Ep 105: Get Your Foot in the Door and Kick it Down with Paula Faris | Recap Episode

RV: (00:06) welcome to the special recap edition of the influential personal brand. I am Rory Vaden. I’m filling in for my wife and CEO. AJ Vaden. And I’m rolling solo on this recap edition, which is cool because I got a chance to meet Paula in person. You know, we spoke at the same event here recently and you know, I just, she’s a new friend. And, and so it’s cool to get a chance to introduce you to her so quickly and such a high-level performer, I mean, in terms of hosting, right? Like it doesn’t get much bigger than being a host on good morning America and the view. So I want to just share with you my three biggest takeaways, which I think are pretty clear in the interview, but I specifically want to talk about them as they relate to you as a personal brand. RV: (01:02) And I think the, you know, Paula talked about hosting, right? And that was sort of the direction that the interview went was how to be a great host. And of course, you know, as always, if you haven’t listened to the interview, go listen to it. But I think the, the biggest things that I took away from her interview are really just about you on camera in general. And so that’s my first big takeaway is to be conversational, even when your rehearsed be conversational, even when you’re hurt rehearsed. And you know, this, this thing that she was talking about, where when you go on camera, because we find that a lot of our clients are struggling with this is, is yeah. How do I, what do I say on camera? How do I, what personality am I when I turned the camera on? And yes, social media gives me the ability to like reach across the globe instantly, but I still gotta like, turn the camera on and overcome that fear. RV: (02:04) And when she said, just speak the name out loud of the one person that you’re talking to on the other side of that camera, I think that is so powerful and so useful. That is a technique we teach in our captivating content event about the secret of writing is that you don’t write to people, you write to person, you pick one person in your life and you write at that person. And she was saying the same thing on camera, which I guess I’ve never thought about so directly, but hearing her say it. And it’s interesting to write at that high of a level. That’s the kind of simple thing that they’re focused on. She’s focused on her audience. She’s focused on one person that she’s trying to serve. And there’s a good chance that if your nervous, before you get on camera, you’re not thinking about the person you’re trying to serve. RV: (03:03) You’re thinking about yourself, right? You’re thinking about is my hair out of place. Just do you know, do I look, do I look good? Do I look weird? Is my face funny? Is there something in my teeth is what I’m saying? Valuable. Like you’re so consumed. It’s so easy for us to become consumed with ourselves that we immediately disconnect and, and, and lose contact with the person on the other side of the camera. And that simple idea is the difference between everybody in the world. Like she hands wall, right? Everybody who’s consumed in the noise and the alarming majority and the few people that break through the wall, even as a host. And so I just thought that was so powerful. And it allows you to be relaxed. It allows you to be comfortable in your own skin because you’re not putting on a facade. You’re not acting, you’re not even performing. You’re not pretending you’re just serving. RV: (04:15) And if all you have to do is serve, if all you have to do is help, you’re not so freaked out about it, right? It’s like, you know, maybe this is silly analogy, but if you go into like a soup kitchen, and this is not the same thing, but just, if you think about serving at a soup kitchen, like you probably don’t care so much what you’re wearing. And do you have designer clothes on and is your car clean? And, and, you know, does everybody there know how great your job is? Like, you don’t care about any of that stuff. You’re just there to help. Like you’re just there to contribute and you’re not worried or afraid of being judged. And that is the power of being focused on your audience. And I think that’s the key to being conversational, even when it’s rehearsed. So it’s like, you’re thinking a little bit about what you’re going to say, but you’re, you’re, you’re really just being in the moment of trying to serve. RV: (05:13) And I think that’s, so that was my, my biggest thing, which is a lesson that I feel like I’ve, you know, learned, but always, and always want to be reminded of, but never had really thought of as a host. And it was just powerful for me to go, wow. The biggest hosts in the world are doing the same things that we do as speakers or that we do as authors. And to hear that from Paula was, was just really incredible. So that was the first thing. The second thing was actually what she talked about that she learned from Whoopi Goldberg, which is this idea of save it for the table, save it for the table. And what is she talking about there? Well, you know, when they would talk about topics in the pre meeting before the show of like, which topics are we going to cover once they could tell like, Oh, this is going to be heated, or this is going to be funny, or there’s a lot of energy or emotion around