Ep 336: How to Convert Your Speaking Business into Lifelong Clients with Matt Mayberry

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming, uh, at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:53):
Hey everybody, this is AJ Vaden. I am one of your co-host on the influential personal brand podcast. And I’m so excited about my guest today, because not only is he an amazing expert guest, he’s also a personal friend. And as someone who’s been helping me out a lot this year with some of my own goals, which maybe you’ll get to hear a little bit about in this interview, but before we get into it, I wanna tell you why you need to stick around and listen to this interview, right? So here are three things that you want to know that should entice you to wanna stick around and listen to what Matt Mayberry has to say. Number one, we’re gonna talk about how to use all the things that you’ve gone through in your life and how you can actually use those to help you leverage success and influence in whatever you’re doing right now.
AJV (01:45):
Now, I think this is really important because for most of us, there are things that we have gone through in our lives that we don’t actually talk about, but it’s those things that endear people to us. It’s those things that help us build trust, whether it’s with clients or employees or with friends and family. And by just simply embracing those things and sharing them, they not only help you build trust in the marketplace, but they actually help you build your business. So that’s number one. Uh, number two, you wanna stick around if you have any desire now or later in the future to write a book or write a second book, um, to speak consult, train, uh, right. For, uh, very, very well known publications. If any of those things are going, like, how’d you get into that? You wanna stick around for this interview and then last but not least if you or somebody who has gone through are going through or who inevitably will go through as serious life or, or career transition.
AJV (02:45):
And you’re wondering like, what do I do next? This is an interview that was literally curated for you. So that’s why you wanna sticker out. And we’re gonna cover all of that. I’m like 50 minutes. So it’s gonna be, be jampacked now without further. Anddo let me give you just a little bit of background on my very special guest, Mr. Matt Mayberry. So Matt is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker. He does leadership development. He speaks on culture change, organizational performance. He’s actually been named one of the top 30 leadership thought leaders in the world. Like that’s huge, not in America in the world. His insights have been on all of the big name brands, Forbes, Fox news business, insider NBC at ESPN. Let here learn a little bit about his background with that. Um, but more than that, like he works for huge global corporations like Phillips 66, Allstate, JP Morgan chase, uh, fifth, third bank, the FBI, like even the FBI is hiring this guy. So y’all like, give it up for Mr. Matt Mayberry. I am so excited to have you, Matt. Thank you so much for being on the show today.
MM (03:58):
Hey AJ, thank you so much for having me I’m really excited for today.
AJV (04:01):
Yeah. And so here’s, so here’s what I wanna start. Cause I know that, um, many people all around the world know who you are, but there might be many people in our audience who are getting to meet you for the very first time. And I know that even in this question, I’m going to learn things about you that I did not know before this call today. So here’s where I’d like to start is just, how did you go from where you were? Right. And it’s like, I know I have the privilege of knowing that you had this opportunity to play in the NFL, right? But even prior to the NFL, you had a lot of life events leading you on a certain path and a trajectory then that got you to the NFL. Right? And I’d love for you to talk about the path to the NFL, but then you took a really stark pivot, a career change into what you’re doing now. And I’d love to know is just like, give us a little bit of your background. What got you to the NFL and then what happened there? And then tell us a little bit about what you’re doing now.
MM (05:00):
Yeah, absolutely. Thanks AJ. You know, I, I think for me, my journey to help, you know, give some context and clarity for everybody. I, I think that anytime you hear, you know, former professional athlete or even former collegiate athlete at a very high level playing division one, you know, whether that’s football or basketball, I think the first assumption is that that individual was destined from a early age that they were gonna be a professional athlete in the next LeBron James, or, you know, Brian Och or Ray Lewis. For me, that wasn’t the case. I, I, I certainly was a gifted athlete, but really starting at the age of 14 years old, I started hanging around with the wrong crowd. Um, you know, I grew up in Dar Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago, which I live in downtown Chicago right now. But for me, my life starting really from that age on all the way up to I was, you know, really 17, 18 years old was a full blown out drug addict, two near death experiences.
MM (05:51):
My own mother, the woman that brought me into this world that I love so much has seen me do cocaine five times with her own two eyes, uh, broke my father’s ribs on multiple occasions when he would confront me about why I was coming home past curfew and, and really my best sport growing up, believe it or not was baseball. A lot of people thought that I would be drafted straight outta high school, skip college and go play in the major leagues. But I got kicked off my baseball team cuz I got caught stealing one of my teammates wallet it’s one afternoon while the rest of my team was out, you know, at practice I stayed behind because when everyone was getting dressed, I saw all this cash that was sitting in one of my teammates, wallets. And I, I stole that money cause I thought about all the drugs that I could buy and the rest is history.
MM (06:33):
I got kicked off my baseball team, uh, and, and things were really bad for me in that point in my life, uh, so much so that my high school was gonna expel me. If I didn’t go to a drug treatment facility for at least one month. And even though me or my parents or, you know, people closest to me, never thought that I would be a professional athlete, even though that people around us would always say that I had the potential to one day be that I certainly had a lot of opportunities from the high school administration because I was a gifted athlete. Uh, for example, I probably got more opportunities. Uh, second chances, third chances, fourth chances that maybe the next person wouldn’t have gotten because I did have that talent. Uh, quite frankly, they should have expelled me right then and there, you know, it, it shouldn’t have been an ultimatum where, Hey, Matt, go to this drug team facility for one month.
MM (07:22):
We’re gonna give you an opportunity to get sober and get your life in order. And maybe, maybe you’ll be able to come back to school and you still have football, right? So you can utilize that. And, and for me that was a turning point in my life because, you know, I always say that, you know, an individual can change their life. In one of two ways, they can either get inspired by some monumental event. They can get inspired by the, uh, hustle and bustle of life. They can get inspired by an audacious goal or dream that they have that’s near and dear to their heart, or they can change their life out of desperation. And for me it was desperation. Uh, this for me was really my turning point where I didn’t wanna put any more tears in my mother’s face. I, I didn’t want to experience another near death moment where my mother, father, younger brother and all my aunts and uncles and cousins were gonna be in the hospital room, thought that they were gonna lose their son, their cousin, their brother, that particular day.
MM (08:18):
And I, I remember very vividly when I went to that drug treatment facility. You know, I didn’t go to change my life, but I, I I’ll never forget the moment that changed at all. It was, I never believed any epiphanies or moments in time that could drastically alter one’s life until that moment and experience. And I came home and had the opportunity to eat dinner with my family one evening. And I has to be excused after maybe 15 minutes of sitting down at the dinner table and I went to take a shower. But the turning point for me was when I had the strength and courage for the first time, really in three years, at that point in my life to look myself directly in the mirror, I looked back and, and I, I saw just what a terrible human being. I was all the hurt that I caused and my family members, my friends, the people closest to me, my grandparents who loved me so much.
MM (09:05):
And, and for me that moment, I, I still remember it to this day. And I got goosebumps on my arms right now, talking about it, you know, for me that was the turning point that changed at all. Hmm. And I, I never believed in moments in time or epiphanies that can, that can just change it all for one person. Right. I always thought it was an accumulation of events. And for me, it was obviously there was a lot riding on that one particular moment, but it was that moment of looking myself directly in the mirror and seeing what a Demonn and terrible miserable life I was leading that really just made me go back into my room and say, okay, thi this isn’t how I wanna live the rest of my life. And I, I guess you could say from there, the rest is history.
MM (09:43):
I still had football. So I made a major goal of, I, I want to get a division one college scholarship. I want to have new friends. I wanna get rid of my drug friends. I, I quit the drug cold Turkey, continued through the drug treatment program, got faster, uh, went to college football camps. I, I think one particular summer before my, my senior year, I think I went to over 45 colleges, uh, where my father drove me all across the country, just going to their camps, meeting the different coaches. Wow. And I ended up going to Indiana, had a great career there. And then obviously I had an opportunity to play for the hometown team, the Chicago bears, uh, which I did not have the eight year, nine year NFL career that I had hoped for. And at this point it was a monumental event for me in my life because here’s the hometown kid, drug addict, overcame, you know, that period of his life, hometown, newspaper.
MM (10:37):
I mean, all my friends, family, everyone ate it up. But for me, I got hurt in a pre-season game. And what was projected was which in my eyes, I thought I was gonna have this very long fruitful career. I was gonna set my family up for success. One game, one dream, completely shattered in, in one, one moment. Uh, I was not able to come back from that injury, playing the San Diego chargers out in San Diego, California. And for me, that was my career. Um, and , you know, in that moment I was so broken because football’s a very violent sport. And even though that getting hurt in the NFL and playing a violent sport like football, I couldn’t do anything about it. I still viewed that particular event as a failure. Um, everything was riding on this moment. I finally get to this, this moment after all of this self destruction and all the failures I’ve been through. And then boom, just like that. I, I lost that dream and, uh, to make this story shorter, that’s what helped me really cultivate and, you know, just really discover my passion that I get to do now, which is travel all over the world and deliver keynote presentations and consult and advise leading organizations, particularly as it relates to leadership performance and cultural transformations.
AJV (11:53):
Yeah. I mean, wow. Like that’s so crazy. Like we could spend the rest of our time today, just talking about that little part of your story. Um, but there’s two things about your story that I think are really applicable to our audience that I wanna kind of like talk about is one you’re pretty open and vulnerable and transparent about all these different things in your life. And I actually, I believe that’s probably one of the things that makes you so sought after is that it’s not about all of your successes. It’s about all the things that you’ve gone through, Phil, the failures and the successes. Right. Um, that really make you so personable and relatable. And so I’m just kind of curious for you cuz I know being in this industry and honestly just being a human being, most people don’t wanna talk about all the things that didn’t go well.
AJV (12:47):
Um, because we all have them, right. I have a whole dark closet of dirty secrets that it’s not awesome to like put out there. Right. But at the same time, that really is what makes us who we are. And so I would just love to hear from you, it’s like how much of your story do you build into everything that you talk about? Why is that important to you and why do you think that helps people when they’re building their career to actually cover all the story? Not just the parts that make you look really good.
MM (13:20):
You know, that’s a fantastic question, AJ. I think for me, I had to learn the hard way. You know what I mean by that is when I did get injured in the NFL and I got asked to speak at a leadership event, you know, I, I didn’t have the really desire to do the work that I’m doing now. It wasn’t like I wrote this down on a piece of paper and said, Hey, when I’m done playing football, this is exactly what I want to do. Um, you know, for me, I got asked to speak at an event and really for the first two years of me speaking, when I knew that football wasn’t really gonna be a part of my journey moving forward, I didn’t talk about the things that I just shared. And I’ll never forget a moment where I had a mentor who knew my story kind of knew what I overcame from an early age.
MM (14:01):
And he said, why don’t you ever talk more about your struggles and all the challenges and obstacles that you had to overcome throughout the course of your life? And I said, why would I share that? Why would I share the, the, the, the darkest and deepest secrets that really only my friends and, and closest relatives knew and the, the people that were a part of that journey? Why, why, why would I talk about that stuff? And he said, watch what happens when you do mm-hmm ? And I’ll never forget the very first event I was in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I was speaking to 500 educators. I’ll never forget where the very first time I told my story, uh, very in depth. I, I planned it a little bit rehearsed a little bit, but at the end of the day, I just shared very openly. I was so vulnerable in that moment.
MM (14:45):
And I shared my whole story. And I think for the very first time at that point for two years, I was speaking, it was one of the first times I’ve ever seen really a whole entire ballroom full of tears. And afterwards I saw the transformative effect of me sharing my story and me Bo being vulnerable as a man and, and really saying, Hey, you know, our deepest and darkest secret sometime can really be the gateway of discovery and purpose and fulfillment and passion for other people in the audience. And, you know, turning point could, because from that moment, I started to really adopt that approach of sharing more of my story, sharing more of myself. And now I know that no one wants to hear my successes and my successes are relatively small to everybody else in this space. And I, I think the big thing that does separate me is my story, my DNA of how I got to where I am, because those are the characteristics that really make me who I am. And every single person that is listening to this podcast or in the audience of a speech, even if you’re not a drug addict, everyone’s gonna lose a loved one. Everyone is, you know, experiences, divorce goes through a difficulty we’ve all experienced the past three years with COVID 19. So everybody can relate to overcoming challenges and how you coped with that. So that that’s really what I took away from being vulnerable in sharing my story, AJ.
AJV (16:08):
I mean, I think that’s really, really important just to touch on again for anyone who’s listening. Um, and I just, I love what you said. It’s like, and I, I love your humility too. It’s like, actually you have pretty awesome accolades, Matt. But with that said, everyone has some sort of professional accreditation or award or something that we can talk about what we’ve done. That doesn’t really differentiate us. What really differentiates us are those unique stories that no one else has, even though they might be similar. Right? So, um, actually my best friend, my high school, best friend childhood best, friend’s been my best friend for almost 30 years, just recently got out of a 90 day, uh, rehab program. And your rehab story is very different than hers, but the point is like, it doesn’t matter what we go through. It’s like, it’s our unique take the lens in which we made it through the struggle that other people latch onto that, you know, they are like, man, it’s like, I just needed to know someone else has been there.
AJV (17:18):
I just needed to know I’m not alone and feeling this way or going through what I’m going through. And it’s like, that’s really what people need more than. Let me tell you about the, you know, MBA, CSP, CPA, all the things behind our names, cuz that doesn’t really tell a story. It doesn’t really create any sort of trust or engagement as much as man. Let me just tell you my story. Let me just tell you what I’ve been through. And so my question to you and to anyone who’s listening, what I really want you to hear is how do you decide what parts of your story to include, where to include them, how to include them. And I ask for the benefit of everyone listening, because these are questions that we get from our client community at brain builders group all the time where it’s like, well, how much do I share? And or, and how, and it’s like, there’s a part of it of going, there’s the story that you tell so that you can make a point versus making it just a, you know, an autobiography on stage. And so I’d love to hear your take on how do you know what stories to tell and how do you know where to use ’em and how to use ’em to actually help somebody else?
MM (18:35):
Another great question. I, I think, you know, and again, I had to learn the hard way when I first started, it was kind of me getting on stage. And even though I was telling maybe in an emotionally charged and powerful message, it still was really about, let me tell you about Matt Mayberry mm-hmm , but obviously as time evolved, I’ve really been doing this for 11 years now. And you know, now it’s really dissecting it’s understanding who, who is the audience? You know, who am I in front of, if it’s a group of 600, you know, senior executives, right? It’s gonna be very different than me talking to 400 or 500 exec, you know, educators at, in high school. Um, you know, so for me it it’s really being able to take different bits and pieces of my story, but it all starts with the audience and, and what are the overall objectives?
MM (19:20):
So before every speaking engagement, let’s say, you know, I don’t just have two or three calls with the event, organizers. I try to have five or seven, uh, to where I’m talking to different members. I’m talking to not only the organizers that are planning that, but I want to talk to some of the attendees. I want to be able to walk in their shoes and know their challenges and kind of what they’re going through. And then I take that back and really integrate bits and pieces of that into my story. But for me, even when I’m telling my story, whether it’s overcoming the drug addiction, whether it’s getting hurt in the NFL, it’s not just me sharing you about Matt Mayberry’s journey. It’s about using that learning experience in my journey to drive home, drive home a relatable point that is really hopefully gonna be an actionable takeaway to improve their leadership or their organization or their culture or their team. So for me, that revolution probably started eight years ago, very early on when I was like, I’m just speaking about myself, even though I, I think I’m relating to people a little bit more than I was, I need to shift some things around. So for me, I, I, I think the biggest piece of advice is you have to be relentless, almost obsessive with, it’s not about you. And I know everybody says that, but you would be very, very shocked at how very few speakers actually are obsessive,
AJV (20:36):
Not shocked at all.
MM (20:37):
, but because it is hard to do, it’s hard. It’s really hard to do. It’s hard. It is. But I think that you have to start there because once you start there, when you are preparing, when you are rehearsing and you are having those discovery calls, before you go to an event, you can take your message and kind of tailor it for that particular event. Uh, and you’ll know where the parts of your story are gonna be very relevant for that audience because you’ve done all the legwork. Pre-event.
AJV (21:04):
I mean, I tried not to be so obvious when my mouth fell open. When you said five to seven calls, cuz it’s like, we always do a pre-event call, but I don’t think we’ve ever done five, six or seven. Like that’s extraordinary. Talk about feeling prepared and knowing the audience that you’re stepping into.
MM (21:24):
Well, it wasn’t always like that though. AJ
AJV (21:26):
. I mean, that’s, that’s like, wow, that’s
MM (21:29):
Amazing. You know, for me, I think that is the, the is the consultant inside of me. And I’m sure we’ll talk a little bit about that. But I think for me, uh, the key noting at consulting kind of simultaneously feed off one another. So, but really on the keying in just the speaking side of it, if I’m just delivering a 60 minute speech, I, I think over the years, probably the past five years, the, the consultant inside of me is really cultivated where I apply that same, you know, mindset and focus to all the keynote work. So it wasn’t always like that. But within the past five years, I’ve really gotten aggressive with that.
AJV (22:02):
Yeah. Well, I would love to know just because I, we do have such a strong community of people who identify as coaches, trainers, consultants, speakers, what do you do on these five to seven calls? Like, are they all the same kind of outline with just different people or what do you do on five calls?
MM (22:19):
You know, it’s it’s so it’s it’s first, the first two to three calls will be with the event. Organizers. I want to have a very firm understanding of what the event’s for, why they’re having it, what they did last year do is this an event that they have annually? Is it quarterly? I’m really getting a basic understanding. You can do that typically in one call, but I kind of like to, you’ll be very surprised if you ask the same questions in call number two, they’re gonna give you a completely different answer almost. So I, I typically like to start there with the two calls and then from there it’s meeting with different leaders of the organization. So if I’m talking with, let’s say the CEO and CEO and CFO for one of the calls call number four, five will actually be with frontline managers who are gonna be in the audience for that particular event.
MM (23:04):
Because even though the CEO and COO maybe is telling me one thing, maybe the frontline managers have a completely different challenge that senior executives don’t even have a clue about. So for me, it’s being very and thoroughly prepared about, uh, really, really, really deeply understanding what is success to them because every pre-call is gonna entail. These are our objectives, this is why we’re having the event. But if, if you take it a step further and really push for, how do you want your audience to feel when Matt Mayberry steps off stage, what do you want them to do? And what do you want them to think about? Just those three questions is a complete game changer and really gives me a framework to kind of take back and into my preparation to really deliver a speech that is very tailored for that particular audience.
AJV (23:57):
That’s so good. And I think, you know, like the big takeaway that I just hear and what you’re saying is that you have to get to know your audience and that doesn’t matter if you’re a speaker consultant executive. It’s like if you’re, you know, an employer, right, your audience is your employees. I think that’s a really great reminder for this very interesting time that we are living in and working in right now. It’s like, when you better get to know your audience, cuz if you’re not somebody else’s and they’re doing it fast.
MM (24:27):
Absolutely. And I learned that very on, you know, because people do have more inspiring stories than me. Uh, there are people who have way more business experience than me. There’s plenty of people who run more successful businesses than me. So I had to realize, you know, what is my uniqueness? What is my uniqueness? And how can I exploit that, uh, in the service of others is which I heard that first from your husband, uh, RO Vaden, the great RO Vaden , uh, and for me it was combining football and realizing that the same DNA, the same characteristics, the same focus to build the successful football team is the very same ingredients and framework that is needed to really drive business success and perform high at the business level. It’s combining those two, but then also integrating my story. Um, and then the preparation of being an athlete. So those four things combined really have been my kind of DNA factor moving forward.
AJV (25:23):
And I love that. It’s like, it doesn’t matter what you do, it’s figuring out what your uniqueness is and then leveraging that to differentiate yourself. Like, I mean, that’s the heart of like what people are looking for to begin with. It’s like, what makes you different from the speaker last year or from, you know, the consultant next year or whatever. It’s like, what’s that it factor that makes you you, right. I love that. And I actually, I think it’s so awesome that you do so many calls and you know, like what I heard in the back of my head is like, man, this is really good sales and marketing, right? It’s like, you’re building relationships with these people. You’re getting to know their culture, right. You’re just, you’re prepping up for, how can I stay integrated into this company, into this organization long after I perform a keynote on stage
MM (26:09):
And you, I mean, that’s really it, AJ. I, I, I think this now at this point in my career, I mean, that’s really a, a keynote for me if I’m doing a keynote, uh, the, the purpose of that keynote. I mean, obviously I get compensated very well for my time delivering a keynote. I love it. I love the energy. Uh, but at the end of the day, it really is that gateway to open a relationship for deeper, more ongoing work where now, I mean, some of my clients, we’re going on four years of, of wor working and partnering together. So for me, it’s not just to have a call to understand the audience it’s to truly set that relationship open, to continually add more value and maybe even over deliver than what they’re expecting.
AJV (26:50):
Absolutely. We’ve always said, uh, internally our internal moniker, uh, is that speaking is our paid prospecting.
MM (27:00):
Absolutely. Couldn’t have said it better.
AJV (27:02):
Um, it’s always been our paid prospecting. There’s very few times and the in life where you have a captive audience trapped in a room forced to listen to you for an hour. So it’s like you better over deliver. And when you do, there’s a lot of benefit that can come from it. Right.
MM (27:19):
Absolutely.
AJV (27:20):
Um, so I wanna talk, so I wanna talk a little bit about what you actually talk about just because I think this is really timely for where we are in just American work culture. Um, because you talk about leadership and culture and, you know, organizational performance. And we can, I can use all these other fancy words, but like, ultimately it’s like, I would love to hear some of the conversations that you’re having with leaders, entrepreneurs, organizations, whoever it may be around how to lead right now, or how to create culture in a virtual working environment, which a lot of companies still haven’t really figured out, or just, how do you like get optimal performance out of a whole team, not just an individual, so you can take any one of those topics and go, I like that one. Uh, but I would love for you just to speak some wisdom into, you know, what you talk about for your profession, what you love talking about. Like, give us, give us some insight what’s going on out there. Why is everything crazy?
MM (28:22):
Absolutely. You know, I think one of the things for me that I, I really talk lot about now is, is humanizing leadership. And, and what I mean by that is you would be very, very surprised and shocked if you just went, walked into an organization, let’s say you’re walking into an 18,000 person organization. And you interviewed all of the direct reports for, let’s say maybe 17 leaders on the executive team. And if you sat down with those direct reports and asked them, how many times a week, a week or month are you getting one on one frequent check-ins about not only your performance, but also how you’re feeling and development opportunities to advance your career and frequent check-ins about how you’re feeling in your wellbeing. Nine times out of 10, those direct reports are gonna relay back to you that they’re either not happening at all, or they’re happening very rarely, maybe twice a year.
MM (29:14):
So for me, it’s all about humanizing leadership. I think a lot of times our first assumption is to, I need to inspire with vision. I need to lay out this strategy. We need to focus on execution and all that stuff is very much needed. I mean, there, there’s no under minimizing that, but I think the first part is, I mean, you have to humanize leadership, you have to lead with empathy. You have to be vulnerable about what people are experiencing and going through in their personal life, as well as the professional life. And I think the more you can, you can bring that humanity in, into your one-on-one interactions with your direct reports and really, really prioritize it. Uh, even before you do your strategy or go to market route. I mean, to me, that is when you really, really start to create transformational performance, uh, in a team environment.
MM (30:01):
Uh, one of the other things I talk about as it relates to culture specifically, because that type of leadership does benefit culture. Uh, but, but really one of the big things that I do in my work is lead cultural transformation. So an organization let’s say is they went through a merger five years ago and this merger has caused some cultural friction. So they’ll bring me in to kind of not only revamp and enhance their current organizational culture, but also completely define and remodel a new culture and how that ties to the performance of what that organization does. And, and one of the very first things we do is we define their culture. And what I mean by that is, again, if you ask the employees of an organization, what is your culture here? Nine times outta 10, you’re gonna get someone to rattle off the core values.
MM (30:49):
You’re gonna say, Hey, are on the website, our mission statement set that that’s not culture, right? That that’s maybe a fabric and part of culture, but culture is really behavior at scale. It’s what everybody in their organization does when the CEO is not there it’s behavior at scale. It’s how we behave, what we believe and the experience that’s created both internally and externally. So for me, it’s, it’s really helping that organization define their culture. You know, what industry are, are they in? What is their uniqueness? Who do they serve? And, and really, what do we want our organization to consist of? Like, what do we want the core of our DNA to be all about? Because once you define that culture, then you can worry and work on the behaviors, connecting the values to behaviors, right? Because having a core value is just one piece of the puzzle.
MM (31:39):
That value has to be a daily behavior that has lived across the organization. So, so really for me, those are the two of the big things that I, I talk about AJ. Uh, and then the other would be just on the job transformation. And what I mean by that is there’s so many books and articles written about leadership, let’s say, but when you look under the hood of an organization, particularly larger organizations, you’re gonna find that all of their leadership development training, everything that they do, as it relates to enhancing the performance of their managers and leaders is not related to on the job performance. Mm-hmm, , you know, there’s a big difference between watching a five, 10 minute instructional video on how to be a better leader. Mm-hmm, compared to actual on the job training, that’s gonna enhance your leadership performance. That’s gonna enhance the performance of your team and your direct reports, which in return is gonna benefit the organization at large. Oh
AJV (32:38):
My gosh. I could go on so many tangents right now. Um, I’m gonna try to like brain myself in, cuz I, I could really go on a very long tangent, so, okay. I had three ahas, like three, like little epiphanies as you were talking. Um, and one of the things that I think is really important for anyone who’s listening in, to me, it doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO of a fortune 500 company or you’re a small business owner with five employees, or you’re a solo entrepreneur. Like there are elements of this that pertains to you, no matter what, or if you’re an employee stayat home mom or anything, it’s like, we all lead something. We just don’t treat it that way. But there’s something that you said about this on the job training and performance that I’ve noticed this trend in, uh, just haphazardly over the last 10 years is, you know, I left corporate consulting four years ago or it left me, I don’t know. Um, but separated from that four years ago and we started brain builders group. And one of the things that I had realized, and I’m just curious how much of this that you see is that it’s being outsourced to virtual learning and video trainings and tutorials and this whole concept of the metaverse and VR and all this stuff that removes every piece of a human element and pretty much every piece of on the job training from it.
MM (34:04):
Right. So
AJV (34:06):
I would love to hear your take on that.
MM (34:08):
You know, you’re, you’re absolutely right. And I think that the organizations that rely solely on outsourcing it are the ones that, you know, either will be distinct in 10, 20 years, or they’re gonna go through massive restructuring or their performance is gonna negatively be impacted dramatically in the market, uh, compared to the organizations that they do, classroom learning, they utilize zoom, they do, you know, AI, they, they have all of that that is coupled with on the job performance. And, and I think that that is the big indicator of, of really impacting and transforming the actual business performance, because that’s what we’re all in business for. I mean, unless you’re running a nonprofit, you have to be profitable. You gotta grow that profit every single year. And quite frankly, if you’re a publicly traded company, you have to also have the right perception on wall street.
MM (34:59):
And, and I, the way to do that is you have to really impact on the job. It goes back to football. You know, you don’t train to be a better football team by just watching film. You have to go to practice every single day. You have to take what you learned in the game, you know, in the film room. And then you have to apply that on the practice field, you have coaches that tell you don’t step left here. You need to make this right adjustment and go this way. And, and the same applies to leadership, same applies to business and you are right. I think one of the big misconceptions the past, you know, I would say five, 10 years has been, you know, we can spend our time better elsewhere. And my, all of my job is spent with leaders and, and executives convincing them that no training on the job needs to be your number one priority.
AJV (35:47):
Yeah. I love that so much. And I just, I know that that’s been like a huge increase that we’ve doubled down on this year with our team. And one of the things that I had found is it’s like the more virtual you go, the more distracted you can become, because there’s just so many different things buying for your attention. And one of the things that we have done over the last six months is for our, you know, community director who trains, all of our strategists is we’ve stripped away every single task off of her plate, other than being with our team. Like, that’s your job. It’s like, if it’s not that it needs to go. It’s like, you know, what we used to say is like, whether you spend time with paper or you spend time with people and your job is to spend time with people and this.
MM (36:31):
Yeah. But you guys did a very key thing there. And I love, I love that. I love that so much. AJ is you said, you know, we, we took all the things off of her plate. You know, she had to focus on that one priority and that’s, that’s the number one thing that most organizations do, uh, that, that really inhibits their performance and really declines the, you know, the growth that they’re looking for, because they’ll tell their managers and their leaders that we want you to be in the market, coaching your people more, but we’re just gonna continually dump all of these priorities and all these things on your lap and say, they have to be done by next month.
AJV (37:03):
, that’s what we were doing. That was us . That was us to be clear. That
MM (37:08):
Was us. It’s a lot. It’s it’s everybody. But you also learned from that and, and course corrected, which I think is very, very important.
AJV (37:15):
Yeah. Well, you know, to, I think, uh, the lessons in life, it was the hard way but lessons just have to be learned the hard way as long as you learn it. Right. Um, but I love that. And I just, I think that’s just back to anyone who’s listening, it’s like, it doesn’t matter what it is that you’re doing. It’s like, you actually have to do it to be good at it. Right. I remember when we were early on in our, you know, careers speaking, um, one of our mentors, uh, Eric Chester told us constantly the only difference between a good speaker and a great speaker is a thousand speeches. Yeah. So do a thousand speeches and don’t look up until, and it was just that repetition. Right. And I think that is a lot of, you know, professional athletes in sports, right. We were, you know, just listening to, um, they, we just had this gentleman on our podcast who was one of the personal coaches for Kobe Bryant.
AJV (38:12):
And he was talking about, you know, Kobe’s, uh, work ethic and discipline. And although Kobe was clearly very naturally talented, he just outworked everyone else with his workout routines. And he would start, he would do three workouts a day when others were doing one or two and he would go in at 4:00 AM. And as he was leaving, you know, the other teammates were coming in at 6:00 AM and he was already done with his first workout. And it was just that discipline of repetition creates excellence. Um, but it’s that consistency part. And it, and to me, that is just no matter what. And it’s like, you are a fairly new parent
MM (38:54):
Noah, fairly new and married. I was no, not, not, not yet.
AJV (38:59):
Okay. I was like to say for some reason, I thought you guys had a new baby, but, um, I’ll just I’ll relate this to parenting. I don’t know why I thought you had a baby. Um, but it’s like, I just remember, uh, when we were in parents for the first time, so we have a five year old and a just turned three year old. So we’re still very new parents don’t get me wrong. We do not know what we’re doing. Um, the survival mode every single day, but I just remember somebody saying, just, just be there. I just be there. It’s like, you’ll figure it out. And it’s like, well, do I need to, like, what books do I need to read? And like, what classes do I need to take? But it was like that concept of like, no, a lot of this, you just have to learn it on the job. No book is going to prepare you. No class is going to prepare you for the insanity that you’ve just signed up for. It’s on the job training. You’ve got to learn it by doing it. And I think most of us today, we wanna learn it without having to actually do it.
MM (39:57):
Right. You know, I, I couldn’t agree more with you. I think that it goes back to the, kind of the, the old adage of, you know, everyone wants to achieve the dream without doing the work. And I think that at the, you know, for me, like every single year from my, my friend mutual friend that we have John Gordon, uh, you know, he wrote the book, the one, you know, one word and, and this year, my one word is process. And I think at the end of the day, I, I think one of the things that I’ve been so benefited by being an athlete for most of my life is, you know, going to the practice, just doing the daily work, going through the grind and, and understanding that it’s not even about the wins and losses. It’s about every day showing up and improving at your craft, whatever it is, you do getting a little bit better for that particular day.
MM (40:40):
And there’s two types of people. The, those that will think that that is cliche and yeah, you know, there’s, there’s a way around it. There’s a way around it. While the others, as you mentioned, Kobe Bryant, they’re doing the work and every single day, it’s about the process. It’s not even about wins or losses or increase in profit. That’s a goal. And that’s something we want to do. But at the end of the day, it’s all reverse engineering that to the present moment. And how can we maximize the process, the journey, which quite frankly, at the end of our lives is really what’s gonna matter most.
AJV (41:12):
Yeah. I love that. And I just think that’s so universal and you just really can’t hear that message enough. It may be said a million times. And for most of us humans, we need to hear it a million times more. You just can’t hear it enough. It’s like consistency matters doing the work matters, taking shortcuts do not help you in the long run. They really suck. Um, okay. So I’m watching the clock. I’ve got two more quick things for you. And I love this conversation so much, um, culture, you said it’s like culture is just behavior at scale. And I think that’s so good. And that’s so fascinating. And so, um, two things on this. So one for anyone who’s listening without doing like a formal assessment or, you know, hiring someone like yourself, it’s like, are there any quick tips that you could give to somebody that could just take a look around? And I’m gonna say the culture of your company, the culture of your household, but it’s like, how can you see, how can you recognize the culture that is all around you that often has been created accidentally or UN unintentionally. So how do you observe culture in the way that you described it as behavior at scale?
MM (42:27):
You know, that, that’s a very interesting question. And I think culture in and of itself is very fascinating. And I think one of the reasons why is because, you know, culture, you, you can’t see it, but you can certainly feel it when you walk into an organization. yeah, it has a, that’s true. It has a dominant culture, uh, very positive, uh, team members know what the vision is. They are, they know the strategy, they know where they’re going. They know what they have to do and team members, they have great wellbeing and they’re, they’re their expectations. They know what’s required of them every single day. You feel that when you walk into that organization, when you sit in on a team meeting, you, you just feel that energy mm-hmm and vice versa. Uh, so I think one of the things, you know, that you can start, whether it’s a small business, if you only have three team members or five team members, or even, you know what, I deal with a lot of the larger to medium organizations where 19,000 to a hundred thousand people, um, you know, are the leaders and managers of that organization, are they living those values?
MM (43:24):
And then it’s also putting a behavior next to that value. That’s what a lot of organizations don’t do the very first piece to actually building a great culture and identifying, are you living up to this? Well, you can’t just have the, the word trust on your website or say that trust is the core tentative of who you are and what you do. There has to be an actual daily behavior next to that. What does trust look like in your organization or your company? What does it look like? Like very simply clarify that make a concise statement, a daily behavior that is actionable, that is related to that value. And every single month, simply it could be done survey based. It could be done, uh, an accountability, which I use scorecards where a lot of the organizations I work with the senior level executives, there’s a scorecard that’s distributed to their direct reports on asking them, is this value, is this behavior currently being lived on a monthly basis?
MM (44:20):
And then we get those results back. And it’s very fun from there because there’s some leaders that don’t like, what, what we received back from the direct reports. But I think one of the things that you can do regardless of where you are, is, are, is that being lived mm. Is that being lived and it could be even be your personal life. You know, if you have a, a value or you have a core characteristic of, of who you make, what makes you, you is that constantly being cultivated and lived. And every Sunday evening, before you start a new work week, you know, is, is this being lived in everything that I do?
AJV (44:56):
Hmm. That’s so good. You know, I’m, part of this is super, um, selfish because we have our own, uh, quarterly leadership retreat coming up in a month and I’m like, write down all these exercises. This is what we’re gonna be doing this quarterly leadership retreat. Um, because I think it’s, it’s so true. It’s like core values and culture are really different and a culture is, and I love this definition. I’ve never heard that of, you know, behavior at scale. And often it’s like core values are statements that live on a website, but there aren’t really lived every day. Um, and that’s just because without intention. Right, right. Um, that’s the whole idea, like what’s the culture that you want to have versus the one that you do have and how do you start curating and creating that. And I think that’s really important, not just in a, a company perspective, but in a client company perspective too.
AJV (45:50):
Right. And it’s like, you can feel it. Like I was actually, um, we have this family Bible study that we’ve committed to this year. Um, and we meet every Sunday for four hours and it’s a family Bible study. Yeah. It’s a commitment. Um, but it’s awesome. And we’re reading through the Bible together. And one of the conversations that we had just two days ago is how there are parts of the country just talking about the United States that you can feel the culture, right. It’s like, they’re, you know, it’s like, you know, Southern California has a feel to it. Absolutely. New York has a feel to it. The south has a feel to it. Um, and it’s like, I liken company culture to personal reputation. It’s like, how do people feel in your presence versus how do you want them to feel in your presence?
MM (46:43):
Absolutely. And another thing I think, as relates to, you know, culture real quick, AJ, cuz it also kind of revolves around personal reputation and, and also the work that you guys do at brand builders group is, uh, being very clear on expectations. I, I think from both a as an influencer author speaker perspective consultant, you know, stating the services and the value that you provide is very different than constantly going to your clients and your customers and your partners and asking, are you consistently, are, are these expectations being delivered? Mm-hmm and just being very upfront. I mean, it’s one of the most powerful things that I think I do is just constantly getting that feedback. And now I’m at a point where that statement is yes, but it wasn’t always that way. But the information I would give from that is just has, it was astronomical at the time.
MM (47:35):
And I think on the reverse for leaders and managers, one of the, one of the most awesome exercises that I have them do, and this is, this is a complete game changer because in healthy cultures and very positive and thriving organizational cultures managers with their direct reports, there’s very clear expectations, but most organizations you walk into, even if an employee’s been on the job for 20 years, 20 years, I see it all the time. And you ask them, Hey, in your role, your particular role where you are right now, where you’ve been for the last eight years, can you tell me that top eight biggest priorities day to day mm-hmm and they’ll write down a list and then you go to their manager and their manager, you have them write down a list of their top eight priorities. The very neat thing about that is you bring both of those lists together without E either one, knowing what was written down on each list and in very healthy cultures, those two lists will be very, very, very similar yeah. In disconnected cultures where there’s silos and there is negativity, there is no cohesion. There is not much belonging. There is no clarity about the vision and strategy there. You’re gonna have two totally different lists. Mm
AJV (48:51):
That’s so good. Um, and I think if you’re not taking this as your own takeaway, you should take it. It’s like, you should do these own exercises for yourself if you’re listening. Right. And it’s like, I like literally have like a page to do items of like, you’re this little direct reports, right. I’m going, are we on the same page? Right. Because that starts to emanate in every single thing that you do within the company and then in your client relationships. Right. So, um, okay. I know we only have like three minutes. So before we wrap up, I just wanna make sure everyone, um, knows where to go if they wanna connect with you. And so if you wanna connect with Matt, the central place to connect with Matt Mayberry is to simply go to his website, which is Matt Mayberry, online.com. So Matt Mayberry, online.com. You can learn about consulting speaking. Um, he’s got an upcoming book. You definitely wanna learn about that. You can follow him on different, uh, social media platforms that Matt Mayberry online.com. So with the last couple of minutes, um, I just wanna do two quick things. Um, and then we’ll wrap this up. So one, give everyone just a 62nd preview of your second book that you’re finalizing the menu script on. So when’s it coming out? What’s it about?
MM (50:08):
Yeah. So it’ll be out February 1st, 2023. And it is called culture is the way how leaders at every level can build an organization for speed impact and excellence. I’m, I’m very excited for that book. Uh, it really dives into some huge misconceptions, a little, some of the stuff that we talked about here today, but it goes even a little bit deeper. Uh there’s case studies in that book of some of the clients that I partnered with over the years of, of taking them through actual real life, cultural transformations, the results, and also laying out a, a strategy and, and really framework that leaders and managers, regardless of your industry and your organization, how you can implement that into build a world class culture that truly as AJ talked about, feels amazing, which will help you attract top talent, but also drive significant results in the marketplace.
AJV (51:01):
Mm. I love it. So culture is the way, love that title. So coming out, um, to an online store near you, what, what, February, 2023, uh, we’ll put that in the show notes, but just make sure you connect just the hub again, go to Matt Mayberry, online.com to connect with Matt and stay tuned with that. And then the very last thing I wanna do, I just thought this was so fascinating. Cause you had all these like little things in your bio and I always think it’s cool for people just to get to know you a little bit. So, um, you said that your personal interests are sports. What’s your favorite sport?
MM (51:34):
My favorite sport is football.
AJV (51:36):
Okay. What’s your favorite team?
MM (51:37):
My favorite team is unfortunately the Chicago bears
AJV (51:42):
Fortunate or unfortunate depending on where you live. you said reading, what’s your favorite book?
MM (51:48):
Ooh, that’s a tough one. Uh, my favorite book, uh, I will have to go off of one that I just recently read, uh, that I really, really enjoyed becoming super natural by Joe Spencer.
AJV (52:00):
Oh, very good. Becoming supernatural. Okay. Love that. Um, then you put the arts. What do you mean by the arts
MM (52:07):
Just different, you know, I’m a very creative person, believe it or not, because most people don’t take former athletes. Uh, macho men is very creative, but for me, it’s just, I, I love paintings. I, I love going to art galleries. I love, uh, you know, everything about the creation process, uh, you know, going to watch comedians going to, uh, you know, just watch the mechanics of musicians for me. It’s just, I’m, I’m a huge fan of creative in the arts and, and really bringing all that creativity and innovation. And really, for me, it’s all about the energy into my own life.
AJV (52:41):
I love that. All right. Last one. I know that you’re relatively newly married in the last couple of years, so I’m gonna still say that you’re a newlywed, what’s one lesson that you have learned about yourself from being married.
MM (52:56):
She is always right. , um, you know, it’s, uh, you know, that for me, it’s, uh, that is really one of them, but, uh, it, it’s also that patience, you know, and working together as a team. And I think even a lot of the stuff we talked about here today, it’s that transfers over to marriage as well. And, um, you know, I think you and RO are a shining example of that. You know, it’s, it’s built building a life together and the process, you know, let’s build a business and also do great things with our lives together.
AJV (53:24):
Ah, I love that, Matt. I love talking to you. I love learning from you. Thank you so much for being on the show and thank all of you guys for listening. Stay tuned. Uh, next time for another episode on the influential personal brand. We’ll see you later.
MM (53:40):
Thank you, AJ.

