RV (00:07): Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know the there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from Martin team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon. RV (00:54): Ah, I am so excited to introduce you to Lisa Bilyeu . So we’re newer friends, but y’all know that me and AJ, our business partners and AJ is our CEO and my wife and I have been business partners from the beginning. We started as business partners and then a year after we started dating and then we fell in love. And so I love and just admire when a couple can work together. And so Lisa and tom were the co-founders of a company called quest nutrition. And this company grew 57000% in three years. It was number two on the inc 5,000. And then in 2014, they sold it for a billion with a B so a billion dollars. I met Tom the very first time on my old podcast. I interviewed him right after he had the right after the exit. RV (01:50): Oh. And then him and Lisa started a brand that you’re probably familiar with. So they, they started impact theory studios. They host the impact theory podcast, the women of impact podcasts. They have over seven and a half million people who listen to this. Lisa has had over 20 million views on her YouTube channel. She’s got over a million followers on social and she has a new book that is called radical confidence. And I tell you, I was just flipping through, I got a, a release copy just recently. So I haven’t read it all the way through, but I was flipping through it. And this is like, it’s an kicking book from an kicking lady. And y’all know I don’t cus very often. So that’s, you know, that’s powerful. So anyways, Lisa, I’m so excited to have you and meet you. Welcome to the show. LB (02:38): Oh my God. R this is such a pleasure. Thanks so much for having me on. RV (02:42): So can you just like tell us your journey? You know, I like just in the little of what I see from a distance is like, you, you started out in your own words, you know, unfulfilled housewife like that was, and, and then there’s this big transformation you become an entrepreneur. Quest goes crazy. I mean, that’s like massive growth. And then you reinvent yourself with impact theory and women of impact. And now you’re an author. So like, can you just talk to us a little bit about why you wrote a book on confidence and how that’s like tied into that whole journey? LB (03:19): Yeah, absolutely. So I get asked a lot right now, Lisa, how do you get your confidence? I want confidence just like you and you have no idea, Roy. I was like, are they talking about someone else? Like I would like, look over my shoulder, just thinking they were talking to someone else, cuz in my head I don’t feel confident in head. I have a negative voice that is constantly telling me I’m not good enough. Who do I think I am to dare to go after this, my entire life. And so I think what P what I identified was people saw me doing it anyway and they equated my actions with confidence. And that’s where I started to think about the book, cuz I was like, it’s the fact that I use tools and techniques in order to show up every day to try and be confident to try things. LB (04:08): And when I fail, how do I get back up? It’s not confidence is I use specific tools. So that was like, okay, I understand how my journey goes, but what about other people? Where, how are people struggling? And it really is so many people resonate with me saying I was stuck for eight years and you know, what’s happened to the world over these last few years. So many people are feeling that. And so it all comes back down to people say, if I had the confidence, I would do this. And what I realized Rory is we are using that as a way as a, a thing that we think we need in order to get started. And what I started to ask people was, hang on a minute, you want confidence in order to do what? Because people are so focused on, I want the confidence that they’re losing sight of what they’re using confidence to get to. LB (05:02): So I say to people and I want people to think right now, what is that goal you have now? Don’t worry about how you feel about getting there, right? Cause confidence is feeling good, feeling good about doing it. Don’t worry about that. Focus on the goal and then come up with a strategy and steps on how you are going to get there. Because if I only went by, do I feel confident? And that’s, if I say yes, is when I’m going to take my take that action, I will still, I would really, I really, really would be right now. The person that is completely unfulfilled, you know, and housewife is just a thing that wasn’t feeling my soul. So that’s just my journey, but I, what is the journey people are on now? And is it feeling your soul? And don’t wait to feel confident to do it because that isn’t the end goal. LB (05:49): You want confidence in order to tell your boss, you wanna pay rides. You want confidence in order to tell your parents, you no longer want to study math and you actually wanna be a standup comic. You want confidence to tell your partner, you’re not happy in the relationship, but you want the confidence to do something. So that’s where I just start. And that’s where I wrote the book, radical confidence