this topic. RV: (06:13) Let’s not talk about it now let’s save it for the camera. And I think that’s so wise and that’s, you know, obviously Whoopi Goldberg has had a very famous career. You know, I don’t know, you might have different views about what you think about her views or whatever, but like you can’t, you can’t refute that. The woman has been very successful at building a lot of reach and being in TV for a long time and movies and lots of movies and, you know so she knows something about that medium and for, for her to say something so clearly like save it for the table. Here’s how I interpreted that. And here’s how I think that applies to you. I think it’s easy to over rehearse so you can over rehearse. And what happens when you over rehearse is you lose the rawness of the emotion when you deliver it on camera, because you’re so focused on delivering what you practiced and you’re delivering from a place that you have been practicing rather than delivering from a place of just raw emotion and authenticity and what you’re feeling. RV: (07:36) And so you need to have a little bit of this rehearsal, right? So that you’re not just babbling off in a, in a random direction all the time, but you’re not saying you’re not just reciting everything verbatim that you’ve already kind of mapped out. You’re allowing the natural evolution of your emotion to come through and to portray how you’re really feeling, save it for the table, you, which, you know, in the view that meant save it for the live production, save it, save it for the TV, save it for the cameras. That’s what she’s saying. And I think the same could be true for you even as like a speaker, right? Or as, as a webinar, like I think scripts can be good to the extent that they reduce our fear and they give us an idea of what they, of what to say. But I think we can over rehearse. RV: (08:28) I think we can, we can put too much pressure on ourselves to say every single word. And it’s not that each individual word is magical. What’s magical is the raw human experience what’s magical is you and I connecting as humans. What is, is, is magical is you feeling the energy and the emotion and the enthusiasm, the power that when I give you something, this idea will change your life. This product will help. This coaching program will, will, will shift your career. And if you’re too rehearsed, you don’t have it. So save it for the table. In other words, save some of it for the camera. Don’t over rehearse. I thought that was just really, really huge and really helpful. And again, hearing it from Whoopi Goldberg or hearing it in this case, third party through Paula, that was, that was cool. I thought that was, that was pretty cool. So like you get to hang out with these people who are on national television so much just, you know, any day of the week to figure out what they think about it. So that was really good. But my favorite thing about Paula’s story was when she said, you’ve gotta be willing to kick down the door and prove yourself. RV: (10:02) You gotta be willing to kick down the door for your dream. And she’s she told a 13 year story of going from this like production assistant, earning nothing to being on, to like weaseling her way into local TV to, and even though she got on camera, she wasn’t even, she didn’t get a raise. She just had more work and more responsibility. And it was a 13 year journey to go from there to good morning America. And you know, you look at her and you go, gosh, she’s young. Cause you know, she looks young like she’s young, but you go, when you hear her story, it’s like 13 years. And this drives me bananas because people spend 18 months, 12 months, six months trying to launch a business or a personal brand. And they go, you know, it’s just not working. I’m not making money fast enough. RV: (11:07) Like none of this stuff works. I’m overwhelmed. Like I don’t get, I don’t get upset that people get discouraged, discouraged as a natural part of this. What was frustrating is how improper the expectation is about how soon you would succeed. And it’s not that I’m mad at the person that’s experiencing this. I have empathy for that person. I have been that person. I am that person I’m constantly struggling and frustrated with things. I’m trying to figure out constantly. I’m frustrated with the way that the world operates and that the messages that you’re receiving is that like, if you’re not making six figures, you know, within the first six weeks failing or that if you don’t have a million followers you’re failing, or if you don’t have a a hundred million downloads on your podcast, you’re failing. Or, you know, if you’re not fiving and are flying around in a private jet, you’re failing all of that. RV: (12:06) First of all is crap. Like in terms of you can impact one life today. And that is what matters. And the other thing is none of those people did it in six months. None of them did it in six weeks. Like, because none of them did it in six years. They did it in 10 years, in 15 years, in most cases, 20 years, 25 years. So when you’re struggling and you’re getting your face kicked in and you’re like beat up because you’ve been at this for two years and it’s like, it’s not happening for you. It is happening. Like you’re doing the right things. You gotta stay that. You gotta stay the course. The question is the challenges. Are