Ep 316: Be a Better Negotiator with Mori Taheripour

AJV (00:00:02):
Hey everybody. And welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand. So excited to have a fellow what I’m gonna say, learner teacher, student coach speaker consultant, author on the show today Mori was referred to me by a super good friend of mine. And although Mori and I are relatively new friends, we’ve got a really awesome friends in common. And I’m, it got introduced to her. And then I was so privileged to get a copy of her book that I’ve started reading. I think I’m on, like, I don’t know, maybe a third of the way through also holding it upside down right now. I am. There you go.
AJV (00:00:44):
And just love this. I’m so excited to get to talk about the book today, but to give you a little bit of a professional highlights of ma and her background, I’m here to some things credential that maybe you would wanna know. I think these are really cool things. But here’s like, I would say generally speaking, we’re gonna talk a lot about today. A lot about negotiation today and Mori is a negotiation expert and she has worked with some of the most iconic sports leagues, fortune 100 corporations. But she’s also a teacher at the Wharton school of a business. She’s also been on some major media outlets, including ESPN forms, Inc money NPR. Like I could go on and on with professional accomplishments, but we were just having this conversation about how our bios are such a teeny tiny part of who we are, and they really don’t give the full spectrum of who we are as individuals.
AJV (00:01:43):
Just some professional accomplishments along the way. And so two quick things, one Mori, welcome to the show and two I’m, this is my chance to let you introduce yourself and who you really are by helping our audience get to know you. And so here’s my first question for you. So here’s your introduction to the show and our audience. And here’s what we wanna know. We wanna know, how did you go from, let’s just say college graduate to all of these amazing things that you’ve done to most recently launching this awesome book about negotiation. So we wanna know how’d you do it
MT (00:02:27):
Well, first of all, let me just say J thank you for having me on the show, whatever it is you drink in the morning, I’ll have even half of it, even half of it would probably help. So your en your energy is awesome. Thank you for having me here. So I don’t really wanna go into like the really lengthy explanation of it, because I feel like there’s chapters of my life. I would say the first one is really all the way through college. And probably a few years thereafter the daughter of Iranian immigrants much like all the other sort of immigrants, immigrant stories, your parents have all these dreams and ambitions for you. They want the very best life for you. They take all those risks and they leave behind what they know to promote for the hope and promise of a better life for you.
MT (00:03:18):
And so, especially sort of this, what I call Iranian guilt, you know, we sort of carried this weight with us, knowing all that’s been sacrificed for you. And that sort of followed me from college. My father wanted me to be a doctor the youngest of three kids and the first two did not go that route. So I was like the last promise. Right. And, and so almost like living my life in a pre-programmed kind of a way I, I really didn’t even question it. And I went through college. All I knew was that I was not very good at the very thing I was supposed to be doing. Right. So it was, the sciences were always so hard, you know, kind of forced my interest in a lot of them, but it was like, don’t look right. Don’t look left, just look straight ahead.
MT (00:04:02):
This is what you’re supposed to do. And, you know, when I, when I graduated college and took the MCATs twice, by the way I was like, alright, wait a minute. This is not a, I’m not good at this. And two, I, I B I don’t even know if this is something that I enjoy all that much. What I did enjoy was helping people. What I did enjoy through all the, sort of the, the jobs that I’d had through like work study in college and the working in different doctor’s offices. And then really my last job was at St. Louis hospital in New York and Harlem, and working in the sickle cell unit and, you know, sort of really understanding in some ways that it was public health that I really enjoyed. And that was sort of like helping people at a macro level, not a micro level.
MT (00:04:47):
And so, you know, there was some of that in my spirit. I just knew that being a doctor wasn’t it. And so went through a lot of difference where I volunteered at a amazing organizations organization working with really high risk individuals drug users sex workers, and were, I did basically HIV test counseling. So I was the person that spoke to them beforehand to get them tested. And I spoke to them afterwards to get them their results. Wow. Was right. really high risk population. Yeah. Unfortunately was the bear of bad news on way too many occasions. And it broke my heart, but that still sort of spoke to me. Right. It was something where I felt sort of grounded. I felt like I, I could help people in whatever small way possible, but I was doing something that meant something to me.
MT (00:05:42):
And I enjoyed that very much. So, so fast forward that I continued to work in public health for several years, moved on to the public health department. And after a few years had the great privilege of starting this program that, that helped pregnant women who were at risk for HIV aids. And this is I’m kind of going down this route because it is important. But this program that I started kind of took off and it was, you know, the, the, the weight was fashioned was that it was basically supposed to sort of democratize access to HIV testing for people, for pregnant women, no matter if their race, religion, color, whatever it was. And only to be able to understand that they were HIV positive so that they can take the medications to help prevent the transmission of HIV from mother to child.
MT (00:06:33):
And it was extraordinary, right? Again, like this was the first big breakthrough we had had in HIV aids. And again, you feel like you’re doing something that’s meaningful that you could be proud of. It sort of set my soul in its own way. State of California came to me and I said, the great program. We’d like to do this statewide. And here’s like a bunch money for you to do it. And but we want you to do it. So, and I just applied to business school after like all that, the understanding that I was not gonna go to med school, that I sort of found my niche, I was ready to go to business school. And then I get this opportunity and I thought business school can wait. Here’s an opportunity to do something on my own. And so I left the public health department and launched my company at that point as sort of my first sort of entrepreneurial venture. And, and what we did was basically a lot of education and social marketing campaigns, a really big level for like the CDC and others. And so I was like that entrepreneur that got handed money and I was like, wow, this was easy. Like, you know, this is
AJV (00:07:41):
Like, what’s
MT (00:07:42):
So hard about this
AJV (00:07:45):
Bunch of babies.
MT (00:07:46):
Exactly. But I do remember the conversation with my mom because my mom said, okay, you didn’t go to med school. You know, now you’re, you got into business school now you’re gonna do this. And yeah, there was, there was quite a bit of disappointment in that conversation, but I remember telling her that I’m not afraid. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen. Mom, I’ll be like the most educated waitress on the face of planet. Right. Like that’s what I would go to. Right. Because I realized that I really wasn’t afraid, like there was no fear in making that decision at that point. And maybe it’s because I had sort of taken care of myself always, but I thought what’s the worst that could happen. And that was sort of the beginning of this entrepreneurial journey. Now my career’s gone completely a different way, but I think it’s not having fear at that outset that has sort of that’s, that’s the one thing that sort of stayed with me all throughout my life. It was the whole notion of what’s the worst that could happen. Just do
AJV (00:08:41):
It. I wanna pause and talk about that a minute, because I really believe that fear ultimately is what holds most of us back from living out our, our calling and our purpose. Right. It’s like, we get so comfortable where we are that we don’t take the risk because we’re, we’re afraid. Like what if it doesn’t go well? And what, whatever. So I’m so curious, like where did that come from? How did you cultivate that? I mean, is that something you were born with? Like, where did this unabashed lack of fear come from that allows you to do things that others don’t?
MT (00:09:20):
I think a couple of things, the first was sort of like, it was that big fear of having that conversation with my parents to begin with that said, Hey, I don’t wanna be a doctor. I think I feared that for so long that once I had the conversation and I sort of set myself free, then it was like, I don’t know if there was anything else that I feared more than disappointing them, if that makes any sense. So everything else sort of pales to comparison in some way, I thought, I thought, oh my God, I feared that for so long. And all right, what happened? Yes, they’re disappointed, but you know, I’m still time standing. Right. And I’m now able to maybe pursue what I really wanna pursue. So the freedom from that, despite the, all the disappointment, I think if I, if I really had to think about it was the, the one thing that said, look, it all kind of works out.
MT (00:10:07):
Maybe it’s not perfect. Maybe it’s not exactly what you want it to be, but it works out because you have the wherewithal to sort of get through the lowest of the low. The other part of it is like having money or not having it or losing it never really scared me. I kind of felt like it was something that you just sort of could make up for. And I was very serious. I, I had waitress through college, one of the best jobs I ever had. I was like, if that’s what it takes, if all hell all else goes to, to hell in a hand basket, that’s what I’m gonna do. And I was, I think it was some level of sort of humility or maybe survival mechanisms. I don’t know, but that kicked in really early. And I think actually not putting so much emphasis on the, where am I gonna get money? Where am I, how am I gonna survive? Not really thinking about that, but in some, maybe it was some naive way thinking it’s, it’s gonna work out some way that sort of freed me up. I think one of the bigger, bigger, or hurdles that a lot of entrepreneurs, particularly, I think people who have a family to take care of, right. That they have other responsibilities. It was me. And so that, that, you know, maybe was an unfair advantage that I had as well. I just really had myself to sort of take care of,
AJV (00:11:23):
You know, it’s interesting in our last conversation, you said something that really resonated with me because it’s a core belief. Like one of the things that, you know, is kind of like one of my life mantras is that people care much more about who you are than what you do. And one of the things that I asked you on our first conversation was, you know, what’s, what’s something that you wish people knew about you. And I had written this down from my notes in our last call and you wrote down, I want them to know that I am not my work, but I am not my work. And I’m just curious, like how much of this lack of fear really comes from you have a really clear disassociation from your self worth and how that’s connected to your profession.
MT (00:12:08):
It’s not been easy. I’ve learned a lot of my lessons, the really hard way as evidenced by all the stories I tell of my book, I mean, lots of scars and lots of bruises. There’s been some really low lows. And you know, in, in my company, for example we, we, we have sort of, I’ve never lived through this before, as none of us have really a pandemic, but we had, you know, shortly after the, well, whoa, this was really easy. Was the.com crash. I was like, oh no, no, it really wasn’t. And then, you know, then we had the great recession of 2007, 2009, and being an entrepreneur, having to lay people off wor worried about, are you gonna get another contract? You know? So all of that, the really low lows of sort of that economic downturn, you know, I’ve, I’ve gone through that.
MT (00:12:58):
And so there were on those occasions, you know, again, the disappointment of sort of family, right. And, and I always knowing that I didn’t never want to go back and say you were right. I should have never done this. I never wanted to regret that. And so maybe it was the fear of, of failure that drove me in some ways, but with every one of those, those challenges and some I got through and, and it was okay. And some I got through and, you know, heart heartache and breaking up with a, a business partner who had been a friend for so long. And, you know, I would say I’ve never been married, but that was a really bad divorce. And you know, what I realized is that if I continued to sort of tie who I was with, what I did as a profession, then I would’ve been broken.
MT (00:13:51):
Yeah. Right. Or, or that got me kind of emotional. I would’ve broken a whole lot through my life and that was not an option. And the fact that I, I got through it and I didn’t allow myself to be defined by those struggles though, a lot easier said than said now, but it took a lot of sort of self love and, and, and changing my own narrative, you know? So I don’t want anybody to think this is easy. It’s, it’s a life lifelong struggle, honestly. But the more, as strange as it sounds, the more scars I got, the more bruises I got, the more hits that came my way. And I just kept getting up. Mm-Hmm that I realized that, you know, my story, isn’t what I do for a living. My story is bad of a survivor. It’ somebody who who’s gotten brutal and doesn’t have a, a dark darkened heart as a result of it. Like, I don’t, I’m still an optimist. I still believe that I, you know, even with my business partner, I never shied away from working with people again. Or, you know, I didn’t walk around with a, you know, bag full of mistrust and threw it at people every time I met them, it was, I couldn’t do that. And so I think that that’s really important because we are, when all is lost, it’s who you are that really matters. And I’ve lost a lot. So I, I, I decided to separate those things.
AJV (00:15:18):
I think that is such a instrumental and fun, a fundamentally necessary just awareness that we have to have is human beings, much less entrepreneurs or anyone who’s out there it’s like building a personal brand. It’s like, you know, I think the beautiful thing about building a personal brand is it really is about your message, not what you do, it’s about what you believe and right. Who you are and what you stand for. Not about, you know, and that’s why I said, it’s like, you know, we both kind of have this distaste for bios. Right. And I think that’s that, it’s like, what does that have to do with like who I am?
MT (00:15:56):
Exactly.
AJV (00:15:58):
And it’s so funny it’s I was at a recent conference with my husband and at this conference, they were handing out these what do you call ’em lanyards, right. And the lanyards have your name on them. And so my husband gets this lanyard and it says, Rory Vaden, CS, PSA.
AJV (00:16:23):
And it was like, like three other letters. And I was like, what are all of these letters? And it’s like, I took this lanyard and I like marked through all of them and just wrote D a D babe. It’s like, but it was like, like all these like credentials in these letters. And I was like, that’s like, it was two lines. And I was like, this is a third. And it’s like, but that’s what we do in society. I know culture. And I, I love that. I think that’s such an important thing. Like just, I wanted to reiterate y’all to everyone who’s listening. What ma said. It’s like, if I had to attach my identity to my work, I would’ve been broken time and time again, we are not what we do. I think that is like one of the most important messages that we’re gonna hear in this interview.
AJV (00:17:07):
And it’s like, that’s gonna stick with me and to be a constant reminder of like, work, like the work we do is hard. Right. It’s like, you’re, you’re in the public face. It’s like, and you you’re laying it out. Like, you know, it’s like holding MA’s book. It’s like, you’re putting it out there. Right. You’re, you’re wearing your heart and your life on your sleeve when we, we dedicate our message to sharing it with the world. And so, you know, one of the things that I hadn’t read down, and I’m so curious, and I’m always fascinated to hear this because if you’re listening and you’ve ever wondered, you know, what would it take for me to write a book or, you know, should I do it? It’s like, I think it’s really important to know. It’s like, it’s hard work and it is long tedious. It’s gonna suck the resources. And a lot of times the money right out of underneath you. And so here’s my first question for you. It’s like, at what point in your journey, right. Professionally and personally, did you figure out that you wanted to write a book? Like how did you know that? Like, and then why did you do it?
MT (00:18:10):
So we have to backtrack a little bit after that whole sort of the thing with my company. And I, I did eventually go back to business school anyway after five years of, of being in, in my company. And, and when I was getting ready to graduate, my, one of my professors who taught negotiations and was the chairman of that, the legal studies department at the time said I think you should teach. And I thought he had lost his mind. cause I, I was seriously, I, I am an introvert by nature. You know, you handed me a book, I couldn’t stand in front of a classroom and read off the book, much less teach. And seriously, we went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he, I don’t know what he saw. I don’t know. I, I honestly couldn’t even tell you.
MT (00:18:56):
And I, I said, all right, finally, I’ll give this a shot. Right. He said, just be my TA. And that’s how it all sort of started just to see what you think being on the other side of the classroom and not a student that was nearly 18 years ago. I’m, I’m still teaching at Wharton. Wow. But, but I say that to say that then sort of, I talked about my life in chapters, that next chapter was sort of teaching career began. I never imagined it. I had never, never, even in my wildest dreams thought I could do it or was capable of doing it. And it was because somebody saw something in me. I didn’t see in myself. And I always say that to entrepreneurs, especially because I feel like, you know, we’re not risk averse right. To begin with. And, and in a lot of ways obviously not taking ridiculous risks because I think a lot of entrepreneurs take quite calculated risks, but, but in terms of the pursuit of something that drives you that beyond which you have serving in your daily life, right.
MT (00:19:59):
That, that, that goal, that purpose, whatever it is, I think entrepreneurs are incredible in doing that. Right. They sort of jump off that cliff that many people would never dream of doing. For me teaching was that right. I, somebody else saw it and I was like, you know what, I’m gonna give this a shot. What’s the worst that could happen. Right. And it, it was that what sort of drew me obviously to even the subject of negotiations and when I sort of trusted myself, which took about three years to stand in front of a classroom and teach it my way, like teach it the way I saw negotiations, teach it from my perspective and that sort of opens up everything. I won my first teaching award, I would say the first year that I actually kind of ripped up my syllabus and started teaching it exactly the way I wanted to teach it.
MT (00:20:50):
And that sort of made all the difference in the world. So you start trusting yourself and then, and then kind of magic happens. The book so years after I started teaching, I got the opportunity to teach for Goldman Sachs and their 10,000 women’s program which is working with female entrepreneurs globally. It’s not Nashville program. And I helped launch the program in the American university, in Cairo, Egypt, and was there for like the first three cohorts, life changing, amazing female entrepreneurs, guts, conviction, all the, all of it. Right. And one of the people sort of high level at Goldman Sachs was sort of seen sort of the outcomes of that program. And, and was that actually for the first graduation of these women came to me after several years of me being in that program and then actually teaching in the 10,000 school business program, which is where I went to next, after that said, whatever it is you do in my classroom, I’m not really sure what it is, cause I haven’t sat in it, but something magical happens and something really special happens. Look at the way they respond to you, capture it in a book.
MT (00:22:03):
So here’s somebody else who says, you know, they see something in you. And I was never fancied myself to be an author. Didn’t even like writing. The best part of being premed was that I took tests. I didn’t have to write anything. Right. And so I was like, there’s just no way. And, and moreover, there’s like a billion negotiations books out there. What do I have to contribute? Yeah. And so I fought it again. Right. I didn’t trust it. And, and, and yet he sort of planted the seed and kept coming back to me about it. And it took first, it took about 10 years to get the book out, but that’s only because the first four years I negotiated against myself I was like, there’s no place for you that you don’t want a redundancy. You don’t wanna do something that’s already out there.
MT (00:22:48):
But then when I was like, wait a minute, but what these books say is so different than what you deliver. Mm-Hmm, that don’t, you want people to hear that more don’t you really want, wanna give people that opportunity to see this topic of negotiations from a very different perspective. And I couldn’t find it in anything else, to be honest with you. And until I found that opportunity, I didn’t let myself dream it. And once I did, there was, you know, it was, I ran out of the gate and really started to sort of think about what I wanted to say and what was important, what capturing that message. And that was the hardest part. Once I got started, the proposal was, was not as hard because you sort of know at that point where your heart is and what it is that you wanna deliver. I got incredibly lucky when all these publishers were like, great idea, love the book, love, love. I mean, it was everything sort of fell into place, but I was my biggest obstacle for a very long time. And so, you know, once, you know, and once, you know, it’s a message that’s so necessary, then I would say and I would say writing it, wasn’t actually as hard as I imagined it to be.
AJV (00:24:07):
You know, it’s interesting. I think there’s like a couple of things I wanna kind of like circle around is one I did, this is a really great reminder to everyone who’s listening. Like writing a book does not happen in a year. It just doesn’t you, you said this was like a 10 year process, the first four years of negotiating against yourself. But then like, y’all like take note, like this does not happen in a year. And if it doesn’t or two years, that doesn’t mean it’s not going to, but this was a very multi-year process. Right? It was
MT (00:24:40):
Mm-Hmm .
AJV (00:24:42):
So you’re kinda saying like, once you knew, like there is a message that I have, that’s kind of like unique and different. I think this is, I think this is equally as important because I think so many people struggle with, well, everything has already been said, I have nothing else to add. So what advice would you give to someone who’s talking them at themselves out of their own dream?
MT (00:25:04):
It’s like, no, honestly, I think especially for entrepreneurs, it’s no different than that product that you know, that there’s nothing else in the market for it, or, you know, whatever niche that you create or, you know, writing a book. I think that so much of it has to be your own belief in it, because again, there are no guarantees right there there’s zero guarantees. So at the end of the day, can you do something that you’re a proud of, but B that could have been, and would’ve been, and should have been like those types of regrets that come from not having taken that risk, not, not living up to the promise of what you had imagined for yourself and instead sort of backing off because you didn’t believe in the fact that you could actually pull it off. I think those missed opportunities to me are far scarier.
MT (00:25:58):
Like they, that, that notion of the, what if regret is so much more difficult to live with because you will spend the rest of your life thinking about it, as opposed to doing it and maybe failing and you learn, and then you move on, but at least you can never look back and say, what if I had and I think so much as we can control when we get to that intersection so much as we can control taking that turn and moving towards something and saying, what’s the worst that can happen. Right. I, I, I think that’s really important. And once you believe then it’ll work or it won’t, but you won’t ever have to spend all those time, you know, moments thinking, you know, I, I let it flip by.
AJV (00:26:43):
Mm that’s so good. I love that. I love too. It’s like the, the fear of not going for it is like greater than the fear of going for it. I think so good. And I wanna, I wanna get to the book in just a second, because I, I really wanna learn like your insights and perspective around negotiation, cuz I know they’re really unique and I think a lot of people don’t consider themselves good salespeople or good negotiators. We’re gonna change their mind on that today. But from a place of being on the other side, you know, we celebrated 10 years of our first book coming out. This year’s unbelievable. It’s been out for 10 years, but our publishing story was very different than yours. We basically prospected agents for like two years. We were borderline stalking these people until they finally were like, oh my gosh, we’ll just, we’ll read the proposal.
AJV (00:27:32):
So you go away. Luckily it all turned out in our favor, but from, you know, one publishing story to another, because they’re all very different. I would love for you to kind of share, like what has your journey been? And like a real life perspective for the listener out there. Who’s going, I do feel that calling on my heart, I do have that message that I know it’s, it’s unique and different and my audience needs to hear it. And I don’t know how to go about doing this. Like what do you mean you just called a publisher or what, what did you do? Right. So kinda give us like your, your perspective. I mean, this is, this is somewhat fresh, right? Mm-Hmm so still top of mind for you, what, what, what was that process like and what would you tell someone to do? Who’s like, no, I really, I have the calling to write a book on my heart. Like, what would you tell ’em to do to get it out there?
MT (00:28:25):
I got an agent before I even knew I was gonna write a book, right. We, I had this for a good fortune of meeting this person and as friends and, and really sort of relied on him all along the way, especially in those four years. And he understood where I was coming from because he, he respected the fact that I didn’t just wanna write another book then, and didn’t have sort of something that was different and fresh and knew cause he would have to stand by it. And so I think that was crucial. One in getting me to focus in a way that could bring this book sort of to market successfully and would be something that people would wanna buy from testing who my audience would be to all of that, right. Something that that’s what agents, they all agents, they, they are great at something, right.
MT (00:29:16):
That it could be lawyers. They could be whatever it is that work on your behalf. In this case, he was somebody that knew the publishing world and had a great eye for these things. So I relied on him to, to sort of take me through that early those early stages. And then it was, I think his relationship with the publishing world that got me, honestly, the type of an advance that was huge. I, I mean there was a, a sort of, they did an auction basically over my book, right? Like who would’ve ever imagined that there was like more than one person who wanted to get behind this book and it was a proposal at that point. And so it was, they believed. And I think that the, the reason why that worked is because relationships have existed, right. There was a tremendous amount of respect between all these publishing houses and my agent.
MT (00:30:12):
He led me to a place that I could proudly stand behind something and sell it. Mm-Hmm and, and so I think this is the kind of thing where you have to have some level of humility. You may know a lot, you don’t know everything. And I think there is just, I knew nothing about that world. I probably have even learned much more about it. Wish I had known more before actually this book was published. And would I do some things different again? Absolutely. It’s been a learning process all along. There’s a lot to it, but an agent was re he was my eyes and ears and, and then really promoted me in a way that I probably would never have been able to do on my own. I think,
AJV (00:30:54):
Yeah. I think that’s really important. And you know, it’s like, it’s same. It’s like we knew that we had to get an agent. If we wanted to do the traditional publishing route. We knew that. And that’s why we spent two years prospecting and stalking. Our particular agent that finally signed us. And the crazy thing was, is, you know, it, it took us two years to get an agent. And once we had an agent and fine tune the proposal, it took us less than two weeks to sell it. So I think a lot of that is it comes down to relationships and reputation mm-hmm right. But I think one of the things that I think is really important is so often we, I hear this from a lot of clients in the brand builders group community. And they think that writing a book is how they build their content.
AJV (00:31:40):
And that’s not how you do it. Mm-Hmm and I love your story story and your journey in this, because you’ve been building and fine tuning your set of content for like 20 years. Right. Right. And it’s like, you already knew what was gonna go in this book now. Right. Chapters and frameworks and all of that, I’m sure were a part of this process, but the beautiful thing is it’s like you had already been teaching this, you were already known for this. You were already experiencing the lives that were being transformed cause of it, other people were noticing it it’s like you were already associated with this topic and with this content way before it ever showed up in a book, would you agree with that
MT (00:32:22):
Completely? I mean, it’s, it’s ludicrous to think that, that, you know, your book, it looks like the other way around, you know, you’re putting the car before the horse. I think, you know, looking at your example and hearing what you all did, you had your content as well, right? It actually, the story is all that different, right. Because you knew you wanted the book, whereas me, I, to talk myself into that, but once you have those parts connect, then it’s you go? And the reason why it’s not painstaking is because we had all the content. Yeah. Right. So the book becomes the packaging of that or the making it almost accessible. Mm-Hmm as opposed to, you know, let me figure out what I’m gonna say. As I, as I write this now, you know, if I go on to book number two or whatever it is from there, it it’s because of what you’ve learned, then the content that you’ve developed, you know, maybe even after the fact or all that, you couldn’t fit into the first one, but the content has to exist so that you can package it and again, make it accessible, give it to the people who would never have taken your class or have the opportunity to see you all in action or work with you.
MT (00:33:32):
Right. It’s the accessibility of that, that I think the book becomes as opposed to, to your point, the other way around.
AJV (00:33:38):
I totally agree. It’s like one of the things that we, you know, we, we get a profile at the time, like, well, when are you guys gonna write your book on personal branding? And you know, our message for the last four years has been, it’s like our, our philosophy is the book is the final product, not the first product, right? It’s like, we’ve been fine tuning our methodologies and our processes and tweaking it. And it’s like, when the book comes, you’ll know that everything is just where we think it should be. It’s the final product, not the first product. Right. I think there a trend right now is that people create a book to then sell their services. And we’re kind of like, now you need to go sell the services.
MT (00:34:19):
right. You need
AJV (00:34:20):
Go speak on this, train on this, consult on this. You need to like be doing it, living it, then go write the book.
MT (00:34:28):
Absolutely.
AJV (00:34:28):
Which is what you’ve done. And to me, that, to me, that is what makes me wanna read a book like this is because it’s not your first rodeo. This is like your 1000th rodeo. So let’s talk about, bring yourself I wanna talk about this. It’s how to harness the power of negotiation to negotiate fearlessly. So what is negotiation? Because I think that’s like one of those terms that people use that can kind of be frightening. So for all of our listeners who are like, oh man, I, I can’t negotiate. I’m not a negotiator. Right? What is your definition of negotiation?
MT (00:35:05):
So it’s something we do all the time. Like literally from the moment you get up in the morning to the moment you go to sleep at night, you know, that’s your parent. But even, you know, regardless of that, every time you make a decision, every with yourself, even, you know, I always say pros and conflicts are, you know, a masterful negotiations, right? Because you’re thinking all the reasons why not and all the reasons why and so debate, that’s going to inner debate that’s going on. But you know, everything from family conversations, kids, business partners, vendors, I mean, you name it. It’s all in negotiation. So literally people hear the word and they’re so anxious and they think they’re bad at it. And I’m like, how could you possibly be bad at it? You, you do this all day long every day. And it’s literally those, those transferable skills that we use that I teach in class that is no different than everything else that you use every day that makes negotiations what it is.
MT (00:36:04):
Right. So it’s not meant to be scary. It’s not conflict ridden necessarily those such a small slice of that pie. Yes. There are difficult conversations. Yes. There are bad deals, that’s life. But the majority, again, if you think about it in the context of, if this is like the soundtrack of our lives, how could it all be conflict? It’s not, the majority are problem solving and, and collaboration and they build relationships, not break them up. And, and so it’s life. It, it literally is every part of our life. And so important as a result.
AJV (00:36:43):
So what would you say makes someone a good negotiator?
MT (00:36:52):
So I should probably sort of public service announcement. This is, this is I take a very different perspective than a lot of perspectives that we see sort of in TV or things that we’ve heard all our lives about. That great negotiator is sort of in your face, combative, you know, goal driven to the point that they’re not even considering anybody else. And you know, that, that real sort of almost like masculine inequalities and I don’t mean masculine male, female. I just mean that sort of the bra that mm-hmm, , that’s bigger sort of in your face. And I feel like there’s a lot of successful negotiations that negotiators that have those types of characteristics and, and I, you know, great. Right. But then there’s a whole other world of people that are so different than that. And
AJV (00:38:37):
Clearly we’re gonna need to cut this. It’s like roughly at minute 42 the question I will restart with is what makes a good negotiator. And then we’ll, re-pick it up. So I’ll wait here patiently until she comes back
Speaker 3 (00:40:08):
Okay. So that was really scary. That was literally never happened. It was like an outage, like, oh,
AJV (00:40:15):
That’s weird.
Speaker 3 (00:40:15):
Everything flickered and it just went out. So I’m sorry about that.
AJV (00:40:19):
No, that’s okay. I actually, I captured the minute wrote down the question, so we’re just gonna start over with what makes a good negotiator. Okay. And I already noted the minute we’ll cut it out. It’s not a big deal. I captured all of it really quick.
Speaker 3 (00:40:31):
Are you okay with me actually getting rid of the
AJV (00:40:34):
Yes, totally. Okay. Okay. All so made all the verbal notes for the editor.
Speaker 3 (00:40:41):
Do you want me to start from the beginning?
AJV (00:40:43):
Yeah. So I’m just gonna re-ask question and then that’ll be a good kind of like segue. So okay. So here’s, here’s the next question then? What makes a good negotiator
Speaker 3 (00:40:54):
What makes a good negotiator? So I think that we’ve seen a lot of movies and sort of public profiles that show sort of these really brash negotiators in your face, sort of combated, very aggressive mm-hmm and that’s sort of been, I think, what a lot of people consider sort that character that they consider to be great negotiators. Right. And, and there’s certainly, and I know plenty that are, that are that way, right. They fast those characteristics, but then there’s a whole other world of people that are so different, right. Everything from like amazing diplomats to, you know, I quote Nelson Mandela in my book to plenty of other people that, that have not those characteristics, but something quite different in so far as they’re empathetic and they’re respectful. And they are about sort of, you know, consensus building and, and collaboration. And so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not one type of person that makes for a great negotiator.
Speaker 3 (00:41:53):
I think the great negotiator is the person who’s their, their authentic self and understands that this is a skill that is learned, right? We’re not born great negotiators and the more you do it, the better you become. But I think a really big part of that is the level of authenticity and believing that that person that’s coming to the table, that, you know, how you show up that gives you the confidence to be a great negotiator. And then all the other things I could tell you like the characteristics, I believe that the best negotiators are incredibly curious that they use negotiations, not an O as an opportunity to be so self-assured that they think they have nothing else to learn, but they come to the table curious with sort of that, that blend of confidence and humility that says I’m confident with who I am and what I bring here, but I’m humble enough to know that there’s a lot to learn always.
Speaker 3 (00:42:47):
And so the open mind, the open heart empathy, you know, where, again, it’s that level of curiosity about the person you’re negotiating with to understand their journey, how they’ve gotten here so that you can appeal to their sense of values and order. And, and, you know, I think those are the things that we don’t often see celebrated because again, that character that we see in our heads about the movies that we watch, the great negotiators are never seen as like the real kind, respectful, you know, empathetic person it’s so wrong. Because I think there’s a place for everybody, but in my mind, in my heart, I just believe that the, the great negotiators are those that make room for other people. And, and, and trust that, that conversation and that, that, that approach where it considers both sides is really the best one.
AJV (00:43:38):
Mm. I think that’s really good. I actually have a really difficult conversation coming up. Later this week, that’s gonna require some financial negotiation and that’s a really great reminder for me right now is like, I need to come to this quote, unquote, negotiation table, really seeking to understand, like, where are you coming from? Why do you feel this way? Like really seek to understand the other person in order for me to even have a fighting chance at finding a happy medium win-win situation.
Speaker 3 (00:44:12):
Yeah. Because I mean, first of all, knowing all that you’re bringing to a table, right. That’s sort of the most important part, right? The, the reason why my book is called bringing yourself is because I believe the hardest part of all this is to really understand their own value. Right? And that, that conversation you have to have with yourself at first, right? Who you are, what you stand for, what your values are, what your conviction is, the things that are sort of the non-negotiables, which have literally nothing to do with money, by the way, it’s what you stand for. Right? And, and once that’s sort of understood, and you could speak, you can be your own sort of best advocate. Then I feel like everything else sort of falls into place, right. Because everything else becomes some kind of tactic or strategy. But the hardest part is that breaking through those really negative things that we say you just said fighting chance which I would never see somebody like you who’s accomplished all that. You’ve accomplished. Even think that that’s how they should think about this. Of course you have a fighting chance of, I mean, are you crazy
AJV (00:45:18):
Reminder talk matters,
Speaker 3 (00:45:21):
Right? But it’s like, no. I mean, the minute you think that, that you have to sort of even fight to have the chance, like I would, I would abolish all of that. I would, I would put that away because you know, the truth is it will not take you that long to understand why you’re supposed to be there in the first place and ask for what you’re worth. Right. That, that should not take very long. But the other part of that is that, you know, negotiations is all about influencing somebody. Mm-Hmm ING somebody. How on earth would you ever be able to do that? If you can’t persuade yourself first mm-hmm right. So that’s why I believe like that it’s being a great negotiator is in everybody. Right. We all have it. It’s never, you’re not smart enough. It’s never that you don’t know the right strategies. It’s like, get out of your own way. And once you do that, then, then it’s, I, I dare say both enjoyable and, and not so difficult.
AJV (00:46:20):
Oh yes. Let’s have another coaching session. This is podcast coaching session for AJ. But I think that’s really important cuz it’s like you do like even subconsciously start to think about negotiation in a way of like win or lose. That’s not a real thing. Like we, no one has to lose, no one has to lose in this. And I do think there’s so much negative connotation around the idea of negotiation. So I’m curious, like where do you think that comes from? Like even in my subconscious where I’m an extraordinarily unusually confident human being, but for me to even like subconsciously think fighting chance, like when it comes to negotiation, like where do you think that comes from?
Speaker 3 (00:47:02):
I think society in a lot of ways, right? Again, like what’s what we see in movies, what we see on TV, what we read. And I think that maybe just maybe the more sort of other examples that we see of really sort of these successful negotiators women who, you know, are, are tremendous at this, by the way, talk about sort of the bad stories, but you know, the more examples we have of people who don’t espouse those other sort of characteristic and, and when we can actually change the paradigm of how we, we see negotiations, we reimagine it. And it becomes something that we all understand that we’re so capable and confident of doing, but, but, you know, use it in a way that speaks to you, right? Make it your voice that matters, not what you are told that you should say or how you should pretend to be.
Speaker 3 (00:48:00):
I mean, there’s more pretense in what people are taught, right? There’s more, you know, negotiations is not like baking a cake. I, who am I to tell you, if you say this word and that word, and if you do this and you act like this, you’re gonna succeed, first of all, that’s not true. it can’t possibly be true, right? It’s gonna fail probably as many times as it’s gonna succeed. Totally. But the moment that we realize that living in our truth, living in our purpose honoring our values, honoring ourself, that those things are fundamentally not just what will make us successful in life, but successful their value negotiations. I think the moment, the moment we embrace that, that we realize that in a world that we’re told to be everything that we’re not, mm-hmm, that to stand up and be courageous and be exactly who you are. That’s what else is there?
AJV (00:48:56):
Mm. I love that, you know, and you said something earlier that, you know, really resonated with me, but then also with so many of, you know, the people that I, I get to interact with on a daily basis, both personally and professionally and it’s setting up non-negotiables right. And I think that’s a huge, a huge part of negotiation, but also of confidence of knowing it’s like, there’s wiggle room, but then I have my non-negotiables and there’s no wiggle room there. And so I’ve heard you say, and maybe it was our conversation, maybe it was in the book. I don’t remember at this point, but it’s like, and that negotiation is not an issue of skill. It’s more to do with self-worth and confidence. Can we talk about that for just a minute? Yeah. Like to hear that negotiation is not a skill thing, it’s a belief thing. I mean, that’s really different because it’s like every other negotiation training book seminar that I’ve ever been to are very, very sales oriented, very skills oriented it’s words to use body language, tone of voice, you know, you know, all the things, right. So to hear, it’s not a skill issue, it’s a self worth, it’s a confidence issue. Really puts it in a different place of perspective. And so just, I wanna hear your thoughts on that.
Speaker 3 (00:50:21):
I’ll probably be best at describing that if I give you an example, but before I go there, I, I, I think that, again, the hardest part is that get knowing yourself, knowing your self worth. And this is after thousands of people that I’ve taught, it could be CEOs of major corporations. It could be professional athlete, people who you would never imagine have, you know, issues with sort of self-worth or, you know, imposter syndrome as we imagine it, but they do right. And so time and time again, it goes back to this issue of knowing your value, right. And not just knowing it, but being able to courageously and fearlessly advocate for it. And so I feel like if, if you can do that, then I don’t teach rocket science. Anybody who tells you that they’re, you know, you have to learn all of these skills before you can negotiate successfully is, is just not being honest because the, the fact is that those are, and those are first of all, really easy, right?
Speaker 3 (00:51:18):
Learning how to prepare for negotiations is not rocket science, right? Learning, you know, what kinds of things you should consider in preparation, not rocket science. You know, what’s rocket science. What’s really hard is knowing your self worth because only then, right? Can you actually set goals that are aspirational and worthy of you? And then once you set those goals, then you can actually go to the table and, and ask for those things. And then once you can ask for those things, then you actually get it right. But if that first piece is not done, then all the skills in the world are not gonna get you through that journey without you folding. Right. So, so grounding yourself and knowing yourself is really important. You talked about non-negotiables non-negotiables are generally things that are like our values. Yeah. Right? Our convictions, things that if you give them away, you are no longer whole, no matter how success we’ll be, outcome of the negotiations is right.
Speaker 3 (00:52:15):
It’s the stuff we can’t live with ourselves. If we put those, you know, whether it’s lying, whether whatever it is. Right? So even those things have nothing necessarily to do with financials or the sort of the, the tangibles, it’s the intangibles that matter right now, the example that, that I was gonna give you is this, that, that the best negotiators, right. If, if you’ve gone through 65 trainings, read every book, listen to the podcast, you know, I’m so ready. Right. I’ve watched every movie I’m, I’ve got it. Right. But what you really struggle with is sort of fear and anxiety, or even like, maybe even lack of self-belief. Right. And you know, there’s all these studies that are done. Say like we have somewhere between 12,000 to 60 thoughts, 60,000 thoughts, a day of those thoughts, 80% of them are negative, right? So the minute you go down that rabbit hole and you fall back into that one behavior, you have not chosen to address, which is the fear, the anxiety, the stories that you tell yourself, right? And this, this, you just go in a tail spin. You will not remember what it said on page 37 of that book. Right.
AJV (00:53:31):
That’s not true. That’s so true.
Speaker 3 (00:53:35):
Mirroring. You can hardly see the person sitting across from you straight because right. Because cognitively your fear is blocked you from doing that. So you’re in your head, you can’t be present. You’re fearful that now affects every little, everything big or small that you’ve learned. And you’ve been told to do. And now you’re sitting there in a, in a, you know, pile of fear. Mm-Hmm . And how do you get through that? You don’t know, because you hadn’t addressed what was most important, which is those things that really you’ve struggled with internally. So that’s why I say the skill thing, easy breezy, right? The, the internal stuff, right? The, the, the mindset work, the, the, the, the lack of self love, lack of self-worth lack of understanding why your why? Just in general, that’s the really, really hard stuff that if you can accomplish that, then that’s why I said skills. You know, EQ is so much more important than IQ in any negotiations any day of the week. Right? That’s what gives you sort of strategic, strategic advantage. Why? Because it tells you how to be present. It tells you how to listen. It tells you the people side is far more difficult skills anybody can learn.
AJV (00:54:51):
Yeah. Oh, I love this. And you know, this is, it just brings up, you know, a fear that I often hear from people who are working on their personal brand or who want to become more well known for something, but what their real fear is, is, do I really have anything to add to the conversation? And I love this so much because being in a world of sales for a very long time, there’s a lot of talk on negotiation. I have literally probably read a dozen books, been to twice as many conferences or seminars heard speakers on these attended webinars. And I have never heard negotiation discussed the way that you’re discussing it today. And if we would just lean more into the uniqueness that is just naturally within us as like, I wish this was the conversation that was had with me when I was starting out at 22 and 23, like how much further ahead I would be if it was not about reading body language and, you know, say these words and do it at this time.
AJV (00:55:55):
And, but it was more about like, do you know what you’re going in for? Right. Do you know what you really want? Do you know what the outcome is that you wish, you know, to have? It’s like, do you know your non-negotiables like, do you know your own self worth? Like, do you even know what you’re negotiating for? Right. It’s like, how often are we just, you know, and in my perspective, it’s to my comment I made earlier, it’s like, sometimes it’s just a, it’s, it’s a battle. It’s like, well, I’m just going into win. Right. Right. And it’s like, well, right. Is what’s that old saying, you can win the battle and still lose the war. Right. Right. It’s like, do we even know what we’re, we’re going into conversate with? I think this is such a great reminder to anyone who is listening. It’s like, regardless of what you feel called to talk about, I assure you the way you’re gonna talk about it is different than how anyone else is going to talk about it because they’re not you, I, this is a great example of that in this conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:56:50):
And I should have probably added before, as I’m thinking, as you’re saying, this is like another really great attribute of, of, of negotiators, great negotiators is that they’re storytellers really, really great storytellers. And that’s how we move people. Right. That’s how we influence people. That’s how we persuade people. And it’s the story you tell yourself. Right. But it’s also the stories that you can share with other people, the, the opening up the vulnerability, the, the letting people in. But we’ve been told that you should not, and I’m not saying, you know, be vulnerable in every negotiations, but just even vulnerable to yourself. Right. And, and that sort of deep understanding of yourself, but learning to tell your story, you know, it’s the brand builder’s way, right? Yeah. But it’s, but it’s knowing, knowing how to do that fearlessly. And knowing that that’s how you change people’s minds and hearts, I guess you know, the, the great quote of, of this notion of, you know, people may forget what you said, and they may forget what you did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel. How do we make people feel some way mm-hmm, we, we tell that story, we bring them in and that you can’t learn in books that you have to first believe and then, and then have the, the courage to share,
AJV (00:58:11):
Oh, I love this. I could continue this conversation for another hour and still have more questions. But I wanna make sure people know where to go to check out this book, bring yourself so more where should go to learn more about you and learn more about becoming that great negotiator that is already within
Speaker 3 (00:58:34):
Well, they can, so everything’s on my website. So if they go to more report.com the information about the book I’ve got a newsletter they can sign up for everything’s there. I’m on social media, the book itself, you can find it, any outlet that sells books. So Amazon and hang on random house. It’s actually the publisher Barnes and Nobles all it. So not too hard to find it is out there.
AJV (00:58:58):
All right. Well, I will make sure to put your website link in the show notes, everyone spells it correctly. You can go to Amazon type in, bring yourself, I’ll put all your social handles in the show notes. And before we sign off, I have one last question for you that has nothing to do with negotiation or publishing or teaching or anything. But since it came up today this is help me and help our audience get to know you. What would you say are three non-negotiables in your life that you’re like, these are three non-negotiables for me.
Speaker 3 (00:59:32):
I don’t lie.
AJV (00:59:34):
It’s a good one. ,
Speaker 3 (00:59:36):
I’m horrible at it. That’s probably one of the reasons why, like, I can’t keep up with a, with a, with a lie to save my life. And so I just feel like the reputational risk is so worth so huge and so damaging. Yeah. That, you know, I, I just, I’ve, I’ve learned from mistakes and not even like business mistakes, but like mom and asking me 30 questions and I’m like, I lost you at eight. Right. So can’t do that.
AJV (01:00:05):
That’s a good, I love that. Okay. That’s good.
Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
Not having the really hard conversations. I, I, I wanna just, if it’s there, let’s just talk, talk about it, right. Because I’ve, I’ve, that’s another thing I’ve learned. I carried the burden of those difficult conversations for a really long time. I, I, I, I lived with Ms. I was diagnosed with Ms in 2010, the burden of stress and all the rest of it had, hasn’t gotten the best of me, but it definitely has taught me that, that the minute you can release that stress and, and the stress of sort of holding back things that are important to you or things that, that need to get cleared away, then, you know, it’s, it’s just so much healthier for your mind, your body, your spirit, all of it.
AJV (01:00:53):
Hmm. Love that.
Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
My non-negotiable, I don’t, I don’t want to be in any kind of relationship business or otherwise with people who have little thought for others that have no empathy, that, that just don’t care. Here I go getting emotional again. I don’t even understand it, but, but I feel like I see so much of that. We see so much of that in our world, and it honestly breaks my heart. And I know that I can’t control all that happens, but I can certainly control those people who I wanna associate with. Amen. And I feel like that we owe the world. We owe everybody better than that. More than that. So that’s really important for me is for people to, to just care about others.
AJV (01:01:48):
Yeah. I love that. Those are so good. I think this is a good practice for all of us, right? Leaving this show. It’s like, if nothing else, it’s like spend some time thinking about what are the non-negotiables in your life. And I love those more. I think those are so good. I have so enjoyed having on the show, getting to know you more, getting to learn from you and also getting a mini coaching session. So lots of, for me y’all stay tuned. I’m gonna record our recap episode. That’ll be live next. Make sure you check out the book, bring yourself and make sure you come back for another episode on the influential personal brand. We’ll see you next time. Thank you.