Ep 334: Reinventing Yourself for the Next Big Thing with Former NFL Player Clay Harbor

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:53):
Hey everybody. And welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand. This is AJ Vaden here. And I have a friend on the show today with me, clay Harbor. You guys are in for such a treat. I’m about to give you guys a my version of his bio, my version of what you should know about clay, but let me tell you first why you need to stick around for this episode. So if you have ever gone through some sort of what I’m gonna call a change in identity, right? You could call it an identity crisis. I don’t think that’s what clay went through, but it’s a change of identity, right? So this is the show for you to talk about how do you take, you know, a large portion of your life that was leading up to this moment, and then how do you take all of that transition?
AJV (01:42):
What you’re doing, reinvent yourself, reimagine who you are, and then kind of like re-engage back into the marketplace. That is what clay is doing. That’s what he’s been doing. That’s what so many of us do at some point in our lives, both personally and professionally. So if you have ever found yourself in a pivot point situation of like, this is what I was doing up to this point now, what am I gonna do moving forward? This is an episode that you wanna stick around to also, I would say, if you wanna know how to grow maximum exposure and your online platform, by doing unique things that are out of the ordinary, this is also a show that you wanna stick around and stay tuned for. Cuz we’re gonna talk a little bit about that as well. So now let me introduce you to my friend, clay Harbor.
AJV (02:32):
Here’s some things that I think are fascinating, that you would wanna know is one at clay as a nine year NFL veteran, like nine years is a long time in NFL and my opinion but you were also a college hall of Famer at Missouri state, right? So pre pre NFL you are a nationally sought off speaker. You are a personal trainer, you’re a coach. You have so many cool things in your resume. But one of the things that I think is really fun and just unique are some of the things that you don’t have in your resume. Like I’m surprised that you don’t have in here that you also, you had a stint on the bachelorette like that’s how that did make it in here. I think that’s really interesting. I think also the things that are in here that really are so awesome about you is that you are so humble.
AJV (03:23):
Like you are so humble. You do not talk about all these amazing accomplishments. You do not talk about all these awards you’ve been featured in all major sports media. You’ve done brand deals for anything from bud light to American airlines. And those are not things that you ever talk about, right? Those are some of the things that people will hold at the pinnacle of their career and you don’t even mention them. . So I just love that about you. I love getting to know you for those of you are listening clay and I are newer friends. We have a lot of friends in common that we’re so blessed that clay is a part of our brain builders group community. And I’ve gotten a chance to know him and wanted him to be on the show today to talk about what it’s like to go through these unique transitions in life. So clay, welcome to the show.
CH (04:12):
Wow. One introduction. I appreciate you having me, AJ. And you, I just appreciate the opportunity to talk to your audience here and, you know, have a conversation with you. And I appreciate everything that you and Rory do and have done to help me really figure out exactly what it is I want to do and to structure that. And I think that’s a good lead in to his conversation is, is, is structure because when people ask me, how do I go from, you know, playing in the NFL for being in college, you know, just working towards this goal my whole life and just identifying as NFL player. Okay, your career’s over. I have a couple injuries now, what, you know, for me it’s what do I wanna do now? And that’s a question that I had for a long time, and I didn’t really know exactly where I wanted to go and just figuring out old, old school way of writing down the things that you enjoy doing and going to brand builders.
CH (05:07):
And the first thing they have is go, what are you an expert in? What do you enjoy doing? You know, what do people come to you for? What kind of advice do people coming for, come to you for? And having all these questions really helped me to figure out where I wanted to go with my brand after the NFL. And for, for that, for me, it had a lot to do with, you know, habits and routines and, and, and things of that nature. So that was big for me. And that’s what I wanted to really chase.
AJV (05:34):
Mm. I love that. And that didn’t start in the NFL. Like that started way before the NFL for you. Like that’s how you got to the NFL. So one of the things that I would love for people to get to know about you is like, what do you think that it takes to create the extraordinary results that you’ve achieved in and outside of professional athletics, but, you know, super specifically like making it to the NFL is a really small amount of people, right? That’s, that’s extraordinary talent, but more importantly, it’s extraordinary discipline and habits that are gonna both serve anyone really well during their professional sports time, but then also way after. And so I, I think it would be really cool for you to tell people, like, how did you get to the NFL?
CH (06:23):
It’s funny that you you, you already brought it up in my opinion is is habits to me when I look back at everything I did and, and how I was able to succeed. Cause you go back to college. Obviously I have a natural ability. I start to realize in college early on, but it’s not much different than a lot of the other guys I’ve seen. And people have asked me this, you know, there’s a lot of guys out there that can run and jump and play football. What made you go from the same level that these guys for you to keep improving and to keep moving and improving, to, to get to the point where you’re in this smaller college, Missouri state university, haven’t had a draft pick in 20 years from Missouri state university draft in 20 years before I got drafted there hadn’t been one draft pick and I got drafted in the fourth round, the Philadelphia Eagles.
CH (07:08):
And that itself was a huge accomplishment for everybody in the, in the area. Wow. How this guy from Missouri state do this? And I’ll tell you, AJ, it’s, you know, it’s, it’s simple but not easy. And that is you have to have habits. You have to have discipline and you have to have a routine for me. The thing that really kept me on track was having a knock out routine from the time I woke up to, I would look at my day and say, how can I fit in all these things I need to fit in? I gotta make sure that I’m eating healthy. I gotta make sure that I get this workout in. I gotta make sure I work on catching the football. I gotta make sure I work in on blocking and that can work in any sort of environment that you’re in and any job you’re in you, you improve, you get 1% better every day.
CH (07:53):
And then by the end of the year, you’re 37% better than you were at that the beginning of the year. So for me, it was getting 1% better every day, always changing my routine to be as effective as I could. And I just kept getting better as a freshman. I got better as a sophomore, better as a junior. And I got to this point where I was a really good football player in college. And then you get drafted and go to the NFL and you you’re back to the bottom of the total pole again. and it was tough. You have to make the team, you don’t automatically make the team. So you have to reevaluate. You have to get a whole new routine. You’re in this routine for four years in college. Now you have to reset. It’s like, you just got a new job.
CH (08:28):
And I do the same thing. I go through my routine and I fix it and I make it the best I can you go through these position battles, highly competitive environment, but you just gotta focus on yourself. That’s why I made sure to do. I focused on myself. I focused on my routine and I made sure I was disciplined. I wasn’t the most talented guy, but I was a guy that had put in the most time and could fit the most things in my day because I had that routine. And that’s how I improved and players that were better than me. That only lasted 2, 3, 4, 5 seasons. I was able to last night, I was able to take care of my body and, and be able to put myself in position to where I could take care of my family and, and things I’ve always wanted to do coming from an underprivileged background. It was always in the back of my mind to be able to take care of the people that were, you know, important to me. And that’s what I did. It was all about habits, routine and discipline.
AJV (09:18):
Wow. You know, you said something that really stuck out to me. I one, I love all of that and I think it’s so true. It’s like talent can only get you so far. Right? It’s like, you’re gonna have all the talent in the world, but if you’re not gonna apply that in a focus direction, it there’s a limit to that. Right. but you said something, you said, I focused on myself. So whether or not you meant this or not, this is what I heard. It’s like, yeah. I wasn’t comparing myself to other people. I was focused on what I was doing, not what other people were doing. So can you talk a little bit more about, you know, both in and out of football, like the power of just like, you know, putting blinders on, right. It’s like stay focused on keeping the main thing, the main thing, and that is not what everyone else is doing. It’s what you’re doing.
CH (10:01):
Absolutely. The most important person you can compete against is yourself. You’ll look on online. Or for me, I see some of these speakers, these guys, these athletes that I’ve had better careers in. And I see their, you know, they’re getting booked at maybe this gig, this gig. And I go, I have a better story. I’m a better speaker. You can’t focus on that. You gotta focus on yourself. How am I gonna improve myself every day? There’s the same thing in football. I look at these tight ends. These other tight ends, when I’m drafted, I say, I can do everything they can do. Why am I not getting this opportunity? Then I just focus on myself. And then that shows you put the time in and you keep working. You keep repeating things over and over again. You have a good habit. You have good routines, you have discipline.
CH (10:40):
That’s gonna show. If you keep showing up day in and day out, you start to stack these days. And that’s when you improve. You’re not gonna improve in football. You’re not gonna go from a rookie to a pro bowler. You know, it’s gonna take you a little bit of time. Maybe sometimes, you know, guys will get lucky with a big catch or a big play, or, you know, in the speaking world or the business world, you’ll come up with just one big idea, but that’s not common. You know, what’s common is you’re putting in the hard work day in and day out. You’re improving a little bit every day, a little bit every day. And then you look up six months later. Wow. I’ve I was back there, you know, six months you look back, I was a guy that was barely making the team.
CH (11:19):
Now I’m a starter. And that’s when you keep going and you keep going. And the next thing you know, like my, my college career, wasn’t playing at all as a freshman, barely got in the field, improve, improve. Wow, I’m on the field. Now, as later, later in my freshman year, I’m playing sophomore year. Next thing you know, I’m an all American. And I look back at, at everything that I did to get here. And that was just a day in and day out. It didn’t happen in one day mm-hmm . I didn’t go from a, from a guy who was getting a little bit of playing time to a starter to a, to a three time, all American in one day to an NFL draft pick. Literally the secret it’s simple, but not easy. Like I said before, the secret is in the day to day, the secret is in the routine and the secret is in consistency.
CH (11:59):
You gotta consistently show up just like my time as a fitness coach, you know, I’m a certified personal trainer. I’m a certified as strength conditioning coach. You are not gonna see results in a week. When you keep showing up. My mom has lost 50 pounds in the last three months. Wow. Cause I finally got her on a routine in a program. She walks a mile every single day. I explained to her, your diet, your walking, your activity level, everything comes together. Now. She feels so much better. She’s able to walk and play with the grandkids. She’s able to travel with me when I go see my brother and all these things. But she, she took a day, a day, a day, a day. It’s you’re not gonna wake up and it’s not gonna happen. That’s why I try to explain to people is it’s the day to day, every day routine,
AJV (12:40):
You know, it’s the exact same thing with building a personal brand establishing yourself in the marketplace, building a business. It’s like, none of this happens overnight or in a, a week or a month or in a year for most cases. This is, you know, it’s what they say. It’s like anything worth doing takes time. Yeah. Right. It takes time. And it’s that discipline and consistency of showing up that I think that’s huge. You gotta show up,
CH (13:03):
Showing up is the number one thing. You go back to me and my fir my personal fitness brand. And when I’m, when I’m doing that, here’s what I tell people. If you, if you can only go to the weight room for an hour, go for that hour. It’s like in, in school, if somebody fails or somebody’s not getting the grades they want, it’s because of the missed assignments. If you get a 0% and then you get a hundred percent, you’re still only at 50%. Okay? So now you go back and you get a 60%. That’s not good. I mean, you still might be failing that day or, you know, you’re barely passing, but that 60%, and then you come back and you have a really good day. You get that a hundred percent. Now you’re an 80, you know, you go from a 50 to an 80 just by getting, just by showing up in the weight room.
CH (13:42):
When you miss the days, when you have the days where you don’t do it, where you’re not focused, you’re not gonna do any work. Those are the days that sets you back. If you can just sit down and do some work, you keep moving forward. Cuz every day improves. You improves you when you stay still and don’t do anything. That’s when you go back down and when you, when you start to, you know, you start to fail and whatever your business is, whatever your enterprise is, it’s your health, your fitness. If it’s your speaking business, you gotta keep moving forward. And you don’t miss days. That’s if you just show up every day, the discipline have that routine, you show up. That’s when you start to see the improvements,
AJV (14:16):
Oh man, we get in this podcast right now. That is so good. That is so much truth because it, it is like, it’s like you can apply that to your finances, your health, your marriage, your relationships your, your platform. It’s like, you know, I think about, as you were talking, we have a, a good friend of ours who is recently named one of like the sales influencers of the year on LinkedIn and oh wow. It was a really simple formula. He posted a content video on sales every single week for about 18 months.
CH (14:49):
Yeah,
AJV (14:50):
It was. I mean his content, clearly it got better. His skills get better, but it wasn’t like, it was that different. Yeah. It got better, but it wasn’t different. Yeah. It was consistency. He showed, showed up. He gave value and the more he did it, the better he got, but it was, he showed up and he goes, I’m committed every Wednesday. I’m gonna do this video. I’m gonna post it. If it helps one person it’s enough for me. Yeah. And then it was helping 10 and then a hundred and then a thousand and then a hundred thousand. Right. But it was consistency. I think the challenge is how many of us want it right now? Yeah. It’s instant gratification. We don’t wanna wait. We don’t wanna put in the work. It’s like, we want it now. And we want it. All of it right now.
CH (15:30):
Yeah. You got, you gotta be consistent. You wanna grow following on social media, your platform, it’s consistency. It’s consistently posting and doing things like that. What I always say is people is sometimes it’s better. I know some, the people tell me, well, I don’t know when the right time to do it is when should I start? And I always tell ’em this. I go a great plan. A good plan today is better than a great plan tomorrow. Mm-Hmm if you just get started, you don’t know exactly what to do in the weight room. You know the fitness, you go in the weight room and you get started. You’re gonna figure it out.
AJV (16:00):
Yeah.
CH (16:00):
You’re gonna, you’re gonna get some pretty good and you’re gonna keep getting better and that’s gonna exponentially improve you. If you’re trying to work on social media, you don’t know exactly. You don’t have the perfect aesthetic. Hey, start, start right now. Start posting. You’re gonna keep getting better and that’s gonna help you to improve in your business and your speaking business. You know, it’s, for me, it was like, I don’t know if I’m ready to do these, to do these events. Oh, Hey, I’m ready enough. And I’m going to learn and keep getting better. A good plan today is better than a great plan tomorrow. So you start doing it and then you see yourself improving, you see yourself feeling more comfortable, then you’re, then you’re ready to go. Everything’s firing. You can set up your routine, you know what to expect. And that’s another thing that gets you going, you gotta get started and you gotta stay consistent.
AJV (16:43):
Ah, so good. I love one of our good speaker friends. Eric Chester always tells us and reminds us, he says the difference between a good speech and a great speech is a thousand speeches. Yeah. That right. It’s doing it. Yeah. It’s just doing it right. It’s showing up. It’s being consistent. It’s putting in the work. So, okay. So I wanna talk about, I’m gonna change, you know, change chords just a little bit. And I wanna talk about kind of this, this pivot moment that you went through, not all that long ago when your NFL career ended and now you’ve got post NFL life of all right. Now, what am I gonna do? So can you take us back to that? And because I think a lot of people in our audience are struggling in one of those pivot moments of, you know, they’re in a full-time corporate job and they’re trying to pivot too.
AJV (17:34):
It’s like, I wanna go out and do my own thing or I wanna start my own business or maybe they have their own business and they’re looking at evolving it or selling it or starting something new, or maybe they’ve sold their business. And they’re like, you know, what does chapter two look like for me? And what do I want to be known for? And, and I can just personally say, like, I went through this in 2018 of when we had our separation from our former company. And yeah, I was known for 15 years. As a sales consultant, I was really good at it and was making a lot of money at it. Yeah. But I looked up one day and I was like, I don’t wanna be known for somebody who helps companies increase their top line and bottom line. Yeah. Like I don’t, I don’t wanna look 15 years from now and go, that was my legacy.
AJV (18:19):
That’s how people think of when they think of me as they think of me as a sales consultant, I don’t wanna be known for that. And so it was a, an intentional shaping of how do I, how do I even wanna be known in the marketplace? And it’s a, and I think anyone who’s going through a major transitionary time has gotta look themselves and I, and go what what’s next? And who am I? Right. Who am I? I’m not this. Who am I, so can you gotta walk us through, like, what was that journey like? And how did you kind of get to where you are today?
CH (18:49):
Yeah, no, that’s, that’s a very good question. And that’s, that’s something that I like helping people with. It’s a journey that was difficult. And for me, it’s a journey I’m still going through. I think every day, it’s, you know, it’s something that you, you, you gotta figure out for yourself is, you know, am I happy where I’m at and what I’m doing and, and is this the path that I wanna be on? And I, I’m happy that I’ve finally figured out exactly what I want to do. And I want to thank you, firstly, and Rory for helping me a lot with that with brand builders, but I’ll go back to 2018, you know, NFL, I think I’m still playing. It’s a little different for me because I wasn’t ready to get to end. I’ve played this long career and I wanna keep going. And I get injured during a workout, which I would’ve got signed with a, with a team, the Buffalo bills, I’m on the field.
CH (19:33):
I’m working out. If I’m healthy in shape, they’re gonna sign me. I’m running a route. I’ve ran a million times. I run the route I plant, I cut. I end up tearing my groin. So now that’s tough. I go to the doctor, I see ’em out for six, six months almost with this groin tear. And you know, I missed the whole season. And now it’s a question thing for me. Do I want to continue working to get back to the NFL or do I want to move on to something else? And for me, icontinue to try to try to go back to the NFL. I got some calls that didn’t really go for me. So then I try to figure out what I want to do next. And going through figuring that out. I’ve, I’ve went through the fitness stuff. I love fitness, but what I really decided is what do I, I want to help people and I can help people with their health and wellness.
CH (20:21):
And I still do that and I can help people with their story. And I think that I have a story that really could move people. And that’s what made me decide what I wanted to do for other people. It’s gotta be a passion when I’m on stage. And when I’m speaking, I’m speaking to kids, I spoke to a lot of football teams, obviously being in that, in that space and a lot of high schools, colleges, and just speaking to them and telling them how I did what I did, how I got from here to there. And then underprivileged kids coming from an underprivileged family to become, you know, what I’ve become. And my brother who didn’t play in the NFL and he was able to do the same thing and our parents never graduated high school. My brother’s got three master’s degree and he’s working on the doctorate.
CH (21:02):
You know, he was the assistant director of, of the assistant director of academics for university of Colorado for five years. And now he moved on to start his own high school as a principal. And he just passed his superintendent exam. Now he’s gonna be a superintendent of a big of a big high school. And our parents didn’t graduate. Didn’t graduate high school. So using those steps and me and him uses the same strategies I used. We work on a daily routine. We have positive habits, he’s got three kids, a wife, and he’s still studying to do his doctorate. And the guy works out six days a week. Where do you find the time he’s got a routine that helps him through that? But I think that’s number one thing is finding something you’re passionate about and, and using that field when you’re going through this transitional phase and really sitting down and it’s like, you learn in brand builders, write down what do people, what would people say you’re good at?
CH (21:52):
What do you enjoy doing? What are the, the main things that people come to you for advice? And when I started, started thinking about that, and I realized that is how I’ve become so successful. How did you do this? How did you shape your body in the certain ways of fitness professional? How did you, you know, make the NFL and gain all that weight? When you had to go from a wide receiver to a tight end, you had to be at a certain weight and I’ll tell ’em, it’s, it’s simple, but not easy. It’s a routine, it’s a discipline. And it’s, it’s, it’s that. And going through that transitional phase, those are the questions I ask myself. And that’s what really helped me to decide where I wanted to go. And obviously, natural, what are you good at naturally? What’s something you enjoy doing. That’s a big question, cuz you don’t wanna go through life. Even if it is very lucrative, you want to be good at what you’re doing and you wanna, for me, I wanted to make an impact in other people’s life. And those were the questions I asked myself and that’s why I went to the direction I did. Mm
AJV (22:49):
Man. That’s so good. It’s it always makes me think about like how long was I doing something that I didn’t love doing? Yeah. Just because I was making a lot of money. Yeah. and that was my truth. It’s like I was not happy doing what I was doing for a minute before. I actually wasn’t doing that anymore. And I, my story’s really similar to yours. It wasn’t planned or expected. It was really unexpected. But I needed it. I needed a, I needed like, you know what they say? It’s like they needed, I needed an abrupt change in my life for me to do a, a full evaluation. But I hadn’t asked myself, what do I love doing maybe ever.
CH (23:29):
Yeah.
AJV (23:29):
Until 2018, it’s like, I started doing something. Got really good at it. Just kept doing it. Yeah. But never in like 15 years that I stopped to say, what do I want to be doing? Yeah. What do I want to be known for? Yeah. and so I’m kind of curious, like for you today, like, do you have an idea of what you want to be known for in this next phase of life?
CH (23:52):
Yeah, absolutely. I want to be known for someone who’s a servant to others, someone that spends his time and energy to help people better themselves. And you gotta do that by first, you know, bettering yourself and then you help people find that path, that same path that you did to improve yourself. And if that’s for business, if that’s for health, that’s something that I’m really passionate about. And just going from where I grew up going from where I started from to where I finished and my story and my brother’s story and my family’s story and things like that. I wanna see those results for a lot of people, for more people that can get out of this perpetual your perpetually, like your poor or whatever. And I want you could, there’s ways that you can improve yourself and help your whole family’s future. And that’s what me and my brother really took tar.
CH (24:47):
We would talk as kids. I mean, these aren’t normal conversations kids have. I remember me and my brother sitting up and talking to each other, how we’re going to buy mom a house and we’re gonna help dad get a car and help our family and our grandmas. And we’re having these conversations. And you know, we put these strategies at the time. We didn’t know exactly what the strategies were, but that’s what we were using. We were using that routine. We were using habits and we’re being consistent and that’s what we did. And that’s what I really am passionate about doing, because I did it. Anybody can do it. Maybe you can’t be an NFL player and play nine years in the NFL, but you can be successful at what you want to be in, be at be if you use these strategies, if you use these habits, if you use a routine and you use discipline,
AJV (25:30):
Man, I, I love this so much. And it’s like, you and your brother you’ve changed your family tree. Yeah. It’s like, that’s, I mean, that’s gonna, that’s a legacy. That’s gonna go for generations.
CH (25:43):
Like that’s. And that’s what we’ve always talked about. Yeah. Is our family for so long, we’ve been underprivileged, you know, for so long, going back, both sides of our family nobody’s ever went to college, you know, and we both graduated college with good grades. And my brothers, obviously he had better. He was better at the school, the classroom stuff than I was, but it’s, it’s looking back and seeing what we were able to do just gave me so much confidence that I could really help anyone. If you use these strategies and you do these things to get to where we were in their specific career. Me and my brother have reached such a high level, just doing these simple strategies of having, just having a routine, getting up at the same time every morning, you know, making sure you get your workout and focusing on your health and wellness, just having these routines, having these habits, always having a book, we’re reading, always having a project.
CH (26:34):
We’re working on something to keep bettering ourself. My brother, if he, he always has this allotment of his schedule, he’s always learn working on some project, whether it’s a certification, whether it’s another degree, whether it’s something he’s always bettering himself. And that’s something I took. That’s why I became a certified personal trainer, a certified fitness coach, certified strength conditioning. I just applied to Kelly business school just to have that allotment of something to do to always better yourself, find your routine, find your schedule, keep it going, keep moving forward and keep showing up. And that’s when you look back and a year down the road, tears down, there you go. Wow. That’s where I was.
AJV (27:12):
Yeah. So why do you think it is that people can’t do that or don’t do that?
CH (27:18):
Well, it’s, it’s, it’s difficult. I always say it’s simple, but it’s not easy. And that’s a lot of things. Why can’t people stop eating junk food? you know, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s simple, but it’s not easy. Don’t eat that for me. You gotta come up with certain strategies. Don’t have that in the house. You don’t wanna watch Netflix. And you, you know, when you get home, you can’t, I gotta watch this show, unplug the TV, sign on a Netflix. You make it difficult for yourself to do these things. And these are strategies that happen. It’s not just a single day where it clicks and it’s gonna be easy and you’re just gonna do it. You have to go through it every day. You want to go to the weight rooms like you’re happy. You’re gonna go there every single day. There are some days you are for some days you’re oh, I can’t wait to lift.
CH (27:58):
But the days that matter the most, the times that matter the most and your habits and your routine is when you don’t want to do something, you show up anyways, you don’t wanna go to the weight room. You end up getting yourself in there. You really wanna watch this and that. You don’t wanna open the book and do this project. You do it anyways. And there’s there’s habit stacking things you can use in certain things that me and my brother use when in college I used to, I used to be a video game guy. I wanted to play Xbox and I look back and go, what am I doing with this time? What, what am I getting out of this? I gotta stop playing, but you’d go home after practice. You’re tired instead of studying, instead of going to get a little extra workout and working on your craft.
CH (28:38):
So now what I would do is I’d unplug my Xbox. I’d put my controller up high somewhere that unplug my TV. So now when I do get home the next day, man, if I wanna do Xbox, guess what? I’m gonna have to go find my controller, plug in my TV, plug in my Xbox and sign in all over again. So now it’s like, I might as well just do this. And there’s little tricks that we’ve always helped each other do and use and that way. And there’s a lot of those, those things that we’ve done. And that’s what a lot of, lot of everything, the things I speak on is, is how those little tricks can help and, and, and just help you to improve and make you more consistent. But it’s just goes back to showing up every day.
AJV (29:19):
Yeah. That’s those are so many good little nuggets in there and you know, it’s a, it’s about removing the temptation, right? Yes.
CH (29:26):
Yes.
AJV (29:27):
You wanna lose weight? It’s like remove all the bad food from the house. Yes. Donate it. Give it away. Get it out of the house, right? It’s like unplug your TV, right? Yes. Turn your phone off after hours. All the hide, your remote, right? It’s like all those little things of like, you have to learn how to remove temptation, right? Absolutely. That’s temptation
CH (29:51):
Bundle something. One thing my brother does is something I’ve, I’ve always loved is he, he has a couple shows. He has to watch. Only time he can turn on Netflix is when he is on the Peloton or when he is riding a bike. So you don’t wanna work out. Okay. If I, if I work out, I can watch this 20 minute show this 30 minute show. So then he’ll go work out just so he can watch the show. You know, you bundle things that way and that’s an improvement. You know, maybe it’s a 1% improvement, but those 1% improvements add up and they keep you showing up and they keep you improving.
AJV (30:24):
Oh my gosh. There’s so much richness in that of, and that could be applied to whatever it is in life. Right? Yeah. It’s, I’m I’m reading a book right now called the ruthless elimination of hurry. And one of the statistics in this book I thought was fascinating and it said that the average American reads roughly 200 words a minute. Right. if that’s true, if that’s true and you were to read one hour every day for an entire year, you would actually be able to read almost 200 books in a year.
CH (31:00):
Wow. For one hour.
AJV (31:02):
Yeah. For one hour a day. Wow. at the average rate of reading. Yeah. Words a minute then. So think about that 200 books. Yeah. And like my goal this year was a book a month and I’m on track and I’m like, so proud of myself. Yeah. And then I read this and I’m like, oh man, I have a long way to go. They have a long way to go. And I’m a really fast reader. I bet my average reading speed is twice that. And I’m like, oh, what am I doing with my time then? And so it really forced this internal reflection of how am I choosing to spend my time? Because when I say I don’t have time, that’s not true. I’m giving my time to things unintentionally that are sucking up all my time instead of them on the things that I should. So I thought that was amazing. But then these were the other two statistics that I literally put the book down and was like, you have to come here this like what? And these statistics and these were from two and 19, 2019 statistics. And so they’re probably even far more greater right now. Yeah. and so here was the next one, the next one said the average American and the course of a year spends 700 hours on social media.
CH (32:16):
Wow. That’s
AJV (32:17):
Twice what it would be to read one hour a day. So if we don’t have time to better ourselves, look at what you’re doing instead. So it’s twice the amount of time. That’s two hours a day. Yeah. In and off of social media. And I literally put the book down and was like, no effing way. And so I pulled out my phone cause you know how your phone can track your social time. Tell me what its, and it was like this like aha moment of like every like five minutes here, five minutes here, five minutes here. It’s like,
CH (32:53):
It adds up.
AJV (32:54):
Then this was the one that I was like unbelievable. The average American each year watches TV for more than 2000 hours. That’s two and a half times the social media. Not in place of, in addition to,
CH (33:14):
Oh my gosh.
AJV (33:15):
So think about those things when it’s like, don’t have time to get healthy. Don’t have time to lose weight. Don’t have time to do this. Next thing. Don’t have time to read. It’s like I say these things, right. I have two young kids. I have a two year old and I just turned five year old running into business. I’m like, I don’t have time to go do that. I don’t have time. Like yes you do. Cuz my phone just said, so my phone said, yo girl, this is how much time you spent on social media last week. And then I was counting up like how many hours of Bridger Tim did I watch? You know? And it’s like all these things. And it’s like, yeah, yes you do. It’s like, but we’re not consciously aware of our time is going cuz we don’t have a schedule. We don’t have a routine. We’re reactive. We’re living this default life of just letting everything fill up our time because we don’t have a regimented schedule and routine that we’re proactively trying to get better. Yeah. love that so much. That’s so good. And it is simple that it’s so hard, right? It’s so difficult. It’s so hard.
CH (34:10):
There’s some crazy statistics like I next next speech I give I’m, I’m gonna put those in there and there’s, there’s a time and a place for social media connecting. But that amount of time you need to work that into your schedule and you know your routine say, Hey, after I finish a project, I will give myself five minutes or 10 minutes to figure out social media. And that’s how you bundle it. And you make yourself, you can make yourself be extra productive with it. If you give yourself an allotment at the end of a project, you have your to-do list. You go down and I’m a big guy of having a to-do list. I know some people say yes, some people say no. Some people say yes on goals. Some people say no on goals. I’m big goals. I’m big to-do lists. That’s what’s helped me throughout my life.
CH (34:52):
When I’ve been the most productive is goals. To-Do list. And you put, you put your list up. Okay. Here’s are the most important things I have today. Okay. After I finish this, I will give myself five minutes here on social media. I’ll give myself five minutes here and that’s the way it should be. And that’s something I’ve implemented. And I know I’m cuz I, you know, I make, I have a business, a social media business where I, I do influencing, I do brand partnerships. I do consulting with some of these companies. So sometimes I’ll convince myself that what I’m doing is necessary and I need to do this for work. And I find myself just scrolling. I go, okay, what am I doing there? And you’re convincing yourself that you really you’re benefiting from that, but you’re not, you’re not being productive. And when you put it in, you fit it in after the end of checking something off your list at the end, okay. I I’m gonna work on this for an hour then to give myself five minutes. Mm-Hmm , that’s when you really, you really add your productivity and it makes you more productive. Cuz you know, after this you were going to get to that, that little dopamine rush you get from looking at social media.
AJV (35:49):
Yeah. I mean I have found for me, it’s like I have to set a timer. It’s like, if this is a part of my business, which it is, it’s like, yeah, but this is what I’m gonna allot to it every day. Yeah. Set the timer. Cause otherwise that’s true. It’s like you just start scrolling and you’re like, oh wait, what was I doing? What was I supposed to be doing?
CH (36:05):
absolutely.
AJV (36:06):
Somehow I’ve ended up on the revolved shopping website and I’m like, that is not what I’m supposed to be doing right now. Focus back on track. I love that. That’s so good. That’s so wise. That’s so smart and it’s so applicable. No matter what your business is, it’s like, I think it’s a really great task for anyone who is listening to this show right now, just to take a quick inventory of what are you doing every day? Like do you actually have a schedule? Do you actually have a routine for your personal brand, for social media, for podcasting, for learning, for reading, for improving, for creating content, right? It’s like gotta have a schedule. Otherwise it’s like that just the, the at entirety of the urgent, right? There’s always gonna be something that’s urgent. That’s happening that fill, fills up this time that you’ve set aside unless you protect it.
AJV (36:51):
And I think that’s so applicable universally. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing as a parent, an entrepreneur and athlete doesn’t matter. Okay. All right. I’m gonna switch gears. I have two other quick things that I wanna talk about before our time runs up together. So one of the things that you did that I think is really fascinating that I did not know about you until well, well, after we were friends and chatting is you have this stint in the reality TV world. And you know, I was, and this was like, you know, six or seven months ago. And I was like, oh, I didn’t even know that about clay. And then I was like mine. And then one of our, my friends was like, do you not know how many like followers he has that are like just all these women that were like crazed for him.
AJV (37:35):
And I was like, I totally missed this part of Clay’s life. I don’t know how I miss this. So here’s what I wanna know. It’s like one, why did you decide to do it? Yeah. Right. How did that help you grow your platform, grow your audience. And then two, what are ways like I think what I think what would be most interesting is to this audience is why, like, why do you think people follow you? Right. Because I think a huge part of this is just exposure. Right? That’s putting stuff in front of a group of people that you’re like, no, I like him. Yeah. Like I wanna see like what he’s all about, but then how do you keep that going way after, you know, in this case a show ends. So walk us through that. Why’d you do it? How did it help your audience? And then how do you keep it going?
CH (38:15):
Absolutely. So I wish that I would’ve been a part of brand builders while a long time earlier than this, you know, it would’ve really helped me in my journey, but you know, I’m here now and it’s really been great. So after I, when I go on the batch ride, it’s my, I know my football career is winding down and I’m starting to look and see, okay, what is going on afterwards? And as far as the bachelorette, I get contacted by these people. They go through my agent and you’re like, Hey, he’s still on the football team. Like we, this is all in the off season, you know, we’re very, we’ll let you do what you need to do. We just want, really want you to come on this show. And so I’m thinking I’m like, should I really do this or not? And I’m like, maybe there’s, you know, some things can come from it.
CH (38:59):
And one of my passions was announcing announcing football and being a commentator. And I had known a few ex football players, Jesse Palmer, friend of mine. He went from being the bachelor to being on the ESPN and all these shows, Jordan Rogers, same thing, football players are being announcer. I’m like, Hmm, these guys have really used this platform to jump into their second career. Yeah. And that’s kind of what I was thinking. I go, I’m single, I’m unattached. I’m I’m not opposed to meeting someone and dating and getting married. I, I do want that. I want a wife. I want kids. I want all of that. So I would be open to that. But then also I think that this can be a way for me to move into a second career. I didn’t know much about social media back then. I had a private Instagram. I was on Twitter for a little bit.
CH (39:46):
And I had a Facebook page that I was connected to. My family didn’t even know people made money off of social media at that point back in 20 17, 20 18. So I go on the show and I actually end up getting hurt on the show. Not, not emotionally, physically , you know, so I ended up, well, physically and emotionally, you know, I had to broke up. It was really heart, you know, warming tear. And but I actually broke my wrist on the show and it was, you know, kind of looking back, it kind of negatively affected my football career. But in hindsight is 2020. How would I know it’s gonna happen? Mm-Hmm how would the professional football player get hurt playing football on the bachelorette against a male model and a beer truck delivery guy. You can’t make this stuff up. So I ended, boy, it makes her good TV.
CH (40:32):
Yeah, great TV. So I ended up getting injured and whatever, and you know, I still go back to the NFL and that’s after that is when I tore my groin. It was kind of a, a spiral of things that happened. I ended up pull, tearing my groin in my workout. So after that, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do. And then I go on the the spinoff show called bachelor in paradise for same kind of reasons. I’m open to, I’m open to a relationship hoping that happens. But I think it’s a way at that point, I start realizing this is a way that you can get exposure and build your brand. Maybe I could jump into announcing things like that. And it’s really puts you in front of a big audience, ABC prime time, eight o’clock it’s a great opportunity if you wanna build your brand for the cults kind of.
CH (41:14):
Yeah. So that’s, so that’s what I did. I didn’t leave there married or engaged, you know, sorry, mom. She always calls me. She wants grandkids, but I’m focused on so many things right now, mom. If you’re watching this it’ll happen soon. I promise . So after that, you know, you get this, this audience. And then for me it was, you know, the people that like you and they follow you, they see your I’m posting a lot about fitness, you know, health and wellness. And you know, now I’m starting to post more inspirational stuff and, and do things like that. And that’s kind of how my journey went with the bachelorette and in gaining this big following. And I thought it was something that might, would disappear in a day. You know, you get these files, but it’s, it’s been pretty consistent and I’m surprised.
CH (41:57):
And I think you have to keep consistently working on it and it’s not something that’s gonna happen. Keep putting forth good content. And then you work with brands. I’d never worked with brands before. And then, then people like the content you’re putting out. They like how you brand yourself, what you stand for. And they keep working with you. I don’t have the most followers in Bachelor nation or anything like that. But I get a lot of deals with some reputable companies because of my brand health and wellness. You know, I I’m speaking on, on good things than just keeping your image and your brand is so important. These guys like, wait, I got better engagement. I got better, but you don’t have a brand. You don’t have something that you stand for. Yeah. So that’s a very important thing. When it comes to working with these companies and these people, when they want to hire you, it, it really comes back to your brand and brand building. Like I said, I wish I had went through some of these courses before I went on the show, but now I know more and more, you know what these companies are looking for, what these people wanna do when they’re hiring you, how do you sell yourself? That’s all things that I’ve learned from, from you and Rory and it’s, it’s been great. And I’m still learning.
AJV (43:02):
Yeah, I know. That’s so good. It’s you know, and a thing I love about this is a great reminder to anyone who’s like working to build their audience, build their platform. It’s like, you know, it’s like, you know, there’s, I know there’s so many things out there where you can like buy followers and you know, you can buy accounts now. And it’s like, why? Right. Yeah. What you really want is to be known for what you believe in, right. It’s to have a reputation that compliments all of your values and beliefs and, and I love what you said. It was like, really like this show was a way to get more exposure. Yeah. But you know, it’s like, but what they were getting exposed to is the real you, right? Yeah. It’s like, they’re coming, they’re saying I’m all about health, fitness, wellness, positivity, schedule, routines, mindset.
AJV (43:48):
And it’s like, although they met you here. Yeah. Right. They’re they’re following and staying with you because they align with you. They like you yeah. They’re, they’re getting value from you. They start to learn from you and trust you, which is why they stay. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. I mean, that’s not any different, like, you know, I follow Leo Messey and Christiana, Aldo, right? Yeah. World famous soccer players and Nashville just got our first soccer team. Right. We just, oh, nice stadium. And so I’m like really going all in on learning all things, soccer outside of my kids’ Peewee soccer. And so it be fascinating. Like, you know, Christiana Ronaldo has got the largest social media following in the world, in the world, almost 600 and 600 million followers across platforms. Yeah. Almost twice the size of the United States.
CH (44:41):
Oh,
AJV (44:42):
Wow. Enormous. Right. Wow. But here’s the thing it’s like, people first heard about him because of his amazing skills in his sport. Yeah. But once you go to his profile, he has hardcore health, wellness, fitness. Yeah. He a die hard health, nut nutrition. It’s about his family. I think they have five kids. It’s about a lot and commitment to his wife being a father. Yes. He talks about soccer and modeling and there’s lots of shirtless posts that doesn’t hurt him. I’m sure. Yeah. But it’s a lot about like what you put into your body exercising fitness routine schedule habits, right? It’s like people may have heard about him because of soccer. Right. People may heard, learned about you because of the bachelorette. If they were watching. Yeah. Know, people may have heard about me because of something, but if you can stay true to your brand, if you can stay true to the reputation that you’re building, and if you get clear on what you wanna be known for, then when people find you, it’s easy for them to go.
AJV (45:42):
Yes. I want more of that. Yes. I like this. Yes. I will follow this. Yes, absolutely. To engage with this. But if that’s not clear, then I don’t know what I’m coming for. Right. Yeah. It’s like, it’s the same. It’s like, if I would’ve come to your profile, you know, back in 2018, when you were on the bachelorette or whenever that was 17. Yeah. And you were just pictures of you and chicks all the time. I would’ve been like pass. Yeah. But if I would’ve come and it’s like, no, I’m looking for health, fitness, wellness, inspiration, motivation habits, routines. It wouldn’t have mattered where I learned about you from, because once I’m there, I’m like, that’s what I want more of.
CH (46:20):
Yeah.
AJV (46:21):
And that’s sounds for any of us. So it’s like the question is to everyone listening, it’s what are you doing to increase your exposure? Right. Absolutely. This was a great way of growing and building your platform. But it was in a way that was in line and true to who you were and what you had to be talking about already.
CH (46:40):
Absolutely. You gotta have that brand and that’s how you get, get an audience and keep an audience, a loyal audience. And, and even after, you know, the show, a lot of people, you know, a lot of the people that go on these shows are audience start to go down and dip and you’ll see people that don’t really have a brand, just keep posting themselves with, you know, friends or family and stuff. And you, you know, you gotta, you gotta give people a reason to follow you. And, and for me, it’s a lot to do with health and wellness. And now I’m really working on some cool things to do with the motivational space, the habits and routine coming out there. And I’m really excited to show people that side of me too. So it’s, it’s, you gotta give some reason, you know, what am I getting out of following this person of, of staying, you know, involved in what this person is doing. And if you give people something, you, you generally give them something that they, they can use, they will follow you. And, and that will, will help both of you.
AJV (47:33):
Yeah. You gotta give them some value, right? Like
CH (47:35):
Gotta give value. Absolutely.
AJV (47:37):
Like give value, build trust. Yes. Again, simple. Not easy. Yes. Alright. Last question, clay. And then I’m gonna let you go. What do you wish people knew about you that they don’t know right now?
CH (47:49):
That’s a good question, AJ. And you know, there’s, there’s quite a few things. I, I mean, I don’t wanna tell people that my, you know, my first love was, was trying to be a singer and I, my mom had to tell me, clay, you have a terrible voice and you’re never gonna do that. But that’s something funny, mom.
AJV (48:07):
Thanks.
CH (48:07):
But something that I, you know, I do we’ve talked about a little bit on the show is just where I’ve come from. I haven’t spoke out much about my, my history, my background, where I come from, you know, people see me and, you know, living a good life and taking trips and, you know, and living in a nice home or nice car, whatever. But I really want people to know that this is not something that I was given for me. It was all about discipline routine and hard work. And, you know, I was, I lived in a trailer with 12 people growing up. I didn’t have my own bed until I went to college, shared to bed with my mom and my brother. You know, this is where I came from. And this is what people can do. If you just have the habits that discipline routine you can grow and you can change your life. Even your family’s life, your, your family’s trajectory this way. Me and my brother, both it wasn’t just because I hit a home run and could play NFL football. You know, some people might say, oh, you got luck. You could play NFL football. Look at my brother. He didn’t play NFL football. And he’s doing the same thing
AJV (49:05):
He’s
CH (49:05):
Working. Yes. He, he’s working a great job. Him and his wife are, are doing very well financially. They have amazing kids. They keep bettering themselves. They keep this routine. They always have a project. It’s, it’s something that, that anybody can do. And that’s something I want people to know that I wasn’t given to me. I had to work for it. And that’s why I’m so passionate about getting my message out there,
AJV (49:28):
Man, clay, I hope this becomes a pivotal part of your story. I hope that one day for every kid, every young person, every adult who looks out there and says, woe is me. Yeah. Look at my situation. I can’t do anything about it. That would be able to then look at you and go, but yes you can. Yeah. But it’s hard work. It’s hard work. It’s discipline and it’s habits and it routine. It’s like, yeah. I love that you changed, you know, the trajectory of your family tree, you and your brother. It’s like, I would really love to meet your parents one day. Yeah. How proud of you guys, they must be. And man, I just, I love your story. I love your heart. I love what you doing. So honored to get, to know you and get to be a part of your story and your journey. Thank you so much for being on the show today. If people wanna follow you online, where should they go?
CH (50:19):
You can follow me on my Instagram clay HARs 82, or you could just message me on my website, clay Harbor, online.com. And if you want to just talk to me about possible speaking, gig consulting health and wellness training. My website, it’s all there. Clay Harbor, online.com. Social media, clay. Harbor’s 82 on Instagram. And yeah, I appreciate you having me on AJ. And I look forward to seeing you and Rory at, at the next brand builders event.
AJV (50:49):
Yes, likewise. And y’all, it’s like if you’re looking for a great podcast, host, go to clay Harbor online.com request him as a guest. If you’re looking for a speaker at your upcoming event, go to clay Harbor, online.com, check him out. You will not be disappointed. I promise I’ll put all these links in the show notes and we’ll catch you guys next time on the influential personal brand. See you later.

