Ep 516: Why Everyone Is In Sales with Dr. Cindy

AJV (00:01):
Hey everybody, and welcome to the Influential Personal Brand podcast, AJ Vaden here. And I’m so excited to introduce you guys to a, a newer friend of mine. We got connected through a mutual friend of ours, but I’m most excited to introduce you to our guest today because we share a similar passion of sales. And what we’re gonna talk about today and why you need to stick around is why you are in sales, even if you don’t know it, and why you need to also become passionate about sales. No matter what your role is, no matter what your job is, no matter if your customer facing or internal facing, you’re a solopreneur, entrepreneur, small business owner, executive, or anything in between that I didn’t mention, having sales skills is one of the most important skill that you can have in life. And so we’re gonna talk about why that is.
AJV (00:54):
How do you develop ’em? How do you use ’em, and why these are important to you. And if none of that sounded appealing enough for you to stick around to the very end, then how about this? Knowing how to be great at sales is what makes you a great entrepreneur. It’s also what makes you a great parent. It’s what makes you a great negotiator, which if you are a parent, you know, is a very important skill set to have. So, like I said, these are life skills. And so we’re gonna jump right in. I’m gonna formally introduce you to Dr. Cindy, who is a two times bestselling author. She’s got two books on sales and we’re gonna put all of these in the show notes for you. But her first book is, every Job is a Sales Job, how To Use The Art of Selling to Win At Work.
AJV (01:38):
Her second and most recent is Sell Yourself How to Create, live and Sell a powerful personal Brand, which is part of why I wanted to have her on the show here today. She is also the CEO of Orange Leaf Consulting. She also has her doctorate in organizational communication. So this, these are, these aren’t just thoughts and ideas, like this is backed by tons of research and time and experience and expertise. And I could probably go on and on but I wanna jump in and actually do this interview. So before I get carried away with talking about you, let’s talk to you. So, Dr. Cindy, welcome to the show.
Dr. C (02:17):
Thank you so much for having me, aj. It is a pleasure to be here.
AJV (02:21):
Yes. And one of the things that I wanna do that I think is just really helpful is to help our idio, our idiots, our audience, get to know you a little bit and why sales has become such a part of your life. So like, where did that come from? How did you get into this and how did, how did you get to where you are today?
Dr. C (02:42):
kicking and screaming, if I’m being completely honest. So I never wanted to be in sales, believe it or not. And I was a college professor and then started consulting in the summer as many do. Fast forward, went to work at a consulting firm, and about six months into that role, I got put into a sales role. And honestly, aj, I thought I was gonna get fired. I’m like, I can’t do this and I don’t want to do this. I had this idea of sales was this icky thing. It was pushy, it was manipulative. It was like, I, I have this avatar in my head and I call him Tommy two thumbs. It’s like the, Hey, what’s it gonna take kind of guy. And I’m thinking, I cannot sell. Like, I do not wanna sell. I never want to be that. In that role. I realized I was selling my entire life.
Dr. C (03:30):
I just didn’t call it sales. Hmm. And I literally struck me and I went, wait a second. I have a PhD in communication, and I was never taught this, and I went to good schools. And it was like, why wasn’t this part of the curricula? And so that took me on a totally different journey. Started my company, my first company, orange Leaf Consulting, started writing books. And so, I know you guys believe in this too, is like you deliver to the person that you were like, you’re literally solving the problem that you had. So now I write books for my 20-year-old self .
AJV (04:05):
Love that. So tell me what, what happened? Like, what was that kind of like revelation moment when you realized, wait, I’ve been doing this my whole life, I just never knew it was sales. Like, what was that?
Dr. C (04:19):
So I remember I was actually having to go and do what they called the pitch right at the, at the day and time. And I’m like, Ooh, pitch. It just sounds awful. Like the word sounds bad. And what I was preparing, what I was realizing is all I was doing was listing all the problems that I had come up with in the conversations with a prospective client and how I could solve them. And I went, wait a second. All I’m doing is helping them with a need that they have. Why are we even calling this a pitch? I’m not pitching them anything. I’m inviting them to this list of solutions that are literally gonna make their life and their company better. Hold on. Like, hold the phone, . And it was really in that moment where I was delivering that first one by myself that I said, I’ve been doing this for years.
Dr. C (05:10):
I was calling it negotiation. I was calling it persuasion. I was calling it convincing, I was calling it inviting. And I went, okay, I have to change the script on this. So I believe that sales is a life skill, not a business skill. And I am on a mission to help people to embrace their inner 5-year-old. As I say, you know, we’re all, we were all five. You have got littles, so you understand they’re the best salespeople on the planet. So it’s really just getting back to those innate sales skills that you already have, and then knowing how to use them to get more of what you want and help more people.
AJV (05:44):
Ugh, I love that. And you know, not to go too sidetracked for a second, but you know, I’ve been in sales my whole life. I consider myself the number one job I still have today, E even as like CEO is to sell, right? That recruiting, selling, interview, selling, retaining, selling client acquisition, selling vendor negotiations, selling contract, negotiate. Like the list goes on and on. It’s like even as a CEO, I feel like still, like the number one thing that I’m trying to hone on a constant basis is this concept of sales IE communication. But where I find it’s the most valuable at this current stage of my life is in my parenting. Like legitimately , I have these like two master negotiators and everything is a negotiation, and they’re relentless and persistent. And I die laughing because it’s like my husband and I who both come from a heavy, heavy, heavy sales background are like, those little suckers are gonna outlast us. ,
AJV (06:42):
Like, like their, their, their per, their persistence is, it’s impressive. It’s impressive. And I tease all the time, I’m like, how can I transfer this level of persistence to like our sales team, like to our, our business development team, this, this level of, there’s no shame in how many times you ask or how repeated the ask is. And I think I, I, I love what you said, it’s like, how do we get all back to that inner 5-year-old? And as I have a 5-year-old, it’s like he knows what he wants and he knows how long it’s gonna take before I crumble, right? And it’s about 45 minutes, and I’m like, fine, you can have it, whatever’s, whatever. But it’s like there something hap along happens along the way, clearly, where we don’t do that anymore. And probably for most of us, just like you had, and I’ve even had these feelings before of like, I don’t wanna be seen as a salesperson.
AJV (07:34):
There’s this negative connotation with the word sales, with the concept of selling. And I would love to just kind of unpack that for a second of where did that come from? Where does that happen? Because I feel like most people would all agree that you did not grow up saying one day I wanna be a salesperson , even though, even though the majority of co even college graduates will end up in sales. Yeah. Right. So what is it about that thing where it’s not something that we’re pursuing when inevitably no matter what you’re doing, you’re going to be doing something related to sales. So I’d love to hear your thoughts on that.
Dr. C (08:15):
So I always joke with people and I say, you know, nobody dresses like a salesperson for Halloween, right? . So it’s not, it’s not a, an a job that we aspire to as children. You wanna be a firefighter, you wanna be this, you wanna be that, don’t wanna be a salesperson. But I think part of the reason is because it does have this negative con negative connotation because we have all been sold at some point. We have all gone through that being the person that was sold to where you didn’t really wanna say yes, you kind of felt pressured into it. You feel like your choice was taken away from you. And when that happens, you’ve lost your power and you’ve lost your autonomy. And so I think that’s where people start to get that negative feeling of sales is when we’ve experienced that. But you know this as a sales professional, and so do I, having worked with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of companies, that is such a minute segment of the sales world.
Dr. C (09:13):
And I would argue even those people don’t wanna be those people, right? . So they just weren’t trained properly. Mm-Hmm. . So when you look at it, it kind of goes to the lowest common denominator. And I think media and, you know, movies and TV portrays that guy versus really that master negotiator, that person that’s really centered around building trust, helping the other person to get what they need and finding a common solution for both. And I agree with you. I used to be a college professor and I used to tell the students, I’m like, you’re gonna go on a job interview. You have to sell yourself. But it’s funny because that’s such a catchphrase, even before I was in sales and I was sitting here thinking, I hate sales and I’m telling these kids this, but it was selling you. And that’s the first thing. Any job interview you’re selling. And if you’re not thinking about that as an entrepreneur, that pitch, that’s you selling you before you’re selling anything else that you’re offering, they’ve gotta trust you to be able to trust your product or your service, whatever they’re gonna invest in. And I know you believe in that. I know I’m preaching the choir here, but , but it’s so important for people to recognize sales is throughout your entire life and your entire day. And I guarantee you, every listener on today’s podcast has already made successful sales this morning. You just didn’t call ’em sales .
AJV (10:40):
Yeah. So let’s talk about that for a second. What are the sales that we’re all making every day that we don’t realize are sales?
Dr. C (10:48):
So first one is, if you’ve got kids , somehow you get them out of bed teeth brushed, and to school with two shoes that match master salesperson right there. miracle sales, if you have Right. Miracle sales. Exactly. If you are negotiating with your spouse or your roommate or who you know your business partner about, who’s gonna cover this and who’s gonna cover that? A colleague, that is a negotiation. That is a sale. Because even if you’re negotiating, like I’m gonna take this project, you take that project, you’re trusting that the other person’s got it, that they’re gonna take that ball and run with it. That’s a sales conversation. Whenever there is an exchange of trust that is sales. And so I think those are things you do all day every day. Even nonverbal sales occur. And I guarantee your listeners have done this today. You’re running to the door, you got your arms full, you make eye contact with that person to hold the door for you, and then y’all smile at each other. That’s a sales exchange. We just don’t call it sales.
AJV (11:55):
Oh, I love, like, even even the non-verbal exchanges. And I love that concept too, is that sales is just an exchange of trust. Right? And I, I love that concept because it really does take away some of the ickiness that we feel. And, and I know, I bet most of you listening would agree with this. It’s like when you’ve had a great sales interchange, it’s like, I love it. I love when I’m like, man, that was a great sales presentation. ’cause I feel good about it, right? I feel good about the person. I’m entrusting. I feel good about the person I’m paying. I feel good about the product or service I’m receiving. The, the entire experience was positive. And part of it is like, when it’s really good, it’s like, yeah, I want my money to go to you. That was great. And I think sometimes when I’m annoyed, it’s like I’m almost more mad that I have to give the bad sales experience.
AJV (12:49):
I have to give that person my money, even though I need the thing. I’m like, I do not want you to get paid for this. ’cause That was so bad. Like, and regardless if that’s good or bad, like a lot of my mentality is around like, I do not want to pay you it, it’s a, it’s a you thing even when I need it. Because I’m like, that was so, so bad, so bad. Yeah. And the opposite happens too, where it’s like, man, that was amazing. ’cause You know what? It just felt, it felt natural. And that’s how it, it should, right? And we have those daily exchanges every day. It’s like you know, it doesn’t matter if you’re carrying boxes or a stroller or whatever, it’s, yeah. It’s like those nonverbal exchanges happen. Those are like micro sales throughout your day. And so this whole concept of, you know, we’re selling all day long without even knowing it. How do we come more aware of these things? ’cause I know like one of the things you talk about how like sales skills are life skills, right? So it’s like, I think a part of that is the awareness that, okay, guys, we’re already in sales and our marriages and our friendships and our parenting and our jobs and our, our social interactions, like there, there’s a sale always happening. So how do we kind of reframe how we see that, become aware of it and then ultimately embrace it?
Dr. C (14:13):
So I think it’s kind of like the blue car syndrome where, you know, once you buy a blue car, you start noticing blue cars everywhere, . So it’s the same kind of thing. Once you recognize a good sale, you start seeing that. And not only do you start seeing it, you almost start seeking it. And so back to your comment about like, you, you don’t want to give that salesperson your money because it feels awful and you don’t wanna reward bad behavior . But the flip side of that is absolutely true too. And I know everybody listening has gone to a store or a restaurant and you, you choose that just because of the experience you had. You want to reward the good sales experience, but you didn’t think about it like that. You probably thought about it as service. You probably thought about it as, oh, it was a good experience.
Dr. C (15:00):
That was a sale. They sold you on coming back and they sold you on being an advocate for them because you left feeling so good. You wanna go tell other people. So when you start to think of sales as that, you start recognizing it differently. But I do believe that it’s good to have a plan. I’m a planner, I’m a hyper planner, I’m a to-do list gal. It’s just my jam. But I think when you have a plan for the things that you want to occur, you’re gonna seek the opportunity to sell, to get closer to it. Mm-Hmm. So for example, take a personal one. You’re looking for a new sitter, okay? You’re gonna be hyper aware when you hear other parents talking about their sitters and you’re gonna jump in and have a conversation. It’s just because you had that plan in place. If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re looking for a website designer, you’re still seeking that. And then you’re gonna find an opportunity to have a sales exchange to somebody either send you a referral or you’re able to sell your way into getting that person to work with you. And by the way, even when you’re hiring a vendor, you’re selling them just as much as they’re selling you. And I think we forget that as well. So I think that once you know what you’re looking for and you have a goal and a plan in place, those sales moments start revealing themselves differently.
AJV (16:22):
So, and, and I love that. And it’s like, what would you say? Like, as I’m thinking of, you know, I’m just thinking of like the, the micro example of just the team that we have here at Brand Builders Group. We have client facing team members, we have non-client facing team members, we have a leadership team. We, we got all types, we got vendors, contractors, all the things, right? And so if I were to kind of pinpoint what are some of like the universal sales skills that every person, no matter what your role is, no matter what your job is, whatever your daily things are, like, what would you say that you’ve identified as some of like the universal sales skills that we as just humans need to develop to be better communicators?
Dr. C (17:04):
So the first one is, is your authenticity of who you are, your own personal brand, and who you are bringing yourself to the, to the world and what your superpowers are In that as well, you get to know people based on their own superpowers. You’re the person I’m gonna go to because I know you’re gonna get the job done fast. You’re the one I’m gonna go to because I know that you can take it and run with it and make it happen. You start to sell into that, right? So that’s the first one is knowing your own personal brand and being really authentic because that’s how you build trust with those around you. I, I say this all the time. Nobody does this life alone. Show me a person that did it by themselves. And I’m gonna show you 14 people that helped ’em along the way, .
Dr. C (17:44):
And so it’s recognizing how you’re creating those exchanges of trust so that you can get closer to what you need in your role, whether it’s client facing or behind the scenes, whether you’re in a support position or you’re an independent contractor, it doesn’t matter. You’re selling those exchanges of trust so that you can get your project, your job done, get closer to your goals. That’s the first one. Second universal one is you have to ask . And you know this in your sales training background, even seasoned sales froze where it says it on their business card and on their signature line, they don’t ask. So,
AJV (18:23):
So true.
Dr. C (18:24):
You have to know what you’re asking for and you have to be clear because if you’ve built that trust, people wanna help you. You wanna go back and reward that behavior. You want to support people, but they don’t know how to support you. So you have to invite them in .
AJV (18:41):
I mean, just, I don’t wanna like derail your thought train here ’cause I wanna hear the rest, but it’s so interesting because we are in the process right now of, of building a new home and I’ve been interviewing lots of different things. And anyhow, I’ve been having this interchange back and forth via email, and I’m not exaggerating. Literally this morning I had to send an email. So like what’s the next step? Like how do , I mean, it’s like, there’s been so much communication. I’m literally like, so like, how do I buy here? Like what, what, what do I need to do here? And I literally was like, what do I need to do to get this moving? And it’s amazing how often, and it’s been going on for like, what, a week and a half. And I’m just like, listen, at some point I’m just so frustrated that we’re still in this same kind of like hamster wheel of talking about it. Like I just, I’m ready to go on to the next step here. Like, are we, what are we doing here? And I’m the one who had to engage that as the potential customer.
Dr. C (19:41):
Awful. And so, and so, actually, funny enough, that’s the third piece is you have to follow up. It’s on you to be the one to f So the fact that you had to follow up like that makes me so upset because it’s like you had that person right there ready and you didn’t ask and you didn’t follow up. And so the key to think about it is you as the person selling, are doing 90% of the lift. Mm-Hmm. , that’s the way to look at it, is you’re doing 90% of the lift. Make it easy for them to know exactly what it is that needs to happen, exactly how they can help you exactly what you want them to do, and literally show them the path. It’s like when people ask for reviews and they’re like, oh, please review us on our website, Uhuh, here’s the link. Please say words like this. We would love to hear it . And please be honest. Like, you make it so simple so that they’re not having to chase you. And so that’s, that’s the other thing is you have to follow up. And that’s actually step five of the sales process I teach is follow up and be grateful. Be grateful for that opportunity.
AJV (20:43):
Yeah. And I think that’s a, I mean, just telling people, right? It’s like asking and then telling people what to do. And that’s one of the things that I’ve always said, it’s like for most people, they just need to be told what to do, right? Click here, write this, say this. Right? It’s like, like even me sometimes I’m like, I don’t want to have to think in this process that that’s why you’re here. Right? Yeah. I don’t wanna have to go through all of that. I just want you to do it, which is why I’m gonna give you my money, right? And so if I’m often left to my own vices, I just, I I I’m gonna, I’m gonna forget, right? It’s not anything other than as soon as this interaction, this exchange is over, I’m off to my other set of 99 things that I’ve gotta do. And if I didn’t have clear instructions from you on what is the next step and when is the deadline and when I’m, you know, like all the things Mm-Hmm. . It’s not that I wasn’t interested, so I forgot.
Dr. C (21:40):
Yeah.
AJV (21:41):
And so
Dr. C (21:41):
I think entrepreneurs, yeah. Oh, I’m sorry, say that again.
AJV (21:44):
I was like, just, just the whole idea of like, don’t forget to ask and then don’t forget to tell ’em what to do and then follow up. Yeah. I think that that’s,
Dr. C (21:53):
It’s so hard for entrepreneurs too, I think when they’re building their brand and when they’re getting themselves out there because they have this feeling that, but everybody knows what I do. Everybody knows that I wrote a book, everybody knows I wanna be a keynote speaker. Everybody knows these things. But did you make it easy for them to help, you know, if you’ve got a friend that’s, you know, part of an association and when you wanna go speak there, do they have your speaker bio? Do they know the topics? Can they literally deliver it to the education committee with an open line email that says, Hey, I’m so and so and I speak on engineering and here’s what it is. You know, make it super easy for those people around you to be able to sell for you as well. And that, that’s another piece too, where I think we have to recognize we’re not just selling ourselves, but others are selling for us and with us.
Dr. C (22:44):
And so they need to know your network needs to know what they’re supposed to be doing as well. And advocating and saying, you do a great job, or you give good service, is sort of like, yeah, you, you made it into the game, , it’s not, it’s not enough. They need to have a story to tell everybody that comes in contact with you is a walking, talking commercial for you. What story are they saying? Let’s invite them to tell the story you want them to be telling. And that’s also a sales exchange. When they are storytelling about you, they’re selling you. So making sure they’ve got good stories.
AJV (23:20):
Yeah. And it’s, again, back to left to their own devices. It’s like, who knows what people say, right? Yeah. And it’s like, we’ve got to go, this is how you introduce me. This is, this is the story I want you to tell. And as you were talking, you got me thinking about this, this asking thing because I think as you were talking about, I had like said to you gotta ask like, you, you gotta do it. Why don’t people do that? Like what, what what have you found is the hesitation, the lack of awareness whether it be fear or just sometimes complete unawareness or lack of training. But there, there’s a huge amount of people who even self-identify a salespeople that their hardest thing is the ask.
Dr. C (24:07):
It’s so true. And I think it’s a couple of things. I think you mentioned a few of them, which is they don’t know that, you know, there’s this assumption that, but you know what I do? Of course, you know what I do. Like why wouldn’t you, you know, use my services or come to my restaurant? So that’s one. Second one is they don’t know how to ask. So that’s a lack of training. And the third one is, and we all know it, it’s the fear of no. And it’s that fear of, if you tell me no, my entire world is going to crumble aj, it’s gonna be awful and nothing’s ever gonna happen, . It’s like, no, no is a perfectly acceptable response. And I, you know, this in your sales training background and, and what we teach our clients too is that’s a gift. Because if it’s a no, that’s an exploration.
Dr. C (24:49):
You get to understand why it’s no. Was your pitch bad? Did you not do a good job of understanding their needs? Did you not do a good job of differentiating yourself? Were you unclear on what the path was going to be that was gonna make their life better after the sale? Were you unclear in your ask? You know, there’s a lot of things that go into that. But the key is, if you’re not focused as the salesperson on what’s on the other side of the sale, then the no feels like, oh, I’m gonna crumble. Hmm. You gotta be focused on what happens past that for them and for you. And if it’s a no, it’s a gift because you also get to decide whether you’re gonna keep chasing them or not. And I have this conversation literally at least once a week with anybody we’re coaching about stop falling in love with people’s potential , you know? And you do that. It’s like, oh, but if, if, if no, believe them. If they are not taking action, there’s a reason for that. So explore it. Get ’em to tell you yes or no, and move on with your life. You are not gonna run out of prospects. There’s 7 billion people on this planet. You got plenty . Amen.
AJV (26:03):
Yeah. And so, yeah, so I wanna dive into that deeper too, because I totally agree with you. And, and as someone who has spent the last 20 years in sales in some capacity, like, one of the things that I definitely in the early days I, I loved hearing, let me think about it. Or maybe because I was like, there’s hope, there’s hope, , you know, and it, it felt, it felt good to not be rejected. Yeah. But as the months and years went on, I became to go, this is nonsense. I mean, I’ve been following up with you for months and it’s like, I remember like in the early years of my sales career who I would just be like, yes. They said maybe . Right? I was so happy just to not get a hardcore no. I would be like, but I remember months into my very first, you know, kind of like, you know, venture into entrepreneurship and my, my job all day every day was cold calling, literally out of the yellow pages.
AJV (26:58):
I’m not exaggerating. And me and my three business partners, we divided ’em up and they gave me WX, y, and Z of the alphabet. I didn’t know any better. So we’ll just say that was a gift. The naivete was a gift of this horrible set of letters. And one of the things I just remember, it’s like about eight or nine months in, it was like, I, I’m an obsessive OCD user of color coding and outlook and purple meant follow up. And I would have all these like micro 15 minute segments of like, and I, and here’s what I started to realize. I was like, I have no time to do anything else. All I’m doing is following up. And then I would just move it three months ahead, move it three months ahead. And so finally I started realizing these maybes aren’t aren’t so good after all.
AJV (27:43):
And it was like probably like a year, year and a half into my sales career. And I was like, no, actually no really is a gift. No is a gift that allows me the permission to move on and not get caught up in this emotional thing of, man, I have been following up with you with dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And it’s like, no, I don’t have to do that anymore. I just need to go find someone who would say yes. But I was so consumed with following up with the maybes that I was never actually doing a great job at finding the people who were a great fit. And when you realize that nos are not rejection their protection, and it’s like, hey, it’s like if you’re gonna spend all your time with people who are actually never even gonna get back to you you’re never able to actually serve the people who need what you have, who want what you have that you can build relationships with, friendships with, because you’re just stuck in this email cycle that actually is going nowhere.
AJV (28:39):
And so there is a lot of power in what you said of no being a gift, so that you can move on. And what I’d love to hear from you, and I, and I bet what a lot of people struggle with is what needs to happen in our brains for no to become a gift? ’cause There is this fear of rejection, there is this fear of no, and, and honestly for most of us, it, it’s what stops us from ever starting. And so I would love to just kind of hear your thoughts as we’re kind of like, you know, approaching almost the end of our conversation. I think this is one of the most powerful things that can really help people embrace this concept of, well, how do we overcome this fear of no.
Dr. C (29:22):
So the first thing is I really believe that a full pipeline will set you free. Hmm. So it’s about not falling in love with the 10 prospects, but falling in love with the entire yellow pages of X, Y, Z, not page 72 . So love that. So that’s the first one is you have to cast a wide enough net. And also it’s not taking it personal because you have to think about all of the magical stars that have to align for any sale to occur. Even that nonverbal sale of that person holding the door while you’re carrying boxes. Y’all had to arrive in your cars at the same time in the parking lot. You picked up the boxes, your pace of walking was exactly the same, to the point where they were three steps ahead of you and they turned their head and you locked eyes and they held the door.
Dr. C (30:12):
Mm-Hmm, . Okay. Cosmic connection right there. So even when there is not money exchanged, there is trust. And it is the things that go into making that sale occur. So when you think about all the stuff that has to happen for an actual business sale to occur, maybe those stars just didn’t align today. Let’s understand which one was out of alignment, and do you have any control over it? Could you have done something different? Could you have put that star into alignment so the next time it does work? So I think that’s the, the first part about it. And it is not personal. We have to remember that, that no is not about you. It is about the offering of the day. And we never know what’s happening in their world. And even if you, you know, ask somebody to pick up your kids or Hey, can you water my plants when I’m out of town?
Dr. C (31:07):
We don’t know what’s happening in their world. We don’t know why. The answer’s no unless we find out. But it’s not about you. It’s actually about them and about what’s going on with them. And so when you let that go, then it actually frees you up to go and seek the people. You can help more impactfully. Because remember, if you stay in that moment of no and push them, that becomes the icky sale. We don’t wanna be them. So that’s kind of freeing in that regard where it’s like, okay, that’s a no. Let me understand. Thank you so much for your time. Appreciate you, and you move on to somebody that you really want to help and wants your help. And I think if you reframe it that way, it’s great. And then this is something I do at my workshops where I always ask the group, I’m like, okay, who’s ever been told no in your life?
Dr. C (31:55):
And, you know, every hand goes up and I think y’all survived. Yay. You didn’t melt still here, like . And so we have to remember that we have literally been told no all our lives and we didn’t die. Nothing happened. And so one thing that I do with newer salespeople, especially if they’re cold calling, is I tell ’em to gamify it. Yeah. Get as many nos as you can today and keep going because you’re gonna recognize it’s not about you. And you’ll start to see those patterns and then you can sort of change your strategy if need be. But the biggest thing is it’s not about you. It’s about the fact that the universe did not align in that moment, in that day for that sale to occur. Doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen down the road.
AJV (32:41):
No, I love that. And I, I love what you said too, is that a full pipeline will set you free. It’s like when you have so many people to get to next, this one is not as, you know, life consuming. Right? And I think that’s a huge, and I think that’s a really important element. Like we brought earlier there’s 7 billion people on planet Earth, roughly 365 ish million people in the United States. There’s lots of people to call . There’s lots of people to prospect. There’s lots of people out there. And Mo for most of us, it’s like we couldn’t even handle hundreds of clients. Most of us are looking for dozens. And if you really put it in that context, it’s like, I, I think we gotta like reshape and reform our perception on the attitude of abundance, right? And I think when you do that and it’s like, and here’s the next 20 people and here’s the next 20 people, it becomes a lot less you know, consuming when you’ve got a full pipeline.
AJV (33:45):
And I love what you said too about this whole idea of like, no is research. And it’s like the more nos you get, the more research you have, the more answers you have, the better you can equip yourself to cover it next time. And those are just like mindset shifts that are so powerful, no matter again, what your role is, customer service, sales, leadership, executive team, parent, whatever. Of like, yeah, like every one of those is research. So I love that. This has been so helpful. And I’ve got one last question that I wanna dive into and then I’ll let you go before we run out of time completely. You talk about this whole thing of the like unofficial sale. And I’d love for you just to kinda like, share with everyone, like, what is the unofficial sale?
Dr. C (34:31):
So the unofficial sale is the one that you’re making every single day, but you’re not even realizing you’re doing it. I call it kind of the, hey, by the way, sale. And it is that nonverbal exchange a lot of times, but it’s also the one where it’s so natural for you and it’s such an opportunity for both people to get something out of it that it just feels right. You have these all day every day where it’s, you know, you’re negotiating who’s gonna pick up the littles or who’s gonna feed the dog? Who’s gonna take the dog out? Who’s gonna do the laundry? That’s the home piece. At work. It’s the same thing. It’s the, you’re gonna make the copies and you’re actually gonna go ahead and send that email and you’re gonna do this. It’s that quick exchange where it’s just so casual. But look at it as a sales win.
Dr. C (35:17):
Because the more you start identifying those as a sales win, it builds your confidence of a sales person. I believe every job is a sales job. I believe you have to sell yourself. They’re not just the names of books like I really do believe this, but embrace your inner five-year-old and recognize that these casual sales are also your opportunity to truly sell yourself. So for example, let’s say that you’re at a community barbecue block party and somebody is talking about needing your services. If you’re not ready to bring that up in that moment and you’re not ready with what you wanna say to differentiate yourself, they cannot become an advocate for you. Mm-Hmm. . So it goes back to you being ready to tell your story as well as building that trust and really getting those exchanges in order so that they become that walking, talking commercial.
AJV (36:10):
Oh, I love that. Be ready. Never know. Be ready.
Dr. C (36:14):
You,
AJV (36:14):
You’re gonna run into that next potential client. And I do, I believe that’s so true. It’s like inline at Starbucks grocery store, t-ball game. It’s like, be ready and be aware. And I want those kind of concepts of the unofficial sale. And this is one, I feel like this whole time I’ve been having flashbacks to like all my different sales experiences, and I love these conversations. ’cause I feel like most people who are listening would not consider themselves salespeople. And that is something that I hope as you’re listening today, you leave this going, no, I am a salesperson and I need to embrace that. I need to learn it. I need to, you know, educate myself and I need to become aware of all of these sales moments that are around me every single day. And so I thought this was an amazing conversation. I hope that people continue this conversation. So, Dr. Cindy, if people wanna connect with you, follow you buy your books, where should they go
Dr. C (37:12):
For cindy.com, D-R-C-I-N-D y.com or orange leaf consulting.com and I’m on all the social media platforms at one St. Lady of Sales, and I love to hear how people take this and do something with it. My favorite thing in the morning is when I get up and I see social media and somebody says, I heard you on this podcast, or I read this part of your book and I did this and it worked. And I love that. So I want to hear those success stories that just, it fuels the mission more of helping more and more people. And when you become a salesperson, guess what? You’re gonna help somebody else to become a salesperson too. And I think that’s the way we bring our amazing superpowers to the world, is we help elevate each other.
AJV (37:53):
Amen. I could not agree more. I’ll put all of those links in the show notes. Dr. Cindy, so amazing having you. So many golden nuggets, so thoroughly enjoyed this conversation and you guys heard it. Learn more, stay in touch with her. Go to dr cindy.com, follow her on socials, check out more and embrace that inner sales person that is already within you. We’ll see you next time on the Influential Personal Brand. Bye guys.