Ep 314: 5 Steps to Getting Paid Speaking Gigs with Grant Baldwin

RV (00:00):
To so a few weeks ago, my friend grant Baldwin introduced me to his audience. I was on his podcast and it had been a while since we connected. And he sent me an email thread that went back years and years of when we first connected and he was sort of making his climb through the industry. And it’s been fun for me to just sort of watch him you know, come into the speaking world, you know, kind of crack through. He never had a huge following or wasn’t like, you know, TV famous or something like that. And he’s built just a wonderful career for himself as a paid speaker and also helping other people get speaking engagements. And so he made that his entire business. He’s the CEO of a company called speaker lab which just recently found out congratulations. They’re on the in 5,000 list for the second time. He’s been featured in Forbes and entrepreneur in, in magazines, Huffington post, and has just been, you know, around hanging in the same circles, the national speakers association, et cetera, and also right here around Nashville. So we’ve, we’ve come across each other from time to time. He’s somebody that I think we’ve got a lot we can learn from. And anyways, welcome to the show grant. Good to see you.
GB (01:11):
Right. Thanks for letting me hang out with you, man. I appreciate it.
RV (01:13):
Yeah, brother. So let’s talk about your expertise, like getting some paid speaking engagements where do we find them? How do we, how do we go about getting them? Right. So a lot of people listening are, you know, some of ’em are coach a lot. A lot of our eyes is like coaches and speakers. A lot of ’em are like professional service providers and things like that. You know, or just entrepreneurs in general. And for us, personal branding, as you know, is not social media or websites. We think of it as reputation. And this is like, how do you build your reputation? So speaking is a huge part of that. It’s been a huge part of our career when you make that transition to go, I wanna get paid speeches. What’s the first thing that needs to happen or where do you go look?
GB (02:00):
Yeah, good question. So what we basically teach inside the speaker lab is a five step framework. We call the speaker success roadmap. And so it makes the acronym speak. And so maybe what we could do is why don’t, I just kinda like walk through at a high level, what that acronym is and kind of sure here’s the roadmap that we follow. And then we can kind of jump in wherever, but the first part of the process S is select a problem to solve. And so this comes down to two key things that everyone listening, you gotta get really, really clear on. You have to be clear on who do you speak to? And number two, what problem do you solve for that audience? Now this, this seems overly simplistic. And it’s like, yeah, yeah, but just like fast forward, tell us how to actually book gigs.
GB (02:35):
But if you’re not clear on these things, then you’re shooting for everything and nothing at the same time. And so what we, what we tend to see, and you’ve seen this as well, Roy is that whenever it comes to who do you speak to? A lot of times we wanna spread the net as far and wide as possible. So who do I speak to? I don’t know. I, I speak to humans. I speak to people. My message is for everybody. Right? Right. And the reality is, is like that just doesn’t work. And same thing whenever it comes to, what do you speak about? And people are oftentimes like, well, what do you want me to, to speak about? I could speak about sales or marketing or leadership or motivation or family or faith or on and on the list goes. And so what we tell speakers all the time is you wanna be the steakhouse and not the buffet, the steakhouse and not the buffet.
GB (03:11):
And what we mean by that is Roy. If you and I were going to grab a bite to eat, we were looking for a good steak. Like we have a choice. We could go to a buffet where steak is one of a hundred different things that they offer and they’re all mediocre. Or we could go to a steakhouse where they do one thing, but they do that one thing really, really, really well. They don’t do Pasa. They don’t do seafood. They don’t do sushi. They do steak. And that is it. And again, it’s counterintuitive because as speakers, we think that we need to spread the net as far and wide as possible. The more things I can speak about the more audiences I can appeal to the more opportunities that I will have, but people are looking for specialists and not generalists. So you don’t wanna try to speak on anything and everything to everybody solve one specific problem for one specific audience. So again, if you get that right, if you get clarity there, everything else in the process becomes much simpler. So that’s the yes. Elective problem to solve the B is
RV (04:01):
I wanna talk about that for just a second. So when you say a problem to solve, what are some characteristics of a great problem to solve? So like, you know, marketing is an example, is that considered like in your world, in your language, is marketing a problem that you solve or is it have to be something more specific than that? Like what, what are the criteria that something must pass in order for you to go? Yeah, that’s a clear problem that you can make money, like you can take to the market and solve.
GB (04:32):
Yeah, absolutely. And to your point there, like there’s an overlap there between what you’re interested in, what you’re passionate about, what your knowledge belong, what your expertise is in and what is it that the industry, or actually cares about because just because you’re an expert on something doesn’t necessarily mean that there are opportunities to speak on that thing. And maybe there are opportunities to speak, but not to a particular industry that you are looking for. So there’s basically, I think about like kind of a VIN diagram of three different circles here. Okay. and so we’re looking for three different things. One is gonna be your industry. So who exactly are you speaking to meaning that there are certain kinda like predefined industries within the speaking space? And so there, there are seven primary industries and within this, there’s a whole bunch of different kind of subcategories, but real quick, those are corporations, associations, nonprofit, faith-based government, military education K through 12 and college.
GB (05:23):
Okay. So again, within that, there’s a whole bunch of different subcategories, but those are typically the big seven categories that the majority of speaking engagements fall into. So you have industry, the other side of it is going to be integrity, meaning like, what are you actually qualified to talk about? What is the some expertise or knowledge now that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to be the world’s foremost expert on this thing, but you need to know at least something on the topic, be knowledgeable on it, know something slightly, be slightly ahead of maybe where your audience might be. And then the third piece kinda what you’re talking about here, Rory is interest. So industry integrity and interest. And so this is a two way street. One is something that, that you are interested on. You’re knowledgeable on, you have some expertise on, but it also has to be something that that industry or that decision maker is interested in.
GB (06:04):
So let me give you a quick example of this. So years ago, when I got started, when I first reached out to you in 2006 or seven or whatever it was, and I was kind of figuring things out, I was doing a lot of speaking in the education space. And one of the topics that at the time that I was really interested in was the subject of personal finance. This was something that my wife and I like, we were going through some of Dave Ramsey stuff and paying off debt and, and going like, wow, this has really made a big impact in our lives. So if I could teach teenagers about this, like that would make a huge, huge impact for them. And one of the things that we found was that I was doing a lot of speaking in schools and conferences.
GB (06:39):
And if I interviewed a hundred different high school principals, all 100 of them would say that yes, teaching students about personal finance was really, really important yet. Nobody was really hiring speakers to talk about personal finance in a school assembly setting. So was it important to them? Was it of interest to them? Yes, but it wasn’t necessarily something that they were hiring speakers to talk about. But what I found was that oftentimes they were hiring speakers to help their students in a school assembly setting, make a successful transition from high school and to college in the real world. So I started doing talks around that. And within that, I would talk about talk about personal finance. So it wasn’t like this bait and switch or anything, but saying, Hey, here, what’s the thing that you are looking for, the challenge that you have, that you identify for yourself within your school, within your students that you have, how do I, how do I come at that and attack that topic while at the same time, maybe talking about this other kind of tangential type of topic. So again, the point being is you interest, is that two way street, just because I’m interested in, it doesn’t necessarily mean that organizations or groups actually hire speakers to talk about that.
RV (07:41):
Yeah. I think that’s a, that’s a really great a really great point. Like we think of it as like we would call that positioning, right. So it’s just like, how do you position this in a way that it is what you do, but in a way that it was hireable by, by somebody else? I think that’s, I think that’s great. Okay. So then, so now you pick your topic, your pop problem, right? Okay. So then what’s the P
GB (08:07):
Yeah. The P is to prepare your talk, prepare your talk, basically get really, really clear on what’s the solution that you are gonna be providing to this audience. Now, this can come in a lot of different ways, meaning that oftentimes when we think of speaking, we think of keynotes, we think of kind of this, this large stage type of environment. But as we both know, there’s a lot of different ways that speaking can look. So there are absolutely keynotes, there are workshops and breakouts and small small groups and large groups. And you may just do a, a one hour block. You may do a five day thing with 30, 30 people, and really go deep on a topic in this day and age, thanks to the pandemic. There’s massive amount of opportunities with virtual. So all that to say that, that whenever it comes to preparing your talk, it can look a lot of different ways.
GB (08:48):
And I think that’s also part of what makes the speaking industry interesting and unique is that there’s gonna be some people who are listening and watching like, Hey, I would, I would love, love to do 50, 75, a hundred speaking gigs a year. And other people are like, that’s totally unappealing, but I would love to do five or 10. And I just don’t know, how do I find those five? Or how do I find those 10? And what do I speak about how much do I charge and how did this work? And so it can look a lot of different ways depending on what it is that you are trying to accomplish. But again, the P there is to prepare your talk, prepare that solution to the problem that you’re solving.
RV (09:18):
Okay. So let’s assume that you’ve got those, which is a giant assumption. Those are both very, absolutely very difficult things. Now, now you have your product to sell what happens next.
GB (09:29):
Yeah. So the E is to establish yourself as the expert. And so there are two key marketing assets that every speaker needs. Number one is you need a website. And number two is you need a demo video. So in this day and age, if you don’t have a website, you don’t exist. It’s hard for people to take you seriously. A demo video is one of those things that also feels a little bit fuzzy to people’s like, what exactly does that mean? I’ve heard that a sizzle reel, that sort of thing. What do I put in it? You know, what doesn’t need to be in it. So think of it kind like a movie trailer, the point of a movie trailer, as you take like a, a two hour movie, you’ll boil it down to two or three minutes. And within those two or three minutes, you have an idea of who’s in it.
GB (10:04):
What’s the plot, what’s the theme. What’s the genre. And the point of a demo video and the point of a movie trailer is to make you want to see more. So you wanna think about it in this way. If I’m an event planner, if I’m a decision maker, I am in the risk mitigation business, meaning that if I hire you Roy, to get up on my stage and I hand you a microphone, and I’m asking you to talk to my thousand attendees at that audience, anything you say can and will be used against me. So I need you. I need to make sure that you make me look good. And again, you and I have both had that experience before where
RV (10:34):
You and don’t make me look bad. Like the absolutely the number one objective is to not suck. like,
GB (10:42):
If
RV (10:42):
You that’s true, you are not terrible. You’re, you’ve got a long way for that meeting planner.
GB (10:47):
Right? And so whenever they’re making that decision, oftentimes they are putting their neck on the line. They’re putting their butt on the line by hiring you and going to bat for you. No, no, we need to have the speaker trust me. And so they don’t need to see necessarily like a, an entire video or an entire full length presentation of your talk. They just need to see a few minutes of it in the same way that there’s a lot of movies that may be amazing movies that neither you or I have seen just cuz like I solved two minutes of the trailer and I just knew like that wasn’t my cup of tea. It’s not what I’m looking for. Maybe it’s an amazing movie, just not what I’m looking for. And so that’s for, for an event planner for a decision maker, they need to see a couple of minutes there of your presentation, especially if they’re going to pay you. But especially as you are growing in your, in your speaking business and wanting to share that message with, with bigger audiences and some higher profile stages, that demo video becomes more and more important.
RV (11:36):
So are most of the demos that you’re seeing and, and you’re using. And are, are they, are you saying they, most of them are two to three minutes.
GB (11:45):
Yeah. I recommend like short, less is more. You’re doing shorter
RV (11:48):
Ones.
GB (11:48):
You can, yeah, you can absolutely have you know, a longer video, a 10 minute video, a 15 minute video. But you think about from again from an event planner decision maker standpoint, whenever they are considering hiring you as a speaker, they’re not just looking at you, they’re looking at you and five or six, seven other speakers. And so they don’t have time to go through 30 minutes of video per speaker trying to determine whether or not it’s a fit. So they’re going to look at the initial kind of two or three minutes there and then they’re gonna probably whittle it down to two or three, maybe have a committee or board meeting to kind of determine who might be a good fit. And then maybe they wanna watch, you know, 10 or 15 minutes, but also think about it from the perspective of anybody watching any video.
GB (12:25):
Right? Anytime like someone just think about like a, a friend or a family member send you a video. Oh, I just saw this. This is hilarious. You gotta check this out. The first thing any of us do when we click on that link is we look to the lower left corner and look at the timestamp to see how long it is. If it’s more than a couple of minutes, like that’s an eternity in online video land ain. Nobody got time for that. So you wanna keep your video short, keep your video concise. So yeah, I think two, three, maybe four minutes is, is plenty to really convey what you need to, what you need to show to an event planner or decision maker.
RV (12:55):
Okay. All right. So demo video short to the like give them a sense of a taste of what it’s like to have you. And that’s what you’re saying between that and your website. You’re establishing yourself as the expert, which is the E
GB (13:07):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there’s a, there’s plenty of things that you could do, but as far as getting, going and getting your foot in the door with decision makers and event planners, those are two of the key tools that you really need.
RV (13:18):
And what about start looking, let me ask you specifically about the you know, like in the old speaker days they used to, it used to be the one sheet and it was like, you have to have this one page, you know, sheet on your talk and who you are. Do you still recommend that? Do you still see that being in use? Like, are you finding that that’s not really necessary anymore?
GB (13:37):
Yeah, I think personally I think it’s less and less necessary or relevant because I think that’s essentially what your website is. And so one thing that’s important for any speaker to think about is, and I’d say maybe personal brand is, I know for me, when I got started, all I was trying to do was book gigs, book, gigs, bookcases book, that’s all I wanted to do. So I wasn’t worried about, you know, being a podcast or being an author or doing a course or any number of other things. Like all I wanted to do was book gigs. And so my website was specifically designed around that. Whereas again, one of the nice things with speaking is that it it’s, it can be fairly flexible. There’s some people that wanted 100% of their business is speaking. And some people, 5% of their business is speaking.
GB (14:15):
It’s not, it’s not, not that one’s better, worse than the other, but you gotta be really clear for yourself on how that kind of fits in. Meaning maybe you’re just trying to book a couple gigs and speaking’s a very small percentage of your business. Then you want your website to reflect that. And so maybe it’s not on, on the homepage or it’s not kind of a priority thing. Maybe it is more of a secondary thing on a secondary page. That’s totally fine. But oftentimes what the, the primary goal is for you as a speaker needs to be reflected in your marketing assets.
RV (14:43):
Okay. All right. A,
GB (14:46):
Hey acquire, paid speaking gigs. Now this is the part that, again, that we wanna, we wanna fast forward to, but again, I think this is also a good chance to kind of stop step back, look here of going, okay. I wanna fast forward to this, but again, if you don’t have these other foundational pieces of place, it’s
RV (15:01):
A breakdown.
GB (15:01):
It’s really hard to book gigs. If, if you’re just gonna like, yeah, man, just tell me how to book gigs. Like, okay, well, who do you speak to? What problem do you solve? I don’t know. I’ll speak to one, whatever. How do I book gigs like that?
RV (15:09):
Well, and not only that, what I would say grant is it’s also not only is it difficult to book gigs, it actually works against you because you go to a speaker’s bureau or you go to an A-list client and you don’t have your stuff together. You might get one shot. I mean, I talk about this with podcast all the time. Like people come to me, can you introduce me to ed? My luck? Can you introduce me to Lewis house? Can you introduce me to a publisher? And I’m telling, and I’m going, I will do it when you are ready and promise. I promise you, you don’t want me to go too early, cuz they’re gonna give you one look. And if you don’t make it through the gate, the next time you come around, they’re gonna go. And I already saw them I’ll pass. Right? So it’s like, you gotta, when you get the shot, you gotta have your stuff dialed in and be ready. Otherwise it works against you to be there too early.
GB (15:55):
Yeah, absolutely. And, and so and in fact we were just talking a little bit before we started recording here about the the NSA convention. It was a national speakers association or national convention happened to be this year in our backyard here in the national area. But at the, at the event I was catching up with a speaker friend of mine that has done very, very well. And he was wanting to get in with a bureau. I’m, I’m good friends with a a bureau here in town that I think you do some work with as well. And so I was talking with the, the president of that bureau and, and I was talking with this other speaker and I said, Hey, do you want me to make an introduction? Me knowing that this guy’s ready and he could, he could absolutely connect with him, made the introduction, they hit it off.
GB (16:33):
They continued to keep in touch. And I think they’re gonna start doing some work together. But again, the point being is I think especially early on speakers are going, like, how do I get in with a bureau? How do I get in with the agent? And it’s kind of this catch 22, where, where that if you’re not already consistently booking gigs, especially at a decent fee, then bureaus, aren’t gonna be interested in you. And typically once you get going and you build some momentum and you’re doing a lot of gigs then you don’t necessarily need a bureau or an agent. And so one of the best things that you can do whenever it comes to acquiring paid speaking gigs is learn how to do this on your own, rather than being dependent on some other group or organization. That’s just going to do that.
GB (17:11):
So it there this, and far as booking gigs, I think it’s, it’s easy to kind of create some type of mystique around it. Like there’s some like secret code that you have to have to be able to connect with people, but it, it’s not. It’s a matter of having a system and a process to consistently reach out, to follow up with decision makers and event planner. So if I reach out to an event planner, who’s working on a conference and you know, next spring, I’m not trying to convince them that they already that they need to have a speaker. They’re already planning on having a speaker. I’m just showing them why I may be a good for, for that event. So so having a, a system and a process to reach out to events, to follow up with events, not just say, Hey, I, you know, I have my website, I have my demo video, and now I’m gonna sit back and I’m wait for the phone to ring, or I’m gonna post some such some stuff on social media, or I’m going to post some create a podcast or I’m gonna post some YouTube videos.
GB (18:01):
And then I’m going to reactively. Hopefully people magically find me like that. Doesn’t work. Speaking is very much a momentum business. And so there’s a a, a, a friend of mine in the, the speaking space who always says, the more you speak, the more you speak and whenever you speak, it does tend to lead to some of these organic opportunities of repeat business of word, of mouth, of referrals, amongst other speakers or event planners, or attendees that are in the audience. But you have to start to plant some seeds to in terms of booking gigs, instead of again, just building a website and hoping that people magically find out about you.
RV (18:36):
So this is effectively sales. You have to identify some prospects, you have to contact them, whether it’s by, by phone or by email or by referral introduction or they see you, or they see you somewhere. But like you have to reach out to them, tell ’em about your product or service, and then follow up with them to help them make a decision. I mean, that, is that what you’re saying? There’s not like a secret
GB (19:00):
A thousand percent. Yeah, absolutely. I, I don’t think there is necessarily some, some magical secret. It it’s stuff that that absolutely works. It’s worked for years and years and years. It’s just one of those things that most speakers don’t enjoy or most speakers don’t want to do. Like, yeah, I just wanna, I just wanna stand on stage. I don’t really wanna do sales. I don’t really wanna do marketing. I don’t really want to talk about myself. I, I get that. We all understand that, but like that’s part of the business. There reminds me a lot of there’s a book emo by Michael Gerber and he talks about the difference between huge, the illustration of someone who is an entrepreneur who owns a bakery. And he talks about the difference between being a good baker and running a bakery. And those are two different skill sets.
GB (19:41):
Meaning maybe you make the best breads or cupcakes or cakes or whatever it may be. You’re an amazing baker, but being a great baker, that’s not automatically translate to you being running a great bakery. And the same thing is true with speakers. There are so many speakers that are amazing on stage. They have phenomenal content, but a big part of being a successful speaker is the sales is the marketing is following up, is being amazing off stage, which has little to, nothing to do with how you present on stage. And so you have to recognize that that a big part of being a speaker has nothing to do with you being on stage giving a good message. Does that matter? Absolutely. That stuff is super important, but a big, I would say a bigger part of being successful as a speaker is what happens off stage in terms of the sales and marketing efforts that you put in.
RV (20:28):
You mentioned social media, how much does social media just getting your honest opinion here in assessment of speaking fees, getting the gigs, you know, how much does social media play into this? Is it, is that how you get gigs? Does it matter with your fee? Is it completely irrelevant? Is it, you know, all that matters? Like, just give, give me your, your opinion on that.
GB (20:52):
Yeah. My 2 cents would be I think it depends on the event planner and it depends on the industry and kind of what their, their criteria are. Okay. So lemme give an example. So there are some event planners, some decision makers who are gonna put a lot of stock into what someone’s online, social media clout, and platform is going to look like, right? In some cases that’s gonna be a big deal, other event planners, depending on the nature of what it is that they are looking for, may not care about that at all in the same way that some event planners may be looking for a speaker who has, you know, some a significant accomplishment or achievement that the audience is gonna recognize. Maybe they, you know, won a gold medal. They played in the NBA, they play some type of professional sport.
GB (21:36):
They have climbed Mount Everest blindfolded in their shorts. You know, they, there’s some type of specific thing that they’re looking for. And so it kind of depends on the event. And so for me personally, I don’t, I don’t put a ton of stock in social media. And again, that’s just kind of me personally, does that help or hurt me? I’m sure. In some cases it, it does hurt and that in some cases it doesn’t matter. And so it’s kind of, you know, we were talking a little bit about this before we started recording of as entrepreneurs. There’s a thousand different things that you could do in your business that move the needle, right. And as an entrepreneur, you can’t do them all. And so you have to kind of determine and prioritize. What’s going to have the biggest impact in your business.
GB (22:19):
So let me give you a quick illustration of this. I remember several years ago my wife and I were interested in doing some real estate investing, didn’t know a ton about it was kind of intrigued by, it reached out to a friend who had done a, a ton of real estate. Investing, knew all about it. And I said, Hey, man, I’m, I’m just getting into this world. I’m trying to learn here. And I said I said, you have all these different types of real estate investing. Okay. You have single family homes and, and multi-family homes and apartments and mobile home parks and raw land and commercial properties. And short-term rental Airbnb on and on and on the list goes, and then I said, which one is best? And he said, yes. And I was like, that’s not helpful. And I was like, what do you mean by that?
GB (22:56):
And he’s like, they all work. What you won’t find though, is you won’t find someone who’s doing everything. And so we can both point to a speaker right now who’s killing it, using Instagram or a podcast or Facebook or Twitter or social media and someone else who’s absolutely killing it. Who’s not touching any of those things. So it’s not necessarily that you have to do one or that you have to do the other, but ultimately I think determining for you for what it is you’re trying to accomplish based on the in addition to the industry that you’re in which you’re speaking on and determining if that’s something that, that is a big part of what it is that you’re trying to do and, and build.
RV (23:31):
Yeah. Interesting. All right. So we have to acquire the gig. We’ve got everything put to place. We gotta go find these people. We gotta follow up with them, reach out to them, follow up with them. What’s the K
GB (23:43):
K is no when to scale, no, when to scale. And what we mean by that is people who are interested in speaking are also probably interested in a lot of other things. They also probably want to do coaching or consulting or write a book or do a podcast, or do a course. And so you can do any number of things, but you can’t do all the things at once. So something’s gonna come first. Something’s gonna come last. And this is where I think you do such a great job of teaching. How does speaking fit into the mix of the, in of the bigger pie and what it is that you’re going to accomplish? Cause like we touched on, there are speakers who do five gigs a year and speakers that do 50 gigs a year. And it’s not that one’s better, worse than the other, but you’ve gotta determine for yourself where does speaking fit into the mix of what it is that you are trying to accomplish?
GB (24:21):
So again, just realizing like you, you can’t do it all. And, and but being clear on, Hey, this is how speaking fits in, or this is how speaking is a, a driver for other parts of my business. So let me give you a quick example of this. There’s a, a client that we worked with a while back and they were doing they were doing 20 or 30 speaking gigs a year, but they were doing it as lead generation for their coaching business. And so they would do a lot of free speaking engagements, but for the right type of audience and they were generating literally hundreds of thousands of, of dollars in revenue for their coaching business. But the whole thing was built upon the Legion that they were getting from these speaking engagements that they were doing. So again, the point being is, is for them, it made sense to do a lot of free engagements, but for the right type of audience, cuz that’s what was building their coaching business. Whereas for someone else, like it may, may not make sense to do as many free gigs. And so again, just determining like how does speaking best fit into the mix of what you want to accomplish?
RV (25:19):
Mm-Hmm yeah. I love it. So coming back to acquiring the gig, are you basically just looking up a company name and, you know, calling them up and saying who plans your events and, and just trying to get to that person or like, is there more, is there more to it than that? Or do you think like that’s basically what the game that, that side of the business is, is just identifying companies and organizations that have speakers and just getting to the person and then sending them your demo video
GB (25:53):
Yeah. At a simplified version. Yeah. There, there’s certainly a large element of that, of, of identifying potential decision makers, event planners, reaching out to them. Some of it is to your point of figuring out who actually is the decision maker. So you know, just because you, you know, just because someone is a, a VP of whatever doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re the ones that are, are ultimately pulling the trigger. Another thing to think through and be aware of when you’re reaching out to people is what’s the timeline for when they are making decisions about speakers. So for example, if we’re recording this right now and in the summer and you come across an amazing event, that’s happening next month there’s a high likelihood they’ve already picked their speaker for. So reaching out and saying like, Hey, I saw this event that’s happening next month.
GB (26:36):
You should totally hire me. It’s like, no, no, like you already missed the boat on that. So another thing that we always work with speakers on is to really have a long term perspective on this, that you are in the relationship of building business. And the reality is that relationships take time. I think, think of one particular event where I, I reached out to for five straight years with this event planner and just following up, Hey, we booked another speaker. Oh, that’s cool. Remind me what you’ll start. It looks like you’ll start reviewing speakers again for next year’s event, you know, in a couple of months. Awesome. Is it okay if I follow up with you then, and then following up with them then did that for five straight years. And I don’t know if eventually they just ran into options, but eventually they, they hired me.
GB (27:15):
But I think again, having a, a, a long term perspective on this to reach out, to follow up so often what happens is if you reach out to an event planner decision maker and, and, and they say, well, we’re not looking for speakers right now, but feel free to check back with us in four months. They don’t expect you to follow up with them. They don’t expect you to reach out. And the, the reality is, is like most speakers don’t and most speakers are just kinda leave the ball in their court of just saying like, well, Hey, if you know, if you ever need a speaker, I hope you think of me like that just doesn’t work. If they say, Hey, we’re gonna start reviewing speakers in November, then you would say, Hey, is it okay if I follow up with you in November?
GB (27:49):
And they’re gonna say, absolutely, and then have a system in place, whether that’s a CRM or, or post-it note or whatever you need to do, have a system or process in place that you’re going to follow up with them in December. And there’s a lot more we could, you know, dig into or in November a lot more. We can dig into exactly what to do exactly what to say there, but again, having systems in place to reach out, to, to follow up with people so that whenever they’re ready to make a decision that ultimately they’re thinking of and, and deciding on you,
RV (28:14):
Mm-Hmm last. So last little question here, cause this comes up a lot, right. Is how do I has, how do I set my fee? And like, you know, what, how do you come out of the gate and know where to set your fee? What are the criteria you think of? Cuz you hear of people getting, you know, Donald Trump get a million dollars to speak on stage. And then, you know, some people say, oh, I got paid $20,000, but they got it one time. And you know, and like what, what are some of the general things that you sort of think about when you go, all right, when you’re putting your, your feed together, think about it this way.
GB (28:52):
All right. I’ll give you a bunch of different answers on this. And so first of all, lemme give you a shortcut answer. So we have a, a free speaking fee calculator. So if you wanna check that out, it’s over at my speaker, feed.com, my speaker feed.com. It’s totally free, but you basically just answer a couple multiple choice questions. There it’ll spit out a number of what you could be charging there. And, and Roy, as you well know, speaking fees are much more of an art than a science. There’s a lot of variables that go into it. I’ll give you a couple of variables. One is gonna be your industry. You can charge more in some industries versus others. You can charge more speaking to corporations than you can to nonprofits. Typically you can charge more to colleges than you could to elementary schools.
GB (29:26):
It’s not that one industry is better worse than the other, that each pond kind of has its own kind of different fee ranges that they’re used to another factor of variable is gonna be your marketing assets. So we talked about your website, your demo video earlier, whether we like it or not, whether we want admit it or not people judge books by their cover. And so if you are a, you know, let’s say you’re a 10,000, $20,000 speaker and your website, your demo video don’t look sharp. They don’t look professional. And specifically they don’t look on par relative to other speakers who are in that same range. Then an event planner may be looking at or deciding between it’s hard to take you seriously. So it doesn’t mean that you need to have spent tens of thousands of dollars on your marketing assets.
GB (30:04):
You just need to make sure that they look sharp and professional. Another variable is just going to be your your speaking experience, meaning if you’re a brand new speaker, just getting started and you’re just kind of getting your at bats, getting your reps there. You probably won’t be able to charge as much as someone who’s been doing this for five, 10, maybe 20 years. And it’s probably just a better speaker. The way that you get better as a speaker is that you speak, it’s the same way that you get better as a writer, as a podcaster, as you do the thing. And so you and I happen to be decent at speaking, not because we have anything, any special gift or ability, but because we’ve given hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of presentations and all different environments and settings and some that have gone incredibly well and some that have been a complete disaster, but the each time you speak, you’re getting that real time feedback from the audience that helps you to refine your message and your presentation skills.
GB (30:50):
So those would be a couple of the different variables that go into your speaking fee. And let me piggyback and, and kind of answer another kind of similar question there, which is is it okay to speak for free or speaking for free a bad thing? And I think oftentimes that that speaking for free has like this negative connotation that if you are speaking for free, you’re not a real speaker or people aren’t gonna take you seriously. And so what I would say is it’s okay to speak for free caveat, as long as you know why you’re doing it, don’t just do it out of the goodness of your heart. You are running a business and you have to treat this as a business. And so one of the things I heard early on actually from a mutual friend, Jason Dorsey, he said, when you’re speaking for free, you’re providing something of value.
GB (31:33):
And so you need to receive something of value in exchange. And that thing that you receive in exchange may or may not be in the form of a check. So there’s a lot of different ways that you could receive value that may not come in the form of currency. Okay. So it may be, for example, let’s say that you go speak at something. And I mentioned this client earlier, who does a lot of coaching. And so, you know, if you go speak and you have some type of backend book or product or service or coaching or consulting thing that you offer, you go speak at the right type of audience and it generates significant sales on the back end. Speaking for free may make a ton of sense for you. Maybe it makes sense to speak for free. If you know that this is gonna get my foot in the door with this client, and it’s going to potentially lead to a bunch of other events.
GB (32:15):
I remember a few years ago, I was speaking in an event and I took a, a slightly lower fee, but I, I made an arrangement with the decision maker and said, Hey, assuming I’d do a good job. And the whole thing’s predicated on me showing up and delivering doing my part. Then I want you to introduce me to five other event planners that you think would be a good fit that you and I both agree I would be a good fit for. And if you can make an endorsement recommendation and a personal introduction to them, to that decision maker, it means nothing. It costs them nothing, but to me it’s worth something. So another quick example would be a friend of mine spoke was invited to speak at something in Europe a couple years ago, and he doesn’t do a ton of speaking.
GB (32:53):
So we were kind of talking through speaking fees and I said, Hey, here’s, here’s one thing you could do is you can negotiate to have them also fly your spouse over your wife over and extend the stay for you at the, at the place where they’re gonna be doing the event. You can turn it into a European vacation on their dime. So again, the point being is there’s a lot of different ways that you can receive something of value that may or may not involve a whether or not you got paid and got a check for it.
RV (33:18):
Mm-Hmm yeah, man, I love it. What a great business this is such, I, I, I think this is just the coolest business and it’s so much fun to impact lives and it’s like a game and, you know, you get to just get better and better at it and everything. So y’all if you go to brand builders, group.com forward slash grant Baldwin, brand builders, group.com/grant Baldwin, Grant’s always doing, he’s always doing stuff for free. He’s got lots of free trainings and tools and stuff. And you know, I just, like I said, I’ve known him for years. So check, hit that link, check out his free trainings. You can conduct with him online. We’ll link up to him and everything in the show notes, but grant, thank you so much for this brother. And I just, I love a lot of this wisdom and just the practical nature of what you’re doing. And so I appreciate your time, man. And as always, we wish you the best.
GB (34:10):
Thanks buddy. I appreciate it.