in order to try and get people out of their own heads about feeling confident to get started and let people, no, it, the most amazing news is that you don’t need confidence to get started. You can actually use radical confidence, which is a set of tools and you can be scared and do it in a way. And now you’re taking control of your life and you are not worried about if you feel good about it or not. LB (06:34): You just focused on how do I get to my goal? How do I get to that dream life I want? And that’s the whole purpose behind it. And each chapter gives a very succinct lesson and no BS lesson on this is what I actually had to do to go from being the completely unfulfilled person for eight years to then really living the life of my dreams and all it being the hero of my own life because I was waiting, I was waiting for someone to save me. I was waiting for my husband to come home and bring me some fun and the emotion that I was looking for. And I realized that the day my life changed was the day I stopped waiting for confidence and started to look inwards and say, I can control if I’m the hero of my own life. RV (07:19): It, it reminds me, my mom used to say this thing, like you know, I did martial arts when I was really really little. I was, I was raised by a single mom and I was in martial arts and I, you know, would tell her, I don’t like this. I don’t enjoy this. And she used to say, that’s okay, Rory enjoying it. Isn’t a requirement of doing it. and, and, you know, hashtag R’s mom enjoying it, isn’t a requirement of doing it. And it kind of makes me think of like what you’re talking about here. That it’s like confidence, isn’t a prerequisite of doing it. You it’s actually probably the inverse, right? It’s like you, it, something happens. And then it’s like, oh, you feel confident because you did something and, and you have this result. The, the way that the book is laid out is really cool. RV (08:08): They’re basically like each of these different affirmations that you have. And one of the, one of the first ones that you talk about is betting on yourself and the why I wanna bring this up is because I actually think that I personally struggle with this is going all in on yourself, like saying, like taking, taking the, you know, like the, the, the, the gamble. So can you talk about that? Like, if somebody is listening or right now, and they kind of have a dream, they’re like moving in a direction, but it’s like, they haven’t really gone all in on themselves. Like what what’s going on there. LB (08:53): Yeah. It want, you know, and so it’s do, do you want to go all in? That’s a thing. Everyone needs to judge for themselves, because for me, let’s take this book for instance, as I was writing the book, I said to myself, okay, what is a result I want to get? And what are the steps I’m going to take in order to get there? And what, and I like to call it no BS, what would it take? So once you’ve laid that out and say, well, what would it take for me to get in New York times? Number one, let’s just say, right? It’s like, okay, Lisa, in order to get in New York times, number one, you have to do 400 podcast interviews. Let’s just say, and I just go, wow, that’s a lot. Is that the life I want? What does that look like? And am I committed to it? LB (09:33): Because it becomes a decision. And I don’t think we should beat ourselves up over the decisions we make, but I do urge everyone to make the decision with their eyes wide open. And so in those situations where let’s say worry, you’re saying that you’re struggling with going all in. Are you reaching your goal? Yes or no. And if you went all in, would you reach your goal, looking at it like that, and then saying, what would to take for me to get there? Maybe you’re not willing to do it. Maybe that isn’t the life you want. And I think that being able to look with your eyes wide open is imperative to then go, okay, I’m gonna go all in. And that means betting on yourself because let’s face it. No, one’s gonna freaking fight for your dream harder than you. No one. So if you are not willing to go all in, why would anyone else around you be willing to go in for your dream or your life? LB (10:21): And so I also, for me, I like to take away the excuses that I make for myself. So if I’m not achieving my dream, what excuses am I using? Right. Oh, well I, I didn’t wanna work on days. Okay. Well, that’s, it’s not an excuse. It’s a valid thing. Or that’s how I want to live my life. Mm-Hmm . But if my no BS, what would it take game? Turn out like, okay. In order to get 400 podcasts in, I would have to do four interviews every single day, seven days a week. Now let’s say I take Sunday off at the end of the day. If I don’t hit my goal, I can look, I can say it was a decision I made to take Sundays off. I decided with my eyes wide open, what it was going to take for me to reach my goal. LB (11:06): And I decided not to go all in, but you gotta identify what is actually holding you back from going all in. Is it what comes with the life that, that, that brings so running your business right? There is no nine to five. You know, if you are expecting your team to work hard and you are putting videos out on a Saturday at 3:00 AM, let’s say