Ep 332: Build Your Brand by Building Your Audience with Amberly Lago

RV (00:00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:00:53):
Hey everybody. And welcome to the influential personal brand. This is AJ Vaden. Here I am one of your co-hosts along with my partner in crime, Rory Vaden. And today I’m always excited because we have such awesome guests, but I’m, I’m especially excited for our guests today because Amber Lee Lago is one of those people that even though we’re on zoom and she and I have never actually got to meet in person, you can feel the joy that just emanates from her being. And it’s like to honestly like your whole aura, just like brightens the room. And even when you’re over zoom, it still does that. And I just, I love to get to spend time with you. I love to get to talk to you. And I’m so excited to introduce you to our audience, but for anyone’s listening, if you ever had a friend or if you’ve ever known anyone that just being around them makes you in a better mood.
AJV (00:01:49):
That’s what you’re gonna get from Amber Lee today. So wherever you are, here’s why you need to stick around. You’re going to leave the next 45 to 55 minutes in a better place than where you started that I can promise you I don’t know all the amazing things we’re gonna talk about right now. That’s the beauty of the conversations that I get to have with Amber Lee. But what I do know is that you’re gonna be in a better place than where you are right now. So you need to stick around, you need to pay attention get out of pen and paper, right? If you’re driving, don’t do that, but listen intently, right? But this is one of those conversations that you just never know what you’re gonna get. And I feel that way every single time that I talk to you and I’m so excited to introduce you to our audience.
AJV (00:02:33):
So let me give you a little bit of a formal introduction so that I don’t forget any of the awesomeness that makes up all things, Amber Lee. So a quick, quick recap for all of you listening. If you are new to Amber Lee Lago, she is a peak performance coach. She’s a TEDx speaker. She’s a podcaster. Her podcast is awesome. I love it. She is a leading expert in the field of resilience and transformation, and she’s got a hell of a real life story to back that up. She is the best selling author of true grit and grace. She’s the founder of the unstoppable life mastermind. And I just love that title so much. We’re gonna talk a lot about this mastermind is its launching right now. But I think more than anything, what I love so much about you is you, you have this passion about you and what you’re doing and you have a real life story that goes along with it. And I think there’s a lot of power in having, you know, academic credentials and I’m not downplaying those at all, but for me anyways, in my life journey, people like you who have these real life stories mean so much more. And that is why I’m so excited to introduce you to our audience. So thank you so much for being on the show today.
AL (00:03:51):
Oh my goodness. AJ, I just love you. Did you see me kind of grabbing my arms when you started talking? It’s because I had goosebumps because when you were talking, I was thinking the exact same thing about you that when I see you even through zoom, I’m like, oh my goodness, you radiate joy and light. And just so I’m so grateful to be here and connect with you again and with your audience. So thank you for that most amazing introduction.
AJV (00:04:22):
Well, it’s all true. And I’m honestly, I’m, I’m so excited to introduce you to our audience and for all of you who are listening, you know, that we bring on really special guests that kind of like pull back the veil and kind of give up behind the scenes, real life perspective of how do you build a personal brand? How do you become known for something? How do you tap into that thing that we call personal branding, which, you know, to us is synonymous with reputation, but, and how do you build an audience and how do you find an audience and how do you become known for something that you wanna be known for? And so Amber Lee, this is where I wanna start just in case anyone listening doesn’t really know you. I would love for you to just give people a chance to get to know a little bit of your backstory, a little of your background, and like ultimately today, right? You’ve got this bestselling book, you have this awesome mastermind you’re launching, you’re a TEDx speaker. You’re an amazing podcaster. You’re keynote speaking. You’re doing all these things that you didn’t always do. Those things. Mm-Hmm . So give us a little bit of your backstory leading up to where you are today. Well,
AL (00:05:38):
That’s such a great question because I actually just had a conversation with someone who was interested in joining my mastermind yesterday. And she said, yeah, but Amberly, you have all these things because you know, you have this story that you can tell this story. And so, you know, basically it was easy for me to get to where I am. And I just wanna say like five years ago, I didn’t even own a laptop. So when you say you have a bestselling book, you’re a podcaster. I knew nothing about technology. And I remember that
AJV (00:06:15):
Is there. I wanna make sure people had actually heard that five years ago. Mm-Hmm you did not own a laptop.
AL (00:06:22):
Didn’t own a laptop. I had a smartphone. Is that what they even call it now? Like I , well, I’d say I didn’t know about technology. How
AJV (00:06:29):
Many, how many people truly are listening today? Do you think that truly give themselves the excuse? I’m just too late to the game, right? Mm-Hmm it’s too late for me to get started. I’m too late to the game. I’m I’m too old. I’ve I’ve already done this for too long. Like that’s just too much work or what do I have to say? Or
AL (00:06:53):
My story’s not enough my story. And I’m like, we all have a story, you know what I mean? It’s like, we all have something to share an experience to share that could be a roadmap for someone else. And when we get caught up in that comparison or we give ourself, we make start making excuses, you know, I was 37 when my book came out. Yeah. I’m like, no, no, no, wait 37 that’s later. No, I wish I was 37. that’s no, I’m 50. I was 47 when my book came or 46, 46 or 47 when my book came out 48 when I did my Ted talk. And then right after that, I started my podcast. So there there’s a part of me that when I hear you say these things like a podcast or a there it’s like, oh, wow. Yeah, that’s me.
AL (00:07:49):
I actually did those things because it wasn’t that long ago that I didn’t even have social media. And it wasn’t until I wrote my book and I had, you know, I hand wrote about 90% of my book on these notepads. I have notepads all over my desk. I love notepads, but I didn’t own a laptop. And I didn’t have a lot of people that also believed in me. And they thought I was crazy for wanting to write a book. You know, I was in the fitness industry for 26 years and they were like, why don’t you just stick to that? You’re the fitness girl. And I’m like, but no, I wanna write this book. And so I hand wrote about 90% of it. And one day was very discouraged when I couldn’t figure out how to send a picture. Like, I didn’t even know.
AL (00:08:34):
My husband had a, like a, a PC, like a computer. I did not know how to work. And I was, I asked to speak at this event for Lona Jane, which I was really excited about. And still I was a little bit like, okay, a lot imposter syndrome. Like, why do they want me? And I had to send them a picture like of me. And I was trying to find a picture to send. And I asked my husband, well, can you, you know, teach, show me how to send this picture in an email. And he’s like, oh, what do you want now? And I was like, that’s it. I’m just gonna go buy my own computer. And I went to the Mac store and I bought myself a laptop. And then I went to type my whole book up. I got a publisher and I love that you talk so much about the marketing and branding and the personal brand, because I love learning from you.
AL (00:09:25):
And so that’s one of the reasons I think so many people love all that. You share, love your podcast so much because we learn so much from you. Okay. I knew nothing. And this publisher was like, we don’t do any marketing or branding for you. So if you wanna get your book out there, it’s up to you to do it. And so I was like, well, I don’t have a big budget. Like I have zero budget. So let me try this social media thing out. And I had like a couple of hundred followers on Instagram. I literally, that were like friends and family. I basically had that account. So I could stalk my oldest daughter. I didn’t even know how to post. And I was like, well, I’m just gonna start sharing. And I started sharing what I had gone through, how I had to completely reinvent myself.
AL (00:10:15):
How’d I had to learn how to love myself again. And I started to share like mostly, you know, from a scar and not an open wound. And you I’ll get to the question that you asked, sorry, for this long, I love this cancer, but you know, I had this incredible career and fitness and for 26 years, that’s what I did. And so I had, I was a trainer. I had trainers that worked for me. I taught a trainer certification preparation course. I was like in it, I was sponsored by Nike. I was doing infomercials. If you walked into like a Rite aid or something, you would see vitamin labels. And there would be me right on the vitamin label. And so I, I thought life is good. After a lot of grit to get to where I was, I was like, life is good.
AL (00:11:10):
And that all changed. When, you know, one day coming home from work, I got T-boned hit by an SUV, thrown 30 feet on, on my motorcycle and slid across the asphalt. And I remember looking down at my leg and my, one of my first thoughts, AJ was this can’t be good. I might have to train clients on crutches for a while. Like I was already thinking, how am I gonna keep training my clients? I had no idea just how much this was gonna change my life. Rushed to the hospital. And I was putting induced coma. And when I woke up from a coma is when I learned, I had a 1% chance of saving my leg. And to me, it was like my leg. That was my livelihood running was my drug of choice. I mean, that was what I did for happiness. A lot of people would like to, you know, get rid of anxiety by having a drink or something running is what I did.
AL (00:12:12):
That was my therapy. And I thought, what am I gonna do? And, and I thought, well, 1%, well then there’s still a chance mm-hmm . And I hung on to that 1%. And that was my glimmer of hope. And that is what got me through 34 surgeries. A lot of grit, a lot of prayer, God was with me. I had family and friends and amazing doctors, and they were to able to piece by piece, put my leg back together. But when I got home from the hospitals, when the real journey began, so it was all the things that, that I always say pain has been my greatest teacher, because it wasn’t just the physical pain and the excruciating, you know, physical therapy and, you know, learning how to walk again. Also being diagnosed with the nerve diseases, a result of the injury, everything that I learned through that and was able to, you know, hit what I call my rock foundation, because that’s where I started to build my life back up.
AL (00:13:22):
I thought this can’t have happened for nothing. Like there’s gotta be, you know, I want other people to know that they can hang on to hope that they can. All you need is just a glimmer of that hope to keep moving forward. Because I was in a place where I did not wanna live. I went from surviving this accident and 34 surgeries to really sinking down into despair and depression and went from being this fitness expert to all of a sudden, I was drinking every day to try to cope with the pain. And it was at that moment, there was a turning point where I thought there’s gotta be more to life than this and climbing my way back out of that and rebuilding myself in every way, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially. I mean, we had 2.9 million worth of medical expenses. And so for anybody listening, who is going through a struggle right now, whether it is financially or physically or emotionally, I think there’s been a lot going on in the world, or even you’re in a place in your life where, you know, you don’t, maybe you didn’t get hit by an SUV, but you got hit by something in these last couple of years, that there is a way that you can strategically take steps to rebuild and tap into your resilience, to get through those moments.
AL (00:14:52):
And let me tell you if I can do it and completely reinvent myself and learn to love myself, you know, go from being a fitness model to being scarred up from the hip down and doing that all in my late forties. And now I’m 50, then anything’s possible. , you know what I mean? Like anything’s possible.
AJV (00:15:13):
I mean, there are so many different paths that I could take this conversation from just even this very shortened version of just a tiny part of your story. That, there’s one thing that really sticks out to me that I think applies to probably every single person listening, which is this devaluation of their own story. And like, even to hear you say, it’s like, man, I hear this. I’m a podcast from my speaker and it’s oh yeah. It’s like, I do those things, I think today and every day. Right. I think throughout, you know, I don’t think it’s, I don’t think it’s different today than it was 50 years ago, or it will be in 50 years from now. I, I think that in general, we downplay the significance of our own stories and we forget that we all have a story and that our stories are lives are there for a reason now, regardless of what, you know, anyone’s beliefs are, who’s listening.
AJV (00:16:18):
It’s like things happen for a reason. And a part of that reason I do believe is to help us share it’s to create that community. And so I would just love to hear from you of your take on, like, how did you find the significance of your story in such a way that you’re like, there’s a message in here and I feel so compelled to share it that I’m gonna hand write it, right. And I’m gonna figure this out at 45, 46, 47, because there is something in this that I have to get out in the world. And I think that’s a really important thing because we all have those things. And most of us just don’t find a way to share ’em and it doesn’t matter to me, like you don’t have to be an author or a speaker or a podcaster or anything to go. I have a story that has the ability to shape and even change someone else’s life. So I could share it to a friend, to an employee, to a stranger, to my barista at the coffee shop. But how, how do you find the significance of your story and believe that it has the power to actually make a difference. And so I’ll just start with, how did you do that?
AL (00:17:38):
Well, you know what, I think that sometimes you have people around you that help you do that because I did not see the significance in my story or myself. I mean, I, to be completely transparent, I hated myself. I, I really just was very unhappy and I didn’t feel like I was enough. I didn’t feel like I was a good enough mom anymore. I felt broken in every way. And it wasn’t until I think a couple of things happened. And I mean, first of all, I will say that, like you said, we all have a story. We all have things that we’re, we’re really good at. And I would really urge anyone listening today to really think about what is that thing that people tell you that you’re good at, or that people come to you. And they’re always asking you advice on this one thing or this one thing that you could just talk about all day and it lights you up.
AL (00:18:43):
It gives you goosebumps. You would talk about it, whether you were paid for it or not, you would fly across the country to talk about it. Like, what is that thing or things, and start writing those things down. But for me, I did not see like I said, I felt really broken and I remember, you know, I was so wanted to get back. I wanted to get back to training clients. And I remember thinking I needed my clients now more than they needed me because I needed a purpose. I needed a reason to, I wanted to get back to work. I wanted to do what I loved again. And so I remember thinking, well, who’s gonna wanna train with me. Like I’m broken, I’m on crutches to my surprise. My business boomed because people saw me going into the gym in my wheelchair and getting up outta my wheelchair to do tricep push downs, getting back in my wheelchair with my leg, all bandaged up.
AL (00:19:43):
They saw me coming in after a surgery and having like an I IV in a wire that was going in a cast on my leg. And I was on the row machine doing the row machine with one leg. They saw me on crutches. They saw me back in a wheelchair. They saw me limping. They saw me before I could get my leg all the way up around the bike in the day that I got it all the way up and I could do the bike, like a normal person. Well kind of it wasn’t very pretty, but kind of . And so, yeah, to my surprise, like people were like, wow, like if she can do it, I can do it. And I would have people come up to me at the gym and say, you know, I didn’t feel like working out today. And I was, you know, saying all these excuses to myself, but I thought about you.
AL (00:20:26):
And I thought, if Ambery can show up, I can get my button at spin class and I can do it too. And then I would have somebody come up to me and say, Hey, do you mind talking to my aunt? She’s having a real hard time getting off the couch. If you could just call her. And so I’d call her and I’d give her a pep. And so IPEC talk. And I was like going to one person at a time. And I found myself on the bicycle at the gym. And there was a girl riding the bicycle beside me. And she noticed like, all these people were just coming up to me nonstop, like the whole hour that I was there on the bike and they were, would come up and they would tell me their problems. And I would offer solutions or suggestions that had helped me.
AL (00:21:08):
And she goes, don’t you get tired of people coming up to you with all your, their problems? And I said, well, no, not if I can help ’em. I said, I, I, I, I like helping people. So there was my first clue that there was something there because, and then it was at the doctor’s office. So I’d had all these surgeries still, like I said, I wasn’t, I had looked down at my leg with kind of discussed, cuz it was all scarred up. And it was given me so much pain. I had tried all these different treatments, ketamine, infusions, spinal stimulator, spinal blocks, Eastern Western medicine. I mean, you name it. I had tried it. I was on 73 homeopathic pills at one time, a day and 11 prescription medications and nothing was helping with this complex regional pain syndrome. And I remember I had this solution. I was like, well, we’ll just amputate. And I went to the doctor who saved my leg and I said, Hey doc, I really appreciate you saving my leg and, and doing all these surgeries. But you know, it’s slowing me down. We just need to amputate it. I can’t live with this pain. And he did something that just changed it for me.
AL (00:22:32):
He put my leg in his, you know, usually they’ll put your leg on the table. And I thought, gosh, I can’t believe he’s putting my, my ugly leg on his clean white coat. And he looked at my leg like it was a masterpiece and just something shifted. And I thought, wow, if he can look at my leg like that, maybe I can learn to look at it like that too. And so every day I just started to love my leg for healing the way it did or, you know, enabling me to walk again, enabling me to train clients again. And so I think that sometimes when we have somebody believe in us or look at us differently and they see the significance in us, it allows us to start to look at the significance if we can’t see it yet. And so that’s why I think it’s really important.
AL (00:23:36):
You know, I’ve heard the same success leads clues. When I started getting asked more and more to share my story because it was genuinely helping people and inspiring them and giving them hope. I said, well, how can I make myself better? How can I learn more? And I just dove into, you know, getting better and every way, spiritually physically, I already worked really hard on physically trying to get better, but mentally, emotionally. And then I started getting to my surprise, getting asked to speak at like bigger events. And then then I thought, well, I think I wanna do this thing. I think I, you know, somebody said, you know, you should write a book. And I thought, well, maybe I could make a bigger impact. If I wrote a book, it wouldn’t be one person at a time. Maybe just, maybe somebody would read this and I could share how I got through all of the struggles and it would help them get through some adversity they might be going through too.
AL (00:24:41):
And so that’s what made me decide to write a book. But I think that, you know, if we think about some of the things that we love doing, what brings us joy, I love people being with people, brings me joy, being with people and seeing the transformation in them. Ooh, that’s my favorite thing. And so when we think about what brings us joy, what we’re really good at those questions that people ask us all the time and it doesn’t have to be even people in your real life. What are people on social media asking? Yeah. Like what are people asking you in DMS over and over for me? Because at the time I didn’t have social media, I just went on what people were asking me like in real life at the gym, you know, when I would walk down the street. And then as I got to be on social media, I started really paying attention even more to what people were asking and I’ll never forget AJ.
AL (00:25:38):
I had this. So I was doing this big event. Like I was speaking at this event and we all gave away, you know, a, a free gift. Well, I was like, well, I’ve got a gratitude journal. I’m giving away. Like I’m, I’m living large. I’m giving away a gratitude journal and it’s even downloadable . And so a guy after me gave away a house and I was like, whoa, dude, way to one up me, you gave away a house. That’s awesome. And so I didn’t know who this billionaire was, you know? And so he went and researched me and then he contacted me. He’s like, Hey Amberley I just wanna know who you’re using for your marketing branding. We’d like to hire them. And I said, oh no, no, no, that would be me. And he’s like, well, how do you do it? What do you do? And I said, I listen to my audience. Like I pay attention to my audience. And he’s like, no, no, but, but what do you do? And I said, well, I really don’t know what I’m doing. He goes, well, then we wanna hire you to help us. I said, no, no, no. I’ll send you to AJ. That’s what she does.
AL (00:26:48):
But but you know, it’s like, he’s like, well, that’s the beauty. You don’t really know what you’re doing. And I still don’t. I think we’re all, I I’m just still trying to figure it out. That’s why I listen to your podcast so I can learn that the latest, you know, tricks and tips, but I think it,
AJV (00:27:07):
You have it figured out it’s everyone else who doesn’t have it figured out. And I say that sincerely and we, you know, over the last six months our company brand builders group has been going through our own reinvention and we just launched what we call B BG 2.0, because we’ve really spent the better part of this year, 2022 of refocusing on who we wanna serve, who we are as a company. And honestly, what do we think that we’re the best in the world at and as a part of its startup. And when we’re all getting started, it’s just, we do whatever you have to do. And you know, many people just stay on that track. And I really felt through a course of a, a variety of different events this year, that we needed a reentering back on the heart of who we are back on our uniqueness, back on what makes us different back on what’s made us who we are.
AJV (00:28:03):
And you said something and that I just wanna touch on for a minute, because I think where you have it figured out that truly no one else does is you learned the power of your surroundings. And most of us don’t learn that you see that the challenge that I see with so many people today is what they’re looking for is an audience. And an audience is just another way of saying a collection of individuals. And what we really need to be saying is how do I reach an individual? And people wanna see numbers, not people. And you saw people and people saw you. And for anyone who wants to build their personal brand, you know, build their reputation, grow their business. They need to focus on the people that are already in front of them.
AL (00:28:58):
Mm-Hmm,
AJV (00:28:58):
the people at the gym, right? The people in the doctor’s office, the people that you already have access to, that’s where you start. And it’s so weird to me. And we may have talked about this before that most of us and myself included for a long time, we spend more time trying to find and attract strangers on the internet than we do, trying to build relationships with people we see every day
AL (00:29:24):
Mm-Hmm
AJV (00:29:25):
And it’s really them who don’t have it figured out Amber.
AL (00:29:31):
Well, you know, I was just at, I spoke at a friend’s mastermind. That was, it was beautiful. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Sundance, but I had never been to Sundance. And it was in Sundance, Utah, AMA beautiful. And when I’m at, at events, I’m, I am there for the people like I am there the whole time. And when I’m speaking at any event, I don’t just go and speak on stage and leave. I am there to meet people because I love people. And I’m there to be all in. Like my schedule’s blocked out. I’m not taking a bunch of call. Like I am there. And even my family knows, like when I’m at an event, I’m there. And unless like, you know, I I’ll talk to him at night, but during the day I’m like, if it’s an emergency, call me twice, you know, otherwise. And so this last event, I was speaking on a panel and my phone rang twice and I answered it and my husband was like, see, I told you she would answer it if you
AJV (00:30:40):
A test drill. Yes,
AL (00:30:42):
That’s a
AJV (00:30:42):
Test.
AL (00:30:43):
But yeah, but I’m, I am there and for the people,
AJV (00:30:49):
But that quite honestly is what most people are missing today. I really do believe that it’s like, you know, we talk a lot about online marketing and social media and funnels and webinars at brand builders group. But to be really honest and transparent, where we shine is in the offline reputation, everything that we can attest to in our entire business and why brand builders group even exists has nothing to do with podcasting or email lists or social media or websites or design. It has to do with long standing offline relationships that we spent time and years, years nurturing and building and pouring into and giving to give, not to receive. And because of those relationships is how everything else came a lot. And it’s no different than what you’ve done. It’s like you became known in the gym and then they’re like, well, I need you to know other people. And then those people are like, and I need you to know other people. And it’s like the real magic isn’t that
AL (00:31:56):
It sure is. And I mean, AJ, that’s how we met. Yeah. I had like three people saying, oh, do you know AJ? You same got to meet AJ. You have, she’s amazing. You just have to meet her. So by the third person, I was like, who is this AJ? But the
AJV (00:32:13):