Ep 312: Creating Videos That Go Viral with Travis Blakely and Teun van der Lugt

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:53):
Hey, all this is AJ Vaden. Welcome to the influential personal brand podcast. I am one of your co-hosts here today, and I’ve got two friends on the podcast today, which is not normal. We usually don’t get two. So double the fun for the next 45 minutes, get excited. But these are actually two newer friends of mine. Met them through a really good friend of mine Carrie, Jack, but then we learned through conversations that, wow, we actually have a lot of friends in common. And in fact, Tony and Travis have done work with some of people that we’re super connected to like, like Louis House and lots of different shared connections along the way. And I love, I love what they’re doing. And I actually started following Travis on social media. You guys will get to hear from both Travis and Tony in just a second.
AJV (01:46):
But I really got interested because of his like motivational inspirational messages. And then I came to learn like, oh, they actually help videos go viral. And when I first started fol, I didn’t know, that’s what they did. I just really liked his vibe. And I thought what he was doing was really cool. And then we had mutual friends and then I started like stalking their website and going through all their different things. And I’m like, wow, you guys have had some amazing clients like prince CA and Louis House and Tom Billue and some like really Jay Shetty, some like really amazing clients that you’ve done work with. And so, so glad that we got connected and we’ve got like this unique, common set of friends that we didn’t even know existed. And so I invited them to come on the show today and here are two reasons that you wanna stick around is one.
AJV (02:37):
I know that 99% of you who are listening would like to know, is there some sort of secret formula and how to make a video go viral? And I’m not saying that Travis and Tony have the answer to this secret formula, but they might, you have to stick around to find out. And the second second reason is because video is king, right? Video is where it’s at. There is so much power in video. I have my own beliefs of why that is. There’s a human connection part. But there is also some really good dos and don’ts of how to do video successfully. And we’re gonna talk about some of those two and in between, we’re gonna get to learn about two really awesome human beings who have incredible backgrounds and who have worked for incredible individuals and companies and have outstanding work. So without further ado, both of you welcome to the show.
TB (03:29):
Thank you. Is a massive pleasure.
TV (03:34):
Yes. Thank you for having us.
AJV (03:36):
Oh my gosh. It’s gonna be so fun. And Tony is is his morning. It’s our afternoon. Yeah. And so you’re in Amsterdam, right?
TV (03:45):
No, right now I’m in, I’m in Tokyo right now. Oh, you’re
AJV (03:47):
In Tokyo.
TV (03:47):
yeah. Outta Tokyo world.
AJV (03:50):
I’m pretty sure you’re not in Tokyo. You’re you’re, you’re traveling the globe. Alright, so I’m gonna give both of you guys a separate chance. So I’m gonna start with Tony. So, you know, you’ve done some pretty cool work and you know, a company that you know is so funny. I was talking to my husband about this and he goes, I’m sorry, he he’s done video work for, for who? For mine valley and he totally geeked out. And he was like, tell me more, tell me more, tell me more. So give us a little bit of your story. Like, how did you get to where you are today, doing all of this really cool video work for all these cool companies and people.
TV (04:27):
Right. that’s so, that’s so nice to hear that that he recognized it basically mind really? Yeah, because like that’s actually the company mindly that gave me my, my start let’s say, in this business I was already making videos as a, as a video creator back background from, in the Netherlands from Amsterdam. But I didn’t really have any direction, you know, like I, I was just making videos, like music videos for, for, for a couple of local artists mini documentaries, but all of that, like even though I liked it, I knew like, I, there’s not really a career path in it and this, this was already like let’s say eight, nine years ago. And in which video was, was getting big, but it’s not as big as it is right now where people actually see the real benefit from it back then.
TV (05:19):
Youtube was definitely out there. Facebook was definitely out there, but I don’t think a lot of people saw that there’s a big connection between business and social media. Back then it was just, Hey, let’s, it’s cool. Let’s make a post, a video on social media and see what happens. So I didn’t see any direction. And then, then I already like I love to travel. I wanted to leave my own country and but at the same time oh, how old was I then back 24, something like that. I kind of had in my mind, also a bit of a social pressure that you need to find a bit of a career path at one point. So that’s what I was hoping to find something that combined boat like somewhere I could like, you know, leave my country and yeah, find a career basically.
TV (06:04):
And that’s, I don’t, I don’t really don’t know. That was just, I think just a random YouTube video that that, that saw that, which I saw mind value as a company. And I just really wanted to work there. I don’t know. It was just the whole vibe that they portrayed, like the, the, the personal development, which I was really into the mission that they have of changing education which, which I still firmly stand behind as well. Like because like yet, like school, wasn’t the best for me, for me either, maybe for a lot of people. So I really believed everything they say. So I just really wanted to work there. It didn’t even matter if I needed to do video or something else. I just really wanted to work there. So yeah, I, I applied I didn’t get into the film team because like, they, they have a whole separate film team, but cuz I was not experienced enough, but so I joined the customer support team, but then within two months they, they saw Tony, we need you in the film team actually.
TV (06:57):
So I’m like, oh, okay, cool. Let’s, let’s get, let’s get going. And that’s how, that’s how I got there that so cool. Yeah, so, so I really went for, like, I worked there for three, for three years. I would say I learned like everything that I needed to learn about video in this space. You know, when it comes to marketing videos, product launches event videos and most importantly social media videos and yeah, that’s and after three years I thought it’s time to go on my own, quit mind valley on very good terms and moved to Bali because mind valley itself is based in GU Lumpur. So Bali wasn’t so far around the corner from there moved there and I really don’t know how to this day, but on some random day Travis sent me a message on Instagram and I have a following like I mean back then, like it was even like a thousand, so I have no clue where that came from and , that’s, that’s kind of how we started connecting.
AJV (07:58):
Oh my gosh. I think there’s two really important things in there that I think is amazing. It’s in this era of the quote unquote great resignation that people talk about I love what Ariana Huffington says. She goes, it’s not the great resignation, it’s the great reevaluation of what are people wanting out of their work experience and to see that you found a company on YouTube yeah. Through a video and said I am for what they believe in. I don’t even care if I can’t do what I wanna do. I’ll do whatever they’ll take me for you do not hear a lot of that right now, especially from millennials. And I can say that because I am one too. but I think that’s really amazing. It’s the power of a good online presence, a good presence in general, a reputation of, you know, a clear understanding of what I stand for and who I’m trying to attract for someone who’s got this great video talent would go, I don’t even care if I don’t work in video.
AJV (08:55):
I just wanna work for this video. Yeah. I think that’s a great reminder to all of us that having a great presence online and offline really means a lot, not just for income and revenue and sales, but also for talent, attraction, talent, acquisition, and retention. Like that’s pretty cool to hear. And I think the second thing you said that I wanna highlight to everyone listening, cause I think this is substantial is that when Travis found you, however miraculous event occurred, that that happened, you had less than a thousand followers. So it ain’t about the followers. Y’all right. It’s not always about the followers. So don’t get obsessed with the follower, count thinking somehow what you’re doing doesn’t matter that it is just not true. It’s just not true. Yeah. yeah, so, so cool. Both of those things I love that. Okay. All right. Travis, tell us, I wanna know cuz like, for those of you who’t know, like Travis is the CEO of inter like media he and I have got these like awesome little like growing group of like mutual friends. So tell us like how, how did you get into this space? Like why start this type of, you know, viral video, social media, social media management company, like how’d you get into that? Like you also are doing your own personal brand, like why that like fill in?
TB (10:14):
Yeah. whew. Where did I start? I loving
AJV (10:17):
Question. Right.
TB (10:21):
So I come from St. Louis, Missouri. I grew up, you know, in children’s homes did had a very bleak future. Didn’t really have much to look forward to and didn’t really know what I wanted to do in my life. So as I got older I ran into a gentleman by the name of Princey, by the way I ran into him online. First I seen his video, he had a video called something about saving hip hop. I can’t remember the exact name of the, the video and this was back in like 2009. And it was a very similar thing to what Tony just said. I thought what prince was doing was super amazing. And at the time he was, you know, pretty local. He didn’t really have a whole lot of followers. And, but I believed in that mission, you know, he had something called make smart, cool, smart, being an acronym for sophisticated minds and revolutionizing thought.
TB (11:23):
So I thought that was a pretty powerful message that he created wanted to be a part of it. I, I felt like it was time for me to really dive into my mission. Ironically, this is, I was around the same age that Tony was talking. I was 25 years old at the time. And so as I looked more into it, me and him connected me and him developed a really close friendship. I mean, we were best friends for a very, very long time. And during that time period from 2010 to 2000, I met him in 2009, but from 2010 to 2014, we spent that time really trying to figure out how do we connect with people online, right. How do we go viral? Right. He always had this philosophy of why should I do a show in front of a thousand people when I could do a video and get it in front of a hundred thousand people.
TB (12:22):
So that always clicked in my mind that always let me know the power of video at that point. Like yo the, the, the online spaces where it’s at, because you could definitely connect with, with more minds that way. And so in 2014, kind of like the code was broken, right. Where we went from, you know, getting maybe a few hundred thousand views to maybe a million views to now a video getting over a hundred million views. And then every video after that was getting hundreds of millions of views is just like, wouldn’t stop. Like it was to the point where it’s like, yo, this is like crazy. Like what next? Right? , , it’s gonna break the internet. Right. You know, we was you know, and, and the thing is when you’re going through that time, that period of not knowing, because this is, you know, something that people often go through, you go through that period of time where you’re not sure if what you’re doing is working or it’s worth it.
TB (13:17):
We went through four years trying to figure this out. And there was a lot of doubt creeping up. A lot of times that we thought it just wasn’t gonna happen. But yeah, so, you know, eventually as you know, we were continually going viral, people were reaching out, you know you know, I, since I was, you know, one prince with Princey since the beginning, I was, I, I knew everything because I ran a social, I was part of the videos. I was part of the creation process. Like I literally did everything with them. So I, I knew what it took to build that audience, to build that community, what the creation process is like. And so when other people started reaching out people like, you know, Jay and Lewis and, and people like that, trying to figure out, Hey, listen, they kind of like want to, you know, create content and, and, and really kind of like go to the next level.
TB (14:11):
Me and Jay developed a friendship too as well, you know? And we started working together. You know, I ended up working with Lewis from there. I ended up working with Tom, Billy and a bunch of other people, because for me interlight media, the name of my company. It, it stems from that. We all have interlight, you know, we all have a fire inside of us. Right. I believe that everybody has a purpose and that we are, as we are living in our purpose, our purpose is helping to inspire someone else to live theirs. So I am taking my talents to help other people flesh out their stuff, create, build their community out reach as many people as possible. So their inspiration can meet as many people as possible, and their impact can reach as many as possible. And it just continues to have a compound effect. But yeah, so this has been a life long dream of mine. I am thankfully living my dream now. And it’s been quite a journey.
AJV (15:17):
Yeah. That’s so cool. I love, I love what you said too, is like about the name of the company inner light because there there’s this light within all of us. And I think too, it’s kind of like, what you do is it’s, it’s helping showcase the inner light. Right. And one of the best ways you can do that is on video. And just in social, you just, you’ve got more reach. And there’s, there’s one thing you said, but I wanna go back to it’s like, y’all were trying to figure this out for like four years. Yeah. Not four weeks, not four months, but four years. Yeah. And I think that’s significant because we all know that we live in a society of like, we want it, we want it right now. And you know, it’s, we often are talking to people in our community at brain builders group where they’ve been at, they’ve been working at building their brand for six months. And they’re just like, man, I’m just, we’re not, I’m not seeing the progress. And I’m like, mm-hmm, you better, better buckle up. Cause it might be like six more years, not six more months. Because that’s the reality of it. It’s like, it’s the consistency over time that really builds. And so I’m curious, like what, what kept y’all going during those four years of not giving up? Like, what was it that was like, I know we’re gonna figure it out. We just gotta keep going. Like, what was that like?
TB (16:36):
So two things prince always said something that, you know, was really it’s a really powerful thing you used to say, plan B is to make plan a work. Right. Mm-hmm and that was a really profound statement for me because it illuminated the idea that you have to be so sure of yourself. Mm-Hmm you have to know what you want to do, who you are. You gotta, you, you have to be in that to where, you know, what your mission is, regardless of what other people think, what other people say. And secondly you know, I have always had this belief that let me rephrase when I got older and I started realizing who I was, this belief came into me that if I’m not spending every waking day, trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life, if I’m not doing that, then I am not living my full purpose.
TB (17:46):
I am not living my true self. And so for me, I would rather spend every single day living my purpose or trying to fulfill what I am supposed to fulfill. What I know my purpose is than trying to do it for somebody else. Right. Than trying to just go along with the, get along right. Where you’re just like doing things to survive. And that’s not really my thing. I didn’t want do it for the money. I didn’t wanna do it for anything else. I really wanted to have an impact because I, I, I just genuinely have this belief that serving a million people is a much better pursuit of your gifts and talents than trying to get a million dollars. Because if you serve a million people more than likely, you’re gonna get a million dollars anyway. But even if you don’t the service and the act in itself is gonna be fulfilling for you. Oh yeah. So for me, I have always had this idea, especially coming from a very poverty background that once I was able to have that impact and serve people, that was gonna be my fulfillment. And I always had this idea that like getting the money was gonna be the byproduct anyway. But even if it wasn’t, I’m still gonna be happy. So,
AJV (19:06):
Oh, that’s so good. You know, we have this, you know, reminder for ourselves too. Like my husband, Roy Fain, and I who are business partners, as you guys know, it’s like, we have to constantly remind ourselves it’s about the power of the one, right? Not the 1000 or the a hundred thousand or the 1 million. It’s the power of the one. But because in reality, in real life, if I knew that I changed the life of one person, that would be good enough for me. But somehow we get online, we get on social media and if I only have one like, or one share, it feels like a failure. Yeah. But in real life. Yeah. If I knew that I’d changed the life of one person, it would all be worth it. Yeah. And then somehow online it gets devalued or minimized to what was just one like, and it’s like, well, that’s one person.
AJV (19:58):
Yeah. Right. It’s the power of the, one of trying not to look at the count so much trying and staying focused on the mission. Right. Staying focused on serving, like what you said is like, even if it doesn’t work, it’ll be fulfilling in the process. I love that. That’s so good. Y’all I’m so excited to have you guys on and just talk about this. And so so let’s do that. So for all these listeners out there who are building their personal brands, aspire to do these things and have their message heard right. By the one or the 1 million, whatever it may be. I would love to, I wanna hear from two different perspectives. Right. Cause I’m gonna guess that Tony, I could be wrong, but you prefer to perhaps be behind the scenes.
TV (20:41):
Both. Both ways. Yeah. Like I, I, I like to for sure, like, you know, like I lead a video editing team. I, I make my own, my own videos as well, video editing, but what you do really realize that a lot of these people we work with what I notice at least is that there is still like a gap between the knowledge of creating videos. And what I mean by that, like, everybody can make a video nowadays. That’s that, that’s amazing. You know, like I got an iPhone 13, like the camera on it is like amazing. Like I can create the best videos with that. So I, I encourage people to do that as well, but I, I fully understand that there’s still like a little barrier you need to overtake. And that’s actually like, you know, especially if you’re doing it by yourself, go into a room by yourself, turning it on by yourself, standing in front of the camera, by yourself and getting the energy out of yourself to actually say something. So that’s what I, like, I try to be on set. Like even, even it can be remotely just even just for like that direction, that like energy push. Oh, that’s all them basically. Yeah.
AJV (21:49):
That’s really, I’m important. I’m curious to hear the director mentality in you of going, like, what, what do people need to be doing to be more relatable, personable, engaging charismatic. Like, what are some of the tips that people need to be doing to be better on video? Yeah,
TV (22:10):
Well, like, honestly, I, I think like, especially when, when you’re really starting out the first thing people do and I totally understand it is compare. Like they compare right from the start like, oh, Hey let’s say prince or Jay. I really like what they’re doing. I wanna do that. And they, they then, and then they come to me, like they come forever say, can you, can you make that like, and on my end, as a creation, I’ll always say yes. Yeah, for sure we can do that. There’s no problem. But I think there’s, there’s still a difference in us making a, a crazy edit, like that can go far out of nothing. Yeah. And actually the quality that we’re getting, cuz like we, we, we fail to understand like prince CA or J she Lewis house. These people have been in front of the camera for like years.
TV (22:56):
I would say there’s, there’s just a lot of experience in there that you can’t get out of in like your first take. There’s no way there’s no way which is totally fine. So that’s something that, that you should need to grow into. But the second thing, like it may sound stupid. I really prefer then when people start to go on camera, they really need to loosen up. They really need to loosen up. So that’s why I prefer to be there. So when I’m gonna be on set remotely or in person, I just, you know, like we start making jokes a bit. sometimes I tell people, you know, do, why don’t you do 10 pushups? You know, get your, your energy a bit flowing
AJV (23:35):
10 pushups or 10 shots of either one. They go,
TV (23:39):
Yeah, 10 shots of the
AJV (23:39):
Kilo, like whatever works,
TV (23:41):
Get something
AJV (23:42):

TV (23:42):
Exactly. Exactly. And when it to scripting, like a script is very important, but at the same time, you know, I, I would say like the best, best process for me would always be like, make a script, put it in bullet points and learn that. So you can say it in your own voice. Like if you’re gonna rehearse the exact thing that you wrote down, not saying it’s not possible for sure. It’s possible, but like the greatest, like I’ve met some of the greatest creators. They, they really just read off a script, but it’s hard to get your personality out of a script, especially if you haven’t even read renew yourself. So that’s why the bullet points are so yeah. And, and just get loose, you know, just, you know, make a bit of fun, jump a bit around and don’t worry about the edit. Like in, in the edit we can do everything.
AJV (24:26):
Yeah. You know, it’s interesting because I think, I think that’s a huge part of even like what we see with even people on our team. Like we do this, this doesn’t mean it’s, it’s easy, but there’s some people on our team who are super adverse to video and it’s like, there’s super charismatic, engage human, engage, engaging humans. And then as soon as that red light goes on, they’re like, you’re in the headlight. And I’m like, who are you? And where did you go? Like what, what just happened to our friend? What just happened? And it’s a bizarre thing. And what I have found is that, you know, there’s two things. One is that they are literally trying to remember their script and it’s, you know, one of the things I have to constantly remind myself, it’s like, this is my content. I don’t need a script.
AJV (25:11):
Yeah. I just need to be myself. Why am I scripting out my own content? And it’s because I’m, don’t feel confident, right? It’s not the content it’s like, I’m worried about, does my hair have strays? Like, does my face look fat? Do I have a double chin right now? It’s like, it’s all these little things that we get obsessed with. And we forget, and this is like, my husband tells me this all the time. He goes, if you’re focused on you, that’s why you’re nervous. And he goes, anytime you’re nervous, it’s because you’re focused on yourself. But when you’re focused on others, it’s hard to be nervous. And so we have this little saying in our company, is that when you’re focused on service, it’s hard to be nervous. Mm-Hmm , it’s like, anytime that I’m focused on myself, mm-hmm, like, that’s, it’s like, so it’s, it’s a great reminder to me. If I’m feeling nervous is because I’m, I’m obsessing of how am I gonna look? How am I gonna sound? Exactly. And I’m not focused on my audience, which is who, who needs to hear this today? Like who needs.
TV (26:12):
Yeah. And I think, I think it’s a good point that you touched as well when, when it comes comes to, to, to those things. Like one, like, I think like, again, people really under underestimate, like, I mean, you have to have a good edit there, I reckon. And here we are, but , but there’s so much the tough you can do in the edit. So a lot of people even, oh, when they start, they say, oh, I just made a mistake. Do we have to start all over again? All these simple things, everything can be like, a lot of things can be done in edit, but then I, but like, like you said, when it comes to scripting, like, it’s you ask yourself? Why, why do you script everything and write, and then rehearse everything. I totally agree with that at the same time though. Like I think it is very important to at least get like direction on paper. Cause a lot of people also with people that start out, they, you know, like, and they are come, come from in front of the camera, they have that. And then if you’re like, oh, everything is in my mind. I just need to say it. Yeah. Yeah. But the difference with the video is you don’t have direct feedback, you know, to say your, your piece in 10 minutes that’s
AJV (27:12):
Oh yeah. And it’s like, then you’re talking about 15 things that make no sense.
TV (27:16):
Yeah, exactly. There’s no direction that’s going
AJV (27:18):
Fully aware of these, these videos. Yeah. That’s, that’s super, I think that’s super helpful is like you gotta bullet point out what you have to say, but keep it bullet points, not scripted. And it’s like, then you gotta figure out what’s gonna loosen you up. So play music, do pushups, take tequila shots, like whatever it is, like do what you gotta do to get yourself in a place where you’re not obsessing of what you look like on camera. Now Travis, you’re someone who’s in front of a camera a ton. So I’m curious to hear from you, not only from you yourself, but from working with all these pretty influential individuals who have built really big followings over the years, like, what would you say are the keys to a video? Getting a lot of traction,
TB (28:05):
Getting a lot of traction. That’s a good question. When something is important to you, it’s usually important to somebody else. Hmm. I think probably the most fundamental thing to, to go viral or to make a video that’s meaningful and impactful is don’t base it off information base it off your feelings, meaning like carry that feeling into the video. How do you want somebody to feel right? That is what is gonna get people moving that’s what’s gonna get people to share is the feeling. Obviously you want to talk from a very, I’m a very data driven person, very factual. In fact, if you watch Prince’s video almost in every video, he’s, you know, listening out facts, but it’s more like a, a, he he’s using it. Right. it doesn’t carry the weight. Right? The weight is the feeling. How do you get people to feel a certain type of way?
TB (29:08):
Right? What are the things to say, right. Albert Einstein says, if you can’t explain this simply, you don’t understand it. Mm. So whenever you know, we are going into a video process, it’s about how do we explain this simply in a way that everybody can understand it, but we’re talking about something in a way that people understand that we care about it. Right. so that’s like, like kind of like the key and you carry that in each video. So for example, whenever he makes a video and this is something, you know, I run into when I’m talking to a lot of different entrepreneurs or people that’s making videos is, you know, sometimes I just kind of like wanna create content. It’s like, no, no, no. Every piece of content that you create should be the B like this is the best video you can create right now.
TB (29:55):
Mm-Hmm, like, what’s the best video you can create right now. Every single time you put it out, this is how, this is the difference between somebody that actually is making meaningful content stuff. That’s gonna actually connect, you know, that authenticity that people say mm-hmm and that feeling is gonna carry out into it. And as long as you remain consistent, that’s gonna be how your community’s built, because when you’re authentic to yourself and, and it’s coming from that, that deep place, then it’s never gonna really be, you can’t really copy somebody else because it’s come. You can only do what is meaningful for you. Like, even if you’re talking about similar topics, you’re gonna speak about it in a way that’s different from somebody else you’re gonna different. Emotional points is gonna be hit, hit for you that it’s not gonna hit somebody else. And so therefore your community is gonna resonate with that. So, yeah.
AJV (30:52):
Oh, that’s so good. I love that. You gotta focus on the feeling yeah. That you want people to feel. I think the other thing that you said that I think is so insightful is are you creating your best content right now? Or, you know, it’s like, I think we, so sometimes in this space of like building your personal brand and becoming more well known, we kind of get obsessed with, I gotta have something out. Right? Yeah. And so it’s like, perhaps you’re not doing your best content because you’re just trying to like, get something out. And I love it’s, you know, it’s that whole concept of save the best for first mm-hmm , don’t save the best for last. You save the best for first. So that’s the best stuff that you’ve got right now. So I’m curious, I’d love to hear tips. Like for anyone who’s listening, who’s going. Yeah. But like, how do I get people to feel what I want them to feel? Or how do I create my best content right now? How do I know what that is? Like, what would you say to them?
TB (31:51):
Yeah. So a couple of things first off, you know, when it comes to creating content you have to know your industry. If you, or, you know, know your audience, know who you want to communicate to. So for example, if let’s just say you review baby products, right. Is, should be something you’re passionate about. Is this something you’re passionate about? Is this something you actually care about? Mm-Hmm right. What’s something that you actually care about that you have some knowledge of, right. That you have some experience with, right. Something that, you know, other people will also care about. Right. Or are you an animal lover, right. And you wanna speak about animals, you talk about it in a way, in a way that you care about. Right. people need to know that you actually care about what you’re talking about so they can care about you.
TB (32:47):
Mm-Hmm right. It’s about building that. No, like, and trust factor. Right? Because think about this for a second. Right. Even if somebody doesn’t necessarily like what you put out, you being consistent in putting out your content and authentic to yourself, then people can gauge what they will like about whatever it is that you’re talking about. So let’s say for example, right? Let’s say you review on phones like a tech reviewer. Right. And you say, I don’t like, I don’t, I like a 3.5 aperture right on my phone. Somebody else will say, well, I don’t really like that. But when they hear you say that they’ll be at a gauge for themselves. Oh, well, I know what their gauge is. So I can gauge from there what my gauge is. So mm-hmm, being consistent and authentic allows people to build that. No, like, and trust factor with you.
TB (33:40):
Yeah. Which allows you to build a community of people that love you. Some that like you and some that are like, oh, okay. And then you are also gonna have some people that disagree with you and all that is fine because it’s about building your community and your authenticity. So if you’re consistent, you’re being authentic. You actually like what you’re talking about. And you’re passionate, what you’re talking about. You have some experience in it and you don’t have to be the first. You don’t have to be the best. You just have to be yourself. Mm-Hmm right. And as you’re doing that, people will like your personality for what it is, because they’re gonna be some people just like you, people will love to watch. They, they like to see you be vulnerable. So it empowers them to deal with their vulnerabilities. You see what I’m saying? Oh yeah. So just always be authentic be consistent, be passionate about what you wanted to talk about. And I promise you you’ll, you’ll, you’ll see some success.
AJV (34:35):
Oh yeah. I, this was beat into my heads. Like as soon as you started talking, I was like, oh my gosh, I haven’t thought about this quote in years, but this was beaten to my head early on, in my sales career. And you just made me think about, is that people don’t care how much, you know, until they know how much you care. Right. And it’s like, are you talking about stuff that you actually care about? Or you just out there, you know, trying to get that next, you know, sale or that next, whatever. I think that’s so good. And so you kind of teed up and I’d, I’d like to hear both of your perspectives on this. Is this concept of authenticity mm-hmm right. For someone who is authentic, but it has not come across well on video or in social media because they’re comparing themselves or they’re not confident or whatever it may be.
AJV (35:27):
It’s like, you know, I’ve, I’ve got this one person in mind. It’s like, their content is amazing. And they’re amazing. It does not come across that way, but it’s like, man, if would just read their book or have a one on one over coffee, it’s like, they’re so wise. And so insightful that yet, because of this issue they have with like putting themselves out there, they’re kind of like the world’s best kept secret and not a good way. Right. So I wanna, I’d love to hear both of your perspectives. Like how do you create more authenticity for social media or your website or your podcast, or just anything to do with video when that’s really hard.
TV (36:08):
Yeah. Yeah. Like, I, I, I can if I can first say something actually that, because that’s, that’s a very common problem. I, I can totally get that. Like, it’s totally like, like you said, like you said before, the moment the red light goes on, like it’s, it’s, you’re in a different, different zone. So, so I totally get, so there’s two things to that one, obviously. And I think that that’s, that’s the, the, maybe the bad side of social media media, everything seems to be so easy. Everything seems to be so easy. So it’s very easy to compare yourself. The moment you get started to like Hey, you know, I want to be Gary V always tells me to be consistent and always post to video every day. So let me do that. And that that’s, that’s super hardening. Cuz then people forget to understand one.
TV (36:52):
He’s been doing it for quite some years. Two. He has a big team around him. There’s, there’s, there’s a whole, there’s a difference perspective in it that you don’t really see by watching it’s a machine behind it. So one, it takes time, you know, never, never think that the moment you start is gonna be the best ever. And second thing is like, it is true. There are two different types of people, one that can, that are just really good on camera. And everybody can learn that for sure. But it takes time. One PE some people are just naturally they go from the start. But a lot of people, like you said, you just said like, if, if, if you start talking to them, you get so much good information out of them, but it doesn’t translate well on camera. Well, what does that mean?
TV (37:31):
Like, for me that means like, okay, what if you just ha, if you record a conversation, then you know, why don’t you record like a zoom call with somebody? Like, we’re like, girl, you know, like, like a podcast like we’re doing right now. It’s different. The camera is on. Yes. But like, you know, we all kind of forget. Yeah. And then you still get the conversation out of it. And even from that part, send that to an editor. They can create a lot of cool, interesting snippets out of that. And then your authenticity is there.
AJV (37:59):
Oh, that’s so good for any of you who are listening. I just wanna make sure you hear that. It’s like, if you don’t have confidence or you feel insecure on camera, it’s like, just do it interview style, right? Have someone interview you, film it, send it to an editor and they’ll be able to take out the best parts of you talking. Right. That’s a really great tip because it’s like content comes in a variety of mediums. Right? So have someone interview you. That’s a really great format. Cause I feel the same way with a lot of people who have major fears around public speaking, but they don’t mind doing a panel. They don’t mind doing an interview. It’s just the concept of me standing on stage by myself, trying to tell all these people, something there doesn’t come across, but you sit ’em down on a couch with an interviewer and it’s like brilliance, just coming out of their mouth. Yeah. Somehow as this keynote speaker, doesn’t come out that way. So do an interview style. I love that. Yeah. That’s a great, tangible takeaway for anyone who doesn’t feel confident on camera to still create content and get your message out there. So, so love that. Travis. That, what, what do you, how do, how do you, how are you authentic on camera?
TB (39:14):
Yeah. So one thing that I think this is gonna sound a little more bit, but it’s something for me that’s worked when communicating to my clients and wanting to create like the best pieces. You ask yourself this question. If you were to die in 30 days, what’s the one thing, the most important thing you want the world to know, like what what’s, if you knew you were gonna die in 30 days, what’s the most important thing you would want the world to know. Right? If you, if you think about that for a second and you give that message, when you’re coming from a place of, you know, what of, of your own mortality, it usually comes across as visceral as possible because you’re thinking to yourself, you know, this is the most important message to me. Mm-Hmm and then whenever you create your next me message or video, you ask yourself the same as that question.
TB (40:18):
Okay. Now that I’ve created that if I were to die, what’s the next most important video or what’s the most next important message that I would want to get across the world. And so what happens is this forces you to dig deep inside of yourself because it’s not about performing, right? It’s about talking to that one person. Like, because I know we’re talking to the world, but it’s really about talking to one person, right. When you’re talking to the camera, you’re not talking to the camera. You’re not even talking to yourself, you’re talking to one person, right? Who’s that one person, your client avatar or the individual that, you know, who’s, you know, if it’s, if it’s his story about something that you were going through, who’s that person that you wanna speak to imagine they need your help right now. Mm-Hmm you, you’re not going to fold.
TB (41:10):
You’re gonna show up, oh, this person needs my help. I’m gonna show up. You know, that’s going to give you the energy and the empowerment to kind of like show up. And so that’s how I show up when I am making my videos or when I’m talking to clients, making them videos. Who’s that one person that you wanna show up for, let’s say they needed you right now. You’re gonna die in 30 days. Mm-Hmm they need you, what are you gonna say to ’em? You know? So usually when you bring it that close to home, people dig deep, you know, and it gets visceral and no nobody’s coming from that fact base. Let me get a, get a bunch of these numbers they’re coming from, you know, how do I just connect?
AJV (41:53):
Yeah.
TB (41:54):
And when you make it relatable and you connect, it becomes shareable.
AJV (41:58):
Mm-Hmm that’s good. So I’m curious, like, do you find that most people have a lot of clarity on who their avatar is?
TB (42:09):
Well, once I go through the process with them, yeah, not initially. initially, initially when we usually are working with people, they, they just want an audience, like, like, Hey, we just want an audience. We just know. And it’s like, nah, that, that doesn’t make sense. You can’t really, you can’t really scale that way. Right? We can only scale when we know the message that you want to get across. Therefore we can speak to a certain people. Then we can also determine how to, how to make that shareable. And now people respect because at the end of the day, right, people, E everybody has a gift and a talent in their own way. Right. But nobody knows it all. So your respect comes from when people respect, whatever your expertise is or whatever it is, that one thing that you really know that’s better than everybody or, or, or the thing that you can do, that’s better than everybody else. So once I identify that within you, it doesn’t matter which category I’m in. If I, I could be a veterinarian, but if you’re a co a video creator and you’re dope at it, then I’m gonna respect you and follow you because you’re an expert in that. So once you’re able to dive in on who you are and what you want to do and, and the people you want to connect with, then you can finally build out and scale because everybody will wanna follow you after that.
AJV (43:30):
That’s so good. I love that. And I know we’re coming up on time here. So I have just like one last question for each of you. So I’ll start, I’ll start with Tony. So here’s here’s my, here’s my last question for you. It’s like, if you had one creative piece of advice, right. For anyone out there who’s listening, it’s like, Hey, if you can just do this one thing, it’s going to help you get your message across on video, what would it be?
TV (44:02):
Oh, to get your message across on video? Well, I, I think people, well, I do think like a lot of people stress too much about it. Like, like, like you, like, you’re, like you said, like it’s, oh, I, I, I need to record something today because everybody tells me I need to be consistent. I need to post every single day on Instagram, on Instagram stories, YouTube, everywhere. . And that that’s gonna, that’s gonna burn you out real fast fasting and yeah, it’s exhausting. And that, there’s no way, there’s no way. So for that, like, I would really say like, just, just firstly, take it a bit seriously and schedule it, take your time for it. You know, like of course, everywhere there there’s fact to it. If you, if you’re, if you’re, if you’re everywhere and you create good content everywhere, of course it’s gonna be great, but it’s just not scalable.
TV (44:52):
Don’t don’t please don’t think like that. I would for sure. Say like, you know, take your time one day, create a couple of videos, focus on one platform, just be a bit active on there. When it comes to, to quality focus, the quality on what you’re saying, that’s the most important and what you’re saying, not how it looks like. Not on a crazy edit. Just what are you saying? Start with there, start with there. And then, then you’re gonna create momentum in yourself, in your audience. And then from there, just take the next step. Like what could the next step be? Could it be a better edit? Could it be more clarity in what I’m saying? Better camera gear. Should I move to another platform? Those things, but calm down.
AJV (45:35):
I would
TV (45:36):
Say
AJV (45:36):
everybody hear that? Calm, everybody take a breath. That’s so true. It’s like, it’s quite contrary to what we hear today. It’s you gotta be on every platform and it’s like, yeah. Why like, is your audience on every platform, right? Is that exactly
TV (45:57):
Yeah.
AJV (45:57):
Saying like, who is saying this? And like, why are they saying this? It’s like, you know, we get pressure. I get pressure. I shouldn’t say we, I get pressure. I, them, you need to be on TikTok. I’m like Noah don’t they’re like, oh yeah, you do. Yeah, exactly. Noah don’t. Yeah. I don’t wanna be on TikTok so I should not be on it.
TV (46:12):
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it was funny cuz I was speaking to Travis actually last week and cuz I, I was also like, everybody kind of looks up to like these prince CAS and, and these J she and like they, they, they want to be consistent everywhere, but like, and or Gary VFR who is definitely consistent everywhere, but people really on the resume, like say prince say, Hey, he doesn’t drop a single, a video. Every single day of that quality. He drops once a month. Maybe sometimes once every two months. Mm-Hmm when it comes to Gary V who is every everywhere. All the time. Yeah. Great. But understand, like I think he got like 20 people around him and the, and the videos that he put out it’s quality, you know, it’s not just,
AJV (46:51):
He literally had, but someone following him around with the video. Yeah. So until you got those resources, it’s like, yeah, like
TV (46:59):
Calm down, calm down,
AJV (47:00):
Calm down. It’s OK. That like the advice of the day, calm down. Good one Tommy. It’s so true. It’s like, you know, it’s like our, like even people in like our client community at brand builder’s group, it’s they stress themselves out of going, well, I have to do this and I have to do this. And I’m like, no, you don’t. Yeah, you don’t, you can, but you don’t have to. It’s like, you can actually be really successful and not even be on social media, spoiler alert. Right. It’s like, yeah, it’s not a dependent factor, but it definitely is a huge conduit of getting your message out there. Yes. Faster. Right. Okay. So Travis, here’s my last question for you. And it has to do with social media since inter like media is got this, it’s an amazing company doing really cool things. You had me at your hook making videos go viral. I was like, how do I learn more? Right. So I’m curious to hear your perspective of like, in order to really make social media work, what’s the first thing you need to do.
TB (48:11):
So interesting. I’ll tell this really quick story. So I had a company I work with for, for 90 days power for you out of salt lake city, Utah. And so first thing I did was identify what type of company is this? It’s a personal development company. I said, okay it’s a personal development company. So now I go to market research.com and say, all right, who’s into personal development, the most millennials. Okay. Millennials into personal developed the most. Okay. Where are these people located at California and New York, you know, places like that. Okay, great. Which platform are they on? Which social media platform are they on? Okay. So I see that they’re on Facebook mainly. Now this was a couple years ago, but, and so now it’s like Instagram and YouTube, but back then it was Facebook and YouTube.
TB (49:07):
Okay, cool. All right. Now I see who’s the top performing personal development coaches and, and influences on these platforms. So I check and see who’s the top performing influences on those platforms. Then I see the most viral videos that they are putting out. And then after I see which the most viral videos that they’re putting out, then I see the most common questions that people are asking in a comment section mm-hmm . So from there I say, this is where you make your content. Mm-Hmm you use one of these platforms that fit best for you, that you already know that your clientele is on and now, you know, the exact content that the people want to make. Yeah. And so the only difference at this point is you decide how you wanna make that content, but you know, everything, you know, which platform now that they, that they’re on, you know, the content that they wanna see, the only difference is now is you just gotta make the content. Yeah. So if I had to tell anybody which platform to start on or what to do, start with exactly what I just told you, and that would give you the entire, any, I promise you in year’s time, not only were your social media transform, but your entire business would transform doing this. What I just said.
AJV (50:25):
Yeah. I mean, I think it’s like how I translate that in my mind. It’s like, you gotta get so in tune with who your audience is, that everything else is second to that, right? Yeah. It’s like, where are they? What are they asking? What do they need? What do they want? And how can we give it to ’em in the way that they want it.
TB (50:43):
And, and also do want to, at this one last point, something Tony said, and I don’t want, wanted to gloss over choosing one platform, probably one of the biggest things that I run into, you know, entrepreneurs is they wanna be on every platform. and here’s the thing. If you have the capital to pay for professional, social media management and content on every platform like Gary V for example, that’s fine. That’s great. Cuz there’s value in that because you can actually build out a lot of social strategies with that. But just being on every platform is not really that useful. You like the, if you pay attention to the actual people that have built this stuff, people like Jay people like prince and, and all these other people Darman and stuff, they actually started off with one platform first because once you understand one platform and build that platform out and build a community, you can transfer that audience to any other platform you want just think about it. If you get a million platform, I mean subscribers on YouTube or a million people on Instagram, you have a huge community. Now, when you go to YouTube, where you go to these other platforms, you gonna, your communities automatically start calling, oh my gosh, you’re making, you know, Jake, Paul and Logan, Paul, you know, are, is another example. They started off on vine then went to Facebook and Instagram and YouTube. So like once you build that community on one platform, it’s easy to bid on the others.
AJV (52:07):
Yeah.
TB (52:07):
And it’s much easier to learn how to build on one platform than it is on V. Yeah.
AJV (52:12):
So at least gives you more focus and tension and takes away the pressure of, and this and this and this and this. Exactly. which really quite honestly is probably what halts most people is. I feel like I just can’t keep up. I just can’t, I can’t do this so they don’t do anything. Yeah. So, so, so good. Anna lied. I’m gonna ask one last question to each of you. What’s your favorite, what’s your preferred platform, Tony? Like what’s your go-to platform? Just for curiosity sake.
TV (52:41):
YouTube
AJV (52:42):
For me. Youtube. All right, Travis.
TB (52:45):
Yeah. YouTube is the platform for longevity. It’s the second big, biggest search engine. It’s evergreen. And honestly, anybody that wants a sustainable platform to build on YouTube is definitely number one. It’s not the quickest.
AJV (53:01):
Yeah, that’s so
TB (53:01):
Good. Y’all definitely the one that lasts the longest.
AJV (53:04):
Ugh. Y’all just so many awesome nuggets of information. So grateful for both of you guys coming on, everyone who is listening. I am telling you go check out interlight media. It’s I N N ER, not inter inner. You have to listen to my Southern accent and translate inner like you’re intervening you’re media, interlight media.com. Also you’ve got interlight social. Are those, do those go to the same place or is one better than the other?
TB (53:33):
So interlight media is the name of the company. Interlight social is the name of the website.
AJV (53:37):
See, that’s so glad I asked interlight social.com. I will make it correct in the show notes, ignore everything. I just said, enter like social.com is where you wanna go. We’ll make sure to have all the links in the show notes and y’all, if they wanna follow you on social media, where should they go? Travis,
TB (53:56):
Instagram and YouTube, just Travis believes. And if you Google, Travis believes you’ll find me everywhere. You’ll follow me on any platform. But Instagram and YouTube is where you’ll find me most active.
AJV (54:08):
Travis believes on Instagram and YouTube. And how about you? Tony
TV (54:12):
Instagram really plays that’s Instagram. That’s tone to Tony cuz my, my real, my Dutch name is tone. T E U N. It’s gonna be hard to pronounce for an English audience. So that’s why Tony you’re still I’ll put in the show note. Yeah, I
AJV (54:27):
Make it clear. I’ll put it in the show note. Yeah. Y’all thank you so much. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and all of your insights. We so appreciate it. Everyone else, make sure you catch the recap episode and we’ll catch you next time on the influential personal brand. See y’all.