Ep 515: Turn Stage Fright Into Spotlight | Terri Sjodin Episode Recap

RV (00:06):
Welcome to the Influential Personal Brand podcast. This is the place where we help mission-driven messengers, just like you learn how to build and monetize your personal brand. My name is Rory Vaden and I’m the co-founder of Brand Builders Group, a hall of fame speaker, and New York Times bestselling author. And this show is to help experts learn how to become more wealthy and well known. I know you’re gonna love it. Thanks for being here. Let’s get started. One of the biggest fears that people have is speaking in public. One of the things that will reduce your fear is realizing that the more you prepare, the less fear you’re gonna experience. So I wanna share with you and just walk you through the six step process that I personally use to prepare to customize every single presentation. Okay. So step number one is my pre-program questionnaire. My pre-program questionnaire is a set of questions that I have developed over the last 20 years of speaking all around the world.
RV (01:06):
And it’s a set of questions that I ask. And I realize that if I get the information, if I get the answers to these questions before I go out on stage, I can use the answers that the client gives me to customize certain parts of my program and presentation that’s unique just to their audience using their lingo, their language, their, their nomenclature, right? That the connecting it with terms that they understand that’s unique to them, even though it’s based in the principles of my content. The second step is the pre-event call. This is something I think should be mandatory for all speakers if you’re not doing it already, that you must do a pre-event call to plan your content with your client before you actually go deliver the program. And the key to this call is that you should not be talking, you should be listening, you should be asking questions.
RV (02:00):
And specifically what I do is I think of my program and I take the outline of my speech. And then for every core idea that I teach, like every technique that I teach, every big moment where I go, here’s a big idea, I ask the client on my pre-event call, how does this big idea apply specifically to your company, to your team, to your organization in this exact moment? And then whatever they tell me there is like, they’re giving me the answers to the test, I can take their answers, and then I drop that in during my presentation shortly after I teach that part, I customize it using the context that they have given me. It’s so simple and it’s so easy, but it creates a magical experience for the people in the audience. And it makes the people who hired you look like champions because it, it makes it look like they hired a speaker who spent years and years learning all about their company.
RV (02:57):
Really, it just took a few minutes and a couple key questions on a pre-event call. Now the third one is obvious review their website, right? So just go to their website and actually read what’s on their website. Very few speakers do, this is the easiest thing just to go to their website and look, which ties into number four, which also you would think is obvious. But so many speakers don’t do this because they’re lazy and they don’t take the time to customize their presentation at all, which is social media. Go to their social media profiles. You will learn more about a company from their social media profiles, like their cultures, their values, and what’s happening internally. You’ll learn more about it from looking at their social media feeds than you will from reading their website, right? Like their website is basically a stagnant brochure with a bunch of a bunch of fancy marketing speak.
RV (03:51):
Their social media is like the insider secrets of like what’s going on every day and what’s important to them and what they’re promoting like right now in this moment. So I always try to go look and see if they have social media. Step number five, this is one of the secret secret steps is to use the Google news function. So a lot of people don’t know this, but in the Google search bar, you can, you know, type in anything obviously. But underneath the search bar, there’s a specific little button that says news. And what it will do is it will search for that term only as it appears in the news. And the news is really, really valuable to learn things that are going on about that company from other people’s perspective, what’s the coverage they’ve had? Did they just go through a merger and acquisition?
RV (04:41):
Do they have a new CEO? Are they rolling out a new product? Those things you find easiest in the Google news search function. So make sure that you’re using that. And then number six, which is probably the, the best and the easiest of all, and still something to this day, it blows my mind that speakers don’t do this, is get to the venue at least an hour early before your presentation. Ideally a few hours. And I don’t just mean like you’re staying in the hotel that the presentation is at. I mean, go downstairs and sit in the back of the room. Listen to what people are saying, listen to the speakers before you listen to what people are complaining about. Has it been too hot? Is it too cold in the room? What did, did some speakers say something, you know, very controversial? Did they roll out a, a, a new program or a new plan?
RV (05:34):
And then find one or two nuggets from what people are talking about that morning or that day and pull it into your presentation. It doesn’t have to be genius. It doesn’t have to be complicated. You just have to reference something that signals to the whole audience. You’ve been paying attention. And the only way you could know that little tidbit of information was from being at the conference in a moment where you were not on stage. It’s really, really important that you do that. And I’m gonna share with you my extra special insider secret on this. The, the real thing that you want to be listening for is what we teach in our humor training. It’s called callbacks. Callbacks. We, we talk about nine psychological triggers that cause laughter in our formal training. One of them here is callbacks, and here’s how a callback works. These are, these are the easiest ways to be hilarious in front of an audience.
RV (06:35):
All you have to do is sit in the back of the room, listen to the, the, the, the main speakers before you, and listen for the moment when the entire audience laughs and whatever it was that made them laugh. All you have to do is reference that when you are back on stage later that day, or you know, that afternoon or the next day or whenever that’s called a callback. You don’t even have to be funny. You just have to reference back to the thing that was funny. You will look like a hero. Everybody will laugh. It’ll increase your confidence, and it’s the magic of customization. If you do these simple things, you’ll be better prepared, which means you’re going to deliver, and then you’re gonna get invited back and you’re gonna get referred to other places. This is one of the simple secrets of the best presenters in the world.