Same happened to me. It was like, like, it was like, it was like, just like the, world’s like, you know, colliding of all these different relationships. But I think that’s, that’s the beauty of what I love about this part of your story is it’s people got to know you and it’s through relationships and it’s, you know, it’s through all these things that it’s trust, right? It’s like, it’s like, I know that, you know, know, I love what you said. It’s like my goodness, if she can do it, I can do it. I think about, I have, I have a girlfriend who has quadruplets that are six months older than my oldest. And when she got pregnant with quadruplets, she had an 18 month old and every single day where I have a hard mom day, I’m like, I have two, she has five, I have two, she has five. And it’s like, she can do it. I can figure this out. I’ve only got two. And it doesn’t mean that it’s not hard, but it’s like, that’s what she is for me and motherhood of. But that would never happen if there wasn’t a relationship. Mm-Hmm . And it’s like, people look to finding these big online audiences. Like that means something where really what means something are the lives that you touch and get to know. And that’s what you have figured out. That’s what you do naturally. And that’s why people love you.
AL (00:33:31):
Oh, thank you. Can I just hang out with you all day?
AJV (00:33:35):
Please feel I like it though. But it’s like, I think that is really important. And then you, and I love what you said and it’s like, then I said, well, you know, if I write a book, I can reach more than just one person mm-hmm . So what I would love to talk about cuz so many of the people in our audience and people listen to this, are people going well, how do I get a book deal? Like how do we, how do I get this into the hands of people? And so I have my,
AL (00:34:02):
I love this question.
AJV (00:34:05):
I have my own thoughts of love, hate relationship with the publishing world. But I would love to hear your take on like okay, for all of you out there, here’s what you need to know. If you wanna write a book and you actually want people to read it. So,
AL (00:34:22):
Okay. If you wanna write a book and you actually want people to read it, you actually have to start writing today. Like make a commitment that you’re gonna do it, decide, and then get out your notebook. Look, I didn’t even have a computer when I started and I would get discouraged along the way. And I would have that soundtrack going on in my head. Like who do you think you are? Like, who cares about what you have to say? Like you’re not smart enough. You don’t have a college degree. Like all the things I would tell myself, but then I would focus on this. Isn’t about me. This is about who I can serve. And maybe this is really going to help someone cuz I don’t ever want anybody be to be in that dark place that I was in, where I was thinking, you know, my kids could find another mom.
AL (00:35:15):
My husband could, you know, find another wife. I don’t want anybody to ever have to feel that way. But mostly I don’t want anybody to ever feel like they’re they’re alone. You know that they, you know, pain tends to isolate and isolation for me led to addiction. And so whatever I could do, that’s why I wrote my book like that. You can get through hard times, but I would say start writing there. There’s so many ways to do a book. You, whether it’s hybrid, whether it’s self, whether it’s traditional, you have to decide how fast do you want your book to get out there? So talking about, you know, people again, I got my publishing deal through people. I had a friend of mine that invited me to, you know, go to this conference that was all for authors and there was gonna be publishers there and literary agents.
AL (00:36:07):
And I’ll just make this a quick story. But this goes back to how you treat people. I thought, well, you know, it was, the ticket was only like I think 50 bucks to go. I’m like, how good can this conference be? Like, you know, but that’s what was my thought? How can it be that good? It’s only $50, you know? So we go, it’s in LA and we get there and I’m getting in the elevator and I see this guy running to the elevator. So I hold the door open for him and he’s in a suit and he’s kind of got a sweaty brow and he goes, oh, thank you so much. I’m running late. And I’m like, sure. And we start talking in the elevator. So I get up to the conference, he’s got a table, he’s a publisher. So I walk up and I’m like, oh, he goes, thanks for holding the door for me.
AL (00:36:57):
And I said, you’re welcome. I said, you’re a publisher. He said, are you an author? I said, well I have a manuscript. He goes, well, let me see what it is. So I got my foot in the door by holding the elevator door. I love that story so much. And you know, I, at the end of this conference, you know, if you’re, if you’re writing a book, you can either do a book proposal. You can have a literary agent, you can self-publish and you get your book out there a lot faster. But they had these booths set up and it was like speed dating for authors. And we would go sit in the booth and we would have like a minute to pitch our book. Well, I didn’t even have a title to my manuscript yet. I just, I had some stuff typed out that I had with me, no title.
AL (00:37:45):
So it was a long day, 12 hours in, I hadn’t had anything to eat and I’m going to try to pitch this. I’m like, I’m doing it, man. I’m get in front of every publisher. I’m get in front of these literary agents. I’m gonna pitch this thing. Even though I don’t have a title, I get to the very end. It’s that publisher. And I sit down in front of him and I just, I collapse and I’m I’m I got tears in my eyes and he, he said, well, did you bring me something I can read? And I said, no. He said, well, why not? And I said, well, I don’t have a title yet. I don’t feel like it’s good enough. Like I just opened up to him. He said, you know what? Here’s a book. How to write a proposal. He gave me a book on how to write a proposal.
AL (00:38:27):
He sent me on his way with his business card. So I had his number and I gave him my business card. My phone rings about a week later. He’s like Amberly. And I see it’s a New York city area code. I’m like, Ooh, this is New York city. I better answer this. That’s awesome. Like hello? And I had told him if he was ever in LA, please let me know. I’d love to have him and his wife over to dinner. So he calls it’s him and I’m like, Hey Terry. I said, oh, I said, are you in town? I said, I I’d love to have you and your wife over for dinner. He said, no Amberly. I wanna read your manuscript. Like, he’s like, no, duh, I inviting him over for dinner. He’s like, no, I wanna read your manuscript. So I ended up sending it to him.
AL (00:39:15):
I got the book deal. They weren’t a huge publisher. So I know I knew I needed. Thankfully one of my clients was a, a really, she was an editor, a successful editor. And she said, Amber, you don’t have a great publisher. So you need a really good publicist to vet your book. So there’s two ways of doing it. You can self, I think you can self-publish and you can get your book out in a month. I mean, it’s quick. Get it on Amazon. If you’ve got a huge following on social media with a connected audience, and they’re just waiting for the day that you publish that book, self-publish, you know, you could hire, invest in a publicist and get connected who knows to major media, whether it’s TV show, big podcasts like AJS or you know, or you can do the traditional publishing as or hybrid.
AL (00:40:12):
I did hybrid publishing. And it takes longer. I mean, it took a year, but for me that was a good fit. I think we’re all different. And you have to go with, whatever’s a good fit for you for me, because I was so brand new. I, I had not built up my platform at all. And I had one goal. I had a year of the publishing process to when it was like they had the manuscript where it was edited, cover designed and all of that. And a year I thought, well, that was back when you know, you could do a swipe up. And I thought, well, I wanna build my audience on Instagram to like 10,000 so I can do a swipe up. So for one year I did not ask for anything. I provided value, value value, as much as I could. I gave, I created free playbooks workbooks, a free gratitude journal.
AL (00:41:08):
I was doing whatever, you know, a resilience challenge, a free webinar, seriously for free for a year. Then when it came time for my book to launch, I was like, I, I took my audience on that journey with me. Yeah. So it wasn’t like they didn’t see the behind the scenes of how freaked out I was or the struggle or whatever. Like they were with me when I opened my box of books for the first time my daughter videoed it and I wasn’t expecting, but I started crying when you’ve worked so hard on the book and you see it for the first time I cried and that’s on video. And so my audience was there with me. And to me it doesn’t feel like audience, to me, it feels like family. Like there are people that I literally connect with every single day. And you know, a lot of people didn’t understand why I was on social media.
AL (00:42:02):
They’re like, why are you on social media? Why is it so important? And I had this plan and my big vision was yes, I wanted to be able to swipe up. But I also, and I don’t know really how I thought this out or knew this, but I thought I wanted to build genuine relationships through social media because when it came time to planning my book tour, I wanted to be able to actually meet the people that I connected with in person. And that’s what happened. And it wasn’t until my husband saw that and he saw somebody, I was at the LA conference center and this girl comes running across the conference center with her suitcase, her roll on her carry-on suitcase. And she’s got tears coming down her face. She had read my book. She flew from Australia to come me at this conference. And that was the first time that my husband was like, wow, I guess that whole connecting through social media actually works. And I’m like, yeah, I’ve built some amazing relationships. So that’s when he kind of got it.
AJV (00:43:10):
But you know what you said there, and you’ve said this a couple of times that I, I think this is like a really good point to like bring up is, I mean, you’ve said earlier, it’s like ask who you can serve. Then you said, when that gentleman said, who does your marketing? You said, no, I just, you need to listen to your audience. And then you just said, my audience is more like family. I connect with them every day. So much of everything that you talk about is about the who. And so, you know, as, as we’re kind of rounding up here and I’m, I’m sensitive to the time, but how did you find your audience? Like how did you know? Cause I think that’s something people really struggle with. And quite honestly, I think people ultimately focus on the, what should I be doing and how do I get more followers? And you know, how do I do this versus going, who do I wanna serve? Who is the ideal audience for my message? Who should I be reaching? And so one, how did you figure out the who for you? And then how would you say other people can do that?
AL (00:44:12):
Well, I think that’s such a great question. And for me, I started just, I think that it’s really important to stay true to who you are and not try to be like somebody else that you might see on social media or, or, you know, your neighbor next door, whoever you have to be true to you. And I started just sharing like really, like, I don’t have a lot of things planned out. Like I share what’s actually going on with me, what I’m working through. I, I share the struggles along the way and how I got through it. So maybe it’ll help somebody else. And so on social media, I, I mean, I’ve shared things that my husband’s like, oh my God, like actually when I wrote my book and he read the back of the jacket, he said, oh my God, they wrote on here survivor of sexual abuse. Did you see that? And I’m like, yeah, I write about sexual overcoming sexual abuse in the book. You might wanna read it. Like, sorry I talk about it. So I talk about things and again, sharing from a scar,
AJV (00:45:22):
Read the book, read the book. Yeah. Yeah.
AL (00:45:25):
But you know, sharing from a scar and not an open wound. Yeah. But I think sharing what you know mm.
AJV (00:45:34):
I think that that’s worth just pausing and let people soak in, share what, you know, anyone who suffers from imposter syndrome, in my opinion, is sharing from a place of where they don’t feel like they know anything. And they feel like you feel like you’re an imposter, cuz you’re sharing from a place that’s not authentic to you. And it’s like share what, you know,
AL (00:45:57):
You always go back to your truth. Yeah. If you feel stuck, always go back to your truth. And I mean, that’s something actually my friend when I was, I was feeling like I got this big speaking gig and my friend Henry Amar, I was like, oh man, Henry, do you ever get nervous? And he is like, he goes, yes. You know, but you know what? The best advice I could give you is always go back to your truth. So if you’re ever stuck, you’re ever like, I don’t know what to say. Or even if you’re on stage speak, like always go back to your truth. You know the truth. I always heard that saying the truth will set you free. Well, it’s easy when you’re just honest, then you don’t have to overthink stuff cuz you’re just being you.
AJV (00:46:41):
Yeah. I love that. And it’s I yeah. And I think too, all of that, it’s like when you share what, you know, it’s like a part of that is you’re finding your audience, but they’re also finding you. Right. Mm-hmm but that’s when you share what you know, and you are authentic to yourself, I think there’s a part of that where you naturally start attracting people. We talk about this a lot. It’s be a magnet, not a megaphone, right? Yeah. And it’s like, or the more authentic you can be, you, you know, it’s like, it’s sometimes it’s good to be a little polarizing. Right. It’s like you attract the right people and you repel the wrong ones at at least the wrong ones for you. Right. Mm-hmm yeah. So though for, yeah, go ahead. What were you,
AL (00:47:25):
I was gonna say, yeah, you don’t have to be everybody’s cup of tea, you know, which is kinda hard for, you know, I’m an overcoming people pleaser and I just want, oh, I want everybody to be happy. Well, you, you can’t do, you don’t have to be everybody’s cup of tea. You can be somebody’s, you know, I don’t know, shot of whiskey. I don’t know.
AJV (00:47:48):
But you know, that’s true. It’s I, I think that it, again, it’s like there’s an audience for anyone and anything, but it’s really hard to attract an authentic audience if you’re not being authentic and that’s really, and
AL (00:48:03):
I think you can feel that with, I know I can’t like you can sense when something’s not quite right.
AJV (00:48:09):
Yeah. I love that. So, so what would you say is like, what’s the one thing that you would suggest for someone to do? Who’s going all right. Well, how do I know who this audience is? Like I don’t, I don’t know. It’s like I, what I hear from people all the time is, well it’s everybody, my message pertains to everybody.
AL (00:48:28):
No, you know what I think I focus on, like for, I would say, and I mean, I’m no expert in this, but what I did to really start attracting, you know, my people, my friends is I focus. I’m not all over the place. You know, I focus on, you know, fitness mindset overcoming pain being a mom, like some things like things that other people relate to, maybe when you’re as big as somebody like, you know, Jay Shetty or Mel Robbins, that you can talk about everything under the sun. And I think that’s what a lot of people look to is people that already have millions of followers and yeah, they’ve been doing it for a long time. Yeah. And they have big teams and they may be able to talk about more things. And, but I think that when you get known for one thing, then you can kind open it out and focus on other things. But I think it’s really important to be known for one thing and start getting some traction there that’s at least what I did anyway. I was like, I started getting known for being that girl who you know, was the grit girl. I, then I started paying attention. People were hashing me, resilience queen and grit girl and stuff like that. And I’m like, oh, resilience queen. I kinda like that. You know, grit girl
AJV (00:49:59):
I like that.
AL (00:50:01):
I’ll I’ll take it. You know? And I started paying attention to like what, what people were were saying in meantime, I’m just focusing on sharing what I know, not going too off topic, like sticking to what my truth is being completely authentic. Sometimes my husband’s like, you are way, you’re say like, you’re saying way too much. Like really do you have to share all of that? But , that’s how I have found, like I’ve connected with sober sisters. Like, you know, tomorrow I’m seeing one of my friends in Dallas, we met when I lived in LA and she lived in Dallas. Now we’re friends. We get to see each other in person. And it was, you know, when I started feeling comfortable about sharing, about sobriety, that I started attracting more sober sisters and stuff like that. You know? When I started talking a lot about how I was overcoming CRPS pain, I repelled some people and I attracted some, you know, I repelled the people that are like, you can’t get through pain with your mindset. You know, they didn’t like me at all, which was kind of hard at first to have those like haters come out of the woodwork, you know, it was after I was on the doctor’s TV, I was thinking I was there to help people. And woo. They were
AJV (00:51:25):
Not your audience.
AL (00:51:27):
They were not, I was not their cup of tea.
AJV (00:51:30):
yes. And that’s, I mean that, I think that is a hard pill to swallow for a lot of people because we wanna be PC. We wanna be so PC that we appeal to everyone. And it’s like, if you’re not rubbing somebody the wrong way, then you’re just not being you. Right. So it’s like, no, not everyone is going to like you. And if you want everyone to like you, then there’s a whole bunch of you that you’re not letting us get to know
AL (00:51:54):
Mm-Hmm . Yeah. Actually my husband congratulated me when I got he’s like, congratulations, that’s awesome. And I’m like, no, it’s not. Then I was like, I got over it, you know,
AJV (00:52:07):
But it’s a sign of being truly authentic. And I think there’s, I think we all need a little bit more of that. I bet one of the biggest conversations that I have with people who who have been really successful in business, but don’t have really big followings and now they really wanna transition into doing something more about sharing a message. They’re like, wow, just, I wanna make sure that, you know, I don’t rub anyone the wrong way. And I’m like, well then you’re not gonna be able to tell 95% of your story. Mm-Hmm because it’s not going to go well with everyone and we have to be okay with that. But the more, you know, who your audience is, the more that you’re okay with who your audience is not
AL (00:52:51):
Mm-Hmm , it’s so true. It’s so true.
AJV (00:52:56):
Alright. Well, okay. So I know that we’re a little bit over, but I have just two, two quick, last things. And before we wrap up, I wanna make sure everyone knows how to connect with you. So for everyone listening, if you love this conversation, I would just highly, highly encourage you guys. You need to get the true grit, grace book. You guys need to check out this podcast. Amber Lee just launched a mastermind called the unstoppable life mastermind. You can find all of those things plus all of her, you know, online platforms that she’s a part [email protected]. Right? So Amber Lee lago.com. I’ll put that in the show notes, we’ll put links for the book. We’ll put links for all the things you can just access ’em really quickly. But just to wrap this up, and this has nothing to do with like a conversation in general, but I just love to ask people just some questions for one to help us get to know you. But also I just find if these things are helpful to me then most definitely they’re gonna be helpful to someone else. So three quick questions, right? And these, I
AL (00:53:55):
Love it
AJV (00:53:56):
As shorter, as long as you want, what’s one book that you would recommend universally to any human on the planet,
AL (00:54:04):
The four agreements,
AJV (00:54:06):
The four agreements. Love it. Okay.
AL (00:54:09):
That’s a great gift book too. It’s just, yeah. Simple. Good. Yeah.
AJV (00:54:14):
Okay. Then my next question would be, if there was one lesson that you have learned since really building your personal brand, being an author, podcaster speaker, you know, all the things, what’s the one lesson that you hold closest to your heart.
AL (00:54:34):
Mm. I would say to, to really listen to your gut I know that’s probably so weird and you’ve probably not had anybody say that before, like, but to listen to your gut, because I think, you know, as my brand kind of grew a lot of distractions come along with that and a lot of amazing opportunities come sometimes and some that are not so amazing, some that they really want to use your brand to build their audience, which is, which is normal, you know, like that, that happens. And there’s one thing that I did like early on that I started getting some traction and, you know, getting some followers and I had this, this brand of like teeth whitening thing that they sent me the teeth whitening and they wanted me to advertise it on my Instagram. And I was like, oh, never done that, but send me the kit and I’ll try it.
AL (00:55:33):
If it works, you know, I’ll share about it. And it wasn’t something that I did a lot and I wasn’t known for like promoting things ever. Like I don’t, I was not known. I mean, it took a year for me to promote my book. Like I was just, not that I wasn’t like that typical like person that was just like, buy this, buy that that’s just not me. And so I advertised the teeth whitening, but I tried to play it all into like, you know, how important smile is? I don’t know, blah, blah, blah. I lost so many followers that day. Like people were just like, oh God really she’s gonna do that. Now she’s getting paid to, so that was a very valuable lesson to me because now even like with my podcast, I committed to like going all in for like, gosh, almost two years with no advertisements.
AL (00:56:30):
I was like, I just, I’m gonna add value. So people start to listen and they know I’m serious about showing up and giving ’em value. And I just had somebody reach out for a sponsorship and I was like you know, I have to try this and I have to really love the products. And if I really love it, then we’ll talk about a sponsorship. Well, I really love the product, but I’m still kind of like, I did the advertisement and I genuinely love the products, but is that the route I want to go? So I think it’s important to listen to your gut and know that you
AJV (00:57:07):
Can know your audience,
AL (00:57:08):
Know your audience. Yeah. And, and how important it is to like stick to, you know, like your brand and your audience and not be distracted by some shiny object, or this would be good. It’s like it’s for the long haul, like think of it for the long haul. And so that’s what I think about is like, listen to my gut and think of it for the long
AJV (00:57:31):
Haul. Yeah. It’s like, don’t get distracted by the shiny things that you can take you off the path. That’s good. Love that last one. Amber, do you want to be known for,
AL (00:57:47):
I want to be known really as someone who is I, this, the first thing that came to mind is like you know, compassionate and a connector. I love connecting people. I think that sometimes we don’t kind of know sometimes that we have a gift at doing something until it keeps showing up in our life. And for some reason I love connecting people. Like I have an eye for going, oh my gosh, you would be awesome meeting this person. And so I’ve whether it’s, you know, a group of sober sisters or a group of badass, you know, female entrepreneurs, that’s one of the reasons I started my mastermind is cuz I love connecting people. And I think that when we connect with one another, that’s how we both, we all grow, you know, when we do things to together. And so I believe in abundance and there’s so much for us to, to have, you know, such a life of success and that we can all thrive. And so I guess I would like to be known as the kind connector how’s that
AJV (00:59:03):
Take it. I love it. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being on the show. This has been such a delight. There’s so many nuggets. Like I literally wrote down like 10 different like one liners and just little nuggets.
AL (00:59:18):
This is okay. I have to ask you a quick question. Just a quick question. When I talk to you, like y’all I love talking to AJ, but when I see you online, it’s like your eyes are these piercing. Like it’s so much fun to look at you online. Are you looking at the, this is a branding question, like an event question. Are you looking through the camera or are you looking in the screen
AJV (00:59:42):
At the camera?
AL (00:59:45):
there’s so good. See, I learned something just in this episode right now. Okay. I’m
AJV (00:59:53):
Gonna take,
AL (00:59:54):
I’m gonna take a sticky note and I’m gonna put it on my computer that I need to okay. See the difference.
AJV (01:00:00):
How are you? And I do, and this is a little tip for anyone who’s does a lot of camera where it’s like, it can be really annoying sometimes to look at this little dot when I see like your face, like kind of off to the side. So I make your picture really small and I put it right underneath the camera.
AL (01:00:15):
Oh.
AJV (01:00:16):
And so it’s like, I’m I can always see you and your facial expressions right below. And so, although I’m, it’s so good exactly. At the camera. You’re right in my peripheral. So I can see your facial expressions. I can see you move. But that’s always really important to me because I wanna make sure that I’m making eye contact with whoever’s be block’s
AL (01:00:38):
So good. Okay. I’m looking at you now. And I have to say you were incredible when you came to speak at, at the mastermind, people are still talking about all you shared. That was the best presentation by far I’ve ever had in the mastermind. You’re slides, everything. You’re just such a pro and I’m so grateful for you and even doing this podcast interview, I’m like, okay, Ambery I’m doing a virtual event tonight. And thank goodness we did this interview cuz I’m looking at the camera now
AJV (01:01:13):
So I love that. Cause that’s cause it’s a really important thing. It’s like I noticed too when other people it’s like, I know that they’re not looking at me. And when you know, I watch videos, I wanted to feel like you’re looking at me.
AL (01:01:24):
Yeah, yeah. I
AJV (01:01:25):
Have that connection. But it’s it can be really distracting. And I was also like, why does she look so good? Why is her hair and makeup so good today? So you’re doing a virtual event tonight. It’s like part of it is like, I can’t look at myself cause I’m like, oh God, like she looks like she’s all like dressed up. You look. So you look so good. Thank you.
AL (01:01:42):
I have on my workout pants on the bottom.
AJV (01:01:45):
wow. For those of you who can’t see, you’ll have to go watch the video on YouTube that she is dressed out to. She’s dressed to the nines right now. She looks awesome.
AL (01:01:56):
It’s so sweet. Oh my
AJV (01:01:57):
Gosh. We love you. We are such a fan of you and y’all if this is your first introduction to Amber Lee Lago, y’all need to go follow her. Subscribe to this podcast again. Amber Lee lago.com. Check her out, check out the book. It is just it’s nonstop. Awesome. So we’re so grateful for you on this show. Thank you so much. And for everyone listening, we love you. We’ll catch you next time on the influential personal brand. We’ll see you later.

