the podcast recap episode with aj & rory vaden

Ep 415: Questions to Ask to Help You Find Your Why | Bianca Olthoff Episode Recap

Listen to the episode below

Resilience, grit, perseverance; why do some people have it, and others don’t?

What’s the difference?

Consider this a debrief, recap, and summary of the Influential Personal Brand Podcast episode with Bianca Olthoff!

Tune in to hear 30 questions to help you find your ‘why’ and create success in your life.

This episode is built on three key ideas; what purpose you feel called to in your life, what material things you want to have and what goals you want to achieve, and what kind of person you need to become to make your dreams into a reality.

If you are clear on those three questions, you will develop more resilience, grit, and determination.

Listening in, you’re sure to be challenged and motivated to pave a new way forward rooted in the clarity of your ‘why.’

Thanks for listening!

Key takeaways from this episode

  • Today’s topic: a recap, debrief, and summary of our episode with Bianca Olthoff.
  • What to expect from this episode: thirty ‘what’ questions to help you find your ‘why’.
  • Leveraging long-term vision to endure short-term sacrifices.
  • The struggle many people experience when they are trying to establish a ‘why’.
  • What has motivated Rory to develop the thirty questions.
  • Identifying the issues you are most passionate about and capable of solving for the world.
  • Creating a persona for who you can best serve and the challenges you have overcome to do so.
  • Asking yourself which practical skill sets you have and which ones you want to learn and master.
  • Taking failure out of the equation and asking yourself what you feel called to.
  • Tangible questions such as where you want to travel, the family you want to build, and the physical attributes you want to have.
  • Your ideal title, clients, vacation time, home, city, state, neighborhood, and car.
  • How practical questions can give you insights about the life you want to have.
  • Asking yourself what your perfect week would look like.
  • Calculating the money you will need to sustain your lifestyle for retirement.
  • Establishing which activities give you life and which ones drain your energy.
  • What your mindset would need to look like to achieve the goals you have listed.
  • Asking yourself what you need to learn and who you know that has already achieved what you want to achieve.
  • Identifying what kind of coaches you will need to get to where you want to go.
  • Assessing which behaviors you need to stop to reach your goals and what you need to start doing.
  • Asking yourself what you would be willing to give up if you knew you could have all these things.
  • Leveraging these questions to create the ability and the drive to move forward.

Tweetable Moments

“Discipline becomes dormant in the absence of a dream. We want to leverage long-term vision to endure short-term sacrifices.” — @roryvaden [0:03:34]

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail? I first heard Brian Tracy ask that question years ago and that’s been a great one for me.” — @roryvaden [0:06:38]

“You think it, you speak it, you act, and then it happens.” — @roryvaden [0:16:04]

“As you find your ‘why’ you will find the ability and the drive to be more resilient and more persevering.” — @roryvaden [0:20:15]

About Bianca Olthoff

Bianca Juarez Olthoff is a bible-teaching, word-slanging MexiRican who is passionate about raising up a generation of people passionate about Jesus Christ. As an author, speaker, and podcaster she knows the power of words and wields them wisely. As a church planter and leader, she is committed to proclaiming the gospel domestically and internationally.

