RV (00:07): Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon. AJV (00:54): Hey, y’all a J Vaden here and welcome to the recap episode of my conversation with Amber Lee Wago. And I love her she’s so awesome. Oh, I, I shared this on the podcast, but you know, you just have those people in your life. Hopefully you do where they just man, you, they just raise the energy in the room. And even though we’re not in a room, we’re on zoom, but she raises the zoom energy and you just feel it. Anyways, I just, you gotta have some of that in your life, right? You gotta have somebody who’s like, man, you make me happy. You make me feel good. And that’s how I feel about Amber Lago. So I encourage you to go listen to that episode, if you need a little pep in your step today, but for today right now, what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna give you my highlights from this conversation with Amber Lee Lago and I have a lot I’m, I’m a note taker on real paper. AJV (01:52): So, you know, I have a lot though. Okay. I don’t even know where to start cause they’re not three. And I know we usually say three, but I have more than three today. So here’s a couple of things that I think are really good. We talked a lot about a common theme in this interview with knowing who your audience is, right? So if you’re creating content and I would say content is not restricted to social media or blogs or podcasting we all create content. I literally was on a text thread with a girlfriend today. Who’s like, Hey, I, I’m making a really big change in my professional life. And it’s really hard for me to ask for help, but would you be open to dinner or coffee or drink? So I can just get some professional advice or just some input on this decision I’m making. AJV (02:47): And it’s like, to me, I’m already mentally preparing of like, how can I best serve my friend in this conversation? Right? It’s like, I know where she is. I don’t know what advice she needs, but I’m already going, like, what do I have that could be a benefit to her. That is content . So it’s like, I just want us all to reshape and reimagine the way that we define content. I have to have one on ones I don’t have to. I get to, I get to have one on ones with my team at brand builders group that is content, right? I sometimes they’re, you know, brainstorming conversations. Sometimes there’s difficult conversations. Sometimes I’m giving feedback. Oftentimes I’m getting feedback. But that is content. And I think a huge part of what I loved in this conversation with Amber Lee is like, you have to know your audience. AJV (03:48): So again, to me, it doesn’t matter if you’re a salesperson, a mom, a friend, an entrepreneur, a CEO, and executive speaker, author podcaster, wrap it all up right into one it’s communication. And in order to be an effective communicator, you have to know your audience, right? That’s not new. That’s not like we haven’t heard that before to have effective conversations and to be involved in effective communication. We need to know where the other person stands. That is your audience. This is just to an audience of perhaps more than one, right? And so you’ve got to know your audience. So then the question is, how do you get to know your audience? And that’s a part of your job and curating, who do you want your audience to be? Because you actually do get to influence that. And a huge part of it is who is the audience already around you? AJV (04:49): And what do you have to share and give to those people? What is the audience that you already have online and offline, but just as much as who is the audience that you want to attract, that you want to curate, that needs to hear what you have to say. That can benefit from something that you have to say, because I just really come from a place of every single person listening to this and everyone not listening to this. You have something to share that can positively impact and benefit the life of someone around you, whether or not you believe that to be true or not. It is true. There is a story and experience. There is something that you have that will help someone else, but it will be more helpful when you know who that someone else is, because that will allow you to reach those people. AJV (05:45): And it will allow you to have a bigger impact because there’s a little bit more focus and intention. So again, in order to have effective communication, I E creating content, you have to know who your audience is. So you need to know things about them. You need to inquire, you need to ask them, you need to have a relationship with them, but you need to know who they are. So that ties into my second one, which I think this is really good. How do you curate this type of audience? This is so simple that it kind of blows my mind. It’s like one of those things where it’s like, it’s so simple and it’s so true, but yet we don’t do it. Or at least I don’t sometimes. So this was a great reminder to me, the way that you curate an audience is to share what, you know, that’s, it share what, you know, there’s been this phenomenon of people that we work with at brand builders group, but then also just personal and professional acquaintances in my life. AJV (06:59): There’s in this phenomenon of this thing called the imposter syndrome. And for a long time, I was embarrassed to ask what is that exactly? Because everyone talks about it, but I was really unclear what it’s about to Google it when they like, what is imposter syndrome? And then it hit me. And I was like, what an odd phenomenon that people somehow don’t feel adequate enough to live up to the accolades that they’ve actually done. Why this is, it was, it was foreign to me at the time. And this is my reconciliation of that is that often now you don’t have to