Ep 330: How to be Comfortable Selling High Dollar Offers with Ian Koniak

RV (00:02):
I am so looking forward to this conversation with a friend of mine and AJ’s for years. His name is Ian Cognac, and he’s one of the best salespeople that we have ever come across. He, we actually, aj, AJ met him first before I did, and they became friends. He was a sales training client of ours and he at our former life, at our former company. And he had us doing some work with him, him, his team. He was one of the top sales people nationwide for a company called Rico, which was like selling copiers and, you know, sort of business office products and things like that. And then he left and went to Salesforce and so the, the big crm, Salesforce, and he was the number one enterprise account executive at Salesforce in the world. So he’s been a sales manager. He has been a top salesperson.

RV (00:56):
And then we started working with him again as a client here recently at Brand Builders Group a couple years ago. We want to hear a little bit about that story when Ian finally left sales and started his journey as an entrepreneur now in sales coaching, which is something that we don’t provide at Brand Builder’s group, like per se, as like cl classic sales coaching like we once did. And so anyways, I wanted to have Ian on for you to meet him and teach us some tips and tools for how we can sell more in our businesses. So, Ian, welcome to the show, Brother. It’s been a long time coming,

IK (01:32):
Rory, it’s so good to be here. And I just wanna say thank you for enrolling me in 2019. I, I joined Brand Builders in April. You were just starting out in, since then, It’s been over three years and I, I’ve quit my job. I’m a full-time solo entrepreneur and now I get the privilege of, you know, helping people learn to sell in a way that has high integrity and purpose and connected to what they want most. And it really is because of, you know, a big part of it is because of following the playbook of Brand Builders Group and the work we’ve done. I’ve been working with your, you, you and your, your partners for, for over three years now, and you’re doing great work. So it’s great to connect as a guest and a testim testimony to, to the work we’ve done together.
RV (02:15):
Man, that’s awesome. Like what Give, it was a sense of what, what is your business doing this year? Cuz it’s like, so when you first started working with us, you, you had a job, so you were making a bunch of money cuz you were top. We’re gonna talk about that in a second, but then like just on that note for a second, how has your business evolved and like, give us a sense of the scope of the business that you’re up to now, three years into it?
IK (02:37):
Yeah, so, so at first it was really about like, who do I wanna serve? What, what is my brand positioning statement? Who are, who are my icp? What, what am I gonna do? And it was really about creating that audience. So I, I spent the better part of 2019, 2020 really just kind of figuring it out and doing a side hustle, if you will, coaching. I wasn’t ready to walk away from a seven figure income per se, in, in sales. And I’m supporting my family and couple kids. I’m the, the breadwinner for my, for my household. And so, yeah, I was very nervous and I, I remember you, you said to me, you said, Just go for it, Ian, you’re gonna be fine. And I, I, I just wasn’t ready to just go all in yet. So the first two years was really about building an audience and kind of proving out the model.
IK (03:17):
I was doing private coaching and then I decided to deploy the same program which brand builders taught, which is having three levels of membership. So I deployed a one year membership model where I call it bronze, silver, and gold coaching through my platform, which is untapped your sales potential. And through that the gold is private coaching with me. The group the silvers group coaching in, in the bronze is online coaching and online access. So I’ve built a amazing portal with all kinds of training modules. I meet with a mastermind every week where we have live events and group calls and I do private coaching for my most exclusive clients at, wanna work with me one on one. Just to give you some numbers, the business already is surpassed seven figures and we are just in October right now for my first full year as a solar
RV (04:03):
Show. Wow.
IK (04:05):
Yeah, it’s doing, it’s going great. I got, I got 70 paying clients, 20 in gold 50 in silver and I haven’t even launched the bronze yet. So this is all, yeah, it’s all happening very quickly and it’s very exciting for me.
RV (04:17):
Man, that’s amazing. So seven figures in your first full year well that’s awesome. So, Well thank you for that. Thanks for sharing that. And you know, I I, I remember if you’re listening and you’re a client of, of brand builders, you know, we teach the content diamond, which is like our social media strategy where we talk about answer one question every week on social media, on video, just five to seven minutes and just do it over and over and over. And we’d always tell people like, if you’ll just do this, if you just buy into this and you just follow the process, like it will work. It never doesn’t work, it always works. It’s just a question of when, and you started posting videos on LinkedIn in 2019, and I remember you’re getting eight views and six views and you did that relentlessly. And I don’t know how many views your videos are getting now, but I saw that you recently were ranked as like the number one LinkedIn sales star by sales success media, like, and so you’ve just been doing that one thing relentlessly.
IK (05:23):
Yeah. Content market is how many and
RV (05:24):
How many views are you getting now on those videos?
IK (05:27):
I’m averaging per post 30,000 views per,
RV (05:30):
Oh my
IK (05:30):
Gosh, that’s not, I’m, yeah, , it’s, it’s, I looked at that analytics with my social media my LinkedIn, I have a LinkedIn strategist that I work with specifically for that platform now. And we were looking at some of the, the data yesterday and it’s averaging, yeah, just under 30,000 views per post. I’ve had several posts go viral. I’ve had one a few weeks ago get a million and a half views. Wow. And here’s, here’s the remarkable thing, worries, I’ve, I had a consistent strategy. I did follow the content diamond and, and specifically I did one post a week, I made a video and then I had that go to a blog newsletter LinkedIn and that, that and YouTube, right? So the YouTube channel is several thousand, you know, subscribers, but LinkedIn’s really been the source of traffic. Well, the goal is really to build the audience.
IK (06:17):
In the beginning it was like, okay, just stay consistent, stay consistent, gradually built up. And, and what happened is the, for anyone who’s thinking of building brand and has like their own business still that they’re, you know, employed at corporate or whatever, I would say start the audience building now. Cuz when I was finally ready to launch my platform, it was in May of 2022. So I’d been building my brand for three years up, up to that point since joining Brand Builders. And when I launched my private coaching, the gold coaching sold out in two days, all spots, ah, and then the silver sold 50 seats. So I, I had over a half a million dollar launch as a result of, you know, building this audience. So people say it’s like the tip of the iceberg, you’re only seeing the tip, but what was beneath it in this case was consistent content posting every single week for three years prior to that launch.
IK (07:06):
And when you finally have a product, you’ve established that reputation, you established trust. Here’s the best part, and I don’t know a single person in the world who’s done this. If you know someone, please tell me. But the launch occurred without any sales calls. So everyone spent either 6,000 or $12,000 online in paying via credit card. Wow. No sales team. So that’s, that’s really what I was most proud of is the fact that there had been so much trust established that people were gonna pay 12,000 without even talking to me or having a sales person to talk to about the program. So it really does work when you’re consistent and when you’re answering the right questions and solving the right problems that people actually face and care about.
RV (07:44):
Yeah, I love that man. And, and so it was once, so you did it once a week for three years, so like 150 videos, and then by the time you were ready to like, make the jump and do this, you sold half a million bucks in the first launch.
IK (07:58):
Yeah, that’s right. And, and, and the other thing I started doing is I, I actually hired somebody in 2022, you know, I think it was probably February-ish working with him six or seven months. And he took my top performing videos and my top performing content and he think of them as a ghost writer, but he reposes and rewrites some of this stuff. It almost almost sounds like me. So he helps me. So now I’ve gotten to the point where I do probably two or three original posts, one video and a couple texts, some, sometimes some pictures on LinkedIn per week. And then he’ll fill in the gaps. So I’m actually posting seven days a week now. So my content volume has gone up to daily on LinkedIn and I’ve seen a dramatic increase in traffic from when I posted once a week to when I’m doing posting daily now. So my, my followers is up to 30,000 on LinkedIn and the view is the engagement is, is really high as well. So it’s been, it’s been really interesting to see how well you can scale if you find someone who writes like you, who can analyze the data, who can repurpose what’s relevant. Yeah. It’s almost like he, he’s my voice, right? So
RV (09:03):
Yeah, that’s the, that’s part of the content I’m in is get the videos transcribed and send ’em to a writer and then, and then have ’em repurpose the content. Like, I mean, it’s just awesome, Ian, because you know, I’ve known you for so long, you’ve always been super successful in business. Like, but to actually see you doing it and go, oh man, what we teach works like it actually works. Oh my gosh. Like if you do it, it works. Like it really, it really, really fill me up. So, so I do wanna talk about the sales specific because like brother, you have crushed it. I mean now, even now in your own business you’re still selling and, and you know, using your personal brand to do some of that. But like, how did you become the number one, Like you were number one at rico, like you were one of the number one like directors of, of sales, I remember that. So you had, and you had 70 account executives underneath you. That was about the time we met. Then you became number one at Salesforce. Like what is it about what you do, do you think that has made you a number one salesperson versus, you know, all the sales managers, the salespeople, you’ve managed other sales people that have been on teams, you know, people you’ve met in, in the industry. Like what, what makes you a number one or what makes a number one salesperson?
IK (10:18):
Yeah, I love the question. And for anyone I don’t know if you have links, but I’m, I’m happy to share. I put together a an ebook or it’s really like a infographic on the top 10 traits of elite sales performers, the top kind of, you know, 1% of sales performers. And I studied a lot and I partnered with them
RV (10:37):
And I, and let’s do this, I do want people to get it. So if you go to brand builders group.com/ian cognac, so go to brand builders group.com/ian cognac, we’ll put, we’ll put a link here to what you’re talking about, Ian. So in his last name’s K O N i k K o N I a k K O N I a K.
IK (10:56):
So I’ll, I’ll get you that link. But fun, fundamentally for me personally, I get to ask this question a lot. I think, I think one of the things which I tend to, to do really well is I have a firm, it’s energy, right? Sales is a transfer of energy from one person to another. So for me, I genuinely have a lot of energy in that it contagious, it’s infectious. And I hear that a lot from clients. I ask someone why they bought for me for a corporate client and they said it was your energy. We, we thought the sales team needed more energy and we knew you brought that to the table. Now again, is that repeatable? Is it re reusable? No, that’s a personal thing. So I, I’d say for anyone who wants to improve their energy, right? You need to think about how you can actually help your clients and believe in the product or service you provide, right?
IK (11:47):
The reason Roy, you do really well at selling, even though you may not consider yourself a salesperson, you’re an amazing salesperson, is cuz you believed you can help anyone who joins your program and follows the steps that you teach. And because of that belief, your conviction, your energy when you’re talking to prospects is going to be extremely high. So if you wanna improve your energy, it starts with strengthening your own belief in in. How do you do that? Well, you need to talk to customers. You need to see the results they’re getting. If you’re brand new to a company, find out who your top customers are, interview them and really learn about what their before state was and what their after state and how you help them. Once you know you can help people fundamentally, once you know that you can truly improve their lives or improve their company’s performance, you are going to feel more energized, more, more passionate and, and become a better salesperson. So I think it starts with belief, which then transfers to energy, which then transfers to how you engage with your clients. So that would be probably not my number one.
RV (12:45):
I mean, it’s funny how you say that. Like I literally just experienced that in the opening of this interview. Like cuz you’re a past customer also, like hearing you go, yeah, I went from zero to seven figures in less than three years and really in my first full business year, I’m getting 30,000 views, like following this process. I’m going, gosh, it works like this stuff. It’s so convicting, like we’re gonna raise all our prices after this impact is what we’re getting. You need
IK (13:10):
To
RV (13:12):
Like, it just, it’s just, it’s so invigorating. And I think sometimes I think honestly, honestly, sometimes salespeople are a little bit afraid to talk to their past customers cuz they’re like, oh, you know, like, did it work? Was it good? Like, did they have a good experience? And but you, when you see that actual transformation, you just get so convicted on it. Yeah.
IK (13:33):
So I, I just did, I started my program in May, so I just did a pulse survey for Q1 for all 70 members and I asked them specifically, you know, what do you think this program is worth it? What value have you gotten? How has this helped you in your personal life? How has it helped you in your professional life? Right? So I’m capturing not only feedback so I can continue to improve the program, but I’m actually capturing success stories that I can use for marketing for future launches. But the, the real value is like hearing these stories, hearing people, Hey, I’m spending more time with my family. I’m not burning myself out, I’m selling more than ever. And I’m also able to play with my kids like cuz cause I don’t just teach sales, I teach, you know, a lot of like mindset and habits and balance and you know, I I I practice my faith, I have family, I have other values that, you know, my story and you know, my struggles with addiction and I had to overcome a lot of personal challenges that I incorporate into what I teach.
IK (14:25):
Cuz ultimately if you’re successful in one area, you’re making a lot of money, but you actually don’t have time or presence to be with your family or you’re not actually happy, then how is that successful? Right? So for me it really is more than that. And, and I think genuinely that, that’s what attracts a lot of clients is they want that balance. They want that true success, not just in how to sell more, but actually how to do it in a way that is high integrity, where it’s not sacrificing what’s most important to them, whether it’s their time, their family, their health. So I think knowing your uniqueness in positioning your service so that you can be your true, authentic self rather than just teaching a piece of content is also a big part of what I do and how I’ve been able to really, really grow my, my own business very, very, very quickly.
RV (15:11):
Well when you say talking to your past clients, like that’s so huge. Like, just cuz you kept the stories, I mean we did the trends in personal branding, national research study, you know, like earlier this year when we released it and it’s, you know, we were asking what we asked the average American citizen, what’s the most influential factor that contributes to you making a decision? And we said, Oh, the person is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, a New York Times bestselling author, they have a large social media presence or da da da da. None of those were number one, not even close. The number one thing was they said they have customer testimonials on their website. That was the number one thing. It’s like, it makes people believe that if other people are saying this is good, it’s, it’s the single most powerful thing and you just don’t get it.
RV (15:59):
If you don’t talk, you don’t call your past clients. Like if you don’t talk to ’em or you don’t survey ’em, you don’t, you don’t get that feedback. So how else, you know, when you think of account executive and, and I wanna make, you know, help me understand that term a little bit because at Salesforce you were doing truly like enterprise sales. You’re selling to like large companies. Some of our, some of our personal brands do that, right? They sell corporate training and they sell ’em to like big fortune 100 companies. A lot of, a lot of our, our, you know, listeners of the show and are more like small business entrepreneurs that, that sell more like business to consumer. So help us understand what does account executive mean? And then I know at Rico that wasn’t really like enterprise sales, that was more like B2B sales, but sort of give us the landscape of the different types of sales. And, and then what I’m specifically looking for is what is it, what can someone selling their personal brand learn from someone who has been selling enterprise accounts and like what’s the transferable skill set? Cuz you’ve, you’ve now straddled all these worlds at Rico. You were B2B at, at Salesforce, you were enterprise sales and now you’re a small business like solo per selling B to C to individuals. Yeah. So you’ve done it in all all three, which is very rare.
IK (17:21):
Yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s such a good question. So I think, I think if I can just pan out and give you kind of the, the landscape of sales. A lot of people think sales and they think like B to C, right? And in the big influencers out there on Instagram, whatever, that is not what, what I did for 19 years I did specifically b2b. And in B2B there’s really two segments
RV (17:42):
Of business to business y. If you’re not familiar with the term, B2B is business to business. B2C is business to consumer.
IK (17:48):
Yeah. And for anyone who wants to know how this relates to people who have their own per personal brand or entrepreneurs, if you are selling to a company, you’re selling your training, your coaching, your portal, your services to a company, listen up because that’s business to business, okay? There’s a lot of universal principles to that apply to all three, but I’m gonna kind of give you a quick school in, in, in kind of what the differences are. So, love it. There’s two types of B2B sales. There’s strategic sales or enterprise sales, and there’s transactional sales. So think of B2B transactional as I’m selling copiers, I’m selling paper products, I’m selling janitorial services, I’m selling something, computers, it’s a commodity, right? Short sales cycles, generally price is gonna be very important and it’s gonna be high volume. Okay? High volume, high activity, kind of grinded out, do the activity, then you build the pipeline, then you get the sales.
IK (18:44):
So it’s, it’s kind of like anyone can go into that job and if you’re a hard worker and if you just do what you’re told and you basically stick to the, the numbers, it’s very metrics driven. You’re probably gonna be successful selling commodity. Now, typically that range, you see people maybe go from like a hundred, 2000, a hundred thousand dollars a year, right? And, and top earners might make 2, 2 50, but in general you’re not getting paid because it’s an easier sale. It’s transactional, it’s high volume. And there’s not a lot of differentiation between providers cuz it’s commoditized enterprise selling B2B enterprise or B2B software. If you think of companies like Workday or Salesforce or Microsoft or Oracle or any of these IBM big C selling software, these are much higher volume sales. So these sales oftentimes are several hundred thousand dollars, or in my case, several million dollars.
IK (19:37):
Now, if company’s gonna spend two, three, 4 million a year with you, you better believe there’s going to be multiple decision makers. It’s going to be a longer sales cycle. You’re going to have more stages in a sales cycle where you have discovery and demonstration and actually you have to do a business case. Maybe it has to go to a board. So think of RICO as transactional for 10 years and then me going to Salesforce to sell enterprise for nine years. So I had to go from this transactional hustler, grind it out, hard work, do the activity selling rep to a strategic selling rep. And the skills are not the same. The skills of an enterprise seller selling software, you need to be able to get to senior executives in a company, not office managers or lower levels, but senior executives who are responsible for making those big decisions, right? So how to access the C-suite, that’s a skill. Another skill is how to put together a business case in an ROI so that CFOs can justify this type of investment. Another skill is what’s called multi-threading. On average, there’s seven decision makers in the enterprise selling space. It’s not one person, it’s the legal team, the IT team, the security team,
RV (20:47):
What do you call it? Multithreading,
IK (20:49):
Multi multithreading. Okay. So just, just for the sake, I don’t wanna get too technical, but for the sake of the different sales cycles, they’re very different. A strategic person needs more organizational skills, time management skills, project management. They are not hard closing because again, there’s so many different decision makers and it’s a longer sales cycle. So they need to build partnership and relationships with clients. That’s primarily what I teach in my coaching programs is how to do this B2B software, strategic selling. And the upside of this is, when you’re doing this well, you make north of seven figures. This is the elite, the NFL mvp, the highest paying sales job in any business to business sales is selling software. Okay? So if you wanna, if you’re thinking of your business to business and you want to make as much money as you can selling software, you can make seven figures a year as a individual W two employee, which is unheard of.
IK (21:45):
I never knew this was possible. I’ve done it a couple times at Salesforce. Okay. So that’s the second se segment of sales. The third segment is B to C. This is when you’re selling direct to consumers. So think of a real estate agent or Rory selling me the program of joining Brand builders group. This is what I sell. Now I sell individuals that are joining my programs. I also sell B to B because sometimes I do company trainings to go out and actually train sales teams. So I’m doing both B2C and B2B right now as an individual B2C sellers, the cycles are gonna be much shorter. Okay? It’s also going to be, typically you’re dealing with one decision maker. Maybe they need to talk to their spouse, but it’s a much, it’s one or two sales calls, right? Whereas the B2B could be 20 or 30, right? So again, you’re, these are six to nine month sales cycles in some cases. So it, it really is about getting to value very quickly. But there are some common elements of all three segments which are critical to success. And the reason I was successful in all three is I took those same elements of what makes people successful and I applied them to all three of those segments. So I hope that clarifies things for anyone. Like, cuz sales is not just sales, right?
RV (22:54):
Yeah. That’s, that’s huge. To just, to just understand that landscape and the different types of skill sets, you know, and there’s so many preconceived notions that people have about sales people and it’s like they’re usually thinking of one type, not all is like, I mean, a lot of people don’t realize that salespeople are some of the highest paid people in the world. I mean that in, in our organization, the highest paid people are the salespeople like that if, because without sales you don’t, you don’t have anything. So, so now thinking about personal brands and, and you know, just like you, like I said, a bit a part of our audience cuz when we sell keynotes, right? Keynote speaking is a B2B sales model. We’re selling to companies, they’re multiple decision makers. It’s a longer sales process. People are, you know, there’s a, there’s usually a, a event planning committee, you know, or speaker selection committee that’s a B2B sale.
RV (23:46):
In our former life we sold consulting, we sold training. That’s b2b. So there’s a lot of personal brands that sell b2b. There’s not that many personal brands that sell enterprise where you’re selling something that is, you know, 5,000 seats at a time. Yeah. There’s a couple that train the trainer model, which is like what Franklin Covey did, where that model is more of like where you’re shipping kits, which I don’t know if you’ve ever stumbled across anyone as a personal brands that do this, but you, you could end up being in this space one day, Ian, which is basically just like you, you create a kit right? On your methodology and then you’re selling it to United Healthcare to their HR department and then you certify people internally and then they buy 5,000 kits and you’re shipping, you’re shipping kits. Like that’s what kind of Franklin Covey model is.
IK (24:34):
Yeah. Yeah. And there are people, Grant Cardone, I think I, I can’t quote the numbers, but yeah,
RV (24:39):
He does some of that. He
IK (24:40):
Does Cardone University card company companies where all their sales team have seats. And I think that business, I mean it’s definitely eight figures, but I heard something around like 40, 50 million just for that specific line of, of Cardone University and that’s b2b. He’s got whole sales team. So it absolutely, if you’re a personal brand, if I wanted to scale up and take my program and then sell it to Salesforce, for example, where they have 20,000 users and then they go through my program, I could do that. It’s not something I’m choosing to do. But it’s absolutely relevant to personal branding space if you have programs that have, you know, audiences in those companies that you can sell seats to, for example.
RV (25:18):
Yeah, that’s really cool. I mean that’s a whole nother thing in and of itself, of going, you know, when you think about the vision of how big a personal brand could be, you know, like Grant Cardone is selling BTA c getting people to buy tickets to come to Growth Con or whatever. Yep. And he’s selling b2b, like they’ve got trainers going out to companies doing stuff and then he’s selling Enterprise Cardone University, like buy a thousand seats in this, in this virtual, like there’s a big, there’s a big world here of how personal brands can become, you know, multi eight figure and, and all of that. So I wanna talk about referrals and lead generation specifically mm-hmm. . Because what we find Ian is that that’s the number one thing that small business owners and like new entrepreneurs and new personal brands struggle with, is they don’t have enough leads.
RV (26:05):
A lot of times once they get into the conversation, right, they’re talking with someone, they do a decent job cuz they are convicted on their product. Many times at Brand Builders group, you know, we say as you know, we serve mission driven messengers. So these are people that have like dedicated their life to their expertise. They believe in it. It’s almost like they’re a bleeding heart where they would give it away for free because they just love it. What they have a harder time doing is creating sales conversations and meeting new people. So what tips do you have in the way of lead generation referrals? How do I get, I mean obviously content marketing, which is a big part, part of what we do. What, what your story is recently, but like you weren’t doing content marketing at Salesforce, you weren’t doing content marketing at Rico yet, you were still generating new business like crazy. So let’s not allow content marketing to be part of the answer. How do you generate, how do you generate leads?
IK (27:03):
I mean, genuinely you can do it in a number of ways. I think in, in B to C specifically what I do is I go on podcasts like this. I I, it’s part of my strategy. So I’ll go to a lot of podcasts and people will hear me. So I identified like the top podcasts that are in the sales specific B2B sales space. And I you know, I reached out to the podcasters. I actually hired a agent to help me get booked on this. And I, I probably do at least two or three podcasts a month and I get a lot of leads coming in through, through that. I think another channel is, is just referrals. I set up, I didn’t even set this up yet, but I have a lot of people in their programs that are coaching with me right now tell their friends about it.
IK (27:58):
So I’ll just have people reach out and say, my friends in the program is getting a lot of value. Cuz again, if you’re, if you’re people that are joining you are, are getting success, they’re gonna talk about it, they’re gonna talk about coaching. And so what I typically will do is I will you know, I won’t even ask for referrals, they’re coming organically, but I’ll ask people to share their success stories. And part of my 2.0 launch is to set up kind of what you did with, with bg. I, I have referred a ton of people to, to BG over over the years. But I wanna have that same affiliate structure where, you know, if people have had results, they can refer their friends. So now you have 70 sales people versus, you know, this, this mm-hmm. , you know, me trying to sell myself. That’s part of my no call, you know, sales approach. So I think getting the current customers to sell on your behalf and putting some skin in the game is a, is a huge one for them. And then again,
RV (28:52):
Oh, just so y’all know, what Ian’s referencing is we actually pay our customers lifetime referral fees when they, when they introduce someone to us. And so it’s like we, we have never run a paid ad and, and I want to, I’m trying to, but like we’ve been generating so much demand that we haven’t been able to scale our team fast enough to keep up with the demand coming from the word of mouth referrals because we pay people to do it too. So they actually make some of our clients make a lot of money. I mean, we have clients that make six figures a year just in referral fees. So
IK (29:24):
Yeah. And it’s coming. I, I’ve been building up now where I’m seeing, I’m seeing the impact there and I get the get the get the bill.com payment.
RV (29:33):
Oh, from us. Yeah. We send you money
IK (29:34):
Every month. Yeah. Yeah. Cause cause I believe in it and that’s the thing, like if I believe the program works and I’m a, and I’m, I’ve experienced firsthand I’m gonna be your best salesperson, there is, there’s no better salesperson. So really capturing the results and then putting a structure together where you have an affiliate program and if you are a personal brand, you can do this through like Kajabi’s got a tool for it and all the, you know, the ma major CRMs have have ways to set that up pretty easily to link you know, attribution to, to the referrals here. But, but
RV (30:05):
Even what I, even what I hear you saying is even if you can’t do affiliate links, just get your customers to share their story. Like that’s what it’s really about.
IK (30:13):
Yes, yes.
RV (30:14):
Get them results and then let them share their story.
IK (30:17):
They’re texting every time they text you and say, I got this. Capture it right and save it. So you can keep those text message every time you get a voice note every time anyone shares a success story or a win capture that, that’s gonna be your asset library on your website, on, you know, any sales calls you want to use. If you ever do a deck or a pitch deck or anything, you can share that. It’s just something I’ve done since the very beginning and it’s been absolutely huge in, in, if you go to my LinkedIn profile, you’ll see over a hundred referrals and it’s literally stories I, when someone finishes my program and say, if, did you have a good experience? Yes. Well, can you leave a referral on LinkedIn? Fortunately I haven’t had anyone that’s had a bad
RV (30:53):
Experience. Oh, a recommendation you mean? Yeah,
IK (30:55):
Yeah. A recommendation on they
RV (30:57):
Go write a public thing on your LinkedIn. Yeah, that’s another great one. Like the whole world can see it right there.
IK (31:03):
And, and I’ll just point people if they have doubts or, Hey, go read the recommendations. Like, I don’t want, here’s the thing. In order to be the, the common thread, I wanna give you some tips on what makes a great seller across all the space. So if you sell b2c, B2B keynotes, whatever, it doesn’t really matter. The, the common thread here. Here’s something really important that I want everyone to, to think about is the best sellers are not attached to outcomes, Okay? And it’s contrary to what may, may many people believe when they have quota goals or revenue goals. But if you’re focusing on your own outcomes, you are going to be inward focused where you and your goals are more important than your customer’s goals. You see, the best sales reps are actually invested in truly wanting to help their clients. So when they show up to a sales call or an interaction, they really wanna understand, does this client need my help?
IK (31:55):
Where do they struggle? What problems do they have? And am I a good fit to solve those problems? And if the answers yes, asking for money and getting ’em to a role is going to be the easiest part. So in a sales call, I’ll spend in a 30 minute sales call, 20 or 25 minutes really just understanding their world, their situation, where their struggle, what is the impact that these problems are having on their life, on their family, on their income. I literally will have people crying and happens almost every time where you really get ’em to open up and say, I’m not where I not wanna be. I’m not providing for my family, I’m not achieving the goals that I set out to, I’m sick and tired of this. And I’m like, Yes, you’re ready. Right? So it’s, it’s the same concept in B2B or b2c.
IK (32:35):
You really wanna show up with the intention of helping your client solve a problem or achieve a goal rather than trying to pitch or sell something. Okay? That is the common language of the best sales people, is they don’t, doesn’t feel to the customer like they’re being sold, It feels like to the customer that they’re sharing their world in that this person is interested in learning about them. So what I always tell people is, be interested, not interesting. In other words, the more you can show up with curiosity, interest, and really trying to understand the world of your clients, the more interesting you are going to become to them. Okay? So don’t try and impress, don’t try and pitch. Don’t try and, you know, show up and, and wow them, right? Or else like you’re gonna lose them. Instead just leave your ego at the door and be really curious and interested.
IK (33:26):
And if you can’t help them, then go in and it’s your obligation to get them to, to sign up because you know it’s in their best interest. And then again, closing becomes the easiest part of the sale. So I think that to me is like really key in terms of, you know, some of the, the commonalities across all these different, you know, different schools of sales. It’s like if you’re, if you’re selling keynotes for example, and, and you want to go in and, and position yourself as the keynote speaker for their annual conference, you’re gonna wanna know like, what is the biggest problems that your employees are facing today that you want the keynote to address? Where are are struggles? What do people wanna learn about? What are they asking for? What would you consider successful if they walked away from? What would you want the energy to be?
IK (34:11):
What is the biggest thing? Why’d you reach out to me? Why’d you reach out to me? A as a potential speaker, right? So it’s really, you’re, you’re trying to uncover their goals and what success looks like to them. And then you tailor your messaging around how you’re gonna help them. Cuz if you don’t know what they want first or what they’re trying to achieve or what their problems are, then your pitch is gonna fall flat. So I think again that’s really important. I want to give, give some of those tips away. But that’s, that’s the key. It’s like if you do that,
RV (34:36):
I think that’s the big thing people don’t understand. Like they think of sales is like being a, you know, a smooth talker and like having the right thing to say, like whatever. And just going, all you’re doing is trying to really understand what their situation is and, and can you help. So, okay so basically most of your leads come from your existing customers.
IK (35:01):
They’re all from content marketing. I know you don’t wanna but they
RV (35:06):
Down. I don’t mind hearing that. That’s what we teach people how to do, right? Like that’s, that’s I know that especially in a B2C world like content marketing, podcasting, social media, like, you know, email marketing, all that stuff. Can
IK (35:17):
I walk you through exactly how I got my leads? Cause I have 13 on my wait list, so I’ll tell you what my strategy is and you just, hopefully your users can use it. So find the channel where your clients are in mind. It’s b2b, right? Sales people. So it’s LinkedIn or if you’re again, potentially selling two businesses and you’re a personal brand and this resonates, this could be a source of lead traffic, this podcast, right? So fundamentally find your source and go there where your clients are. So wherever that is, that’s where you want to be most active. So anyone who I post every day on LinkedIn, okay? And people connect with me, so I’ll get, you know, 50 connection requests a day. Every person that requests me, not that I’m requesting that, that raises their hand and says, I wanna connect with you or follows you, or whatever it is, depending on the channel you’re on, I send them a message, right?
IK (36:04):
Or actually I have a VA send it and the message is simple. Hey, thanks for requesting me as a connection. If you’re looking to grow sales, right? And I only send this to the people that are sales professionals cuz that’s my icp. I wouldn’t send this to someone who is a marketer or project manager, just the one, I’d say, if you’re looking to grow your sales, here are three ways I can help. And I say, number one, I have an email newsletter that you can get new videos every week sent to number two. You wanna capture the whole archive, go to my YouTube subscribe here, and I have link to subscribe. And then I say number three, my coaching programs are completely sold out, but if you want to join the next coaching cohort, here’s the wait list link to work with me directly on that wait list link.
IK (36:43):
I have my pricing laid out, I have the program laid out, and when they sign up, they know what they’re getting. So when they sign up for the wait list, they know what the investment is, they’ve already raised their hand, they fill out a form, right? And if I really wanna basically call them or create true lead source, now I have 1300 people that are teed up and I could set up calls with them and I would have them fill out a form before they book it to further qualify them and make sure they’re fit using, using ly. So that’s kind of the way I’ve been doing it, minus the calls because again, it’s just me and I don’t have sales team right now, but that’s exactly, you know, the strategy that I was used. Once that wait list is ready for launch, then I’ll warm up the, the wait list.
IK (37:22):
So I basically cap my enrollment, I cap my members, and then I have a a nurturing campaign to everyone on the wait list, Hey, it’s coming get ready enrollments in three months, here are some success stories, here’s the curriculum. Hey, you have questions, just email me or reach out on LinkedIn. And so they’re continuing to hear from me. It’s not like five months and then they lost interest them, I’m nurturing them and then they’re also on my newsletter getting, you know, continued content where I can build that trust. Then before I launch, I say I only have 20 spots available. First come, first serve, put the link and in, and then I make it, you know, more of a, a time based in a, in a, in a cap, a member cap based program where I’ve already done the math and I know how many people I need to hit, you know, the target revenue goals for, for, for what I want to do. So that creates overwhelming demand because they need to get in and they know that it’s a limited offer and there’s only limited spot. So I, I love that versus just open all the time. Anytime you want it, just hop on a call. It’s here when you, you’re ready, right? So by the time I get to the launch, everyone’s like literally dying to, to get in the program. So that’s the strategy I’ve used and it’s working really well so far.
RV (38:27):
Yeah, I love that. That’s so great, man. I, it’s just so simple. I mean, it’s just, you know, adding value and building trust and then just letting people raise their hand and say when they’re ready. We are, we’re evergreen. Like we always, we’re like an evergreen open option. So it’s always interesting to see like how people use the launch strategy to, to sort of like build the demand and, and there is always that more natural urgency in a launch model than with the evergreen. And if you’re doing an evergreen model, you gotta, you gotta have some type of urgency for something. So I really love that. So Ian one last thing here. I already, so I already told everybody, you know, by the way, go to brain builders group.com/ian cognac, we’ll connect you to Ian where you can like download some of his free trainings and, and be plugged in with everything that he’s going, he’s got going on.
RV (39:20):
His last name is K O N I A K, Coac. Before I let you go, a few tips on closing. Like any other tips on like, if you’re in an active conversation, I know you’re not doing calls now, but you’ve done years and years of calls and, and you know, it, I think when you’re selling enterprise or when you were doing b2b, like even when you’re selling copiers, like that’s still a big decision. How do you bring people to a decision quickly? You know, on, on, especially like high dollar offers, right? So whether you’re selling, you know, millions of dollars of CRM software, or you’re selling them a copier that’s tens of thousands of dollars or a consulting program or a coaching program. Any, any tips or advice on like you said, if you’ve done a good job asking the questions and listening to their need and, and, and that this is the easiest part. So what would you say about closing?
IK (40:22):
I, I think again I just shared this, I, I’ll, I’ll give three tips that I, I think work well. But the premise is if you were attached to an outcome and you need to get the sale, you are gonna show up as needy and you’re gonna have commission breath and commission breath stinks. So like above all else, the tone and the energy you need to bring is one that this is for you. It’s not for me. This is going to help you. If you wanna do it, great, I’m here. And if you don’t, hey, that’s your decision. No, no sweat off my back. I’m here to help. But honestly, some people can’t help themselves. You lead ’em to water and you can’t hold their head and force them down to drink. They need to go down and wanna drink themselves. So I think that is a mindset shift more than anything else.
IK (41:10):
And in realizing like, Hey, I don’t need this to feel worthy. I don’t need them to sign up. Okay, this is good for them and if they miss it, it’s their loss. So that’s, that’s kind of the underlying energy. Now as far as like strategies or closing tips I think it’s really important, and this goes without saying if you’re, if you’re selling business to business, so if you’re selling a keynote or to a company, you need to be dealing with the decision maker directly. So never take no from someone who can’t say yes. So if, if they’re not paying for the keynote, you need to get to the people who are deciding what speakers are there and who are paying for it, right? Versus somebody who’s just collecting information on all the speakers, right? You need to make sure you’re dealing with the heads of that department.
IK (41:49):
So anytime I was selling coaching or training to a company or keynote to a company, I need to make sure I find out first and foremost, who is the key decision maker? How is this decision made? I have a framework that I use that I’m gonna give you called predict selling. So predict selling stands for P is the problem. What problem are you solving? Okay? That’s the P You need to make sure you know the problem, okay? The R is really important. It’s, it’s the why, the reason why do they wanna do this? Okay? What’s in it for them? What outcomes it’s gonna help ’em achieve. That’s the, that’s the r stands for reason, okay? The E is engagement. Are they engaged? Okay, In other words, go get their cell phone. Here’s another, probably give you five, five tips on this one acronym. The E is go get their cell phone, get on the text thread, Ro you and I are on a text thread.
IK (42:40):
Now if even if I don’t have anything to ask of you, I’ll share a win, I’ll share a voice note, I’ll share a memo, right? Because I want you to think of me right in general and stay top of mind for you. You wanna do the same thing with your clients. Drive engagement, get on text, thread with them and have a relationship. Okay? D is decision maker and decision process. Make sure you are dealing directly with the decision maker that is above and beyond the number one in B2B way. You need to make sure you’re dealing with the right person who can say yes. And you need to understand their decision process, right? Does it have to go to a committee? When is it going to be decided? Do you have to do legal contracts? Is there a purchasing department? You need to understand, especially if you’re selling as a personal brand to businesses, there are many layers of approvals that people have to go through.
IK (43:23):
So that’s the second D in is decision process. Okay? The I is impact. If they work with you, what is the impact? What are the results? What is the payoff they’re going to get? Right? So show them the value. That’s the i is impact. The C is cost of in action. If you don’t do this right, what is that gonna cost you? Are you gonna continue to be in pain? What happens if nothing changes in the year? Right? Really get them to say, Hey, let’s say you do nothing. What is your life gonna look like in three months and six months in one year? Very, very powerful. Tony Robbins uses that quite a bit to get people to want to change, right? Cause ultimately sales is getting people to change what they’re doing. So what is it gonna cost you if it you, if you don’t do anything, right?
IK (44:03):
There’s hard costs and there’s opportunity costs. And then the last thing t is timeline. Why now why is it important for you to do this right now? What’s driving this on your side? Maybe there’s a product launch, maybe they’re hiring some new sales people, maybe you know, they, they’re getting married. What whatever it is, like find out why now is relevant for them to enroll in your service. So if you can go through, predict and have all those question answers, by the time you get to close, it’s going to be natural and you’re going to basically say, Great, well it sounds like we can help you. There’s a lot in it for you. The timing is perfect. Let’s go ahead and get started. All I need is your authorization, right? So then ask for the business, right? Which is basically ask ’em to buy, tell ’em how to buy and then ask them to buy, right?
IK (44:45):
A lot of people are afraid to just ask them. So you just be direct and ask them. And then if they hesitate, they need to think about it. Don’t get off the call, find out like, hey, we’re here now. Do you mind me asking plain and simple, what is it exactly that you need to think about? What is it specifically that is causing you hesitation? Sounds like everything we talked about is a great fit, but I believe in full transparency. Would you mind sharing what it is? So be really direct and get to, you know, the true objection and then address, address it, right? That’s the bottom line. Address it, directly work with them. Make it a win-win. And and ideally, if it’s not a fit and they walk away, you know what? It’s their loss, no attachment, their loss. Plenty of go after someone else, like, no big deal. Move
RV (45:25):
On. I love it. I love it. Predict, predict, predict. I love your framework. I see your modular, I see your captivating content, modular content method frameworks. I love it. Build, building out the so good, Ian is so good. Y’all again, brand builders group.com/ian cognac. If you wanna learn more about Ian, if you’re looking for some sales coaching, this, you know, Ian is, you know, obviously got a wait list, but somebody that we highly recommend. And n I just love this brother. I’m, I’m, I’m so excited about the journey. It’s been such a blessing to know you and see you early in your career, rising as a salesperson, a sales manager joining one of the top sales organizations in the world, becoming number one now, teaching people how to sell because you’re most powerfully positioned to serve the person you once were. And that’s you brother. So thanks for being here, Ian, We, we believe in you brother. And just keep going out there and, and keep, keep serving and keep selling.
IK (46:26):
Thanks for having me, Rory. And thanks for all you do, for everyone out there that’s trying to get their message for, for so many people. You’re making a huge impact in, in, in my life and in my families and all of my customers as a ripple effect of what you’ve put together. So I appreciate you just as much.
RV (46:42):
Thanks brother. Thank you so much.