Links Mentioned

Bianca Olthoff 

Grit Don’t Quit

Bianca Olthoff on YouTube

Bianca Olthoff on Instagram

Bianca Olthoff on Twitter

Bianca Olthoff on Facebook

AJ Vaden on LinkedIn

AJ Vaden on Twitter

Rory Vaden

Rory Vaden on LinkedIn

Rory Vaden on Twitter

Take the Stairs

Brand Builders Group

Brand Builders Group Free Call

Brand Builders Group Resources

The Influential Personal Brand Podcast on Stitcher

The Influential Personal Brand Podcast on Apple

RV (00:03): Resilience, grit, determination, perseverance. Why do some people have it? And some people don’t. Why is it that some people can barrel through walls and overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles and other people can’t get the motivation to get outta bed or keep going Sometimes? What is the difference? And that is what we’re gonna be talking about on today’s episode. I’m gonna share three ideas to help you be more resilient. And this was inspired from my conversation with Bianca just here recently about adding more grit to your life and how personal brands can develop that kind of grit and perseverance. And Bianca’s a new friend of mine, she’s Jasmine Star’s sister. We got to meet through Jasmine. And I’ve really enjoyed meeting her. And just the conversation inspired me to, to, to stop and say, I wanna put together specifically one tactical tool right here, right now that would help you immediately become more resilient, immediately become more perseverant. RV (01:11): And I call this first technique, or this is gonna be the, the main technique of this lesson is 30. What questions to help you find your why 30, what questions to help you find your why. So we all know that having a why is really important in an episode not that long ago. I talked about kind of a refresher of something I said in the Take the Stairs book, which is that discipline becomes dormant in the absence of a dream. Discipline becomes dormant in the absence of a dream that we, we wanna leverage long-term vision to endure short-term sacrifices. So the amount of our endurance, our perseverance, our resilience, our grit, whatever word you wanna use for this is directly proportional to it, to the clarity of our vision, the, and the clarity of our why. And one technique is to get really clear on, on the vision of what you want, which is actually to create a picture. RV (02:12): And I’ve talked about that before, but today I wanna talk about finding your why specifically. And I’m gonna give you 30 what questions to find your why. Because what I have found is over the course of my life and my career, that a lot of people struggle to find their why, so to speak. They, they struggle to boil it down. And yet when we give them these specific tactical, what questions, like when you answer these, what questions, all these questions start with what? Then once you go through and you answer all of these, your why sort of gets revealed out of that. So I’m just gonna run through this list, okay? These are 30 what questions to help you find your why. Number one, what issues are you most passionate about solving for the world? So just you, you answer that. What, what issues are you most passionate about solving for the world? Number two, what problems are you most capable of solving for other people? What problems are you most capable of solving for other people? RV (03:19): That leads to question number three, which is kind of related, but a little bit different. What type of person can you serve in the deepest way? So you just think of like all the different types of people out the world, and you go, what type of person? What are the makeups of the, the specific characteristics of somebody that I can serve in the deepest way? Number four, what are the biggest challenges that you have overcome? We’ve talked about this a lot in brand builders group where we say that you’re, you’re your most powerfully positioned to serve the person you once were. So what challenge have you conquered? What obstacle have you overcome? What setback have you survived? What tragedies have you triumphed over? That all comes into what are the biggest challenges you’ve overcome? Number five, what practical skill sets do you have that you wanna develop more of? RV (04:18): What practical skill sets do you have or do you want to develop more of? So what, what things do you actually wanna learn that is a hint at your why? Number six, what skills do you want to learn and master that you don’t have? So this kind of goes in tandem with the previous one. So what, what are skills that you, you don’t yet have, but that you wanna learn and master? Number seven, what would you do if you knew you could not fail? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? I first heard Brian Tracy ask that question years ago. That’s been a great one to think about. Number eight, what do you feel called to, what do you feel called to, like, what do you feel called to do? Number nine, what places in the world do you wanna visit? RV (05:08): So now we’re starting to get into the more tangible things which often help clarify and, and, and help us codify like a big part of our why. So that’s what this next little section is all about. What places in the world do you wanna visit? Number 10, what type of family do you wanna have? So just like, when you think ahead 10 years from now, what type of family, like how many people do you see in the family? What, what type of family? Anything you can describe about that. Number 11, what physical attributes do you want to exhibit in your body, right? What physical things do you want to maybe change or highlight or, you know, modify in your body? Number 12, what type of job title do you want to have? RV (05:57): Like, what would your ideal job title be? Number 13, what type of clients would you most enjoy working with? What type of clients would you most enjoy working with? So if you had your pick of the litter and the whole world, and you said, this is the, the the specific type of person that I wanna