agree with this that’s okay. But this is mine often when we suffer from things like imposter syndrome, it’s because we found, we find ourselves in situations where we don’t get to speak what we know, and either we put ourselves there or we volunteer to get put somewhere, or we got hired to put somewhere, but we’re in a situation where we’re no longer speaking what we know. AJV (08:09): And we’re trying to seem more credible or we’re trying to share pieces of information that are academically correct, but they’re not personally in tune with us. And I believe that’s where a lot of imposter syndrome comes from. Because if you just share what you know, then that’s just who you are. , it’s just what you’ve been through. There’s lots of stuff. I don’t know. And I really don’t try to talk about it. Right. and I do try to talk about all the things that I do know, even if I don’t know all of the things I know enough to have my thoughts and my opinions just like on imposter syndrome. I dunno all the psychological backgrounds. I’m not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, so please don’t think I have any of those credentials. I do not. But I know that for me, what I internalize of where this comes from and how this impacts the people around me is what I see and what I know to be true. AJV (09:08): Whether someone else agrees with it or not. That’s okay. But when you speak, when you share what you know through your lens, you naturally start to attract people and simultaneously repel people. The problem with that is the third thing we’re gonna talk about is we want to be liked by everyone and we’re gonna have to be okay with not being like every one. That’s hard. It’s hard for me too. It’s like, sometimes I get like hateful comments and I’m like, delete . It’s like, I don’t wanna say, I don’t wanna see that. Like, nobody likes that. It’s not that we have to like it, but here’s what is really important. And I need you to hear this, having someone else, not like you is way less important than you not being authentic to who you are. Let me say that again. It is better to have someone not like you for who you are than to be liked for who you are. AJV (10:17): Not, that is not a life worth living. Well, there will be people who love you for just the way you are. Just like, there will be people who do not even like you for who you are welcome to life. That’s already happening all around us. It’s just amplified with the digital, the digital atmosphere that we live in. But the more authentic you become, the more polarizing you will also become. But that means that you are attracting the audience that needs you. And you are naturally repelling the audience who does not. And that’s actually a really great thing because you’re reaching the right people and the people who don’t can go find someone else. We have to be okay with that kinda like three high level things. But I also wanted to share some of these one liners, cause I thought they were really good that I just really love this. AJV (11:15): It’s treat your audience like family. And she goes, I have even a hard time saying audience. These are friends. These have become family, but treat your audience like family. Just really quick little things actually listen to your audience meaning actually pay attention to what they’re engaging on. And I love what she said. She goes, if you really wanna know what your audience needs and wants, ask them and pay attention to what they’re asking you for. Go back through your DMS or look at your emails, look at your text messages pay attention to what your family and your friends and the people around you and your everyday life pay attention to what they come to you for, what they ask you for. But listen to your audience, actually pay attention to what’s happening. That will give you the direction of everywhere. AJV (12:03): You need to go. Just listen. So good. Become known for one thing, right? You, we talk about this a lot at Ram builder, screw you break through Shehan wall by becoming known for one thing, but it’s the more you talk about one thing, the easier it is to become known for that thing. So focus, right? Put a little blinders on here. Don’t get distracted by all the shiny things, all the temptations focus. And you can do that when you know who your audience is, the focus I thought that was really great purpose instead of trying to find your purpose, try to serve other people and you will find purpose by doing that. So good. Y’all instead of me trying to just sit here and go, what is my purpose? Right? I’m like a journal about it. I could read about it, or I can go serve other people and find purpose in the process. AJV (13:04): So good. So, so good. And then last but not least everyone you need to serve is already all around you. He just have to see him. And I love this. If you didn’t listen to her story I will encourage you to go do so now because she has a really amazing story about being in a pretty tragic motorcycle accident, went through 34 surgeries and lost her very well known fitness business, but she’s built a whole new business by just showing up and being present for the people around her. And it started in a gym not online. It started in a gym by her showing up every single day. The same thing can happen for you. You do not have to have millions of followers to make millions of dollars and you do not have to make millions of dollars to make massive impact in this world. Y’all, it’s an killer episode, highly recommend it. So glad that you’re listening, I really encourage you to listen to this one. If you suffer from imposter syndrome, if you’re trying to find your way, this is an episode worth listening to, so come back, check us out again and we’ll see you next time on the influential personal brand.