Ep 310: The Fastest Way to Become a Paid Professional Speaker with Kindra Hall

RV (00:02):
Kindra hall is one of our dear real life friends, and she is a delight and she is one of the best female speakers in the world. One of the, the highest grossing, you know, highest revenue, grossing, keynote speakers, that’s out there. And Kindra and AJ and I like we’ve, we’ve known each other for years at this point. And it’s been really great to see how fast Kindra has launched her career. Specifically as a speaker. I, I remember meeting her earlier in her career where she’s like early on in her journey. She’s like, I’m gonna speak everywhere. And then it was like, within a matter of a couple years, she really freaking was everywhere. . And so I wanna, we’re gonna talk about that today, but she’s the wall street journal bestselling author. Her first book was called stories that stick. She has a new book that just came out recently called choose your story, change your life. And she is just an expert at, you know, storytelling and, and using stories to market and persuade and influence, and also to kind of coach yourself and the stories that you tell yourself about yourself and how much those tie in to who you become. So Kindra hall, welcome to the stage.
KH (01:11):
Thank you for having me Rory so glad to be here,
RV (01:14):
Buddy. You are awesome. And I, I really mean that, you know, like we, of all the people who come up, you know, to me, and, and say, I wanna be a speaker, like of the people who have actually built like a really true, you know, career. I think you’re probably the fastest that I’ve ever seen that happen to where it was like, I have a dream to speak to. I mean, you and I are gonna be sharing the stage at MDRT together here in, at, in Sydney, Australia in a few months. That’s, you know, a lot of people say, that’s, that’s the biggest, one of the biggest stages in the world. So how did you do that?
KH (01:52):
Now I’m not to make me nervous. All of a sudden I’m like, wait, that’s a big stage. I didn’t think left that part out.
RV (01:58):
It’s a big, old deal. You should be totally nervous. You should be freaking out. It’s a big, it’s a big deal.
KH (02:04):
My, my heart rate just, just went up significantly. I’m starting to sweat a thing. You can’t smell me through here. You know, I, it, how did I do that? It’s a good question. I think I really was someone who I would see and I saw you speak for the very first time. Gosh, it would’ve been in like 2006 when 2007,
RV (02:26):
Was it that DSA convict with direct selling association? Yeah, that wasn’t, I had a, I had like a eight minute part of a showcase. Yeah. And you were, you were there
KH (02:36):
I was there. I was there for those eight minutes, but I remember I was sitting in the audience and I, I didn’t really know that being a speaker was really a thing. I remember going to like conferences in high school. I saw Mark Sharon Brock speak when I was in high school. I know he was like a senior in high school and he was so great, but I didn’t realize it was something that you could do and make money at. And then being at that conference, seeing you there, I started to put together the pieces. And I had a, you put
RV (03:04):
The pieces together. You’re like, okay, if they’re paying this guy to do it, then I think there’s a career for me.
KH (03:09):
Like, that was terrible. No, I’m just kidding. I’m kidding. But, but you know, you don’t really know what is possible until you see it. And I kind of put together that I, I had a topic or a thing that I was, that I knew a lot about that actually came later that I realized that that was important. I knew that I could be on stage. I’d been on the speech team as a kid through high school and college. And then it was kind of a whim. I got this whim, I wrote a little mini article in success, magazine. It like, like, it was a little insert, like a little paragraph and somebody saw it, you know how sometimes these things just happen. Somebody saw it and called like found me and said, will you be your keynote? Will you be one of our keynote speakers?
KH (04:00):
What do you charge? And I had no idea. I didn’t know what to do. I remember I gave a 90 minute presentation, no slides. I like it was the first time I put a message together in that way. And it wasn’t great looking back, but it was enough for me to go back to my hotel room. I’ll never forget it was in Las Vegas, but like not on the strip, like that one, that’s like south of the strip mm-hmm and looking out the window and thinking what if I could provide for my family this way. And that’s when I was like, I need to figure out how to do this. And I got I was just really, I was obsessed. I was completely overcome with how do I do this as my job? And that obsession, I think is really what fueled it from the start
RV (04:54):
Mm-Hmm . Yeah. And I, I mean, I think, you know, the, the simple, but not easy, but honest answer, I feel like about how do you become a speaker is, is like there’s people hire you because they’ve seen you speak or because they’ve read something you’ve written like that’s what I’ve always heard. I’ve found that to be true. Like even to this day, like a lot of the inquiries we get or someone saw my Ted talk or they saw me five years ago or whatever or they’ve read a book or an article or they read a blog. Would you say that’s still true that that’s those, how do you get hired to speak, like your story? What made me think about it is you wrote this little blurp in success magazine and that’s, you know, they read something you wrote and then all of a sudden boom,
KH (05:38):
But that, I think that was more for me that was more a fluke. So I would say that at the be now, yes, people hire me because they’ve read my book. They’ve seen me on Instagram. They saw me at another event, someone they work with saw me at an event. So now it’s definitely word of mouth. Of course, I work with some incredible bureaus, so my agents are great. They’re, they’re great. They represent me well to their clients, but at the beginning, that one little article I feel like was a, a fluke. It was that obsession that hit me that day after I finished. And what happened next? And if I’ll share it with you,
RV (06:19):
Tell me, yeah, we wanna know, I wanna hear the, the
KH (06:22):
Actual story. This is the very specific thing that I did. So there was another guy at that conference who said, oh yeah, I speak all the time. He was being like, he was definitely bragging about it. And I was like, he knows something. I don’t like, how do I, so I offered the next day to buy him a coffee. And we sat down in the Vegas, whatever coffee shop. And he was like, well, you know, you just gotta reach out to people and see if they need a speaker. And I was like, but, but who, who do I reach out to? And he’s like, I don’t know, convention and visitors bureaus. And I was like, okay, I have a start. So I went home and I set a goal to reach out to 100 organizations or events a week for six weeks. Wow. Which would equal 600. And I started with convention and visitors bureaus. Now I will say, I never heard back from a CVB. Nobody ever that
RV (07:11):
Is not, I’ve never booked one of them. That was, I don’t think that was good advice. I, I was gonna
KH (07:16):
Say, no, it wasn’t, but it got me started because I would sit down at my computer and here’s what I had. I had a a really cheesy little demo video of me that was mostly words swooping in that my brother actually made that said fresh voice, stor new, new strategy storytelling. And then like this, a little clip of me talking at a sales event for a company that I was employed by, like I worked for. So, and then I had done, I did like little vlogs for YouTube. And so I cut in like me talking just so they could hear my voice, see what I looked like on stage. It was so low budget. I, but I had nothing else. And then I created a one sheet PDF or whatever, and I sat down and I Googled women’s events. And then I would enter ’em into a spreadsheet and I’d look up like, who is the contact?
KH (08:08):
Who is the whatever. And I would look up like, who else needs my message entrepreneur events. So I Googled entrepreneur events. I Googled. And a big thing for me was Amer the, I found the American marketing association and they have chapters in every city. And so I started, so I found the one in Minneapolis and they, so I made this list. And then at the end of the week after I had a hundred, I would send an email and say, this is how I can basically how I can serve your audience, because it’s not like they have a problem. So I’m trying to tell them that I know you have this problem and I can solve this problem. I included the link to the video. I attached a PDF and I sent it. And the majority of people didn’t write me back, but I remember the American marketing marketing association in Minneapolis did, and they said, will you come speak?
KH (09:01):
And I said, yes. And then I thought, well, wait, if there’s a Minneapolis chapter, maybe there’s a Nashville chapter. Maybe there’s a Dallas chapter. And so I then had 50 chapters that I could reach out to. And that’s how it started. So it wasn’t, I mean, it was brute force at the beginning. And I did, I reached out to 600 events. I heard back from probably 50, but it was enough to get me in front of people and, and make no mistake. The events that I was writing for the most part I got paid with, like, here’s a Chi, you can have the remaining chicken taco at the end bar
RV (09:39):
Buffet line.
KH (09:41):
like, nice. I wasn’t feeding my family. I was barely feeding myself. But to your point, Rory, what I was doing was getting my message on a stage, getting eyes on that message. And from there, that’s how it happened so quickly. I, wasn’t afraid to reach out to as many people as possible to speak for as many people as possible. So I could test my message. So other people could see me. And it just snowballed it snowballed on top of that, such that you, I went to that first national speakers association, annual meeting. And I think we talked there and I got a lot of great info there that I could apply to my search for places to speak. And I think it was two events later that I was on the main stage. And I know it’s like, how did this happen? But it was because of that like brute force rate from the get go
RV (10:31):
Mm-Hmm yeah. That’s like, that
KH (10:33):
Was a long story.
RV (10:34):
No, it’s a, I mean, yeah, it’s a great story, but that is it. I mean, it’s like every association, every company has events. They need speakers and you, you call ’em and you ask ’em are you email? And you ask ’em, do you have speakers? And they say, send me your topic and send me your demo video. Like, and that’s how, how it starts. N now you’ve always been great at telling a story. You’ve always been fascinated at a story, your, your, I mean, this is a huge part of what you, you do. You know, your first book, which we also, I think really kind of became friends when you were launching stories that stick, cuz it was like, Hey, how do I hit the best seller list and all that stuff. Yeah. Which was awesome if I remember, I think it hit number two on the wall street journal.
RV (11:18):
Yeah. Like was legit was your great storyteller and a huge part of speaking is being a great storyteller. So what are some of the things, you know, I’m thinking more of stories that stick what are some of the elements that you need to tell? Great stories. And, and let’s say specifically from stage now, it, it might not be, you’re a keynote speaker in front of yeah. An arena of people. It might be a webinar or a podcast interview or an Instagram or a YouTube live or whatever, but like what are some of the kind of mistakes you see experts making when they’re telling stories?
KH (11:56):
Well, the first mistake is not telling any stories because the stories are the thing that people remember. Like I remember from early two thousands, your story about the stairs and I can still see you on the stage telling that story. And it’s, it’s been, oh my gosh, is that almost 20 years? I don’t wanna say that out like that. That’s embarrassing. but, but, so, so that’s one of the big mistakes is that, and in stories that stick, I go, it’s very much in depth on what makes a story, what are the components you need to have? But I see a lot of people think they’re telling stories, but they’re just kind of glossing over the story. They’re missing key moments in there and details and the pieces that make a story memorable. So, so I would say that’s the first mistake.
KH (12:47):
The second mistake that people make is it’s they choose the story because it’s a story they want to tell. Maybe because it’s funnier, it’s emotional or it makes people cry or it’s about their dog and they really love their dog. And they aren’t, it’s not exactly clear to the audience why that story for this message. And so I would say it’s, you know, it’s really important to make sure that when you are telling stories in any kind of presentation, whether it’s a, a keynote or a pitch that it’s a really clear to the audience, why you’re telling this story to illustrate whatever message it is that you want them to walk away with. And then I think the third thing is, well, there’s so many but I think one of the great, maybe not the mistake, but I think one of the great opportunities stories afford us is the opportunity to just be ourself, to not have to be the expert when you’re up there. Like you’re, you are just telling the story of, of how like something that happened to you or, or a lesson that you learned or an experience that you had. And, and it’s such a perfect opportunity to be human versus here is the salesperson standing in front of the room or here’s the expert that I’m supposed to listen to. So to choose stories that, you know, to recognize that like really cool thing, that story allows us to do and then to choose stories, to tell that that make that even more possible.
RV (14:28):
Yeah. And I that’s so true. This story is so humanizing. It’s like such a way to connect with people also a way to entertain. Like it it’s naturally entertaining and, and provocative, like if you were gonna write a new story. Okay. So let’s say you were gonna give a new speech. What do you think about in your mind? Like, what’s the thought, press you go through where you go, how do I select the story? I’m gonna tell, so maybe you go, okay, I’m talking to this group, I wanna make this point. And then from there you go, I should do a story or like walk us through the sort of thought process that goes on in Kindra’s head, where you go. Here’s how I select the story. Here’s kind of the high, the high level parts and how I sort of like outline it and then, you know, just like take us through that.
KH (15:18):
Yeah. Yeah. So I think I always start with the, well, some sometimes it, it, it can come in one of two ways sometimes. I stumble upon a story and I’m like, oh my gosh. Like and when I say stumble upon a story, either something happens to me or I remember something that happened years ago and I think, oh, wow, this illustrate, like this is a great story. This illustrates a point that I often try to make. For example, in stories that stick, the opening story is about buying a bottle of cologne on a trip in Slovenia. And I specifically, and the salesman told a story and he did such a great job of it. And I specifically remember standing in that situation, thinking to myself, this is a story. This is a story story is happening to me right here. Right now.
KH (16:16):
I need to remember this. So sometimes it’s the story first. And sometimes it is, which then gets engineered into a message is sometimes it’s the message first it’s, this is the message that I want them to walk away with. This is what I want my audience to think, feel know, or do, what story do I have or what story is there that illustrates this objective that I have. And that’s where it can be. It can be really, it can be really surprising like, oh, wait, there was I, and this isn’t a new story, but this is a story I tell this story about using a story in physics class. Like you wouldn’t think as a, as a, you know, as you said, a well paid keynote speaker that I would open keynotes with a story about a paper from physics class in 12th grade, but it illustrates the message I want to deliver. So very clearly that it ends up being the right story to tell.
RV (17:16):
Okay. So you can either start with the story and engineer the message, or you can identify the message and then sort of reverse engineer it back into the story that you want to tell.
KH (17:28):
Yeah. And I think that the most frustrating thing about the process, and I can say this honestly, like, I, I don’t want people to think that it’s like, oh, so easy. Is that often when you have a message it is really, really hard to find the story that goes with it. Like you can be like where you can sit there and say, what’s a, I have, what’s a story I have and one won’t be there. So I’ve gotten a lot better at saying, I have this message I want to deliver. And then allowing space in my own brain for the right story to come along. Now, it does require heightened awareness on my part. Like, do I witness something a different way? Do I recall something a different way, but, or sometimes you find the story you’re like, oh my gosh, this is such a great story. I have no idea where to use this story.
RV (18:18):
Do you keep a list or anything like, do you like, I, I have like,
KH (18:22):
And again, this is where I wish, I mean, in a perfect world, I would’ve created an app for myself and then I would sell it to all of you, but I have, I text story ideas to myself. I have multiple notebooks and scraps of paper and napkins. With story ideas. I, I put ’em in my notes. I email them to myself. So they’re kind of all over the place. I need to get better about that, but that’s
RV (18:47):
Also, but you do capture it, you at least document it and, and attempt to store it somewhere.
KH (18:53):
Yeah.
RV (18:53):
So what is the difference between telling a story and telling something that happened? And, and is there a difference? Cause I think a lot of people go, I, I’m not a good storyteller, you know, but like they tell friends like, oh, Hey, this is what happened, but then it’s, it’s not very compelling. It’s not very engaging. It’s just really flat or it’s like, oh, okay, well, like what was, what was the point of that? How do you make it engaging?
KH (19:22):
I think that’s kind of the, so if you think about telling something that happened the way I see it is, it’s kind of like a, like a flat line. Like you’re just not like dead, like flat line, but you’re just going along the things kind of in chronological order. Which isn’t necessarily, that can be a place to start with a story, but what a story needs is to kind of take that flat line and to bring the two ends together and then make it a 3d, like a sphere. So that there’s, there’s more intention to it. It’s not just this and this and this happened, it’s these things all happened. And this is, this is what it means in the world. So how that happens is, well, I have a three part, you know, a story has a beginning, a middle and an end, but as we’re thinking about stories to think about it in a way of, at first you’re establishing like this world of what was like, what, how you knew the world, what was happening basically setting the scene in what I call the normal.
KH (20:23):
And then the middle part of the story is the action point is the decision that was made. And the interesting thing is, as you’re creating a story versus telling somebody what happened, like this happened, that, you know, I come home from a flight, I say to my husband, we got delayed. And then we, there was a maintenance issue. So we turned back around and then we took off, but there was weather. So, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And now I’m back home. Whereas with the story there would be, it would be like you build it up in the normal so that the audience is thinking something’s about to happen. Something’s about to happen. Something’s about to happen. And that explosion is the thing that happens. And they’re like, oh yes, that’s what it was. And then the new normal is what you learned as a result.
KH (21:05):
What happened as a result? Now that’s the basic framework, but what, and in stories that stick, we talk about this, this is what the research is that a story really has. Then also four key components. It needs a character, an identifiable character it needs authentic emotion. It needs like a specific moment in the story that people can like be drawn into and really visually see it. So that they’re, you know, sitting right next to you on the stairs is in take the stairs case and then specific details. Because again, it’s the specific details that will have the lasting effect cognitively for people to remember that story. Interesting. Did that help? It’s a little mad
RV (21:46):
Scientist. Sorry. Yeah, totally. Sorry. Well I think it, it’s just, I think a lot of it is realizing that there’s a difference between telling a story and telling what happened and going a story is something you have to craft. Like it’s, it’s
KH (22:01):
Tension behind it, intention
RV (22:02):
And energy. And you know, so, and I like stories that stick. That’s really what that is about. So your, your newer book choose your story, change your life is interesting because that’s more about the stories that we tell ourselves.
KH (22:17):
Yes.
RV (22:18):
So I’d love to kind of marry that with what are the stories that maybe you’ve heard experts tell themselves about why they can’t be successful. And then what are some of the stories that you told yourself about maybe the industry or whatever, and then how do you rewrite your, your story to be more empowering?
KH (22:43):
Yeah. I, I mean the stories that we, because of course the stories that we tell ourselves have all of the components by nature that I just mentioned. And so the natural stories that are alive within each of us, those are crafted without effort. That is, we are very good at crafting those stories ourselves. And so we have within us, these very powerful forces, which are our stories that dictate our actions for better or worse. So for example and for talking, and if we’re talking about speakers here, it’s so funny, the, the stories that people tell themselves. So I was working with a speaker several years ago, long before I was a speaker who who was it, wasn’t for a lack of like, it wasn’t like imposter syndrome. But there was definitely some frustration around not being able to get to the next level.
KH (23:42):
And the stories were that this person was telling themselves as well. My content is serious and, and audiences just want they just wanna laugh and I can’t laugh, or I don’t make people laugh because I’m so serious. And so there were, there were some of these stories that were and, oh, I’m a even stories about the stories that could be told was I’m a very private person. I can’t share my stories. So therefore I won’t be successful as a speaker. Hmm. Or as successful as I want to be. You know, I had stories about myself, the stories that I was stories that I had about myself and then stories that were told to me, I was told on multiple occasions that I was too blonde to be taken seriously on stage
RV (24:38):
Really?
KH (24:39):
Yep. That I was too young. I didn’t have enough experience or success that I was too female. Right. So, so that there were, and, and so it’s really interesting too, because those were stories that I could have adopted for myself. As, oh, I, I guess I don’t have a place here instead. Some of the stories that I really struggled with were yeah, like what, what value can I bring to them or that audience I would be, I would be standing backstage thinking that audience doesn’t pair anything about what I have to say. And I would have the stories playing in my head of maybe an event, like way at the beginning that didn’t go so well. Right. Cause I was still getting good at speaking. And so it really is a matter of when you find these stories that you’re telling it’s, it’s seeing them for what they are. Right. Mm-Hmm so the person I was talking about earlier saying, well, I’m serious. And so I won’t be as successful of a speaker as I want to be. Well, is that story serving you? And if not what, what’s another story that we can find. And, and it was actually then branching out into like his version of humor, like what his version of humor looked like and where he loosened up and was able to be a better speaker that way. It’s really important to be able to catch yourself in these negative stories and see them is just stories. And then what are the stories you could tell instead to stop that criticism and move you in a better direction?
RV (26:22):
Yeah. That’s, that’s, that’s really amazing. Like one of the things that I picked up there is like, it’s funny how, when we’re trying to craft, like when we’re trying to tell a story at first stage or something, we have to sit down and go, all right, I need to craft this with intention. But when it’s the stories in our own head about our own life, those are crafted without much effort, almost invisible. Like we don’t even, yeah. You know, some, somebody says something, boom, we adopted as truth. We live, we live our whole life by it. We don’t even know that it’s there affecting how we think what we do. And so it feels like identifying and just going, oh, where did I learn that? Like, where did I, where did I even adopt that from? I think a lot of it is fake. Like it’s, it’s manufactured. They’re not real things.
KH (27:10):
I, I had a really, I had a big epiphany. That’s actually changed my life as a speaker. I realized that I, I had this belief that if I wasn’t terribly stressed and painfully nervous and out of my mind, terrified to go out on stage that I then didn’t, I wouldn’t do a good job. It was like, it was required for me to be really unsure of myself. And that’s how I used that. I would use those stories as like the adrenaline that got me on stage, but it made me miserable. I hated my job because I felt so terrible right before, sometimes days before I, my husband would call it the darkness before I would go and give a presentation. And so I used this self storytelling strategy because I just couldn’t live like that anymore. I would just feel too miserable before every keynote.
KH (28:11):
And so I would choose to tell myself stories that would stop that anxiety stop that, that nervousness. And, you know, you would think that one of the stories you would tell is a time you did a great job. Well, I do. I mean, forgive me for saying this, but I do a great job almost all the time. Right. And so my inner critic is like me, that’s not good enough. That’s not good enough. And so I would stay in this very nervous state. So I decided to, and we’re talking about carefully curating, crafting our stories. I decide, I figured out that the stories that worked were the stories of when all the odds were against me and I still did a great job. So there was this one huge event. So it was a big sales conference for tech. It was like the first tech event that I had spoken for.
KH (29:01):
And I got the stomach flu, like in the middle of the night, the night before I was so sick, they had to put a bucket off stage for me with strict instructions to cut the mic. If they saw me go towards the bucket I was, I was terribly ill and this was way before COVID. So you could, you know, show must go on. I gave a killer 90 minute presentation and then went to the airport and got some, you know, pretzels and Gatorade. And I was fine, but like that, I’m like, wait, I was, or the time where I was in The Bahamas and the whole electrical grid went out, all that was on in the room were the generator lights. And I just called out to the audience. Do, should I just keep going? Like my mic didn’t work. There were no decks.
KH (29:43):
And it was, and it just kept going. And it was awesome. Right? So telling myself these stories, but those are the stories. Those were the only stories. So this is, what’s really important as whatever your limiting beliefs are, whatever they are that you’re telling yourself that you’re, you, you gotta catch it. You gotta figure out where it’s coming from, but then it’s your job to choose better ones. And I have this set of stories that I consistently retold myself. I call it the fourth step it’s installing before I would go on stage until now. I don’t, I don’t have to struggle with any of that anymore. So for example, Roy you’ll love this. I was at an event just a, just a couple weeks ago. And the event got started late because for whatever reason. And so then the guy was going long and I was sitting there and then they, they called for a Q and a and everybody left the room because they didn’t wanna sit for the Q and a, and they went out to get the coffee. And then it was my turn to come up on stage and everybody was gone and they were like in the back, like dinging the gong. I would’ve freaked out before and now I, I don’t, because I know that I know the stories of when I’ve faced terrible odds and done. Great.
RV (30:53):
Yeah. That’s I, I love the word that you use there reinstall, it, it it’s, it’s like a program that you’re just in installing taking the old one out and going, oh, that one doesn’t work. I’m just gonna drop that one. I’m gonna reinstall a new program, which is just a new, a new story. Well I love this Kindra. So good Kay stories that sticks the first book, which is, you know, I would say is really kind of like the art of how to tell a great story. Yep. And then, and then choose your story, change your life, which is, is a lot about, you know, almost like a very personal development, kind of like your own mindset and about how you live your life and how much these stories impact us. Where should people go if, if they wanna connect with you and learn more about, about you and what you’re up to.
KH (31:40):
Yeah, well, you can find me. I’m Kindra hall.com. K I N D R a H a L L social I’m on LinkedIn, Twitter, kind of Facebook, Instagram. You can find me there. And of course the books are wherever books are sold
RV (31:57):
Uhhuh. Well we’ll link up to Kendra hall.com in the show notes. Thank you for this friend. Always, always such a pleasure to talk with you. I’m, I’m so excited about your whole career and the art that it’s taking and all the great work that you’re doing. So we wish you the best and we’ll keep in touch, look forward to, to seeing where you go from here.
KH (32:17):
Well, we’ll see you in Australia, Rory. Thanks for having me.
RV (32:20):
That’s right. I’ll see you soon.

Ep 308: How to Grow a Personal Brand and Build a Real Estate Empire with Vinney Chopra