right, there is no nine to five, but is that the life you want? So you need to identify what are the things that are holding you back and is it a valid reason or is it an excuse that you’re using? RV (11:41): Mm-Hmm I think there’s so much power in just labeling. What is the, what is the excuse? Like what is the, what is the actual thing that you’re, that you are leaning on? So like, I wanna go to quest for a minute. You guys grew so freaking fast. How did you grow so fast? LB (12:04): So timing was very big. It was just as Facebook was kind of getting hot. And there were multiple things. So more, we created a product that we really wanted and didn’t exist. So my husband at the time, my husband, my husband and his business partners at the time were all building a technology company that was kind of like, oh, he was going out. He was working. He was trying to make, make enough money for us to actually make movies. Cause our background film. So the problem is when you’re just chasing money, he got caught up in the, in the you know, the hamster wheel. So what was supposed to be, he’s just gonna work for a year. I’m gonna support him. We’re gonna earn enough money so that we can make movies turned into eight years of him just chasing money. We forgot our dreams and left them behind. LB (12:51): So as we were doing that it re I realized that money doesn’t bring happiness. And in seeing my husband chase money, I was like, I want my happy husband back. So what does that mean? So he went to his business partners. They all agreed. They were unhappy. So they sat down and they said, what would make us happy? Something predicated on passion. And because when you’re just chasing money, it’s empty. And so when they stepped back and said, okay, what are the, what is the product or the thing that we really feel passionate about? Everyone was into fitness. And at the time, I dunno, if you remember protein bars, there was basically two types of protein bars, bars on the market. One, it tasted so good, but it had so much sugar in it. So it was like, it had 30 grams of sugar and five grams of carbs, but they can call it a protein bar, sorry, pro five grams of protein. LB (13:44): Or it was the opposite. It literally tasted like soar dust where you have to hold your breath and drink a glass of water as you’re chewing it. And so it was like, okay, well, what if you can make a protein bar that is actually shelf and taste wonderful. Now of course, every expert, every expert said we were nuts. That protein bar would’ve been made already. If it ex if it could be done, there’s a reason why that protein bar doesn’t exist. Did you know there’s 1400 protein bars on the market currently, who the hell do you guys think you are? You guys know nothing. That’s all the feedback we got. RV (14:20): Wow. LB (14:21): But we all believed in the product and we believed that can we overcome the hurdles that were ahead of us? So that’s the big thing is do you believe in the product and is it possible in your mind? Forget about what other people and not just, is it possible? Are you, you willing to keep pushing to see that when you hit a roadblock, are you able to get past it? So there were so many multiple things. And then that last piece was the marketing. Was that when everybody else was like, the prestigious is going into stores, if you’re in stores, it means that you are official. If you’re online. I mean, this is 2010. So just to give context, people like online meant that you were lame selling your product online meant that you were pretty bad and that no store would ever hold you. LB (15:09): And so everybody was like, we need to sell in stores. We need to sell in stores. And my husband who just has, he understands marketing and human nature. And he was just like, well, shouldn’t we do, what’s convenient. Like online is where we don’t have to pay a third party. Right. And there’s a whole thing about if you sell to stores and it doesn’t sell, they ship you back and you’ve invested all this money and it’s, it’s just bad for business. So my husband was like, no, we were selling stores. And we will make the people eating it believe by proving ourselves and let the people speak. And now obviously that’s what everyone does, right? Social media. And it’s like the influence of the people that had the most voice back then no one was doing it. So the idea behind find authenticity, giving product to people and be asking them for their honest feedback. LB (15:58): So what we would do is we would, if with every single product, we had this little piece of paper that said, please, if you like this bar, please talk about us. If you hate this bar, please talk about us. We want truth. And we were one of the first companies to have these letters. So what we ended up doing is so many people, cause it was a brand new product that so many people wanted, but no one had, we were selling online. So we were actually marketing to the really, really experienced people. The people that understood nutrition to a, a high, a high level. And then we just used the trickle down effect. So we were sending them free products. If they really believed in us, they were telling the people that were following them, the people that were