Ep 514: The Science of Persuasive Presentations with Terri Sjodin

RV (00:02):
Well, it’s always an honor when I get to bring to you someone who is a friend, a longtime friend, and someone that I’m a fan of, someone who I would consider a mentor and a coach, somebody that I’ve learned from for years and years and years. And that’s what’s gonna happen today. We have TerriSjodin actually Terri and I both share a history with the National Speakers Association, and she also, like me, she was inducted into the CPAE, the Council Peers of Award award for Excellence, which is the National Speakers Association Professional Speaking Hall of Fame. For 25 years, she has worked as the founder of SHO Dean Communications. She specializes in public speaking sales training. It’s a consulting firm, and she’s a New York Times bestselling author. She’s been featured on the Today Show, Bloomberg, CNN, and just lots of other major, you know, talk shows, TV, radio also has become really popular as a LinkedIn learning instructor. And she has a new book out called Presentation Ready. Improve your Sales Presentation Outcomes and Avoid the 12 Most Common Mistakes. Terri, welcome to the show, friend. Thank you,
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Rory. I adore you. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity. It’s fun, .
RV (01:18):
So, one of the things that we were talking about is this book in a sense is a little bit more academic, I guess we’ll say, than some of your other books. So talk us through what, how the academics land, why the academics land, and exactly what was some of the research that went into putting this together?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Oh, I love it. Thank you for asking. So yes I’m going on almost 30 years now as a full-time professional speaker and trainer. Come on,
RV (01:49):
Come on. 30 years, full-time. We need to get you a watch or something, man. .
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I, I know. It’s crazy. And, you know, and I think as you and I talk about the evolution of a speaking career, you know, each piece builds on the next piece. And so you can grow and expand in a variety of different ways. My emphasis has always been in the area of public speaking and persuasive presentation skills. And the first book that kind of put me on the map, if you will, was called Sales Speak, which addressed the nine biggest sales presentation mistakes that professionals make. So fast forward, as we’re rolling into 2019, I’m like, wow, you know, we’re, we’re coming up on almost 20 year anniversary of that book. It would be wonderful to do a deep dive research study and do a formal study and ask, are these still the, the most common mistakes? And if so, why? And if not, why not?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
So I reached out to a colleague of mine who’s the head of the communications department at San Diego State University, full confession, my alma mater. And she said, yo, this would be really interesting to do a joint venture as an alumni pairing with faculty and students at the campus. So we ran the first phase of the study, and it was focused on a specific question. Does making a sales presentation mistake matter? Does it cost someone a win or a deal or an opportunity? And we did it using a formal Qualtrics platform. Again, almost 2,500 professionals participated in the study, and we garnered all of the content from people who only sold a product service or cause, meaning that their livelihood depended on their ability to build and deliver a persuasive presentation. And my promise was, if we were gonna do this kind of research, then there should be no research about us without us, all of it should come from salespeople. So that was really the underpinning of where the research came from. And then the findings of course, evolved over time.
RV (03:47):
Mm-Hmm, . So are the 12 the same? Are the nine are the nine that you originally wrote about a subset of the 12 and there’s three more, or have they adapted?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah, great question. So yes we found, we were able to verify that the nine mistakes were still playing out. There were three new additional mistakes that added to the list and what was really painful and, and shows, you know, it’s just about resilience. And you and I can talk about this, but, you know, so we were really excited. We launched the first phase of the results report on March 5th, 2020, and it was amazing for all of two weeks, , then the pandemic hit. Wow. So then we thought, all right, let’s just lean into this. And we ran a second phase of the study that was entirely based on virtual results for sales people who are presenting virtually. And then we did a third phase of the study, which covered in-person virtual and hybrid presentations. That study closed in September. And we launched the results then. And then God bless you know, LinkedIn. ’cause They jumped in and wanted to do a course on this material. And then we sold the program to McGraw Hill, or sold the manuscript to McGraw Hill, and they moved very quickly so that their content would be incredibly fresh. And that’s how, but, but all of these, to answer your question, this is a very long answer. All 12 mistakes were relevant whether people were in the first phase, second phase, or third phase of the research study, then. So I meaning
RV (05:18):
Hybrid or in person, doesn’t matter.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Did not matter. All the 12 mistakes still played out.
RV (05:25):
Fascinating. So which one, which one of the original nine do you think is most applicable to personal brands? Right. So, so, you know, anyone who’s speaker, author, coach, or a, a lot of professional service providers listen to this, right? Chiropractors, doctors, lawyers, anyone using their personal brand to like, grow their business, direct sales real estate, mortgage,
Speaker 2 (05:55):
All of
RV (05:55):
It. . If you think of those nine, like is there one, is there one that jumps out to you to go like, man, this is the one. Or, or talk us, talk us through some of the, some of the big ones.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
So so I believe, and very passionately in the power of the spoken word, no email, text message, or viral video will ever replace it. One, human being speaking to another in real time can shift everything. So to your point, whether somebody sells or promotes a product, a service, or a cause, wherever they are, they, they made up the body of these research participants. And there were actually three mistakes that rose to the top, regardless of gender, regardless of generation, regardless of how many people, how many years of experience people had. So the number three biggest mistake that most people self-confessed, which was also in phase one, was that most people had a tendency to conclude at the end of a presentation, but they did not close. They didn’t have an ask the number two biggest mistake that most people,
RV (06:56):
People, sec, hold on a second. Can I just wanna double tap on that and zoom in there on that one. So what’s the difference between concluding and closing?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I love that question. So a conclusion as a wrap up, right? A close is your specific call to action. What do you want people to do as a result of the message? So what you’ll notice is when somebody’s giving a presentation, they might say, okay, so do you have any questions? And the listener will say, Nope. And you’ll say, great. Okay, thank you so much. So if there’s anything we can do, like, don’t, you know, please let us know. Call us. Call us. Isn’t a close, A close is an action step. What do you want the people to do as a result of the message? So a simpler, easier line, and we can get into that in later terms. But after you make your proposal or your offering, you could say something simply like, would you like to move forward? You’re asking them to move forward. You’re asking them for, to take some sort of action step as a result of the message.
RV (07:58):
So you’re, and you’re for a dec you’re asking them to make a decision in some regard also. Yeah. Right.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Whether you’re asking them to set up the next appointment time, whether you’re asking them to make a commitment to give you a referral or asking them to make a decision right then and there to say yes and move forward. Cut a check, sign the contract. Mm-Hmm. , do the deal. . Mm-Hmm,
RV (08:20):
. That’s okay. I love it. I tons of people do that, right? I mean, it’s like every, every, whether it’s a blog post or a podcast or a presentation in front of a thousand people, it’s just like, eh, it’s so great to be here. And it’s like, you’re, you’re walking away. Like, you’re literally just like, literally leaving money, just going, okay, I worked hard for my money, and then I didn’t actually collect any of it. I just like left it there.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
It’s horrifying. And, and we, I mean, I work with some incredible people and they’ll say, oh my gosh, I’m alu, I’m not a closer. Oh, don’t,
RV (08:54):
Don’t concluder. Don’t be a concluder, don’t a con. Okay. All right. What was, what was the second most
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Number two biggest sales presentation mistake that people self confess? Remember, these are be based on self-identification. Okay. is that they are far too informative in nature rather than persuasive. They data dump. Mm. Overly informative versus persuasive.
RV (09:16):
So
Speaker 2 (09:17):
There’s a lot of reasons for that. Like, the biggest one is there’s no risk in being informative. We don’t hear, no, we don’t get pushback while we’re being informative. And it’s like, somewhere along the line, people started feeling like, I know maybe if I just give enough information to people, then they’ll just be able to sell themselves. And, and that’s lovely. But that’s, that’s not how adult decision making processing works. So
RV (09:39):
So how does it work then? Like what, so I think I know what informative looks like. I’m basically just spewing in information and facts and you know, ideas at you.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yes. Data dumping is part of that overly informative phase. But okay, so I’ll get really academic here. In communication, there are three types of presentations, informative, persuasive, and ceremonial. An informative presentation by design is supposed to be unbiased. It’s supposed to tell all sides of the story. It’s supposed to be cooperative versus competitive, and it’s sole purpose is to promote learning. That’s why you’re there. So unless you’re going out into the field and you’re like, hi, Brett, all the material of all my competitors, because I just wanted you to see everything that’s out there, and you can pick anyone you want to, because quite frankly I’m not attached to the outcome. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m not gonna profit. I’m not gonna do any, like, I’m just here to be a philanthropist of information. I mean, if you, that’s the only way that you’re really authentically informative.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
A persuasive presentation by design has intent. It means that you want somebody to do something as a result of the message. And if you are working on promoting your personal brand, if you are selling a product, a service, or a cause, you are very intentional. You want them to work with you, you want them to work with your company, you want them to do it now. So I, I’m trying to help people to just love that, like own it and love it and roll around in it. And sometimes people say, Terry, are, are you selling me? I’m like, yes. That’s what I do. Like no one’s shocked, right? , that’s what I do. And I think we oftentimes we get in our own way and we overcomplicate the clothes, we overcomplicate what our responsibility is as a presenter when we walk into that moment. And as you know,
RV (11:28):
How do you get past that fear part? Like, I, I think, like you said, you know, are you selling me? Yes. I think a lot of people would say, are you selling me? No, no. I don’t, don’t think of me as a salesperson. I’m not selling. I don’t wanna sell to you. Oh, no,
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I, I I own it. I love it. How do you, I
RV (11:42):
I know that you do. How do you coach? I I know that you do, how do you wrap your mind around that? Or how do you help other people wrap their mind around that? Like, I don’t wanna be thought of as a pushy salesperson,
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And, and I love the, that you put the emphasis on pushy Look I believe in the power of the sales professional. We move commerce. Nothing happens until somebody sells something, but we do, we shrink from it. And so I think what makes this book different and what makes this conversation different is, you know, my, my training is in academic focus. I was on the speech and debate teams in high school and in college, and I use debate strategy in a selling environment so that I can apply persuasive arguments to move a transaction forward. I don’t think it has to be hard sell. I don’t think you have to have a negative connotation of what a salesperson is. I think you can craft a beautiful, elegant, persuasive message and move people towards action without being hard sell. So to kind of circle back to your question, how do you get them to lean into owning being a sales professional?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
And I think if you, if you own it and you believe in it, then it’s a lot easier to have that conviction. Somebody asked me, okay, Terry, in all the research that you’ve been doing, what’s the hardest product to sell? And I’m like, the hardest product to sell is the one you don’t believe in. Mm. You know? So if you, if you believe in, in yourself and the services that you offer, then the bigger question that I’m trying to help people with is, you can’t just give people a laundry list of the things that you do. You have to construct a logical, persuasive case to move them towards action. And so there is a clean process. Again, I don’t use any weird, crazy manipulative closing tactics. I use strategies that are based on logic and evidence and social proof. And I think that when you give people those tools, they can feel better about being persuasive and being, and crafting a compelling message. They’re like, woo. Like I hear all the time people going, woo, I, oh, I wish I would’ve known this 20 years ago. Like, I, it freaks me out to think how much money I must have left on the table. But once you give them, then they’re liberated. And I just try to teach people to fish so that they can go and do it on their own.
RV (14:06):
How do you close, like how do you, we were talking about that just a moment ago too. Like, do you like, like if, if you had to give someone like, you know, a five minute crash course on closing you gave us that question earlier, which I think was, do you wanna move forward? Something like, something to that? Yeah. Would you
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Like to move forward?
RV (14:29):
Is that at the end of that? Is it as simple as that? It’s like one, here’s one, just one question. Boom, that’s a close.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Well, yes or no, but Okay. So it’s so there’s a, a segue here. So we talked about the number three biggest mistake out of the 12 that people self confess, which is that they clue, but they don’t close. The number two mistake that they self confess is that they’re overly informative versus persuasive. And the number one biggest mistake that most people self confess is that they wing it. They roll in hot, and they say things like, you know, I’ve been doing this for a really long time. I can do this in my sleep, but you can’t. So in order to structure, so you have to start initially with the structure. How did you lay out your talk? And there’s a process that we talk about in the book. There’s a five step process that leads a listener into logical thought processing.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
So when you, and, and it starts with, you know, did you create an awakening? What are the needs steps? How do you address satisfaction, visualization and change? It’s called Monroe’s motivated sequence. And it’s really based on a human being’s a authentic way to make a decision so that they feel good about it. And so it’s really kind of a very big topic to address right here, but it goes back to the number one mistake you have to prepare. You have to block it. Just like anything, you wouldn’t just, you know, throw content up on your website and think, oh, yeah, that’s gonna be compelling. You don’t just you know, if you’re creating a brochure or you’re creating your demo video, or you’re creating your narrative on your website, whatever it is, if you always have that persuasive mindset and you use this pattern, then you’ll think to yourself, okay, what’s the awakening? What’s the need step? What’s the satisfaction step? The visualization step, and then the action step. And with that consistency, you get the outcomes that you’re looking for.
RV (16:26):
Say those again. It’s a, just the five. It’s awakening.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Awakening, need, satisfaction, visualization, and action.
RV (16:35):
Uhhuh, , I love,
Speaker 2 (16:36):
So when somebody comes to me and they say, okay, Terry, will you watch me, watch me? I’ll say, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, I listen to their whole talk, and then I’m asking myself, did they create some sort of awakening in my mind? Like, people think that the attention step is about having a pithy quote or maybe some statistic or some dramatic story, but that’s not what a listener needs in a buying situation. I’m not saying that you can’t use those things, but they should create an awakening. The listeners should go, wow, you know, I’ve heard this before, but the way you’re saying it, it’s landing in my mind in a different way. And now I’m curious, you know, that that awakening curiosity step is what helps you to convert someone who maybe didn’t even initially want to be there. . Like, you know not everybody as excited to hear your proposition as you are to tell it to them.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
So you have to make them intrigued and inspired to want to move forward, and you wanna do it in a way that makes you feel good about it. So that’s that whole essence. And that kind of weaves into the second part of the book. So the first part of the book is focused on how do you build your persuasive case? Okay? The second part of the book is focused on creativity and how do you really bring that message to life? How do you drive connection storytelling, all of those elements, timing, how do you use time effectively? And then the third piece is everybody’s favorite part, right? , which is all of those elements that are based on delivery. Everything from your eye contact and your body language to the way that you speak. Verbal missteps, misusing technology. I mean, all of the 12 mistakes fall.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Like there are four mistakes that fall under case four that fall under creativity and four that fall under delivery. And I confess, you know, Rory, I have personally made every single one of these 12 mistakes, and that’s why I know they’re so costly. In the 5,000 participants that were in the study, there was really only one human that said, I don’t make any mistakes. , like on average, most people confess that they make three or four, and then most people will tell you after the fact, I’ve seen so many of these things play out. And then they start the horror stories of what they’ve seen. Totally. Yeah. So that was the second part of the study. The second part of the study said, okay, well if the first part is based on your self confessions, then the second piece would be, who better to judge sales and business professionals than other business and sales professionals? Hmm. So what did you see? And so what they identified that they noticed were the exact same 12 mistakes, but how they ranked them was different. So for example, I can tell you like the top two mistakes are being overly informative and winging it, but the number one mistake that people noticed in others was none of those things.
RV (19:27):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
The number one mistake that people noticed in others is that that talk was boring. Boring, boring.
RV (19:33):
Uhhuh .
Speaker 2 (19:36):
So don’t you think that’s interesting that most people self-identify as being overly informative, but other people are boring.
RV (19:43):
Call it boring. Yep.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
It’s like, yeah. So we say that in
RV (19:46):
Communication. Sorry, break it theory. Sorry. To to a sweetheart. Yeah. Boring. You’re boring. We’re sleep over, we’re sleeping,
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Right? Yeah. And that’s, that is the, the, that was where things really got super crazy interesting was because we did a, a comparison of what people self-identified with what they noticed in others. And you, what you just said, Rory in instinctively is what really hit it on the head. We don’t tell people, you don’t tell someone, oh, you know, I, I thought that was really good, but you’re boring. We don’t tell people, you know, you, you have all kinds of weird, strange body language and gesturing when you speak. We don’t tell people, did you know that you say or like, or, you know, every other word. Hmm. We don’t say to people, oh, you know what, you use so many industry acronyms and I had no idea what you were talking about. I don’t, we don’t tell people. So what was fascinating is what people self-identified versus what they called out in others. And in those observations, you know, that’s where we get the learnings.
RV (20:54):
Well, and here’s something I would just say for those, if you’re listening and you are a professional speaker wanting to like, get more gigs or get higher fees, or if you’re aspiring, if you’re not getting gigs, that is people telling you you’re boring . Like everyone, like literally everybody thinks, oh, I’m, I’m great at ta. I’m, I’m so good with people. I’m, I’m great at talking to your point about like winging it. And they’re like, no, I’m, I’m so good on stage. And it’s like, well, if you’re really good people walk up to you. And after they walk up to you after and go, that was incredible. I’d like to talk to you about speaking at my event or my friend’s event, or whatever. If you’re not like they are telling you you’re boring like that, that’s, that’s a huge part of it.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Alright. And let’s take it even to your, your seasoned pros that are on the call. You know, we have a burden to evolve our content. Mm-Hmm. . And, you know, you’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve been doing this a long time. The things that I said in that maybe we thought, oh, that put me on the map. Well, maybe it put you on the map then, but it doesn’t keep you on the map, right? Sure. You have to keep evolving and creating and researching and investigating. And then with that wisdom, you pair your street sales experience and you pair that with your wisdom, and then you have to apply it to what’s happening in the world now. And that in and of itself becomes a sales process. Because some people might say, oh, yeah, yeah, we’ve heard her before, but you want them to be like, oh my gosh, we heard her before and now her new content is meaty and really rich. Or, wow, the stuff that Rory’s doing now has just evolved into such a sophisticated level that, you know, you build street cred and credibility from a very different perspective. And I think for those people who have experience that are listening to your podcast, you know, what messages can we take from the Rolling Stones or the Madonna’s and the people that keep reinventing themselves and have incredible longevity? It’s one thing to be
RV (22:56):
Taylor Swift. Swift, our rocket ship, swift Taylor Swift man era’s to her, even though she’s young. She’s, she’s reinvented so many times. I’m a Taylor, I’m a swifty. I’m a swifty. I’m in court.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Who isn’t? How can you not admire that woman? I
RV (23:09):
Mean, yeah, you got, you may not like her, but you gotta respect her. I mean, there’s, there’s lots of people like that in the world where I go, I don’t, I mean, I happen to like Taylor Swift, but like, there’s other people where I go, I don’t like this person at all, , but I have to respect the, the, the magnitude of how they’re playing and what they’re doing and show how they’re showing up. So that’s really powerful for reinventing. I, I, I when you look at, I I’m curious about virtual versus in-person. So you said that in the study there wasn’t, there wasn’t really any distinction. So maybe not from the study, but just I guess from your own observation, because so much of our communication is virtual today. I mean, just so much of it. Are there, are there certain major mistakes that people do make when they’re communicating virtually that you think we can kind of be on the absolutely on the lookout of like, Hey, you gotta, you gotta at least get these basic things right, if you’re communicating virtual because it’s like post covid, it’s like, it is, it is a, it is a bit of a different world.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It isn’t, and it’s not going back. So yes, there’s a whole chapter that’s dedicated to technology and demonstration failures, and they can take place in either a virtual or hybrid environment. I think one of the opportunities in virtual is, is the reach. I mean, you can really yeah. Meet with decision makers in a variety of different locations all at the same time. I mean, from a sales perspective, again, I’m asking people to put their, their sales hats on, but we used to say, oh gosh, it’s so challenging. ’cause Now you can’t just walk into their office and meet with that person. That’s true. There is a limitation to that. However, the opportunity is you can schedule a virtual call and meet with multiple decision makers in, on multiple continents Yeah. And accomplish more in a shorter period of time. And you save not only time, but you can save a great deal of money. And so there is an efficiency when you schedule it correctly. The downside is the time factor. We know that the amount of time you’re given in a virtual or hybrid environment is significantly reduced. You get maybe 30 minutes and then you get a really hard stop. Right? Like we, what is the hard stop? We never used to get this hard stop factor. Yeah.
RV (25:38):
Well, it’s like I have another meeting in two 10 seconds, not, yeah. I need to walk down the hall and drive in my car and there’s flex. It’s like, no, it’s, it’s right now I have to go. Yeah. That’s interesting.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
It’s so just like we were talking before about winging it, we can see that in virtual calls or in hybrid calls, that winging at issue is a huge problem. You cannot just jump on a call and wing it. When you have really strict time parameters, you have to kind of block the time and then you have to try to rein it in if it starts to go sideways. Right? I mean, we’ve all had those moments where, you know, someone on the call will take you down a path that’s gonna pull you off your agenda. So you have to have an awareness like, okay, this thing’s gonna close in like five minutes. Yeah. So what do I need to accomplish before we hit that hard stop? Mm-Hmm. , there is a strategic process that you really have to think through and you, and you just
RV (26:34):
Can’t, you wind it down and sort of land the plane gracefully.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah. And then the secondary factor is one of the biggest mistakes within this chapter is this
RV (26:44):
Is mistake number 11. So it’s techno technology and demonstration failures. That’s what you’re talking about here.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Exactly. And the hybrid environment. So you might be with five or six people in front of you, but you could have five or six people offline. And navigating that hybrid opportunity is tricky. Especially if you’re doing, let’s say for your speaker colleagues, you know, how often are they speaking in front of a live audience and then they have participants. You could have a hundred fifty, two hundred fifty people offline in a hybrid. Yeah. The number, guess what the number one complaint is? They ignore the virtual or speaker.
RV (27:24):
They ignore the virtual.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
They ignore the virtual Mm-Hmm. . And even though we know it, people still do it. Oh heck yeah. That’s
RV (27:33):
The problem. Even if there’s, we’ve done events where we’ve had events for clients, like with Ed Millet’s event, there were 400 people in the room, there were 16,000 watching online. And we still naturally default to playing to the people who are right in front of us. Even though it’s like there’s 16,000 people. It’s like, it’s, it’s just, it’s, it is hard to, it’s hard to do that. It’s hard to play to both. It
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Is. And so that’s why I really committed this book, because there’s these things that you and I, we know, but I say this all the time. I was just with Brandon Steiner and he said, you know, Terry, I, I know this stuff. And I said, Brandon, it’s not that you don’t know, it’s what you do. What I’m fixing is a lot of times not things that you don’t know but you’re not doing. Yeah. And how do you integrate what you know into your behaviors on a consistent basis so that you can get the outcomes that you want? And I think it’s, I think it’s really fun.
RV (28:29):
I love it. I love it. So presentation ready. Improve your sales presentation outcomes. Avoid the 12 most common mistakes. Terry is one of the best trainers in the world on presentations, persuasive presentations specifically including speaking skills, sales skills, and check this book out. Y’all go, go get it. I promise you’ll love it. Terry’s a pro. Any, Terry, where else should people go? If you want, if you want them to sync up and connect with you.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Oh my gosh. Please visit my website. You can just go to teri sine.com. That’s T-E-R-R-I-S-J-O-D-I n.com. You can access all the information about presentation ready. It’s available in bookstores worldwide, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, all of the above. And I do have a newsletter. If you would like to receive a complimentary copy of each of the three research study reports, you can just visit my website. You can download the research summary reports, and you’ll see the data that really underpins all of the content that’s in the book and subscribe to the newsletter.
RV (29:36):
Really cool. Really cool. Of course we’ll link to that in the show notes@brandbuildersgroup.com slash podcast. Terry, thank you for this. Thanks for being here, friend. And I wish you all the best.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I adore you. Keep doing all your magic. Roy. You’re such a star and I’m honored to be your friend. And thank you for having me on your show. It’s a privilege.

Ep 513: On the Other Side of Fear | Victoria Jackson Episode Recap

AJV (00:02):
Hey, everybody. I actually just got off of the amazing privilege to interview a friend of mine on our podcast, the influential personal brand. And her name is Victoria Jackson, and she’s the founder and CEO of Victoria Jackson Cosmetics. She is the founder of No Makeup Makeup, which is, if you’re watching this makeup I’m wearing right now, I’m a super fan of No Makeup Makeup. She’s the author of five books. She’s half of the duo of the Guthy Jackson Charitable Foundation, where they have personally donated over $80 million of their own money to help fund cures for rare autoimmune diseases. She was inducted into the Women’s Hall of Fame by Gloria Steinem. She was awarded an advocacy person of the year by the Pope at the Vatican. Like she has done so many things, and there’s been incredible highs in her life, but there have also been some tremendous lows from a really stable, unstable upbringing to she was the victim of the Pillowcase Rapist when she was a teenager in California to her daughter was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease called NMO in 2008.
AJV (01:23):
And so there’s, it’s this amazing interview of really high highs and really low lows, which all, at the end of the day, make up life, right? And I think that’s one of the things that is hard to understand is I, I hear people ask all the time, like, why do bad things happen to good people? And, but I don’t hear as much of like, why do good things happen to good people? Right? And it’s, I think Victoria is an amazing example of, there has been so much goodness, so much blessing in her life, but there’s also been a lot of heartache and tragedy and, and loss. And this interview was about her new book that’s coming out called We All Worry Now, what? And as we were talking, it got me thinking about what I worry about and as a, a business owner and who feels Uber responsible for what?
AJV (02:19):
42 employees. And as, as a wife to a husband who I love and adore and cannot imagine my life without, and as a mom to two incredible little boys, that even the thought of not having them literally brings me to my knees and to my family, who I love, my dad, my brothers, my my sisters in-laws, and my nieces and nephews, and my, my close friends. And, you know, even to the material things that like I love and hold dear, like our home. It just got me thinking. It’s like, whoa, it’s not, what do
AJV (02:58):
I worry about? What don’t I worry about? But one of the things that came up in the conversation is, you know, there’s, there’s, there’s always relief and joy on the other side of fear. And so how do you go from worry and fear to this other place of, of joy and peace and almost a, a calmness, right? And, and the answer is, is action. It’s action. And what, what does that give us? And ’cause sometimes not only is there joy and peace and calmness on the other side of fear, there’s also success and there’s, there’s blessing. And one of the things that I wanted to share is, and I don’t talk about this often, but well, one thing I do talk about often is I’m a devout believer. I have a very strong faith. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus.
AJV (04:02):
I believe that he was crucified and raised from the dead. I believe he is my savior. I believe that the words in the Bible are true. I believe those things, and not everyone does, and that’s okay. But these, these are things that I believe in ’cause I’ve seen the work of God in my life. I have seen what salvation has done for me. I, I, I’ve seen the changes that knowing Jesus Christ have made in my life. I have seen it physically, emotionally, spiritually. I’m a believer because I’ve witnessed it. And with that said, I was raised a believer, raised in a Christian home. There were lots of highs and lows in our family. We were in a really horrific car accident. When I was seven years old with we were the first car hit in a 13 car pile up by a tractor trailer.
AJV (04:55):
I don’t talk about this often. Both my brothers were pronounced dead on the scene. Hell, you know, hell evaced to the children’s hospital. Both my parents were severely injured, unconscious. Both of them admitted to the hospital. And then there was me who was sitting in the bo back of the car. And I was pulled out by the jaws of life and set in a police car while I watched limp Bodies pulled from this car. And I watched miraculously with no medical explanation. Both of my brothers healed, both of my parents healed. And we toured the country for years with the Children’s Miracle Network, telethon, telling the story of the miracle. That was my brother’s. I’ve seen God’s work and highs and lows in that. And when I was 13, my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and she died when I was 15.
AJV (05:56):
I deeply believe she would recover. She deeply believed she would recover but she didn’t. And I saw God at work in that too. And that took, that took a while to come full circle. But there was, there was God’s grace and and love in that time. But there were highs and lows in that, right? I have chosen to focus on what I was given, not was taken. But those were choices that took a long time to come to. So I share that to go, I have seen God’s work in my life since I was a really young child. And it hasn’t been until here recently that I decided to share that. And I think the reason why is I was worried, like back to the conversation with Victoria. Look, we all worry now. What are you gonna do about it?
AJV (06:54):
And I was worried about sharing my faith. I was worried in college, but I wouldn’t be cool. So I didn’t, in fact, I did the opposite. I just went with what everyone else was doing. I was worried in my young twenties that if I came a, you know, if I talked about that too much or I’d be a, you know, a goodie two shoes, which I most certainly was not. But I, I was worried that if I shared that I would be ostracized or I wouldn’t fit in. Or in my later years, I was worried that I didn’t wanna come across as judgmental or I didn’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable. And so I didn’t share it. I was, I was afraid. I, I was afraid. I was really worried of what everyone else would think about me if I opened up about my faith.
AJV (07:42):
And so we, we didn’t, I didn’t share my faith for a really long time because I was worried. And then in 2022, something changed in my life and my heart and my soul of going, I’m gonna be worried about anything in this world. It cannot be about what people think about what I believe. And I think a lot of that transformation happened because I started reading the Bible again as an adult. In fact, as a 37-year-old lifelong believer in Christian. I read the Bible for the first time, cover to cover. It’s kind of embarrassing for me to admit that. But that’s true. It was the first time that I had picked up the word of God and said, I’m gonna read it. I’m gonna read every word and I’m gonna try to understand it. I’m still trying to understand a lot of it.
AJV (08:36):
But I’m gonna read it because I need to. And so I did. And that’s also when I hired a life coach. And it’s when I started reading books by Jenny Allen and Craig Rochelle and John Mark Comer. And I really said like this, this worry, this, these, these fears. And not just about what people think about me, but fear of my business, fear of my children, fear of losing my husband. Like it’s, it’s consuming me fear of not being able to make payroll, fear of, is this gonna work? Fear, am I, am I making the wrong decisions as a leader? Like worry and fear were consuming me. And I was becoming a dreadful person at the end of 2020. One was probably like least I least ideal, aj, let’s just say that. And in 2022, I was like, something’s gotta change.
AJV (09:29):
Like, God, show me something. And through that process, I started talking about God publicly in my speeches, on Instagram, on podcasts, on videos like this. ’cause I realized that that was a real worry. It was a real fear. And on the other side of that, there had to be something better. And what I really needed to do is take action, right? Is, is do the thing that would like, kind of holding me up, which is, I, I’m not being authentically me. I’m not letting people get to know me. I am, I’m not speaking up for the thing that I believe in more than anything else in this world. I’m not speaking up when I know that God is prompting me too. And I got that’s a problem. And y’all, I share that to go with this. When this interview talks about like on the other side of fear, there is something beautiful.
AJV (10:29):
Here’s what I can tell you is that the moment that I just started sharing of going like, it’s okay if you don’t believe what I believe, it’s okay if I don’t believe what you believe. We can believe different things and coexist and have mutual respect for each other. But I can’t this not share this part of me. It’s that ingrained in who I am. I’ve seen it, I’ve witnessed it. I have to share it. Our entire business changed. My marriage changed, I changed. I believe that taking action in the areas where you have worry and you have fear that not only is there something beautiful on the other side of it what you do is you’re, you’re, you’re giving others the confidence to do the same thing. And I think that’s an a really powerful and empowering gift of going, even if they don’t agree with what you said, by going, man, I really appreciate, appreciate the courage.
AJV (11:29):
‘Cause I know there can be a lot of hate coming your way for that, and you’re doing it anyways. And it’s like, if we’re not willing to stand up for the things that we believe in, what are we doing? Like what are we doing? And there’s a way to do it with kindness and respect. There’s definitely a way to do it not that way. But I believe there’s, there’s a way to, to overcome the worry that we have by, by facing it. And for me, a huge worry was what would people think if I let them know that, you know, Jesus Christ is my savior here? Like, what, what, what would people think if, like, I talked about God and faith and Bible verses and everywhere I went, like, like that was a worry. And here’s what’s happened. The more that I talk about it, the more that people are asking of, why are you doing that?
AJV (12:20):
Why do you believe that? It’s inviting conversations that I had never got to be a part of before. ’cause I didn’t share. It’s, it’s also allowing us to be authentically who we are designed to be. It’s, it’s giving us the strength and the power to do stuff that we probably wouldn’t have done before. And that’s what’s on the other side of fear that that’s what it looks like to overcome worry and overcome fear is to do things. Be things, experience things that you never thought possible. Because they were on the opposite side, right? They were on the side pre pre overcoming fear. And I just felt compelled to share this particular thing because it was the thing that was plaguing me. It, it was, man, I’m a, I’m afraid to do something that I feel called to do. And the moment that I stepped into that calling, my whole life has changed, our business has changed my relationships, my marriage my family, it has changed on the other side of fear.
AJV (13:20):
And so my question to you is like, what is that saying that you know that you should do, but you’re not because of worry or fear? Like, what are you worried about to the point where you’re not doing something that you know that you’re supposed to do or say or be, right? Like, what, what’s that thing for you and what’s the action that you know you need to take to overcome it? Even if it’s this first step in overcoming it. And it’s like, so what’s the worry that’s consuming you? What’s the fear inside of you? And what’s the action that next step that you need to take to start the path to the other side? So highlight of the conversation. If you wanna learn more, check out the book. We all worry now What? By Victoria Jackson. You can get your pre-sale orders now on Amazon Book comes out September 3rd.