Ep 328: Authenticity as Your New Competitive Advantage with Erin Hatzikostas

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming, uh, at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:53):
Hey everyone. And welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand pod. This is AJ Vaden. I am one of your co-hosts here and I get the, uh, the honor and the privilege of getting to introduce you, uh, to a good friend of mine. Um, at Erin OSIS, you’re gonna get to learn all about her in just a few minutes and some really cool stuff that she’s got going on, and I will give her a formal introduction, but for all of you listening, uh, I want you to know why you need to stick around and listen to this episode. You know, we have had a mini guests on in the past that talk about research. Um, and today we’re gonna talk about not just research, but how research impacts you in your business right now today. Uh, we’re gonna be talking about the research on authenticity in the workplace.
AJV (01:45):
So to me it does not matter if you’re an employee, an employer, if you are so entrepreneur, entrepreneur, or anything in between, like this impacts you, right? We’ve heard it said before that, uh, data data is the real unique differentiator in the marketplace today. And I’m a big believer in that. I’m a big proponent in that it’s like data is the differentiator and Erin has gone out and done this amazing study on authenticity in the workplace. And I think that there’s some really interesting talk right now about the workplace and you know, what they’ve been calling the great resignation. Uh, and I don’t really know if that’s the right term, right? I don’t know if that’s the right term. I love what Ariana Huffington says. It’s not the great resignation is the great reevaluation. And I think looking at authenticity in the workplace and what does that even mean?
AJV (02:36):
And how does it, how does it impact our employees, our employers and the companies at large is a really important discussion to have. So again, it doesn’t matter if you are a staff of zero or a staff of 1000, this interview, this research, uh, this does pertain to you. So I hope you stick around, uh, and make it all the way to the end, because also Erin’s gonna give you a really cool link to download this data, to help you take that back to your everyday business. So without further ado, uh, I’ll give you just a quick highlight. Um, but Erin Hatzikostas is a former corporate CEO, turned professional pot stir in her own words. She is also the founder, uh, and CEO of be authentic, Inc. And as a bestselling author, she’s a TEDx speaker, she’s a podcast, a podcast host. And, uh, what she calls a, coachs a coach coach salted , that’s a tongue twister. Um, but she’s also the leader of the recent national research study, the impact of authenticity in the workplace. But I can also attest that she is a hilarious human being. Uh, she is an action taker. She is an amazing human being. She’s a mom, uh, she’s an entrepreneur, she’s all these amazing things, which is why I love her and why I invited her on the show. So Erin, welcome to the show.
EH (03:53):
Thank you so much. And like most people I have such a, I have such a girl crush on you, AJ. So it’s so jam out for a little bit, have you all to myself slash, you know, share you with thousands of people.
AJV (04:04):
Oh my gosh, I’m so excited to have this conversation. I really love having conversations with friends more than anything else, because I get to bring in like some of like the behind the scenes context of what makes you so awesome as a human being. And you don’t always get to do that when you have, you know, a quote unquote complete stranger on. Um, so it’s really always a treat when I get to, I have a friend on the show and, uh, talk about all the cool things you have going on, but then also just to help the audience, get to know the awesomeness that is, you know, these amazing people that we get to do life with. So I’m so excited. And so in an effort to help our audience get to know you just a little bit, can you give everyone a brief backstory of kinda how you got to where you are right from?
AJV (04:50):
You know, you’ve been a big corporate CEO and you’ve led teams of thousands of humans, and you’ve worked for really big corporations. And you’ve now been on the other side as a speaker and an entrepreneur and an author. Like we didn’t even have that in your bio. You’re the author of this awesome book. And you’ve got all these cool things going on, but those are like two pretty different lives. And so it’d be awesome to hear, like give us some context and some background of like this, you know, quote unquote, former life as this corporate CEO, why this shift and how did you end up here talking about authenticity in the workplace?
EH (05:27):
Oh, uh, I’d love to, and so first the first thing I have to say though, is, you know, quick story, my son, about six months ago, he was just like making a bagel in the kitchen and he is like, mom, do you know what a perfectionist is? And I was like, yeah. And he’s like, you’re an imperfection . And I was like, and I, and I tell you that one, because it is kind of what I do. I talk about authenticity and part of that’s being perfect. I also cringe when you start with accolades and like, because I teach these principles of authenticity, like I immediately have to tell you I was a total actuarial failure in my first career, et cetera, et cetera. So I just have to get that out of the way, because it’s, it’s how I operate. Um, but, but despite, yeah, so I started, um, at Aetna, which is a large healthcare health plan, um, now owned by CVS and sort of accidentally got there in the actuarial program, uh, spent three years taking actuarial exams, failed every single one of them.
EH (06:26):
Um, but the good news is it was a great company. It was a big company and, and much like a lot of your listeners, you know, I was able to sort of Bob and weave my way through some, some opportunities take on things I was highly unqualified to do. Um, but never once did I, you know, I have this career path, like I wanna be an executive or I wanna be a CEO. You know, I was small town girl, Northern Michigan, you know, got good grades, but didn’t know really much about, you know, running a company. Um, but, but I did find myself at one of the subsidiary companies that they had acquired and not found myself, I strategically went there and, um, was just lucky enough over the years, every time somebody would leave, they basically were like, look to their left and right.
EH (07:07):
And they’d be like, well, I guess we should give it to Erin. Um, and that happened all the way up till, you know, I took on the CEO position and, uh, I let a company, I was about a thousand people and we we’re kind of in the dumps, you know, financials had been flat for years. We were quite frankly, kind of the laughing stock of the company. It was a, it was an acquisition gone bad, a typical, like let’s bring in this great new sexy company and then give them, you know, no money and resources to do what they need to do to be successful. And, um, I took over in 2016 and I’m just really proud to say that in three years, uh, we took those flat earnings that we had been having and we tripled them and our employee employee engagement went up 12 percentage points.
EH (07:51):
Like we became kind of the darling actually of the parent company and all along the way as I was having success, I also would often think, I wonder what I’m gonna be found out. Hmm. And it, it wasn’t Asia. It, wasn’t your typical like imposter syndrome. Like I, I understood you kind of had to lean in a little further than you were comfortable. I understood the, you know, I, I, I felt like I had the intellectual chops. I had the relationships like, but it was more that I felt like I wasn’t sacrificing as much as my peers, you know, my, my other colleagues were traveling every week for, you know, client meetings. They were giving up vacations. They were, you know, I had one friend that moved her family like three times and like six years to sort of climb the ladder. And I thought, I don’t know how long my luck’s gonna run out with having this much success and not sacrificing as much as everybody else.
EH (08:45):
And, and so then, you know, I, I led the company for three years, decided I really was craving exponential growth that I couldn’t find there. And I didn’t think I would find it in the corporate world. And what happened was when I, when I announced my retirement, like 75% of the messages and conversations said the same thing they said, we’re gonna miss your authentic leadership. And I, it’s not that I was surprised like, Ooh, who me authentic, like it’s, but I hadn’t really been pinned with that badge before. And after all those messages, it was like, there was this moment where I was like, wait a minute. I’m not gonna be found out. I’ve been actually playing a different game than everybody else. And I started to realize that I had subconsciously, but pretty purposely used authenticities. And now what I actually have figured out how to teach, but I had used them to gain the best talent to, uh, negotiate deals, to stand out to the executives, you know, going to quarterly business reviews.
EH (09:50):
And everybody else was like giving the propaganda. And I was telling a story or I was telling them where we were, you know, pooping the bag and it really gained trust and St stood out. And so after stumbling my retirement, I went and did kind of something else, quote, unquote, started a software company, which I didn’t really build anything. But, um, and you know, I think this is really important. I had thought about doing the career and leadership space. I think this is actually really, really important for the audience. One of the buckets I considered was this career leadership space that I’m in, because I knew I had a lot to give and that I would do well, but I didn’t wanna do it. And here’s why, because in my head there were thousands of them and they were sort of a dime a dozen.
EH (10:32):
Right. And this is before I had heard of the concept of personal branding and doing, doing it differently. And so I actually avoided it until, you know, I started writing blogs. I would sit at hockey practice and I’m like, oh my God, I have so much to say. And I no longer have like lawyers won’t let me say stuff. And I was like puking out. Like I had, I remember having a word document, AJ and I, I never considered myself a writer. I was a math major, not a very good one, but a math major. I had 30, some pages of written blogs, just sitting up in like the metal benches at the hockey team. And what happened is I, two things happened, one, which I preach to people all the time. It’s like this lesson, I keep learning, but I also want other people to learn you shouldn’t not do something because you hate the way it was done before.
EH (11:21):
Hmm. Instead do it your own way. And so one, I was like, what do I hate about the career in leadership space? Well, it’s stuffy, it’s boring. It’s a bunch of HR people it’s blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I also listened to a podcast. And it wasn’t you guys yet, which I can tell about then hearing you guys and why it mattered so much more. I, I heard a podcast. Um, do you know, you remember the guy that has a podcast called, like Youpreneur I think, or so, yeah. Yeah. I can’t remember his name. Nice guy, but he’s a little bit like much a British guy, but I somehow stumbled upon it. And Aja was like, oh my God, this is what I wanna do. Like, I didn’t ever realize that, right. This concept. And you guys say it now a lot, you know, coaches, consultants, speakers, and authors, that there was a mechanism that there was an industry.
EH (12:08):
You know, all I had seen were these career leadership that were doing it, the old fashioned way, like go out and sell things and they didn’t have a brand. Right. And they, they weren’t speaking. And, and so when I realized that one, there was what you guys teach that is, so me, I love to speak, I love to do like the big things. Um, I loved the concept of personal branding and that I had also this message that to me, and, and what you said at the beginning was so right. Like I speak mostly to corporations, but I’m telling you authenticity always wins. And I’m learning that as an entrepreneur, right? Like the same things I did successfully as a, you know, a corporate nine to five executive are working here. And when I finally realized too, that it was teachable and that it was, you know, authenticity, isn’t this permission, it’s actually a power. It’s like something that can help you. It’s not just like, I was gonna give people permission to have a better career. Um, when I combined those two, that, that that’s when everything ignited and I got started on, on my path.
AJV (13:09):
Oh, that’s so good. And that you said something in there it’s like, authenticity is not of permission. It’s a power. Um, and I love that. And I, I wanna go back to two things that you said that you kind of skimmed over, but it’s interesting because, uh, prior to our call today, I was in my EO forum meeting. And so I’m a part of the entrepreneurs organization here in Nashville. And for those of you who aren’t familiar with it, um, you get paired in like these little small group forums. So there’s a group of seven of us, I guess, eight of us, including me. And we meet every single month for, you know, three to four hours talking about our businesses, helping each other grow. Um, and it was really fascinating that a lot of the discussion that my EO forum has had a lot of it by me is, you know, trying to figure out like, why is there such this culture of hustle and sacrifice?
AJV (13:54):
Like, why is it that, you know, in America and probably in many places all over the world, but I live here so I can speak to this more honestly. And authentic authentically is the more you sacrifice. Somehow the more successful you are, right? The more you hustle and grind and have no personal life and no family life, like the more quote unquote successful you are. And I heard you say that like you, and then it’s like, and if you don’t, you feel guilty. Right. And it’s, uh, it’s interesting. It’s like, I think about myself. I’m about to go on a, a very 10 day, a very, like a very, uh, like a very intentional 10 day vacation with my kids and my husband. And like what I asked my EO group to hold me accountable to is no work. And at the same time, I know that the reason I’m asking for accountability is because that’s gonna be freaking hard for me, because if I’m not, I feel like there’s shame and guilt tied to it. It’s like, oh gosh, my employees are working. I should be. And it’s like, if I’m not working, like where’s my worth then, like, what if I’m not valuable to the organization in 10 days, God forbid. And so I would love to hear from you both on the corporate side, and now on the other side, looking at the corporate side, where does that come from? Why is it there and how do we eradicate it?
EH (15:05):
It’s addiction. Uh, you know, I think Shonda rhymes, if you’ve never seen her Ted talk, remember the, um, the year of yes. You know, she talks about, I
AJV (15:13):
Haven’t seen her Ted talk, but I love,
EH (15:14):
Oh my gosh.
AJV (15:17):
It OK.
EH (15:17):
Yeah. So she talks about the hum and it’s very illiterate if it’s a beautiful, I mean, Shonda RHS powerhouse. Right. But she talks about the hum and getting addicted to the hum and it’s the hum and the hum. Right. You get, and, and, um, I think it’s really an addiction. Um, and what I always tell people when I talk about authenticity and part of this is, you know, I’m not a very disciplined person, you know, don’t tell Rory, like, I’m not a take the stairs kind of person. I just, that’s not how, you know, I’m a seven on the Enneagram. I’m a creative, but what I’ve found is the nice part is that what, what we teach in authenticity and, and to, to get to your point about like, why are we like that? I always tell people, I don’t change people. I change their addiction.
EH (16:03):
And there’s a detox period. Right. And so for, for example, in your example, change of addiction would be okay, you’re feeling like, okay, this anxiety, like I should be doing more, my team is, is working and I’m not. And if you start to experiment with, um, for example, you know, authenticity, one of my principles is model no better place to, to use the model principle than to go on vacation and model what you want for your employees. Yep. So many leaders would be like, take your vacation, da, da, and then they’re like, hypocrites, they’ll go. And then they’ll work. And what do you think the employees, what message do they get? They don’t listen. They don’t listen to you. They, they watch you. They told. And so a new addiction might be, you take this 10 day, you break free and you start to just, I want you just to observe what you see from your team.
EH (16:55):
For example, somebody that normally doesn’t get to do something, cuz usually you handle it and they step up and do it. And you see like the pride in their face or somebody that follows in your footsteps and says, oh, I noticed you weren’t checking in. I also didn’t check in. I so needed. I didn’t realize how burnt out I was. And, and so now it, you know, instead of being addicted to that ha like, I want you to start to get addicted to this new thing, which is leadership , which is self care. Um, and the benefits that come with that, which, you know, I firmly believe eventually, and not long will be even more than if you were to grind it out.
AJV (17:33):
Hmm. That’s so good. Um, but yeah, I mean there’s so much, I totally agree. There’s an addiction to it. Um, and a really unhealthy one at that. Um, okay. And then the second thing, um, kind of leading into this, you said, uh, I’m learning that I can teach authenticity. So before we get to the study, which I am super intrigued about, and I think it is really interesting and compelling, uh, because I think it’s lacking. I think people struggle with this a lot for a lot of different reasons. So I want like, I want you to define authenticity to you.
EH (18:10):
Yeah. What
AJV (18:11):
Is authenticity?
EH (18:12):
Well, so the way I define it is it’s about exposing who you are when people least expect it.
AJV (18:18):
Hmm love.
EH (18:19):
And, and so what happened, you know, so I said, okay, I’m gonna go do this. I’m gonna go teach it. And then I was like, oh crap. Like, how do you teach something that’s so inherently personal and such, you know, sort of fluffy unicorn DDO. Like how, how can I teach that? Yeah. And, but, but I knew I’m like, wait, I didn’t walk into work. Like I would walk into if I went to your house for a pool party, right. Like I knew there was something more nuanced about me and, and about the people that I consider authentic as well. And actually the first spark was good. Old Google, good old Google. I like, what’s the root word? And the root word is authentic coast, a Greek word and authentic coast means to be genuine. But it also means to be original and authoritative. And so when I saw that, I was like, yes, like authenticity is this more nuanced definition?
EH (19:14):
So actually when I teach, what authenticity is that first thing I do actually is deprogram what? It’s not. So authenticity is not simply being yourself. Yeah. I know that might be depressing. I know that might take a little exorcism, but it is not simply, it’s not the same as being yourself. And it’s also not transparency. It’s not synonymous. People always ask me like, but Erin, is there ever a risk of being too authentic? And I’m like, no, but there’s a risk of being too transparent. They’re not the same word. They’re not the same word at all. And so what, what the most important thing I teach people too, is that authenticity done right in business, in work is actually not about you. Mm it’s. About creating connection, building trust, intrigue, by being, you know, exposing things of yourself, being more vulnerable, being more humbled, using the principles, telling stories, things that you do.
EH (20:13):
Not because it feels better for you, but because it feels better for the connection that you create with people. You know, for example, you know, my first principal, I teach humility, not as like some fluffy adjective, but like purposely use humility. Like I mentioned, like, I have to tell you, I was a complete failure in my first career. And the reason you do that is because what happens then? You’re like, oh, she’s just like me. Like I failed that, you know, chemistry class or, you know, or you also think like, okay, she did not need to tell me that. So I’m guessing she’s not hiding anything else. Like if she would just go and tell me that, you know, she’s spill stuff all over her shirt, you know, two minutes ago or whatever it is. And so if you can think about authenticity, not about you, but, but doing those things that kind of buck the norm that, uh, you know, show a little bit of who you are to benefit somebody else, the reality is it, what happens? It comes right back to you, right? So it’s, it’s not selflessness completely. But if you think first about how you do it for others, then the rewards come back to you almost immediately. Um, so that, that’s kind of how I define it. And then, you know, this, this company I work with called brand builders group taught me how to put some more definition and structure and framework around it, which I have as well.
AJV (21:21):
Well, you know, what’s interesting is, uh, hearing that definition and hearing that earlier, you said you even struggled for, from not maybe what most people would identify as imposter syndrome, but a form of imposter syndrome. And you and I have had those conversations before of you not wanting to feel like an imposter and you know, it’s it, it’s interesting because I feel like most people who self identify with imposter syndrome, it’s probably also much of it stems from being around a whole bunch of people who aren’t being authentic. We’re trying to live up, we’re trying to live up to the image. It’s something that is not real right. It’s like, I, I had to, I did this like a couple years ago. It’s like five years ago now maybe. But I went through my Instagram and I unfollowed every single person that made me feel bad about people.
AJV (22:15):
And not because they were doing anything was my own insecurities. Right. But it’s like, they didn’t do anything, but it was like, man, if I can tell that you’ve airbrushed your photos, it’s like, I’m trying to live up to something that I will never li be able to live up to because we’re human and no human looks like that. Right. That is an animated version of human reality. And I was like, my gosh, I’m like comparing myself to something that’s not actually real. Yeah. And that happens all the time. Right. Unintentionally accidentally or not. But it’s like, look at people’s, you know, picture perfect snapshots in a moment. But what’s missing is the real, crazy chaos that isn’t, that is life. And that, I think that’s what makes us feel like imposters is we look around and be like, everyone else has it together. I must not belong here.
EH (23:06):
Yep. And we all have this disease, this disease that thinks we are the only ones that want it. It’s so funny cuz I, you know, I do corporate workshops all the time. A lot of ’em with executives and, and uh, they’re sort of like, well, yeah, I want it. But I, you know, I, I did my town hall the normal way because I, I, I assumed everybody else wanted the normal structure and the da da, da, da. And um, you know, what I say is authenticity in business and work is sort of like, and you know, this you’re in the thick of this, you know, when you take the boys to a birthday party, one of those birthday parties where like they might do the bouncy house and then they, you know, they all all go do the pizza and then they do the cake. Right. And you’re all stand, you know, the parents are standing around the perimeter and they get done with the, you serving the kids, the cake who just like grab it and ask for another piece. And, and then they come around and they ask the parents, would you like a piece now? What do most parents say?
AJV (24:02):
Oh, no. Good. I’m good. Thank you.
EH (24:04):
What are most people think? Most parents thinking,
AJV (24:07):
Yeah. I ask some
EH (24:09):
I want a piece of the darn cake. And that’s what, that’s what authenticity is. Like everybody wants the cake. And as soon as you know, it’s, it’s funny, I just did a podcast interview with another brand builder, um, this week. And you know, I, I mentioned, it’s not a permission, it’s a power, meaning it’s not just this passive thing. It’s like a power to help you. But we had a great conversation and he really noticed that, oh, but it is a power for other people. Mm-hmm and that’s what it is. So when you take that cake or when you, you know, show your messy room on, you know, Instagram, or when, when you do something authentically you, it is, it’s a power. It’s a, it’s a permission actually for the other people who have been sitting there wanting the cake the whole time, but too afraid to ask. And the reality is we’re all living in this world and I have millions of stories of, you know, senior levels, big grumpy executives who, when authenticity was used, it unlocked it for them. Um, and, and yeah, all it takes is one of us, you know, I say authenticities and is contagious since we all want it. You just, if the more you do it, the more others will follow and we’ll all be in a better place.
AJV (25:17):
Oh my gosh,
EH (25:18):
That’s my kumbaya moment. Huh.
AJV (25:19):
Oh, but it’s so true. It’s true. I think we’re all in search and desire of a little bit more of that in our lives right now. And probably always, but I feel like there’s definitely an era. There’s an aura right around, at least in my circle of going, I need that. I want that. And I didn’t notice that five years ago, um, maybe it’s me. Right? Maybe it’s like, I’m just more in tune to it today than I was before. Cause it’s more important to me, but I do notice there’s this more trend of man. It’s like, you know, and I think this is a great transition to your study and what I, I don’t agree with that. There’s this great resignation I do agree with. There’s a great reevaluation. And I think a lot of that has to do with everyone, having a chance to step back and go, what am I doing and why am I doing it? And do I want to moving forward? Yeah. A lot of it has to do with who, not just what, and so I wanna know, like why did you go the research route? And then what did you find in this national research study when it comes to authenticity?
EH (26:23):
Yeah. So, you know, it went, the research were out for a few reasons. One, um, quite frankly, I always wanna be standing out and you know, I’m so glad I wrote my book. I love my book. People love my book. Everybody writes a book. Um, so part of of it was just strategic. Like not everybody does research, right. Let me do something that stands out. But I’d say just as much, if not more than that, you know, what I talk about is so impactful to people, but it, it can feel so much like fluffy unicorn voodoo, right. And, and, and nobody had really, you know, quantified it, a lot of the, you know, articles out there. somebody on my team. She’s like, oh my God, I just found an article. And they quoted a study from like 2005, you know? Um, there, there was really nothing like it out there.
EH (27:13):
And I had pieced together and, you know, in my keynotes and things, I’d pieced together, different studies, right. Line of sight towards this data showed this, this data showed this and therefore right. Authenticity actually will get you more money is essentially the, the story. Um, but nobody had done that. And um, yeah, I mean, I, I laugh because you know what I talk about now, I’m like, you know, for three years I’ve been obsessed with authenticity, but I’ve, you know, largely been making this stuff up and now I’m not, I’m no longer making it up. Like and our research findings even blew my mind in the correlation to some, you know, critical things like employer retention, trust, uh, and many other factors. So I’m so excited that it’s out there.
AJV (27:56):
Yeah. I think it’s really powerful. Like one of the things that I, I get kind of like to what you said, and it’s the same reason we did research right. On personal branding. It’s like, man, we think all of this, but is it right? Is it true? And I think a lot of it isn’t like, wouldn’t have mattered to us because it’s like, but we still believe is still what we believe, but it was also just really amazing to go. We’re not the only ones, but then to also be pleasantly surprised about where we were potentially wrong or different. Right. Maybe wrong isn’t the right word. But it was like, it helped shape our perspective even on what we did and going, yeah. Like I do see that alternative and it allowed us to go really deep and an area that wasn’t even in our purview before.
AJV (28:42):
It’s like, I love data. I, I love, I’m such a nerd. Like this is like such my thing. Like that’s probably what one thing that people don’t know about me is like, I’m a real nerd. Like I love data. I love spreadsheets. I love geeky things. Um, my husband always says, that’s why you love me. And I’m like, yes, that’s why I love you. I love nerds. Um, it’s like nerd better for me. Um, and so I wanna know it’s like, if you had to like pick out like what were like the two or three biggest moments, ahas, whatever it was like, what were some of the biggest things that came outta the study that you feel like, I don’t care who you are. You need to know this.
EH (29:17):
Yeah. I would put them in a couple categories. Um, the first is there are a couple where the magnitude of confirming our theory or our thesis was kind of blew our mind. Uh, and those, you know, those were a couple of them, you know, you talk about the great resignation, but let, let’s just call it talent retention, which when I do corporate workshops, I always start, especially with the executives, you know, what’s the number one issue you’re facing. Cause I want them to know we’re solving issues. We’re not there doing fluff and it’s retention, retention, acquisition, talent, talent, talent, you know, and what was interesting. So I’ll tell you what we found. So we asked, um, one question, simple question. How much is authenticity practiced in your organization? And on that question, we did a Likert scale. So you know, all the time, you know, 5, 5, 5 scale liker, um, scale, and then like 10 questions later, we simply asked them, will you, do you think you’ll be working for your employer two years from now?
EH (30:15):
And then we pieced together those two questions. And we found that the people that scored the top of the Likert scale, like it’s always practice authenticity. So they have authentic culture were 92% likely to still be at their employer two years ago. And it literally drew a line like this, like 84%, 72%, 60 some percent, and then not practice at all. It was 40%. So the correlation between an authentic company, culture and employee retention was, you know, just perfect and magnified. Another one that the magnitude was, it was crazy. We asked people, um, is your leader authentic? Yes or no? Just a simple question. Yes or no. And then again, like eight questions later we asked, um, if your leader were, were to leave the organization, would you follow them? And people that said yes to the first question that their leader was authentic were four times more likely to follow them.
EH (31:11):
If they went somewhere else, 400%. And we found that correlation with trust. We also asked, you know, about the authenticity, the authentic culture. And then we looked at a statement that said, um, do you agree with this? There’s a high level of trust in our organization. And we found those with the, you know, the highest authentic culture. It was like, it was also a four times magnitude of trust. Um, so we saw, we saw, you know, basically our thesis was blown away in terms of the numbers. And then on the, the other category, I would say the surprising things, right? The things that we sort of didn’t expect, a couple things really stood out. Um, one were around executives. Um, so many people, right. Have this myth. It’s like, yeah, I wanna do authenticity or I wanna authentic culture, but right. The guy, you know, those dudes at the top, the people, you know, the executives at the top, they’re not authentic.
EH (32:02):
And it was interesting when we asked, for example, that simple question, is your leader authentic or not? When we looked at the three different job types. So we, we basically said, are you an executive leader? Are you an, an executive manager or something like that, a non-executive manager or a non-manager. So those three categories and the people that said yes, the most that their manager was authentic were the executives. And why that’s so important is that the people at the top are actually, as they’re hanging out, they’re having their one-on-ones, they’re having their meetings. They’re super authentic, right. They have these great relationships, but then as they face out to the organization, whether it’s through town halls, you know, part of the devil is the corporate com team that makes all their words and makes them into buzzwords. And so then people have this perception, right?
EH (32:58):
Yeah. Cause they have their scripts written for them. They have their handlers, they, you know, that they, they might feel like, you know, they have to Polish up or people won’t have confidence in them. And the reality is the executives are, are seeing their, their own bosses as the most authentic in the company. So that was interesting. And another surprising one was, um, that I was really curious about a sense of top sensitive topic, which is around, um, you know, black and other people of color, you know, this question. Yeah. But can they be authentic, right? Like there’s this, you know, feeling that it’s harder for them, uh, or it’s not as, as inter or as easy. And actually our data found that it was pretty much flat and there were a few places where there was not much of a statistical difference. Um, but we found in almost all of the questions, like, do you feel you can be authentic at work?
EH (33:52):
How important is authenticity at work? Um, et cetera, et cetera. It was about the same. And then the, the last thing around diversity, we found, we asked a question, um, if you’re looking for a new job, which of these factors are most important and we gave them eight factors and the top two were pay benefits, of course, and then flexibility, uh, which makes a lot of sense. The next two were authentic culture and authentic leader. And then what’s most important is what was below those below authenticity, quite significantly was the company has values that I believe in which we talk all the time about, right. Especially like the millennials and gen Z, they wanna work for a company has the same. That was actually lower. Um, getting the experience I need to build my resume, you know, basically was below that. Um, and then diversity of the company was actually last. And what I say about that is it’s not that diversity doesn’t matter, but it’s a great point. That diversity is all for. Not like if you check all the boxes, right. And you have all the percentages and numbers, if people can’t be themselves
AJV (34:58):
That’s right.
EH (34:59):
And so, you know, really authenticity in the terms of diversity, it’s, it’s the Trump card. Uh, and so that was, that was pretty interesting to see as well.
AJV (35:06):
Yeah. I think that speaks a lot too. It’s like, are you checking the diversity, uh, button versus is this an authentic, real part of our culture? Right. And it’s like, you know, even as a woman, it’s like, am I on this board because I’m checking your female card or is it because you generally want me here? And it’s like, I question that all the time. It’s like, I don’t wanna be your checkbox. Thanks. But no, thanks. Mm-hmm , you know, and I think that’s true. And you know, it’s, I think one of the things that’s really amazing. So you said something that I, you know, I kind of jotted down that I, I think is really important. It’s why, or I’m gonna ask why first? Why do you think it is? People can be more authentic, potentially one on one, but then as we, you know, go out to present the larger group, it’s like, we put on this like professional facade and it’s like, okay, now I have to be this leader, executive manager, entrepreneur owner, where it’s like one on one, like now you’re just a human. And then all of a sudden you put on this like whole new persona, which isn’t authentic at all, but yet that’s how you present yourself to the masses. Like, did that come into play in any of this?
EH (36:13):
Yeah, I mean, well, so, you know, I would not in the research, but I, what I would say it’s because people have four decades and decades, watch people not take the cake
AJV (36:23):
Yeah.
EH (36:24):
At the birthday party. And they’ve been so programmed that nobody wants the cake, or it’s not cool that they take the cake. And, you know, we just emulate what we see in front of us. It’s the same thing our kids do. Right. They, they emulate what we do, same thing in business. Like I always joke, like some dude in 1965 was really successful being stuffy and like having a process and people started to replicate it. Right. And it just regenerated. And then, you know, 30, 40 years later we’re like, oh crap, maybe that wasn’t the right formula. Um, but it’s, it’s about emulation because, because I know this because part of the reason I was able to start my experiments and get addicted and have that different game, that different path is because I had a father that I watched every day, come home and tell stories.
EH (37:09):
He was a teacher. And then, and then he retired and sold real estate. And he would tell story after story, basically of how, how incredibly authentic he was as a teacher and the funny things he had to do with the kids and the way he would discipline through a totally different manner. And so I got to see right people, I saw somebody eating the cake and then I was also very lucky, one of my first bosses, um, that took a big, uh, risk on me. She was the leader of our international division and she also demonstrated this authenticity. And again, it wasn’t just a permission cuz I didn’t just see her do it, but I saw her results. I, I ran her strategic planning. I knew our numbers every year we were growing the business. And so I got to tie together both the permission to be like that, but also that it created success.
EH (37:56):
And that’s why I’m out doing what I’m doing and trying to find as many people, right. To plant the seed because it’s simply that we have to start seeing something different to emulate that is not only more relieving and more fun, but you also are like, holy crap, look at the results they got. And I think you’re starting to, I, I, you know, it’s so funny in the entrepreneurial to, you know, kind of go to the entrepreneurial side of the house, you know, I, listen, I consume tons of stuff. Right. And part of brand builders is I listen to podcast. And so often I’ll hear people go, oh like, oh, this is such an interesting trend that I see. And they don’t call it authentic. And I sort of laugh and I’m like, like it’s authenticity. That’s why it’s working. Right. It’s you know, and people call it different things, but you’re seeing it all the time in the entrepreneurial world.
EH (38:44):
You’re seeing it LinkedIn, a huge trend. You know, I just listened to an episode of him, the LinkedIn guy that’s part of NSA. And he was like, yeah, she’s like stock photos. And um, you know, curated basically CAMBA picks don’t do well. It’s the, it’s the natural pictures. I was like, authenticity, you know? So I’ll hear things and I’m like, authenticity. I’m like, it, it works. It’s just about being aware of it, doing that experiment, collecting your own data for data geek. Like you, it literally is like collect the data to be like, Hmm. They open that email. Hmm. They listen to me when they normally are like distracted. Hmm. We sold more of this when we did this and then going, huh? Maybe if I do more than that, it’ll it’ll get better results.
AJV (39:28):
Oh, this is so good. I could literally talk about this for like three hours because I do think it’s something that we all so desperately need. And to me it doesn’t matter if you, again, I said this earlier, a manager or an owner, an executive, it’s like an employee, a, you know, part-time direct sales person, a retail shop employee. It does not matter. It’s like this impacts all of us. Like no matter what your role is, no matter what you’re doing, a parent, a teacher, um, it doesn’t matter a friend, a spouse, like , this goes on and on. Like, this is not just for the workplace. This is just for, you know, the human place. Yeah. And I love this so much because I do think that the more this happens, the more it’s like the more. And I love what you said too. It’s not just about being you. It’s exposing who you are when people Le least expect it. And that does come up from a place of humility and vulnerability, but also power and courage and bravery. Those things are not separate of each other. They’re tied together. So if people wanna get this study, uh, where should they go? Where should they go to download this study?
EH (40:32):
Yeah, you can go to be authentic ink.com. It’s just the letter B authentic inc.com/slash research. That’s a month. so authentic. Inc. Go to the show notes. I’m sure it’ll be in there.
AJV (40:47):
Show notes, but B authentic inc.com/research. And yes, we will put it in the show notes. And if Aaron, if people wanna just connect with you, um, to connect with your more authentic self, uh, all over online, where should they connect with you?
EH (41:02):
Yeah. I mean, you can go to my website and just check out all the things, but I, where I’m most active is LinkedIn. Um, I’d love to connect on LinkedIn. I am the only Aaron Hatti in the world. So if you can spell it, you can find me.
AJV (41:14):
Wow. That’s so funny because I’ve been saying Erin Hopsy for oh, oh,
EH (41:19):
That’s actually, that’s actually even better. Hoy Costa. You’re giving it the Mediterranean flare. I’m giving it the American, like you wanna try to spell it?
AJV (41:28):
I was like, that is like, you got it. I was like, Rory always tells me that he was like, they like, I don’t know what you hear, but you don’t hear the real words you just make. He’s like make up like all the words to songs. It goes, these are not the words. And I’m like, you’re not, I dunno what you hear, but it’s not what it is. Um, thank you so much for coming on. I love this. Thank you for bringing this topic to the table and also bringing in a way of like, how do we use this to better communication, better. Our leadership just better our relationships, right? It’s just like the more that you can be authentic, right? It’s like it has this domino effect of positivity and impact no matter where you go. And yes, that will lead to bigger, better jobs and more pay and stronger relationships and all the things. And thank you for bringing it to the table, but also in a light of like, how do we take this and apply it and see it in a different way where it’s not like you do you boo, but it’s like, Hey, like there is power in this. This is how you do it. I love this. I love you. Y’all got go check out this study, go follow Erin, go connect with her on LinkedIn. And then, uh, make sure you come back here next, uh, time on the influential personal brand. We’ll see you later.