following them were the fitness junkies, the fitness junkies, who were like the real, like the, the trainers and the hard school people. They were hearing them. Then they loved the product. They were telling their clients, clients were hearing, they were telling their friends. So before you knew it, it became this wildfire of everyone and their mothers were eating quest bars because they had heard it through people speaking about it. So it was the real accumulation of having something that is hot and new, a product that doesn’t exist, exist. And in the true freaking leaf that you are gonna work and bust your to make it happen and succeed. RV (17:18): And you guys sent so just to catch that. So you sent free bars originally to influencers. Like that was like the beginning of influencer marketing, even right there. LB (17:29): It was, we’ve had two bars cause we had two flavors and literally we had zero, but we were making bars just to send out to people for free. And so we had a budget and we said, how much can we afford to send out us and the business partners, how much can we afford to send out on a weekly basis? And what is the letter we’re gonna have in? Are we gonna follow up with them and see if they got it, see if they like it, see if they have any friends that like it. And it was just free. It literally was free, free, free for free. If you like it, let us know if you hate it, let us know. And because of that, it becomes a brand that you trust. And so all of that contributed to the new way I think of, you know, marketing and social media and things like that. RV (18:15): Well, and you also like with impact theory. Okay. So when I hear about the start of impact theory real quick, because so then you do this, you build this consumer package goods company, like you’re doing you’re, you’re, you’re selling bars. Then one day that’s done, it’s all over. And then you start all over again. And but even like what you do now, you give away free. I mean, you’re like giving away content for free hooking people on that. So like, you didn’t go back into making movies. You guys jumped into the whole personal development space. So like what, what was the thinking there on starting pack theory? Did you know, by that point, did you know you wanted to do it? Did you know, you wanted to write a book one day and you’re like, okay, we gotta build the audience. Or like that’s a, you know, a whole new level, a whole new chapter. LB (19:01): Yeah. So the reason why I really wrote the book is I spent eight years not following my dreams, not trying anything new, being scattered, make a start on anything. And now, because I so learned that lesson, I just committed and promised myself, I would never go the rest of my life, not trying new things that excite me. And so I just try things and see if I like it. And giving ourselves the, the space to play is so important. So at quest, when we built the bar and the, a lot of it was, we were creating content behind it. So we started the YouTube channel when other products weren’t doing YouTube channels. And so what we were doing is we weren’t making the bar about us. We were making the bar about the consumer and then what the consumer could do to it. So we started the cooking show that blew up. LB (19:47): We started a transformation show that blew up. So cause we were making it about the people and it’s where my experience was. It was about making content. And so when I started to learn at quest and I was helping build our shipping department, I realized the opportunity of the social media side and our marketing, our head of marketing at the time just had that vision. And so I was like, let me build the studio. Like I really, I wanna like try. So I went in, never done it before. And my first task was literally build a kitchen set. And so I just figured it out. And as I was doing it, it still tapped into the love that I had of movie making, which was using visual visuals and all your senses to impact someone. Right? So that’s what film is to me. You use music, use edits, use action, use character, use lighting, all this to make a person feel a certain way. LB (20:39): And you have the ability to make someone feel amazing about themselves. You have the ability to make someone cry. Like, just think about that for a second. You could, how many, you know, sad movies are there, but you can change people’s emotion with video. And I just loved that form. And so we still took the core of what my husband and I believe in. And we started to do content and that’s where he, he started to do his show inside quest. And that was really the catalyst of bringing will people on and talking to them about mindset that led us to the idea of wow, true transformation, like actually changing someone’s life. Isn’t just about impacting the body. It’s about like my mom, my mom, as quest was getting bigger. My mom was getting heavier and heavier and more and more in hell. And as I was trying to just fix it by throwing money at it, which obviously is the wrong solution. LB (21:32): But I was like, mom, I can, you know, I can hire you a professional trainer. I can get you a share the words that would come out of her mouth worry were I’m too old. I can’t lose the weight. And