Ep 512: From Income to Impact: How to Make the Most Out of Your Gifts with Victoria Jackson

AJV (00:01):
Hey, everybody, welcome to the Influential Personal Brand, and that is the perfect title of a podcast for the interview that I get to do today with the one and only Victoria Jackson. When we talk about influence, this is a woman who has immense influence, and I am so honored to get to know you personally and to get to know your story. And I also, to get to be the one to interview today, I snatched this away from Rory so that I got to lead the interview today. But before I launch into this episode, for everyone who is listening who maybe is new to the name Victoria Jackson, let me give you a little bit of the background. And if I were to read all of her accomplishments and accolades, it would take up the entire podcast. So I’m going to give you some of what I consider the biggest highlights that stand out to me.
AJV (00:57):
So here are some of the things that you need to know about Victoria Jackson. First and foremost, I think this is first and foremost to me. She is the mother of three awesome kids and her and her husband, bill, how long have you guys been married? 32 years. So to me, like those are some of the best and biggest accomplishments. But she is also the founder and CEO of the global brand and infomercial giant Victoria Jackson Cosmetics. And I think this is phenomenal because Victoria was a part of revolutionizing and dominating the entire beauty industry with her no makeup, makeup, which is just relaunched. And I wanna talk about this later. It’s actually, if you’re watching the video today, I am wearing no makeup makeup, and I love it, and I could go on and on about it. But as a huge part of this entire way that she launched this makeup, she was a really, truly a pioneer with being the first to market a cosmetics line on TV with more than 11 international infomercials.
AJV (02:03):
And so she had a 10 year run on QVC with Victoria Jackson’s cosmetic, with more than 600 beauty products, generating a billion dollars in sales. That’s a BA billion dollars in sales, and I love that story, but I think some of the things that, that make up who you are are just as significant as, as, as a teen Victoria survived a sexual assault, and she has gone on to reach out and empower women of in so many different ways around the world. And then in 2008 her daughter was diagnosed with N mo Neuromyelitis Optica and was shared that they, she only had four years to live. And so Victoria, along with her husband, bill, went on to found the Guthy Jackson Charitable Foundation which has raised an unbelievable amount of money to fund research to help find a cure for this disease.
AJV (03:04):
She was nominated as the National Women into the National Women’s Hall of Fame for this work. And then she was also at the Vatican, at the Vatican accepted as the Pontifical Key Advocacy Award for her personal work in trying to overcome and understand the rare autoimmune autoimmune diseases that are in the world. She has funded a series of documentaries. She’s the author of five books. She has a brand new book coming up that we’re gonna talk about later. And she has relaunching this makeup line Woman. I do not know how you have time to do all of these things. So without further ado, everyone and Victoria, thank you so much for being on the show. We’re so excited to have you. So welcome.
VJ (03:48):
Thank you for having me, aj. Yeah, it’s definitely, I, I like to keep myself busy and, you know, I think I was just, you know, born ready. I, I don’t know, a friend of mine said, I’m born ready. Like, I feel like I was just born ready to, ready to go and take on all the challenges, and then just be a doer, you know, and always really there to help and support women and people. I’ve been a Goodwill ambassador in so many different ways.
AJV (04:16):
Ryan, what I love too, is like, you truly are so humble about all of it, and it, it’s, it would be easy for you not to be humble about all of it, but you are. And so I kind of wanna just help the audience get to know you just a little bit. And so can you just tell everyone a little bit of the story of how did you get into the world of makeup? And I mean, I know the backstory, and so just pull out some of the highlights, because I think it’s a really phenomenal story because I think a lot of the people who are listening to this are trying to figure out like, what’s my next thing and how do I go from where I am to where I wanna be? And you have done that exceptionally well.
VJ (04:57):
Well, there, you know, it’s, I think my least favorite question always was when people would go, well, what do you wanna do when you grow up? Or What are you thinking about doing? And I actually, I didn’t know. I didn’t as you mentioned, you know, I had an unfortunate kind of start in life in a, in a few different ways, but one in which really prevented me from graduating high school, from going to college. I was a victim of the Pillowcase Rapist in California when I was 17. And up to that point, I was always a little bit of a, of a nervous Nelly and had anxiety. And, you know I don’t know that I knew where I was going in life. I had a very tumultuous, unstable upbringing, parents kind of getting divorced and, you know, just really not kind of always being able to find my feet.
VJ (05:47):
But one thing I did find my feet with and my hands was I liked doing makeup. I liked taking, having my friends come over and doing makeovers on them. And even though my technique really was something that I had to perfect over time, it was just something that I liked doing. I liked, you know, I, I’ve always had a good eye and wanted to work to, you know, show people how they could look better. And I realized through many, many years of doing this that when you look better, you feel better. And when you feel better, it allows you to go on in life to have more success, or, you know, just feeling good about yourself opens up the door to so many things. So I just started one foot in front of the other, started doing makeovers for friends and put together a makeup kit. And that was the beginning
AJV (06:37):
Mean, but to go from doing makeovers on friends Mm-Hmm. to a billion dollars in sales. Yeah, right. Is pretty radically amazing. Yeah. If there was one thing that you could look back and go, I think I did this different, I think this was unique, and that others can do it too, what do you think it would be?
VJ (07:00):
Well, I think for me, it’s all about perseverance. I, in one of my books, I, I wrote and I opened up in The Power of Rare, which is a book I wrote on Cure and, and helping find cure for disease, and how to put a blueprint together for that. But I write that perseverance is where the God swell. I think that what I can do, and what I will always do is stay the course that I persevere, that even though everybody told me, you know, nobody’s gonna be able to buy your, your products. I sold them on television that nobody was gonna buy makeup on tv. That women need to see them and touch them and feel them in person. I’ve always taken the No and turned that around and said, well, I don’t know about that. You know, I, I, I think I can do it, and here’s how.
VJ (07:45):
So it’s just that sense of perseverance, of this constant, this resilience that just makes me move forward no matter what. And I think that’s the takeaway most people get when they look at, you know, the breadth and the depth of, of my career. And what I’ve done is that I just, I never give up as all the people that, you know, you talk to and your listeners, all the aspiring entrepreneurs out there, you just have to keep going. You. so even though I’m saying, oh, I started by putting a kit together and doing my friends, it really was, everything was one step to the next step, to the next step. And even the book that I’ve written now, we all worry now what Ta-da. It’s really the, it’s the step by step of how to zoom out, how to get perspective, how to just take that next step. And a lot of it, you know, we think of, oh, you know, it’s so basic, but it’s, the basics really are the stepping stones that get you there. It’s just doing it, you know, it’s doing the work, and it’s not easy, and you gotta just keep moving forward. Even when everybody tells you, you know, it may not lead to that pot of gold. Everybody’s pot of gold is different.
AJV (09:04):
Hmm. I love that. Curious, I don’t know if I know this timeline from the first day that you started, like professionally doing makeup, so we’ll say beyond just doing makeovers, but like, when you were actually doing professional makeup to when you actually had, like, success with these infomercials, how long was that timeline?
VJ (09:28):
Oh, that was 13 years. So people think, oh, overnight success. Yeah. I was doing I was doing makeovers for 13 years. I was working in the, you know, editorial space, so I was doing everything, A lot of the ads that you see a lot of at the time magazine covers, album covers. I did about 200 album covers. I would do people magazine covers. So many kind of, and that time is invaluable because during those 13 years, I could see, well, what kind of products do women respond to? I came up with during that time what I became known for, and still to this day, hence product number two, no makeup, makeup. That was really something that I came up with in the eighties. And think about that in the eighties, everybody’s wearing like the shoulder pads and like, you know, heavy glam makeup. I’m doing no makeup makeup. So I was completely going contrary to what was happening at the time. But it was very much, and you see how timeless things can be still holds true to this day. I mean, you have it on, you look beautiful. I want women to just not look like they have a lot of makeup on, but just feel like themselves, not use it as a mask or war paint. And so that 13 years gave me that chance to perfect my, really became my signature of no makeup makeup.
AJV (10:52):
You know, I love that because I think most people listening, no offense to anyone, don’t get offended. We’re trying to skip all that time. Yeah. We’re, we’re trying to skip the hard work. We’re trying to skip the hard years, the research years, and we’re going, why isn’t this working? And the truth is, is you’ve been doing it six months or a year. I saw this quote on Instagram a few days ago, and it just really stuck out to me, and it said, you don’t have the patience to build your business in three years, but somehow you found the patience to work for somebody else for 40.
VJ (11:26):
Yeah.
AJV (11:27):
And I think that kind of sums it up. It’s like, good take time and nothing is wasted,
VJ (11:34):
You know? And I mean, honestly, it, those are the kinds of things you have to think about. You know, being an entrepreneur and being in that, there is a little bit in that secret sauce is you have to be somebody. There are some people that they, they want that security and that comfort of working for somebody else for 40 years. And that’s okay. That’s okay. Because when you’re kind of, you know, cutting that tie and you’re going out solo and you’re doing your thing and you’re, you’re, you’re flying on your own, that’s scary. And that’s not easy to do. So you really have to have those hard talks with yourself to see, I’m the first to encourage it, but I never shame anyone for deciding, Hey, yeah, you know what, I’ve got the good job that I like, or the comfort or the things that I’m familiar with, and no, that’s okay.
VJ (12:22):
But that’s, that isn’t my, you know, spirit. I am that little warrior that is always sort of from the beginning, gotta explore and do, and, you know, figure it out. And sure, it’s a lot easier now at this point in my life as I’m getting ready to wait for it, I turned 70 you know, I’ve had a lot of life experience and all of that has really led me to where I am now to be able to tell my story and try to encourage people and look back at all the things that I’ve done and, and, you know, pay it forward.
AJV (13:00):
Yeah. And, and first of all, I hope I look like you do when I turn 70. You look amazing. But I think also one of the things that you just said is one of the reasons I really wanted to have you on the show, because this is about, you know, building an influential personal brand, and not for the sake of fame or notoriety, but for, for doing good and making a positive impact in the world. And in many cases, you can do that without money. And in some cases there are opportunities for people in, in your case, like you had this a abundant mental abundance mentality of going, I have the money. How can I do good with it? And one of the things that I love is this idea of like taking your income and turning it into impact. And I think that’s one of the things that you’ve done so extraordinarily well with the success of all that you’ve done in business, you were able to take that and also do some really amazing things with you know, this charitable funding, trying to find cures for rare disease.
AJV (14:05):
So here, here are the questions I have, because a lot of people in our community, in our audience impact is really what they’re after. They, they have good sustainable businesses and they’re going, but I, I just, I know there’s more from me than just, you know, the revenue and p and l statements. Like, I, there is something in me that wants to do good. And I know that there was, you know, kind of this life altering moment in your, you know, life in 2008 when your daughter got diagnosed, but there was also something else in you that goes, no, I have the funds. I’m gonna do something about it. Because I think a lot of us have funds that we’re not doing something with. So can you talk a little bit about like, what’s the path of turning your, your income into impact?
VJ (14:50):
Well, I think you have to start earlier on the path. When I did that, as I was even in my makeup career, I was going to the jails, right? So even when I didn’t have money, I was thinking, what ev what else, what other skillset do I have that can feel like I can add value, that I can do something when I didn’t have money? So I went to the jails for 20 years, and I had a look better, feel better program for women that were in jail. So I was already thinking about and wanting to give back. And even in my makeup skillset, I was doing makeovers at the hospital for patients. So, you know, I was always already thinking and geared that way. So when my daughter was diagnosed in 2008, it was really, okay, I’m gonna, you know, as a mom, I’m gonna find a cure for my daughter.
VJ (15:42):
I don’t know what that’s gonna look like. As I said, I didn’t graduate high school, I didn’t go to college, and now I’m in the world of a very complex autoimmune disease, NMO neuromyelitis optica, which really manifests in very much looks like in misdiagnosis and ms. People think it’s ms, they’re very similar. And so how am I gonna learn about this, do this? And I started from that place. And then very quickly as my daughter and I were going through this very, very difficult time, she said to me like, you know, this isn’t just about us anymore. And then I realized it wasn’t for, and we, fortunately due to our business and my husband’s success and business, we put in $80 million of our own money. We never raised money. We actually put in our own money. And that was something, you know, and, and we’re still doing that 15 years later, we’re still putting in money for a foundation that is now changed the entire landscape.
VJ (16:44):
And I recommend for anybody out there who’s suffering with, you know, any kind of a, whether it’s a, a tough diagnosis or how to go about looking at what we did, our story Ally and I, is called saving each other. And it’s what I call my momi, really our story. And then the Power of Rare, which is the blueprint of how did we actually take this money and get drugs made, because now we have four therapies and my daughter is, you know, is stable at this point in time. So it’s kind of, I took that same thinking from my makeup days because it was very much about, here’s the makeup and then here’s how to, it’s very much like, here’s the foundation, here’s our story, and then here’s how to, how to do it. So really from like almost foundation to, to foundation. So it’s always been for me about giving back an impact and purpose and taking a lot of leaps of faith along the way.
AJV (17:45):
Yeah, I love that. And I think that’s probably where I think a lot, lot of people are struggling of finding the balance of like, okay, I want this to be about impact, and I need it to be about income. I have to make money at the same time. But, and I love what you said, it’s like there’s, and there’s a million ways to get back with your gifts and talents. It doesn’t require money, but how do you figure out what those gifts and talents are and put them to good use?
VJ (18:14):
Yeah. You just gotta get scrappy and think about it, you know, like, what’s going on in your local community and what, and what can you do? I think the world being as nutty as it is now, and as you know, divisive and polarizing, all the things that are going on, I, it’s so important to get back to community and to thinking about what can we do to support each other? You know, where is that kindness that we can really can put into every day something that we’re thinking not just about ourselves, but others? I think that, and, and that just, you never know when you’re doing that, what doors open where that leads you because so much of it is you, you just don’t know. Like, if somebody would’ve told me while I was doing makeup and trying to figure that whole part of my life out, that cut to the next part of my life, I’d be actually working to cure rare autoimmune disease. I would’ve never believed it. Or that I’d be at the Vatican receiving an award from the Pope, or that Gloria Steinem would be inducting me into the hall of, like, all those things would’ve never even entered into my consciousness. And yet, they’ve all, they’ve all been a, an amazing part of my life that I’ll always, you know, look back on and go, wow, how did that all happen? But life unfolds in a way, and if we just keep doing the work and showing up.
AJV (19:37):
Yeah. And I, I mean, I think that’s like the heart of so much of your message. It’s like, show up, do the work, keep going. What’s the best next step? Yeah. And I think a huge part of how you’ve been able to give back a lot of, you know, you’ve written five books. Mm-Hmm, . And we’ve got this new one that’s coming out September 3rd, 2024. You guys can, it’s on presale now on Amazon. I’ll put the link in the show notes, but it’s called, we All Worry Now. What, so this is the fifth book that you’ve written. So this is not your first rodeo, but I, I think it’d be worthwhile of just helping everyone know, with everything else that you have going on, there was no need for you to write books. So where did the passion for writing come from? And then I would love to specifically talk about this new book coming out.
VJ (20:27):
You know what, it’s also, it’s all part of that sharing. There’s that, I just have this very, if I can do it, you know, because I come from a place of low self-esteem, I still am constantly working on that, which people go, really? But yes. So it’s always the, well, oh, look, if I could do it, you can do it. And here’s how, like, I, I did this, so you can do this too, and here’s how I’m gonna just show you what I did, and you, you know, take what works for you and, you know, leave the rest. And so that’s always been it. The first book was a, it was called redefining Beauty. It was a beauty book. The second book was Make Up Your Life. So again, it was the, the how to of the book, redefining beauty and then Make Up Your Life was, why does it all matter?
VJ (21:12):
How does looking better feeling better change? Then, you know, the third book was saving Each Other, which was really when my life changed and our story. And then the fourth book was, and here again, is the how to and now this book is really all about, you know, I’ve been, at this point in my life, as I said, I’ve always been filled with anxiety and a warrior, and, but I’ve also been a, a warrior. So the book originally was Warrior to Warrior, but I’ve, there was a few titles with that. But I also liked the universality of like, we all worry, you know, worry is, we talk about stress and anxiety, but you kind of start with worry. Worry is what you like water. And it, all of a sudden now it has become the stress, the anxiety. So I think you’re gonna hear a lot more about worry.
VJ (22:02):
And it’s kind of, now what do we do about that? So it was important to me to share my experiences. What do you worry about? I worry about everything. I’m a black belt warrior, , so I, I’m really good at worry. So, you know, I worry about my kids. I worry about, you know, why are people so angry these days? You know, I worry about, I still don’t love to travel. So what’s great about me writing this book is it’s not like I write it like, oh, I’m cured. I I don’t have worry anymore. No, I still worry. But I, it’s manageable now. Now I really use these steps to sort of like zoom out, get perspective, and what’s also great in the book, I was very intrigued, how do other people navigate it? So I asked these extraordinary women that all open each chapter.
VJ (22:54):
And men, I have Jay Shetty in there as well. But Maria Shriver, Chris Jenner, okay. We think about the Kardashians. So what are, you know, what are they worrying about or what’s going on? Chris Jenner, you know, very religious, you know, what, how does she start her day with, you know, faith every day? You know, how does she bring her family together? Gloria Steiner, Jane Fonda, what does she worry about? There’s so many interesting things that I was learning from what women, not only worry about, but how they navigate it. So I wanted to put all that together. And again, it’s my offering to people out there on how in a, in a world of a time where there’s so much we worry about just because you have a lot of money doesn’t mean you don’t worry, you know? I, my life is fantastic. I mean, I am so blessed and so lucky, and at the same time, we’ve worked really hard and I make sure to give back, but there’s still worry, you know?
AJV (23:59):
Yeah, I know. I mean, I think, I, I agree with you. It’s a universal, doesn’t matter how much or how little you have there is worry, right? Yeah, yeah. Whatever it is, right? The, the magnitude of the worries are different with each stage of life, but we all, we all do that. So I’m curious to know a little bit about your writing process, because so many people who are listening to this podcast, they do have a calling on their life like you have where it’s like, I, I feel called to put this on paper and, and turn it into a book. And so I would love to hear from you. It’s like, how did you go about deciding what the book should be about? And I think if I recall, you hand write, right?
VJ (24:47):
I hand write. I mean, I’m so old school that is part of being, being old. I’m old school. I like, you know, I have my little pad of paper and I just write stream of consciousness thought I talk I’ll talk it out into a, you know, a recorder. And I just did the audio version. This is the first time on this book that I actually did the audio version. And I have to say that was an experience in itself as well, reading it all back to yourself. Because a lot of times when I’m writing, you know, you’re not, I’m not always reading it back as much as I, as I think I am, until I’ve really finished the book. And I was like, wow. But you know, it’s just a very, it’s, I think writing a book is really tough. It’s really frustrating for me at times.
VJ (25:34):
I, I struggle with it. I’m lucky. I’ve had, I can never take full credit. I have people that have helped me in my writing because I’m very insecure in that I grammatically will think, oh wait, do I need to put a a period here at the end of this sentence? Or should that be a comma? Or, you know, I can get so stuck on the stupid little things. That it’s been helpful for me when I’ve been able to sit with somebody and go like, okay, these are the big points of what I really wanna say and get across. And again, it’s just doing it. It’s just doing it. Like, I could use, I could have used that as an excuse. Well, you know, I’m not really good at writing dah dah, dah. You have people that support you or help you, or, you know, it takes me longer than most people to write a book, but I still manage to put out five of them. Versus there’s a lot of people that talk about it, think about it, never do it. Yeah. You just gotta,
AJV (26:31):
Yeah. And I love that. ’cause It’s like, and I love that you hand write, like, I think that’s incredible. And I think that’s just a testament for everyone listening. It’s like, there’s no right way to write a book, talk it out on audio hand, write it in a notebook, work with a coach, have a ghost writer, hire an editor. Like whatever it is, just do it.
VJ (26:53):
Just do it. And then make sure it’s true to you. You know? I mean, that’s when I felt really good was when I was reading back the book and I went, this is absolutely true to me. This is, this is honest, this is true. This is real, this is helpful. This is what I want to impart to people. So that’s really important. ’cause I genuinely care.
AJV (27:16):
Yeah, I know you do. Why, why a book on worry. So what was it about this particular topic that compelled you to write a whole book about it?
VJ (27:27):
Because that’s been the theme of my life. . That’s, that’s, I mean, worry is that’s, I’m a, I’m a wor like I said, black belt warrior, so that’s what I wanted to work about, because worry, stress, anxiety can so blanket your life to a point where, you know, I was able to always have that right there. But I’ve still been doing things kind of a contrast, a real contradiction in terms like, I’ve been really crippled with it, but at the same time, I’ve also accomplished a lot. But it’s always been the weight that I’ve carried. And as we say in the book, you know, worry weighs more when you carry it alone. So building that support system. So I really wrote about worry because it’s been the thing that I’ve struggled with more than anything. The stress, the anxiety, the panic attacks. So I just thought that if, if something that I’m gonna leave behind, besides, in addition to the part of my life where I was telling you how to make your lips fuller and your eyes bigger, I was also going to tell you how to navigate worry. And then, oh yeah, I might throw in how to think about getting a, a drug made and a, and a therapy too. It is just, it’s all part of my sharing of my life experiences along the way. I mean, it’s really, you can kind of just look at it and go, yep, she did this. Then she taught us how she did this. Then she shared that. Then she’s always, oh, she’s always been a warrior. She’s showing us how to be a warrior. Mm-Hmm.
AJV (28:55):
That’s good. Who would you say for everyone’s listening, like who would you say this book is really for?
VJ (29:03):
I think it’s for everybody. I really do. You know, you look at these books now that are out like the anxious generation and with where we are in social media, I mean, everybody’s affected one way or another. I mean, young people are, are worrying about everything to do with their friends and how they look and you know, there’s so much that young people now, and it, because of social media, which I didn’t grow up with the way it is now, I think it’s just, there’s so much more anxiety and stress. So even if they’re not sitting down and reading every page of my book you know, there’s something that they’ll be able to take away from, like, something that’s actually doable. So is do we really know too many people that are, you know, short of like little kids that are not worried or stressed or anxious these days?
VJ (29:53):
Sadly, I, I don’t, you know, I’ve got little grandkids. So at six and eight, I hope they’re not dealing with too much anxiety. But when you read this, these books now that are so much, it starts pretty early. So I, I write something just like I do my makeup. You know, people always say, well, who’s your, what’s your makeup geared for? What? It’s a, oh, you’ve got skin. I am, this is your makeup. You know, I mean, I’m, I’m not putting it at a over 40 person. I’m not, you know, I like the idea of no makeup makeup for everybody to just look natural and look like themselves. So I think more universally, I guess is what I’m saying, ultimately.
AJV (30:35):
Well, I do believe, you know, worry is a universal problem. We all struggle with. Like, I could probably make a list of at least 10 things that I’ve worried about today Yeah. Since I woke up just a few hours ago. And so one quick thing about the book, and then I would like to talk about no makeup makeup in the last few minutes that we have. But if you were to say, if you consider yourself somebody who really struggles from worry, like if there was one thing from the book that you’re like, I don’t care if you don’t get anything else from this book, if you just left with this one thing I know it would help you, what would it be?
VJ (31:09):
It’s taking action that even in the face of worry, even in the face of your massive anxiety, that you still have to do something to take that next step. So to me, you know, yes, it’s okay to fall apart and be stressed out and have that moment, but you have to then like not sit in that. You have to take that walk in nature or make that phone call. You’re afraid of, you know, everything that, there’s that saying, you know, everything is amazing. That’s on the other side of fear. It’s, it’s really working to get to that other side of fear and to get anywhere close to that other side of those amazing things that can be on the other side, you’ve gotta just take the next step. So it’s just doing something, whatever it is, when you’re in that moment of like paralysis and you’re worried to the point of not being able to do that, you’ve gotta just do something. And sometimes that’s just walking outside and, you know, going around the block, something to shake it up. I know it sounds so basic. You’re like, that’s it, Victoria. It’s like, yeah, sometimes that’s it. Because in that moment you clear your head enough to sort of let the next thing in and the next thing and the next
AJV (32:28):
Thing. Hmm. That’s good. Quick personal question. Is there anything that you can say like, Hey, this is something that I fear, fear that I haven’t yet done that I know I need to do to take action on?
VJ (32:44):
Yeah, I mean, for me, travel has always been sort of my like little bugaboo. Like I don’t love a lot of movement. And I say this as a person who’s moving all the time, probably like going to some exotic traveling will be what I’ve gotta sort of go, okay, you can do it. I didn’t fly for so many years 35 years, I didn’t, I didn’t fly as a result of claustrophobia. And I still struggle with that. So I think for me, that will be my continued kind of, you know, eat, love, pray moment of going out, you know, in the wild and, and just wherever that is, just out of my comfort zone.
AJV (33:30):
Hmm. Yeah, I asked because I, you know, I was just sitting here thinking as you were talking about like, what are the things that I know I need to take action on, but there’s some amount of worry or fear that is preventing me to move forward. And I just know that if you struggle with that, if I struggle with that, everyone’s listening, we all struggle with something like that. And, you know, Rory and I have had these conversations in our house a lot here lately. And I think one of the things that we fear is like, man, like how much of what we really think should we share? You know? And I think there’s a real fear of not wanting to come across as judgmental, but also feeling compelled to, to share an alternative view or one that maybe isn’t as popular or as common. And I think there’s a lot of that fear of cancel culture, which has a lot of people who have thoughts and opinions afraid to talk.
VJ (34:31):
Yeah, no, it’s, it’s very, it’s very real. It’s all part of what creates the, the stress and the anxiety is ’cause people are afraid to just be themselves. But I think that there’s a way to do it if you do it with kindness, where the problem is there’s so many people that are doing it you know, with so much hate or bitterness or, you know, anger and, you know, that’s always hard. And then, so then other people are afraid to just say anything because of the afraid of the judgment. You know, I’ve always tried to be as authentic and real and you know, I’ll, I may have opinions that other people don’t like and they’re just mine and it’s like, take it or leave it. And I’m very, you know, if people are not like doing harm to somebody else, and some people politically believe this and some people believe that, and somebody was pro-abortion, somebody’s pro-life, like, you know you know, I just take it all in and, you know, you try to have conversations as civilly as you can and listen to other people. You know, there’s that level of respect at times that we’ve all lost a little bit. And I think you just have to get back to that and and not worry so much about not being able to just have conversation and be yourself. I think that’s important. You hate to lose that because that’s kind of really where the magic is because that’s where we’re authentic to who we are.
AJV (35:57):
Totally agree. And, and back to, it’s like we all have worry at some level. So what are we gonna do about it? So again, we all worry now what coming to a bookshelf near you very, very soon. Again, I’ll put the show notes or the link in the show notes, but you can pre-order it now on Amazon. Pick up a copy, buy one for yourself, buy one for a friend. And before we go, I also wanna talk about this relaunch of Yeah, no makeup, makeup. And as I mentioned earlier, I am wearing it today and I love it. I think it’s amazing. One, I love that it’s in a little compact and it’s so creamy. ’cause I’m usually putting my makeup on, on the go , and I can do it in the car. Not that I should be doing that while driving, but what inspired this relaunch?
VJ (36:45):
You know, for me, I mean, I love look at being, I was always in a, in the lab creating product. As I said, I made about 600 and it’s really fun working with color and pigments and coming up with a great product. So I am a formulator at heart. I love it. And my foundation, when I first launched No makeup makeup many years ago, was my hero product, my number one product. And so I wanted to bring it back, but bring it back in a new clean vegan, like, just an amazing formula. I was not gonna launch anything until I had like, what I thought is the perfect foundation. That’s what this is. It comes in 13 shades. And I, I love it. I mean, it’s so easy for me to sell it because I’m like, I love it. I think since I’ve launched, just in the last month, we’ve had two returns. I mean, like, people love it. So that’s what I wanted to just get back into kind of back where I started the whole no makeup makeup and I own the trademark. I trademarked that in the eighties. So it’s just a message that’s still true. It’s timeless. So I wanted to make a, just a fantastic product and I’ve done that and it’s no makeup makeup.com and people can check it out and yeah, I love it.
AJV (38:00):
Well, you know, that’s the thing about building something that’s evergreen and timeless, and now it’s getting introduced to a whole new generation of people like me who wasn’t wearing makeup in the eighties. And and a again, I think one of the things that I love is just a great reminder for all of us is that, you know, it’s never too late to start and it’s never too late to restart. And that’s so much of what I love about you. It’s like, I mean, if I can do it, why not? We can figure it out.
VJ (38:36):
Why not? And I mean, even in makeup, you know, it’s sort of like, it’s, it’s pretty easy. Like this comes with a brush and it’s start at your jawline, match your color. You’re, you’re in, it’s, it’s makeup. If you don’t like how something looks, you wash it off. Like I, I try to get women off the, the hurdle of, you know, they get so in their head sometimes, not just women. And we get stuck that even when I was doing my makeup for so many years, which with this how to, it was just like, here’s, here’s how you do it. And it doesn’t matter. Like, people go, well what if, do I need to start with my eyes first? And then my lips, I’m like, at the end of the day, we just care how it looks like when it’s all done. So I just wanna create products that make you feel good and look good and look like yourself and not wear a mask. So there’ll be other products that follow this, but right now it’s no makeup, makeup, just the foundation for beautiful skin. Well,
AJV (39:29):
I can attest. It’s feels good on, looks good on, I think the feel of makeup is really important to me. And this, it doesn’t feel like I have anything on. I really love it. And I, what I love too is that, you know, this whole idea of like, people think all the time I have to create something new. Yeah. And it’s like, no, you don’t. Yeah. You can just take something that already had and just make it better. Make
VJ (39:57):
Better, improve it. Yeah. That’s the good thing. You know, technology’s changed and I took what was an original formula and I just improved it, you know, manyfold. So, and you look beautiful.
AJV (40:09):
Thank you. And I think for everyone listening, it’s like when you think, oh, I have to write this whole new book, or I have to build this whole thing. No, you don’t. You just, you can take what you have and revise it and it’s taking
VJ (40:21):
That next step. It’s just, it’s just, it’s just doing it. You know? It’s, there’s talking about it’s great, but then you just gotta, you just gotta do it. And it’s always work. So you gotta just be ready to do the work. And and that’s honestly, like I said, it’s, it’s simple, it’s basic, but and people are, are listening, trying to always find what are the magic words you’re gonna say? Sometimes it’s just, you gotta get uncomfortable. You gotta do it. And you gotta work to find what’s on that other side of, for me, fear. Mm-Hmm. . And there’s pretty amazing things.
AJV (40:59):
All right. Last question. And I know that we’re running out of time here, but you mentioned this earlier, that you’re about to turn 70. Yes. And so I wanna know what’s next for you. Like,
VJ (41:12):
You know what, that’s the great part. I don’t know. Who knows? Who knows? Maybe you, and I’ll be talking in five years, 10 years, and you’ll go, you did what ? I, I don’t know. You know, maybe I’ll be laying by a pool. You know, in 10 years from now, I, I haven’t had that opportunity yet. I’ve been doing for so long. I don’t know. You know, I think that’s part of it is to go into this as now I, you know, have grandkids. My kids are getting older. It’s seeing what that, you know, I don’t wanna sound all like old and sleepy, but I don’t know what’s coming up next. You know, I think I’m, I’m the kind of person that just puts it out there. And then I’m gonna see what comes from the book that I, i, you know, have written. Who am I going to hear from? What am I going, who am I going to meet as I go further down the road with my cosmetics? I, that’s kind of what’s so cool. You don’t know, you just gotta put it out there to, to even know what’s coming next.
AJV (42:15):
And I love the, the mystery and the adventure and all of that. ’cause The truth is, if we had never put out what we were doing, our paths would’ve never crossed. Yeah. And you just, you just never know. But you gotta put it out there. You gotta do the work. And I love too of going just enjoy the beautiful mystery of just not knowing, but do the work, keep moving and enjoy the ride.
VJ (42:39):
Yeah, exactly.
AJV (42:41):
Victoria, thank you so much for coming on. And everyone just one more time. Her book is coming out very soon, September 3rd, pre-order now on Amazon. We all worry now what? And her makeup as relaunched now available now@nomakeupmakeup.com and at Victoria. If anyone wants to just follow you personally, where’s the best place to send them?
VJ (43:07):
Oh my gosh. Probably Instagram. You can, you know, the original original Victoria Jackson, I believe is where we’re, I’m so not in the world of social media. You’ll all help me as we go along on this journey. But yes, you’ll be able to follow me. Okay,
AJV (43:23):
Well that’s what’s next for Victoria Social Media. That’s it.
VJ (43:28):
,
AJV (43:31):
I’ll put the handle the official Victoria Jackson. I’ll put that in the show notes. Thank you so much. Loved having you on today. Love getting to see you and talk to you and everyone else. Stay tuned for the recap, which will be coming up next. And we’ll see you next time on the influential personal brand.

