the podcast recap episode with aj & rory vaden

Ep 399: How To Find Your People | Phil Treadwell Episode Recap

Listen to the episode below

Inspired by our conversation with Phil Treadwell, this episode centers on social media, human interaction, and how this relates to finding our people and building our personal brands.

Tuning in, you’ll hear about social media as a tool for business and why we need to question why our audiences go online and how they’re using these platforms.

AJ talks about what she learned from the book Find Your People by Jennie Allen, the importance of commonalities for forming natural connections, and how this plays out on social media.

Tune in today to learn how to differentiate yourself from your competition by letting people get to know you.

Key takeaways from this episode

  • How our conversation with Phil Treadwell inspired this subject.
  • Social media as a tool for business.
  • Questioning why your audience gets on social media and how they’re using it.
  • Thoughts on how we are drawn to people whom we have things in common with.
  • How the book Find Your People by Jennie Allen impacted AJ.
  • The importance of commonalities for natural connection and how this plays out online and in person.
  • Differentiating yourself from your competition by letting people get to know you.

Tweetable Moments

“Social media is a tool but, like with any tool, you have to ask yourself first, ‘Why am I using this tool and how can this tool be used?’” — @AJ_vaden [0:03:23]

“We forget that the heart of why most of us human beings get on social media is for human connection.” — @AJ_vaden [0:05:32]

“The number one way that you can differentiate yourself is to actually let people get to know you.” — @AJ_vaden [0:12:34]

About Phil Treadwell

Phil Treadwell is a mindset coach, national speaker and podcaster. He is the Founder of M1 Academy & Host of the Mortgage Marketing Expert podcast. He regularly speaks to mortgage and real estate professionals and collaborates with industry thought leaders across the country. He has received numerous awards including “40 Most Influential Under 40” by NMP Magazine and “Top 20 Mortgage Professionals” by Yahoo! Finance.