all of it. I started to realize it was mindset. It was mindset. And so the people we weren’t reaching were the quest bar were the people that were too anxious to walk into the gym in the first place. It was the people that were too depressed, depressed to even believe they’re good enough to look after their health. So me and my husband, we basically were like, well, are we just playing impact? Or are we actually going to impact people? Because put your money where your mouth is, put your money, where your mouth is. And so for Tom and I, that was where it was like, we started to realize our passion really was behind the creating content side of it. LB (22:22): And his business partners wanted to focus on the body. So that’s where I’m like, well, you know, effort, let’s just take a, our money and do something that’s really meaningful to us. So we started the studio, but there’s a big picture. There’s the long vision. So going back to your question is we actually see, these are all stepping stones. So right now we’ve actually got, I think eight, we may have nine, but we have eight fiction stories going on. So we’ve got storytelling, got writers on board. We’ve got artists on board board. We’re creating comic books. We’re putting them up on web tunes. Cause storytelling, everything comes back to storytelling for us. So now with what we did with the quest bar is how do you make something yummy? And people wanna eat it. And it happens to be good for them. How do you translate that into content movies growing up? I dunno what movies you watch growing up, but things like the karate kid or like adventures in babysitting. RV (23:21): Oh, I lived on the karate kid girl. That’s now you’re now you’re talking about both my jams right there. LB (23:25): Okay. Now think about that. It was so fun. So, but you know how many times I use the analogy as an adult of waxing on and off? Yeah. I probably say wax on wax off at least twice a week. because to me, it’s the analogy RV (23:42): I knew. I like you for a reason and now it all makes sense. Now it all comes together. LB (23:48): It’s the analogy, right? Of being prepared, doing things that you may not like for the greater good, good of a vision or a dream that you have. And eventually you get so good, but you have to put in the time you have to put in the work, how many blisters did he get on his? Cause he was freaking waxing. It’s like, it’s the most beautiful metaphor. But as a kid, you don’t necessarily get it. So how do you blend entertainment and impact? So that’s where me and my husband come in. And so we’re like, great. There’s gonna be different divisions to our company. And it’s gonna be a graduation process. The very top of the, the tier is impact theory, university, whereas actually classes and courses that you can take that people wanna study. They wanna take it seriously then below that there’s that our content, it’s still very heady. LB (24:36): Right? We do like our interviews where you’re talking about deep things. Sometimes, you know, I talk about suicide with, you know, some of my guests and therapists and things like that. So it’s very deep and hard. And then it’s the next tier, which is entertainment. So it’s like, then, so now you’re just entertaining and you’re threading through the empowerment so that people can meet you where they are. So you hope to empower them with our entertainment, with all the, the storytelling, the movies that we are working on, the, in that we’re working in the comic books that we’ve got in production. And then they take that to the content that is on YouTube. And then they take that to impact their university where now they actually take a curriculum. And then the book is so new to me that it becomes part of that where it’s like a physical guide step by step of what you need to do. RV (25:29): Yeah. That, I guess it’s never hit me quite the way that it is now. Just like hearing you sort of riff on this, that like you guys deliberately are making content that’s so entertaining. You would watch it anyways, but it happens to be good for you. Like it’s the same thing you were doing with the quest bar. It’s like, you build a candy bar. That’s so good. You would eat it anyways, but it happens to be good for you. And that that’s basically like what your secret formula is, is mm-hmm is make it, so make it so good. You would, you would consume it anyways and it happens to be good for you do the same thing here with your content strategy. LB (26:09): Absolutely. RV (26:11): I also you know, I think the video editing, like hearing you talk about that of just like the passion for the music you’ll use and the lighting, because it creates this emotional experience for people. So were, were you involved, are you still involved very much with like the production element of like the content and things that you do? LB (26:31): Oh yeah. So I’m still our chief creative officer as well as the president of the company. So it’s, but it’s something that isn’t sustainable when I think long term. So we definitely are building out the team. We have an amazing production team, incredible producers but I love content. And so for me, it’s so important that every day I’m feeling my own heart first, before I show