Ep 511: 4 Painful Lessons I Wish I Knew Before Becoming An Entrepreneur | Clate Mask Episode Recap

RV (00:00):
Here’s four business lessons I wish I knew sooner as an entrepreneur. Number one, perseverance matters more than pedigree. Perseverance matters more than pedigree. If you’re an entrepreneur, don’t be impressed by people who have fancy degrees or letters after their name. When it comes to starting a business, it’s all about who has the fight, who has the hustle, and who has the ability to solve problems too early and too often in my career, I surrender to people just ’cause they were older than me or I thought they were smarter than me because they had more experience. It’s nothing like what it means to be an entrepreneur when you’re starting something outta nothing. What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, the size of fight in the dog. Number two, when it comes to starting a great company, most of it comes down to three things.
RV (00:50):
Sales systems and superstars. I’m telling you, 99% of building a great business is being great at making sales. It’s being great at building systems, and is being great at recruiting superstars. I don’t even care what businesses is. I don’t care what industry, and I don’t care what geographic region. We have coached people all over the globe. I’ve spoken all over the globe, and these three things are true. If you can make sales, the business is gonna stay alive. But sales doesn’t solve all your problems. ’cause if you make a lot of sales, but you have crappy systems and you don’t have superstars, sales is actually gonna create more problems. But sales keeps you alive. Sales is the lifeline of the business. If you wanna make your business awesome, then you need great systems and you need superstars. You need amazing people. So that’s what you’re after.
RV (01:41):
But you don’t need a master’s degree. You don’t need to have 40 years of experience. You have to have that perseverance. And then you have to stay focused on growing sales, always keeping revenue coming in the door, strengthening your systems, right? Having great processes and always recruiting, attracting, and keeping, and creating great opportunities for really great people. Which brings me to number three. And I’ll say this is the scariest thing that I have learned in all of business. This is one of my least favorite things that I have learned, and I almost don’t even want to tell you what this lesson is because it pains me to say it. And that is that loyalty is just a paycheck away. Loyalty is just a paycheck away. I heard that early in my career and when I first heard it, I rejected it. And I thought, no, no, no. Like that’s not it. And it’s certainly not that for everybody. Some people are loyal because they’re loyal. Some people really believe in the mission. Some people really believe in the company. But in many cases, loyalty is a paycheck away. The moment someone shows up and offers to pay your people more money to go do it, they’re likely to leave. So the way that I internalize that is to say, you should strive to pay your people
RV (02:58):
As well as you can, as fast as you can without sinking yourself and without sinking the company. But you need to be aware to go. Nothing is guaranteed. The people on your team are not guaranteed to be there. They’re not automatically locked in. And this isn’t like it was 50 years ago where people stayed at one company their whole career. You can be pretty sure that the people on your team are thinking about starting their own thing, starting their own thing, doing a side hustle, being recruited, and loyalty is just a paycheck away. Even beyond that, in personal cases, people will betray you in business. They will, even if it’s not taking another job, it’s, it’s doing things internally. I’ve seen this in the corporate world. I’ve seen it in the entrepreneur world. Just be aware that the people that you think are your best friends.
RV (03:44):
When push comes to shove and money’s on the table, people do crazy things. So nothing is guaranteed and do your best to pay people. Well, that brings me to lesson number four, which is all that matters is what’s in the contract. All that matters is what’s in the contract. Now, I’ll tell you, I heard a piece of advice that is true, and it’s the opposite of what I’m telling you. A, a mentor of mine, someone that I, I very much respect, shared with me early in my career. He said, if you can’t trust the person’s handshake, then what’s in the contract doesn’t matter. And that is true. If you can’t trust their handshake, then what’s in the in the contract doesn’t matter. But even if you can trust the person’s handshake, if you ever get into a situation where there is a legal battle, where there is some discrepancy where push comes to shove and there is an argument, it will be settled by what is on the paper.
RV (04:39):
So whatever it is, get it documented. And if you come to an agreement with somebody and they’re really on board with that agreement, they shouldn’t be resistant to documenting it. If they’re resistant to documenting it, let me tell you something, they don’t actually mean it. They might say it because they’re trying to get you to do something, but if somebody really means it, they’ll want it on paper. If they don’t, I’m skeptical. So there you have it, four business lessons that I wish I knew earlier as an entrepreneur. Take those four things, put ’em into practice in your business. I promise it’ll help you be successful much faster than we’ve been able to.