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand buildersgroup.com/podcall. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:53):
Hey everybody. And welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand. This is one of your co-hosts AJ Vaden. Here I am here today with a, a friend we recently got reunited. We randomly were at the same mastermind event together. And I don’t think until here recently, I had seen Vinney in probably 15 years, been a really long time and was such an honor to get to run into him. He’s the happiest, most joyful human on planet earth. You all have a taste in just a moment, but first before we kind jump into a conversation, I might give a couple of high level things that you need to know about Vinney Chopra and why you need to stick around. This is, it’s kind of gonna be one of those interviews where we talk about personal branding. We talk about business, we talk about entrepreneurship, but we’re also gonna talk about scaling through investing.
AJV (01:52):
And Vinney is just a fascinating human being. And some of the most fascinating things that I think you need to know about him is that when VI, he moved to the United States almost 40 years ago, he moved here with $7. That’s right. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, $7 in his pocket. That’s it. And today he’s got more than 650 million under assets. He’s the author of two amazing books. He’s a podcast host, he’s a crypto investor. He is a man of many talents. And y’all, I’m just so excited to learn from him like selfishly, I’m having Vinney on the podcast today, cuz I want to ask him all these questions and learn for myself. And I know that if I can gain something, I know that you’re gonna gain something about.
New Speaker (02:46):
Real estate syndication of being an author, using that, to help your personal brand, but growing your business and your reputation, which are all things that Vinney has done exceptionally well and going from $7 when he moved here to over 650 million in assets 40 years later is nothing shy of incredible. I’m so excited to have you on the show. Vinney. Welcome.
VC (03:12):
Thank you, AJ. Thank you. I’m humbled. I’m privileged to be with you. I appreciate that. When I met you and Rory few months back, maybe last month we were there, you know, in Sarasota it’s it was fabulous to meet you all. And I saw you in presentation here, dynamic. I mean the company you have built is super, you know, just so great. And I’m so fortunate to be with you today.
AJV (03:40):
Oh, I’m the pleasure is all mine. He’s like even in Vinney’s text, y’all he just emos joy. It’s like even his text messaging, he’s just like the happiest guy and I’m so excited to get, to spend an hour with you. So all Vinney. So I kind of gave you a little bit of advanced notice and I clearly shared a tiny, tiny little microcosm of all of the things that you’ve accomplished, but here’s what I wanna do first is I wanna help our audience get to know you. And so here’s, I’m just gonna lay it out there. You can tell us as much or as little as you want, but how did you go from moving to the United States with $7 to being a multi-time international bestselling author podcast, host and most impressively, this incredible real real estate investment empire. How did this all happen?
VC (04:31):
Thank you. Thank you, AJ. Actually, I came with a very humble beginning. We are six siblings four sisters and two brothers, including me. We lived in one bedroom apartment. I think it was 300 scare freak total, literally like one bedroom, one living room and a hallway, never had a television, never had like a telephone or a refrigerator when I was growing up all the way till 11th grade. I think we only had a bicycle and you know, the two legs cycle, right? walking so that’s all we had. And you know what I recall back, I think I was more goal oriented guy. Even from the start. I was very studious. I give really credit to our dad. Mom and dad have passed away now, but he would hold this school. What a school in the home after dinner every night, because he really wanted to make sure that we are learning everything and knowing the lectures, what teacher is gonna teach us next day.
VC (05:39):
So that really gave us very good in, you know, power to learn and be aggressive. And to really top in the class, if I may post a little bit, you know, in the junior high, I kind of topped in the high school I taught there also in studies, I got a free scholarship, five year scholarship from the Indian government to, I always wanted to become an engineer. So I’m a mechanical engineer. I took my five years to get the degree that I worked with Larson turbo, which is reliance group, one of the biggest company in India. But then I came here. I always wanted to do MBA masters in business administration. I thought, you know, marketing and engineering, I can make a good living in USA or in India. So I came here with $7. Now I could only bring $7. My grandpa actually paid for my ticket to come here.
VC (06:39):
My parents didn’t want me to come here. so I had lot of hurdles in my life. Even the visa department gave me trouble for one and a half year. I, they wouldn’t gimme the visa. The George Washington university accepted me, but I wouldn’t get visa, but I kept on trying and persuasive and persistent. Anyway, we got it. So then I came here with $7. My uncle sponsored me. So first tuition he paid, I think $1,500 or something. Then I sold books. One of my good friends said, wi what are you doing? I said, I don’t know. I just came from India half. Most of the people couldn’t understand me. Still. People can’t understand me. You know, big thick accent I had. But anyway, he said, you know, I sold Bible books and encyclopedia and it made money. I said, okay, I’ll go along. So that’s what happened. I cut my teeth in sales and engineer converted into a salesperson.
AJV (07:44):
This is amazing. Like it’s like, I mean, it’s like one of those stories of when we think about overcoming the odds as someone who lives in America, it’s a really different story when you compare it to really no access to ed education and like no vehicle, 300 square foot with eight people living in it. Like that’s a, that’s a different level of humble beginnings than what we hear most often specifically on this podcast. And so I know that after college, right, you took clearly a job. So what was your first job? Like? Did you go into engineering or did you say the sales and marketing?
VC (08:24):
It just so happened. I worked like 80 hours a week. I know Ru also worked, I think, you know, in the similar profession, but that was like selling through summer months while I was going for George Washington university and we’ll sell books and encyclopedias 13 hours a day knocking on doors. And that really made me tougher. It made me being very, you know, accepting rejection and making sure that I could really down deep in myself, you know, figure out ways how could to overcome and be happy. I guess, you know, I was not always smiling like this, but I just always felt like, okay. And they gave us great many books by the way, Mandino in the greatest salesmen in the world, Charlie, tremendous Jones, you know, Dale Carnegie’s book how to influence people and, you know win France then think and grow rich, you know, Napoleon Hills. I remember those seven books really got me going mind wise and thinking, oh, I forgot magic of thinking big by WJ Schwartz. You know, all, these are very, very great books. So that’s when after about three summers, I said, you know what, I’m enjoying it so much. Let me just put the engineering in a box literally for some time and let me try out other revenues. So I became promotional consultant, fundraising consultant. I ranked, you know, raised my bar high. So I never went back to engineering. Can you play it?
AJV (10:02):
I, I mean, it’s kinda one of those things where, you know, I think people forget the power of learning, how to be a great salesperson. Yeah. Right. It does not matter what business you’re in. Right. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, having the skills of knowing how to make a sale and have influence like, like even as a parent, right. It’s like I’m selling every day and my kids are the best negotiators on the planet. Right. It’s like, there is just so much power in knowing how to make a sale that makes you a great business person. So I know that you went on and you were in fundraising for 40 years.
VC (10:41):
Yeah.
AJV (10:46):
For a really long time,
VC (10:47):
He retired in 2015.
AJV (10:50):
So I want everyone to pay attention to that. Let me call that out. So Vinney retired after a 37 year career with the same company, right. But 37 years. And you retired in 2017. It’s 2022 y’all. So your real estate investing really started five years ago,
VC (11:10):
Two eight. When I really took big, big strides, we start, we’ve been married 42 years just to say everybody, and I’ll be 17 this year. I’ll be, you know, after 50, I say, every birthday we go backward. So actually I’m only 30 mind of 17. Maybe
AJV (11:32):
I love it. I love it. But it’s like, I think it’s really important that I think just so often we feel like we look up at some point in our life and we just feel like we’re, I just thought I would be in a different place by now, or I thought I would have more or do more or something by now. And what I love about your story so much is that so much of the monumental success that you’ve had in books and everything has happened post retirement, right? Retirement is not retirement for you. Retirement. Truly
VC (12:05):
Seven years have been spectacular growth years. For me, I’m making more and doing more and being happier more. I was happy all these 40 years also. And we’ve been married 42 years, but what I have really scaled up has been in seven years.
AJV (12:23):
This is incredible. So, okay. So what click, what changed? What’s different? Like what did you start doing seven years ago? Because really what happened is you left kind of the quote unquote corporate America. You left your, you know, quote unquote nine to five, even though I know you’re working more than nine to five, but you left that and you said, all right, this is my, you know, next era, right? This is the next thing I get to do in life. Why real estate? Why investing? Like, what was it like, what was that next step that you took when you quote unquote retired?
VC (12:55):
Surely, you know, actually when we got married, it all depends. You know, when the opportunity knocks, you gotta open the door. I always say that and you should embrace it. That’s what is the other thing, you know, and being consistent in, you know, in the things we do. So when we got married, I was in Ohio, Finlay, Ohio, and we moved to bay area. My peer group started talking about real estate, hold on, I’m a promotional consultant, but I’m meeting over the weekend and all, and they’re saying rental homes and investing over here and there. So when Neil and Monica were born, our two children, we started, we said, okay, let’s dabble into it. Right? So we started investing into single family homes and we were getting cash flows. Okay. Cash flows. Then we went to Arizona, we bought two homes in one day, then another home, another rental later on, on the internet, went to Georgia, bought over there, went to Texas.
VC (13:56):
So we kept on buying these single family homes 2005 while being working full time. Also, you know, we have a lot of free time. What we do with the free time is our own choice. So I became a broker and I declared it to the company. I’m a broker, but I’m not going into that profession. So that helped me a lot to really start building my side hustle. Let’s say, you know, in real estate. So when I retired in 2015, I started a company in 2014, December, November, actually. And that is monil investment group, our kids name, Monica and Neil kind of put together. But before that, I had another company with a big major partner. I was not major partner. And then we sold all the assets in that one, you know, later on. But this Moni investment group has seven companies now in the last seven years. And it’s got monil senior living, monil management, monil you name it academy multi-family academy, then hospitality, Mon hospitality, and all these different, you know, crypto. And now we are going into Bitcoin mining, Mon mining just got built last 10 days. What
AJV (15:17):
, I mean, I love this so much because you are the epitome of alright, it ain’t over till it’s over. Right. And I love that. And I think too, like one of the things that really stands out at me, it’s like, we always think that somehow there’s these great overnight success stories, but the more that you talk to people you learn, no nothing is overnight, nothing is immediate, it’s all gradual, it’s all consistency. Right? And it’s like, you start doing this and then you do a little more and then a little more and then a little more. So I wanna kinda talk about your personal brand for just a minute, because in addition to doing everything that you’re doing with investments and real estate you also have these academies and you’ve got these books and you’ve got podcasts. Like you’ve got a lot going on. So what I wanna know is why write a book? Why have an academy, like when you have so much going in this one area, what made you think, no, I’ve gotta leverage my personal brand and my knowledge, and I wanna put that to work and education and information.
VC (16:22):
You know, my main passion is really to make 1 million millionaires. What, I mean, that’s a pretty big goal, but if you look at 8 billion people on the planet, you know, and I think how many I was told out of eight, 4 billion have internet. I really believe that you could pass the information through the internet online education, and that can be spread all over the globe. So that has been my passion. I’ve recorded maybe 1,300 lectures right now, which can really manually teach everything that I do even better. And again, with all the tools and things, and we have dropped it down to 330, 6 of them into a course where people can really learn everything and everything. But writing book also makes the author really dig deeper into themselves. And they even, I say teaching is twice learning. I always say that because you try to perfect the art because you are going out in the open to tell other people about it in simpler ways.
VC (17:32):
I just have to say that I, you know, in Scottsdale, we finished the trip, right. You know, last week. So mark ter Hanson and crystal Hanson invited me for dinner. And as you know, mark ter Hanson wrote that book chicken. So for the soul, they sold 500 million copies, the number one writer, author in the world. So they want to write a book on me. I said, what they said, Winnie, we wanna write a book on you, fictional character, but your life and that book, fictional book is getting more coverage and people are learning about the principles much better. Anyway, I thought I might, it’s been on my mind. And I told them yesterday that yes, I gave permission. And we’ll be now doing interviews and all, and then hopeful. Yeah.
AJV (18:25):
I mean, I think that is just a, it’s a Testament too, of what a personal brand is all about. Right. It’s becoming known for something that you wanna be known for. And it’s like, I love what you said. It’s like teaching is just choice learning. Yes. Right. And I think there’s so much power in what you said of like writing a book or even creating a course or creating content in general really is more self-reflection of what do I have to say? Yeah. And how do I wanna say it? And it’s an R to fine tuning your message in a way that it reaches this very specific audience, but then two was like, you’ve got this enormous goal of helping a million people become millionaires. Right. And a part of that is it’s information, right. It’s education. And so one of the things that I wanna share with the audience today, anyone who’s listening is Vinney has made one of his books available.
AJV (19:19):
And e-copy so if you go to Vinny chopra.com Ford slash freebook. Right. So Vinney, V I N N E Y Chopra, C H O P R a.com Ford slash freebook. I’ll make sure to put that in the show notes, but you can go and grab an E version of one of his books. And I just, I love so much that you’re, you’re leveraging all of your success to help other people have success. And I think that’s really incredible. And I think that’s a power of a personal brand and creating valuable information is that you’re helping other people succeed, but simultaneously you’re becoming more successful every single time someone else hits their goals. And I think that’s a beautiful part of this whole puzzle. And so I, I’m super curious. And then I wanna actually talk about, you know, investing your business through, you know, real estate and scaling, but I’m curious, it’s like, there’s a lot of things that you could do. So why a book? Why a course, like why, why those specific things for you?
VC (20:24):
I would say definitely no, that is passing down the knowledge so that in simpler terms and having people to really act on, right. A lot of people just read and read and read. I like to also hold them accountable. So I do group coaching, every Wednesdays in my masterminds. Then I have personal coaching, only four students. I take a year that way, but that’s just one part of my thing just to give back forward, give giving. Then other side of my business is really getting into the deals and the structures and raising money. That’s what I’m good at. I just waste 4.5 million in three hours on vacation, literally. And you know, and I’ve got four interviews this week with my half a million dollar investors who are very already seen the package, cuz I’m buying $65 million multi-family right now. And then also crypto Bitcoin mining is very big in my mind.
VC (21:25):
And we, even though the stock, I mean, crypto Bitcoin went to 31,000 or whatever, 32, we can mine it at 12,000. So still there is a huge, huge profit. And that’s what I’m very, very excited about right now. Then hotels that’s the other one and senior living is my other one. So I mean every angle it’s kind of like, I give some time to this pocket this time, this, this, this. So I always have believed in, you know, AJ that you never should say, I can only do this or this or this or this, but always replace the R with an a and D and just your subconscious and your brain will just, you know, become so infer. I say, when you say I can do this and this and this and this and this, that has been the real success principle for me to really send it out in the Cosmo with the law of attraction.
VC (22:31):
Like the book was the secret, right from Rhonda burns, which is kind of going for the last, you know, a hundred years, what we think, what we conceive and we send strong signals all around us in the Cosmo. You don’t even know how it’s gonna happen. I don’t even know what, how these things are under unraveling right now. but it’s been all these energy going out so much things are coming back in my life to make my life easier and expanding exponentially is the word like today. I had a meeting with the great, great partners who are taking my lectures, redefining the lectures, and they’re giving a 52 week drip system to build wealth. Mm-Hmm to become millionaires. And now we are talking, how could we do these bits of pieces of them, 54 pieces, and then going through just like what you teach. Right. You know, I mean, it’s so exciting, you know then, then I just got the new platform, high level platform in the SAS system. I always like to be cutting edge. I want to get the best of the best that’s offered right now so that we can exponentially grow.
AJV (23:56):
You know, it’s interesting. It’s like, although you’re doing a whole bunch of different things, there is a common through line. And you know, we talk a lot about that at brand builders group, but it’s, you really have the common through line, the common thing in every component of what you’re working on is investment. Yes. It doesn’t matter if it’s personal investment in learning or it’s real estate or Bitcoin or mining, or, you know, you know, senior living or hotels. It’s all about investments. Good, true. Right. It’s like, that’s that through line. So, you know, we talk about this a lot in brand builders groups. So for anyone who’s listening, who’s been around for a minute, you know, that we really much believe that you break through the noise by becoming known for one thing mm-hmm . But once you break through the noise for that one thing, you can start to splinter.
AJV (24:45):
Right. And it’s like, now you’re doing a little of this and a little of that, but you’re doing all those little of this and a little of that, but it’s all through the lens of investment wealth building. Right. And I think that’s really important for everyone who’s listening of going, oh my gosh, well I’ll never be at that level. It’s like, no, you are. When you find that common, when you find that common thing that you’re passionate about, that you’re really good at doing, which I do wanna talk about how do you raise several million dollars in on vacation? So we’ll talk about that in a second. But it’s like, once you find that thing that you’re naturally good at you’re superpower, it’s like, then you’re, I really do believe that your mind activates and it goes, and it’s like, it could come in this form and then this form, it’s just like, it’s the same thing with information.
AJV (25:27):
You could read it, you could hear it on a podcast. You could be in a coaching program, a Masterman program, a course, but it’s all the same information, but it’s how it’s delivered in a variety of mediums. That makes it unique. And I hear you saying invest investing is very similar, right? It’s like plenty of people invest in a 401k or in a Roth IRA. And it’s like, but there’s also real estate investing. And then even in real estate, you’ve got senior living, you have hotels, you have multi-family units, you have single family homes. It’s like, there’s all these different ways to expand it. As long as you know, what your focus is. And what I hear you’re saying your focus is really investment. Even when it comes to education, it’s personal investment,
VC (26:07):
You are so right about it. A is you are so right. Two streams just too very focused, you know, attack is of course on the passive investors who are rich , you know, I mean, I made a decision long time back. I could help and I would love to help everybody, but I think it, I can help better because the returns are so strong with the people with a hundred thousand investment, 200, 500 million, our top investors have 5 million with me now, you know, with our companies in different, different avenues. Right. And they’re making two times, three times, four times money. So that’s the investor side. The other side, my education is giving back to the society also is to the making more WIS , you know, out there kind of educating them, giving them the tools, tribulations, and worksheets and PowerPoints so that they don’t have to reinvent the system. Right. We reinvent the system, we lose time, energy and money
AJV (27:15):
and you know, I love that. Yeah, yeah. It, yeah. It’s two streams and I think that’s just so important and I, you know, I didn’t connect those until this conversation of it doesn’t matter if it’s education or it’s real estate, it’s really investment. It’s just different ways of getting there. Right. Knowledge, education. So, okay. So just a quick, a quick tip. Cause I have my idea of how I know you pull this stuff off, but I would love to hear your version of how you pull this stuff off. So how do you get someone to invest millions of dollars with you in a very short amount of time while you’re on a vacation? So, Chris,
VC (27:53):
I love it to give credit to Monica Chopra, our daughter, she’s our partner else in the business. You met her in Sarasota. She’s wonderful. She’s been with us seven years. Of course. And the good part is that we have in mail Chi designed these beautiful emails that we have used for previous undertakings, where we use raise money. We just clone it. What? Just clone it and put new information in it. Yeah. So we were able to, she was able to design it. She sent it test market while I was there sipping, you know, pina colada or something. And then she said, dad, should we send it out? And we did. We sent out to 1,330 investors we have in our database and we never talk to anybody. But in our bullets we share all the good information and then give them soft commitment forms, clickable links.
VC (28:54):
So as soon as they like the whole system and the brochure and everything, they click on it, then it goes into a survey automatically. And then when they fill out the survey, it goes into Google sheet in real time, in real stamping, we find out if they wanna put 200,300, 500 and so on, and then how will they believe will be investing? We have a whole questionnaire that way. So that’s how we raise that money. Then in the mail chip, it says, oh, so many people clicked and opened and how many did not open? So we resend it again. Mm-Hmm very quickly. So that increased even more. And I am planning to send it again this evening, you know, to see those so that everybody, because people have so little time mm-hmm, they say we come to it, we’ll come to it. It’s get to just put it on the top of their emails. Right. You
AJV (29:50):
Know? Oh, let me tell you what y’all I don’t know. Who’s been saying email marketing is dead, but they’re dead wrong. Oh, raising millions of dollars and email marketing right here with Vinney Chopra. I mean, I, I literally was, I was at, I don’t even remember where it was. It was a few months ago and they were talking about the power of, you know, social media, which I believe there’s great power in that. But I believe that social media that we don’t own, that that’s rented real estate. Right. The only real estate we own is our email list
VC (30:23):
In our, in our CRM. In our, I know you mentioned it. I think I saw that in Sarasota. You said your next customer is in your Rolodex, in your right school, literally, which is so true. I love texting also huge, huge fan of texting. So I copy the same message and it just paste it to all these people by million dollar investors, $5 million, I mean, you know, $500,000 investors and personalize it. And then they start conversing with me iPhone, and then we drop them into the zoom quick, you know, right there.
AJV (31:02):
Great. I think that’s such a great reminder of the power of your email list. And if you’re not building your email list right now, like if, if this was not clear enough, raising millions of dollars yeah. In an email blast, like let’s tune into what are you doing to build your email list, but not just build it, but nurture it right. Provide value to it. That’s huge. Like that’s a really big deal to raise millions of dollars off of, you know, 1300 investors is a really big deal. You know, we, some of us have email lists of 10, 20, 30, 5000 thousand people and couldn’t raise that much money with a launch. So I think there’s one thing in building a great email list in terms of numbers, but there’s a difference in having a quality email list versus just a quantity of an email list. I’m
VC (31:49):
So glad you said it, AJ. Now this was mail Chimp. I used the word that’s very sacred for us. That’s 1,330 investors, but my active campaign list is 14,000 mm-hmm . Aha. So it’s from there, we reap the benefits and then people who like to really invest with us, we bring them from there into the MailChimp side. Mm-Hmm
AJV (32:13):
yeah, yeah. It’s quantity and quality are two very different things if we all know. But I love that. And it’s the power of email marketing. It’s the power of providing real value. And I love too. It’s like you’re giving them a qualifier form. You’re letting them take those soft steps in. So you’re softening up that opportunity as you go so many great tips and just little taxes that we can all use, no matter what our business is. Right.
VC (32:40):
Sense urgency. I should definitely mention that. I get sold out very quickly because I tell them it’s first come first served. Even if you have 5 million with me before I will not put you above the line, you got to make that commitment. It’s time stamped and everything. Mm-Hmm that’s first thing. Then we gonna send out the PPM, private placement memorandum, the legal paperwork, that’s the next step raise to the horse. You know, they gotta fill it out quickly. Da who signed third step. They gotta wire the money. Nobody gets into the deal until the wire comes into the account. So we also have that time stamped also
AJV (33:23):
I mean that, I think again, that’s good old fashioned sales, right? How to create that limit, that sense of urgency. Yes. Something that moves people to action. That’s that’s 40 years of amazing sales that work right there, Vinney , I’m putting it to
VC (33:38):
Work. And you know, I collect almost 98 to 99% of my commitments, which is unheard of in the syndication world. It’s very unheard of. Even my coach told me, Vinney, you gotta get twice as many commitments to get half of it, money collected to buy anything. But somehow in the other, I always felt that if I can educate my investors nicely, not selling them, nobody wants to be sold at all. But as a consultant and show them all the different avenues, what can go wrong or whatever, and then make them understand right about the investment they will endear to you. And the more open you are, more trustworthy, you are, they will bring money more and more and tell more people about it and everything
AJV (34:31):
True.
VC (34:31):
So we collect almost 99% of soft commitments into hard commitments.
AJV (34:37):
Yeah. That’s awesome. You know, I heard this the other day and I’m paraphrasing it, but it’s, it’s really simple provide value, build trust. Yeah. Right. The more value that you provide, the more trust that you build. Right. that’s so good. So, okay. You kinda mentioned something that’s gonna kind of transfer us into the second part of our conversation. So we’ve got, you know, 15, 17 minutes left here. So we wanna talk about investing, right? So your personal brand is all around investments. It comes in a variety of formats. But you you’ve chosen a very distinctive, you know, path post your corporate retirement into this world of investing. And a lot of people don’t know what real estate syndication is. And so fill in like, what is that?
VC (35:24):
It’s very simple syndication. If you do the word, you know, in the Wikipedia or dictionary, it’s pooling of money together of likeminded people for profits. And you could, you know, syndicate to raise money, to buy a plane and put the plane to use. And that is where the profits will be generated. You could buy apartment building, which I’m in quite a bit and hotels, you could buy office building mobile home park. You could build a company, you know, a VC company mm-hmm , you could build a startup. So all these companies are syndications. Every single thing in America is syndication of pulling of money. Even the stock market. It’s a form of syndication because people are buying stocks and giving money. And they’re looking at the profits of the company and all that. So syndication is a great way. Secondly, you could do leveraging that’s the word I wanna talk about in real state world, in America and around the world, it’s a leverage situation.
VC (36:34):
When you buy in Mar in stock market, Google stock, you have to pay a hundred percent of it cash or do margins or do options and all that more risky. But in real estate, guess what? You come up with 25% of the money. The bank comes along, they look at the property. They say, yeah, we feel comfortable. We’ll give you 75% of the money. What you bring only 25. They give you three times more and you give the whole hundred to the seller. Now you own the property. What the bank says, just pay us the interest only loan for five years or three years, or give us interest and principle, you know, principle, payback, Orlu payment. We call it right Uhhuh. But now you made that property increasing value. The bank says, you keep all the profits, you keep all the equity. You’re not gonna take any equity out. You. I mean, this is the craziest thing.
VC (37:48):
First of all, you put a hundred thousand, you are buying $400,000 worth. And when the 400,000 increases to 40 million now 40,000, all that gain is yours to keep, oh my gosh. And the tax laws say, depreciation, what is that? Depreciation is that your building is going to be worth zero. If you buy it for 1 million. After 27 and a half years, taxation code says it’ll be worth zero. And you can deduct the losses every year. but the best part is your property might be triple this price or quadruple the price. So it’s a whole different ballgame, leverage depreciation, tax benefits, economies of scale. The reason I got into multi-family, we had single family homes, like I mentioned, right, all over USA, but then it’s each home. You know, you have to take care. Our management companies taking care. I never took care of toilet, trash and termites.
VC (39:01):
We call it three DS, but the property management companies took care of it. Right? But then when we started buying apartments, we were having 20 homes in one place, kind of because 20 units, you collect rent from all 20 and they’re paying the mortgage down. That’s the other part. I didn’t talk about that deposition and all that. And bank is separate. Now comes to residence. Mm-Hmm your rent pays your mortgage balance down. What? So by the time you sell maybe later on or keep it, you may not even owe anything. You got all the deductions and that’s just a crazy thing. So essentially I would say multifamily caught my attention office buildings. And you know, what was that strip shopping centers? I looked into those several places, being an engineer. My mind is very small, very small. My brain is small. So I said, okay, let’s just stay multifamily. That’s it. So I stayed, the course bought a duplex. We still own it. in Odessa, Texas. But then I bought 14 units for 180,000. And then from there to 2 million, 5 million, 20 million, then 52 million was my number one. Now it’s 65 million. The one I’m just buying right now. Look at that from a duplex. Yeah. In a few years you can, you know, you can scale
AJV (40:34):
Up. That’s amazing. So, but
VC (40:36):
It’s the only reason AJ, because I’m able to get money from my family, friends, people I know. And they gave me money. That’s the power of syndication.
AJV (40:47):
That’s amazing. I mean, it’s, it’s a pulling of funds. Yeah. Where everyone wins.
VC (40:52):
Yeah. Everybody wins.
AJV (40:53):
Everybody, everyone wins.
VC (40:55):
70, 30 splits means our investors get 70% of 30 returns and the cash flow, I get only 30, which is great, but they, you know, get benefit and we get benefits to
AJV (41:09):
You. Oh, so much of the win-win I love this. And I think the, that, there’s a couple of things that you said that I wanna kind of go back to, and I’m just curious for everyone who’s listening. Who’s going, I’m at a place where I know I need to be investing specifically in real estate, cuz right now, if you’re not investing, your dollar is losing money, right? Yes. You just have dollars in the bank. You are losing money at the rate
VC (41:30):
7% each year.
AJV (41:31):
It’s insane. So it’s, we’re not really at a time of like, you know, should I invest? It’s like, no, what are you going to invest in? Cause otherwise your money is literally losing its values sitting where it’s sitting. So you went residential versus commercial. Why?
VC (41:48):
The reason is because of economies of scale, because instead of having single family or duplexes all over in different cities and different because you don’t wanna buy everything in one place, mm-hmm , you know, that market can go up and down. It’s good to diversify, which I teach very big. But the other part is by having so many units at one place, you are able to economize in the repairs, in collecting rents in management, and then your value increases. Also, if the neighborhood goes up, your value increases, single family homes, values don’t increase as appreciably as in multifamily because it’s the net operating income, which is a multiple of the cap rate, which brings the value up. So that’s where we buy C plus B minus I say, and now I’m buying a because I can afford and raise a lot of money, all that. Now we are buying it for 65 million. I think this deal and 20% returns per year, we are projecting for our investors and three years we’ll be able to give their money back and make their money 1.7 times. So if somebody gives me a million today, I will give them 700,000 gain in just three years.
AJV (43:13):
That’s a love it. Well, I think too, especially in this world that we’re living in where how much of a virtual environment are we gonna stay in? Yeah. It’s like, regardless of people ever return to offices, they’re always gonna need places to live. Sure. Right. and so that kind of leads me to my second question. And I don’t know, what’s, you know, it’s like this doesn’t have to be academic, but I’m just curious on your perception with millennials. Yes. Younger millennials specifically. And then the rise of gen Z, right. Which, you know, Monica is, you know, in the verge of this millennial gen Z era, I’m curious, like, what are your thoughts on the importance of how you invest in money in terms of, you know, multi, multi, how like multi-family housing units versus single family homes. Because I’m just so curious, like how many of these people are going to want to buy? I have so many people that I know that are in this younger millennial generation where it’s like, they don’t want to, yes. It’s a decided choice that they’re choosing to rent because they want the freedom and flexibility.
VC (44:16):
You know, you hit the nail in the head. I talk about three tsunamis flowing through the world and USA one is the millennial and Zen Z, just like you said, they like portability. They don’t wanna move lawn. They want to be moving into remote areas and working from laptop, enjoy the beaches and this condominiums renting. So portability is number one on their mind. They don’t wanna be tied down. Some of them saw their parents lose their homes in the last recession or something. Right. So that is a huge, we are investing. It’s a rental rental nation. We call it, we are a rental nation, you know, rent. Yeah. Rental nation, renters nation. Second one is our tsunami, which is a silver tsunami. 10,000 baby boomers are turning 65. So seniors are growing more and more and more 10,000 every single day. So there’s a simple tsunami going through. The third tsunami I talk about is the immigration, the immigrants coming, our population growth is very low. 2.4%, you know, and with the death rate and all. So we do need influx of other nationalities and different people coming through. So three tsunamis are all making USA, a renter nation again. So we have been renter nation. We have so much shortage. 20 billion units are shortage in America right now, 20 million. Even if I built so many apartments still, we will not be able to capture it.
AJV (45:57):
That’s insane. And I love this. And I heard you talk about this just as a tiny bit in Sarasota around these three tsunamis. So I just wanna repeat this for everyone. We’ve got this generational tsunami with gen Z and millennials who don’t necessarily wanna settle down and buy a home. They wanna be flexible and move from city to city or place to place in this, you know, laptop living world, which I think is fascinating. And only growing with the natural, you know, distant work environment that we’re experiencing with virtual work. Second is the silver tsunami. Right? And I wanna kinda go back to one of the steps. You said, you said 10,000,
VC (46:39):
Every night turned into 65 years of age. So there are so many, I’m 70, I’ll be 70 this year, right? August. But up to 2031, what almost nine more years, all these people who are in the sixties, you know, on 61, 62, 63, 64, all the way, the last person will turn 65. you know, in the silver age we call it. It’s huge, huge demand. And we are living longer. Yeah. So 70 years population is also growing 4 million a day. Oh 4,000 a day, sorry, that’s 10,000 at 65, I think six or so thousand into 70 and then 4 million in 80 and above. So I’m mostly in the assisted senior living space also where we are building from ground up, these beautiful, beautiful complexes, brand new with movie theaters, with spa, with, you know the, the billiard rooms and grand pianos and the private Dunning halls and big Dunning halls and also jacuzzi and what the spas and all
AJV (47:58):
That. That’s not your typical senior living in bar city. But I think that’s amazing because that’s true. It’s like people are living longer and they want better quality of life. No one wants to go to what you think about now, when you think about a retirement home, it’s very yucky and scary. And quite honestly like what kid wants to put their parents in that, right. That’s not ideal, but you’re, so I think this is amazing because it’s like, we’re saying 10,000 a day, you’re entering into this and all these people are living longer. It’s like, where are they gonna go? Right. When they are not able to stay into their home, they’re not able to upkeep it or they don’t want to. And so you’re, you’re doing a ton in this senior living environment. Like, like what do you think is the potential for this particular a real
VC (48:44):
I’m setting my goal at 2 billion, with a B billion in this decade, rest of the decade, I’m doing five projects right now in Florida and Virginia Williamsburg, Virginia should be opening up end of October. Beautiful, beautiful place. If anybody would like to, you know, watch and see and meet me there. That’s Hampton Manor is our brand Hampton, a M PTO N manor.ceo is the website, but Williamsburg, Virginia, Chesapeake, Virginia, we are building. Then in Punta go, we just opened up. We are not even open yet. We are 60% occupied already. We are not even open yet. So people have already given us deposit. And as soon as we open the door, they’re going to all seniors will be coming in. And even the corner of Florida is coming. I just found out yesterday to our facility. There’ll be a big, big write up on our communities because what we are building. So that’s gonna be great. Cape coral. We built it. Palm bay, Sebastian vane Jacksonville, Mari island. So building in all these locations then St. Louis, then Texas, we are coming Nashville. We are coming Nashville. I know we all over
AJV (50:04):
USA. I’m harassing VI like, come on. When are you coming to Nashville? You have two investors waiting on you. This is the it’s incredible. Like I think this is amazing. And then the immigrants tsunami. Yes. Right? Which again, renters I think this is really interesting in hearing this perspective of one syndication where you don’t hold all the responsibility. You don’t hold all the liability. Yes. But you’re pulling it together to do something larger. Right. but then it’s this, I love this multifamily housing component. Especially when you get into like 5,000 units, plus it’s really exciting. And then what I’m most interested is you senior living? Like, I think that is fascinating mainly because it’s so needed. It’s so needed to reimagine what senior living looks like for this, you know, next 10 to 20.
VC (50:54):
No, that’s so true. What you said, AJ, our goal, our motto is let’s spoil the seniors. Yeah.
AJV (51:01):
Love that.
VC (51:02):
You know? I mean, we want them dignified life, respectful life, cuz that’s their golden years. I love that. And we start at like 3,300, I think is the amount which includes all the meals, rents, all the ADLs activities are daily, living, caregiving, linen, laundry, everything included, transportation, all that. And then the care of service. If they need us, it might go to 4,000 or 4,500 and seniors don’t have to pay a penny because there are certain livings where you have to buy a condo or something. Hours are rental units. They are five to seven acres of land. One story, no two story, no elevators and courtyards are built with the waterfall functions, but in greens and swing pools and other things so that, and they can put vegetable garden outside. Just enjoy the life. Yeah.
AJV (52:05):
Oh, I love that. I, I mean, I think too, it’s like, my dad is 70. He turned 71 this year. Yes. And I, you know, I’ve heard him tell me if it comes down to putting me in a home or killing me, just kill me. And I think a lot of that comes down to this mentality around there’s a, a horrible association with, there’s gonna be no quality of life. Right. I don’t wanna be in this stale hospital-like place. And I’m like, well, dad, we’re not killing you. No. So we need other options. And I love this because I think this is so needed and it’s so necessary. It’s not going away. It’s only growing and that’s the power of investing and specifically in this way. And I love this concept of syndication. I think it’s so cool. I could just like sit here and talk to, we didn’t even, we haven’t even scratched surface of Vinney’s knowledge and
VC (52:57):
Exactly. If other people who are asking, listening to us, if you say to AJ, you know, bring Winnie back, I’ll be here whenever you need me.
AJV (53:06):
I mean, between crypto and you know,
VC (53:11):
So my gosh, I didn’t talk about the cyber security. My company is doing really well with the venture capital fund that we have also started with my partner, our, our, you know, I’m thinking about bit mining, maybe going to NASDAQ, you know, up there. And also the re small re that I have in the back of my mind. So we are just, you know, mind is a good thing. Right. You know?
AJV (53:34):
Absolutely. and I think this too, it’s like, I know most of you probably aren’t watching our video, you’re listening, but Vinney couldn’t look further away from 70. If he tried it’s, there is power in keeping your mind active and keeping business and keeping just full of life and busy of doing things that you enjoy. That keeps you young. Like the joy, all of this is just, it’s amazing.
VC (54:03):
ADI, you said it. You know, my grandpa, he passed away at 94. He was driving our Indian friends. They might know the traffic in new Delhi. It’s pretty bad. He was driving at the age of 91. What at 91, able to see and manure the car and everything. That’s the thing I will, I’ll be 70 in August. I wanna be like him. so that’s my picture. I need to really vision board myself to for next 25 years. So that’s, you know, that’s be 95, you know, it’ll be fun. And my wife says, oh my gosh, you’ve been talking 17 hours. Aren’t you tired? I said, no, not really. I can go for next 17 hours now.
AJV (54:50):
Oh, I bet. That’s how it feels when you’re doing what you love. Right. It’s how it feels.
VC (54:55):
Never a work. No, not at all. I,
AJV (54:58):
Oh, I love it. I love all of this. Y’all I think this is just so fascinating. Not only do I think it’s awesome that you should check out Vinney and follow him. Because he’s got this awesome personal brand that’s growing out of really just a desire to help other people succeed. And it’s like a Ziglar used to say, if you help enough people get what they want, then you can also get what you want me too. And you’re so living back. And so Vinney, when it comes to social media, do you have a preferred platform? Like where should people go to stay in touch with you?
VC (55:29):
Oh my gosh, you just go Google Vinney Chopra. You’ll come with 1000 pages. I, somebody told you, and then you could go on Instagram, smiley, Winnie I’m smile a lot. You know, you could go on Amazon, Winnie smile, Chopra, Winnie Chopra. You could go to Facebook. Youtube channel is growing big time. Tiktok is also getting bigger now Pinterest. They started and of course, iTunes and bus bar. I mean, all my, you know podcast that I’m doing and my live show is every Friday live at nine 30 wi and Bo show my partner and I do it together. No, it’s been fun. It’s been fun. I’m writing a book by the way, Uhuh, my third book is gonna be this one. Oh,
AJV (56:20):
You’re
VC (56:20):
Living, investing made easy look
AJV (56:22):
At, I love.
VC (56:23):
So it’s almost half done. And then of course I’m gonna be coming up with my big book with mark Victor Hanson and his company is going to be, you know, he just personalized it last week. You know, when we met, oh, I don’t know if
AJV (56:39):
Cool, love this
VC (56:40):
With a great book ask. And they’re gonna write a fictional story on me, which I’m very excited about
AJV (56:47):
You. Oh my goodness. So we’ll put all of these different links in the show notes so that you guys can connect with Vinney. And then don’t forget, go to Vinney chopra.com/freebook. Yes. Grab a copy of his book. Follow him on social, subscribe to his podcast. If you wanna learn about growing your personal brand through watching someone else do it, which is what he’s doing. And also learn about the power of real estate investing check him out stay tuned after our recap episode that I’ll do after this Vinney. Think this, thank you so much for being on the show.
VC (57:22):
Thank you, AJ. Thanks to you and R you guys are doing amazing. God bless you.
AJV (57:28):
And thanks everyone. We’ll catch you next time on the influential personal.

Ep 306: How to Dominate on YouTube with Evan Carmichael

RV (00:02):
Oh, you don’t even know about the powerful interview you are about to hear right now. My man, Evan Carmichael, first of all, is a genius. He’s so successful. I mean, he sold his first company when he was 19 years old, a biotech firm biotech software company. He’s raised 15. He was raising 15 million for venture capitalists when he was 22 years old. And he’s done so many things for entrepreneurs today. He is known for a lot of things. What we’re gonna talk about is specific his genius strategy on YouTube. And when I say genius, I mean, he’s got over 3 million subscribers on his YouTube channel. He did a, he did a, a training, a full, like a 90 minute training for our members inside our portal for our pain community. And it just absolutely blew my mind and, you know, Lewis Howes and Brendan Burchard and grant Cardone and ed Mylett like Gary V like all of these people are people that look to Evan for advice and ideas on YouTube. So I was like, I’m begging him, please come back on the podcast so that we could sell everybody our entire community at large. So Evan, welcome to the show, man. Thanks
EC (01:17):
For having man. Always, always an honor to be here talking to the one and only rory Vaden. Let’s go, man.
RV (01:22):
Yeah. So you’re such a beast on YouTube. How do I get, how do I become a beast on YouTube? Like what, what do, what are the key things I need to know to just like start dominating on YouTube?
EC (01:36):
Yeah. Okay. So listen to position it let’s go here. Youtube is, is an education platform. Like I think a lot of people think of it as, as entertainment and fun and movies and music. Cool. But YouTube is, is the number one education platform. So, you know, people are trying to figure out how to be, become a more influential leader. Where are they gonna go? They’re gonna go to the library. Like, who are they gonna talk to? They’re gonna talk to their mom, like what they’re gonna go and search and your stuff will pop up and not just your videos, but again, other people’s videos, this content that people are going there to learn. And so YouTube is different than any, every other platform where we wanna be making long form content, teaching people because ahead of whatever, we’re trying to sell, we wanna put information.
EC (02:19):
We wanna put education, okay. We’re teaching people at scale to then bring them into whatever the thing is that we’re selling coaching products, program services, books, et cetera. And the beauty of something like YouTube is one your, your contentless forever. So the videos you make now in a year and two years, and six years are still getting your views, subscribers, attention leads, et cetera, where every other platform it goes away, right? Like Instagram, nobody cares what you posted a week ago. It’s instant, it’s Instagram, it’s gone. Every other platform’s the same. Youtube has the best monetization. So they’ll pay you, right? Like you could be making seven figures just from the ad revenue on your videos, as well as actually building your business. And the best part about YouTube is you can take the content since it’s long form and splice it up to put on all the other platforms.
EC (03:07):
So YouTube will tell you the best moments in every video, according to what the audience cared about, those little highlight moments, you can then tweak and put them to Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and all the other platforms. So all you really have to do is have a regular show long form on YouTube. And now we’re creating content everywhere. Most of the people listening, watching your goal is not to be a full time, just content creator. You got a business that you’re trying to run. We’re, we’re trying to build our membership groups and our coaching services and be a speaker and all of that stuff. And so you don’t have time to all day, every day, be on every single platform. You don’t have to be long form from YouTube, take the data, cut it up to be on every platform. So it kind of sits above all the other social media platforms. And most importantly, to help people’s message get out, to change the world.
RV (03:49):
Yeah. So I wanna dive in on something you just said there, because if we don’t highlight it, it’s easy to miss it. And this is such a tactical thing that you can do where, so the idea of repurposing your content, right? So a lot of people talk about that. We have a thing we teach called the content diamond, which is, you know, taking long form content and dividing it up. But part that you added, you know, specifically, at least to my education, which was so brilliant, was making that a data driven selection to figure that out. So can you talk about like, where do you go on YouTube and what are you clicking on? Like I know you just gotta talk us through it, cuz it can’t like show the screen, but, but what exactly are you looking for? Because just that, that one tip alone goes, if you win on YouTube, even if you don’t win on YouTube, if you suck on YouTube, but you can figure out the moments that win, like you can use that to inform everywhere else. So, so talk more about that.
EC (04:52):
Youtube has the best data platform of all of all those social media networks. And I love the data and I can geek out on it all day long and, and dive into it. It’s overwhelming for a lot of people. The only thing you have to care about is this, the audience retention curve, like write that down. If you don’t know what I’m talking about and you think you might at someday want to start a YouTube channel, come back to that, write it down. It is your golden ticket. The audience retention curve. What that does is show you second by second, where people are either falling off your video or sticking around second by second. So if your intros are really bad, it’ll show you, you lost half your audience in the first 20 seconds. Cool. Like let’s not do that again. And it’ll show you these little flat moments and a flat moment means you never lost anybody.
EC (05:38):
Like whatever you did in that moment was really good. Right? You held their attention that whole time. Think of it. Like if you ever watched those elections and like the election debates and there’s like the red and the blue in America, right? Mm-Hmm and you, you like which, who are you liking more? And they’ve got these people in the audience who are kind of neutral people or supposedly neutral. And they’re like, they’re they’re as the person’s talking, you see the blue line go up where the red line go up. It’s kind of like that on your videos. And it’s completely free. You don’t have to pay for any service or anything else. It’s built into YouTube natively in their analytics. So when it’s a flat line, when it’s a down line, then, okay, that sucks. We need to fix that. Don’t do that again. But
RV (06:12):
A flat moment is good.
EC (06:14):
Flat moment is good. That means you’ve kept their attention. So if you have a flat moment, that’s 40 seconds long. Cool. What happened there? Let’s turn that into a tweet. Let’s turn into an Instagram reel. Let’s turn that into something else. And then you have these rare moments, these special moments where it goes up, well, how does it go up? Like we lost people. We understand why it goes down, but how did we gain people in the middle of the video? Doesn’t make sense, right?
RV (06:36):
Because most people drop off like in the first few seconds or whatever minutes is the big fall off, but then you, it doesn’t just go down. There’s these spikes.
EC (06:46):
Yeah. So why does the spike, like how does that make sense that new people join the video halfway through?
RV (06:50):
Right.
EC (06:50):
Usually not usually what the case is, is the people who are currently watching REW that video to watch that part again, it’s like, what did Rory just say? What was that thing again? And they rewind it to watch that part again, that’s your goal. And that may be 20 minutes inside of your video, but that’s what we cut. And one, we wanna make more content like that, like that can educate you to make better content. But then that also, that’s what we cut. So the flat moments or the spikes, that’s what we cut to take to our other social media accounts because we know that that’s popping. And a lot of people who are making content, whether they’re doing it themselves or they have team, there’s a lot of subjective decisions that go in. It’s like, well, I like that part. And I like this moment and I think we should do here. And there’s a lot of wasted time to be honest and going back and reviewing and watching the footage again. And then relying on one person’s subjective opinion to make the call on what goes through the platforms to make your, your diamond. The data will show you. It’s a lot easier, just look at where we help people on the video and let’s take that to our other platforms.
RV (07:51):
That’s, that’s so powerful. Like what a simple, practical thing to go. There’s no guesswork, like, just look at where people are watching it. So we’re looking, so if something’s flat, that’s like good. That’s solid. If somebody, if something drops, we go, let’s not do that again. But then if it’s a spike, you go, man, that’s, those are your moments that you want to cut it, clip it, repurpose it, use it. Other places love that. So audience retention curve, that’s the name of like the widget in the back, the back end of YouTube that we’re looking for.
EC (08:22):
Yeah. For every video, give it a, give it a couple days after it goes out. And then on every video, just look at, click on the analytics tab for that video and scroll down and it’ll be right there. It’ll be this curve and it’ll show you how the video’s doing compared to your other videos. And it’ll show you the exact moments where people are falling off or engaging. So
RV (08:39):
Love it. Yeah. Here’s another com super common question. We get this all the time. How long should my videos be?
EC (08:47):
So for experts, thought leaders you have something to train on educators long, long, long, long, long, long. So the advice used to be 10 minutes plus, which is which it still is like as a minimum 10 minutes, a minimum 10 minutes, but the highest growth category we’re seen is in the one, the three hour category.
RV (09:05):
That’s insane. What, like who’s watching a
EC (09:08):
Youtube video for three hours, the, the, the entire world right. Like, think, think about if you’re gonna teach, if you’re gonna make a video talking about how do you become an influential leader? Where am I gonna learn that from nobody and the people who are sharing it, like go to YouTube and search. People are talking about it. Are they as good as Rory Vaden on that topic? No. It’s like somebody who came from Instagram and, you know, they’re 25 years old and still trying to figure it out, but they’re gaining a lot of traction and attention because people like you who actually know what they’re talking about, aren’t on the platform. So there’s giant demand and consumption and very little, very little supply period and, and almost no quality supply. So like, am I too early? Am I too late on YouTube? We’re just getting started inside of education.
EC (09:50):
So if I wanted to learn how to become that influential leader, if you did a four minute video, how much are you gonna teach me in four minutes? Not a lot, but if you talk for an hour or you did a coaching session with somebody, or you had a guest coming on, sharing something, people would watch that because it’s the best thing there available. And then when you’ve got your next launch, your book, your course, your program, your private memory, she like, I love this Rory guy nobody’s talking like him. How do I get more of him? And they want to pay for the access to get into everything that you’re offering.
RV (10:19):
And so you don’t worry about giving away too, too much there. I mean, like I mean, how many of those videos is, is it, is it kind of more like have one really killer two hour video? Or are you trying to like crank cuz to do that every week would be pretty tough not to mention, you know, if you did an hour long video every week, that’d be, that’d be a lot of content. Like what would you be charging for if you were giving away that much? So is it kind of like have a couple key key trainings out there and do it that way or
EC (10:52):
It depends what game you’re playing. Often the best thing to sell is access. So the best thing to sell is access to a community. So if you’re trying to sell your, your program, your community, which is awesome, I was able to, you know, had the honor to speak in front of, if you had a lot of long form content that was getting millions of views, you’re gonna convert a lot of those people to want to spend more time with you because they love how you think. Like, you’re, you’re a weird duck. You think differently than other people. Like I want to think the way Rory thinks and I wanna be around him more often. So I wanna join his community. It’s less about the actual ideas. A lot of, a lot of people have paid programs. A lot of the same content is in the YouTube video as in the paid program, it’s just packaged altogether.
EC (11:33):
So it’s easy to find it’s sequential, there’s community, there’s access. And so that’s really what we’re selling, not just the information I’m I put out, I’m giving you every, I got nothing to sell here. I’m giving you the best. Like you’re asking me questions. This is what I do. This is what I teach people will still some of the names that you mentioned want me to help them, their channel. I’m telling them the same thing that I’m telling you guys right now here on Rory Madden’s show mm-hmm right. So that I think builds credibility, builds trust, and it makes people want to have a deeper relationship with you and buy all of your stuff.
RV (12:08):
Yeah. And I know you’re, I know you’re, you’re not selling anything, but we are. If you go to brand builders, group.com/evan Carmichael Evan has this program called Brandly where he walks you through exactly how like every, every time he does a training, he’s reviewing these live videos, showing you the data, telling you exactly what to do. It’s a very affordable program and we were like, dude, you have to let us be an affiliate for this because it’s so good. Like this is Evan is the guy that we go to for this, and it’s gonna restructure our entire YouTube strategy. So you can check that out brand builders, group.com/evan Carmichael. And you’ll, you’ll see brand Alytics and all the people he’s working with. So you know, so anyway, so coming back to this conversation here another common question that we get a lot from our members is when do I need to start a separate channel versus just a different playlist? So like you know, like I’m a good example of that. So we have brand builders group, which teaches personal brand strategy and we help experts, you know, become more well known, build and monetize their personal brand. Then we have Rory Vaden who more classically is known in the more like leadership and personal development space. And so it’s like, can I do content for both on one channel? Do those have to be two channels? Like how do you demarcate, you know, channels versus playlists.
EC (13:41):
So first off, nobody consumes by playlists. So nobody’s like waiting for a new, no, nobody’s waiting for a new Evan Carle video to drop in this playlist, but not this playlist. Right? So where playlists are helpful, the, the biggest value of playlist is on your channel homepage. When somebody goes to your channel homepage, they can see what you’re kind of all about. Like, I just watch one or Eva, video’s my first, I’ve never heard of RO Badden before I watch a video. I like this guy. Hmm. Let me go check him out. They click on your channel. And then they see some of the content that you’ve got. And so that’s where you can structure your playlist, but it’s more of a conversion tool for first time viewers. And it is a consumption pattern for ongoing viewers or repeat viewers. Mm. In terms of a different channel, if it’s a different audience, it’s a different channel. So the easy one is language, right? I have a Spanish channel with almost million subscribers. I have a Russian channel with almost a million subscribers. It’s a different audience, cuz most of my audience does not speak Spanish or Russian some do. But if, if you love my channel, you just first met me and then half my content is in Russian and you don’t speak Russian. You’re gonna not consume most of my content. Right. Because it’s just in a it’s it’s a different audience. So that’s the easy one to understand
RV (14:51):
So different audience, different channel. But like in that case, it’s the same content, but it’s translated. So you’re just taking your, your English based content and translating it to Russian and Spanish. And now you’ve got another 2 million subscribers that way that’s brilliant in and of itself. But if it’s, if it’s the same person, it could live on the same channel. If it has to be a different person, different channel,
EC (15:16):
Not necessarily person. So I mean the, the language is that’s, that’s basically applying the diamond strategy as well. Right. We’re we’re repurposing content. It’s gotta be dub built. So like not just captions, like full on dubbed into that language. If you guys are going there. Okay. It can be the same. It can be different people on the same channel. And that might be weird for your channel cuz it’s called Rory Vaden. So like who is this Jennifer person showing up when it’s your name on it? But it’s audience. So are Rory’s too, like what is Rory known for? Are they, are they two completely different universes that would be completely different audiences or is there enough overlap between those two worlds that it all makes sense and fits under one Veda?
RV (15:57):
Yeah. I mean that’s part of what we’re trying to figure out. Right? Cause so take the stairs is very much personal development, you know, discipline my second book, how to multiply time. And my Ted talk is productivity. They’re very ubiquitous, personal development topics. Brand builders group speaks specifically to experts to help them to help them become an author speaker. So most of my, my work as an individual is helping someone become a better performer at their job. Brand builders group is much more narrow where it’s like, I’m helping you become an author speaker, coach consultant you know, or, or we are. So it is some of the same people, but I’m not, I think they’re probably different. Well,
EC (16:37):
Even in how you presented it, he’s like I help people with this, but brand builders group, we do this right. So brand builders group could be its own channel and it doesn’t have to be the Rory show all the time. Yeah. As you build and scale and grow and bring on guest trainers and experts and coaches and all the people in underneath you, that’s the team channel that R’s the head of and creator and founder, but doesn’t have to be the face for everything where RO Vaden, we , we need to see Rori Vaden, cuz it’s called Roy Vaden. Yeah.
RV (17:07):
Mm-Hmm yeah. So different audience, different channel, but that’s the simple rule, like different audience, different channel.
EC (17:12):
And just in terms of making the content, you mean, you mentioned brand Linux and the offer. I mean, which is awesome. Love to have more people join in. The easiest type of content for a lot of experts to make is coaching. Half of the half of the content that I do live inside brand analytics is coaching people. It’s like, we pull up your channel. I would pull up if was in, I would pull up R’s channel. And it’s part of what, what we did for your group. Right? Like we pull up R’s channel and you just tear it apart in a loving way. But in a, like I’m not here to tell Roy Good job, Hey, you, you keep going, you know, do it Rory. It’s like, oh dude, this thumbnail sucks. Like we gotta fix this. Your intros are terrible. but given advice, not just critiques, but here’s how we fix it.
EC (17:50):
Yeah. And so even if, you know, if you’re teaching the same essential eight to 10 themes to the people you’re talking to coaching is usually a lot easier to do is a lot more fun to do. You don’t need a script to do you don’t need people to show up and give you a, a answers to like 18 questions before they come on. They’re just gonna show up and, and you’re gonna say, Hey, how can I help? And they’re gonna give you their problem. And they’re asking you questions that relate to your expertise. They’re not gonna ask you like gardening advice, right? Or maybe you’re expert gardener too. I don’t know. But coaching videos are easy to easy to make. It’s easier to go longer with cuz there’s always another level to helping them out. And if you think about going to an event, you know, you go to a Tony Robbin’s event. Like the, the best part is not the content. It’s the, it’s the, his interventions. It’s the, the one-on-ones where you see like, oh wow, you see the unlock happen in somebody. And so if you’re a great coach, this assumes you are a great coach. Like if you are not a great coach, you cannot do this because you’re gonna get exposed. And, and, but this is where a lot of people struggle. Like if you’re actually really good at what you’re doing and you’re a great coach, this is the content you should be making. Most people,
RV (18:57):
The clients get, how do you get around the clients being like, oh, you’re sharing my coaching call on your public platform. You just need to get permission from them in advance or something.
EC (19:06):
And not even permission, like please do me a favor. You, you pitch it as a benefit. So if I was talking to two people recently who are both New York times by selling authors, working on their next book. Right. I gotta sell my next book. Cool. Here’s what we gotta do. A lot of authors will sell access, right? So, Hey, if you buy a thousand topics in my book, you get a, a 20 minute call with me to help you out. Cool. That’s trading time for money and cool. You sold a thousand books, pitch it as also YouTube video, 25 minutes with me buy a thousand books and we’ll do a zoom call together. That becomes a YouTube video on my channel as well. And it’s, it’s the upfront and we’re getting paid to do it. So you can, you can recognize members if somebody’s in your membership group and they crossed over a year and they’re coming back for year two, offer them a free coaching call with you, right.
EC (19:54):
As a benefit or you upsell it as part of your sequence at the beginning, they’re buying into the membership group. Hey, if you also, for a thousand bucks, you get a one on one with Rory, that’s gonna be turned into a YouTube video. And Gary V does this all the time with his four DS. Like you, you spend $10,000 to go meet him for a day. And it’s mostly his team. And he shows up for an hour and talks to the members who paid 10,000 bucks to be there for the day and then, and then turns it into content for the YouTube channel. So it’s like you sell it as a benefit, not as a, like, please do me a favor and come on my channel because one-on-one access to Rory. Vaden is impossible, so you can buy it. And it gets turned into a YouTube video, but that’s a contract that gets set up in advance, not afterwards. Oh, do you mind if I turn it into content for
RV (20:37):
Yeah. Do it on the front end, gotta happen on front
EC (20:39):
End. And you use it as a, as a bonus for them that they’re paying for as opposed to like, please do me a favor
RV (20:45):
Uhhuh. Yep. Uhhuh. It’s like an incentive. You turn it into an incentive for them, like for them. And then you get the content out of it. So I know you have to go last question. And again, y’all brand builders, group.com/evan Carmichael, brand builders, group.com/evan Carmichael. You can check this out. Like I it’s insane how, I mean, I don’t remember the exact number, but I’m, this is less than a hundred dollars a month or a hundred dollars a month or something like it’s, it’s, it’s not a lot of money for what you get. Cuz it’s like, this could change your life. Like this is career changing stuff. So check, check that out. It’s so tactical, it’s gonna change our it’s changing our entire world. The, how do I find video editors? Right? So that’s that becomes a problem. Okay. I’m an expert, but I’m not an expert at editing video. You know, what I really need is I really need to hire a video editor and I need that person to go through your training. Is that doable? How do I do that?
EC (21:43):
Or the editing almost doesn’t matter. Like why are people listening to you? Because like, if you think about quality content, it, people default the production quality, like, oh, what microphone using their Rory and what’s your headset, right? And like, what’s the lighting, but nobody’s watching your stuff for your microphone. So the quality isn’t production quality it’s quality of thought. Can you teach ’em to think like you think? And so the mistake a lot of people make is they, if they’re doing it themselves at the beginning, a lot of people do this. You spend 20 minutes making a video and then five hours editing it. You’re training the wrong skill. You’re training yourself to learn editing software as opposed to training yourself, to be a better speaker where your ultimate goal should be to be a better speaker, train, spend five hours making a video and 20 minutes editing it or zero time editing it.
EC (22:34):
Because the ability to communicate your message in front of a camera will be a skillset you use for the rest of your life, whether YouTube exists or not. When, when we’re beaming into your, your living room in VR and eight holograms and all that, you’re still just talking to a camera. And so that ability to get your message out there is the thing to train and practice. So I wouldn’t worry about editing, being the most important thing, train yourself to be a great speaker, train yourself, to press record, deliver a fire message and then release that as a video. Because when you, when I go live on a podcast like this, when I get up on stage, when I’m doing interviews, there’s no edits. I mean maybe if I really mess up, Rory will do me a solid and like cut out that piece. But you get on stage isn’t edits. Like you can’t train yours. If you’re a speaker, you can’t train yourself to only communicate when you’re perfectly edited.
RV (23:21):
Yeah.
EC (23:22):
So we have to train ourselves to be great. It doesn’t mean that you completely disrespect the editing, but my goal would be to, Hey, let’s get your business up to the point where the content is helping you generate enough money, whether it’s through your coaching or your books or your programs, so that then you can afford to hire an editor to take it to the next level. But the editing will not save you. It’s quality of thought more than production quality.
RV (23:42):
And then one of the things we’re not gonna have time to talk about all this, but like, so it’s, it’s less the editing quality. It’s all about the content. And then if I was gonna spend time, I would wanna use, use that time to do things like optimized titles and thumbnails and, and you know, those kinds of things would be a better use of time.
EC (24:04):
Yeah. And, and paying attention to your audience, attention curve, cuz that’ll make you a better speaker too. Mm-Hmm but then you can take that and, and you know, what hits with the audience. So you can take that make maybe, maybe that spike is your next book. Yeah. Maybe that spike is your next training module. So pain. You don’t have to be the expert on all of those things. But knowing enough to be dangerous is important to then you can, you can hire somebody and, and give that work to. But yes, if I had a preference, I would definitely spend more time on, on watching my honest retention curve and working on my thumbnails and titles than worrying about the editing.
RV (24:41):
Yeah. Well, those of you that become members, or if you are a member, we had, we had Evan a couple months ago and it was that awesome, like going, going through it. And so that training is available. That is now a permanent part of our, our library. So if you’re one of our members go watch it. It’s amazing. If you’re not, I would say go check out brand builders, group.com/evan Carmichael and, and, and check out what Evan’s got going on with brand Lytics. And man, you’re so generous. And you know, at this point I’ve known you for so many years, I’m just, I’m just grateful and you really do believe in entrepreneurs and, and so thanks for helping us. Thanks for serving us and thanks for making time to, to come be on the show, brother. We wish you the best.
EC (25:22):
Cool man. Happy to, and happy to do round two whenever you want to.
RV (25:26):
All right. It sounds good. We’ll do it.