work with what would that be? That that’s gonna, that’s gonna give you a hint as to what your purpose is, right? Like, we believe that all of these things are hints and clues as to what you’re calling is. There’s a reason why God made you in the way that he made you. There’s a reason why you are drawn to the answers to these things. These are not bad things, they’re not selfish things. They shouldn’t become idols in your life, right? They shouldn’t take the place of God. RV (06:48): They shouldn’t be the most important thing, but they’re good things. They’re beautiful things, and we believe that they are, they are there for a reason and they guide you in the, in the way that you should go. Number 14, what amount of vacation would you like to take each year? What about a vacation would you like to take each year? You might think, oh, I want permanent vacation. But the the, the reality is that you probably don’t. I mean, if you’ve ever been on vacation longer than seven days, it actually gets boring pretty quick. I mean, you can only go out to eat at like so many restaurants and sit around on the beach all day and do nothing. Like there’s so many, so many days and, and I know you’re probably listening and you’re like, try me, right? I’d like to, I’d like to have that problem, right? RV (07:30): Where I was bored of too much vacation. So maybe you need to do that and experience that and, and realize, no, I, I wanna have work. We were designed to work, right? God created work in the garden before the fall of original sin. So regardless of what your spiritual beliefs are, you know, for me that is the source of truth is biblically speaking work is not a part of the, the, the curse work existed before the curse work gives us purpose. So what amount of vacation would you like to take each year? Number 15, what type of house do you wanna live in, right? Like when you, when you think of your house, I mean, of course maybe you have some dream mansion or something, and that’s fine. Like if, if that’s it. But, but realistically go, gosh, like how much space do I really need? RV (08:15): What would I, what features would I really love to have? What type of house do you wanna live in? 16. What city and state would you wanna live in? If you could live in any city and any state, where would you wanna live? Or what city? Just sticking with the what theme, number 17. What type of neighborhood do you wanna live in? So is it a cult sack? Is it, you know, the, the mountains? Are you by yourself? Are there people near you? Can you see your neighbors? Can you not? Like, is it really tight and close-knit? Is it gated? Is it like, you know, is it just a big open area? Can you walk to the grocery store? What, what type of neighborhood do you wanna live in? Number 18, what type of car do you wanna have? What type of car do you wanna have? RV (08:56): And I know some of these might seem shallow in terms of like, you know, or superficial, but I don’t believe they are. I think that, that these physical things give you a lot of clues and a lot of insight into the type of lifestyle that you want to have, right? Believe it or not, not everybody wants a Rolls-Royce, right? Not everybody wants a Ferrari. Like I don’t want a Ferrari. The the, now I would have another Bentley, like I, I do, I do some days Miss Mile Bentley that I sold when we started brand builders group. But like the, you know, what, what type of car would you have? Those give you clues and hints and insight into the type of maybe job you want to create or the way that you need to plan and save money. And, and you can reverse engineer that into the type of career, the type of work or the type of client you wanna work with. RV (09:40): So I think these are, you know, worthwhile questions. Number 19, what do you want your ideal daily schedule to look like? What do you want your ideal dream daily schedule to look like? So if you could like, plan the perfect week and just plot it out on a calendar, here’s what I would do on Monday morning and Monday afternoon and Monday night and Tuesday. And, and not just like a vacation. I mean, you could have a dream vacation, but this is more of like, if, if this was a week that you lived on repeat, right? Going back to what I said earlier about vacation, I believe it or not, I think a lot of people don’t want permanent vacation. I, I, I have a lot of friends who have sold their businesses and it, you know, of course it’s fun for a while be like, oh my gosh, I don’t have to work again or whatever. RV (10:26): But a lot of ’em go into a deep depression and they really struggle to find purpose because it’s like they’ve had this, this focus and then once it’s gone, cuz work is good. Work is a good thing, it shouldn’t be an ultimate thing, but work is a good thing. So, you know, what would, what would your ideal weekly schedule look like? Number 20, what amount of money will you need to fund the type of lifestyle that you wanna have during your retirement? If you’re gonna take a retirement, right, or you know, what, what amount of money would you need to have to just live your dream lifestyle might be a better way if you go, no, I’m not gonna work forever and then just retire and do nothing. But if I wanted to sort of like, paste it out a little bit, what amount of money do you need to to fund that? RV (11:09): Number 21, what do you want your taxable income to be? What do you want your taxable income to be? Number 22, what activities do you love that are life giving? Life giving? What are the activities that just, they just make you happy for no reason? And you go, you know what, maybe I shouldn’t love mowing the lawn, but I do. Now I do not, right? That is not one of mine, but like, maybe it is for you or maybe it’s cooking or sewing or, or reading it. Reading is is mine, right? I could sit and just read for hours. It’s just completely life giving to me. So what are the activities that are like life giving number 23 is the opposite of that question. What activities do you