up for anyone else. Because if I’m not enjoying my life, how on earth can I sit here and try and empower other people live the life they want. So, and I love content and that’s one of those things that sometimes even though it doesn’t necessarily make sense for me to do it, I love it so much that I will. So and so we have a process as well. Like if it’s new content, who’s the concept. LB (27:17): Whose idea is it bring in making sure they’re heard, like sometimes, like we, we literally have massive meetings and anyone’s welcome to bring any idea to the table. If you’re an intern. Great. I wanna hear it. If it’s a hot idea, come on over, you are now leading this project because I, I don’t freaking always have the best ideas. Neither does Tom. So it’s about bringing the most amazing team together that love being with each other that have the same passion and desire for content. And then the, the last final thing is making sure that everyone is aligned on that goal. So for, so going back to your question, I do oversee new content that gets created to make sure that it’s kind of established as this is the field. This is the form. And then we have just an amazing team that it now goes to, but I have those moments that there are certain things that my heart still wants to make sure that I see RV (28:05): Mm-Hmm well, and you talked about storytelling in, in, inside the book, you talk basically about the stories that we tell ourselves, like it’s, it’s amazing. You’ve got this parallel of how do you curate a video and a production story, but like, I’ve sort of see some of that parallel in terms of like the, the internal, I mean, you, you, you call it the negative voice. So like how, and you mentioned that you still struggle with that yourself or you know, that you, that you have. So how do you recognize that’s going on? What do you do with that? And even at your stage now, it’s kind of, it’s, it’s a little bit weird to hear even somebody like you, Hey, we sold a company for a billion dollars. We got millions of followers and I’m still struggling with self doubt, like at, at times. So how do you identify when that’s happening? What do you do with it? Like, talk about that, that negative voice. LB (29:03): Yeah. It was one of those things RO where everyone kept saying, be kind to yourself, don’t talk, you know, like you need to be nice. You have to always love yourself. And the truth was, I didn’t find that actually was true with me. Like, so then I started to beat myself up over the fact that I wasn’t able to be kind to myself. Right. And now it’s like this like double edge sword and you like, know where to go. So I kind of thought about RV (29:25): You idiot to yourself. You moron, Speaker 4 (29:29): see, you can’t LB (29:32): Even get yourself to shut up. So it was one of those. Okay. I, every time I fail, every time I do something wrong, I, I find myself beating myself up. You shouldn’t have done that. And so I was like, okay, how do I, how on earth do I spin this around? Because I recognize it’s holding me back. And I go to I’m very goal oriented. So does this voice in my head help me towards my goal? Yes or no, the truth wasn’t didn’t right. It was just making me more fearful to try new things. It was becoming more crippling for me to start new things. And so just like, I think it’s Tony Robbins that said something like, you know, how can you take the most amazing the worst thing that’s ever happened to you and make it the most amazing thing. So it all comes to perspective. LB (30:15): So I was like, okay, I know about perspective. I’ve done enough mindset work to know perspective is very powerful. So how do I use a perspective right now on my negative thought? I love superheroes and allergies and you know, I wear a wonder woman, necklace. I have superheros behind me. So I was like, okay, what if, instead of it being your cryp tonight, it was your superpower. So now I’m using language around it, right. To soften. So I even use cryp tonight and superpower as to step out of the sting of the negative thought. And then I start to think, how can I actually do that? Okay. Thery is it holds me back? So how can I use it to propel me forward? Which is your superpower. Okay. It’s like, what if it’s trying to tell me something, because really when you think about it, a negative thought is actually a ti tied to your ego. LB (31:01): The reason why my ego is telling me don’t you dare do that. Oh my God, you’re gonna embarrass yourself. You know, nothing. It’s because it’s trying to protect me from being embarrassed. It’s the ego. It doesn’t wanna get bruised. So if I can see as the mean, girl is my ego, trying to protect me now, maybe what if it was a friend or a family member that tries to protect you, right. Tried to give you advice like your, maybe you shouldn’t try this and maybe they’re trying to highlight something in your life that you are blind to. So I actually flipped it. And I was like, what if this negative voice, this mean voice in my head is my best mate. If she was my best mate, what would I do? Would I, would I try and shut her up and throw her out? No, she was my best me. LB (31:44): I’d actually like welcome her. I’d give her a cup of tea. I’d put a blanket