Ep 304: What You Need To Know To Hire The Right Talent with Matt White

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:53):
Hey everyone. And welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand. This is a J Vaden here. I’m one of your co-hosts. And today is super special. I always love it when I get to interview people that I actually work with. And so let me introduce you to Matt white. I’m gonna give you a little bit of his formal bio in just a second, but Matt and I have been friends for a really long time, but I became a client of Matt’s like what, three years ago? Mm-Hmm almost three years. And so I get to both speak on a friend and personal side, as well as on a, a professional client side. And you’ll get to learn a little bit about what Matt does, but I think the most interesting thing that you need to know about Matt is that he is the father to the coolest little kid named Salla, who my oldest child Jasper thinks hung the moon.
AJV (01:47):
And so that’s actually the coolest thing that you need to know about Matt is that he is dad of Salla, but okay, let me give you a little bit of his professional bio. Matt is a trusted advisor and a culture index consultant to CEOs at fast growing companies around the world. So if you’ve never heard of culture index one, you’re gonna learn a lot about it today. But you might be familiar with programs out there like engram or disk or Myers Briggs, and there’s a lot of things out there, but I think can be somewhat confusing. And here’s why our company brand builders group decided to partner up with Matt and use the culture index is it’s not a personality profile. And I think sometimes for me, at least culture index can be a little bit. What would I say?
AJV (02:40):
Not as well of a description as what it is, cuz it’s not about culture in your company, right? This is about finding the right culture of the position that you’re looking for and matching it with what is someone’s natural skill sets like their God-given talents, like who they are and how can you fit that to match the actual needs, the requirements of a position. And so Matt has been leading this endeavor at brain builders group. He does it with tons of clients around the.
AJV (03:11):
country. He happens to be located here in our hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. But today as a business leader, an entrepreneur, a leader of any kind or even if you’re just trying to lead a person of one this is the conversation for you. So you wanna stick around, we’re gonna talk about the culture index assessment, the profile but more importantly, how do you find higher and retain the best talent for your company? So that was the longest introduction ever, ever without what a good one. A good one. Please welcome Matt to the show. So while you’re here, thanks for being here.
MW (03:48):
Excited. Yeah. I’m excited. Thanks for the opportunity.
AJV (03:51):
Yeah, I’m so happy about this, so, okay. So tell people a little bit about how did you get into this? Cause you did not start as a culture index consultant working with CEOs. That’s not where you started. So I give our audience just a little bit of background about how you got to where you are.
MW (04:08):
Yeah. So I’ll act, I’ll go all the way back to college. So I was, I came outta college with a finance degree and I went straight into college ministry. And so a lot of people don’t know that, but I was actually in college ministry until I was 31. And so when I was 30, the first few years, and this is important to one of the things that you touched on about leading yourself was especially in your late twenties and or twenties and thirties, like it’s really about self discovery. And so early on in ministry, I was doing things that were right in my gifting and wiring and it was really fun. But then as it changed, I got kind of bored over time. And when I was 30, I realized my future was not vocational ministry. So then I was like, well, I’m behind the eight ball because I’ll be competing for jobs with people who are six and seven years younger than me.
MW (04:55):
So cuz I have no business experience. And so thankfully I been a member of a gym in Birmingham, Alabama that had just started one of my teammates from college kept recruiting me to come there and try it out. And I ended up going on staff with that startup and because it just really provided the, what I thought was the best opportunity for me to get a crash course in business because I had no business acumen. I just been doing whatever I wanted to do in ministry. And so I joined that when I turned 31 and then a year later became a partner, we franchised it. And so it was a fantastic environment to really learn like the ins and outs of business. I was studying under some great leaders and just cut my teeth in business that way.
MW (05:40):
And then in that process we scaled rapidly. And a few years in, we just didn’t see the growth that we thought we should have out of some of the other partners in the business, long story short, we were introduced to culture index. And so we actually became a client my last year there. And so, and it was kind of the same thing too with ministry. Like when I was starting out with the fitness, a lot of the things that I were, I was doing like opening gyms and leadership were really fun. And then some of my role changed by the nature of the growth of the business. And I just became less and less fulfilled in it. And so you know, as AJ mentioned, when we bring a client on, we train them for two days in how to interpret this data and mobilize it to fix the issues in the business and scale.
MW (06:31):
And so on the way out of the, the workshop that I was in as a client, I called the founder of culture index and said, Hey, my name’s Matt white. I wanna become your next licensee. What do I need to do? And so I became a licensee on the side while I was still doing fitness and you know, cause all of my eggs were in the basket of the fitness business, but then over time I just saw and I was just wrestling internally. I was working with my best friends in the business, but the actual work I was doing just wasn’t out of my skill. It wasn’t in my skillset. I wasn’t passionate about it. And I’d been reading the book of Ecclesiastes and six times in 12 chapters, Solomon says there’s nothing better for a person than that. He or she should eat, drink and find enjoyment in their toil. And it just hit me. And I was like, so I don’t care how much money I make. If I don’t enjoy what I’m doing, I don’t wanna do it. You know, the reality is we spend 70,000 hours of our lives at work. And so I decided to take a leap and move to Nashville and start culture index. And that’s how I got started.
AJV (07:33):
Ugh. I love that. And I think there’s so much brilliance in some of this for everyone listening of just remembering it’s like your path is gonna take different journeys and leaning into that and realizing I’m I know this is where I started, but that’s not where I wanna go. And that’s okay. I think so many of us try to like stick it out and make it work. And it’s like, why punish yourself? Like why punish yourself? Because you’re too afraid to go out and do something that you feel called to do. And I mean, it’s like, I mean, I think you’re probably the happiest now you’ve ever been. I don’t know. That’s just saying as an outsider looking in, but
MW (08:15):
100%, 100%, because again, we spend so much of our lives at work, especially as entrepreneurs and business owners, and this is your baby and this is your passion. And I’m, I, it doesn’t feel like work to me. And sometimes people like, you know, my friends and I’m hanging out at like nine o’clock at night and they’re like, Hey, let’s look at this profile and I’m sorry, I’m you’re talking about profile. I’m like, no, I love this stuff. And I also believe like, you know, in any business, I believe the most important thing in any business is your human capital. Yeah. Right. Like the greatest leading indicator of P and L performance in the business is your human capital. And so that’s where I get passionate about. It’s like not to mention the fact that as leaders, you, you will have massive amounts of opportunity to influence for better or worse the lives of the people that work for you. Yeah. And in my opinion, our cap depends on our ability to lead other people.
AJV (09:10):
Hmm that’s so
MW (09:11):
I just always wanna be a you know, a student of the game of leadership.
AJV (09:16):
I love that. And this is such a great transition too. And before we, we hit record, we were having just a brief, you know, conversation. And I know there’s so much discussion right now, out in the marketplace, around the topic of the great resignation. Right. And if you’re not watching, I’m doing funny ears when I say the great resignation because I, I don’t really know if that’s what it is. And then I read this article a couple of weeks ago by Ariana Huffington. And I thought this was a great re explanation of that. And I love what she said. And she said, it’s not so much, this is the great resignation. It’s more of a great reevaluation and people are taking a step back and going, man, I don’t love what I’m doing. Why not? And how do I get to do something that I love?
AJV (10:05):
And maybe it’s people environment, culture, environment, but what if it’s just the job itself? It’s like, you feel like you’re not wired to be doing what you’re doing and you’re pushing, right. Instead of like having that natural pull that’s easier. Mm-Hmm . And so it’s one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on, because it’s such a hot topic. I cannot tell you how many people in the brain builders group, community and our social audience and our offline audience and my friend group and my family group in our own company where we’re going, man, it’s like, how do we find attract, hire and retain the right person? And interviews are such a tricky thing because everyone is trying to put their best foot forward in an interview. I mean, it’s like people are trained to interview well, right? Hopefully it’s like, you’re trying to get the job, but I think it’s interesting sometime as the individual, we’re trying to get a job that we don’t even want that we’re not even built for.
AJV (11:03):
We don’t even have the skills for it. And it just it’s mindboggling to me sometimes of going, why are people trying to do this when they don’t, they’re not gonna be good at it. And mm-hmm , those were all these kind of like aha moments that we had after becoming your clients and being clients of culture index. And so here’s kind of where I wanna take this conversation for all of our listeners is one, help us understand how the culture index assessment is different from an Enneagram or a disc or a Myers Briggs. So let’s start there and then we’re gonna kind of get into the weeds on like how as employers we can use a tool like this to improve ourselves. And I’ll tell you guys right now Matt has included a link for everyone listening where if you’ve never heard of culture index and if you’ve never taken it this is really unique. It’s different than a typical personality profile. But I’m gonna put the link in the show notes. And so you get to go and you get to take that test and you get to get your assessment report back for free. So thank you to Matt. So just make sure you pop over and get the show notes and grab that link. So you can take this for yourself, but okay. So tell us, how is culture index different?
MW (12:14):
Okay, I’m gonna keep it really simple. So if you’re a business owner or, or not a business owner, you’re leading a team and you you’re part of a business. If your business is not using psychometrics, you’re behind the eight ball because most people are. And so when I say psychometrics, basically, we’ve got the technology now in the research with psychometric, all psychometrics is, is you’ve got psychology and math and they get together and have a baby. And now we actually have data on what will this human being do when nobody’s looking. And when they’re under pressure, in other words, you naturally do who you are, right? And you you’ve talked about the interview process. It’s like when you’re, when you’re interviewing people, it’s simply a sales pitch. And if I need a job, I can convince you, certain profiles are better at convincing others, right?
MW (13:05):
So you, most people are going into interviews and they’re making these very expensive decisions off of subjective information, which is their experience with that person or their track record, which the assumption is what you did over here at this company is the exact same thing with the exact same leadership as what you would be getting here in my company, which is hardly ever the case back to culture index. So there’s really two things you gotta look at when you’re looking at psych psychometrics is what’s the statistical reliability of that instrument. So in other words, how, if we go back to human capital, if that’s the greatest leading indicator of P and L performance in your business, how accurate and valid do you want the data to be that you’re using to make these decisions that will influence the P and L statement? Yeah. So you gotta look at statistical reliability.
MW (13:58):
I can’t speak for any of Graham and all of those others because I, I’m not a practitioner of those. I do know that culture index has an internal or a statistical reliability of 0.9. So 90% of the time it is spot on. Now we can get into why that is part of it has to do with the design. This is a free choice checklist versus a versus a forced choice. So anytime you force a human being to choose one of four or one of six options, it will negatively impact the reliability of it. Mm. So one it’s, it’s, whatever you’re using, you gotta look at, does it really measure what it says? It measures the second thing though, and I think it’s actually the bigger draw is there’s only about 65 culture index licensees in the country and what we hang our hat on is radical candor and the strategic ability of the advisor to lean into CEO.
MW (14:52):
When I understand where your three and five year goals are and give you very candid, blunt feedback about the people you’ve chosen to bring around you and whether or not you will hit those top and bottom line goals in the next three to five years. I mean, I’ve, I’ve been on multiple demos this morning with client, with prospects in Alabama and Georgia, and we’re pulling up and we’re talking about for one example, a construction company, you know, 150 employees and they have their, their linchpin in their business is the project manager overseeing these construction. And they had eight of them. And I’m literally able to say, okay, this one’s worth $2 million. And this one is costing you $2 million. Interesting. And I don’t have to, I don’t have to guess, cuz I ask them, what do they need outta that role? And they say, I need X, X, X, X. And I say, okay, well, how much of your time do you spend telling this person what to do and having to follow up with them because they don’t follow through? Hmm. I spend a lot of time and I say, okay, how much is that worth? Cause for the CEO, the two biggest problems I fix for our CEOs time and money.
AJV (15:55):
Yeah. You know, it’s I love that you say that, cause you’ve done this we’ve had this conversation many times and you just go, horrible idea. Never hire this person. so I appreciate the blood
MW (16:09):
Candidate. Well, and, and, and I I’ll say this too. You, you talked about culture index, so we don’t measure character values, integrity. We also don’t. We also don’t want measure what somebody’s passionate about. Okay. And so we don’t measure good. Is this a good or a bad human, but it’s like this. And we talk about culture because that’s a buzzword, right. Everybody wants a strong culture. And then if I said to one of you owners or entrepreneurs on this call, if you ever, ever seen the movie Rudy, right. If you haven’t, you ought watch it. It’s, it’s a classic, but it’s about a guy who is just passionate about Notre Dame football. And he believes Irish and he played football in college. So he studied it. He had a lot of experience. He knew the ins and outs. And then he got to walk on at Notre Dame and he had more grit, more passion, more drive, more work ethic than probably every other athlete on the team. But Rudy was five foot 10. And if you started Rudy with all the grit and passion and heart and experience at five foot 10 going against a six foot five competitor, statistically he’ll lose nine out of 10 times. And then when you put a square peg in a round hole, I don’t care. What values are up on the wall when your team loses eventually a losing program has a terrible culture regardless of the values.
AJV (17:27):
Yeah. You know, I, what, I, I think one of the things that both as a entrepreneur CEO, but then also as a, as a client, one of the things that I’ve gotten really in tune with is that a lot of people can do the job. It’s just, how quickly are they gonna burn out doing it? Hmm. And that was like a really good insight that I picked up from our work together and using this is, yeah. I mean, you could force someone into doing this and they could probably do it, but for how long before they go, I’m exhausted. This is so hard. I’m not happy. And the, what I love about this as a business owner is I know what I need out of these positions. And it’s so hard to determine that by looking at a resume or social media, or even doing an interview, I, I mean, we do shadow days.
AJV (18:18):
We do call audit. We do all these things to help other people get to know like, this is what the business is gonna be about. But at the end of the day, those are really high level samples. And to what you said earlier, it’s like, I need to know, is this person gonna love doing it and be good at doing it when I’m not around? And I think that is a really important thing. And so I’d love to hear your perspective of, you know, this great resignation or great reevaluation in terms of, for business owners. It’s like, how do we get around this? Mm-Hmm like, how do we use tools like this? Or even if you don’t have a tool like this to better equip your company of going, it’s about finding the, the match, right? And culture and values is a part of that passion, but it’s other, like, you gotta have someone who’s gonna love the job and how do we do that?
MW (19:09):
Hmm. Okay. Couple of thoughts. With two case studies from different clients here in Nashville, one is in a service business construction, and one is a and one is a social entrepreneur. They produce footwear, leather goods, things like that. Okay. So we’ll talk about the service business first, not a glorious industry. right. Very few people come outta college and say, I wanna go dig ditches. Yeah. This client I have here found this one profile 22 years old, just graduated college. And he’s got the right culture index profile for the future leadership position that this my client needs. So he takes a risk. This guy has zero experience, 22 he’s 23. Now he’s been on a year and he is literally grooming him up to take over the business. Hmm. Now, not yet, but it’s like, he’s showing all the right signs now. It’s very important to note, I can’t measure work ethic.
AJV (20:10):
Yeah.
MW (20:11):
You know, like, and you can’t tell from the dots whether or not somebody’s gonna like cheat or steal . Okay. but in that case, like there’s a 22 year old in construction that needed a job. He has the right dots. The key is he didn’t just put him in, say, dig ditches. He understood what motivated that person. And what motivated that 22 year old was opportunity to control my future. And he saw this, he threw challenges at him where meanwhile, I was just having a conversation with him last night. He said, this guy has gotten multiple job offers from competitors. And he, and he told my CEO, he said, I’m staying with you because I think you can help me get where I want to go. Mm. So when you talk about the insight to know what makes people drive, there’s three primary motivational drives in a human, and this is not culture index.
MW (20:56):
Although we measure these, this is from another article I read by Harvard it’s, every human being has a need to achieve the need for relationship and the need. For some level of knowledge and expertise, we just happen to measure. Those are our three primary motivational drives. And so when you can get the talent or not talking about how to go find it, but like the talent’s coming to you where you’re getting applicants like that, you have an advantage when I already know what makes that person tick. And I help them see their future in my company. The other one though, is from the client with a social enterprise. And they, they have, they are inundated with applicants, like just so many that is because of the mission and the cause of the business. Right. And so I think there’s multiple things in there as one, when you talk about the great resignation, I agree with that. It’s a reevaluation because people are gonna have to work. Yeah. Right. They can’t sit at home forever, but like when we, as leaders can learn how to take the talent and inspire and motivate and more importantly, put them in roles that they’re naturally gifted for. I mean, you think about like, Chick-fil-A versus McDonald’s, that’s the same business, but it seems like McDonald’s struggles a little bit more than Chick-fil-A to find talent and it’s fast food.
AJV (22:16):
Yeah.
MW (22:17):
So that has to do with leadership development and culture and vision. And I actually know quite a few Chick-fil-A’s that use culture index.
AJV (22:26):
Hmm. So, so much of it is about that pairing. Right? So one of the things that I have found really difficult is even knowing what you need out of, of a position, right. Like I know that seems kind of silly, but it’s actually quite challenging to go, like, what do I actually need out of this position? So any thoughts around that and how to help business owners and leaders be like, what do I want out of this position? I know what needs to get done, but like, what do I actually need this person to do in terms of what skill sets and what traits and what drivers I’m like, mm-hmm . And then I think too, it’s like, in addition to that, one of the things I’ve found, it’s like, if someone does not, like, for me, I’m only speaking for me. So if any of my team members are listening, like good insight into my brain it’s like, if you need me to create your vision, it’s not gonna work out for you in the long term.
AJV (23:21):
Right. And that’s like, that has nothing to do with the position itself. That’s just knowing myself as the leader business owner. It’s like, I want people who, who see it and who can create it for themselves. But if you’re gonna wait around and you’re gonna make, wait for me to build that for you, I’m not gonna do it. Mm-Hmm . And so I think a part of that is just there’s I think a part of this, that’s a little bit of self discovery of like, what do I need and the people around me. So any advice or tips that you would give to business owners to do that?
MW (23:52):
Yeah. So let’s go back to the first part about the actual job where I see I wouldn’t say most, but I have clients that have struggled with being able to define what do I really need in this role. Mm-Hmm . And I think that happens for a couple of reasons. One, if there’s a lack of a strategic vision in the company of where we’re going, and then what are the roles that we need for that? And then what are the KPIs to define success in each of those roles? Mm-Hmm , without that, it’s kinda like, well, we kind of need you to just take care of things. Well was Patrick Lindsay only who wrote a book called three signs of a miserable job? Oh, one of those signs I measurement in his research. He said that when employees, one of the, one of the biggest detracting factors from wanting to continue working is when my boss couldn’t provide clear feedback on how was I doing and was I winning or not? And regardless of culture index profile, like if you get somebody with good core values and ethic, they wanna come to work and add value.
AJV (24:56):
Yeah, totally.
MW (24:57):
If it’s on, but it’s on the leader to, to define here’s what you do in your job. Okay. So, but that, that we struggle with that when there’s a lack of clear direction. Yeah. And a lack of a strategy. But the second thing is, is because what you mentioned, you know, is we have a different piece of the program where we actually design so that you can answer questions about the job. And then it says, okay, this is the pattern. Or these are the patterns that will produce the ideal behavior, where 80 to 90% of the day, this is how you need to behave. Mm-Hmm, where we, where I have clients that will struggle in being able to define that is, and a lot of times they’re like, well, I want them to be visionary and strategic and macro. And I also don’t want them to be perfect and cross every T and dot every I.
MW (25:48):
And you’re basically saying, look, I want somebody who’s equally good at playing offense and defense at the same time. And so that’s where, you know, I, I challenge my clients, push back and say like, at the end of the day, is it more important for this person to win and innovate or not make mistakes? And usually when you put a straight edge on it like that, they’re able to say, yeah, but I can’t have everything. But if this is what is ultimately gonna make this position successful, they need to be detailed. Let’s say we can measure that. Mm-Hmm or they’re not gonna have direction. They gotta be risk tolerant. Okay. Well, we can measure that.
AJV (26:22):
Yeah.
MW (26:22):
So you can’t have everything.
AJV (26:24):
I think that’s a good reminder to all of us. You can’t have everything. So if someone out there is going, okay, like something you just said clicked, but I’m not currently using culture index. It’s like, what would be like the, the first step advice that you would give to a leader who’s going, this is how you get clear of what you need out of a position. Would you say it’s like, start with the KPIs, like start with the end result in mind? Like, what would you say?
MW (26:51):
Hmm. I go back to the fitness business experience where I learned there and, you know, our CEO was a fantastic strategic thinking visionary. And so we just had this vision for five years out of what we wanted to be. And there was 300 fitness communities and, and it was, and we could clearly define it. And it actually took us four days as a leadership team to come up with that. It’s like, where do we wanna be in the next three to five? Or I think it was five years. And then once we got that end goal, then we backed into how do we get there? And we broke it down. What are the metrics that need to be measured? And then what’s feasible year four, year, three, year two, and year one. And so you take the big picture, but then you break it down to bite size.
MW (27:34):
So then we took it and we said, okay, so this year we’re only gonna, here’s our one year goal. And we had what we, we drew this mountain and we had base camps up to the top of the mountain. And the cool thing was, it was like, I forget who wrote the book, making vision stick. But we did, we, we really focused as leaders in the organization of communicating that vision of where we’re going down to everybody who was even a part-time employee. So they knew what the vision was. And then they knew how, what they do every day ties in to helping us achieve that mission. Mm. I love that. So I would say that, and then some kind of operational system, like traction or scaling up with ver Harnish where there’s, there’s so many resources out there on how to scale a business mm-hmm and the, in my opinion, there’s no really need to reinvent the wheel. Just take one of those and run with it.
AJV (28:34):
Yeah. We implemented traction here at brand builders group, the book traction by Gina Wickman. It was mandatory reading for all of our leaders three years ago. And it’s like, we, we put in place traction simultaneously as we started doing culture index. So okay. So I know I’m, I’m watching the clock. I know we only have a few more minutes left here, but I’ve got like two other, like, kinda like big questions. So one of the things that I find fascinating, and I know if I find it fascinating, all of the other people out there listening also find it fascinating. So help give people some insight into some of these profiles that you have at culture index, cuz there’s a lot of them. There’s a lot. Right. And I know my profile as I’m a persuader. Right. And it’s a heck of a lot easier for me to work with other persuaders than it is some others. It’s just, there’s like a natural ease in it. So give us some, like, what are some like just inside behind the scenes knowledge, if no one, no one’s ever taken this, I don’t know what this is. Mm-Hmm person I’ve heard about it. What is your profile structure and give us some highlights of some of the profiles that are in culture index.
MW (29:42):
Yeah. So let’s go back to some, you know, probably something that’s really familiar for a lot of people is like a disk profile, right? The D I S C it’s been around for a long time reasonably accurate, but it, it, it lumps people into one of four categor categories. Right. So if I know I’m communicating with a high D that’s about 25% of the world, according to disk, the problem with that is it’s kinda like looking at a mountain. If I’m, if I’m a mile away from a mountain, I can tell that’s a tall mountain, but, and I can, I, I can go climb that. But then when I get up really close and I can see the precise, like there, here’s a big crevice, here’s a ma major like overhang that changes how I approach that. And so what you’re really looking at and where I think what I love about culture index is that it is precise in that.
MW (30:34):
And so to, you mentioned profiles, think of it. Like if I’m, if I’ve got, let’s say you’ve got the disc and you’ve got four tools for people, right. Well, how much more precise and accurate can I be? And confident if I were to say, Hey, actually I have 19 different tools and here’s how you use each one of those different tools. And so we’ve broken it down into 19 different patterns. So for example, within the high D for disk, where they have one profile for that, they actually have five. And so that changes and there’s a lot of nuances there. And the big thing too is I, I try to train my clients. So there’s two things that are really important when it comes to motivation and communication. One is that person naturally off playing offense or defense, and then how do they think learn and problem solve.
MW (31:23):
Hmm. And so we call that deductive and inductive reasoning or thinking. And so that changes how we communicate. If, if I’m talking with you as a persuader with a higher B trait, I know that you’re actually going to need some personal interaction. If I’m working with you pretty consistently, because that’s a motivational drive. Whereas if I’m working with Rory, he wants to come to work. And that B is low, even though you guys have the same, a trait, essentially your B is very different. And so you guys are radically different just on that one data point and we’ve got seven mm-hmm . And so the communication piece of verbal processor versus an introspective analytical thinker. So there’s one, there’s one thing though, to know, oh, introvert and extrovert. It’s totally different when you talk in like real life situations within existing context of the team and say, here’s where this problem is coming from. And here’s how we resolve that problem based off this data. Yeah. And, and, and the other thing is that it just takes a little time. Yeah. You know, as you know, as a client, it takes the time to learn really, how do I use this? Cuz you’re actually learning a new language because, because we typically treat other people the way we wanna be treated. Right. And then if you do the math and there’s really 19 major patterns that profiles out there, 5% chance that somebody that you’re talking to is you mm-hmm
AJV (32:40):
, it’s not a lot. It’s not a lot. It’s not a lot. It’s not a lot. You know, it’s so interesting. I remember doing this for our own team and we know we had everyone take this and you know, as a, as a Testament to this for all of us out there, I, I bet every single person listening and probably not every single client that you work with, you have people on your team or have had ’em at some point where you said, I know it’s the right person, but Lord help me. They are not in the right seat. And it’s like, they are going to drive me insane. They’re not helping the business grow. They’re causing issues, but it’s like, but deepen my soul. It’s like, I know they’re the right person. Mm-Hmm . But like, and that happened to us on two different times, over the last three and a half years since we started brand builders group.
AJV (33:25):
And I remember this, I don’t know if you remember this conversation. But we were talking about one of our key employees and I remember this conversation and you said you have shrink, trapped and Eagle . I was like, yes, I did. We have shrink, trapped our Eagle. And it was like a really big aha moment of like really getting to know this, the inner workings of this particular employee’s brain. And I’m going, oh my gosh, no wonder. She’s been frustrated. I’ve been frustrated. Everyone around her has been frustrated. She is doing the exact opposite of what her natural gifts are and what her natural gifts are, are a deep need that we have in the organization. It was just like pew, pew, pew fireworks, going off. And it’s, it took us six months to move her around in this new position. And it’s been a world of change for her, for me, for the team, for our clients of it’s like she filled such a great need and it, it comes easy for her.
AJV (34:33):
She enjoys it. She loves it versus man, she was stressy, you know what out? Because she was in spreadsheets and she does not like spreadsheets. It’s not good at spreadsheets. And it’s like it was like, it’s like, you know, you, you’re looking on the outside going, why is like what in the world? And you’re like, I gotta help this person be more organized. They need more accountability. And it’s like, no, they’re never gonna be successful in that role. Mm-Hmm like, it is such work for them. Like you’re gonna lose a great person, a great team member because you gotta ’em in the freaking wrong seat. And that was like hugely important for us.
MW (35:12):
I, I just had this thought, you know, you mentioned my daughter. I take every Monday off and we just play together. And so much of the play is actually like work. Like she wants to build things or she wants to fix something or she wants to go explore or she wants to start something, but it actually has a lot to do with work. She wants to cook. She wants to make something. And it’s like, that stuff is effortless and fun to her. So what happens between when we’re kids and then we have to go get a job and then at work has a negative context to it. Yeah. The reason why I think it is, is because it feels like work. If I show up and I have to do things I’m not naturally wired up to do. Right. But the, and that’s where stress comes honestly. And that’s why work takes longer. You know, people say like work will expand to the time allotted for it. I, I don’t think that’s necessarily true because if you have somebody doing something that’s natural for them, doesn’t feel like work they’re more efficient. Yeah. It doesn’t feel like work and they’ve got better morale.
AJV (36:11):
Yeah. And it’s, I think it’s so important. It’s like one of our big commitments in our company and it’s like, we’re definitely not perfect at this. Got a long way to go. But it’s like, if we know it’s the right person, it’s like, let’s find the role that you’re naturally gonna succeed in. Because otherwise we’re doing each other, a disservice, like we’re trying to make it work. You’re trying to make it work when it’s like, you could go out and find a position that you love. And you know, it’s interesting, cuz we’ve all heard that old saying is like people don’t leave companies, people leave people. I really believe that there’s a middle step in there. It’s like people leave jobs. Mm-Hmm right. And it’s not always a person’s fault. It’s not always like it was that they left because of bad leadership. It’s like sometimes I think people leave because they’re like, I hate my job. I don’t like what I’m doing. It’s like, I love you. Like I really do. Right. But I’m not happy with what I’m doing. I think when people say, I feel called to go do something else, what they’re really saying is you have me doing something that I don’t love.
MW (37:14):
Mm-Hmm
AJV (37:14):
so how do we change that?
MW (37:16):
Yeah. And there there’s some structures and organizations where there are limitations and it’s like, you may have been really enjoying this and good here, but then we don’t have another opportunity to leverage those strengths. And so they may have to leave. That’s not on the leader, but then a lot of it is in on the leader of if I don’t understand my talent and therefore I’m not optimizing them, then that really is on the leadership.
AJV (37:41):
Yeah. I’m so good. I love discussions like this. I love learning just about people and it’s like, I love all these. I love culture index, fascinate, engram disc. I do all of them. I’m just fascinated with learning about like human nature in general. Mm-Hmm but I think it’s interesting. It’s like, no matter what profile I take, like I’m an eight on the Igram I’m a, I’m a, are
MW (38:02):
You me too?
AJV (38:03):
I’m an eight go figure. I’m a di and disk. Right? I’m the Maro and fascinate, I’m the persuader. And it’s like, but they’re all complimentary. And it’s like, okay. I should probably like take my own advice here. It’s like, I know myself well enough, but yet like even in this conversation, it’s like, I have like this checklist of things that feel like work to me and it’s because I’m not naturally gifted in ’em. So I have to, it takes me longer. It’s it’s harder for me. I don’t enjoy it at the end of those days where I’m doing that. I feel stressed and overwhelmed because it’s, it’s not fun. And then I have other days where it’s like, man, it was a great day and I’m always asking myself what makes a great day for me as a business owner. And I think that’s a good question for everyone to ask.
AJV (38:50):
It’s like get really in tune with like what makes a great day. And I’ve just found like for me, it’s like, I, my cup is full when I get to spend time with our clients and with team members that, you know, are positive and happy. Like I love that. And been on days where I’m just like sitting behind a computer screen all by myself, crunching numbers, I’m like, Ugh, this is so hard. Like why does this feel like work? And so I think you just gotta get in tune with that for yourself too. And mm-hmm, taking things like the culture index assessment helps you get in tune with yourself, helps you get in tune with your team. So again, Matt has given us a free link for everyone to take. And we’re last question here, and then we’ll wrap up. So Matt, what would you say? And this is nothing related to the culture index. But what would you say out of all the different companies and leaders and CEOs that you’ve worked with over the years pre and post culture index, what would you say in your personal opinion? We don’t need any, you know, statistical validation here, just your personal opinion. What do you think makes the best leader?
MW (40:06):
Hmm, man, that’s a tough one. The first thing that comes to mind is humility, but then I had to check myself cause I, I think I’m a good leader and I wouldn’t necessarily call myself humility or humble. I’d like, I’d like to think that, but I think because I also see this, like I, I do, I engaged with visionary leaders all day long and some of them with same identical culture, next profiles have very different results because you could be a leader, but if nobody wants to follow you, it really doesn’t matter how strategic you are. And it really doesn’t matter how much vision you have or how you can hold team accountable. It’s like at the end of the day, if people don’t trust you and you’re not approachable and open for feedback as a leader, I think it’s gonna be very difficult to build a team around you because every good leader, I know they really believe like I couldn’t have gotten here without the team that helped me get there. And so, and maybe that’s just the, the other thing too, is like, I want to aspire more of that because the twenties and my thirties, it was like crash course in humility, especially the thirties. And I think I’m at a better place because I’ve gotten a little less ego.
AJV (41:28):
Hmm. That’s so good. I love that. Such a good conversation. If people wanna connect with you online social media, what’s the best platform for them to go to?
MW (41:39):
Well, I, I am not great with social media. I think it’s Instagram is Matt white, 3 21, LinkedIn is, is there. And then you know, like we said, if you guys take that survey, then my assistant will reach out and schedule a few minutes to review the data with you, either with me. One of my colleagues and well
AJV (42:03):
Since you’re self proclaimed, so Instagram, Matt white 3, 2, 1,
MW (42:09):
It’s Matt white, 3 21,
AJV (42:11):
Matt white 3 21. Or
MW (42:12):
It’s basically just pictures of sale though. or dirt, bikes,
AJV (42:16):
Pictures, basical, pretty much all I want. Well that that’ll be an offline conversation for me and you, we, I can help you with this. You help me with the people I’ll help you with social media. So
MW (42:27):
Yeah, I have no brand. So I’m, I’m your next client? I have no brand
AJV (42:31):
Note to sell note to sell Matt, so awesome. Thank you. So for being on here everyone be sure to stay tuned for the episode and we’ll you next time on the influential personal brand.
MW (42:44):
Thanks AJ.

