Ep 387: Redefining Success | Ryan Blair Episode Recap
AJV (00:02):
All right, y’all. Today we’re gonna talk about redefining success and what does success look like to you? I just had this awesome conversation on our influential personal brand podcast with a gentleman named Ryan Blair. He’s a multi-time, multi, you know, time entrepreneur, billion dollar companies and just wise beyond his years and also humble extremely humble. And one of the things I loved about this conversation was this conversation of redefining what success looks like. And I think a lot of us are challenged today, specifically in 2023, with looking around and defining our success by what other people are doing. And I only know that’s true cause I know I suffer from it. And I can’t be the only one, right? I can’t be the only one who looks around going, man, is like having a really nice house. Does that mean success or free time?
AJV (01:01):
Does that, is that success or, or money? Is that success or fame? Is that success? And we, we kinda get caught up in it when we look around. And one of the things that I have found is that, for me at least, and I can only speak for me, but I know that there’s gotta be other people like me out there, is I need to put blinders on when it comes to success. I, I need one of those cones that like go around the heads of dogs after they’ve gone to the veterinarian. And I need to not be able to see what anyone else is doing. I need to be able to focus inward and upward of going what? Like, what God? Like what, what do you have for me? Not what does success look like? Like where does that word even come from?
AJV (01:42):
It’s what do you have for me? Because the, the truth is, is like I already know what God has for me. He has a promise for eternity. And that’s what I’m working towards. And my challenge for living in 2023 is that there’s so much things that distract, distract me from what I really should be doing, which is raising two awesome human beings, St. Jasper and Liam being an amazing wife to my husband helping, serving working. I believe in hard work. Those are things that I believe in. And that doesn’t always mean it’s gonna result in millions of dollars. It means it could, but it doesn’t mean that it will, that doesn’t mean I’m any less successful of the person next to me. And so I’ve spent a ton of time over the last few months really thinking about what, what is success to me? And here’s a couple of things that have come up with myself and my husband, Roy Vaden is, success today doesn’t look like more dollars than our banking account, which I’m not mad about it. I I’m not, I’m not saying I don’t wanna make more money. I think the more I make, the more I can give, the more I can do. But also I’ve realized it’s like, man, we, that was the only thing that we looked at in terms of success for a really long
AJV (02:58):
Time. And today, success looks like free space on the calendar. We’re buying back our time of going, I know success today looks like freedom with time to do what we feel like we’re being called to do. Not forcing ourselves to do the things that we think we should be doing because someone else told us that’s what we should do. Someone else could be our parents, our neighbors, our colleagues friends, right? But it’s like we’re defining success by the amount of hours that we have in our day to do the work that we want to do. Not freedom in terms of, Hey, I wanna, you know, go have a lunch every single day with a girlfriend, which I would love to do. But it’s like, no. It’s like, do I have the hours to do what I feel like God is calling me to do?
AJV (03:47):
That is success, right? The second thing is, success looks like having the confidence to say no, right? So the first thing is time. The second thing is the ability to walk away the wherewithal to know that’s not good for me, even though it seems like it today. I know six months from now, that’s not a good decision for me. That could be relationships, business deals, investments. There’s a lot of temptation to go, Hey, that’s going to be a great r o i. However, it’s gonna also simultaneously cause a lot of stress, right? It’s going to take away time and put pressure on versus give me time and take pressure off. And so it’s confidence to say no. It’s willingness to walk away. That is what success looks like. The next thing success looks like. How many lives impacted? How many people served versus again, dollars in the banking account.
AJV (04:43):
I believe that the dollars come when lives are changed. When people go, I want to pay you. Like you’re, you’re helping me so much. I desire to give you my money, versus I take your money and then hope I do a really good job. That is success. Success has shifted to, I want more time to do the work I’ve called to do. I want to feel convicted and saying yes when it’s a yes and feel powerful to say no when it’s a no. And man at the, and most of all, it’s, it’s helping. It’s serving, it’s feeling freed up to help someone in a way that someone else has helped me. It’s, you know, paying it forward, but it’s a, it’s a life impacted, it’s a life changed knowing that that will result in probably financial success. And even if it doesn’t, that is more successful, right? Not dollars, not social media followers, not even email list subscribers. It’s like I subscribe to all the things. I think social media is a powerful tool. I think AI is a powerful tool. I think owning your own context is a powerful tool. Those are tools, but that is not success. Those are tools that help you be
AJV (05:56):
Successful. Those are tools that help you on the journey, but those are not success money. That is a tool, not success businesses, right? Those are tools that does not define your success. Cuz the truth is, is no matter where you are, there are successes and failures, failure failures all day long, every day all through life. You are not a success or a failure. We all succeed and we all fail. And so what is success? Right? And I think that depends on the season that you’re in. And, and that should change. It most definitely will change and it should like success. What it looked like for me prior to having children versus what success looks like for me today is wildly different, right? The number one thing I think about more than anything else on this planet is how do I get my kids to know and love the Lord?
AJV (06:51):
If I achieve one thing, then call it a day, my life was successful, right? That is not probably what I would’ve said pre-children. I didn’t have context of what success looked like in the stage of life, right? And success will likely look different five years from now and then five years from then. But it’s like, it just take a moment to redefine what that is. Without worldly voices popping in, friends, voices popping in, siblings, parents, even your children popping in. It’s like, if we don’t define it, we won’t find it. And so you’ve gotta take the time to define it so then you can go after it. And I don’t know what it looks like for you. So I’m just sharing what it looks like for me today because it’s wildly different than it was at any other time in my life of going, I’m for the first time actually going, what would a successful day look like?
AJV (07:47):
A successful year? Knowing that I am not a success or a failure. I simply have successes and failures. But I’m just me who also has successes and failures at the same time. So just a, a word of encouragement. And also a prompt to spend some time on before you go after that next thing you’re after or even after. The thing that you’re after right now is just take a moment and define what does success and this thing look like for you in this season? And then make sure you continue to iterate on what thats, that success is in every season that you enter. So hope that was helpful for you, and I hope you stick around. I’ll see you next time.