around her. And if you can, when your friend is giving you advice, if you trust them, you listen. So I was like, what if I just listened to her? And so what I realized was my ego was actually telling me all the things I was bad at. And she was right. I was bad at things. And so I go, okay, let’s say, I want, I wanted to start my show, this perfect example. I’m I wasn’t comfortable being in front of the camera. RV (32:12): You’re talking the women of impact show. LB (32:14): Yes. Thank you. Okay. RV (32:16): So you’re gonna start that one. Cause that came after the, like, after impact theory started women of impact came later, right? LB (32:22): Correct. Yes. Okay. So as an example though, of how you use your negative voice, so getting in front of the camera. So we built impact theory, get in front of the camera like five years later because everyone was urging me to, everyone was like, oh my God, you know, you really impacted me when I heard you talk to Tom about this. So I go, okay, I wanna get in front of the camera, but I’m so scared. Like I literally would freeze up in front of the camera and not know what I’m saying, not know what I’m doing. And the negative voice would come in and tell me, I’m no good. You’re gonna embarrass yourself. Lisa. You’re not as good as Tom. And everyone’s gonna have high expectations of you and you’re gonna, you know, totally mess up. And everyone’s gonna think that you are a moron, right? LB (33:05): And I’m, I’m like tech, this isn’t the negative voice. So I go, okay, if this was my ego and I can flip it, what is it saying? It’s telling me, I dunno what I’m doing. And the truth was I didn’t, I wasn’t expert at being in front of the camera. So it was given and me warning. So I go, okay, negative voice. What are you actually saying? He’s like, you need to get prepared because you don’t know what you’re doing. So get prepared so that you don’t embarrass yourself in front of the camera. Mm-Hmm . And so I took the message as a positive, I took the message as a lesson. And so I sat down and I said, okay. It, if I’m saying I’m not, I don’t know what I’m doing. How can I prepare so that I eventually do know what I’m doing? LB (33:46): And that, that flipping perspective now has changed everything. So now, now when the voice comes back, cause it’s absolutely still here because I’ve positioned it as a friend. It’s no longer crippling at all. In fact, when it comes up, it gets that like three seconds sting. And then I’m like, thank God. She was, she was helping me because I was about to go in this situation and I would’ve messed up or I would’ve failed or whatever. So I’m very grateful now that I have this kind friend that is warning me of the, is that the traps I may get myself into. RV (34:24): Yeah. It’s like it’s very similar to feedback externally, right? Like if people give you feedback, you go, oh, you know, like screw them. They had, they gave me feedback. But so many of the successful people are like, no, that’s the gold or your customers. Like you talked about this earlier with quest where you’re like, if it’s positive, tell us, but if it’s negative, tell us we, he want to know. I heard recently there’s like a little author mastermind group that I was in and somebody was J talking about James clear. And James has, James is not in this, in this group. But they were saying that one of the things they learned from him, he wrote ATO author of atomic have, is sells Bazi. LB (35:01): Oh, oh my God. RV (35:03): It’s crazy. So what he said was one of the things that he did was he went and looked at the reviews of other people’s books that were in the category of the book he was writing. And he said, but I ignore the five star reviews. Mm-Hmm cause they’re, they’re why the they’re like overly positive. And I ignore the one star reviews because they’re just haters. He said, what I do is I read the three star reviews of all of the books that are like mine, because those are the honest people who are actually trying to help. They’re saying, this is it. And that’s what I was thinking of when you were talking about it. It’s like, you wanna listen to what your, your voice is saying, but not how it’s saying it. Like it’s, you don’t wanna be mean, but like that, that voice is that’s very valuable information. Like a coach, you know, you can look at it like a coach and not as a, not as a critic. LB (35:59): Mm. I love that. RV (36:02): That’s really, really cool. So Lisa, so I, I have one more question for you before we leave, but before we do that, I wanna make sure where do people go to if they, if they want to check out radical confidence, get the book where would you point people? LB (36:18): Yeah, thanks. So people can go to radical confidence.com where we’ve actually got a ton of bonuses over there. Or you can go to Amazon or target anywhere books are sold target and Amazon have been just great partners to me or so far already. So I wanna make sure that I shout those guys out as well. RV (36:35): I love it. I love it. So all right. I’m gonna, I’m gonna ask you that if there’s, there’s, let’s, let’s, let’s say somebody is listening to this right now and they kind of have a dream. Right. They kind of have it in their, in their head. That there’s