Ep 302: Understanding Enneagram with Ian Morgan Cron

RV (00:02):
Such an honor to introduce to you somebody who is a friend of several friends of mine, Ian Morgan Cron, I’ve, I’ve heard so many things about him. He lives in Nashville. Um, so we hang out with a lot of the same, uh, circles, Donald Miller, Michael Hyat, John AK, et cetera. It’s kind of the Nashville posse around here. And, um, but we’ve never actually met. And so, uh, we got, I, I forgot who connected us recently and said, Hey, you guys really need to know one another. And so it just made sense to bring him on the podcast. So you you’ve probably heard of his podcast. He has a podcast called typology, which has over 17 million downloads. He he’s the author of several books, um, including kind of the Enneagram primer, which was, is called the road back to you. And then he released a, uh, another book recently called the story of you in Igram journey to becoming your true self. And that’s a big part of what we’re gonna talk about today, but, uh, you know, he works with companies like Warner, brother music and Chick-fil-A, and, uh, we have all these, all these similar friends and, uh, anyways, I wanted you to, to hear it. And I know probably half of you have never heard of Anya Graham and the other half of you just are die hard and just know it’s such a powerful tool. And like you just run your whole life by . And so, uh, anyways, Ian, welcome to the show.
IMC (01:29):
Thanks . It’s great to be here.
RV (01:31):
So, um, let’s do start with the people who are not the, the, the super engram people. Um, you know, I think people hear it and they go, oh, is that like a disk thing? Right. And, uh, it’s not, there’s, there’s, there’s nine different types, but anyways, can you just kind of give us like the high level overview of it?
IMC (01:53):
Sure. Well, the Enneagram is an ancient personality typing system. It teaches that there are nine basic personality types in the world. One of which we, uh, gravitate toward an adopting childhood as a way to cope, to protect ourselves and to navigate the new world, uh, of relationships in which we find ourselves. Um, there are nine distinct types and each of them has an underlying unconscious motivation that powerfully influences how that type habitually and predictably acts things and feels from moment to moment. Uh, it’s a great tool. I’ve worked with disk, Hogan, Colby, uh, strength, binder. I love Myers Briggs. Obviously they are all great tools, but in my experience, as a therapist, as a corporate presenter and consultant, I really don’t know a better instrument for helping people develop the kind of self-awareness that not only improves the quality of their personal lives, but tremendously accelerates their success in their professional lives.
RV (03:06):
Mm that’s interesting. What, what, like, what do you think is the big, that’s a big statement, right? Those are big Myers Briggs, and, uh, you know, obviously disks and strength finders. Like, um, we we’ve, we had Tom we’ve had Tom Rath on the show. He’s a good friend. Like these are really, really powerful. So, um, what do you think really is the, is kind of the defining or the, you know, the big distinction between any Agram and you know, some of these other tools maybe that people have heard of.
IMC (03:33):
So to be clear again, I love any tool that helps people develop self-awareness I love it when I hear people tapping into multiple tools, uh, so that they get a sort of a 360 eye on everything. Mm-hmm that, uh, maybe going on in their interior world and to understand their God-given architecture. Right. Um, now what does, what, what sort of distinguishes the engram from these other tools? One is the engram just doesn’t tell you what you do. It tells you why you do it. Okay. So this is really important. It’s not enough to know just your characteristic traits. It’s important to know why those traits are in place, so that you’re getting, you begin to work with your strengths and your weaknesses at the level of the root system, right? You, you, you wanna understand what is it that’s making me be the way that I am in the world, how I show up for life. Secondly, um, one of the things the Ingram does is, you know, if you’re looking for flattery, the Enneagram is not the tool you wanna
RV (04:39):
Use. I love the, I know that there’s some, like, uh, one of the things that I, I thought was pretty entertaining was how they talk about at its extremes in the, in the negative direction. You know, it’s like the Hitler was this way, or like, you know, some, somebody like, uh, I thought that was kind of like, oh, that’s, it’s not flattering. Um, uh, always,
IMC (05:02):
So, you know, the Ingram does teach us that what’s best about us is also what’s worst about us. And what’s worst about us is also what’s best about us. Our strength is our weakness. Our weakness is our strength, right? And so, um, you know, in the beginning of the journey of understanding who you are and developing self-awareness, you are gonna have to confront those parts of your personality that are, uh, in direct opposition opposition to the person that you want to become, right? Like, like we all, we all should wanna know what is it that stands between me and the person who I want to become. And so, you know, that, that requires looking at the shadow aspect of our personality that said the Enneagram also will tell you what’s most wonderful about who you are, but you do have to kind of slog through the not so great stuff before you get to realizing, oh my gosh, at my core, uh, I have all kinds of competencies and, uh, personality traits that are wonderful and needed at the table of life.
RV (06:11):
Mm-hmm so, so the road back, like the road back to you was, is kind of like sets the founda. The, the foundation, I guess, is how, how I process it and think about it. And then the story of you is your newest book. So can you talk a little bit about why the new, why this, why this version of the book and this, this kind of angle?
IMC (06:39):
So, yeah, I mean, the road back to you was a remarkable, you know, at the risk of sounding self congratulatory, but I’m as surprised by it as anybody. So don’t, don’t hear it as me bragging, you know, it was a tremendous success that I could not have predicted. Right? Mm. Um, and the road back to you for me, was more of a book about, okay, so I have information. So now how do I begin to activate transformation? Like information is not growth, right? You can know everything there is to know about you. And if you don’t have a, a formula for transformation, it just doesn’t make any difference. Right now you’re just armed with data, but data doesn’t mean anything unless somebody can analyze it and then make decisions based on that new information. Right. Mm-hmm so, uh, so for example, you could have, um, all kinds of business data.
IMC (07:36):
You know, this, uh, you may understand your email list. You may understand who your customer is. You may have done all the, gotten all the metrics, but if you don’t act on those and know how to act on those who cares, who cares that you have all, all that information, right? Um, that’s not a perfect correlate, but it’s not bad either. Um, so this book was really about helping people understand that the engram just doesn’t describe nine personality types, but the nine stories, each of those types tell themselves and others about who they are, um, and how they think the world works. Because, you know, we all understand up we’re mutual friend, Don Miller knows this, um, who by the way, is featured in the book, uh, in one of the chapters, you know, we, we all know that we, uh, live inside. We, we experience our, our lives as being lived inside of a narrative inside of a story.
IMC (08:34):
But what if the story that you picked up as a little kid is wrong? Like, what if the story you picked up as a little person and now have dragged into adulthood is frustrating your ability to live a, a happy, productive life. And I’ve as a therapist, you know, as a person who works in that call it the self development space, right? It’s like, if you don’t unearth and examine the narrative in which you live your life, it will govern your life negatively from the shadows. You won’t even know it’s running. Right. Uh, it’s just kind of like, you know, like a system back here that’s running. And if you don’t confront that old story, then you will continue to live by its dictates. Um, this is why I think sometimes, you know, it’s interesting in my conversations with people, if I use the word stuck, nobody has once asked me to define what I mean by the word stuck. Mm. They, they just know it right away. Right. It’s just like, oh yeah, I’m stuck. Well, what is the reason for people’s experience of stuckness? Usually it’s because they’re living by an old narrative that no longer works for them. And I wanna free people from that narrative. And that’s what the book, the story of you describes.
RV (09:56):
So here’s what I wanna ask you about is I wanna try to like tie this together. The, yeah. The people listening here are, are, we would describe them as mission driven messengers. So they are experts who in some way they serve the world typically as an expert. And, um, you know, you, you, you said something earlier about your first book, you said, I, I had, I couldn’t have predicted its success. And I think it’s really, really true about, uh, in life. But even as, as a personal brand, we all have a, we live inside of a story. That’s subconscious, like it’s there. And it came from wherever it came from. Um, and it governs what, how successful maybe we allow ourselves to become, or it limits us in terms of, you know, maybe we’re not, we don’t wanna be self promotional or et cetera, et cetera.
RV (10:50):
What do you think are some of the stories that people who are on a mission sort of struggle with, or, um, you know, could be just entrepreneurs or just anybody who’s an author or a speaker, just having been that path, you know, both as, as the counselor and understanding engram, but also as an author who has built this tremendously successful and well respected, um, brand and reputation for such a, a very specific space. I mean, you, you have accomplished several of the things that we talk about and Def define and describe and try to provide training for. So I’m just curious, what do you think are some of those stories that you think we all have to overcome in our journey as an expert entrepreneur, author, speaker type?
IMC (11:38):
Well, there are some obvious ones. Um, you know, how many times have you heard people say, or you can vaguely pick up in your conversation with them? Something like, um, I’m not smart enough to do this. That’s a, that’s a broken story, right? Uh, or how about I’m too old to start a new business? Mm that’s a, that’s a broken story. Um, you know, you might hear, uh, someone say, man, if I, I had to do this perfectly or not at all right, that’s an old story from childhood, you know, that’s the Enneagram one story it’s sort of like you are raised with this belief that the world only rewards, good people and judges, bad people. And therefore you have to do everything perfectly. You have to perfect yourself, others in the world and you, uh, you can’t make mistakes. You, you, um, uh, have to live up to these high rigid, uh, internal standards that are impossible to meet.
IMC (12:40):
Now you wanna talk about something frustrating, the development of a business, try perfectionism. Right. I remember Mike Hyat saying to me once, and it was really revelatory. Cause I do have a little bit of a perfectionist street. And he said to me once, uh, Ian, don’t wait till it’s perfect to put it out there, do the best. You can throw it out, uh, fix it as you go, but don’t wait for anything to be perfect in life. Just get a product out there and see how it goes. And that was like so liberating for me. And it went against an old story. I’ve been telling myself about how the world works, you know, and about myself. Like I don’t have any value unless I’m perfect. Is that true? Now that’s an old story. Like now Mike is an engram three, that’s called the, the performer or the achiever.
IMC (13:25):
The performer believes that the world only values others for what they accomplish and achieve in life, but not for who they are inside. So therefore they become addicted and driven to succeed, to appear successful to other people and to avoid failure at all costs. Now that’s a, that story may have helped Mike or other threes as little people to kind of find their way in the world and make sense of their experiences. But that’ll kill you in business. That’ll kill you in your personal life, right? How many workaholics do you know who live by that story? Right? Or, um, people that, you know, become risk averse, cuz they just they’re afraid of not appearing successful. So again, I could go through all nine types. It would take too much time, but I, I think you get the idea here, right? You gotta see the story, you gotta deconstruct the story. You gotta take it apart. You gotta interrogate and challenge it and then decide, I want a new story. I, I want a story that’s gonna lead to a life that is genuinely happy, satisfying, you know, has fulfillment and you know, opens the door for the kind of success I had never thought I could achieve.
RV (14:34):
And yeah. And you mentioned the three, uh, which is like the, the achiever, right. Or the performer mm-hmm . And I think a lot of people listening to this would, would fall into that category just because it’s like, you know, they’ve many times when we meet people at brand builders group, it’s because they have, they have been at the top of their trade or their profession or their industry. And now they’ve already achieved that. It’s like, they’ve won all the trophies and the awards and now they’re going, okay. I wanna help other people do it. Um, so you know, the, and, and then also I think like the I’m too old, you don’t hear that as much, but I think it sort of shows up in ways like, well, I don’t understand social media or I don’t, you know, I don’t like that or I, you know, I’m just not good with technology or, um, those, those kinds of things. Um, so I, I mean, what is talk to us about rewriting the stories Ian, so like whatever they are or, or even identifying it. Like, I love how you said that. Okay, first you gotta like identify it and then we deconstruct it. Then we figure out which pieces that we want. What are the, are the, you have any tips for kind of identifying and going like, Ooh, here’s a mental trigger.
RV (15:51):
I am recognizing in a split second that I’m operating according to a belief that was set in place at some point in my past, maybe unintentionally, like how do we first identify? Cuz it feels like that’s half the battle here.
IMC (16:09):
Yes. So lemme just, uh, back up just for a second, because I want, I want to add something to this that I think that your audience would be interested in.
RV (16:17):
Yeah.
IMC (16:17):
So years ago, uh, Cornell business school, um, did a study of 72 high performing CEOs, leading companies in value, let’s say from 50 million to 5 billion. Okay. And what they wanted to determine is what specific trait accounted for their unusual success, right? And so they expected it to be grit, determination of strategic planning, charisma, you know, the typical things we read about in business books all the time here was the exact quote from the end of the study, the key determinant of success in, in leadership or executive among executives is self-awareness now that that stunned the researchers. Right? And I, this is why I get invited to companies all over the world. It’s because they’re looking around and saying, well, we got all these skills, these hard skills, but we don’t have the self knowledge and the self-awareness. And that makes us bad leaders that makes us bad entrepreneurs. Right. Because you know, you can have all those hard skills, but if you don’t have the ability to relate to the world in other people in healthy ways, you’re kind of screwed honestly. Right. You’re kind, you’re being held back in dramatic ways. I, I mean, I, I spend so much time coming in and doing cleanup it’s, you know, people save me all the time. I wish you’d been here five years ago. Would’ve saved me a lot of time. Right. Okay. So how do you go about identifying and
RV (17:52):
Well, and so to that, to that point, before you go into that, so is it, is it usually, if you, if you’re not self-aware are you just, are you delusional? Like you just, you think you’re something you’re not, or are you just completely like unaware and you’re just sort of like cranking along. I mean, is it basically one of those two, two things?
IMC (18:13):
Uh, it’s actually both of those things among others, right. I mean, on one level, you know, there’s a lot of people, you know, um, you have a lot of three sevens and eights in your audience, I guarantee you for sure. Right. There’s the three most assertive, aggressive types on the anti angiogram. Um, and,
RV (18:30):
And I’m a, if I remember right, I think I’m a three. And then what do you call it? A wing? I think I’m a three wing eight.
IMC (18:38):
Well, you can’t be an eight. You’d have to be a, your wing could only be a two or a four if you’re a three. Ah,
RV (18:42):
So
IMC (18:43):
It’s the two numbers adjacent to yours. It’s the only options
RV (18:46):
For wings. Oh, I got you on either side. Okay. But I’m, I’m pretty sure I’m a three.
IMC (18:51):
Yeah, I would imagine. So. Um, and uh, I actually could have guessed that in the beginning of our call. It it’s interesting if you, once you get to know the angiogram pretty well, you can, with a pretty high degree of accuracy, start to pick out where other types
RV (19:06):
Are. I peg people pretty quickly.
IMC (19:08):
Yeah. I mean, I could pick it up from your clothes, from your background, uh, from what you do for a living. I could pick it up from, um, the kinds of things that matter to you, your priorities. Um, so anyway, that’s one of the benefits. Once you’re able to start doing that, talk about knowing how to relate to customers and your staff is, you know, it’s a tremendous advantage that said, you know, um, I think that self-awareness is important because if you do not have the capacity to step back and self observe in the moment, like in every interaction, right. Able to observe yourself and you can tell, oh my gosh, I have slipped back into an old rotten story. And, and I need to make new decisions in this moment to live into the story that I believe is true. Right? It’s like, you have a true story, you have a false story.
IMC (20:08):
It’s usually one, we call it an origin story. You have a false origin story and that’s gotta go. Right. And the way we do that, I use the acronym. So S O a R. So the first step is you gotta see the story. Right. And that’s just a matter of looking into the past and saying, okay, where did this story come from? What is it? And what, you know, like what, where did it come from? So that’s where we start. Then we go to the second step, which is you gotta own the story, which is to say it’s a little bit like, um, you know, looking at the effects, living in that story have had on your life, how has it affected your marriage, how it, you know, affected your relationship with your children, uh, your career, your dreams, you know, I, you know, part of that is if you don’t own it, there’s, there’s, there’s not much impetus to go forward, right?
IMC (21:01):
Like you’ve just gotta say, yep, this is what it’s cost me. And you can also say, and this is how it’s helped me, but how it’s helped me is, uh, not nearly as powerful as how it’s negatively affected my life. Right. Mm. The, the third step is to awaken. So that, that is really to say, okay, um, how do I now in the present begin to recognize when that old story has taken the wheel again, and, and then also make new choices like, oh, I don’t have to do that anymore. Like, like I can live in a new way that are, that’s aligned with my values, with my goals, with my dreams. Right. And then the last step is to rewrite. And that’s also a very conscious exercise. Like what is the story now in the future that I want to live in? So it really does cover the past, the present and the future, um, and gives you, uh, you know, sort of a great 50,000 foot view of your life.
IMC (21:56):
Right. Um, and the book, the story of you, you know, I go through all four stages and detail and show people how to do it. You know, obviously we can’t go into the, the, the granular detail right now, but, and you know, what’s interesting, Laurie, and we don’t, I don’t want to go necessarily down this wormhole, but you know, companies tell themselves stories about who they are and how they think the world works that are not true. Right. Yeah. I always, I always think about Dunder Mifflin. You know, if you, if you were really to have a corporate retreat with all the people there, they might say that the story that der Mifflin tells itself about who they are and how they think the world works is we’re the crappy paper company. Like we sell crappy paper. Now they gotta see that they gotta own that. they gotta awaken to the fact that, you know, like when does that take and hold and rewrite the narrative of their company?
RV (22:49):
And you see that like all, basically most of these stories, they come, they go all the way back to childhood and it was some moments. So like, you know, I, I think you’re right, that there’s a lot of threes. I mean, in, in our audience, at some point you felt outcast or something, I, as a child or you didn’t experience love or whatever. And so you resolved to basically go, I’m gonna achieve my way into being important. Like that kind of a thing
IMC (23:20):
That could be one of many stories that might produce a three, um, you know, a classic three story. I actually was interviewing a three, the, oh, you know him, um, it was, uh, oh gosh, my brain just went dead. The only name that’s coming to me right now is Jay Sheti, but it is not Jay Sheti it’s it’s, uh,
RV (23:43):
Lewis. Was it Lewis house?
IMC (23:45):
No, it was a good friend of Michael’s and, um, others. And he’s a brand, uh, guy anyway, it’ll come back to me. He’s a three. And, um, what he said was, you know, I was a kid and, uh, if I brought home a paper that was a 97, my father, the first words outta my father’s mouth was where’s the other 3%.
IMC (24:05):
And, you know, the message he got, uh, from, as a kid was, uh, love is predicated on your achievement. So it’s like, if you carry that message into adulthood, you’re gonna continue to believe that success equals love. I mean, you know, it’s like, if I don’t succeed, no one will value me. No one’s gonna see me. No, one’s gonna appreciate me. And you know, part of the journey is you gotta see that story and realize, you know, I guess on one level, that story could produce success, right? It’ll also make you miserable. it will also make you not a very good person in your worst expression. It could make you someone who cuts corners and maybe becomes someone who’s so ambitious that you’re when willing to take credit for stuff that other people did of seeing that in corporate settings. Now that’s a unhealthy three, but you get the idea, right? It’s like, you have to wake up and realize I want to be a success, but do I wanna build myself esteem on success? I don’t think so.
RV (25:11):
And so you, you, you basically just have to become aware of it. Like you just have to recognize, oh, whatever, like we’re, I think work AISM is a good example of going all I’m doing. And I think there’s a lot of people doing that. And obviously working from home makes that E easier probably than ever before is just going, why am I doing this? This is connected somehow to a story. I once told myself this old program that’s still there.
IMC (25:40):
And then, and what, and maybe part of what you want to confront is the first objection a person might have is. Yeah. But if I don’t keep doing this, I won’t be successful anymore. And what I would say is, well, that’s gonna cost you a lot. That’s gonna cost you relationships with children. It’s gonna, you know, it’s, it’s restricting you from living a full life. Now, the old part of the old story you have to confront is, uh, that I won’t be successful unless I continue to live by those rules. That’s a lie. You can continue to be successful and productive and not live by those rules and live with more freedom and happiness, you know, can you imagine how great it is to be successful and enjoy, you know, product, you know, being a productive person without having to build your self esteem on it. I mean, that’s a great feeling of freedom and that’s what I want people to experience.
RV (26:36):
Mm-hmm yeah. Mm. Yeah. I mean, um, and so when you talk about the rewrite, okay, so you gave us, you gave a sore, you talk about rewriting. Tell us a little bit, tell us a little bit about that. Right? Cause it’s, it’s actually, to me, it, it’s not that hard to spot this in ourselves, if we’re just looking for it because you kind of go, well, what’s my greatest strength. That’s also probably my greatest weakness. Like what I do the most of it’s also probably something that’s harming me. And, and specifically you could just go, like, where am I? Where am I losing in life? Or where am I not experiencing life? The way I want it. And then kind of go on the, the co what’s the cause of that. The cause of that is, is some underlying message that I’ve told myself over and over again. And so on the rewriting part of it. So just to touch on it real quickly, I know we don’t have a ton of time, but like, is there anything specific you have to do to rewrite it? I mean, is it basically like you literally take out a pen or a blank piece of paper and you write and say, boom, this is, this is what I’m letting go of. And this is what I’m choosing to adopt for the future.
IMC (27:48):
Absolutely. It’s not that hard in exercise. I mean, you could do it 350 words, that’s one page, right. Or you could begin there, right. It doesn’t have to be, oh my gosh, I gotta write a novel here. You know? Um, and also I would say, if you do the SOA part, you see it, you own it. You awaken to it as passive as it, as it sounds, you will have cleared away enough to bring at that point, that the story you wanna live will begin to emerge on its own. You know what I mean? It just starts to come up like green shoes. Okay. And you just begin to enjoy it. What you just described is in part self-awareness, I’m able to see when the old story is taking place. I then start making new decisions, like pause and people who don’t have, self-awareness worry.
IMC (28:32):
Here’s what they do. They bang guardrail to guardrail through other people’s lives. They’re on autopilot. They don’t even know their, why they’re doing the things they do. And they don’t know why they continue to do things they don’t wanna do. And they continue to do things. Uh, they don’t continue not to do things they do want to do. Right. It’s like, they’re like stuck in ground high bay, but once you get self-awareness, you’re able to say, you know, and you’ve done the exercise of saying, sitting down and going, well, what’s the life I wanna live. What am I afraid of? Uh, are those fears justified? Like, let me ask you as a three, right? Imagine if I said to you roaring next year, um, what would happen if your business went down 50% and you say I’m terrified of that idea. And I said to you, okay, well just tell me five reasons why you’re scared.
IMC (29:24):
And you might say, well, if I was honest, I’m afraid of reputation loss. I’m afraid of maybe people not respecting me as much as they used to. Mm-hmm , I’m afraid of not looking as successful as I did. I’m afraid that my self esteem is gonna go down. Right. And you could write a whole list and then I could just say to you, okay. So let’s imagine that happened. Would that be the end of the world? Uh, would you, do you think it’s a permanent thing? If your business goes down by half, you see what I mean? Like you’re unearthing and, and sort challenging that this is gonna be the end of the world. Right?
RV (29:55):
You kinda walk in that for a minute and realize it’s not as bad as you think. Yeah. I was, I was actually having this conversation with Louis House once, because I was saying, you know, I grew up with so little that my mind immediately goes back to, we’re gonna be broke living on the streets. Like it’s like, we’re so far away from that ever being a reality. And we have so many skills and relationships that it’s, you know, it’s pretty near impossible that that situation would ever happen. But it’s almost like I’m running at times from, uh, that extreme of a fear, because it was so deep rooted in who I was growing up and how little we had. And it’s like, what a silly thing to be running away from when you’re, when you’re like, you know, light years away. Like for it to still drive you like that.
IMC (30:48):
Yeah. And, but it’s, but at the same time, it’s really understandable. So, you know, be kind, I tell this all the time, be kind, there’s a reason that fear is in place. You you’ll know you’re in an old story. You just described it too. If your fears are disproportionate, right. It’s like, wait a minute. That is an over the top fear. It’s like, that is not true. But you know, what’s happening is literally your little brain is lighting up like it did when you were a kid. And you’re like, you know, well, of course it does. It doesn’t mean you have to continue to live by the rules, but of that. But you know, you have to have a little self compassion and say, look, I know where this comes from, but I also don’t need to live in the old story that that’s gonna be the end of the world. It’s all gonna be okay. I got a great wife, she’ll be there. I got great kids. They’ll be there. I got, you know, I’m a really smart person, you know, I’ll be able
RV (31:37):
To, you have God. I mean, you have faith. I mean, when you have faith and it’s like, you you’ve got everything. The other story that I would, I would say, Ian, that, that I see a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with is, um, they can’t delegate things because they are stuck in that perfectionism. They really believe the only person who can do it is me. If other people do it, they won’t do it as well as me. Uh, I have to do this myself. I’m the only one who knows how to do it. That story, maybe more than any other is the one that I can, like, I, I see it every day. It, it exists as a reality in their mind. And it, it is a prison sentence of their own construction. If they ever want to scale the business or grow a company or have a team, or just have a life because it traps you to doing everything yourself, um, you, you come across that one ever,
IMC (32:39):
Oh my gosh. I mean, all the time, I mean, you know, I come into a company and someone go, this guy is, this woman is such a control freak. Like that’s typical of engram, one provers, right? Perfectionism. It’s like, they constantly are rewriting things. I write, uh, they assign me things and then they redo them. Um, they are highly controlling. They’re not very good at praise, right? They’re a little stingy with praise. Like they go on and on about this personality style. And you know, of course that’s gonna restrict, growth’s gonna restrict, as you said, scaling a business. Right. Because it’s gonna put it, it’s a, what I would call a drag coefficient. Right. It’s gonna, it’s gonna slow down the, the, the, the boat, right. It’s like having an anchor off the back
RV (33:27):
Of the boat. That’s a good way of thinking about it.
IMC (33:29):
So, you know, um, that is an old story it’s based on, you know, some, you know, for example, I meet a lot of ones that grew up in families where they, you know, either got explicitly, someone told them you have to be perfect and, you know, always good and never make mistakes, or you’ll be punished in some way, you’ll be shamed or you’ll be, you know, told you’re not a good person or whatever. And so that story has to be looked at, or, you know, sometimes they, they had to fill a role of a parent, you know, because, uh, some parent was absent. They had to become an adult way too fast, you know, and step in and take care of his sisters and brothers. And there were no rules. And so they had to come up with the rules for themselves, you know? Um, and so, you know, we have to see that we gotta own it.
IMC (34:14):
We gotta awaken to when it’s coming online. And then we gotta rewrite a new story that says, I don’t have not, everything has to get done perfectly. I can’t keep hiring people and then not using them and trusting them. Right. Uh, I have to be okay with other people and myself making mistakes. That’s part of the journey. In fact, mistakes can be a great asset if I approach them wisely. So again, you know, um, these are the kinds of things I want to, and, you know, in the story of you, my goal was how do I help people break out of the prisons? They don’t even know they’re in, because that’s when those, when you don’t know where you’re in a prison, that’s the most secure prison in the world, right? Is the one you don’t know you’re in. And so, you know, I want people to experience freedom in their work life and their personal lives. Um, I want them to not only enjoy success, let’s say in business, I want them to have happier lives. I want them to have better marriages, better friendships, uh, with their kids, with their, you know, their peers, you know, I want, I don’t want them just to be successful in business, man. I want them to be successful in every area of their lives and to experience the joy of fulfillment.
RV (35:30):
Yeah. I love that. I, I, AJ read a book recently by Craig Rochelle called winning the war in your mind. And, uh, she told me, she said, one, one of the quotes in there was that the devil’s greatest victory is, is convincing the world. He doesn’t exist. It makes me think of like what you’re talking about. It’s a prison you live in. You don’t even realize that it’s there is guiding your life. Um, you’re stuck doing things that you don’t wanna do when you, uh, and not doing the things you do wanna do really, really powerful stuff. Ian. So, um, the, the, the book, everybody. Okay. So the book is called the story of you, um, the podcast typology, where else do you want people to go, Ian, if you want them to like, learn more about, you get connected to you, like what’s the, what’s the best place,
IMC (36:17):
Right? So, um, obviously the road back to you and the story of you are both, uh, great assets. They can go to my website. I a N M O R G a N C R O N. And there, they can learn about courses. They can learn about, uh, you know, my Enneagram assessment. We’re just coming out now with a, in fact it may be available when, by the time that you, uh, you know, broadcast this, uh, this interview is called the I E Q nine couples report. So you could actually, you know, you’re an engram three, I don’t know what your wife is. Um, but let’s say she’s a six, I’m making this up. You would get a report that shows how three sixes get along, what their challenges are, what their assets are. And it, it’s a, you know, it’s like a 40 page report, so it’s not, you know, something that’s, uh, it’s robust, right. Um, they can learn about all kinds of, you know, my speaking, you know, op you know, options there. And of course, on social it’s at Ian Morgan PRN across all the channels. And, um, yeah, I think that, that, uh, that probably covers most of it
RV (37:26):
Really, really cool Ian. Well, um, I think what a great, what, what, what a great cause to dedicate your time and career to self-awareness and, and so clear and specific and actionable about the work you’re doing there and the power and the impact that it’s having. So there’s it, you know, it makes a lot of sense to me why it’s, it’s spreading. And, um, that makes me happy because it’s, it’s, it’s really, really great work. So thank you for making time to be here. We wish you all the best. We’ll continue to follow your journey and, uh, just, just keep helping people, my friend,
IMC (38:00):
Thanks B. This was a delight.

Ep 300: Turning Your Expertise Into a Certification Program with Lethia Owens

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:54):
Hey, y’all and welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand podcast. This is AJ Vaden here I am. One of your co-hosts and I am joined today, Bobby one and the only lathe Owens, I’m gonna give her an official introduction in just a minute. But I’ve had the privilege to get to know lathe over the last, probably like almost a year. I think it’s been a year that we were introduced by a mutual friend and on our very first conversation, I was like, oh, I like this girl. These are my peoples. She’s such a joy. She just exudes joy. And if you’re not watching this, if you’re listening you’re not going to get to experience the full lathe experience because she’s just one of those people that as you watch her, she’s just got a smile on her face from ear to ear.
AJV (01:43):
She’s like one of those people that makes you in a better mood when you’re in her presence and so such a compliment to you, but I love her. I’m so excited that you’re on the show. So let me give everyone a quick official background on who you are. But VE Owens is a bestselling author. She’s a tech CEO and a branding expert and market domination, strategist domination like highlight that word. right. I was ranked number eight among the top 30 by global gurus. She’s also the author of the book brand influence the art and science and building an influential personal brand. What, you know, we’re all about here is building your personal brand. So this is gonna be a perfect conversation for everyone today. But she’s also the creator of your brilliance, which is a program for experts who wanna turn their course book or coaching system into a profitable certification program. So let’s build those revenue streams. Laia welcome to the show.
LO (02:41):
Oh, it’s my pleasure. I mean, to get an afternoon that I get to spend with you and your tribe and a a R’s tribe is just a, I mean, a big blessing. So I’m excited to be here.
AJV (02:51):
Oh girl, we love you. I think you’re so awesome. And you might not be as familiar to some people listening here today. So in an effort to help them get to know you a little bit, I would love for you just to like give people a little bit of your back story, just a little bit of your background and help everyone get high level perspective of how you got, where you so fill in.
LO (03:17):
Well, one of the things that has been really foundational for me is words that my mom whispered into my ear. When I was a little girl, she said, you were born for greater than this. And we fled in the middle of the night out of a very dark situation. And that has always stuck with me. And so I’ve used a very I’ve used grit and I’ve used tenacity and persistence to, to be successful in school and, and so forth. But where things really started for me was I was being mentored by the VP of learning and development at state farm. I I’m a techie, I’m a geek, right? I love, you know, technology. And as my mentor, she basically one day just said, Lithia, you are bigger than any opportunity state farm could ever provide. And I thought to myself, AJ, I’m like, is this how they fire people nowadays?
LO (04:04):
Like, am I being fired today? What’s going on? Right. But she gave me one of the biggest gifts ever. She saw something in me that I didn’t yet see in myself. And she said, you were meant to speak, to teach, to train, to write books, and you need to go out into the world and be who you are called to be. And I thought, wow, two weeks later, AJ, I incorporated my first company. And 11 months later, I quit my comfortable cushy corner off his job at state farm insurance company. And I took on a role where I am unemployed at the end of every day, until someone else sends me an email or a contract to say, we are booking you for a keynote or training or something like that. But the, the beauty of that is that I entered into the speaking world really clueless in the sense that I didn’t have an experience or knowledge about how people took information and, and took the ability to transform people through speaking and, and coaching.
LO (05:05):
I didn’t really understand that, but I knew in my heart that there was something more that I was born for greater than where I was at the time. And so I went on to quit. My job, 11 months later started my company and was in 2009, ranked number, number eight among the top 30 brand Gus in the world. And I basically agent just served my way into building a very successful speaking coaching and digital marketing agency. So that really is kind of how I got started. And I have utilized everything that I’ve ever been taught. I’ve packaged everything about who I am, and I’ve learned to pull that together into a brand that that would allow me to influence others and to transform others and to serve others. And when I was building out my company, you know, when I first started AJ, I, I wasn’t focused on branding. I just wanna make that clear because I know some people listening are like, man, she started and she was so clear about what she wanted and where she was going. Well, when I first started, if you asked me what I spoke on AJ, I would say whatever, you’re writing a check for
LO (06:15):
Whatever you need. And if you have a C girl, right. And it was really interesting because two of my million dollar mentors basically said, we’re not going to take your call, take your email, don’t contact us until you figure out your lane, your needs. Like, what do you really want to contribute into who whom you want to contribute that? And that’s when I went back and did the work and realized that most of my life, I have found ways to just stand my ground, to stand out and to be more of who I really am. And that probably is my superpower, like, you know, being bold enough and brave enough to be more of who I really am. And I realized through research that most people don’t live their lives that way. And they live their lives according to what people want from them or expect from them and things of that nature.
LO (07:07):
So growing up and, and taking a job out of college where I was a minority, not just female, not just, you know, African American, but being a minority in the sense that I worked in a male dominated industry. So I was both black and female, and I was constantly pressured to be someone I’m not. And I said, no, I’m not going to you know, really most people want you to assimilate. And I said, no, I’m not going to assimilate because when you assimilate, you lose a part of who you are. Wow. But I said, no, instead I will integrate. I will find my fit. And then I will be great at that. And so when you look at what I did from a business perspective and a corporate perspective, I did the same thing. I showed up like a game changer, brave enough to be who I really am. And I found how out, how to integrate. So how do I integrate who I am into this corporate space and be the best at that? Or how do I in this big marketplace find my fit and integrate what I have to offer with what it is that people need. Right. So that’s pretty much kind of how I got my start and I have been loving, it’s been 17 years since I walked out of the door at state farm insurance company. And I would not trade anything for the world.
AJV (08:24):
Oh man. That’s so good. That’s like a tweetable moment. It’s like, don’t assimilate integrate. And so I think like there’s something really into there. I wanna talk about for just a second. And I’m just curious to get your thoughts on it. And you know, I have two young boys, right? I have a, a two and a half year old and just turned five year old. And my five year old has a lot of testosterone. right. He’s got a lot of what his teacher says leadership potential mm-hmm which other parents may say he’s a bully or whatever. And it was really interesting. And I’m really grateful for this homeschool teacher that we have. She’s a facilitator for a few families. And she, she says, AJ, God has given your child immense leadership potential, please don’t discipline it out of him.
AJV (09:15):
Don’t coach it out of him. Don’t train it out of him, help him channel it in the right direction. And so we’ve been trying to do that. And then he’s on this little tee-ball team right now. And at his last tee-ball game, he’s straight up body tackles another five year old, his teammate because the teammate got the ball first and he wanted it. And so I like marked up to the fence and I’m like, Jasper James faded get over here. And he goes, what? And I’m like, you have to respect your teammates. You have to respect your coach. And the coach was trying to get Jasper up and Jasper swung at his coach. And I was like, in this day, I was like, please, no one, no one arrests me. Like this is not like what we do in our house. And then the coach came up to me after the game.
AJV (09:59):
And I’m, I so appreciate this. And I’ll never forget this moment. And he said, listen I know you think that’s too aggressive. And he goes, let me tell you an aggressive ball player is the ball player I want in my team. He goes, Jasper is by far the best thrower and the most aggressive person I have on this team. You let me handle this. You don’t worry about it, but I don’t wanna coach that out of him. And I kind of feel like God was just like using these other people in my life to remember that each of us are made original and unique. He made us don’t mess it up. Don’t mess it up. Don’t assimilate, figure out how to integrate these skillset. Right. Don’t assimilate, figure out how to integrate. I love that. And so for all of those people listening, right?
AJV (10:44):
It’s like at some point we assimilated out of our gifts. Most of us did. So how did you figure out, like how, what did you do and what would you tell to other people to figure out, like, what is that lane that you wanted to be in? And like, how did you figure out? It’s like, no, I’m not gonna speak on everything anymore. Like, this is what I speak on. This is what I speak about. I, I would just, I know, you know, we talk a lot about this at brand builders group. I’d love to hear your take on this for the audience. Like how did you do it?
LO (11:15):
Yeah. So it, it, that excellent question. I was very intentional, first of all, and it started with me believing that there was some, I didn’t know what it was. I, I really didn’t, but I, I just had this feeling that I was put here to make a significant and unique contribution. Mm. And so I started trying to figure out, like, what are the attributes about me that are different than other others? What, what about how I do what I do and how I show up, how I show up, that’s unique to me. And when we look at our individual attributes and, and our wiring, those are all clues to the greatness that lies within us and the game changer. Like I believe everyone is a game changer or, or can be a game changer. I’ll say it that way. And when we take a look at, at the, in inner workings of why do we think the way that we think and start asking those deep questions and really analyzing what comes forth?
LO (12:15):
What I realized was in answering questions that, wow, I have been a person who even a missed, like really strong pressure, have chosen to stand for what I believe mm. Have chosen to be who I feel I am. And I, through the research, realizing through, ask, answering questions and asking myself questions. It’s always the cube, BQ the question behind the question behind the question behind the question, you keep going deeper and deeper and deeper. And I began to see things I’d not seen before. And I began to see patterns about myself. And, and when you take a personal brand assessment or do work in that, in that realm, you know, the many questions you answer and the, the deeper you dig patterns start to, you know, emerge. And I started looking at the patterns and I realized that, you know, I lead through serving. So I realize I’m a servant leader.
LO (13:11):
I realize that I am willing to, to take risks. And I won’t let, what, I don’t know, stop me from going after what I want. So there’s this, this little, a part of my brand is a little bit naivete. Right. So I, I don’t know that I’m supposed to fail in the first seven years of being in business. Like, I, I, I, I didn’t know that. Right. and so there are a lot of things I didn’t know. and I use it to my advantage. I didn’t know that. Right. I didn’t know that you’re supposed to, you know, that you’re not supposed to grow as fast as my business grew. I, I grew so quickly as a new professional speaker that I had speakers who had been speaking for 10 years saying, wait a minute, how did you do that? Yeah. And I’m like, I didn’t know that you were supposed to not do this.
LO (13:55):
Right. And so that’s how I really like discovered. And this whole idea of being a game changer, Hey, Jay, I asked deep questions of myself. Like I even, for, for MI, much of my life didn’t even leverage the whole thing of being born for greater that my mother told me it was just something that was in the back of my head. But as I began to realize that that’s part of my unique thinking that I am born for greater than this, whatever. I hit a wall. It’s like, this is not, this is not my portion. This is not where I’m supposed to, to, to, to stay and realizing that there’s always something more. And then that word game changer came up in me and real. And I realized, that’s the name of my business game changers international, because my mother was the first game changer I ever met.
LO (14:38):
AJ. She took me out of a very abusive relationship that she had with her, her boyfriend at the time. And we fled with nothing. And my mother survived and thrived. My mother didn’t even graduate from school with a high school diploma. But yet when I became a teen mom, my mother quit her job, got a job at night as a security guard so that I could go back to school. So I traveled from Dallas to Dubai, inspiring and transforming people all over the world because they game changer named flora Lewis had enough compassion, wisdom, and courage to make a decision that would impact me positively, even though it was sacrificial to her. Right? so you don’t, it doesn’t matter what your income is and what your, your economic status is or where you come from. You can be a game changer because it’s all about your mindset.
LO (15:32):
Game changer, obsessed with what could be. My mother looked at me and said, what could be with my daughter? They don’t focus on the past, right? People who are game Watchers, they, they, they focus on what has happened. Game changers, make things happen. They’re innovators and early adopters. And they take risks when others want to play it safe. You know, some people won’t and I heard Simon Sinek say this. He said, some people won’t get a new cell phone until they can’t get service on their old cell phone. They won’t get a smartphone until their flip phone can no longer be serviced. Right? So their early adopters and their mindset is just very different. They’re always asking and thinking about what could be in the future. And that’s really how I’m wired. So when I began to label and, and really package how I’m wired, that’s where, you know, you know, integrate don’t assimilate came from, I was able to really study how I’ve been showing up in the world, cuz it it’s worked now, what can I learn from that? And how can I use that to actually package a personal brand for me that I can use to go out and serve the world.
AJV (16:39):
Oh man, you said two things in there that were so good. And I love this. I wrote em down. I literally was like, strike this down. You said game changers, focus on what could be game Watchers, focus on what happened. Like what was, and you know, it’s like, that is so good. It’s like, are you gonna be a part of change in the game or just watching the game? And you know, and I think so much of that to what you said, it’s like, what could be like what could be, and you know, the second thing I love, you said, I love this so much. It’s like one of my personal mantras right now is people. It is so much more important for us to focus on who you are, not what you do. And like, to what you said, it’s like, you do not have to have a diploma, money, credentials, anything to be a game changer in someone else’s life. That’s right. You just gotta show up. You gotta just be that person, like be who God intended you to be. And like, I mean, is your mom still around? And she’s still alive.
LO (17:36):
She’s been deceased now for 10 years. But she lives with me every day. Cuz I name all my cars after her. So when I give him a car, I’m like, come on flow. Let’s go
AJV (17:46):
I love it. I mean, I was like, say, if your mom is still around, you have got to send her this episode. My mom too is deceased. She died when I was 15, but it’s like what an honoring legacy for your mother to have of like she created an environment and a mentality of teaching me that I can, I can do it. Like I can do this and focusing on what could be. And I think like the great thing that I, I heard in that it’s like just that reminder to everyone who’s listening who says to yourself, I’m not smart enough. Right? Right. I don’t know enough. I don’t have enough experience. I don’t have enough resources. I don’t have enough money. I don’t have enough time. I don’t know the right people BS that is BS. Like that is nonsense. That is fear talking.
LO (18:35):
Yeah. And we have to check our BS, check our belief system. Mm-Hmm because it’s what you believe about yourself and your situation that determines how you’re actually going to show up and what you’ll be able to realize and accomplish and like, right. Ah, yeah. So yeah. I heard that from coach qua. She told me that she said check your BS. And I was like, whoa. She said, yeah, your belief system, girl.
AJV (19:00):
I talk about this, this concept of game changers for a second. Right? Mm-hmm so like when it comes to game changers, right. Someone who’s willing to ask what could be like, I think that’s an unusual mindset. I think a lot of people look around and they see what other people are doing and that they think that’s what they should do. They assimilate. Right. But to be a game changer, you gotta think outside the box, you gotta do something different. So like in your mind, like what makes a game changer? A game changer?
LO (19:28):
Yeah. It kind of goes back to the, the mindset that I talked about and thinking about, and, and actually being obsessed with what could be, but game changers are the world may think they’re really self centered, but I think game changers are very other centered because what a lot of what game changers do. And at the end of one of my videos where I talk it’s called born for greater, I say that my grandchildren will benefit from the things I do today, far greater than I will. And game changers, I think have a legacy mentality. And they’re what they’re doing. They’re doing because they want the gift that they’ve been given and the impact of that gift to live long after they’ve, you know, taken their last breath. Great example, being a game changer. When I started, when I had my first grandchild, when she was probably three years old, Andre and I decided that we would start a company that would become a company that each of our grandchildren would become a part owner with us in.
LO (20:32):
So that when they say grandma, I wanna go to this spring camp, there is money that they, you know, have access to, to be able to, to do. When they say, grandma, I wanna go to this college. If they don’t buy some chance, get a full ride scholarship. We have a company that can fund their education when they graduate and say, grandma, I wanna be a doctor and I gotta buy my first office. Hey, you are now part owner in an organization that you can take your distribution and do what with it, whatever you would. So if you wanna be a doctor, you now have an, an income that’s coming from a business that was created so that you would have options when you get older that’s game changing, thinking like game changer thinks, you know, game changer thinking that’s how game changers do things differently.
LO (21:19):
Like they don’t just say, Hey, I’m gonna start a business for me, which I did. My speaking business is for me, but our digital marketing agency, that money is being saved and put aside for our grandchildren. And it doesn’t really even take like game changers. Don’t have to be brilliant or smart people. They are compassionate people who love serving others and who wanna leave and, and they wanna influence and leave an impact. So when you, who are you leaving an impact for? It’s not for yourself because when you die, you can’t take it all with you and put it in a coffin. So it’s usually because you’re thinking about lasting impact and lasting legacy. So that’s what I want people to know about being a game changer. It’s hard for people, I think to be game changers when they’re very self centered and self focused and it’s all about them.
LO (22:07):
And we have had some people who are narcissist and egotistical, you know, become very successful in life. And while they may be successful and rich and wealthy, I would question sometimes if they’re really truly game changers. Yeah. So those are some things that I think really help us to identify and to see game changers. And I love celebrating people who are game changers. And I remember telling you that I have watched you and Rory for a while and I wanted to be a part of the work that you’re doing because of who you were. I didn’t even know what, what were, what, what, what, what, what is it that I’m actually, you know, I didn’t know what I was exactly getting. I knew you were a game changer that I wanted to connect with. And when you see a game changer, I think we benefit when we make decisions that put us in the space with them, because game changer me game changer. Like that’s when, when the two collide that is a formative for, you know, just amazing things to happen. So I’m just excited that, you know, we’re a year into our journey together, but I know it’s gonna be something fabulous.
AJV (23:11):
You know what, there’s so many things that I love what you’re saying. We’re so like minded in this, you know, element of like building a personal brand. And you know, somebody asked me the other day I was on this a little local TV interview and she said, well, what would you tell people who think that’s building a personal brand is very self-centered and ego focused. And I remember her asking this question, I kind of like glazed over. And I was like, I would say, they’re completely wrong. I like this. Isn’t about being self focused. This is about being others focused. I said the only thing that is self focused is think, thinking that your personal brand is about you. Like, that’s the thing that is self focused and yes, that you’ve really built a business around serving right. About being this other focused mentality.
AJV (23:58):
And you know, it’s a funny thing to kind, kind of say, it’s like, my business is serving and I’m gonna make money by serving, but it’s like, what better business to be in than being in the business of serving like, right. Like what, so I’m curious to just like, hear that philosophy around like this creating legacy through serving and building a business through serving, like, how do you do it? Like, how do you create that mindset? What would you tell anyone listening who’s like struggling to put themselves out there because they don’t wanna be seen as self-centered or self-focused or too self promotional? Like what would you say to all those things?
LO (24:39):
Well, I would just say that and be very transparent and say that I’ve lived on both sides of the coin. So growing up so poor that we couldn’t even afford to pay attention. I have always wanted more than just enough and for a, a period in my life and in my business, the goal was to make money because when I went to the grocery store, AJ, if they said five for a dollar, I had to get five. My husband could see five for a dollar and get one. I couldn’t do that because I never wanted to be hungry again. I wanted to make sure we always had more than enough. And so I really out of grit in hustle and grinding, started building my business the first few years. And then a beautiful thing happened when one of my mentors sat me down and said, you are more than enough.
LO (25:39):
So I don’t have to strive. I don’t have to hustle. I don’t have to grind. I realized then that all I had to do was find my superpower, find my fit, the people I’m called to serve and then do that exceptionally well every day. Right? And so this whole idea of serving my way to the top and I, I often say I served my way into a better business because I stopped seeking profit. And this is gonna sound weird to a lot of people. I stopped seeking profit and I started seeking, how can I fulfill purpose? See prop profit follows, purpose, purpose. Doesn’t always follow profit, if that makes sense. So I realized that if I under, if I, if I can get clear about what I was born to do and the gifts that I have to contribute to the world, and I get really, really good at serving in that way, money would follow me all day long, all day long.
LO (26:34):
There’s even a scripture where God says everywhere you look, there would be blessings, blessings, blessings chasing you down. And I realized that, wow, I don’t have to seek money or wealth or fame. And actually the, actually the more successful I became, the less fame I wanted now I’m like, I don’t even want people to see my face. Can we do this zoom without showing my face? Right? Like I don’t care that they know my face as much as they experience the transformation that I can provide. If that makes sense. Yeah. I love that. So that’s really what it, what it’s about for me and this whole idea of, you know, serving, I, I just wanna share that sometimes you have to allow other people to serve you as well. I would not be where I am today. If my mother hadn’t served me. If, if people haven’t other people hadn’t served me and helped me along the way. So service is really a, a two-way a two-way street, but the idea that we get to not have to, but we get to serve the people that we touch every day. And it is an honor and a privilege because not everyone understands their gift and their purpose.
AJV (27:46):
Oh yeah. And I think you said something that just hit me cuz he’s like, I love sub serving others and sometimes I have a really hard time receiving. And I think what I just heard that just hit me for the first time that hit me this way ever in my whole life is that by me, denying someone else to serve me, I’m denying them their own uniqueness and their own purpose.
LO (28:08):
Yes, absolutely. You got it. You
AJV (28:11):
Got it. I say, I think, you know, it’s like you get into this mode of like, it’s my job to serve and you forget, well, it’s also other people’s job to serve and it’s like, you can be the giver and the recipient at the same time. Absolutely. And it’s, I’ve never heard it click that way before. It’s like the moment that I deny someone else serving me, it’s like, I’m denying them. They’re God-given purpose and they’re calling in their life.
LO (28:33):
Yeah. And you’re robbing them of the opportunity to go through the same beautiful experience that you go through when you serve. Right. And you mentioned something, AJ, you said, you know, what about the people who are listening? Who, you know, don’t know if, if they’re good enough or they don’t know if, if they can really, you know, do this right. And it’s important for them to understand that they have the ability to do everything they’re called to do already within them. It may take some refining of a gift in talent. It may take exploration of a gift in talent. It may be even that they PR if they just need practice with that, you know, exercising that gift and talent, but we all have a unique gift and something that we can bring to the table, game changers are duplicators. Mm God created us after himself and his own image.
LO (29:29):
He created, he was the master creator. Therefore we were created to create and to duplicate wealth, duplicate love, duplicate success, duplicate things. Right. Right. So when we talk about legacy and when we talk about impact and influence with other individuals, it really is about duplicating more good. Yeah. In this world, it’s almost like a, a brand I help the client build called intentional serendipity and, and serendipity is good fortune. And what we did through the work together and the research that, that I did to, to bring to her is I realized that you could intentionally create more good fortune. Yeah. Based on how you live and the brand you choose to BR to build.
AJV (30:10):
Mm there’s so much truth in that, like one of my favorite Bible verses is that of Genesis that says it’s real simple, be fruitful and multiply right. Be fruitful and multiply. Right. Yeah.
LO (30:23):
Anything that’s not growing is either dead or dying. Yeah. So when we are growing and being fruitful and when we’re duplicating, that means we are the zest of life that we are actually fulfilling, you know, our purpose. Oh, I could talk to you all day long.
AJV (30:40):
Oh, say we’re long sermon here in a second, but love it. I love these conversations. And you know, it’s like, I know not, maybe not all of our listeners share the same faith and that’s okay. But to be able to share, you know, business with people that man, they just, they, they feel called to their faith, whatever that faith is. It’s like, yeah, I’m a believer in Jesus Christ. And like he’s my Lord in savior. And to get to, you know, spread that and not be ashamed about it. Man, I just beautiful. I love it. I love that. You speak it. I love that. You know, it, I love that. It’s a part of who you are. You’ve got this service mentality and, and I think for everyone too, it’s like a huge takeaway in all of this is, and I love what you said. It’s like, like serve your way to the top. Right. That’s right. Serve your way to the top. Where is there any harm in that? There’s like, that is there , it’s like the more you serve, the more good is gonna come your way. Right. Right. I just, I so believe in that,
LO (31:40):
One of my biggest breaks in business has come from serving my way to the top. And here is another thing about game changers. They see what others don’t see. Mm they’re. Willing to go where others won’t go. So I remember being a very new speaker and I was at the national speakers association conference and they announced that the international Federation of professional speakers summit was gonna be in Dubai. And so I’m standing with all of these colleagues and I’m like, I’m going. And they’re like, yeah, we’re going. So a year later, when it’s time to register, I’m like, are you going no, I’ll see what happened was, are you going no, da da. So I ended up having no one who said they were going actually be in a position to go, but game changers can see what other people can’t see and will do what others won’t do.
LO (32:26):
So I remember my husband who was my business partner, he said, but honey we’re still trying to figure this whole thing out. Like we don’t have enough revenue for you to go all the way, halfway around the world to Dubai. And I looked at him and I said, without even thinking, I said, the gifts God has given me and the path he has put us on must be sufficient to provide for us. It just must be. And that’s that naivety that I talk about sometimes it’s like, I mean, like, it just has to work out, right. It just has to work out. And I remember being in Dubai, hanging out with the president of the national speakers association, everyone who was there, their, their, their speaking fee was like 20,000 plus. And I was like $3,500. so I’m like still at the bottom of the bottom of the bottle. And I was there on points. I was there on miles and I had Ram noodle in my suitcase, but AJ, I was there.
AJV (33:16):
That’s right.
LO (33:17):
And when I gave my presentation and, and not only that, I actually applied to be a speaker at the conference and was selected. So here I am presenting at this conference and someone sitting in the front row that had been someone I admired for years, who was a huge successful speaker sitting on the front row. And another woman sitting on the front row became a client. She booked, I mean, she, before I left Dubai, we had an engagement, a contract written, but the person on the front row said to me, Janice Stanfield said, where have you been all my life that I didn’t know about you? And then that led to an invitation to speak at the national speakers association with led, which led to other opportunities. And now every year I go to Dubai and do a seven day game changers mastermind retreat. So my whole business started to have these little spokes that came off of me seeing what other people couldn’t see and being willing to do what other people wouldn’t do.
AJV (34:18):
That’s truth all day long every day. If you don’t ask the answer is always no,
LO (34:25):
Absolutely.
AJV (34:26):
Don’t ask. It’s always no. Oh my goodness. I could talk to you all day long. I love this. And I’m gonna have I’m, I’m trying to be cognizant of the time sometimes I forget. But before we all go I asked you a question before I hit record, because like one of the big things that I’m focused on right now in my personal life is making sure that people get to know who you are as much as what you do. And so I asked you before we hit records, you know, I said, I wanna know one thing that’s not on your bio that you think people should know. And what is it? And you said I wish people knew that I was a builder. Like you love to build things, right? Like all kinds of things like actual building things like nails and hammers and tools. Like you love them build things. So I wanna know a little bit about that. Like, what do you like to build? Why do you like to do this? Where did this come from?
LO (35:15):
if it includes a compound Mir, so nails a drill hammer. Like I am on it. I have laid my own hardwood floors, ceramic pile. The thing that I’ve probably enjoyed the most outside of building the faux fireplace in my bedroom is I actually built out all of the cabinets and the whole beautiful woodwork that was in my previous office. I built that’s amazing over the course of maybe three or four weeks, but anything that has to do with getting my hands dirty or using my hands is what I love. And, and, and what I love about that too, is I can see the similarity and my love for building up people. Mm. You know, so even with people I’m not using necessarily my hands, but being a builder, I’m a builder of people and I’m a builder of things. So anytime there’s that process of being able to take something in this raws form and use, you know, my brilliance to transform it into something even greater, I’m all for it.
AJV (36:16):
Oh, there’s some good metaphors and analogies in that lathes the builder. And I know that I could continue talking to you for the rest of the day, if we had time that we did. I just so honored to have you on the show. And you’ve actually you’ve got a really cool thing coming up. Right. So in coordination with the release of this podcast, you also have a certify your brilliance that is launching. Right. So tell us a little bit about what that is. And we’re gonna put a really awesome link in the show notes to check this out, but tell us about certify your brilliance.
LO (36:52):
Absolutely. Well, what I’ve come to realize is that people who have books, people who have coaching programs and people who have even created amazing presentations and speeches, they are often thinking about what’s next for me? How can I generate an additional stream of revenue and, and what I’ve decided to do, because I’ve done it and beat my head against the wall, trying to figure it out. You’ve done it. And lots of other people have done it, but there’s no real resource anywhere that you can go pull a book off of the shelf or take a course to learn how to turn your expertise, whether it’s your book, your coaching program, or your speech into a certification program so that you can exponentially increase your revenue. And so I decided that I would talk to the most brilliant people in the world. People like you and interview them to find out, yeah, how did you do it?
LO (37:42):
And what I’m excited about is I’ve been interviewing people. I am getting like the nitty nitty gritty gritty inside the Diddy Diddy information. And they have been, I mean, people have just been so transparent and so giving to share, this is how I did it because it is not easy. And if you don’t have a roadmap or blueprint this is a place to come to really just learn how to take, you know, what you’re dreaming of and actually package it in a way and protect it so that you can actually reach more people than you ever could. If you only tried to, you know, do it and work through the process by yourself. So you’ll be able to reach potentially hundreds of thousands of people more because you have ambassadors. Yeah. Who all over the world are sharing your message and transforming lives. So I just, because it’s also a part of just being, it’s a game changing move to create a certification program. I’m just so excited to share that with the world. And I’m excited that you’re actually sharing the link and the information of how to actually access this free summit and this information with your tribe. Thank you so much for
AJV (38:50):
Doing that. Oh my gosh. Well I know just firsthand and it’s like, we’ll put the link in the show notes. It’s gonna be available to you, but I was fortunate enough to be a guest in all of this. And I know firsthand from the questions you’re asking, like this is pulling back the curtain, right? It’s like, like we’re, we’re not holding back. It’s like, these are the mistakes. This is what you should not do. This is what we did. This is what worked. This is what did it, this is how we charged for it. This is what’s included. It’s like, it’s literally pulling back the curtain of how do you like to what you said? And I love that. It’s like, how do you turn your expertise into a certification program? And that’s what it is. And so be sure to head over to the show notes, grab that link, check it out. You’re gonna get to learn all about all the things that you have to offer, including how to certify your brilliance. So, but on social, what’s the best platform to do that,
LO (39:49):
Or it LinkedIn or Facebook and my handle everywhere. Whether you have another platform you’d like to, to communicate on is at Lithia Owens.
AJV (39:57):
All right. So you heard it here. I’m so excited to introduce you to our community and our audience. I love your spirits. I love, I just love everything that you have to say is just it’s. I don’t know. There’s just something about your essence that I just, I just adore. So thank you so much for coming onto the show. Everyone stick around for the recap episode and we’ll catch you next time on the influential personal brand.