you willing to kick down the door for your dream? Are you willing to sit there and kick and kick and kick and cut and bang and chisel and drive like, have you made the resolution like, have you actually come to the decision that no matter how long it takes your going to be successful, that’s the decision I want you to make? RV: (13:21) That’s the commitment I want you to make. That’s the place I want you to stand. I don’t want you to say, I’m willing to give this a try for six months. I’m willing to give this a try for a year. Like what is try? Like if you are a mission driven messenger, if you were called to this profession of being a personal brand, whatever that looks like for you, whether you’re in direct sales or you’re an entrepreneur, or you’re a corporate executive, or you’re, you know, more of like an influencer author, speaker information marketer, type of whatever, whatever your personal brand is about. If you have been called to do that, your life will get easier. The moment you decide that you will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes for that dream to come true, that’s it, your life will be difficult when you are living in the world of going GAF. RV: (14:25) I get results. I’ll stick with this. If I see enough likes, I’ll hang in there. And most of that happens on a subconscious level, right? Like we go for, you know, a year we go for a year and a half and we were like, gosh, it’s not working. It is working. It’s working. It takes time. It takes time to build, you know, the Dubai tower, the Burj Al Arab, like you gotta dig deep the ground before you get to, before you, you gotta build the foundation. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta lay the groundwork. And this is the truth of every story. And I just, for me, it was so cool to hear Paula, because it’s, it’s the story of a host, which is not a story that we hear that often we hear about authors. We hear about speakers, entrepreneurs, information, marketers, like all these people we have had here on the podcast. RV: (15:13) They tell them that story. But this is also for a world-class host. And it’s just the more we do these interviews, the more we meet these people, the more we share the stage with them, the more it’s like the truth of success is take the stairs. It was our first book from so many years ago now, like, it’s that simple? Have you made a decision that you’re going to kick the door down for your dream? Have you made the commitment that you’re going to do whatever it takes, as long as it takes. Now, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to like keep your day job or, or, or have a corporate gig and build something on the side or, you know, start small and work your way up. I mean, it means different things for different people. But if this is what you want, if this is what you feel called to do, you can do it. RV: (16:02) You can do it. I mean, particularly if it’s in the world of personal brands, like we can teach it to you. Like we’ve studied this stuff. We know how to do it. We know the truth of, you know, if there is a shortcut brand builders group, is it like, this is all we do. It’s what I’ve spent my personal life, my whole career studying. Like how do you, you build your audience and build your reach so it can be done. But the thing we can’t do for you, we can’t teach you is that commitment, that fight that hunger, that drive that desire to be scrappy and to go, you know what? I’m going to, I’m going to go for 13 years. I’m gonna do whatever it takes. I will take the hits for 13 years to get to where I want to go. So it’s like, you know what, call me after five. RV: (16:59) If it’s not like, if you’re, if it’s not working, keep doing it for five years and then call me and tell me it’s not working because it is working. It is working. You are building the foundation, but nobody sees the foundation, right? When you drive around the neighborhood, you’re like, wow, that house flew up. No, it didn’t. They spent, they spent a year doing permits. And then once they got permits and saving money and then finding their architect and their builder, and then, and then they got the plans and then they finally started digging and then they laid the foundation and then they had problems and then it rained. And then dah, dah, dah, and then one day you’re driving by. And you’re like, Whoa, look at that whole thing is framed and flew up. Where did that come from? The same is true for you. So just decide, decide that your dream matters, decide that you’re willing to kick down the door. RV: (17:51) Because if you feel that calling on your heart, we believe that it is there for a reason that it was divinely placed in you, which means you can’t fail. You can’t lose. As long as you keep serving and you keep fighting and you keep going. So do that and keep coming back here, hanging out with us and the influential personal brand podcast in Kali. As soon as you can, if you’re not already get into our coaching program, let us talk to you every month, come to our events. We can help you. We can help you reduce the pain. And I hope I get to see you there. If not hang out here as long as you have to, we love you. And you know, hopefully we get to meet you, but in the meantime, just keep kicking butt and helping people. We’ll get you next time on the influential personal brand.