something that I want to do, but they don’t feel like they have confidence and they don’t feel like they’re equipped and they don’t feel like they’re smart enough. And, you know, to, to take it back to where you were, where you were kind of like at home and going, you know, who, who am I to do this? What, what, what, what encouragement or advice, like, what would you say if that, if that person was just like sitting here in the room right now with the two of us, and it was just like the three of us talking, what would you say to that person? LB (37:30): I think it’s gonna be super important to identify where they are currently and what their belief system is, because everything I’ve spoken about doing, you know, radical confidence, showing up to do the hard work. You know, I’ve got a chapter where I really talk about asking yourself the hard questions and I call it, you know, open the can of worms and embrace the I, because that’s, I think something that holds us back a lot is that we don’t necessarily look at the reality of certain things and ask ourselves, does this feel right? Is this right? And yes, yes or no. And why not? And what am I gonna do about it? So for instance, the example that I like to go to is, let’s say you are married and you find yourself, you’re no longer happy in the relationship and you’re stuck and you dunno what to do. LB (38:20): You have to actually ask yourself, is this a relationship I wanna be in? Like, when you ask that question, like, do I have to do I need to leave? And the reason why people don’t ask those hard questions is cuz sometimes we’re so fearful of the answer, you know? Because what if the answer is yes, and now you’ve got four kids, a mortgage and now you have to go, oh my God. Well, does he, is he willing to do therapy? Am I willing to do therapy? If when, if this relationship won’t work, who gets the kids who gets some Christmas, who gets them all weekends or do we do about the mortgage? Like there’s so much that comes with asking a hard question and answering the hard question that so many of us, it’s just easier to go. Well, screw it. I’m not gonna do it anyway. LB (39:07): Right? And so that’s where I think we all get stuck over time. And I’ve had so many therapists on my show, worry. So many therapists and women of impact who turn around and say, you have no idea just sticking to relationships for now as the analogy, you have no idea how many people come relationships come on my couch. And they say they did something five years ago or whatever. And I knew it was a deal breakup, but I stayed cuz I thought it was easier. And they like the therapists say they always end up breaking up, but you stay in this period where you fear leaving cuz you fear doing the hard things and the unknown. And so going back to right now, if someone’s feeling stuck, I think it’s gonna be imperative to ask yourself the hard questions on what is you not working in your life right now? LB (39:58): Like nobodys take away the emotion of what you have to do about it. You just have to identify what is it in your life that isn’t satisfying and that isn’t making you happy and don’t judge yourself for it. Like when I started, when I realized I didn’t want children anymore. And I went from wanting four kids to not wanting any because I realized how much I loved being in business. I had to actually say, I have to talk to my husband about it. And the, the, just bringing up the subject and telling him, babe, I love you more than life itself, but I never wanna take care of you again. I don’t wanna put out your clothes. I don’t wanna cook for you anymore. That’s a hard discussion to have. And so I stayed there for eight years cause I didn’t wanna have the discussion cuz it was too hard. So I beg people to just look with no judgment and actually identify what those things are cause until you do. I don’t think you can move forward. RV (40:55): Mm-Hmm I mean, that’s so powerful of, I think we are, we’re afraid of what the answer would be. We’re afraid to ask ourselves the question cuz we’re afraid of what the answer would be. And, and, and we’re, we’re even afraid of judging ourselves cuz that’s what we do. Like we judge ourselves, but then it’s like, you’re just stuck. Like you can’t, you’re not honest with yourself. And so you, nothing changes because you can’t change because haven’t identified the real thing because you haven’t even asked yourself the real question cuz you’re afraid of what the real answer might be. So I love that. Start with honesty and don’t judge yourself on whatever the answer is. Super powerful stuff. Y’all check out the book, radical confidence follow Lisa BIU if you’re not all already following her. She’s so cool. And funny and you know, I will say like a lot of the, a relationship, she, a lot of the relationship stuff, you guys, you do really hits hard. Like I, I really enjoy like when you guys talk about that stuff, you guys are very open and, and real about it. And this has been such an enlightening inspiring conversation for me, Lisa. So we wish you the best. We wish the best for the radical confidence book. And you know, we we’ll be, we’ll be standing by cheering Yon. LB (42:15): Thank you so much for having me pleasure.