AJV (00:02): All right. Y’all welcome to my recap on my conversation with Mori TaheripourAnd y’all, she’s just so cool. If you haven’t please go check out the full episode. But this is an episode full of tactical and mindset tactics when it comes to being a better negotiator, but also knowing when and how to publish a book. So we kind of got a, a twofer in this one. killed two birds with one stone. We were talking about the world of publishing. And if you are that individual, who’s an aspiring author and you just feel really called to get your message on paper in the form of a book. It’s really awesome to hear her journey and how that all came about. And for all of you who have like these 18 month or 12 month goals, it’s important to know it’s like, and it often doesn’t happen in that timeframe in a MA’s case, this was like a 10 year journey of making sure it was the right content, her life’s content on paper. AJV (01:04): And then we get to learn about the content, which is the skillful art of negotiation. So with us that I’m gonna share my my top three takeaways from my conversation with ma and I just think she’s so wicked cool. Y’all she’s done so many amazing things, but more than that, she’s just had a heart for teaching and a passion for helping others believe in themselves more and believe in their abilities and who doesn’t love that. Right. So here are my my top three takeaways. So here was my first one. I actually, I got to have a little coaching session during this interview. So if you’re interested in seeing that or listening to that go check it out. It’s it’s worth the interview. She called me out hardcore. So that was like my first big takeaway is that our view, our perception of how the conversation is gonna go in this case, a negotiation conversation has much to do with the end result. AJV (01:59): And so I made a comment how I have a pretty potentially difficult meeting coming up about some financial negotiations with someone. And I use the words if I have a fighting chance and she called me out so hardcore, and she was like, why would you say that? And then it just, it doled me in a second. It’s like I have a negative view of negotiations, which is interesting because in a sales environment, I would never have that view, but in a, a salary and you know, an employee conversation, it’s like feels like a little bit of a war of defending my stance or not making someone feel like they’re not worth it at the same time, being reasonable with what we can afford and was a really helpful conversation of going, there’s no fighting here. This is not an argument. This is a conversation. And that was so helpful AJV (02:59): Of the way that we view things ends up our ends up dictating how the actual conversation goes and the end result of it. And it’s like, I was going in with this concept. If it was a battle, this is not a battle. This is a conversation with someone that I truly like respect value. That’s not a battle to conversation. So just changing your mindset and the way you can talk about things. I really like, I I’m tell you, I woke up today with a completely different mindset of how this conversation’s gonna start, go and end. That was different than yesterday, which is short conversation with Maria. It was so helpful. Also reminded me to finish the book so I was like, that was really good. My second one is also on this conversation we had around negotiation. I loved what she said. AJV (03:48): She said that, well, this is my perception. This is my this is how I heard what she said. Some of these may not have been her words, but this is how I interpreted what she said in our conversation. And she said, negotiation is not confrontation. Negotiation is collaboration y’all but is so good. It’s like, if I can change my mindset, both in a sales oriented environment, a recruiting, hiring retention salary pay, pay, raise commission conversation, as well as, you know, as a, as a, as a customer, right? Who I’m trying to negotiate better, better rates or better deals with our vendors. Right. But if I view all of that as like, let’s come together and collaborate of what makes sense, what’s worth it to both parties. What’s a win-win versus there’s some sort of confrontation that has to take place and I’ve got to, you know, take my stance. AJV (04:49): So there, so do they’s like if we come from a place of being immobile, there is no negotiation. So negotiation is not about confrontation. It’s about collaboration. It’s about having a conversation where both parties leave feeling good about the situation. And that is what I want. And I bet that’s what you want. So it’s just redefining what is negotiation? It, it’s a conversation of trying to find middle ground amongst two people in a setting doesn’t even have to be a business setting. I negotiate with my five and two year old, all day long, and they are master negotiators. They do not hear no. I need to take a note out of the toddler playbook when it comes to this. But they come at it with a playful heart, a big smile on their face, but Ooh, do they know how to, like, just one more time? AJV (05:34): It’s like my two year old Liam constantly wants treats. He loves treats. He loves snacks. He loves treats. He’s like, oh my gosh, no, you cannot have any more lollipops kid. And he’s always just like, just a little bit. And I’m like, no, baby, not just, just a little bit mommy. And then I’ll say, okay, well just a little bit. And he goes a lot of bit mommy. And it’s like, he just is like, just a little bit, just a little bit, well, a lot, a bit. And it’s like, it’s just coming from a place of love and community and trust and playfulness, but also it’s like knowing what you want. So that’s my third takeaway. And this conversation and this, this has to do with both publishing and negotiation. But I loved what she said when she goes, it’s like, you’re never gonna get what you want until, you know what you want. AJV (06:23): so good. And she talks about that in the world of publishing. She, it was a 10 year journey for her to decide, to put all of this work and her beliefs and her values and her content in a book because she wanted to make sure it was the right content that represented her and what she wanted to share with the world. And so often I think we rush into that and we talked about how writing a book should be the last thing you do, not the first thing you do, right? It’s like, you gotta speak on it, train on it, coach on it, consult on it create content on it to D whittle it down to, is this what I really have to say? Is this what I want to be in paper, my legacy on this topic with this content? AJV (07:03): And I thought that was really powerful as a reminder of like, no, the book is the last thing, not the first thing. You do so much more before you ever figure out what do I really have to say? And that’s what goes in the book. And she said, a part of that is you have to know what you want. Right. You have to know that and then find a way to get there. And part of that conversation was setting up your non-negotiables, like, what are the non-negotiables that you have in your life, both personally and professionally. And I asked her what hers were and I thought they were so good. They’re at the very end of the interview. So I’m not gonna tell you what they are. You’ve gotta go listen to the interview to hear ’em. But I’ve spent a ton of time in the last 24 hours going do I, do I have non-negotiables in my life? AJV (07:46): And am I, am I really clear on them as a leader, as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, as my personal brand, as a mom, as a wife, as a human being, as a Christian, like, have I set forth, what are my non-negotiables that everything else is negotiated around and you gotta have those, right. And it’s like, I think one of the things I need to reset are like, what are my schedule? Non-Negotiables what will I allow and not allow to come into my schedule that will get me off track to the things that I deem most important. And that was just a really big one. And I think other ones are around, you know, I’ve got business ones, personal ones, marriage ones parenting ones. But am I super clear on what they are and do other people know what they are? AJV (08:28): And do I, do I live by those? Do I parent and work and conversate around those? Probably not. It was an amazing discussion. It doesn’t matter where you are in business or personal brand or just your, you know, personal life. Those are really valuable. And all in the context of negotiation collaboration and conversation. Y’all so good. I could go on for another 30 minutes on this legitimately. It was so good. So go check out the full interview check out more. I check out her book, bring yourself and stay tuned and we’ll see you next time on the influential personal brand.