Ep 298: Overcoming Sales Reluctance with Dean Graziosi

RV (00:03):
I am really excited and honored to introduce you to somebody who I’ve just recently gotten to know. And I wanna tell you why I’m bringing him to you. First of all, before I tell you who he is and what incredible things you’ve done, which you’re already gonna recognize who it is. But I saw this gentleman stand on stage and make a generous offer to support the victims in Uvalde, Texas, and their families, and to support another man who’s really, really near and dear to me at my let in a way that made a massive difference. And when I think of influence and how you create influence in the world, it speaks volumes to me about who are the people you surround yourself with and who are the people who will come out to help you. And Dean Graziosi stepped up in such a huge way with such a pure heart and being in the same room with him.
RV (00:53):
And we’d never met before, but the night before ed my let’s event, we were at dinner and I just caught, I caught 0% arrogance pretentiousness 0%. I’m better than youness. It was, it was a hundred percent. We’re here to do a mission to support ed, to support the people watching. And then he spontaneously throughout, you know, a pretty generous offer to help a lot of people. And you know, that was, that is how I got to know Dean Graziosi. Now you probably have heard of him before, right? He’s a multi New York, multi-time New York times bestselling author. He has worked with at least 14 major companies that are eight and nine figures that he’s helped him grow significantly. Of course he has millions of social media followers. He’s got lots of different programs, a couple of his books, millionaire success, success habits.
RV (01:45):
And then also the underdog advantage are have been, you know, read, bought, sold hundreds of thousands of people. And in 2019, he began a partnership with Tony Robbins and they started mastermind.com. And they have a, a, a program called the KBB the knowledge business blueprint, and they’ve helped over 50,000 people in this business. And the expert space understand how to better monetize what they’re doing, get their, their passion out to more people extend their reach. And so anyways, when I met Dean, I said, yeah, man, you know, we’re not gonna, we’re not gonna be one of your top affiliates probably, but the way that you have ENCA interacted over the last couple days, I would love to be a part of introducing you formally to our, our community who we hold sacred and dear. So with that, welcome to the stage, the one and only Dean Graziosi.
DG (02:39):
Sorry. Thank you, man. That, that was a great introduction. I’m on vacation for just five days of my family and just happened to what a perfect spot it’s like. It’s great. They got the flag out front. But it, this was important. I come on with you, man. It, it was a pleasure to meet you. I saw what you stepped up and did for ed. He he’s a dear friend of mine and, and you did nothing but serve and help him get that great book in a lot of people’s hands. And I, I just wanted to do my part for everybody else. Listen, I know you got lots of options. Glad you’re here with us today. I promise that we’re gonna deliver some massive value today in the next 25 or 30 minutes. I, I know people have choices. So when you’re here, I always feel like I’m, I’m on like I’m performing.
DG (03:14):
Like I, I gotta bring it because you got lots of other options. So, and I know how much the depth of how Rory cares. We got the chance to know each other a little better. So pleasure to be here. And this is the perfect audience. This, you just explained who this is and what you do. And it’s so amazing when we have that desired dream passion, or sometimes it’s not even a dream. You just so, oh my God, I could be in an industry of sharing. What I know help serve others, help people get faster to the end result, help people avoid the mistakes I made or go quicker to where they wanna be or a million other things. When you get that under your skin, that we can truly, and this is the, this is easy for me to talk to this audience when we truly can make an impact and serve while simultaneously having the ability to create massive success in an industry that’s exponentially growing.
DG (04:04):
That is a real, real a rare combo. There’s not many places where you can impact and serve and create a thriving business. That’s why I’m, I love it. That’s why I think you probably love it. And today I wanna help deliver whatever I can to help you go faster, quicker, because this is a time the world needs the best version of you. We know we have 41 year high inflation. We know we’re headed towards a recession. We know we’re in an economic winter. We know that some people are, a lot of people are gonna hurt through this time, but we also know this industry is gonna grow through this. This industry is gonna be there to serve and help people. So I believe right now is a time we have to find another gear. We have to tap into our full potential. We can’t leave anything on the table. God, the universe, people, the world, whatever you believe need us, need the best version of us. Now, our family need the best version version of us now. And this is one of those rare things that if you do it right, and as you know, if you’re in this, this is a time you’ll actually grow. So anything I can do to help serve any of those topics I’m here.
RV (05:05):
Yeah. So here’s, here’s a, here’s one that I’ve always, I’ve always wanted to, to ask you about for our audience. So we, we refer to our audience Dean as mission driven messengers. So they are people who truly care about the mission more than the money, but sometimes it’s to their own detriment. Sometimes they struggle to sell because they feel like it’s pushy. Sometimes they’re shy about marketing cuz they feel like it’s vain. Sometimes they feel like if I’m asking people for money, you, you know that like somehow it’s, it’s very selfish. And I think one of the things that you do really well is you are, you are super service minded in terms of trying to help people, but you’re also very bold and straightforward in terms of like being convicted in why people should take a next step. Yeah. So if someone is wrestling, how do you wrestle with that? Like how do you reconcile that? Like
DG (06:00):
Really great, really great question. I’ve been helping people with that. If you don’t mind. I, I I’d love to jump right in here because sales, because we grew up with watching cheesy sales people on TV and, and somebody might have been sold something that didn’t serve you. So many people have this negative association with sales mm-hmm . But the fact of the matter is if you don’t fall in love with marketing and sales, anything you’re thinking of doing is gonna be just a dream sales and marketing is the oxygen for every successful business on this planet. Do you think mother Teresa was a saleswoman? Of course she was. She’d go into a city and they’d say no protests here within three hours. She’d have the mayor, the governor and everybody else on her back supporting her saying, let’s do whatever this woman wants. You think Martin Luther king was a salesman.
DG (06:42):
Do you think there was other men who wanted to help civil rights and change the world because it was unjust. Do you think there was a lot of people that wanted he did because he was influential and a salesperson and marketed himself. And look at the change that man made to the world, right? Our association to sales is the reason that we might feel icky about it. If you don’t love what you do, if you’re selling an inferior product, if you’ve dabbled and created a half, half baked coaching program, then you should feel bad. But I’m gonna tell you the first thing to do love what you do so much. You feel bad if people don’t use it just simple as that. Mm-Hmm you creating a course, a workshop, a mastermind, a a weekend zoom call a weekend retreat at a hotel. Love it so much that you know, if people don’t utilize it, you’re doing them a disservice.
DG (07:28):
I’m gonna give you a quick little story here. I think it, it really, cuz I’ve been asked this question a lot over the last 25 years of doing this. And I was on stage with five. It was three or four or 5,000 business. Women and women sometimes feel this more than men when it comes to marketing and sales. And I said, who’s ready for, you know, I was in my middle, my presentation say who’s ready for another level. Who wants this? Who wants that? Ever. They were fired up amazing audience. And I said, who’s a little apprehensive or scared or don’t let, doesn’t like selling almost all of their hands went up. Mm. So there’s a woman in front couple rows in, I called on her. I said, Hey, what do you, what do you do? She’s like, oh my God, I help women through trimester four.
DG (08:06):
Nobody knows what that is. That is after the baby, you feel insane. You still look like you’re pregnant. You feel like your life isn’t yours anymore. Cause you got this baby and you don’t know if your husband loves you anymore. And it’s this crazy time emotionally. She goes, I went through hell. But then I found a way to get myself strong and save. And she goes, now I help women go through that. And I, I have gooses cause she’s so passionate about it. Or she was like, so passionate. I said, are you good? She goes, oh my God. I love these women. I empower them. I change ’em and she tells me this. I said, I wanted to break her state. I said, then why are you screwing women over? And she’s like, well, I don’t understand. I said, you said you don’t like sales and marketing and her mannerism.
DG (08:44):
She went, no, I feel bad. I said, so then you’re willing to let women suffer in silence because you have the ability to help them. Can you help them? Oh my God, are you good at I’m the best? Do you love the women? You help more than anything. I was put on this earth to serve these women. I said, here’s the thing. If you build it, they will not come. I don’t care how great you are, how much you love these women. It will not come unless you find a way to attach service to marketing. When you realize every time a woman says yes and cut you a check, you get to impact her lives, her life in an amazing way. And if you don’t only two things can happen. That woman suffers in silence and never gets help. Or she goes to someone who’s not as good as you, but they’re better at marketing.
RV (09:26):
Mm.
DG (09:27):
And I watched three, four, I, I think it was 4,000 women. I watched, I watched cheers and no one had ever given him permission to look at it that way. And I know you, maybe you have, or you thought, but really, maybe, maybe today’s the first time you really heard it. That if you don’t sell, you don’t serve. So you could keep working on your, if it’s comfortable to work on your curriculum, if it’s comfortable to design the logo, you’re probably, if you’re not making the money you want or the impact you want, you’re probably working on the things that make you feel comfortable. And you’re avoiding the things that, ah, I don’t know about the marketing. I’ll get back to it. I’m gonna encourage you today to lean into the parts that are, you’re a little uncomfortable with gain capabilities, fall in love with what you do on a whole nother level. Cause when you fall in love with your product, then gets what the byproduct is. You fall in love with gaining capabilities about marketing and sales from those who’ve already been there. And when that combo comes together, oh my God. It’s magic.
RV (10:25):
Oh, that’s so good. I mean, and, and, and also true, you know, like a lot of the people who are winning in this space today, they’re not necessarily the best or the smartest, but they’re, they are great at marketing. Like it is a marketing game. So here’s another thing I’ve always wanted to ask you. Ads. So ads is another thing that people are afraid to do. Like, oh, it feels cheesy. It feels maybe like I’m cheating or I’m scared of losing money or it’s like, how do I, you know, spend money, not knowing if I’m gonna make that money back or going well, is it, it’s not the same. It’s more competitive yet. I’ve seen, you know, you run ads, you’ve done info initials. Like you’ve done so many things of like, I’m gonna make sure I get myself out to the world. So can you just like, if someone’s reluctance about spending money on advertising, what’s your, what’s the Dean Graziosi? Like what goes on in your head to be like, yeah, I’m gonna dump a bunch of money into this. Not knowing if it’s gonna come back to you.
DG (11:26):
Yeah. So because we’re stuck in a frame of what traditional advertising is. So I really want you to hear this traditional say, brand advertising, say, you’re advertising Coca-Cola you might have somebody drinking a Coke while they’re playing basketball or on stage, or you might have a Coke and a movie, or you might have a billboard or a radio ad or a TV ad. But none of it equates to the exact sale, right? That’s more of brand advertising. I wanna get my brand out there. And I want everybody to know about me, right? What we do in direct response, marketing and advertising is you measure every dollar. If I spend a dollar on Facebook, does 75 cents come back or a dollar 25 come back. So first and foremost know that there’s never gonna be a time right now. We’re Tony Robbins and I are getting ready to do a challenge here.
DG (12:18):
We’re gonna spend a lot of money on promoting this free five day challenge, but we know our metrics. We know every time we spend a dollar, how much we need to come back in order to make it so we can be sustainable and not go broke. Right? So let me just back up a little bit. First thing is we are in an absolute when I first started, there was no internet. How crazy is that? There was no social media. We couldn’t target a demographic. We, I had to do an infomercial. There was no other way to get into people’s homes and see if they, they wanted what it was that I was delivering. But you have the opportunity with social media, where you can go to Facebook groups that are similar to your genre. You could start a Facebook group where you’re given all away, nothing but value.
DG (13:03):
You could post on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and LinkedIn, and you can test different topics. So let me give you a little example, getting ready. I’m gonna pull back the curtain. We’re going, we’re doing this challenge. It’s called the time to thrive challenge. Over five days, we’re gonna help people in this space, how to go faster, quicker, how to be bolder, how to have more capabilities, how to thrive. Day three is all about selling. Day four is all about building an audience. Day two is about identifying exactly what you be sh should be selling. It’s five days. It is unbelievable. It’s free, but we still gotta get people to come. And what we wanna deliver so much value that people continue to work with us. That’s in complete transparency, right? Sure. But I wanna tell you, you know what I did last month, I was filming different one minute videos that I was posting on social.
DG (13:48):
Whether you have five followers, 500, 5,005 million, I was posting different content. And I found a couple of things. I did a one minute video and I said, Hey, during a recession, during inflation Warren buffet said, there’s two things you should do. Number one, invest in yourself, get better at what you’re doing, become the person that people go to. So you’ll get a bigger piece of the pie. Number two, be a part of an industry that has higher margins. Don’t get caught with supply chain issues or your product costs going through the roof. And then your margins are gone. I shared that in a video. And I said, why not consider the self education industry where you’re teaching your life experience? The margins are huge. You don’t have to store it. You don’t have to warehouse it. You don’t have to ship it. You could sell it over and over again.
DG (14:33):
And you really get to impact people’s lives while you make money. I did that all in one minute, that video skyrocketed people were sharing it all over the place. Roy. So then I had an unfair advantage when I was gonna run an ad. What do you think? One of my topics were when I ran an ad, I was like, oh, that video, everybody loved and liked and commented on. Let me shoot an ad like that. And then let’s spend 500 bucks on it and see if 500 bucks if 200 come back or 600 come back. Right. So just know it’s, it’s the art of Kaizen. It’s one step at a time. Don’t, you know, where people get in trouble is like, I gotta, I gotta market. I gotta do some ads. And they put a whole bunch of money in ads without testing it without tweaking it, without understanding the fundamentals and they could lose money, then they get stung. And then like, I’m never doing that again. It’s only cuz you didn’t have the right guidance. You didn’t have somebody step you into this one piece at a time.
RV (15:21):
Yeah. Yeah. And I want, I wanna talk a little bit more about that in a, in a, in a second here. I know I don’t wanna get too much in the weeds on this, but just a straightforward question. Do you ex do you expect to break even on your ad spend like on the first sale or is it more, do you have a longer lifespan of going ah, some of it I might make back over the second, third, fourth sale.
DG (15:41):
Yeah. So some of it that’s when you first start. So, so write if you’re gonna write anything down today, when it comes to ads, write this down, you know, who wins it at ads? Do you know where
RV (15:53):
The, the, the, the, the person who has the best metrics
DG (15:56):
Or the person who could spend the most?
RV (15:58):
Oh yeah.
DG (16:00):
The person who could spend the most to an acquire a lead wins. Yeah. So if you’re brand new and you’re selling, you know, a weekend, you’re selling your course and your course sells for 500 bucks and it’s costing you $200 to acquire that client. Oh my God, when you do it all day, you spend two, you give somebody a $200 bill. They give you back a $500. Bill spend as much as you can and you’ll get some of those sales, but then you’ll get to where it’s costing you $400 for a $500 sale. And then you’re getting to a point where it’s $500 for a $500 sale. And then most people go, this does this ad game doesn’t work. But when you look at serving people where they need it, sometimes you sell a course. And of course is enough for I sell a book.
DG (16:41):
Sometimes my books are enough for somebody to, I, we have thousands of testimonials just from my book. Then some people go books, not enough. I need Tony and Dean’s course, man, that, that project next, which is, I believe the greatest personal, you know, self education course ever created like that course, oh my God is amazing. And some people say, got the book amazing, got the course, but I need someone to keep me accountable. I need a coach or a mentor. I need to be on a call once a week to get these answers. These questions answered. It’s like the professor at a college, some kids could do it with the books. Some people need the professor, right? And some kids need extra tutoring. So if you have the books and the, and the teacher and the extra tutoring, some people are gonna self-select and say, Hey, I bought your course for 500 bucks.
DG (17:26):
Amazing. But do you have a coach that can help me through it? We do. And it’s X amount. So it’s, I know you guys get this. It’s about lifetime value. It’s not about trying to sell somebody so much stuff. They don’t need. It’s about delivering what they need. Some people need a coach. Some people need their hands held. Some people need to be held accountable, right? So when you have additional products, some people, maybe 80% of the people just need your course, thumbs up 20% might want a weekly coaching call or a deep dive. One on one coaching call. That’s more money. So, which means is your average lifetime value of your client over six months over a year for that $500 buyer could actually be a thousand dollars. Now I’m not getting in the weeds, but really think about that over time. Oh yeah. I want that coaching. Oh yeah. I definitely need that too. And all of a sudden, now that $500 buyer is worth a thousand. So you can go in and spend $700 to acquire a $500 client and you’re still winning and you’ll win in the ad game. Cuz most people can’t afford it.
RV (18:27):
Yeah. I love that. Parallel of some people can do it with a book, a textbook. Some people can do it by going to class. Other people need the tutor. Like, yeah. It’s just, it’s just the same.
DG (18:39):
Would you say, would you say, oh my God, that too, like that is horrible that
RV (18:43):
You’re taking, you’re taking advantage of people because you sold them tutoring.
DG (18:47):
Yeah. Because they’re struggling. You know, I I’ll give you an example. I’ll share this. We call it a value ladder. Right? So I wanna give you this. My daughter was in ninth grade last year. She pitched for her softball team JV. She pitched 13 outta 15 games start to finish.
RV (19:01):
Wow.
DG (19:01):
So proud as a father, right. Won about 75% of her games. And I think she’s gonna be I think she’ll be, if she sticks with it, she’ll be a superstar by the time she’s in 12th grade. If she decides I’m not the forceful type, but I wanna share something with you when she was younger, she watched YouTube videos on how to be better at softball. Right. And then there was a time she bought a $97 course on how to be better. And then we found the guy and he was doing pitching camps where like these little treat they’d spend an hour and it was 40 bucks to pop. It was $40 a pop. And she could go with like six other girls, right? So one was free. One was like 97 bucks. And now it’s 40 bucks. She was going once a or once or twice a week.
DG (19:49):
So let’s just say 80 160 say it was 250 bucks a month. And she was going to this clinic and all of a sudden she’s like getting serious. And the coach said she probably needs one on one she’s excelling. Now that went to 200 bucks, times four, it went to a thousand bucks a month for one on one. And he’s been teaching her a thousand bucks a month, one on one now for two and a half years. Right. It’s the difference where she’s at. You think I’m gonna say, how dare that coach offer us one on one to help my daughter. I feel blessed that I can I’m. So I feel blessed that I could afford it. Whereas some people can’t and if we couldn’t, I’d say work your tail off with that free video, hun, I feel blessed that I could afford it, but there’s somebody else out there in your niche right now?
DG (20:37):
That’s saying, I don’t just want the course. I want, I don’t just want the free YouTube video. I don’t want the $97 course. I don’t wanna work with seven other people. I wanna work one on one or maybe I do wanna work with other people. So when you offer those varieties as a value ladder, each one of those is value to my daughter. Each thing that you share will be value to someone else. But when you get done that client could be worth, you know, $480 a month on average between all of them. And you could spend $300 to acquire that client,
RV (21:06):
If you do, and what, what, what athlete do we go? Oh, you know, they got taken advantage of because they had the private coach. It’s the opposite. We go, they had an advantage because they had the best coaching in the world.
DG (21:18):
Absolutely. So, so when you shift your mindset is that you can be that person for someone else that holds them accountable. So they don’t fail this time. I mean, the, the worst thing I think about is somebody who’s bought 10 courses in their life and they never got the results they want. They need someone to go, Hey, stop buying courses. You need a darn coach that keeps you accountable.
RV (21:37):
Right? Yeah. Get in, get in there. I mean, it’s like those are, those are such, such great parallels. So and I wanna go ahead and throw this out, right? So if, if you go to thrive three fifty.com, the we’ve got some partnerships, there’s some free training, depending on when you go, the sooner you go, the more free training that’s gonna be available to you. So when you, if you’re hearing this, if you go to thrive three fifty.com, Dean and Tony have put together these free trainings and the sooner you get there, the more likely you’re gonna catch the catch, the free training. But it’s also like, it’s interesting to hear like, oh, Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi have to advertise. They have to go on podcast. They have to get the word out there. Like, of course you do. So I wanna mention that URL it’s thrive. And then the number three 50 thrive, three fifty.com.
DG (22:27):
Yeah. Let me, let me tell you, let me tell you if, if you’re watching right now and if anything I shared today is intriguing to you, then you need to go register and go see what we’re doing. The, the live portion it’s five days, it starts August 2nd. It’s gonna be probably two hours a day. It’s Tony, myself. It’s Jenna Kucher. If you know who Jenna is and Russell Brunson. Oh,
RV (22:45):
We know we know who Jenna Kucher is. Yep. For sure.
DG (22:47):
And, and Russell Brunson and Brendan Burchard and Lisa Nichols. And we even got Matthew McConaughy coming, cuz I loved his book, green lights. And you know, he really went into the self education industry with that and he wants to do more. In fact, we might be doing something special with him, but what we’re gonna do over five days is really pull back the curtain on how to really narrow down what you should be teaching who you should be teaching it to. Right. And I mean, day one, just with Tony, Robbin’s gonna blow your mind. You it’ll get you in a space, especially during, you know, recession during all this craziness out there, you need to get laser focused in here. And I don’t believe there’s anybody better on the planet that can do that than Tony. But over those five days, we’ll, we’ll narrow in that niche show you how to ethically market through service, how to build the following.
DG (23:26):
Even if you’re following is small or next to nothing and then how to tie it all together and how to launch your next sale. It’s either your first or your next sale, right? The whole goal of the five days is get your first sale, your next sale, inconsistent sales. That’s what makes this a real business where we impact others and and create success for ourselves. But it’s gonna be something really special. And it’s only happening once and it’s live. The two things I would share with you Zig Ziegler said if, if you don’t pay, you don’t pay attention. Really? Remember that in your business, think about the things you got for free and think about the things you worked hard for. If you worked hard for your first car, you cleaned it, you polished it. And we also know that we’ve bought children or friends that bought children in their first car.
DG (24:07):
They didn’t pay for it. And they wrecked it in a weekend. It was, it was so nasty on the inside, right? Cause they didn’t earn it. They didn’t have to pay for it. Right. I wanna tell you just because this is free, you need to value it as if it was 5,000 bucks. It’s Tony Robbins. I mean, he’s got a waiting list of people wanna give him a million dollars a year to be his coach, right? It I’ve been blessed. I get paid 250 grand a day for consulting just had one a month ago. I’m not saying that to brag. I’m saying, convince yourself, you paid five grand or a thousand bucks show up and play full out. And what I’d also do is take that 5, 3, 5, zero.com and send it to someone right now who needs it and have, ’em be your accountability partner, go through it with them, have them show up with you, go send ’em to strive three fifty.com. And yeah, it’s gonna be a fun. It’s gonna be a fun five days. It’s a lot of work and it’s worth it.
RV (24:54):
So before I let you go and, and, and check this out and like I said, I, you know, getting to meet Dean face to face in person was a, was a whole different experience and like, see, seeing your heart here. And, and this is, is really encouraging. So, so go there. One other thing that I wanna just like get into your mind a little bit before we let you run off, is your mindset about money, right? So this is another thing, sales, advertising, also money. You know, there’s big talks of recessions coming, obviously, you know, inflation, like there’s a what are you, what are some of the, or like, what’s one thing related to the mindset about money that a a mission driven messenger. I mean, that’s what our audience just, they all have that in common, which is also another thing where it’s like, ah, like making money sometimes feel like evil or like, you know, I, I have to take advantage of somebody
DG (25:47):
Money. Say, I’ll say, I’ll jump in here. Cause I’ve asked, I’ve had that question asked a lot and I love answering it. When people say money, doesn’t buy happiness. I say you haven’t given enough away yet. Mm, simple as that. Yeah. I haven’t given enough away yet. And, and I don’t say that to be disrespectful, but you know Richard Branson, I was blessed enough cuz I raised money for his foundation. It wasn’t, we were best friends and not wasn’t cuz I was super cool. But the billionaire of Richard Branson, I got the chance to spend a week with him on his private island in in the Caribbean Neer island. And I didn’t even know if I was gonna see him. I just knew I was going the same time he was there and him and I both got up at 5:00 AM one morning.
DG (26:25):
He said, Hey, you’re up early. You wanna sail? I’m like thumbs up. Right? And I got in a boat with him and I, and I had some of those thoughts, not a lot, but he said, Hey, I believe God gave us all unique abilities. And I believe some people, God bless their souls. They go to the soup kitchen or they go and they volunteer their time. And what would we do without those amazing humans? He said, but I believe all of us have different capabilities. I found it later on in my life that I had the ability to make money. And that was my purpose because I could cut checks to solve problems. He said, some people need to go work. There he goes, I might be able to do a campaign and walk in and hand that soup kitchen, a hundred thousand dollars gift.
DG (27:03):
And when I realized that I just wanna get better at me. And if I do the right things with the money, then I get to utilize my gift. He goes, favor, started coming my way in the biggest way possible. And that shifted for me too. You know, listen, when I was a kid, I would’ve, I dreamed, I used to dream that someday I could make a thousand bucks a week, 50 grand a year. Oh my God, that would’ve been that would’ve been like when I was in high school, I didn’t come for money. I literally lived in a trailer park with my dad. My mom worked three jobs to make nothing. And I remember, man, if I can make a thousand bucks a week, life will be good, 50 grand a year just because it was in my heart. When I was on ed stage, you know what it felt like that I said, Hey, you know, today, while I’m here last minute, I’m gonna donate $50,000 to the family.
DG (27:46):
Nothing lights me up more than that. And last year we passed eight mil, I think 8 million meals, seven and a half million meals through feeding America. We built two churches in Africa. I donated $600,000 to operation underground railroad to help children in slavery, man, what could be better than that? While simultaneously my business actually helps empower people to go faster, quicker, better to their own dreams. And we get to employ people and I get to make sure my family’s okay. So just like selling, I think you gotta find a way to shift what money means to you, make it and give it all away, make it and help change the world, make it and help your church. Do what serves you. But I just don’t think we’re put on this earth. I don’t think any creator would put us on this earth to play small. That’s just my belief.
RV (28:30):
Hmm. Yeah. What well in just fascinating to just get those perspectives and to see you know, that you’re, if you don’t have that belief, then the conviction to, to tell people about what you’re doing is gonna not, is not gonna be there. And, and, and, and people aren’t gonna feel the energy and they’re not gonna buy. And so getting, getting these mindsets right is so huge. And so that’s why I go to thrive three 50, you thrive three fifty.com. You can check this out. I mean, look, Tony and Dean are reaching millions and millions of people, like regardless of what you might know or not know, you go, you guys are reaching millions of people and you’re showing people how to do that. So like that is just really cool. And you’ve been so generous Dean with your time here, like so many great, great parallels. And just thank you for that conviction Dean. And, and, and thank you for this. I think this is, this is a leveling up my thinking and you know, to, to go, man, I wanna stand on stage and just go here’s $50,000 or a hundred thousand dollars, what an amazing way to to, to, to, to provide blessing the world. So thanks for being here, brother. And we just, we wish you the best.
DG (29:47):
Well, thanks man. Appreciate everybody spending time with us and we’ll see you on August 2nd.