Ep 326: First Steps to Launching Your Expert Business with Chris Ducker

RV (00:02):
Well, some people might say you should never, you should never promote competitors or people who do something similar to what you would do. And to that, I would say, let me introduce you to my good friend Chris Ducker, who does something in the vein, the similar vein to what we do at Brand Builders Group O, honestly, and he’s one of the best in the world at it, and I’ve known him for years. And I have always been someone who just rejects scarcity and believes in abundance. And if people can learn from me or him or both of us, all the better. Chris is one of the entrepreneurs, one of the pioneers of this space, of sort of online experts in helping them become more well known. He’s written couple different books that were sort of flagship to the space, so Virtual Freedom.
RV (00:49):
And then more recently, Rise of the Preneur. He’s got a program called The Preneur Incubator, which takes people who are just starting out as sort of experts in trying to like find their way as a year long program to help them make six figures. And he’s running a, an event coming up, a free experience where you can check this out. It’s called The Elevated Entre, the Elevated Entrepreneur Experience. And it’s coming up and he messaged me about it and I was like, Yeah, man, we wanna tell people about it. So we want you to sign up to check out the free experience. You can do [email protected] slash elevated. But obviously you’re gonna get a chance to meet him and learn about him here. I’ve had him on the show before. I really admire him. He’s a real entrepreneur. He’s built businesses in the Philippines, in the US and the uk. He operates out of the UK right now and has just truly built virtual businesses. Has a great reputation. We’ve got lots of of very similar friends that we, or friends that we share with one another. And anyways, he’s just a stud. So, Chris, welcome to the show, man.
CD (01:55):
Yep. This is so good. You called me a stud right at the end of the introduction. stud.
RV (02:01):
Yes,
CD (02:01):
I’m down with this. This is good. Can we end the chat now on that very eye?
RV (02:06):
I stud real,
CD (02:07):
Very real
RV (02:08):
Note. That’s, We’ll cut that for Instagram. Chris Ducker’s a stud. Yeah, we’ll just, and we’ll just push it, but it’s
CD (02:16):
Good to be back on the show, dude. Thanks again for having me back. Appreciate
RV (02:19):
It. Yeah. I, I, and I, I, I, you know, I think the easiest way to describe to people what you do is that in, in some ways it’s similar to us. I mean, in many ways, you, you help them build launch, build scale expert businesses. You help them figure out what they should be known for. And I love talking about it, and your stuff is super affordable. It’s super good. It’s totally legit and trustworthy, and I think people should know about it. So, you know you, before the show, we were just kind of talking a little bit about like, what’s the starting point for somebody and how figuring out what you want to be known for is like a big thing. And there’s, I think with, you know, obviously the pandemic, I don’t think we’ve had you on since Covid, right? So the world is
CD (03:08):
Maybe right at the beginning. I think I might maybe
RV (03:10):
Right at the beginning. But like you know, how, where does somebody start? Like what’s the, what’s the first step here of going, okay, maybe they just got let go from their job. Mm-Hmm. , maybe they, they finally bailed. Maybe Covid happened and they didn’t want to go back into the office. And so now they’re going like, Hey, could I actually run my own thing from home? What’s the first step?
CD (03:34):
Well, the first step is a little selfish actually. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The first step to figuring out how or what kind of expert business you’re gonna build is honestly to figure out what, what it is you wanna be known for. And I think a lot of people try to go too broad, too kind of wide, the beginning of it all. And they don’t understand the entire kind of process of nicheing down or nicheing down to our brothers and sisters from the other side of the pond there, you know, and genuinely like nicheing down as far as you possibly can go so that your language becomes uber simple to understand and just kind of like really kicks people straight away when they, when they discover you to think, Oh my God, this person, where’s this person being all my life? I need more of this.
CD (04:21):
That’s what we want. We want to ultimately become somebody’s favorite. That’s what we wanna do. And we will never become somebody’s favorite by being too broad, by being, by casting that net too wide. So, as an example, if I can share an example, like if you think health coach, there are a gazillion health coaches out there, it’s very vanilla nowadays to say that you’re a health coach, right? But if you say, I’m a health coach that works with men, now we’re starting to get somewhere. Now we’re starting to niche down a little bit. But if you’re a health coach that works with men in their forties and beyond, now we’ve niched down one step further, but let’s try one more step to really nail in here. You’re a health coach that works with men who are 40 plus who are recovering from major surgery. Boom, there’s your niche, right?
CD (05:13):
There’s your niche right there. Now, it doesn’t mean that you’re gonna have a thousand prospects visiting your website every single week, but what it does mean is that whenever anybody does visit your website, you and the language that you’re using in the marketing, the copy that you’re using, the imagery, everything, it’ll all sing to them. And they’re very quickly turn around and say, Yes, Rory’s my guy. I wanna learn how to be able to get back in the shape, how to get my strength back, how to start eating healthier again, and really give myself a new lease of life following my surgery. I’m gonna give this guy a call. Mm-Hmm. . So that’s the important, it’s really understanding what it is you wanna be known for right out the gate.
RV (05:51):
Well, okay, so I I love that. Concur with that. The when you said, when you said you may not have thousands of people coming to your website, but the people who come, you’re gonna be speaking right to them and they’re gonna say, Where have you been all my life? We use the term native tongue so that we say like, you’re speaking in their native tongue. Like there you go. They, they, they get you and they get that you, that you get, they get that, you get them. And it’s like, okay, what I have found, Chris, that holds people back is the emotional. In order to do that, which is wonderful and brilliant, you have to sort of separate and let go of this. Like, I’m gonna have 5 million followers and I’m gonna have 60 million people on YouTube, and I’m gonna be the person who’s on billboards.
RV (06:46):
And like, there’s like a, when you talk about nicheing down, it’s like you are at the same time, it feels like there’s almost like you have to do this emotional release of the desire to be known by everybody. Yeah. And instead say, I’m going to deliberately and intentionally choose to be known deeper by the few than a little bit by everybody. How do you overcome that hurdle? Like, what would you say to somebody go, and like, cuz I think that’s what people struggle with. They go, But I wanna help everybody. Right? And you gotta almost wave byebye to that. Or do you think, how do you think about that? Well,
CD (07:24):
You do. You gotta wave. Bye bye. You know, without a doubt. Like I say, like you gotta market like a magnet, right? That’s my thing. Like, you market like a magnet. So at the same time that you’re attracting the right people into your ecosystem at the exact same time, just like a magnet, you’re repelling away the wrong people, right? Like, we don’t want the people that don’t, you know, they don’t kind of jive with our vibe, right? Like if, if they don’t understand where we coming
RV (07:49):
From, Yeah, you can’t be here if you can’t jive with my vibe.
CD (07:52):
If you, if you’re not jiving with my vibe, baby, I don’t, I just don’t want you around. Simple as that. So like, I’m, I’m just a big believer that, you know, you put more of you into what it is that you’re doing, you will attract more likewise people into your world. So for example I practice boni. I like to drink fine single malt whiskey and American bourbon. I like to build Lego with my children. All these things make up part of me and my personality. So I’ll talk about those things when I’m coaching people, as you know, I’ll use examples of, you know, when you get a, a raw piece of material that will eventually become a beautiful bon eye one day, the branches are all leggy, and the scr in this foliage missing, and you know, all this, the roots might, might not be very strong.
CD (08:43):
And all these, you’re building up this tree from scratch, fundamentally by pruning back, by wiring, by feeding, by watering, by repoting, using different types of soils for different types of trees and all these types of things. All that, what I’ve just said, just there, that’s building a business too. We use different types of soil in different types of industry. In other words, we say and do things differently in one industry than would do in another one, and so on and so on and so on. The branches, the foliage, that’s staff, customer suppliers, product services, experiences, whatever it is, right? So when I talk about those things, people who get it get me, and therefore, you know, they, they, they just naturally gravitate towards me. So I think you have to kiss goodbye to a certain amount of the population. You could, You sh you can’t please all the people all the time.
CD (09:33):
And quite frankly, if you try and do it, it’s just exhausting. Plain and simple. It’s burnout is inevitable as far as I’m concerned in that scenario. And so I’m all about, like you say, I would rather have a hundred people on my email list that open every single email, buy everything that I put out, read every book that I write and talk about me when they’re at the dinner parties, the conferences, the coffee meetings, right? Rather than 10,000 people on the email list that do didly squat. Yeah. So I think by nicheing down, narrowing down that message, and also the big thing is the language that you use becomes that much more attractive to that person because you’re speaking directly to them based on wants, needs, pain points, et cetera, et cetera.
RV (10:23):
Yeah. Uhhuh when you talk about nicheing down, like, so in your example, you used you know, health coach for men over 40 who recovered from surgery. The, who is a big part of that example, men, the, the, it’s, it’s, you’re nicheing down by who you’re serving. So it’s sort of like the, what that you’re doing is health coaching, but in your example where you were nicheing down was by the who you’re doing it for. Correct. So it was like, it wasn’t what you were doing, it was who you were doing it for. Is, is that most of where nicheing comes from? Does nicheing come from, not so much nicheing what you do, but who you do it for? Or are there other types of nicheing or like is that sort of like the primary vehicle or like the most practical thing that people can do if they’re going, okay, how, how do I niche down, Right? Like, I’m an accountant, I’ve spent my whole life being accountant and so you go, okay, who are you going to be an accountant for? I mean, that’s clearly one way. Is that, is that the best way? Is that the only way? Is that kind of the most practical way or what do you think? I
CD (11:40):
Don’t, I don’t know whether it’s the only way or whatever, but I mean, like, I think it’s probably the most practical when you think about building a business. It’s hard enough as it is to build a business, right? Mm-Hmm. like, what is it, 87% of all small businesses crash and burn in the first five years or something like that. You know, it, it’s tough to build a business. I think it’s even tougher if you are casting that net too wide. I think if you are, you know, it, it’s for me personally, I just feel like if you are going into something with a very clear picture as to who you’re gonna help, you can almost paint that picture. Not only for yourself but also for them as well. The what or the how of how you help them. Obviously that can totally be Ned down as well. So perfect example is the differences between the two of us we’re very clearly in a very similar scenario in terms of the, the types of people that we help, right? True. We help people that are building a personal brand based around their expertise and the experience, the influence that they have in their industries. And ultimately the people that they want to serve. That’s a very, very strong
RV (12:52):
Similar who,
CD (12:53):
Very similar,
RV (12:54):
Very similar who, but the way that we do it is very different.
CD (12:57):
Couldn’t be any different. It couldn’t be any different. You go one on one all the way, I don’t wanna work with people one on one, It doesn’t fire me up. I wanna work
RV (13:06):
With people. That’s a great, that’s a great distinction cuz that is exactly, That’s exactly it. Yeah.
CD (13:13):
Yeah. I see. And like I said, right out the gate, you can be a little selfish. Like, it’s okay, this is your business, right? Just because I don’t help or work with people one on one doesn’t mean that I couldn’t do it, but I don’t want to do it. That’s the, you know, that’s the, the definition of why I don’t do it. It’s because I don’t want to do it. I want to pe I wanna work with groups, I don’t wanna work one on one. And so just because we can do all these different things doesn’t mean that we should do them all. I’m often, when I say that I, I instantly get a flashback to when I was learning how to drive my driving instructor. Her name was Vanessa and here in the UK around built up areas. The speeding limit is 30 miles per hour. And I just kept going right up to that 30 number look 29, 30, 29, 30, 31, 29, 30 29 30. And she pulled me over after about my third of my fourth lesson. She said to me, Chris, I wanna just clarify something real quick. It’s a speed limit. It’s not a speed target. Just because you can hit it doesn’t mean that you should be hitting it all the time. And that’s never left me that lesson. That’s
RV (14:30):
Good.
CD (14:31):
It’s just like the way that we monetize our personal brands. Let’s count ’em off books, coaching, high level consulting advisories on boards online courses, speaking. There’s so many different ways that we could end up ultimately monetizing our expertise. But just because we can do all those things doesn’t mean mean that we actually should do
RV (14:52):
Them. Well, for some it’s a speed limit. For some it’s a speed target. For others it’s a speed suggestion or a speed minimum. A speed, a speed, minimum speed suggestion. I have to tell you buddy. So, so we just got back from Australia and I rented a car and I totally forgot that they drive on the other side of the road from, we drive on in the US and I drove, I drove an eight passenger van for 10 days on the other side of the road. We had some like one time must
CD (15:24):
Have been in the middle of nowhere,
RV (15:25):
. It was like, it was, it was, it was, it was pretty crazy. So we just, we had the kids with us so we couldn’t like just take Ubers and stuff all the time cuz we got toddlers. So we need the car seats and all that. But yeah. Anyways, yeah, that’s a good, that’s, that’s good. Like people just go, Oh, they automatically assume that’s what you have to do. Cuz that’s just what you see like as available. So some people do events and masterminds and, and, and, and I do. I I I do think that and any other ways for nitching down? So we talked about the, the who, you know, the who you do it for, the, the, the, you know, the how you do it. Any, any other things that you would say there in terms of nitching down? I
CD (16:09):
Mean, you know, the, you know, the, the what and the why’s and everything. I mean that, I think that can probably all be pretty much, you know, integrated into those two
RV (16:17):
Major
CD (16:17):
Well focus. Yeah, I mean, you know, it really comes down to this, the type of person that I want to work with. That’s the who, you know, the why is because I feel called, because I’ve been in that position before. I want to help them out. Now I know what to do. You know, the, the, how well I’m gonna do it via these types of programs or this type of thing. You know, the when, well, I’m gonna do it, you know, the second and third quarter of each year, I’m gonna take the rest of the time off. You know, again, your business, you get to call the shots, you can be a little bit selfish but obviously at first you gotta pull back on the thro and tick some boxes and make sure that you’re doing things in the right way for the right reasons. And for me, that all centers around the person that you’re working with.
RV (16:57):
Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. I mean, from an advertising perspective or a marketing perspective, being clear on who you’re serving, this is one of the reasons. Yeah. Well, actually, let me ask this as a question. Why do you think it works this way? Why is it that nicheing down is a faster way to make more money than servicing everyone? Because it’s sort of not sort of, it’s directly counterintuitive. You would think, oh, the fastest way to make a lot of money is to just to make something that is available to everyone. But I think what you’re saying is the opposite. And I, I, that’s been my experience is that it’s actually you make a lot more money by serving fewer people. But why, why? Like what are the, what are the reasons? Why does
CD (17:49):
It work? Yeah, I
RV (17:50):
Why does it work, Right? Why does it work? Because I think if people really understand why, I, I really, I really think people are hung up on this emotional release of going, Okay, I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna have millions of millions of followers. I’m gonna find a small group and I’m gonna serve them really, really well. And if we can get them to kind of latch onto why it works and that it really is the way, I think more people will let go of that more quickly and, and kind of follow the path.
CD (18:18):
Yeah. Well I think, I mean, you know, again, I think it comes back to the language that you use. I think people, consumers are, clients are prospects. They wanna be made a fuss of, they wanna feel special. Who doesn’t wanna feel special? Who doesn’t wanna feel as if somebody’s talking directly to them, rather than just a whole bunch of folks, right? And I just, I I, I think that’s one of the reason why it works so well from a marketing standpoint. When you’re talking to somebody, an avatar specifically, and that avatar has a specific set of problems that you have a specific set of skills to help them with, you know, Liam Nielsen taken style, right?
RV (19:01):
Nice.
CD (19:01):
It, when, when, when you are doing that, you are going to be more successful than you were if you were, again, here’s, here’s me using the same term, casting the net too wide. And that’s the reason why it works so well. Because people wanna feel special. They want to be made of fuss of
RV (19:20):
Mm-Hmm. . yeah. So a lot of it is just language is, is, is, is just like, it is, It’s like you’re talking to them in a way that they understand. It makes them feel known, it makes them feel heard. So they’re, so, they’re really just drawn to them. Perfect
CD (19:36):
Example, I, I’ve got an accountant friend of mine who could be an accountant for any company on the planet. However he specializes, specializes in working with angel investors and corporations that invest in startup companies. Here in the uk there’s a whole bunch of government schemes in that regards. I’m sure it’s probably the same in the United States as well, but he works specifically with people who invests in and advise startup companies, right? He could work with anybody as an accountant, but that’s what he does. That’s his niche and he’s very, very, very successful. So I think it’s about picking one thing and just, and just, you know, running for the wheels
RV (20:18):
On, but in like, in that example, you go, Okay, everyone has an accountant, but if I’m that type of person, an angel investor, I need a specialized accountant, which means I can have two, I can have my general one, but now I can have my other one. So I don’t have to be the only accountant they ever hire because they’re hiring me for this specific thing. Like if I am a surgeon on this specific thing, you might have multiple surgeons in your life, but you’re gonna be like, I, I, I I need this one. Yeah. Alright. Well I love that. I think that’s really important. So I, I wanna shift the rest of our time to how do you get the first customer, because this is the other big roadblock I think people struggle with. You know, first of all, it’s like they gotta sort of let go of the, I’m gonna be all things to all people with all in all places on all platforms all the time.
RV (21:05):
You know, when it’s like you’re a solo entrepreneur or you have a few people, it’s like you can’t do all of these things all the time really well. The other big roadblock I think people really get hung up on is the first customers. Like the first sales are like, if you are doing this as a side hustle, you know, and you don’t like your job and you wanna do your own thing and you’re going, but I’m scared to make enough income to, you know, create a exit ramp, so to speak from my job. What, like, is it, is it social media? Is it going live? Is it sending emails? Is it blogging? Is it speaking? Is it, you know, knocking on doors? Is it like printing out flyers? Like what the heck? Like how do you get your first customers?
CD (21:51):
Well, it’s all of those things, but you can’t do them all, you know, So it, it’s, it’s choosing your weapon. The when I say that phrase, as you know, I’m basketball head. So as a hoop guy, I think back to the eighties commercials with Converse, where you had magic and you had Larry, both MVPs both won their championships, both had exactly the same pair of sneakers from Converse. Magics was white and purple and gold and Larry’s was black and white identical shoes. The two of them back to back muskets at dawn, holding the shoes, like guns with the phrase choose your weapon,
RV (22:39):
They
CD (22:39):
Both fit your foot exactly the same, but you’re either a Larry fan or you’re a magic fan, so you’re gonna buy the shoe that relates to that, to that person, right? Same sort of type of situation. Finding your first kind of customers is about, well, okay, I can, I can record a podcast and start publishing that every week, or I can do a YouTube channel, or I can be on Instagram all day long, or I can dance on TikTok. You know, I can do all these different things. But again, just cuz you can doesn’t mean you should. Not only that, but also if you go all in on one particular platform with one particular offer, you’re way more likely to get a sale happening sooner rather than later than you would do if you had a whole bunch of different offers and you were focusing on a whole bunch of different platforms.
CD (23:23):
So my advice really for anybody that wants to get kind of going with things, the lowest hanging in monetization fruit, when it comes to monetizing your expertise is your time. It’s you, it’s working with people one on one. Fundamentally, it doesn’t need to be done forever, but it is, it, it’s the easiest sale to make because you’ve got all this experience in your memory bank. Somebody else wants to download it into their memory bank. They’re happy to invest X amount of dollars per hour to sit with you and learn from you because you’ve been there, done that and you’ve been wearing the t-shirt for years. The only issue with that particular monetization strategy is it’s not super scalable, right? There’s only so many hours in the day, which means you can only work with so many people. Now, you could end up ultimately working with a smaller amount of number double triple called Dr all your fee and end up making more money that way.
CD (24:14):
But even then, your time is gonna get maxed out sooner or later. And so that’s when you have other monetization vehicles, like digital courses, group coaching, and that’s all the type of thing coming into play, Masterminds, things like that where you can ultimately make more with less effort, but straight outta the gate, it comes down to really just charging for your time. You know? And, and you know, I did this exercise maybe three years ago with one particular client of mine who was just getting started. It was in the branding and, and design world graphic design, that sort of type of stuff. And he had a good following on his on his blog, but it was kind of not really doing anything. And he was feeling a little bit down heartened about it because he’s got all these people on his email list.
CD (25:01):
I think at the time he had maybe a 1500 or so people on his list and he just wasn’t making any money. You know, you try, he was trying to throw a whole bunch of stuff out to see what people would bite at. And I just said to him, Look, Phil, the next time you send out an email, put a little PS note. I call this the power Ps put a little Ps at the end of your email that says, I never do this, but next month I’m opening up five spots on my calendar for five 60 minute consultation sessions. If you’ve been reading my emails for a while or visiting my blog for a while, you’ll know what I’m good at and what I’m not good at. If you think I can help you and you’re willing to pay, I think it was like 500 bucks for the hour, then click this link first five people to sign up. We’ll get the time. 24 hours, all, all five slots gone, two and a half grand off one email sent to a list that’s been emailed over and over and over again. Never bought anything because he wasn’t selling anything of value. So ultimately it really comes down to just choosing that weapon and choosing that vehicle, that platform. For him, it was email for you, it might be podcasting or for something else, and just sticking to that for a little while until you get some hits.
RV (26:08):
Yep, yep, yep. I love that. I mean, that’s, that’s great. So basically it’s just like any tool, any of those marketing methods will work as long as you mm-hmm. , but not, but doing all of them won’t work. It’s like pick the one, choose your weapon. That is really, really great advice. So I mentioned earlier, if everyone goes to brand builders group.com/elevated, Chris is doing a free three day experience. It’s called the Elevated Entrepreneur Experience. What do they, what’s gonna happen here, Chris? Like what, what exactly is going on? Tell us about this elevated entrepreneur experience. And again, URL brand builders group.com/elevated.
CD (26:48):
Yeah, cool. So this is, I’ve never done this before, actually. It’s the first time I’ve done it. What I’ve done is I’ve taken all of the best stuff that I’ve taught my paying clients over the 18 months from basically now going backwards, and I’ve put it into a three day cycle. So we’re gonna meet up three days in a row for about 60 to 90 minutes each day, Okay? On day number one, we’re doing what we call our diagnosis snapshot. And we’re kind of looking at auditing our business, what’s working, what’s not, what have we got, what have we not got, what’s missing? And even if you’re just starting out, this is a great way to be able to kind of really start to ascertain exactly what you wanna do and what you don’t wanna do. So we’re gonna be doing that as well as a whole bunch of marketing staff and platform building and stuff like that on day one, Day number two, we’re gonna switch gears a little bit and start talking about actually conversions.
CD (27:42):
So I’m a big believer that conversations lead to conversions. Like I genuinely believe that. And so one of the things that we do as a company every single day is we try and start as many new con conversations every day as possible because, you know, leads generated today end up being a client signed up this week or next week. That’s the way I look at it. And so what I’m gonna do on day two is I’m gonna teach a proprietary system that we use ourself, that I teach to all of my paying clients, that basically allows you to create a nice, steady, consistent stream of warm leads coming into your business every single day, every week, every month of the year, without even spending a single dollar an advert in a way that is simple to easy really easy to execute and understand.
CD (28:32):
And that will get genuine results for you. So we’re gonna do that on day two. And in day three, I’m gonna be walking everybody through what I call my six figure up and roadmap, which will show everybody step by step exactly what they need to do, and most importantly, when they need to do it in their journey, in order to get up to six figures and beyond as quickly as possible. Some people to go through this training will get up in over six figures or prorated, thereabouts within three months. Some people take a year, some people 18 months, but follow the system, follow the roadmap, you know, the hint is in the word, it’s a map. Follow it and you’ll get to your explanation.
RV (29:10):
Mm-Hmm. and Amen to doing things at the, in the right sequence. It’s one of the most heartbreaking things that I see is so many people spending money on the wrong things early in their business. They watch some Facebook ad and they invest in this thing that it’s like, that is step number 96, and you are on step one. And so I think that’s one of the reasons why we trust people with you and sending people to you also, because I know you teach them, you know, like we do. There’s a process to this. There’s a, there’s
CD (29:44):
Sequence, you know, it’s some things you should do, some things you should not do. And the things that you don’t need to do, don’t even look at doing them. Don’t even think about doing them. You just stay in your lane. Remember the movie American Wear Wolf in London? Do you ever
RV (29:59):
See that photo? I never saw itm. I remember it being around, but
CD (30:03):
It’s such a good movie. There’s a part at the beginning of the film where the two backpackers, the American backpackers are in Scotland or somewhere in the uk and they’re in an old pub one night, an old countryside pub. And this old scabby, crunchy looking old dude walks up to them and says, Stay on the path. Don’t drive off into the mos, stay on the path kind of thing. And what do you think happens? They go off the path, they go into the mos and one of them gets turned into a wol. So just follow the map and you won’t get turned into a Wol symbol. I don’t d you got, I dunno where I was going with that analogy, but I think you
RV (30:43):
Follow the map. It did. Follow the map. Stay on, stay on the course. Stay, stay on the on, on the, on the plan. So again, you can help head over to brand builders group.com/elevated if you wanna check this out. I recommend Chris. I trust Chris. You know, he’s a real entrepreneur. He’s built real businesses online and offline, which is very rare these days. So you can check that, check that out. Three free days with him getting a chance to, to sample some of this work. And buddy, I just I miss you. It’s good to see you. Thank you for making some time. I hope everything goes well and make sure you look us up when you, when you come back over to the, to the us the US of America.
CD (31:23):
Without a doubt. Without a doubt, man. I, I can’t, can’t wait to come hang out with you guys again and it’ll be nice to see AJ again. It’s too, it’s been too long that we’ve been hung out in person. I think the last time we saw each other was beginning of 2020 just before everybody went. Covid crazy, right? That that was the last time I saw you in San Diego.
RV (31:43):
Crazy. Yeah, it’s, it’s goes by fast that way. Well, we wish you the best brother. Thank you for being here.
CD (31:50):
Thank you. Appreciate it.