Ep 510: Conquer the Chaos with Clate Mask

RV (00:02):
Well, today you’re gonna hear from someone who is a dear friend of mine. His name is Clate Mask and Clate’s product, his company, his life mission, has radically changed my life, our lives, our business. He is a huge part of what has made Brand Builders Group successful, although many of you don’t realize the role that he has because it’s so behind the scenes but it is so critical to everything we do, and you’re gonna hear about that. How is that possible? Well, clay is the CEO and the co-founder of Keep, which is the world’s leading business automation software. It is round a hundred million dollar company. It’s a SA software as a service, a SaaS company. And it is the business automation tool that AJ and I have used to now build six different multimillion dollar businesses, two of which have become eight figures including Brand Builders Group, which has gone from zero to eight figures in five years.
RV (01:00):
The reason why that has happened, a huge part of why that has happened is because we have built our businesses on kes platform. We use Keap to automate our marketing, to automate our sales pipeline, to automate our customer experience, to automate our customer service, to automate our onboarding, our recruiting, our hiring, our our interviewing. We automate our payments, we automate our collections. We automate so many parts of our business. We automate so many parts of our content marketing and our podcast production, and virtually all of them are, can connected back through this software. And so much so that we have been building a custom version of that software called Instant Automation Toolkit, which has been over coming up on five years in development. And we’re just about to release it. And so I thought, Hey, you need to meet this man. The man that was you know, one of the original visionaries of the whole marketing and business automation space. And Clay is also a New York Times bestselling author. He is a multi Inc. 5,000, you know, CEO. He is an award-winning entrepreneur. And he has a book that just came out called Conquer the Chaos. And we’re gonna talk about exactly what that means. And part of what Clate has done is build an amazing personal life in addition to an amazing business. And so we’re gonna talk about how to not only automate your business, but also win in your personal life at the same time. So Clate, welcome to the show, my brother.
CM (02:33):
Hey, thank you Roy. That was a heck of an intro. I appreciate you
RV (02:36):
. Yeah, man, I, I, I, I mean it, I I would not endorse something like that. And, you know, we are building a whole function, a whole division of our company this instant automation toolkit product that, that is, I I think this is the first time I’ve even talked about it on the podcast ’cause it’s been in development, but it’s becoming real because of you and, and, and, and because of how much, you know, the, the tool and your team ha has built. I don’t wanna talk, I don’t wanna dive into the technology though. I wanna talk about your book Conquer the Chaos, because, you know, they’re very much related. But, but I think the, the real issue is, is chaos. So why do you use that word chaos? Where does, where does that term or that concept come from? How does that show up and affect personal brands and, you know, small business owners, like, you know, talk to me a little bit about that. Yeah,
CM (03:32):
You bet. You know, we, we’ve worked with entrepreneurs for over 20 years helping them to achieve their, their goals and dreams. And, you know, when everybody gets into business, they have this, this dream of freedom. They’ve got this view of what things are gonna be like when they get to, you know, stick it to the man, have no boss, do what they wanna do, and have all the time in the world and the ability to make all the money they want. And then they get into it and oh my gosh, there’s so much to do. There are never enough hours in the day. There’s a feeling of great overwhelm. Things are slipping through the cracks. And you feel like, oh my gosh, how can I clone myself? I, you know, I I I’ve gotta figure out some way to get all of this stuff done. That’s the chaos. And, and it’s, it’s a, it’s a sense of overwhelm. It’s things slipping through the cracks. It’s just never enough hours in the day. And where it really comes from when you get right down to it, it, it actually comes from inadequate systems and processes. Mm-Hmm. And that’s not a, you know, it’s not a sexy thing people like to think about or talk about. And, you know, it’s a lot more fun to talk about sales and marketing and frankly
RV (04:37):
No one, no one, no one puts on their vision board systems Exactly. Processes, . Exactly. Like not on the vision board.
CM (04:45):
Exactly. Exactly. And, and frankly, you know, we, as you know, we built up Infusionsoft as the leader in marketing automation that was about doing all of the marketing and sales stuff. But what we, what we learned over the over time was, it’s one thing to grow your top line revenue. It’s a very different thing to have your bottom line take home pay bank account, and more importantly, totally your time and the sense of control and the freedom that you actually feel in the business. I mean, you, you and I both know this, I’m sure a lot of listeners are hearing this, it is crazy how many people get to a certain revenue mark in their business. Seven figures is a real, is a real common one. People think, man, I’m gonna get to that seven figure mark and now, you know, think I’m gonna have, there’s this sense of what they’re going to have in terms of bottom line, take home pay, time, freedom, control. Mm-Hmm. . And almost invariably they get to that point and they’re like, whoa. Well, I guess I just gotta, you know, I don’t have all those things, so I guess I just gotta make it to 2 million, 3 million, 4 million. And, and the pattern is that what people think they’re going to get in terms of profit, take home pay freedom. It’s, it just keeps moving out further and further. And at some point you gotta ask yourself, why is that? Well, it’s because of the chaos.
RV (06:04):
Yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s funny, I, I love the pivot that you guys made from Infusionsoft is marketing automation to keep, is business automation. ’cause That really is true about us. Like, even our stories, like we are not, honestly, we, we’ve never really been the best marketers in the world. Like we’ve never had millions of followers. We’ve just made millions of dollars. Mm-Hmm. in revenue and profit. Mm-Hmm. . And, and I think a huge part of that was because we saw the light early of how to take the, the power of keep and automate, not the just the marketing, but automate all the operations. And if you don’t, you know, if, if you just think about it for a second, you go, man, if you automate just your marketing and you really grow all your revenue, but the rest of your business processes are a mess, you literally are going to add more chaos.
RV (06:58):
Like, you’re just Right. You’re the, you’re adding more customers, more disorganization, more problems, more complexity, more challenges. It’s like you really need to have the backend tight and, and, and cleaned up. So I love where you guys made that pivot from marketing automation as Infusionsoft to business automation is key. ’cause It really is, I think your, your, your bread and butter now, you talk about six keys in the book. Okay. Yeah. So, so, so conquer the chaos. WW walk us through a couple of those. Yeah. Because I, I think, you know, to me your message is really clear, how do I conquer chaos and achieve freedom through business automation? Right. Right.
CM (07:45):
That’s it in a nutshell. Yep. So, so
RV (07:47):
Walk us through then, like kind of the six, you know, kind of keys of, of how to actually execute that.
CM (07:53):
Yeah, you bet. The, the keys are actually, so the, the book is Conquer Cast, the Six Keys to Success for Entrepreneurs. And the first three keys are actually personal. And the second three are business with automation being, you know, the crucial show. You know, kind of the crux of it. But the reason I wrote it that way is because after more than two decades of working with entrepreneurs very closely and seeing, seeing what their lives look like as they, and
RV (08:16):
How many customers have you guys had?
CM (08:18):
We, we’ve got over 200,000 users of our software. We’ve got over 20,000 businesses using the software. And over the years we’ve probably worked with 50,000, you know, so, so we’ve
RV (08:29):
Worked 50,000 entrepreneurs. Like you, when you say I’ve worked with entrepreneurs, it’s not like, oh, I’ve spent time around a couple of ’em. Like it’s
CM (08:35):
No, and it’s working closely with them, seeing very closely their business, getting to know them. I mean, the number of mastermind groups and, and conferences and coaching, coaching meetings. I mean, you, I’ve, I’ve worked so closely with entrepreneurs and what I see over and over and over is something that just compelled me to write the personal part of the book. Because what I see is the business becomes so dominant that, that their, their lives get out of whack. And they, over time, they subtly and gradually make trade-offs in favor of the business that cost them what they care about the most in the end. And so, you know, when you see people’s financial family health, you know, when you see those things really melt down and, and some of the most, you know, very, very well known entrepreneurs that, you know, I, you know, people would know if I said their names and I see them closely, and I see them as clients and friends, and, and then I see it over and over and over with small businesses everywhere.
CM (09:38):
And I’ve, I’ve experienced it, I call it the dark side of entrepreneurship. And it is that it’s not just the, the, the struggles of entrepreneurship, it’s actually also when the business is very successful and the way that it dominates the life of the individual. So the first three keys are the personal keys, and they are actually about conquering the chaos inside getting your, getting your per getting personal life. Right. Because when I say the six keys to success for entrepreneurs, I define success right at the beginning of the book, let’s get on the same page what we mean by, by entrepreneurial success. And I say it’s balanced growth in your business and personal life that produces freedom. And if you’re, if you don’t get that balanced part, right you know, I’ve seen a lot of people who are really excited about their business goals and achieving them, and, and then they end up having great regrets. And I just think that’s a travesty. And I don’t , you know, I don’t wanna see entrepreneurs do that. So, so, and
RV (10:30):
I think, I think a really good point that people probably don’t realize is that even if your business is successful, it can be a catalyst for your personal life failing. Yes. Like, I don’t, I don’t think people equate that. Right. So just to sort of underscore that point is to go, man, it’s hard to make a business successful. And even if you pull that off, like it could, that it could, it could work against you in your personal life and, and they don’t have to though.
CM (11:00):
That’s right. If you’re intentional about it and you set it up. So the three, the three, the first three keys are personal and it’s mindset, vision for your life and rhythm of execution, mindset, vision, rhythm. When you put the, when you get the mindset right from the beginning, get the vision straight. Now the business fits into your life vision. I’m not talking about the business vision here. I’m talking about the life vision. Now the business fits into the vision. And then a, you know, how do you execute that in a way that works for your business, your life, your, your personal life in all areas? So that’s, I feel very passionate about that because I’ve spent so much time working with entrepreneurs and seeing the pitfalls of it and experience it personally, real, you know, recognizing and kind of flirting with that dark side and understanding how challenging that can be.
CM (11:42):
And when you get the, the business keys, right? The business keys are strategy, automation, and leadership. When you get the business keys right, it dramatically improves the personal side and fuels your life vision. And when you get the life vision right, and you have your rhythm of execution going, it dramatically improves your business so that you’re not getting burned out, overwhelmed, redlining at work. So that’s, those are the six keys. You know, the, you said it really well. The, the summary of it though is how do you go from chaos to freedom through automation? And, you know, I I start with the personal side to make sure we’re not automating and making a business successful that doesn’t fit into the bigger picture of the entrepreneur’s life.
RV (12:20):
Yeah. Well, and I, I mean, I, you know, I, I can appreciate, ’cause you know, you’re the CEO of, of, of, of, of a, a company that sells automation software, which by the way, I am on the board of, you all should know that. Right? So this is, this is something that I, I have joined the board of, and I’m, I am a proud member of it, and I feel honored and lucky to, to, to be a part of it because I do believe in it. But I really appreciate that you don’t just go like, oh, automation is the only thing. Like the book’s not about automation. It’s going no, there’s the mindset, there’s the whole personal life, there’s strategy leadership. Like, and, and also, you know, there’s other, like, there’s other parts of this, and I think sometimes people, sometimes people probably errantly go, Ooh, I bought the automation tool, now my business is just gonna work on magic.
RV (13:05):
And it’s like, no, like, get the strategy right. Like , like, there’s a little more to it. You can’t just buy the tool, like right. You, you gotta get your mindset right, and you gotta have your thinking. I mean, really, I think what’s powerful about Keap is that if you have clear thinking and you have clear processes, it gives you a way to put automation in place. If you’re That’s right. If your thinking is chaotic and your processes are chaotic, like you have to do that work first. You can’t just automate a pi a pile of mess. Would you be open to telling us the story about when you almost left Keap Sure. What your wife said to you? I, I, you, you know, talking about the dark side of entrepreneurship, but I probably, I probably should have asked you this before your permission, but keep, you know, Infusionsoft made a really big run and came really hard and f basically invented a whole space. Yep. But you guys have had your own, you know, sort of challenges over, you know, some, a se you’ve had a season of challenges and there was a, you told me a story about your wife and you actually thinking about leaving the company. Are you open to, would you share that here?
CM (14:17):
You bet. Well, there was the early days when you know, the, when, when we were just trying to get the business going. And then there was a season where I, I I talk about the dark side, where we had kinda lost control investors, board members, you know, lot, lots of things had happened and I was considering leaving at that point. So, which, which of those two do you want me to tell is
RV (14:37):
That Well, I, I, I want, I want, it could be the, it could be the first one too, but, but I wanted, the startup story is powerful, but it’s, it’s really the second one that I, I, I wanted to hear because, and this is to to you, to the thing you said earlier. You guys were very successful. You were very big. You brought on, you know, a lot of money from really smart people and, and you had a lot of things going. And even then you had a challenging season. And when you were, you were, you were thinking about leaving the company and your wife said something to you, and it always stuck with me. And I’m going like, oh my gosh, every entrepreneur needs to hear, hear this story. ’cause I, I think what she said was so wise.
CM (15:17):
Yeah. So here’s, here’s what happened. I’ll give the, the, the background for people to understand. And those who know Infusionsoft and know keep may, may appreciate this, but you know, we built Infusionsoft as the leader in marketing automation, and we got to a point where we, we really wanted to go down market. You know, we heard, we heard the cries of Confusionsoft from people who, you know, like, oh, it’s too complicated for me. And a lot of that came from solopreneurs. You know, 90% of the small business market is solopreneurs who they really don’t have the problem of chaos the way that we solve it. You know, they don’t, they don’t have a lot going on yet where things are slipping through the cracks. Instead, they’re trying to kind of figure out, well, what should their marketing be? And they’re trying to figure out who, who is their customer?
CM (16:00):
What is their offering? And that’s a different thing. If you don’t, you don’t necessarily need automation when you don’t yet have a business that’s bringing in customers. So we mistakenly tried to go down market to appease those folks. Now, by the way, in all, in all fairness, we also needed to do some things to simplify the user experience of our software. And we’ve done that. And, you know, that that was a, a, that was the fruitful part of what we did. But the, the, the not so fruitful part of what we did is we tried to go down market to serve those solopreneurs, and it really hurt the business. We were really struggling like crazy. And so we, we tried to bring in some people from the outside that could help lead, lead the, the operations. These were, you know, smart Silicon Valley folks, and the board became enamored with them. And shoot, I was too initially. And, and after some time I recognized, well, this isn’t working. And the board said, no, no, no, let them keep doing their thing. And I became sort of a figurehead of the company, but the whole company was being operated by the COO and I wasn’t allowed to make any changes. And it was incredibly frustrating. And it went on for almost four years.
RV (17:09):
Wow. Because this is your baby. This is your blood sweat. Yeah. You bootstrapped it. I mean, you guys bootstrapped like the first seven, 8 million in revenue, right?
CM (17:16):
That’s exactly right. Bootstrapped seven or 8 million. Then we brought on investors and, and I, and I appreciate, you know, I appreciate the investors and I appreciate all the learnings and, but we got to a point where I was very, very frustrated and, and frankly, you know, just to be candid, I was bitter and I was angry, and I wasn’t taking accountability for where we were. I was, I was pretty upset. And about three years into that ordeal I told Charise, I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t, I I can’t keep doing this, watching the company struggle like crazy and not being able to do what I think needs to be done, and I’m just done. And she said, you know, and I was, and I was angry with the board. I was angry with the, the, the new management team that had come in and she said, look, if you wanna quit, quit, but don’t do it when you’re mad. And I, boom,
RV (18:09):
There,
CM (18:10):
,
RV (18:10):
Boom. I mean, that is a, that is a wisdom bomb right there. You can say it again. Say it again.
CM (18:19):
If you wanna quit, quit. But don’t do it when you’re mad.
RV (18:22):
Oh, man, that’s so good.
CM (18:24):
And what it did, was it, you know, I, the, the, the funny thing was, I, I kind of, and I’d been, I’d been kind of living in this place where half the time I felt like quitting and half the time I was being threatened to be fired by the board. And so it was just such a tricky place to be. It’s so hard to describe it. But what happened when she said that to me was that I began to really be conscious of how I was showing up and how, you know, how my, how my emotions about the situation were affecting things. And then I went to work on that, and I went and I started working with my coach again. And he helped me see my part in the whole situation and helped me to take accountability for things. He helped me to be grateful, you know, because most situ, and, and I, I, when he first said, you gotta get, you gotta start, get, becoming more grateful for your board.
CM (19:15):
Mm-Hmm. And I looked at him like, are you freaking kidding me? Like, do you realize what I’m going through ? And he was like, no, usually you would get fired. And so the fact that you haven’t, yeah, the fact that you have an opportunity still to be a part of this company that you love, you should be grateful. So I started feeling my heart with gratitude. And then the last part was I started really humbling myself. And those, those three characteristics I’ve learned are, they are magic. When we get into problems, those characteristics are accountability, gratitude, and humility. Mm-Hmm. . And when we start to embrace those things, because entrepreneurs get into these cycles. We all do this, this happens, it happens in our lives, happens in our businesses. But those were, those were the things that helped us to then get the business on track. I got, I got, I was able to regain control of the day-to-Day operations. We started to reposition the business on the right customer and getting us to business automation. But all of that started with a comment from Cherise that got me to look in the mirror and start working on humility, gratitude and accountability.
RV (20:23):
I mean, that’s just so good. I mean, that’s when you go like, man, you know, God, God put a strong, faithful, wise woman in your life. And, and I think that’s the other thing is like, people don’t realize, like to this conversation, it’s like your personal life and your, and your own mindset. Like to, to the chapter, the, the first of your six keys, like your mindset, it matters. It matters tremendously. Yes. I want to ask you a little bit about rhythm. Okay. Because to me, automation sort of naturally follows rhythm. Yeah. If it’s like, if, if I can figure out a rhythm, then I can automate it, and then it’s like, then it’s magic. ’cause Now, now there’s a tool in place. Yeah. How do you, how do you find your rhythm? Especially when it’s like, you know, it’s clunky in the early years, it’s totally clunky. And, and then, I mean, you got six, six kids, is it six,
CM (21:17):
Six kids and six, six grandkids.
RV (21:19):
I mean, you got six kids, six grandkids. You’re like build, building this company. Like you’re also building, you’re a personal brand and writing books and stuff. You go, how do you find that rhythm in both the business and your personal life?
CM (21:33):
Yeah. You know what this is, this is one of the things that I’m most passionate about because I discovered it on the bus, on the business side first. And we, you know, if you’re familiar with the concepts in mastering the Rockefeller habits that Vern Harnish, Vern Harnish teaches some of the other some of the other great thought leaders that helped us learn these things were people like Jim Collins e even some of the things from Michael Gerber early on, we, we, we basically used a number of different consultants and thought leaders to create a rhythm of how we set our strategy and execute our strategy in the business. And in, in a nutshell, it was getting the, the strategy plan clear, and then having a daily, monthly, weekly, quarterly, annual, three year long-term approach. So you get the long-term vision, and then you work it all the way back to where what you’re doing each day ladders into your goals for the long-term.
CM (22:33):
And we, we started doing that 20 years ago you know, from near like like in year one of the business. And I loved it. And then I started learning some similar principles on the personal side and began doing coaching with, with personal coaches Dan Sullivan at Strategic Coach devouring all kinds of things from different people like like Michael Hyatt and others that you, that, that speak and teach on this stuff. And I started to put a personal rhythm in place that sort of mirrored my business rhythm. And, and as I began to execute that many years ago, I found that it was, it was magic, you know, especially for entrepreneurs who tend to be a little A DHD, if you don’t create some kind of a rhythm, it can become, you know, just the game of the latest distraction, you know, this shiny object.
CM (23:28):
And so getting that rhythm in place. But, but the real art of it though, and the reason why I call it the rhythm of execution, is that it’s not a rut. It’s not a fixed routine. Sometimes those, those words can get, get, you know, routine can get used interchangeably, but rhythm has, it’s got magic to it. It’s got, it’s got art to it, it’s got joy to it. And so the rhythm of execution is about setting up your life vision and then executing it to a, a, a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annual long-term sort of execution cadence. But it’s not rote. It’s not it’s not you know, if you just turn it into complete ha habitual autopilot, that doesn’t quite work. So rhythm is the right way to think of it. And you know, in a nutshell, I have a very beautiful morning experience. You know, I call it my Morning mastery. And I have a weekly evaluation process and a quarterly retreat. And those three, I call those three things, the three, the three transformative habits. You look at any, any person’s morning routine, weekly evaluation, planning, intentionality approach, and a quarterly rhythm that connects their short term to their long term. You look at someone’s practices around those three things, and I believe it’s almost as good as a crystal ball to their future.
RV (24:51):
Man. I love it. I love it. Well, y’all, I, I, you know, this just a, a sample of clay. He’s, you could tell he’s such a brilliant guy, and I, I’m, I’m so inspired by him and what he stands for, the way they run the company, obviously him and his personal life, and his wife. I’m a huge fan of his wife, even though we’ve never met just because, but because of her, her counsel. We’re gonna be telling y’all more about Instant Automation Toolkit. If you wanna, if you want to get a preview of that or you wanna learn about that, you can go to brand builders group.com/automation, brand builders group.com/automation. On, in terms of Clay’s book, the book is called Conquer the Chaos, right? Six Keys to Helping Entrepreneurs Succeed or, or, sorry, six keys to Success for Entrepreneurs. You got it. Is there anything else, you know, clay, that you would, would direct people or that you wanna leave people with?
CM (25:46):
Yeah, you can go to conquer the Chaos book.com, and there’s a bunch of free resources on there. And then obviously, you know, if you’re interested in getting through the chaos, the real trick is you’ve gotta understand your strategy behind it. And you can either do a consulting session, you know, with someone who can help you map your business and strategize and do that. You know, we do that at Keap, or in a better scenario, you work with someone like Rory who’s got the strategy all set up for you, and you can go implement that. That’s a, a, a better way than having to sort of recreate it yourself. So, you know, I love what you guys have created with Instant Automation Toolkit. I think it’s a great place for people to go to get resources to learn more about how to automate their business. And then the book conquer the cast book.com.
RV (26:32):
I love it. Well, clay man, thank you for what you do. I mean, it’s, it’s interesting to hear the hard parts of some of your, your story, and I think that’s so encouraging for all the entrepreneurs who are, are listening because look at, look at the difference that Clay has made, and his wife and his family, and the, the fact that they’ve been able to survive it, the tool that they’ve created in the world and their team, and all the sacrifices their team has made. And, and there’s tens of thousands of business owners like me and aj who have had our lives transformed by the sacrifices that they have made. And so, your work matters. Your small business matters, and it, it, it, it, it cascades and makes an impact in clay. That’s certainly true for you, man. So we love you. We’re praying for you. We believe in you. And thanks for being here. Thanks, Roy. Great to be with you.

Ep 509: 10 Books You Need to Read with AJ Vaden

AJV (00:02):
All right. This is a, a super sweet, quick highlight of what I would call my entrepreneur bookshelf. What are the 10 books that you should read if you are an entrepreneur or consider yourself an entrepreneur at heart, right? So you could be a solopreneur, small business owner indirect sales, real estate agent, whatever it is. But you have that entrepreneurial spirit about you. So here you go. Here are my top 10 picks for what I believe that you should know or that you should read if you are an entrepreneur to help you grow in your business. So, number one, these are in no particular order, the Psychology of Money by Morgan Hausel. Number two, nothing to prove by Jenny Allen. Number three, hidden Potential by Adam Grant. Number four, on reasonable hospitality Will Guidara one of my top three books of all time. Number five, extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin.
AJV (01:06):
Number six, the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. I would say this is one of the books that I would reread every single year, ’cause you need it that much. Number seven procrastinate on Purpose by the one and only my husband, Rory Vaden. It’s not in here because he’s my husband. It’s in here ’cause it’s that good. Number nine, buy Back Your Time by Dan Martel. And number 10, leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek. And I also have a, a bonus one for the Bookshelf, which is Take the Stairs also by Rory Vaden. And it didn’t make the top 10 because I’m calling it a bonus because I think it should be a mandatory read. Regardless if you’re an entrepreneur or not, take the stairs is universal in nature and should be read by every human being.
AJV (01:55):
It doesn’t matter if you’re 10 years old or a hundred years old, you’re in business or you’re a homemaker. It doesn’t matter. That’s universally important. It’s the only reason it wasn’t on my top 10 as an entrepreneur bookshelf. It would be on my top 10 for life. Everyone needs it. Now really quickly, why these top 10 books? There are, there’s three different themes on all of these books. The first theme is money. And if you’re an entrepreneur, that’s just something you’re gonna talk about. And I think learning both the tactical and financial side as well as the emotional side of money is a really important part of what we must do as business owners so that we can rule over the money and not let the money rule us, right? That’s the first theme in these books. The second theme in these books is time, right? So money and time, those are not in order, per se. Time is the only limited resource that we all have. We all have 60 minutes in an hour. We all have 60 seconds in a minute. We all only get 24 hours in a day. We all only get 365
AJV (02:58):
Days in a year. That’s not different for any of us. Money changes. Time does not. And so what are we gonna do with the time that we’ve been given? What are we gonna do with the time that we have with the, you know, I’m gonna call it nine hours that you work every day, 40 hours that you work every week. I know that’s not true for everybody, but, you know, status quo, what do you do with the time that you have? How do you make those decisions? How do you decide what is for you? What is not for you? What is a priority? What happens now? What happens later? And who gets it? Right? Who gets your time? That is why that is the second biggest theme in this. So you’ve got money and you’ve got time. And the third, I would say the third category is people, right?
AJV (03:40):
And that includes you. So the three categories we’re talking about in these, you know, 11 books are time, money, and people, and it’s people including yourself, right? How you view yourself as an entrepreneur, where you put your worth your identity. Where does that lie? As well as how do you cur curate culture with your team? How do you love your team? Well, how do you, how do you be unreasonably, unreasonably hospitable to your customers or prospective customers? How do you just love people really? Well? How do you build an an amazing team and cultivate culture and, and, and build strong team players and hire, recruit, retain? Like, how do you do all of this with people? Those are the three themes that I think every entrepreneur needs to learn, master and spend time in time, money and people. And those are the hearts and the themes behind each of these books that I just shared with you. So those are my top 10 books. And they all have to do with time, money, and people. So if you’re an entrepreneur or consider yourself an entrepreneurial spirit, these will resonate you. These, these books were built for you. So check ’em out, give ’em a read and let me know what you think.

