Have you ever wondered what it takes to really be authentic? Listen, so many people talk about being authentic, right? It’s like, be your authentic self. Show up authentic, please. Be an authentic leader. Uh, you know, it’s like au authenticity is the new thing. It’s like, yeah, but how, like, what does that even mean? Like when people talk about being an authentic leader, I’ve always wondered, what do you mean by be an authentic leader? Or it’s like, Hey, authenticity is the new way to build trust. And I’m like, but how, and where and when, and. What do you share and how much do you share and where do you share it and when do you share it? And there’s so much conversation about be authentic and so little conversation of what that actually means. And today I was in a conversation with Jessica Wag, [00:01:00] who we happened to have on our podcast, and it hit me like a lightning bolt for the first time, had somebody put it in plain and simple terms. What it means to be authentic. So whether or not you agree with this, whether or not this is, uh, true and real to you, this hit me in such a way that I was like, I have to make a separate video just about this because I have wondered, I have asked myself, I have conversated with people for years who are authors on the subject, speakers on the subject. They do podcasts on the subject, like this is their brand is authenticity, how to be more authentic, and yet I’ve never. Quite clearly understood what that meant. You hear a lot about it, but it wasn’t until today in the most simple and plain terms that it hit me for the first time. That to be authentic simply means to tell the truth. To tell the truth about your story, to not be [00:02:00] afraid to share the hard parts. That doesn’t mean you need to share all of the hard part, all of the hard parts. But what are the parts where you have learned a life lesson that you have grown from? What are the events in your life that changed you, challenged you, uh, made you make different decisions, helped you reinvent, helped you move forward? What are those moments? What are those events that were those pivotal moments in your life that said there was a before and that there will be an after. And I think if we all reflect in our life, if we all just took the time to go, what are the stories? What are the events? What are the experiences that I have gone through that make me who I am? That’s what we’re talking about when we say, just tell the truth. Take a moment, and just be honest that it’s not always easy. Or that it wasn’t always this way [00:03:00] and that maybe the marriage you have today looks really great in photos and videos on social media, but there was a time where you barely made it, or perhaps the business that you run today looks so successful and it looks so easy, and it’s a whole bunch of team members hugging and laughing in pictures. But it wasn’t always that way because there was a time that it was in complete shambles and in distress, and you didn’t even know if you could make payroll. We love to share the highlight reel. We love to share the mountaintop moments of our life, but that is not what people relate to. That is not what connects people to you, your story or your business. What makes you relatable? What makes you someone that people wanna follow is to know that you’ve been through the worst of the worst, but yet you’re still going. That you know, you know what it’s like to be tried and to fail. You know what it’s like to be on the very bottom, but yet [00:04:00] you didn’t give up. Right? To me, those are the stories that attract me. In fact, I’ll tell you a quick story about how I selected my life coach and for, uh, lots of, you know, different intents and purposes, I will leave my coach’s name anonymous, but I was on the hunt for a very long time, uh, for a life coach that I feel like could really help me grow as a leader, as a wife, as a mom, as a human being. I was in a pretty dark place in 2021. Uh, 2021 was probably the hardest year of my professional life, and I’ve had some hard years. I’ve had years of being fired, starting over, losing my income, um, having to sell my car to make payroll of absolutely just being sued, just obs absolutely horrible things. None of them really emotionally compared to the year 2021. It was a dark place, uh, in my life. And [00:05:00] our, my marriage was really struggling. I was really struggling. I was not in a good mental state. Uh, looking back, I probably. Uh, was suffering from some deep, dark anxiety and depression. It was a real spiritual battle that whole year. And, uh, through the grace of God in some really powerful community, I really got encouraged to like, you, you need help. Like you need help. And I tried the counseling route and it just didn’t work for me. Uh, it made it worse. Doesn’t make it work for everyone, but it did for me, and I knew that I just needed someone. Um, who had been through it, and I had all these recommendations of all these amazing coaches that my friends and, uh, different mentors had used over the years. And here’s what was interesting to me. Everything in their bios, everything on their websites, the conversations that I had, the quote unquote sales calls. We’re all about all these successful people that they had helped and all these accolades and credentials and certifications and years in business. And [00:06:00] it was, it was a highlight reel. And I just literally left feeling those conversations of like, well, I can’t share my awful dirty truth with these people. I’m too embarrassed. I’m too ashamed to tell this person how I really feel, how I’m really doing in my life, how I’m really doing in business right now. I can’t do it. And so I did it and then I got reintroduced to an old friend who I had known years before who had also kind of been off of my radar for several years because my coach had gone through a pretty public divorce and, uh, had gone through a pretty public removal of his position, uh, and the organization that my coach was a part of, and. I had this reckoning moment with this person gets me. I know that they know what it’s like to feel the way that [00:07:00] I feel right now. I know that they have been through what I am going through. I know that I can be honest with this person and this person has now been my coach for four years. And it wasn’t because of the HiFi reel. It was because I felt like they got me. And how, how did I know that? Because I knew their story. I knew that they had been on the top and fell to the bottom, but they really struggled in their family and in their marriage. That ended in an unfortunate divorce. But I, I also watched this person climb back to an amazing place of grace and forgiveness and goodness and success. And I was like, well, gosh, if that, if that happened to them. And they’re where they’re at. Maybe that can be me too. Maybe there is a place of restoration and hope for me with how I’m feeling. I chose my life coach because of the story of the trials and the valleys and the hard parts, [00:08:00] not because of the books they had written and the stages they had spoken on, which was all true, but that isn’t what made me hand over my credit card and say, here you go. It was the fact that I knew they had been in the darkest pit, but they had found a way to climb out and there was hope and peace and forgiveness and light in all of that. And I share that story with you because I think it’s really important that you have to realize that people are more likely going to give you their money, sign up for their, your products and services, tune into your content, be in community with you. When they know that you’re not ashamed of your truth, that life is hard, but it’s also beautiful that there’s really hard days and that there’s really good days. There are mountaintop moments, but we have just as many valley moments and we have to be able to be willing to share both. We can share the truth and all the good stuff as long as we’re [00:09:00] not hiding the hard stuff. ’cause what I know, what I have found to be true, that it’s in the hard stuff, that you build real authentic community. And that doesn’t mean you have to know those people in real life. You can build real authentic community by someone reading the pages of your book or listening to a podcast you’re on or a piece of content or just hearing your story through a third party friend. But you can do that. And the way that people remember you is to go, man, there, there’s something in their story that relates to mine. I have a story similar to that. I’ve had feelings like that. I’ve been through things like that. I want to know that I’m in relationship with people who know what it’s like to be me, and that is what it means to be authentic, is that you allow people to get to know you and not just the good parts, but the hard parts. And that through that you’re able to build trust and you’re able to help people understand that there are gonna be those bottom of the [00:10:00] pit days. But you can climb your way out. There is a way I’ve done it and so can you. So when you think about what it means to be authentic and to just tell the truth, it’s to be honest with the parts of your story that you most often try to hide that you don’t love sharing. ’cause maybe they don’t position you in the best light, but perhaps that’s exactly what your audience needs. Yes. They don’t need to see you in the best light. They just need to see you in the realness of what you’ve been through and how you got to where you are. So to be authentic, all you gotta do is just tell the truth.