Links Mentioned

Phil Treadwell 

M1 Academy

Mortgage Marketing Expert podcast

Phil Treadwell on Instagram

Phil Treadwell on Facebook

Phil Treadwell on LinkedIn

Phil Treadwell on Twitter

Phil Treadwell on YouTube

Find Your People

AJ Vaden on LinkedIn

AJ Vaden on Twitter

Rory Vaden

Rory Vaden on LinkedIn

Rory Vaden on Twitter

Take the Stairs

Brand Builders Group

Brand Builders Group Free Call

Brand Builders Group Resources

The Influential Personal Brand Podcast on Stitcher

The Influential Personal Brand Podcast on Apple

AJV (00:03): So I just had a pretty enlightening conversation with Phil Treadwell, who I happened to be interviewing for the influential personal brand podcast. And we got on this little bit of a side tangent talking about, you know, real estate and mortgage professionals and what they can do in today’s, you know, somewhat tumultuous unique market. And we got on this side conversation about social media that led to another side conversation, which has now led me to this conversation, but I thought it was worthy enough to make an entirely separate video about, because I think this is something we really forget. And this is a little bit about social media, but also just human interactions. So it doesn’t matter if you’re online or offline, I think this conversation is really important. I will start with the online piece because that is a continuation from this conversation that I had with Phil Chadwell on our podcast. AJV (01:04): But here, here’s kind of where it stemmed from is that as you’re thinking about how to use social media for your business, right? And we talked a lot about how social media is a tool, and like any tool, it can be used for a variety of reasons, good reasons, healthy reasons, bad reasons, unhealthy reasons. But it’s a tool, right? And we have to treat it like a tool. And in this particular instance, it’s a business tool. And here’s kind of where this all started, is that social media, it’s a tool. But like with any tool, you have to ask yourself first, why am I using this tool and how can this tool be used? So I’ll say that again. Why am I using this tool? And then how can this tool be used? So through the lens of social media, what we talked about is, you know, if you just ask yourself for a second, for the audience that you’re trying to reach, why do they get on social media? AJV (02:11): Do they get on for education, entertainment to stay in touch with friends and family? Do they get on to see what’s happening in, in the world and media? Or is it to shop and look up pretty things? Why do they get on, right? And I thought it was a really good example that Phil shared in our interview, and he goes, most people, as they’re sitting in line at the D M V, this is the exact example he got where he gave, we’re, we’re trying to, you know, you know, kill 15 minutes and you decided to pop on social media. Were probably not sitting there trying to go, yes, real estate professional that you are defined for me the terms and definition of amortization, right? That’s probably not what we’re doing. Now, some of you maybe it is, but in general, I think it AJV (02:58): Just begs the question, what is your audience doing online? And is what you are doing online appealing to them, right? So that’s the first is why is your audience getting on social media? And then the second is, how are they using it both in their personal and professional life? So why are they using it? And then how are they using it, right? And I think those are two very distinctively different questions with some similarities. And at the end of the day here’s what resonated with me is that so often as we think about social media as a business tool, we think about it as an educational tool. We think about it as a marketing tool, a branding tool a selling tool. But we forget that the heart of why most of us human beings get on social media is for human connection. Truly, yes, we find vendors, we check people out, we listen to music, we learn about, you know, media, entertainment, political things, news, whatever is happening. AJV (04:08): Yes, we do all of those things. We learn, we get information, and most of what we’re doing most of the time is actually checking in with people. . It’s the human connection part. Because at the end of the day, we are drawn to people that we have things in common with offline and online, right? It’s like if we’re all standing ground at a party, you’re naturally going to have the most conversation with a person that you already know you have something in common with. Maybe you saw ’em at another party, maybe you have on the same outfit maybe you came in the same direction, whatever, right? But you’re going to have the most to talk about with the people that you have the most in common with. We are drawn to people where we already have natural commonalities. Now that led to a mental conversation that I had with myself about a book that I read just a few months ago called Find Your People by Jenny Allen. AJV (05:13): And Jenny Allen is single-handedly my most favorite author of all time. And I explained this book, find Your People as a Adult Version of How To Make Friends . It’s how to make friends as an adult. And as soon as Phil was talking and talking about these commonalities of, we’re drawn to people offline where we have things uncommon, but the same goes for social media, right? If, if you’re a entrepreneur who’s a mom, who’s married to their business partner and who has young children, I’m all up in your mix. I’m gonna follow you, I’m gonna like you all your videos. I’m like, what are you doing? I want to know you. Because we have so much in common. And this book I thought was so important because AJV (05:57): This is also something that I don’t just wrestle with in my professional life or using social media or as a, you know, thinking about business. I struggle with this in my personal life as in almost 40 this year, almost 40 year old. I find that it’s really challenging to find people that I can do life with who’s in a similar life stage. Who we go through similar challenges, right? So for me, a mom of two young boys who also runs a business who’s in business with her husband, who works out of their home, where we both travel a lot, right? That’s kind of unique. And I have found it’s really hard for me. So I picked up this book cuz I was like, I need you to teach me how to make friends Jenny Allen, help me. And what I learned is that this was is this so much more than about making friends. AJV (06:43): This is about the human condition of we are built, we are truly built, and this is this, I’m gonna bring this all together in just a second. I promise. We are truly built to connect with people who are in proximity. And I think a little bit of that is true online and offline. And I think one of the reasons that so many of us default to online is because we have immediate proximity. It’s this thing right here that’s in our pocket all the time. And we default to that versus, you know, taking it the offline part cuz that’s harder, that’s more awkward, that’s more uncomfortable and it’s definitely more time consuming, right? But one of the things that I learned is like I was trying to do life and build friendships with, not that they’re not still my friends, but with people who don’t even live in my city. AJV (07:30): Some of my closest friends do not even live within a drive away from me. I have to get on an airplane for hours to see some of my closest friends, which is why as a human being sitting here in Nashville, I’m going, I don’t feel like I don’t have friends when I have tons of friends, but I need friends that I can walk to their house, that we run into each other at the grocery store. I need friends that I’m gonna naturally see at church or at different functions across town. I need, I need friends that there is natural crossover. In other words, it needs to be easy, it needs to be convenient, there needs to be things that we have in common. We need to be in proximity of each other if we’re gonna have that natural opportunity to do life together, to build real community. AJV (08:16): And so much of that has to do with proximity, convenience. But mo most importantly, it’s what we have in common. Do we go to the same grocery store, the same coffee shop? Do we go to the same church? Do our kids go to the same school? Do we live in the same neighborhood? Do we work out at the same, you know, for me, bar three class, right? It’s like, what are the things that we have in common? Because that’s where there’s natural connection. And then it hit me, the exact same thing happens online on social modi, on somo, on social media, both professionally and personally. And here’s how I’m gonna wrap this all up. My encouragement to you is that before you start talking AJV (08:54): About the what that you do, right, interest rates, how many sales you’ve made, how many people love you, how many flights have you been on, how many stages were you on? Like, that’s cool, that’s fine. But that does not build connection. And that’s what we’re trying to do on social media, right? Social media is the networking tool of the 21st century. It’s not meant to only be online, but it’s a starting point. But in order to build connection, it’s like, I need to get to know you. I need to know who you are where w you know, where do you live? Not like your address, but you know, like, do you live near a beach? Like for me, I live like in this, you know, foresty tree area. It’s like, I want to know the little things about you that’s a part of the human condition, the human connection that makes me wanna follow you. AJV (09:40): I wanna see what you’re gonna dress up for as Halloween or what you thought about the Arrows tour with the Taylor Swift concert. It’s like those are the things that are equally as important, and they may seem counterintuitive, but the who part of this, the human connection part is equal to the what part? At least 50% if not more. So as you’re thinking about social media and how do I use this as a tool and how do I use this to help separate myself and differentiate myself? The number one way that you can differentiate yourself is to actually let people go get to know you. You’re the only you there is, there’s lots of loan officers, there’s lots of attorneys, there’s lots of dentists, there’s just only one you, so who are you, right? Like, what do you like to do and what are your thoughts? AJV (10:27): And you know, find your own balance in there. I’m not gonna get into the weeds on that. My point is, is we wanna get to know the who. That it’s that human connection that I wanna know that there’s other people like me out there doing things I like and struggling with, things that I struggle with. And we follow people. We’re drawn to people that we have things in common with offline and online. So as you’re thinking about the, why is my audience getting on social media and how are they using it? Just don’t forget the who part of that. It’s not just about the what and the education and information that’s part of it, but it’s about the who, who are you, who are they and what do you have in common? If you like this, then go check out the full conversation that I had with Phil Treadwell and I’ll catch you next time. See you later.

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