hate doing that are life taking? And RV (11:52): You’re not exactly sure why. And maybe some people love ’em, right? I mean, one mine is landscaping and gardening, right? I know some people love it, it’s their thing. For me, I’m like, this is is prison. Like, I’m miserable. I do not wanna be outside in the hot sun sweating, like bent over getting dirty and all. It’s just like, it’s just not my jam. So what are the activities that you don’t like doing or the things that are life taking? Number 24. This is a good one, okay? This is where we start to get into the type of person you need to become to have all these things that we just talked about in the last section. So I would, I would classify these 30 questions. It’s not equal 10, 10, and 10, but the first 10 questions are really about like, what’s your purpose and your calling in life. RV (12:37): The second 10 or, or the middle part, they’re not exactly the second 10. The middle part are really questions around what type of lifestyle do you wanna lead and do you wanna have? And then this, these last ones are kind of more about what type of characteristics do you need to develop as an individual. So number 24 would be is what would the self-talk be of someone who had already achieved all of these things? What would the self-talk be? What would the, the mind of someone who had already achieved all of these things that you just listed out, what are the things that they would say to themselves? Because whatever those things are, are things that you can and mean should and need to say to yourself before they happen, right? Self-Talk should happen in reverse. The your self-talk happens first. This is the creation principle of integrity chapter from my take the stairs book that you think it, you speak it, you act, and then it happens. RV (13:33): So first you think it and then you speak it. So what would your self-talk be? If you had already achieved all these things, number 25, what would you have to learn to achieve the things on this list? What are the things that you would have to learn? Number 26. What person or people do you know who have already achieved the things that you wanna achieve? So what person or what people do you know of who have already achieved the things that you wanna achieve? What people already have, the things you wanna have. Those people are the people who have the answers for you, right? So just identifying them. Number 27, which is a little bit related. What type of coaches would you need to help you to get to where you want to go? What type of coaches would you need to help get you to where you want to go? RV (14:31): Right? I mean, Michael Jordan has a coach. The greatest actors in the world, they have coaches like the, the, the elite highest performing athletes and entertainers and musicians. They all have coaches. The best authors in the world have coaches. We coach a lot of ’em. The, the best speakers in the world, right? We coach a lot of ’em. Like there there is, everybody needs a coach, like, and can benefit from a coach. So what type of coach would you need to or coach would you need to get to where you want to go? Number 28, what behaviors do you need to stop doing in your life? You don’t even have to. You just go, these are things I’m doing, I just need to stop doing these. What behaviors do you need to stop doing? You know, things that have shown up for me over the years has been like drinking alcohol eating sugar you know, staying up late. RV (15:20): Like these are, these are things as I’ve gotten older, it’s like, I just need to stop. Like, I just need to stop doing this. So what are they for you? Number 29. What behaviors do you need to start doing? What do you just need to start doing? And you go, you know what, like plain and simple. I, this is, I need to just start doing this. I know for whatever reason I know that this is a, a behavior I need to start doing. And then question number 30, and this is a big one, okay, what would you be willing to give up if you knew you could have all of these things? RV (15:56): Like what would you be willing to trade? What would you be willing to give up if you knew you could have all of these things? Those are 30 what questions to help you find your why. Those are questions that anybody can ask themselves to immediately get clear on what your, get clearer on what your why is, what your real purpose is, what your real driver is. And I obviously if you’re watching this or you’re listening to this, I know you probably didn’t capture all that. The good news, if you go to rory vaden blog.com, we will list, we’ve got these all listed out on my blog. So you can go get the full list there if you want to download it or screenshot it or whatever or just, you know, play this, play this back and you can listen over and over. RV (16:42): So that is the theme of today, 30 what questions to Find Your Why. And and when I talked about the three ideas to help you be more resilient, it’s really those three sections, right? It’s, it’s the first section of questions is all about understanding what purpose do I feel called to The second set of questions is really what are the things that I want to have or do or achieve? And then the third set of questions are really about what is the type of person that I need to become? And if you are clear on those three things, those three sets of questions, then inside of that, i, I, as a result of that, as the the byproduct of that, you’ll develop more resilience, you’ll develop more grit, you’ll develop more determination. Because now all of a sudden your brain is set on something that it wants, and now it has a reason to go out and achieve it and acquire it and make it happen. So get clear on these 30 what questions and you will find your why. And as you find your why, you will find the ability and the drive to be more resilient and more perseverant. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it and we’ll catch you next time.

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