Ep 508: My Entrepreneur Bookshelf with AJ Vaden

AJV (00:02):
Hey everybody, and welcome to a special summer edition of the Influential Personal Brand podcast, AJ Vaden here. And today we’re gonna be doing something a little bit different and unique. And instead of having a guest on the show, I am going to have a solo episode highlighting not just my summer reads, but what I would consider my top 10 books that you should read if you are in business for yourself. So, whether you call yourself an entrepreneur, solopreneur, a small business owner, perhaps you’re in direct sales, or you just want to aspire to grow into a, a time in your life where you are doing your own thing, or perhaps you just want to be better at being a leader or your own professional development, wherever it is. I am, I’m kind of calling this episode the Entrepreneur’s Bookshelf, and it’s not just for entrepreneurs, but really for someone who has that entrepreneurial mindset, that’s really who it’s for.
AJV (01:08):
It’s for the person who was looking to grow in business and in leadership. And a lot of this is widespread in Universal, regardless of what you do. But over the last 20 years, which it’s kind of hard to say that out loud, I cannot believe that I have actually been in business for 20 years. But there, there’s a collection of books, some oldies but goodies some newer ones, some that you will likely know, have heard of or even have read, and, and maybe a few that are brand new to you. And what I have found is that over the last 20 years, there are 10 books that stand out to me that I refer to constantly. I recommend constantly. And also it’s like even when I was going through all of my books, these are the ones that look more like workbooks than they did like books.
AJV (02:00):
These are the ones that had dozens and dozens of dog years highlights, stars, underlying circles notes. And even looking through my phone where I keep a lot of my like, kind of like recap notes these are the ones that stand out to me. These are the ones that I remember. They are memorable. I have used them, and some of them have transformed me as a person, as a leader, and some of them very uniquely and specifically have transformed how we do business at Brand Builders Group. So, without further ado I’m going to jump right in as a summer special edition of what I would consider the top 10 books that you should read or you should know about if you are an entrepreneur. And these are in no particular order. Some of them I have the hard copies and some of them I’m just going to have to refer to the audio book version that I did. But these are
AJV (02:59):
My top 10 and what I would consider books that you should read, that you should know about. Number one, it’s The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel. So if you’re watching this I’m holding a, a picture of the book. This is one of the ones that I actually read, not listened to. And one of the things that I love about going back through these is like, how much of them are highlighted and everything. And here’s what I would say of why I think this book is so important. It’s the subtitle is Timeless Lessons on Wealth, greed and Happiness. And what I love this what I love about this book is it is not about the tactical aspects of how to make money, save money, or invest money. It’s about the emotional side of money, of what grit does it have in your life, and how does that emotional side actually dictate how you make it, save it, and spend it and invest it.
AJV (03:59):
And what I love when I look back about this book and the particular lessons that it taught me is that nothing should be done in extremes, right? And I think a lot of times as entrepreneurs or business owners and or just as humans, we get all kinds of tips and information on, you know, how do you get rich fast? How do you make money while you sleep? How do you, you know, build a million or a hundred million or billion dollar empire with the least amount of work possible? And or the other thing that we hear all the time is, you know, work hard, save lots, retire early. And there’s just something to every single one of those sayings that I fundamentally don’t agree with, and I don’t believe in. I personally don’t for myself believe in retirement. I believe that way beyond retirement age that I will continue to work because one, I love it, but because I believe that there is purpose in what I do.
AJV (05:04):
And the whole concept of retirement is somewhat a phenomenon. And only really did it start to exist in the last, what, 75 years. Like prior to that, there was no such thing as retirement. And not saying that people should enjoy their golden years, but why not enjoy them with the utmost wisdom and the utmost life experiences. And it’s kind of like at the peak of our learning we look back and go, okay, we’ve done all this work, we’ve saved all this money, and now we’re, we’re going to leave the workforce. And it’s like you’re kind of at your peak opportunity to mentor people to share your wisdom. And this book isn’t just about retirement but it’s about the way that we make, save, spend and invest to get to this point of life where we are no longer contributing in a way that we have maximum potential to contribute.
AJV (06:03):
What I also love is the way that it talks about this concept of, of richness and, and wealth and redefining really what that is in terms of money, but more importantly outside of money. And that is really the heart. And why I love this book is that money clearly is necessary to live. And there’s nothing wrong with having it. There’s nothing wrong with spending it. But it cannot have a hold on your life. It cannot be the number one reason of why we make decisions. It it cannot be the ruler of our life. We have to rule over it not the other way around. And so the psychology of money really helped me let go of some of the false beliefs that I had about money and investing and spending and saving. Because it, it is a book about like all the things, it talks about investing and spending and saving and making.
AJV (07:00):
So don’t get me wrong, it is not anti any of that. But at the core, it’s making sure that the decisions we make when it comes to money are not making money King of our life over family, God or, you know, just even yourself, right? And I think that is why I think this is so important, knowing that money is a tool and it is not a ruler, it’s a tool and we have to rule over it. So psychology of Money, number one. Number two is Traction by Gina Wickman. And I would say this is a entrepreneur’s guide to getting organized in your business. The subtitle of this book is Get a Grip On Your Business. And here’s what I love, and this is definitely one of those books you can even like look at this if you can, if you’re watching this versus listening like every other page is dogeared.
AJV (07:56):
I’ve got bookmarks and every, and here’s what I would say about this, is this really outlines how to start the operational side of your business. And this is just kind of one of those things. This is the opposite of the psychology of money. This is extraordinarily tactical with lots of step one, two, and three. This is how you outline your meeting. This is how you do an org chart. These are how you do job descriptions. These are how you run your meetings. These are how you set goals. This is how you get the team on the same page. It’s extremely tactical, extremely framework oriented and it really works more like a, a workbook than it does a book. And it goes through financial strategy, marketing strategy, operational strategy. And I really do believe this is one of the fundamental things that has helped us in terms of operations at Brand Builders Group.
AJV (08:54):
I picked this book up probably six or seven years ago when I joined eo, which is the ENT Entrepreneurs Organization. And a ton of people follow EOS which is kind of like the guide tool of traction. But I really started putting it into place at Brain Builders Group about five years ago when I realized like we got a whole bunch of people running in different directions, and we all have different priorities, and there’s not an overarching priority of where is everyone running, right? And instead of having some people go left, some go right, some going forward, some going backward, it’s like we needed to pull all of that together so that everyone was running in the same direction. And we run hard and we run fast, but we were not running in the same direction, right? And it, it felt like you were like, you know, being drug between four horses being quartered.
AJV (09:47):
And when we started doing traction, not that it has worked perfectly, but it has given us a a format. It has given us a tool where we can all speak the same language. We all talk about rocks, right? We have quarterly rocks. We all decide on those together. We then subdivide them by department and role. And we know that once we make these decisions, and this is the most important part, if we all agree on the decisions we make together, then we know what always takes precedent, what always is a priority amongst the other priorities, right? And if you’re in a fast growing company or a startup per se, then everything can feel like a priority until you say, no, this is the priority. And everything else sub is subservient to this priority. And I think that’s one of the things that I will mention in my next book that I’m gonna talk about which is procrastinate on purpose.
AJV (10:45):
You cannot have priorities, you can only have priority, right? That’s singular. And that’s what I think traction really helps you do as a small business owner, as an entrepreneur, is go, what are the task, the priorities that make up the primary priority that we’re all running towards? And how does everything else fit in its place? How do we talk about it? How do we operationalize it? How do we have meetings about it? How do we get everyone on the same page? So it is a very tactical workbook for anyone who needs a little organization in their business, right? So Traction, Gino Wickman which would lead me to my third, which is Procrastinate on purpose. Shameless plug, this is my husband’s book, Rory Vaden. And it is similar to the Psychology of Money in terms of what so many so many time management books talk about are the, the tacticals and the tips and techniques, which I do have another book that we’re gonna talk about that talks about that when it comes to productivity and time management.
AJV (11:53):
But what I love about Rory’s book, procrastinate on Purpose, you know, five permissions to Multiply Your Time, is it’s about the emotional side of time management. And I, I love the psychology part, the emotional side of a lot of these books, because that’s usually what we’re not tapped into, right? We’re we’re being taught all these new technologies and all these tools and all these tips and these tricks, and to-do lists and schedules and apps and all the things. And at the end of the day, those things only work. They only work. Same thing with the money, books, psychology, money, like all the investing strategies only work once you understand the emotional drivers of how you spend your money in that book. But in this book, procrastinating on Purpose, it’s the emotional drivers of how you spend your time. And both of these book made my top 10 because time and money are pretty much most commonly talked about things in business.
AJV (12:52):
At least in our business. It’s what do we have time for and what do we have money for, right? It’s what do we wanna spend our time on? What do we wanna spend our money on? It’s where do we need to save time? Where do we need to save money? Where do we need to invest time? Where do we need to invest money? It’s time and money. Time and money are also the two most common objections in sales, right? Time and money show up everywhere. And that should tell us if it is everywhere personally and professionally, we need to invest adequate amounts of time and understanding both the, you know, tactical side, but just as importantly, the emotional side, right? There is a logic to money and time. There is an emotion component though, to time and money. And what I love about Rory’s book is one, he’s, he’s so gifted a god give and talent and consolidating lots of ideas and thoughts into simple processes and frameworks that visualize how things go together.
AJV (13:51):
And so his focus funnel is one of the most probably talked about things. He has a very widespread Ted talk called How to Multiply Your Time on this. If you wanna get the highlighted version, even though I do recommend reading the book. But the focus funnel is a simple way of processing where you need to spend time. And I’ll, I’ll go through it really quickly. It’s like, you know, step one, when a task comes onto my plate at the first decision I need to make is, can this be eliminated? Right? And if it can’t be eliminated, then can it be automated? And if it can’t be automated, then can it be delegated? Okay? And if it can’t be delegated, can it be procrastinated on or does it become a priority? Right? And a priority means it has to be done. Now, procrastinate means it does need to be done, it just doesn’t need to be done now.
AJV (14:45):
But just walking through all the tasks in my life of what are the things that I’m spending time on that I should not be spending time on one because it shouldn’t be done at all, but I’m doing it for some reason, or it needs to be done. But there is a system that can be, it can automate it, or it, it does need to be done and it can’t be automated, but there is someone else who can and should be doing it. And that’s probably where I struggle, right? I struggle from the, I can do it better syndrome, or I can do it faster syndrome. It’s the curse of knowledge because I’ve been in the business a long time. Many business owners have this. And the truth is that’s actually only true for a short amount of time because once someone else is hired and trained and efficient in it, they actually can do it better than you and faster than you because they do it more than you, right?
AJV (15:34):
But that does take time, money and energy resources to pull that off. But it’s all about investing time into something now that will give you more time later. And that is the heart and the essence of the book is helping you understand when you say the words, I don’t have time or I’m so busy understanding why, where does that come from? Because those are all choices that we are making. So what are the choices that are causing responses or feelings like that? And then what can we do about it? One of my favorite books of all time, not just because my husband wrote it, but because we all struggle with those two words. I’m busy. And this will help eliminate those from your vernacular. Maybe not immediately, but if you follow it, eventually, eventually those start to fade and going, it’s, no, I’m not busy.
AJV (16:29):
These are choices I made. This is a priority, or I’m gonna do something about it. Right? okay, moving right along. On the same kind of topic of time management, there’s Rory’s book, procrastinate on Purpose, which is more of the emotional side. That is more of our choices that we make and what do we do about that. But then there’s another book by Dan Martel, don’t have a copy of it to share to show a picture of, because it was an audio book for me, but it’s called Buy Back Your Time. And to me as an entrepreneur, this is one of the best tactical books of systems and processes of how to do things like automate and delegate and prioritize. This is so, so helpful. Buy back your time. If you are in a place where you are actually ready to start delegating where you can afford staff and you have the time and energy, or even if you don’t have the time and energy, but you can afford it, and you have to make the time and energy, it is an amazing tool of working with a team and getting things off of your plate and how to get it on their plates.
AJV (17:39):
And I’m not talking about just an executive assistant or chief of staff, even though it does go into great detail about finding the person, hiring the person, training the person, getting them up to speed, how to meet with them. I love it. I use it with my chief of staff. It is a very important tactical tool in how I run my personal and professional life. But also, more importantly, how do you just get your team members up to speed, right? And this is a really great book about operationalizing systems, specifically SOPs, right? And you should only have to teach something one time. Let me repeat that. Dan talks about how you should only have to teach something one time, because if you do it the right way, you only have to do it one time. And the right way isn’t training a person, it’s building a process.
AJV (18:22):
It’s documenting an SOP. And he gives an amazing formula of how to build SOPs that are quick, efficient, and what the people will actually use using video tutorials and keeping all of your SOPs two pages or shorter. That’s right, two pages. We actually have some SOPs that are 56 pages at Brand Builders Group, and we are working our tails off on how do we get those down to two or three pages with bullet points and video tutorials. And that is a huge part of, it’s one thing to spend all this time into building SOPs and training people, but if the people leave and nobody will use the SOPs, that was time wasted. So how do you get it right the first time? And you only have to train something once because when you train it, you’re actually building the SOP, you’re building the video tutorial, so you never have to do it again.
AJV (19:10):
Such an amazingly tactical book and how to buy your time back, right? And that is buying it back through processes and SOPs and also people, so people and processes buy back your time. Dan Martel, such a good book. All right. I am staying on this kind of time management train for a second because it’s not just that important to me. It’s that important to all of us. This next book is one of the most life changing and business changing books of my entire life, and is also by one of my favorite authors. And this book is called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, by John Mark Comer. And I have read almost every book he has written, but this was the first one. This is when I fell in love with his writing. And I fell in love with it because it changed my life.
AJV (20:00):
This is, this is a book that I can literally point back to and go based on the changes that I made in my life. I am a new and better person. I am a new and better mom, a new and better wife, a new and better leader, a new and better business owner. And I can also trace back the quarter that I read this book in 2022, which was Spring of 2022, quarter two. I read this book and had an epiphany that we were just doing too much. ’cause At the end of the day, a a hurry is a byproduct of being over committed, of trying to do too much. And I had this epiphany of I was feeling burnout and going, I don’t know if I can continue running at this speed. I, I don’t know if I have it in me.
AJV (20:49):
I don’t, I don’t know if I want to have it in me. And after reading this book, I sat down and created a brand new business plan for Brand Builders Group. This was four years after being in business. And we were addicted to saying Yes, yes, we can do that. Yes, we’ll figure that out. Yes, we’ll add that. Yes, we can try to do that for you. Yes, yes, yes. Because one, we love ideas. We’re little idea factories, but we also, we, we wanna be a place of innovation and change and listening to our customers. And we were really plagued with saying yes to every opportunity. And I rewrote a business plan for Brand Builders Group and the business plan, including cutting half of our offerings. And that was scary. It included changing our pricing structure, how we priced it, what we offered how we did things. And we went from seven service offerings down to three in the matter of three months. And over the next year, we doubled our business.
AJV (21:59):
Not only did our business double in terms of revenue, but our business actually doubled in terms of client count and employee size. And that was pretty extreme growth for us. ’cause We were experiencing 10% growth, 15% growth year over year. And from 2022 to 2023, we doubled in business, doubled in size, both clients employees and in revenue. And I can trace, trace that change back to implementing some of the things that were ahas for me from reading this book. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, of How More is not better always. There is not this incessant need of always doing more, but there needs to be an incessant need of always doing better, right? Better is better, not more is better. And I’m not saying less is better. In this case, less was better. It was better for us. ’cause It allowed us to focus in on our expertise, focus in on our avatar, focus in on our service offerings and double down.
AJV (23:03):
But what it really allowed us to do is by doing less, we were allowed to do those things exceptionally better, right? And that’s what it’s about. It’s not about doing more or less per se, but it’s about choosing less so you can do it better and have it be more enjoyable and less stressful, and actually enjoy the other components of life and business. And that all stemmed from the ruthless elimination of Hurry. And I was, I was ruthless in 2022 about removing stress, anxiety, busyness, and hurry from my life. It’s probably one of the books I need to go back and read at the beginning of every year. This is, this is a reread. Like I would say this is one of those books that I would encourage a, a read every year because these are the things that we forget so often and we get caught up in the rat race once again.
AJV (23:56):
But this is one of the most impactful and significant books of my life. The Ruthless Elimination of Harry by John Mark Comer. So if that is not a testimonial, I don’t know what is. Okay, next books are kind of taking a slightly different turn. Talked about money, talked about time and now we’re gonna talk about some other things that I think are really important. So I’ll start with leadership, right? Clearly it’s an entrepreneur bookshelf. We should have that. This is one of my favorite books on leadership. It’s Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek. I love this. It’s like the subtitle is why some teams pull together and others don’t. And this is an oldie. I probably read this 15 years ago, but still reference it, remember it. And you know, what I remember the most is the actual title.
AJV (24:51):
And I remember shortly after reading this book my, the first company that I was a part of went on an incentive trip. This is not Brand Builders Group, this was pre-and Builders Group. And we went to Belize and I was the part of the executive team organizing this trip for our top producers. And we just happened to go to Belize during this tropical storm . It was great timing. And I was at the checkout desk and I was making sure everyone had got, everyone else got checked in, and it was a small boutique hotel. We had pretty much reserved 50% of the rooms in this little boutique hotel on the island. And one of our top producers was checking in. And I had already checked in, and I had a king bed with my husband, Roy Vaden, who was also a business partner there.
AJV (25:39):
And I heard them tell this top producer of ours who is, you know, a guest on the trip, Hey, we are out of King Beds. Not the most convenient thing to hear as you’re checking in with your wife. We only have two double beds left. And I just saw the look that they had on each other’s faces. And I am not the hero of this story. The book is the hero of this story. And I remember reading this book and going, leaders Eat Last. And in that particular case, what it meant is leaders get the two double beds, the team gets the king bed. And I walked up and I just said, Hey, can you please swap our rooms? And it wasn’t a big deal to me at the time. It really wasn’t. It was a, a conscious decision to go, you first, me last.
AJV (26:33):
And it was a conscious decision to go, I will be the first one to step forward. And I’m gonna, I’m gonna take the bullet on this one. We can manage four nights and two double beds so that you can enjoy a trip that you earned. And again, I am not the hero in the, in the story of the book is. But doing that, what it did for the producer was probably one of the most impactful things in my life that I didn’t even expect of the gratitude and the, the, the loyalty and the thankfulness of going, you didn’t have to do that. It’s like, yeah, but I did because I, I chose to be the leader. Here I am choosing to raise my hand first to forge into battle first, to take the first risk. And that’s what you’re doing as an entrepreneur, right?
AJV (27:22):
I actually, I, I love, like on the back it says, leaders are the ones who run headfirst into the unknown. They are the ones to rush into the danger. They put their own interests aside to protect the team or to pull us into the future. Leaders would soon sacrifice what is theirs to save, what is ours. And they would never sacrifice what is ours to save what is theirs. That is what it means to be a leader. It means to choose first to go into danger headfirst into the unknown, right? And that’s just on the back of the book, right? Like, like who’s not inspired to read that? A little bit of okay, what, what does it really mean to be a leader? And in this regard, it’s, it’s choosing to put others first. And how do you do that, right? How do you do that in business?
AJV (28:09):
How do you do that in your team when there is a, a, a self-centered self nature to all of us? I, I promise you it was not my heart’s desire to give up that king bed on that trip. And at the same time, it wasn’t also the ultimate sacrifice, right? It, it was a choice of going, no, I made the decision to step into this leadership role. So I have to make the choice to also put others first. That’s what I’m choosing as a leader. And I can think of countless other times through my life, even though I may not remember all the words on the pages of this book, however, like many others, it’s dogeared throughout. And I still have bookmarks highlighting the pages that I refer back to constantly. What it, what it really is, is the reminder that as a leader, I am choosing last, I am choosing to put the team first.
AJV (29:03):
I am choosing to put others ahead of me. I’m choosing to serve them above myself, right? And not serve anyone person over the whole, that’s not what I’m saying. It actually talks a lot about that. But what are the, the micro decisions we can make every day? And what are the macro decisions that we can make that affect a whole lifespan of a business or a team or a person? And I think that’s why I love this book, and I can just, I, I, I think I probably even said, remember, leaders eat last hundreds of times over the last 15 years. And without any explanation, the team gets it, right? Other leaders get it. They’re like, yes, I understand this is a decision I made, I step into this. But reading this book helps you understand what are those micro decisions to make?
AJV (29:54):
How do you step into it and how do you do it on a daily basis, but also on a, a much larger scale. So one of my favorite leadership books, leaders Eat Last Simon Sinek. I could go on and on about it. All right, in that same vein, I know, right? I’m, I’m trying to make up some time here. Another one that I would, I would, I would call this for me, a leadership book, extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Le Babin. And I don’t have a physical copy because it was an audio book. And if you have read the book and haven’t listened to the audio, I would highly encourage you to do that, because I think the storytelling component of Jocko and Le and this book is so powerful, and it’s kind of like a, an audio page turner.
AJV (30:38):
Like, I remember going like, okay, I need to go on a walk, or, or I need to go on a drive so I can put this in and listen to it. It, it’s one of those things that it’s just really enjoyable to listen to the storytelling components of it, the emotional side. So, hey, wife, if you haven’t listened to it, highly encouraged, but Extreme Ownership was actually a mandatory read two years ago at Brand Builders Group. Every quarter we put a book that the entire company reads together. And Q1 of 2023 was a mandatory read of extreme ownership. And it was one of the best decisions that we ever made as a, as a company to go. One, we’re going to read books together, mandatory. And two, this book. And I think one of the things that I love about this book is, well, one, I do have mad respect for our military and Navy Seals and the stories and the lessons of leadership that come out of that.
AJV (31:35):
Because like, when I think about my daily battles in leadership, they are microscopic to the significance of the ones that these people are making in our military. And just, it puts it in perspective of when I’m stressed out about a formula on a spreadsheet of the stress that carries, and knowing that you carry someone’s life in your hands, a true life or death. And it’s a really good book on perspective of what we call stress and anxiety and where we worry in the scheme of things, right? And it’s been a great reminder to me of like, this is not a life and death situation, aj, it is okay if there was a, a, a spelling error on the PowerPoint, chill out. And at the same time, knowing that there is a power and ownership of stepping in and as a, as a leader, right?
AJV (32:31):
This is a leadership book of going, at the end of the day, someone’s gotta own it. And I’m not saying that as the entrepreneur, you own all of it, but at the end of the day you’re the business owner. It comes to you, right? You own the discipline of your team. You own the structure and the operational excellence. You own it by creating a culture of ownership. And I think this is a pH phenomenal book, both in storytelling and anecdotes and stories and examples, but also the emotional and the tactical side, which I really love. There are lots of strategic components to this paired with real life stories and examples both military speaking, but also business case studies. And I think it’s a really powerful thing to step into any business of going the end of the day, whether we succeed or fail, I’m gonna own it.
AJV (33:26):
And again, that’s for everyone in the company to have that attitude. It’s going, Hey, if this didn’t go right, I own the mistake. And if it did, I get a part of owning some of the win. Not all of it. ’cause You know, it never happens alone. But also having someone who steps in and who can quickly go, my bad, that was my mistake. I won’t have, I won’t make it again. It won’t happen again. Versus the person who’s going to, you know, pass blame, not own it, not tell, try to cover it up. This is about transparency. This is about teamwork. This is about honesty, integrity, and it’s about ownership of how do we, how do we create ownership in a task, in a project so that no one is looking around going, so who’s to blame here? And instead, everyone is going like, my part, my part got done.
AJV (34:19):
But at the end of the day, what matters most is did the thing get done? And that’s what I would recommend about this book. If you feel like you have a team where people are going, Hey, I did my part, but yet somehow the whole project didn’t get done, then we gotta, we got an ownership problem because someone’s gotta own all pieces of it. And that’s where I think teams really come together or fall apart, is for the person going, oh, no, I did my part Uhuh, that was not my department. That was not my role of going. We need a team of going, it didn’t have to be my job. I ensured it got done. It didn’t have to be my department. I’m gonna be a part of making sure it gets done right. And that’s what I love about Extreme ownership. So extreme Ownership, Jocko Willink and Le Babin, amazing book.
AJV (34:59):
And I think just really important on a cultural standpoint of do you have a team who comes together and gets stuff done, or does it fall apart? And the projects linger and deadlines extend. And if that’s it, you got an ownership problem. And this is a great book to read in that vein. Now, on that note, there’s another audio book that I love. This is a new read. I actually just read this book this year in 2024. It’s called Hidden Potential by Adam Grant. And one, i, I would say it is also to me in the leadership vein because it’s about seeking and searching for the potential within your team, right? And I actually am gonna pull up some of the quick notes that I took on this. And just to kind of give you some highlights of what I love what one person can learn proves that almost anyone can learn it if provided with the right learning opportunities and environment, right?
AJV (36:03):
And I think that’s kind of the first thing. It’s like what one person can learn proves that almost anyone can learn that too, if provided with the right learning opportunities and environment. And I think therein lies the heart of hidden potential of going, they may not believe it, you may not believe it, but if somebody else has done it, then someone else can do it. But the opportunity and the environment have to be structured in a way that allows that potential to emerge. And a part of our job as leaders is to provide those opportunities and environment, right? And I, I love that as I look at my team here at Brand Builders Group of going like, where are there opportunities of hidden potential in every single person and every role in every department? And where am I not providing the right opportunities for those things to emerge?
AJV (36:54):
And maybe that opportunity is an invitation. Maybe it’s training maybe it’s a conversation, whatever it may be, but it has opened my eyes to seeing our team and the roles we have and the gaps we have in completely new, in different ways. The second thing I would just say this is I think really important in general for someone like me who’s a little bit type A high D likes to get things done, eight on the Enneagram this is a really important one for me, is potential is not about where you start, but how far you travel. And that’s one of the things that I’ve looked back and I’m going, wow. It, it’s, it’s not about where we started, it’s about how far we’ve come. And if someone can go, you know, completely from, you know, left to right in terms of growth and change, it’s like there is potential of going, there is more to be done, right?
AJV (37:53):
And looking at the span of what people have overcome, have learned that is an enormous thing that I now pay attention to in interviews of what were they able to overcome, how far have they come from where they started? And that shows so much about work ethic and personal growth and determination and endurance and perseverance. And those are things, those are the things that I wanna build a team around, right? I also loved this whole thing. It’s like, if you’re comfortable, you’re doing it wrong to Ted Lasso quote and Hidden Potential. And I love that, and I love that as a reminder for me, for my own hidden potential. And I think one of the reasons I loved Hidden Potential so much is it wasn’t about just our team, it was about me too. It’s like, where am I comfortable? Like, where do I still have potential to grow, change and evolve as a human, as a leader, as a business owner, as a mom, as wife?
AJV (38:55):
And so Adam Grant Hidden Potential, I think this is also in line with a, it’s a, it’s a people book. It’s a leadership book. It’s about looking for intentionally and finding ways to see the hidden potential all around you and the people on your team and the people that you’re interviewing. And I think this is about exploration into how do we help people tap into what they were meant to become. And just because they aren’t, that doesn’t mean they can’t be that. And just kind of going back to that first thing, it’s like what one person has learned proves that almost anyone can learn it, provided that we create, and that there is, you know, a created opportunity and environment that allows for it. So what can we do to cultivate such an environment? I love the book. I thought it was so good.
AJV (39:44):
Okay, moving right along here, unreasonable Hospitality. This is also a newer read for me, unreasonable Hospitality, will Gera is now on my permanent, probably top three books of all time that I’ve ever read. And I would also encourage if you do listen to audio to read this, because I think Will is an amazing storyteller, and he’s so animated and it, the whole thing feels like an adventure. It, it feels like you’re on this journey with him. From, you know, being a restaurateur to having the top rated restaurant in the entire world 11 Madison Park, to building a team and building a culture and to be one of the top restaurateur and not be a chef, right? To be from the operation side. And knowing that like he actually did what he went to school for and had a passion for it as a young person.
AJV (40:41):
And then to make the decision to leave that for the betterment of the business and for the team. There is so much in here about creativity and a service and hospitality that I feel like has been lost and unreasonable. Hospitality is really, how do you love people? Well, how do you love your team? Well, how do you love your customers? Well how do you just love people? And in this particular book, it’s through the Art of hospitality, of making people feel welcome and cared for, paying attention to the little details. And they don’t have to be expensive. But they do need to be personal. They need to be curated and unique so that people don’t feel like they’re a, a number, they feel like a person. And, and also providing your team with just enough opportunity to make decisions on their own, right?
AJV (41:41):
Nothing that’s gonna financially break the bank, right? We all have to have ownership back to extreme ownership of the health of, of the business, but also just enough, you know, bandwidth to be creative and unique, to do something on the spot. Or you don’t get caught up in a bunch of bureaucracy and red tape, and you, goodness, you can’t even buy someone a, a thank you card without getting higher approval. Right? And I think this is a beautiful story and a tangible book on how do you love people really well through hospitality, through gifting, through experiences, through words, through food, which I loved, right? Through food. But how do you care? How do you serve people and unique ways through the, the gift and the art of unreasonable hospitality unreasonable amounts sometimes to go. It is not always about a dollar.
AJV (42:37):
And I might lose on this one, but it’s worth it because I know that at some point it’ll come back. It you just love and serve people really well. That is the best marketing you can have, right? We say this all the time at Brand Builders Group, is that the best thing in the world is to turn your customer force into your sales force. How do you do that? You serve your customers undeniably well, and if you love them well and serve them well and provide for them well, they will become your sales force. And that is word of mouth marketing, right? That’s referral marketing. That is why 11 Madison Park had unbelievable reservation wait lists, . It was impossible to get into. And with the prices they charge, you would not think there was that many people, right? But that’s because it was experiential and it was, it was custom and unique.
AJV (43:29):
And also one of the things that got them to be rated one, not be one of the best, the best restaurant in the world. And I think Will’s story of creativity, of leadership, of culture is unfounded in this book through the Art of Loving People really Well, one of my favorite books of all time. This was also a mandatory read at Brand Builders Group. If that tells you anything unreasonable Hospitality Will Guera. So, so good. Okay. ninth book it’s called Nothing to Prove, Jenny Allen. And subtitle is why we Can’t Stop Trying So Hard. And out of all the books that I’ve recommended this is probably the one that is most personally associated because this book is really tailored, catered to the person who finds their worth in their work. And that was me. I, it, it’s still me.
AJV (44:28):
I, I’m overcoming this, right? But this was specifically designed for, I believe, entrepreneurs who find their identity into what they do. Or, you know, it could be the stay at home mom who finds her identity and her kids. And one day those kids grow up and leave. And as a mom, we look in the mirror and we go, who am I? And as entrepreneurs, sometimes we sell our businesses, we retire or the business doesn’t work out, and we look in the mirror and we go, who am I? Like if I don’t have this, who am I? And I know so many friends who have built wonderfully successful businesses that went on to have wonderful exits, only to find that they now felt lost, lonely, empty, and without purpose. And that happens when we have made our work, our identity, when we have found our worth and what we do versus who we are.
AJV (45:32):
And I love this book. This is author, the second book that I would say in my list that has radically changed my life. People will look back at me and be like, man, you’re, you’re different. You, you sound different. You seem different. Like your energy is different. And I will trace it back and go, if you think. So, it’s because of this book. Nothing To Prove by Jenny Allen. She’s also one of my favorite authors that I have gone on to read almost every other book that she has written. And it’s because I’m her avatar. I am the person who struggles with finding my worth and what I do, and my productivity and my accomplishments and my ambition. And I am the person who struggles with finding my identity in work. And that is a conscious thing that I’m working through to overcome.
AJV (46:20):
But if, if that is you, this book was written for you. It was written for your heart, it was written for your soul, and if you allow it to, it will change your life. So Jenny Allen, nothing to prove one of the most life changing books I’ve ever read. And it has changed the way I approach work and how and how I work, because now I know that is not who I am. That is not my worth. I’m so much more than that. And it is no longer my identity. My identity expands way beyond that. And even though we know that when you’re faced with it being gone it’s a whole different reality. And might as well be proactive. Let’s get ahead of that. And this is a book that will really help you do that.
AJV (47:07):
Nothing to prove. Okay? actually that was number 10. But I had a, I had a bonus one sitting over here, so I forgot. So those were my top 10 books. So I, psychology of Money, Morgan Housel, nothing to Prove Jenny Allen, hidden Potential. Adam Grant, unreasonable Hospitality Will Guera Extreme Ownership. Jocko Willink and Le Babin, the ruthless elimination of her. John Mark Comer, procrastinate on purpose. Mother of One and only Ry Vaden, my awesome husband. Buy Back Your Time, Dan Martel Traction. Gina Wickman and Leaders Eat Last Simon Sinek. And then I have an 11th bonus one. Because I, I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention take The Stairs but also my amazing husband, Rory Vaden. And this was his first book released in 2010. And here we are 14 years later, and this is still probably like the most requested keynote that he gets.
AJV (48:07):
This book has been out for 14 years. It’s still, it, it still, it, it’s, it’s a, it’s an evergreen classic of, you know, what are the things that you need to know about business and life and yourself to achieve true success? And defining what true success is. And take the Stairs is, it’s really a, a metaphor for just because you don’t want to doesn’t mean you should, right? And I think there’s a, a lot of truth in going, like, man, there are things that we don’t want to do, but they are good for us. And they produce character and endurance in ways that nothing else can. And it’s not that we should only want to do hard things, but it’s, it’s facing the challenges and facing the hard things are what build character. Nobody looks back on the easy days and go, man, that really defined me.
AJV (49:01):
That doesn’t happen. Nobody looks back on all the victories and successes and, and, and said, man, that, that success is what made me who I am today. We don’t do that. We actually look back and go, man, that valley that I was living in a really long time that defeat, that failure, that loss, that’s where I found my strength. That’s where I found who I am. And I think a lot of what I love about this book, take The Stairs, is it’s embracing hard things and it, it’s choosing to do things even when you don’t feel like doing them because you know they’re good for you, right? And it’s determining what those things are. How do you make those choices? That was my bonus pick for my entrepreneur bookshelf. Take the Stairs by Rory Baden, seven Steps to Achieving True Success. Y’all, there you go. This is our, my solo, summer solo episode, the Entrepreneur Bookshelf 10 books with a bonus, 11 of what I believe every entrepreneur should know and read and embrace to not only do work that you love but to actually do good in the world. So check ’em out, let me know what you think, catch you next time on the influential personal brand.

Ep 507: How to Generate Massive Warm Referrals | Jordan Montgomery Episode Recap

RV (00:04):
Let’s talk about how to generate massive, warm inbound referrals In your business. And we’re not gonna talk about it. I’m gonna teach you exactly how to do this, and I’m telling you, I’m gonna, I’m gonna tell You the secret of what I personally do that
RV (00:29):
Floods our Business regularly in a recurring fashion with massive warm referrals. And I can teach this to you in one sentence, and then I’m gonna share with You four Reasons for why you should do this beyond just getting warm, massive, warm referrals, even though that’s what we’re talking about here. Okay? So How do you do this? How do you generate Massive warm referrals inside of your business? It is simple. If you want to get
RV (01:06):
Referrals, you need to give referrals. That’s it. If you want to get referrals, you need to give referrals. You need to become an expert at giving referrals. You need to have great systems for giving referrals. You need to develop a heart for giving referrals. You need to develop a faith for giving referrals. If you want referrals, you have to become a master at giving referrals. And if you become a master at giving referrals, I promise, I promise you’ll get referrals in return. . And like, this is so simple, and so many people suck at this. So many people don’t do this. So many people do this wrong. So many people think, okay, God’s like the key to, you know, getting referrals is to be great at what you do. Well, that’s, that’s part of it. The key to, you know, getting referrals is to ask. Yeah, that’s an important part of it. But, but the real key, the real secret, the, the, the real magic formula, hidden potion to getting a lot of referrals is to give a lot of referrals. And if you can learn to do this, you will never have, like, you’ll have more leads than you can ever have time to follow up with. You’ll have to build a team to, to, to keep up with all
RV (02:38):
Of the leads that come into your business, mostly because you’ll be working all the warm leads and all of the normal leads that come in. It’s like you gotta have somebody to help you
RV (02:45):
Work, work Through those. And that’s like a big part of what becomes your team.
RV (02:50):
So that’s the Secret in one sentence. I’ve done this again and again. I’ve watched AJ do it again and again, I’ve seen the clients that do this in, in their life again and again. There’s, there’s people in my life that I, I am the recipient of, right? I, there, there’s a couple people here. I’ll, I’ll, I’ll give a couple shout outs. One, I will say Randy Garn is a, is a human that just focuses on giving referrals. And he seems to have, you know, no lack of referrals coming to him, and no lack of business coming to him. John Ruland is a, is a person in my life who loves to give referrals, and he seems to have no lack of influence and, and referrals and relationships coming to him. It is there, there, there’s so many others. There are so many others. We have so many clients, so many friends who have so generously give referrals to BBG.
RV (03:41):
And they get, you know, they, they are, they’re people. I look in their life and I go, yeah, sometimes. And here’s the thing you gotta know, is that when you give referrals, sometimes you get referrals back from that person, but sometimes the referrals you get are not back from that person. They come from somebody else. But it’s, it’s creating this abundance mentality, this abundance mindset, this abundance energy, this faith mindset, this faith mentality, this, this, this, this faith mindset that pours back into you. And you have to do this. And you go, man, if I really want to get good at getting referrals, you might need to flip a switch in your brain and go, why am I not getting more referrals? Right? Like, why am I not getting more referrals? If that’s you, like, if you look at your business and you go, I don’t think I really get that many referrals.
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I’m certainly not flooded with a massive number of warm referrals. And you go, then I would ask you to say the second question. How good are you at giving referrals? Because I’ve never met someone who is great at giving referrals, who doesn’t also sooner or later, eventually over time, have a flood of warm bound of, of warm inbound referrals. So you might be thinking about it wrong, right? You might be going, oh, I, I need to have better product or a more sharper system, or a, you know, something in terms of like, why don’t I get more referrals? Or you might think, oh, my clients don’t refer people. Of course they do. Everyone refers people like, we refer people that we like, and we, most of us prefer not. Most of us, all of us prefer to do business with people we know. We prefer to, to buy and sell and transact with people that we trust.
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And that happens through shared relationships. So what I wanna talk about is four reasons why. Beyond just getting more referrals per se. I wanna talk about four reasons why you should become a great giver of referrals for reasons why. Okay, first one, again, you probably overlooked this. Most people that I have this conversation with overlook this point. And yet this is a key point of getting referrals. And it’s a key reason to give referrals. One of the most amazing, beautiful byproducts of giving referrals is that you keep in touch with your past clients. You keep in touch with your past clients. When we say give refers referrals, who are you going to refer? You’re, you’re, you’re probably going to refer other vendors that can serve the people that you know, like, and trust. And if it’s inside your business, the people that you know, like and trust are the people you’re transacting with.
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It’s your clients and going, who can I introduce to my clients? That’s the mindset here is to go, okay, I have all these clients. A worthy referral from you is to someone who is, you know, a legitimate person, a legitimate buyer. Maybe they’re, maybe they’re a legitimate vendor. And you go, I need to think about who can I introduce to my clients and who can I introduce my clients to? What’s amazing about that, and this is the number one reason beyond just getting referrals about why you should become a great giver of referrals, is that keeps you in touch with all of your past clients. Like, the reason why I book so many people on podcasts and, you know, social media like lives and stages, you know, speakers and stuff, is not ’cause I’m in the business of that. I’m not in the business of that.
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We don’t get paid to do that. What the reason that I do that is because it keeps me in touch with past clients. I’m going, oh, you need to meet this person and you need to meet this person. Well, when I am constantly thinking about who can I introduce to my clients that would be helpful for my clients, whether it’s another vendor to them or if it is potentially introducing them as a vendor to somebody else, either way it keeps me in touch with my past clients. That is why you should do this. The second reason why you should give referrals and become a master at giving referrals is because it builds reciprocity. You may have heard this, that it’s called the Law of reciprocity, and I would argue emphatically that it is in fact the law of reciprocity. It is not the theory of reciprocity.
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If you give and support and help other people, it’s not that you might have other people give and support and help you back in return. It is a law. This, it is guaranteed to happen sometimes. It doesn’t always happen from the person you’re giving to, but it always happens. And often it does happen from the person you’re giving to. Almost always it happens, although it may not be in the same form, right? It’s like, I might give a business referral and they might, they might help me, you know, move my furniture when I move my house or something like that. So it’s not always the same currency, but it is always this balance of relationship equity that, that, that, that holds and maintains. It’s it, and it is a, it is a law. So you want to learn to proactively tip this scale in your favor.
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Now this Bible verse, I’m gonna share with you a Bible verse. Okay? This, this is a, a this is a, a Bible verse about tithing. Okay? So this is specifically about tithing, but it, it nails the attitude and the mindset here of reciprocity. So this Bible verse is Malachi three 10, I think. Make sure that I send that right? Yep. Malachi three 10. This is one of my favorite Bible verses. Okay? So this is from the Old Testament, and here’s what it says. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. The God of the universe is saying, test me in this.
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Now he’s specifically talking about tithing to him and saying, trust me with your money, trust me with your resources. That’s the tithe. The first 10th percent, which is what tithe means. It’s a 10th, right? The first 10th is give it back to the Lord and test me In this. There’s not very many things you know, the Lord says, test me in this. In fact, I can’t think of anything else where there’s a few things where I say, you know, do not test the Lord, but in this one, the Lord is saying, test me in this and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing. Now, this is true about giving in general, which is why I’m using this. Now, if you’re giving to another person, that person may not throw out the floodgates of heaven on you.
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They may not have the ability to, that they may not do that, but God will. You can’t outgive God. You can’t outgive the universe. It’s, it’s a law of, of nature. And, and the God of the universe who created the universe is saying just in giving money to him, saying, trust me as a, if you become a giver first, then I promise you’ll receive much more than your fair portion. And it, it, it is a measure of faith. And that’s one of the reasons why to do this is it, is it builds reciprocity, but specifically it strengthens your faith. When you are giving anything, you are learning to say you’re learning grace. Grace means giving without expectation of receipt, but it is giving. It is giving and trusting that it somehow some way will come back to you. That is a measure of faith.
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And if you can learn to do that with humans, men and women, if you can learn to do that with humans there, it will also then help you develop that relationship with the Lord. And if you can do that with the Lord, it will also help you learn and develop that relationship with humans. Now, humans are not perfectly just like the Lord is, but I think the Lord often fills those gaps and go, well, I’ve been given to so and so and I was taking care of them, and they didn’t really give me anything back, and maybe they couldn’t give anything back, but it shows up somehow. And, and it is, again, it’s the law of reciprocity. Third reason why I want you to become focused on being a master giver is it forces you to become systematic. A huge part of growing a business.
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Look, in, in, in my second book, procrastinating On Purpose, I said, no business can outgrow the strength of its systems. And I firmly believe that to be true today, as much as when I wrote it almost 10 years ago. Like, no business will ever outgrow the strength of its systems. A business is nothing other really than a product, a set of people and a set of processes or systems, right? It’s the three Ps. So you have to create great processes. Anything that forces you to create great processes is likely to force you to create a great business and in order to be a great giver, right? A a decent giver is someone who occasionally thinks of like, oh yeah, hey, I have a friend you should meet. But a great giver. A master giver develops systems like to systematically, proactively go, who can I introduce this person to?
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Who can I introduce this person to? Inside of our members or in our, in our membership portal. For those of you who are members, if you’re a brand builders group member, you know that I have a whole training called the relationship switchboard, and I show you the actual switchboard I use. It’s just a simple sheet where I track it’s a spreadsheet where across the columns are all like, you know, the media opportunities or the speaking opportunities, and then the rows are like people who are great guests or great potential speakers for that. And all I’m doing is tracking all of those connections and relationships. And so whenever I get a new client, I am systematically thinking, and this is a private client, right? I’m talking about someone who I am working with personally, and I’m going, okay, who can I introduce this person to that would be useful for them and who they could also be useful to?
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It’s systematic, right? Giving referrals to be a master giver requires you to be systematic, intentional, proactive, deliberate strategic. That’s what, if you become a master of this, it will force you to do that, which will also help force you to develop those skills and those character traits, which will help you in other parts of your business. And it will namely, help you with massive lead generation. So that is another reason to give referrals beyond just the fact that you’re gonna get ’em, is it’s gonna force you to be systematic. And then the fourth reason why I want you to become a master at giving referrals is because it reshapes your heart from a posture of self-centeredness to service centeredness.
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And I believe that that is a big part of the journey of mankind. I believe that that’s a big part of the challenge of our humanity. I believe that that’s a, is is one of the big trials of our lifetime. It is one of the biggest opportunities for growth. It is one of the biggest opportunities for personal development. It is one of the biggest calls on our life as, as, as Christians or just as good people, even if you’re not a Christian, is to go, can I mature from my childish, my childish, immature self-centered nature of only thinking about myself, wanting what is best for me, looking out for me? Can I at some point mature to being service centered, looking out for the needs of others, trying to provide for those around me, trying to make the world a better place for everyone, not just for me.
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That transformation from self-centeredness to service centeredness is one of the sources of great happiness and joy and purpose in your life. And learning to give referrals makes you a master of that. I don’t think it’s an accident. Again, to give you a Bible verse, this is an Acts chapter 20 verse 35. So this is in the New Testament. This is shortly after Jesus, you know, dies, resurrected, you know, appears, and then is ascends into heaven for the final time. Paul, in the Book of Acts, this is like all the disciples talking about what happens right after Jesus ascends into heaven and how the, the movement of Christianity begins. Paul quotes Jesus directly in Acts 20, verse 35, and he says, remembering the words, the Lord Jesus himself said, it is more blessed to give than to receive. It is more blessed to give than to receive.
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Again, this is a posture that’s worth pursuing. This is a journey of a personal development transcendence that I think is, is, is a, is worth taking. This is a, a trial worth triumphing over is the journey from self-centeredness to service centeredness. And being a master referrals forces you to go on that journey and to, and, and it, and it helps shape your heart. It shapes the posture of your heart and your character in a way that is healthy for you, even if you never get another business referral. So there you have at four reasons why, to become a master at giving referrals, even though and above and beyond the massive number of warm referrals that you will get. If you just do these things, go find someone and serve them. Be helpful to your past clients in a way more than just selling to them. Introduce them to useful people and stay plugged in here for more great inspiration and tips to hopefully help you in your journey.