Ep 324: Life Lessons of an Entrepreneur with Denise Villa

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:54):
Hey everybody. And welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand today is super, super special. Cuz I get to interview one of my very closest dearest, best friends, Denise Dorsey, Denise vi I, I know Rory’s like it’s via not Dorsey but Jason Jason Dorsey and Denise are two of mine and Rory’s closest, most dearest friends. Fate brought us together on a, on a very unexpected, true value event almost 10 years ago now. Yeah. Which is impossible. They are just some of our most amazing friends. They’re also some of the smartest human beings on the planet. And truly Denise is the smarter of the two Jason to be more public facing but lemme tell you just a little bit about Denise and I’m not gonna read her professional bio. I’m gonna give you my personal bio on Denise.
AJV (01:54):
And I’m just gonna tell you guys why you need to listen if you are listening to this and you’re trying to decide if you should make the leap from what you’re doing to what you feel like God called you to do, you should listen to this episode. If you are a, a working mom, if you are trying to balance entrepreneurship, being a CEO, being an executive, being a leader, just being in the frigging workforce while also trying to balance being a mom and manage your family you should listen to this. If you’re trying to juggle multiple jobs all at once Denise is the CEO of the center for generational kinetics. She is still sitting as COO at a very amazing biomed company. She also runs a real estate development and investment group. Urban gravity’s, one of the fastest growing real estate developers in Austin, Texas.
AJV (02:47):
She is also an author of the economy. It’s like the list goes on and on. So it’s like, I often go, do you sleep? Like, do you like what? She’s also a marathon runner. It’s like, I’m like, I’m pretty sure I’m like way below standards when it comes to Denise and all of our accomplishments. But it’s like, you should listen. I’m going, man. Like what are the peaks and valleys of managing all the things because although they’re rewarding, they’re hard. Like let’s get real. They’re really hard. Also if you work with your spouse or you’re considering working with your spouse, you should listen to this episode. If you wanna write a book or you wanna go out and speak or think, think about this, not only working with your spouse, do you also wanna write, write a book with your spouse?
AJV (03:35):
Like these are all the things that are Denise villa Dorsey that you should stick around and listen to. And that is just really scratching. Really truly like barely scratching the surface of all things. Denise and I would say most importantly of all, I’m so excited for this interview. One, she didn’t wanna do it. She was super reluctant because she’s super humble. And doesn’t often put herself in the spotlight and so I’m genuinely excited to help the entire world get to know your brilliance and you’re, you’re so steady. Like you’re so consistent and calm and sometimes I’m sit at the dinner table with you and Jason and Rory and Jason is so animated and him and Rory are over there, scheming their ideas. And I’m like, people like, what are you talking about? and you’re so patient and calm and supportive. And I’m like, dear God, give some of that’s like, I love that so much about you. I, I really admire you in so many ways. So thank you for being on a podcast today.
DV (04:44):
Aww, AJ, you’re so sweet. I think the podcast is over. I’m gonna take all these beautiful things you just said and I’m done
AJV (04:51):

DV (04:54):
And I’m excited to be here with you and thank you for having me really.
AJV (04:57):
Oh, I’m just so excited. And I’m honestly, I’m too, I’m so excited to get, to hear the parts of you and your message and these, these interesting parts of your life and your career that don’t get to come up in normal conversations where, when we’re with our kids or when our we’re and our husbands, or we don’t have extended amounts of time together for you guys listening. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, as you may know. But Denise lives in Austin. So our times are like far and through between. And so when there’s so much to catch up on like so many of these questions, I’m like, oh my gosh, I don’t know the answers to these. I’m so excited to see what you’re gonna say, but, okay. So we’re gonna start here of helping our audience get to know a little bit about you.
AJV (05:40):
And I think a part of your backstory is really unique and really important to the people who listen to our podcast. Because as I mentioned this to you, it’s like much of our audience are trying to make the decision of, do I stay where I am or do I go and do something different? Right. And there’s nothing wrong with where I am, but at the end of the day, I just feel like something’s missing. Right? Sure. Part of me that’s like, could I really do it? Or is there something bigger for me? It’s like, is this what God really intended for my life? And, and I think you’re one of those unique people in our life that it’s like, you made a really dramatic shift in your professional life because you were already so successful as a teacher and then a principal and in the world of education and academia.
AJV (06:32):
And that’s like, that’s a no joke job, a super underappreciated underpaid job, by the way. But you made a major decision of going, I’m going to leave, like what? I went to school for, what I thought I was gonna do my whole life, what you’ve been doing, what you’ve been very successful at doing to go out and go, I’m gonna, like, I’m gonna jump this ship and I’m going to join the crazy people on the world of entrepreneurship. And what I would love for the audience to hear is like, what’s a little bit of your backstory of like, where were you? What made you want to make that kind of jump? And ultimately, why did you do it?
DV (07:08):
Yeah, no, that’s a great question. And I’ve pondered that a lot, I wish I had like a, a straight answer and it was exactly at this point, but I think a lot of things happened and when I reflect back on it I wouldn’t have traded any of the experiences for it, but it was kind of the catalyst to move forward. So at the time I was a a principal at a, at a high school in Texas, a 2200 student, so very big 200 over 200 faculty. And things were going, you know, full, full on crazy times. Like just, you know, the amount of hours you put in. They need to, all those kids need to, you know, and it was my job to, to do that for everybody. And I loved it. It was fulfilling. It was really a great place to be.
DV (07:58):
I was also doing my PhD at night. So I was finishing my dissertation. I had also just finished and completed a year of, of an internship for super. So that was kind of my pathway. And I was on this pathway. I knew where I was going and my husband who’s been entrepreneur since he was 18 never known anything else. And was also traveling at that time. I probably 220 days out of the year. Wow. And you know, I just took a moment and we both did, and we’d had some really big life changes happen. Within that year as well. One of my best friends was diagnosed with stage four cancer. And one of my other best friends was gave birth and ended up being in the hospital with a hole in her heart and they weren’t sure she was gonna make it.
DV (08:52):
And there was just a lot of things going on. Quite honestly. And my husband said, you know, why don’t you take a moment, let’s just take a moment and breathe, finish your dissertation take a sabbatical and, and go back to education. And I said, no, , I couldn’t imagine doing it. In fact you know, if anybody’s making a big leap, I’m sure you go through lots of ways to try to figure it out. I was sick. I was sick to my stomach almost every night for about a month. And I finally got there to say, you know, God help me to think through this is this where I need to be. And I just felt like it was. And so I did. And about two months later this opportunity just kind of opens up and being an entrepreneur of nothing that was done on purpose.
DV (09:50):
It wasn’t like a, you know, I had didn’t have a plan in place. It just, it just was. And basically once that opportunity happened, I just jumped both feet in and, and did it. And I love education. I love the kids, I, the parents, schools everything about it. But now that I’ve been an entrepreneur now for 15 years, I think, going on, no, actually going on 17 there’s no other better place in the world for me. I just enjoy so much and I still help people. I just help in a different way. And I think that’s why I enjoy it so much.
AJV (10:31):
I love that. And you know, it’s interesting, like this is like the third conversation I’ve had in a really short time period where I have talked to someone who had some sort of life event that occurred in one of these pivotal decisions that they’ve made. You know, I’ve, I’ve had those. And I was just talking to someone earlier today about that she left a very high paying corporate software job of, you know, what happened is her mom was diagnosed with cancer and she goes, man, is this how I wanna spend my days? Is this what I wanna be doing? And like, to hear you about a friend and then the daughter of another friend. And I know that these life events cause us to wake up, right? Like so evident, so many, right? So many of us, what I’m curious is just to hear your genuine opinion and your perspective of why does it take that sort of thing to actually cause us to do what we want? Like, what is it about us as humans, right? That’s like, I’ll stay on this path, even though I know there might be something more for me until we realize life is short. And it’s a lot shorter than I used to think yesterday, because today I have news I didn’t have yesterday. I’m just, I’m so curious, like, what is, is it that
DV (11:54):
I can’t speak for everyone, but I think for, for me I’m very goal oriented. So I mean, I’m still goal oriented and my husband does this too. People think we’re crazy about this point, but in my bathroom, I have a glass board, not a white board, a glass board, and it has all of our goals for the year so that we can see them every morning when we’re taking a shower, when not
AJV (12:16):
Taking a shower,
DV (12:17):
They’re just like right in front of me, there’s no reason not to pass it up. So I think for me as very goal oriented, I set these goals. I wanna be a principal by this age. I wanna be a superintendent by this age. I wanna do X by this age. And, and then life just continues happening. And, and then all of a sudden you’re given a moment of pause because of some life extraordinary event. That just for me, you know, just put everything else aside and, and gives you pause and thought and, and how, and what do I wanna do? I mean, I spent the last days of my friend’s life with her and I could not have done that as a teacher or as a principal. I just wouldn’t have allowed me to. So I wouldn’t change that transition for anything.
DV (13:07):
I mean, I was meant to be but I do think that you, people just go on this journey and it’s just so fast and furious you know, that we don’t take the time to, to stop for a second. And then we get the time and, and we think, is this where we’re supposed to be? I mean much like COVID yeah, COVID paused the world. And then so many people that came out of it were attorneys and now there’s screenwriters and moved to Costa Rica or, you know, people that were screenwriters who were like, I don’t wanna be this anymore. I wanna do this. I mean, and I just think that we don’t have enough pauses in our life.
AJV (13:46):
Oh, I love that. I’ve, I’ve shared this quote a few times now. But I was reading an article and that just like flashed across my screen one day. And it was from Ariana Huffington and she said, people have been calling this the great resignation, but I don’t think that’s what it is. I don’t think we have a great resignation. I think what we are experiencing is the great reevaluation yeah. Of what do we wanna do and how do we wanna do it? And what’s the in and what’s worth it. And is, is money really the answer to all the things. And many of us discovered, no, it’s not.
DV (14:21):
Yeah, exactly
AJV (14:23):
Not. And I think that’s a huge part of it’s like these life events cause us to reevaluate what we thought was important.
DV (14:29):
Mm-Hmm right. Yeah. No, exactly. And I think that you know, it’s, it’s that pause and then also, you know, how quickly is the next pause too? Like, you know, cause like I said, I’m goal oriented. So then I started creating all these next goals and then you start moving and moving and then you have another pause and you think, is this where I’m supposed to be? So I think for, for society as whole, we are all trained to just go and move fast. I mean, I mean that’s to respect the hustles right behind me. I mean, I do respect the hustle at the same time. We have to give some time to, to think I’ll share something kind of vulnerable for myself too. So I just turned 50 last week, May 8th. And I was thinking about the last six months coming up to my 50th was just a, really a big reflection for me again, of where do I wanna be with my life. For the first time, life didn’t seem as long as it did when I was 48. And you know, you only have so many years left. I wanna make sure that I’m spending them for me the right way. So I think that’s been another life event for me is coming into this age and I, by the way I love being 50. I think it’s great. 50 is a new 30. It
AJV (15:52):
Is. And 30 age is just a number,
DV (15:55):
But it does. It gave me pause. Just thinking about where I wanna go.
AJV (16:00):
Yeah. I just, I sometimes, and I, I totally feel that and it’s like, you know, my husband, Roy’s turning 40 in just a few weeks and I’m not, I’m giving myself, I’ve got a full, like what, 22 more months before
AJV (16:16):
. Yeah. And so I, it’s one of those interesting things where it’s like, even that, of like these milestones of like, wow, it’s like to what you said. It’s like somehow, you know, in, in the, in the switch of 24 hours, it’s like, life just feels a little different and it’s like, am I spending it the right way? Am I doing it the way? And I, I have asked this to Roy several times over the last few weeks. And I’m like, why don’t we ask ourselves when we’re 25 or 30 or 35? Like, what is it about life that causes us to actually find what we wanna do at later ages? And I’m, I’m curious to you because it’s like, not only are you a CEO and you’re an entrepreneur and you’re an investor and you’re all these awesome things. You’ve also had the privilege of being EO president. So for those of you don’t know, EO is the entrepreneurs organization, but you were EO president for EO Austin through the pandemic.
AJV (17:09):
So you also, you have an enormous entrepreneurial community. And one of the things that I think would be really interesting for our audience because it’s like what I tell people all the time, it’s like a personal brand should be treated like a business because it is one, it is one, right? It’s your reputation. It’s what people think of when they think of you. And regardless of what that looks like rather you are an executive or an employee or a salesperson, or you go out on your own as a solo entrepreneur or you build a company. It doesn’t matter anywhere in between. There are components of entrepreneurship that are present in everything that we do. And so what I would love to hear from you for our audience is what do you think are the necessary skills? And those could be mental, emotional, or tactical skills that it requires for someone to make it as an entrepreneur.
DV (18:05):
Oh, that’s a great question. So patience, I think is one. I have a lot of patience. Some entrepreneurs would disagree. They would say patience is not, is not a great one. And I would disagree with them back. There is so much patience needed in becoming an entrepreneur. It’s not overnight successes. All the overnight successes. Majority of them were never overnight. If you think 10 years is overnight, that’s their overnight success. Nobody ever talks about the 10 years before the overnight success. So I think patience is one tenacity. Tenacity is huge. You’re gonna get shot down. You’re gonna get said, be said, no, you’re gonna say, they’re gonna say that this is the worst they’ve ever seen, whatever. But if you truly believe in what you’re doing, then you, you you’ll keep going. You definitely just keep going. So it’s necessity would be another one. I think also being a listener, not just a communicator, not just being able to speak eloquently and, and cheer on the crowd, but to also be a good listener. Hear what people are saying, take that in, take the feedback, make the adjustments go back out there. I think those three are probably my top ones that I feel that are necessary to be a great entrepreneur. Other at least for me,
AJV (19:33):
Oh, I love that. And I think, you know, the patience one, I didn’t expect you to say that, but that is so true. Like when I said earlier, it’s like, you’re so steady. It’s like patient, would’ve been the other word. It’s like, you’re so patient like you are. And I think that’s like, I think that’s a really great reminder to everyone who’s listening today is yeah, there is no such thing as an overnight success like that does not exist. You see the success overnight, but there is no overnight success, right? It’s like, correct. Just cause you just learned about somebody doesn’t mean they hadn’t been hustling for years. Exactly. Get to that point. And I love, I love it when people say, oh man, they just came outta nowhere. And I’m like,
DV (20:11):
Really
AJV (20:13):
Thing. Like come outta nowhere that it’s like, you know, our awareness of someone is what makes us think like, oh man, they just blew up and it’s like, Mel, they didn’t blew up. Right. They’ve been building that engine for a really long time and then they just turned it on. Right. Exactly. That’s a great reminder to all of us, of man. It’s not gonna happen overnight.
DV (20:35):
You know, nothing ever does. And nothing that is worth really having at the end of it is ever just so quick. It’s not like a, it’s not like a light switch. And I also think the, the three that I mentioned are great. Especially if you have a partner that has the opposite of the three . So my husband does not he’s my business partner does not have patience. So, you know, that helps us balance out because he will be like kid going, let’s go. I need this right now. And I’m, and I’m so patient I’ll be like, ah, you know, okay, give me, let’s just be patient about it. So it really like, you know, it helps me, it helps him, I cool him down. He gets me going a little bit more. So I think it’s also helpful when you have the right person next to you.
AJV (21:23):
Oh, that’s such a great transition too. It’s like Jason and I share more of those personality traits and you, and yes
DV (21:29):
You do do
AJV (21:30):
we often find ourselves talking, man, we think so much alike. But I think that’s a really great transition into partnerships. Right. And you know, whether it’s with your spouse or not, there’s, you know, ups and downs, highs and lows peaks and valleys of working with someone else in a partnership. But especially with your spouse. So I’ve got two questions for you. One, what advice would you give to anyone who is in a business partnership of how do you make this the most effective, efficient, successful relationship possible? And I think it’s also really important. It’s like, I know way more partnerships that have ended that also ended relationships, friendships separated families, right? It it’s like a divorce completely, so many ways. And it’s like, just like a marriage takes a lot of work, so does any friendship or partnership.
AJV (22:28):
And so I, one I’d love to know it’s like, what have you seen both personally and just in the entrepreneurial community of what makes a successful partnership. And then the second thing is I wanna talk about, and then how do you work with your spouse? And you and I both sit in the boat and I, I share this with you often. It’s like, there are so few people that are at my life stage married to their business partner where we’re the sitting as the CEO of the company, we have young children, like it is a rare situation in most events. And it’s got amazing, beautiful components and really frigging hard ones. And I know a lot of people who get started, like they get started with their spouse cuz that’s who we can afford. Right. it’s like, we’re, that’s all we can afford. So. Okay. So first let’s talk about partnerships and then I wanna talk about what, what advice would you give to people who are working together, both as partners and then as married partners?
DV (23:32):
Okay. No, that’s great. I think for me, number one is trust. You have to trust your partner, your business partner infinitely. If you do not or have reservations or even have like a little inkling that their trust isn’t there, it’s just not gonna work. It’s just, I can’t imagine going through every single day of what people do in a business and not completely 100% trust your partner that you’re working with. So that would be number one. Number two for me is figure out what you’re good at, figure out what your partner is good at and then stay out of each other’s way. We learned that the hard way working together. And I think the first year we really overstepped on Jason stepped over on my toes. I stepped on his and it wasn’t until we figured out our lanes and we stayed in ’em that we were able to grow and we were able to be successful in our partnership.
DV (24:35):
And, and even now, I mean, we’ve been doing this together, you know, almost 15 years and every once in a while we crossed lanes and we’re like, uhoh Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope. Let’s get back in our lane and I think that is very helpful for, for us and for other partners. And I think lastly, this has to really do, if you’re married to them, maybe not your, you weren’t married to them, but we really came up with rules around our household as well. Now I will not say that I follow every single role to a T. But I try. And the last thing we wanted in our relationship was our relationship to be all about work is so easy to all of a sudden all the conversations we’re having or about work or about your kids. And we just didn’t want that.
DV (25:27):
So we set boundaries on times a day that we can talk about our business on the weekends. You know, there’s no disgusting on Saturdays and on Sundays you can only get me until noon. Because if you’re my husband, he wakes up at 6:00 AM. He wakes me up at six 30. And the first thing you have is out of his mouth is, Hey, did you get this transaction done? Or, Hey, did you close this deal? And I’ve not even opened up my eyes for like two minutes yet. They’re like, can I brush my teeth first? So we really laid out boundaries around that. That was very helpful. And then, you know, finding people like you and Rory, I mean, you guys are amazing, but finding other like people that you can have the conversations with and talk to people, it’s a rarity of what you and I do with our husband and to have that back and forth with somebody to share it with is phenomenal. And that’s very helpful.
AJV (26:22):
Yeah. I think, you know, you said two things in there that I just wanna like pull out. Cause I think these are so significant is one of them is around the trust factor. It’s like, you’ve gotta give your partner. And you could say your partner is anywhere from a vendor to a contractor, to an employee. It’s like, I think this transcends just a business partnership, but you’ve gotta trust and give them the benefit of the doubt even when you’re not sure. And so my question to you in this is how do you build trust in business?
DV (26:52):
Oh, that’s a good one. So I’m all in or I’m all out. That’s my, so I in business, if I’ve decided that you’re my partner, whatever that is my salesperson you’re a partner in our business. You’re a vendor, anybody, anybody that we’ve touched, I’m a hundred percent in you’re on our team. I completely 100% trust. However, if that trust is broken is really hard for me to repair it. And that’s just me, myself. I’m a hundred percent in giving you everything, but if you break it I’m out. And I, I tell people that front I’m very open and honest without with anybody that I work with. Like you have everything, but you destroy it. And I walk away. Like I just, I just not worth my time nor can I do I wanna work on it to get it back. I just don’t.
AJV (27:50):
So I’m just writing this down cuz that’s like, I think so what I hear you saying and what I’m writing down is that it’s like, you have to make a choice to be all in. Yeah. Right. It’s not like, oh, it just happens. Right? It’s like, no, I’m choosing to be all in. And I’m choosing that. You’re my partner. I’m choosing to trust you.
DV (28:07):
Exactly. Exactly. No reservations, because if there’s any reservations, then there’s no reason for us to even be partners in anything.
AJV (28:17):
Okay. So that is so, so, so I guess one of the things that I’m hearing too is this has actually been a really recent conversation in our household and our business is Roy’s always telling me, babe, you’ve gotta give me the benefit of the doubt. you gotta give me the benefit of the doubt and it’s like, I want to, but he goes, there are no buts whether you do or you don’t Uhhuh. And one of the things that I have to remind myself of is that is a choice, right? I’m choosing to go this is whatever it is that you’re doing. This is for the good of our family and our business. And that’s a, that’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a chosen perspective shift. And that’s a bit of what I’m hearing in you too, of going no, it’s like, I’m all in or I’m all out. And it’s kind of like what they say in the court. It’s like, you’re innocent until proven guilty. It’s like, I’m gonna trust you until you, until you show me, there’s a reason not to trust you.
DV (29:09):
Right. Exactly. And for people listening I’m a lot like RRY so it doesn’t, we share a lot of the same characteristics. So surprised
AJV (29:21):
Patience is one of virtues. I have other gifts, other gifts. But it’s like, but it is, I think that’s like so important it’s like in any relationship is you’ve gotta make the choice to see the benefit of that. I have to make the choice to trust you. Because if not, then everything is filled with doubt.
DV (29:41):
Yeah. And, and then you’re going behind their, their, I wouldn’t say their backs, but you’re going behind and trying to double check the work. Did this get done? Did that get done? Did you know everything? You know, and it’s just, people make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, we’re all human. And there’s a difference between like, oh, I messed up. That’s a mistake. And there’s a difference between a total mistrust of something that you did like that the, to me, those are very different.
AJV (30:10):
Okay. I’m,
DV (30:11):
It’s an error. I’m not forgiving when you deliberately, you know, right. Needed me to not trust me.
AJV (30:18):
Yeah. The same thing with like your kids, right. It’s like, yeah. You know, it’s so much of leadership of business is parallel to parenting. Being a parent has been the best leadership training on the planet.
DV (30:33):
like,
AJV (30:34):
If you like, it’s like trying to get these two little humans to do something that I want them to do. And there’s no incentive. There’s no money. There’s no, like, it’s like, oh man, OK. I’ve gotta really get my negotiation skills to work with these two humans. But I think that’s like so true. It’s like, but it’s all in a choice of like, I’m choosing to say, you know, Jasper, I know that you wouldn’t intentionally knew such a thing, but that’s a choice because the other half of me is going you little rat. I know
DV (31:08):
,
AJV (31:08):
You know, and it’s like, that’s such a choice and it happens in business all the time. Right, right. It’s so easy to fill our mind with. Well, I mean, they’re just doing this because you know, it’s easier for them or I’m the one stuff doing all the really hard work they’re out there getting to do what they love and what they’re passionate about. And then I get stuck with everything they don’t want.
DV (31:26):
Mm-Hmm yeah, exactly.
AJV (31:27):
That’s really good. The second thing I wanna highlight is you talked about these rules. So can you give us an example of like, what’s a role that you guys have in your house to protect, you know, your personal relationship? So the business doesn’t take takeover?
DV (31:42):
Sure. So one big role is, like I said earlier about talking about business. So no talking about business on Saturdays and Sundays, we can start after 12. And so I will say, you know, Jason could talk about business 24 7. So you know, sometimes 1140, he’ll be like on a Sunday, Hey, I have 10 more minutes and then we can start talking about this. So that, that’s one thing, another thing is date nights, you know, date nights, we go out, we make specific rules that we are not talking about business at all during this date. And it’s so easy for it to come up. Mm-Hmm , I mean, you think about just even a typical work day and you’re out with your spouse you know, how was your day? Well, I did this at work. I did that work. So to take that completely out of the equation, I mean, it is, it is a little tough, but you know, I, and so does Jason, we’re both on the same page about this. We just refuse to let it dictate our life to each other. Because there is more after this and we know that and we wanna continue that journey together forever. And so how do we create kind of this foundational work, even though we’ve been married 16 years to continue that so that we have those places to grow later.
AJV (33:02):
So what do you guys talk about if you don’t talk about, if you don’t talk about at your daughter and if you don’t talk about work, what are you guys talking about?
DV (33:10):
Ah, what we talk about things we wanna do, where we wanna go, you know, places that maybe we wanna live. We talk about, you know, our families, our parents, maybe we, my husband travels quite a bit still now. And so there’s a lot of things in a week that transpire that I never get to even tell him about. I told him I’m a podcast with AJ. He’s like, there’s just like a lot of things that you have that you never get to share. And so we talk about things like that. And then we talk about I’m part of entrepreneur, you know organization here in town. I have a lot of entrepreneur, friends and things that are going on in their world and I wanna hear about his friends. And so that’s the, the timing that we use to celebrate those kind of experiences.
AJV (34:03):
Yeah. And I, I ask cause of genuine co you know, curiosity for my own marriage. But also because I think that’s really good for all of us to go, you know, this is like one of the big mantras. That’s in my life right now is that I want people to care much more about who I am than what I do. Yeah. I don’t wanna be defined by my work because that’s how I defined my own worth for a really long time. And I’m in recovery from finding all of my worth in my work. And what I have found is like in all general natural situations, it doesn’t matter if it’s with my husband or at a networking meeting or at my EO group or, well, a group of friends, like somehow it always transitions to, well, tell me more about what you do. And I’m like, it’s so hard to like pull out of that world and go, no, actually just wanna talk about I,
DV (34:59):
The best book you just read
AJV (35:01):
Or something. And it’s like, it’s like, it’s amazing. And I don’t know if it’s this way all around the world, but I know that it’s like this in the United States. It’s hi, here’s my name? And the next question is, so what do you do? Yeah. And it’s ingrained in this component of our lives. And it, it folds over into work is the majority of what our life is about. And I was so genuinely curious of not just for our own spouses but for each of us out there of like the thing that I love about personal branding and reputation is that it’s at the heart of who you are and who you are, has nothing to do with, with what you do. It’s a piece of it is not who you are and finding things to talk about that allow people to get to know more of who you are, I think is a kind of a novel idea, believe it or not. Well,
DV (35:51):
I also think that people have to be open to the discussion, right? I mean, in the United States and I, I I’ll say this just in the United States, you and I both travel a lot outside of the United States, but here, so many of the conversations when you meet someone are so superficial. Yeah. And they don’t go deep. And what I have found, you know, as being part of the EO community for the last 10 years, I mean, they really trained on like specific questions and to get deep and come vulnerable. And if you’re not gonna be that person, then we don’t need you in our community. Mm-Hmm and I’ve taken that kind of thinking onto people. I just meet anywhere. And it’s very uncomfortable. I will say, cuz I get deep really fast. But if,
AJV (36:37):
If
DV (36:37):
You’re not gonna have a meaningful conversation with me, well, you know, there’s a hundred emails I could probably answer. And I really wanna spend the time with you and get to know you and learn, how did you become you? And I’d rather have that conversation than answer the hundred emails for sure. Oh
AJV (36:53):
Man, I’m gonna write this down. How did you become you? Not what do you do, but how did you become you? I’m always writing down what are good questions that I can ask that are not, so what do you do or tell me about your work or like that’s a really good one. So so do you, do you ask that to people?
DV (37:13):
I do. I do. I do ask that the, the first, the first glance, you know, especially if they’re outside kind of the entrepreneurial world, not heard about these things, they look at me going, excuse me. Oh, what, and, and so then it’s really probing. Like how did you become you? Where did you grow up?
AJV (37:33):
The first
DV (37:34):
Question you have, like, you know, just kind of going down the journey and then you see the person getting more comfortable. Cause at the end of the day, people like talking about themselves, they really do. It’s just, we’ve been trying to really, for a lot of people, we only speak about this and we don’t speak more about this and we do this and you’ve learned kind of these ways to put yourself out there. So that you’re, you’re captivated in the best light. And so when you kind of go in a different route, people are just more willing to have conversations. And then you’re able to share about you and your story and your authentic self of who you
AJV (38:11):
Are. Oh, I love that so much. Anything that helps me create stories around, tell me who you are not about what you do is like a big thing in my life right now, I was at a it was a charity event thing and I was standing outside, standing in line to get a glass of wine. And this young lady walks up to me. She just introduced herself. You were just like chit chatting. And she just says, well, what’s your name? How do you know the host? And she goes, how do you fill the hours of your week? And I was like, I’m sorry, what , how do you fill the hours of your, that’s
DV (38:45):
A great question. I’m gonna write that.
AJV (38:49):
I stopped in my tracks. And I said, you mean like, what do I do for work? And this was like six months ago or something. This is like, kind of like triggered my own default to asking these silly questions. And she’s like, well, I mean, that could be a part of it, but you know, just how do you feel the hours of your day? And I was like, well, in the mornings started, I was like, well, in the mornings I have two toddlers. And so, and then I started like regurgitating my schedule. And she was like, that’s so fascinating.
DV (39:21):

AJV (39:22):
It was one of those things. I’m like, how do I spend hours? But it was like such a nice of, and then I said, are you intentionally trying not to ask like the people do for work? And she goes, yeah, it’s a really intentional effort of mine. And I said, I’m totally stealing this and I’m gonna . And I was like, and thank you so much for caring more about me and just how I filled my hours than the stuff that I have on my business card. And she was like, you’re welcome. And she just walks away. Lovely.
DV (39:52):
I love
AJV (39:54):
Very similar. It’s like, so tell me about how you became you. Right. I love that. I, I love that. And so, alright, so I’m gonna flip that on you. So Denise, how did you become you?
DV (40:06):
Oh, I should have never given it away.
AJV (40:12):
You
DV (40:12):
Know, I think our life is fools with, we talked about it, ups and ups and downs, right valleys. I’d say I became me starting with a very strong minded beautiful kind mom. I was very fortunate to have her in my life and, and to have her in my life. So my dad died and I was five. And my mom raised me as a single mom for wait till I was about 14 when she remarried. Luckily for me though, I have 52 first cousins and 32 aunts and uncles. So I always had family around. And I think, you know, they helped me become who I was. All those cousins all lived in the same city. So we were always at somebody’s house. I was always playing sports. I was mostly boy cousins for some reason we didn’t , there was a lot of girl cousins should have been 50 50, but it wasn’t. And then you know, you continue on your life. And for me, probably the biggest thing in my life was moving to Austin and going to undergrad. And hopefully my mom will never hear this podcast.
DV (41:30):
I think it was probably one of the only lies that I’ve ever really told her, which at that time in my life, I really needed to get away. It was time for me to fly the co and she really wanted me to stay. And I graduated from high school, top 10% of my class, and I’m a first generation college graduate. My family didn’t know really the how to make the transition for me to go to college. And I said that UT Austin was the only college that accepted me and I wasn’t accepted anywhere else. And, and mind you, I did pay my own way. So this wasn’t a financial burden on my family, but I needed to go. And I left and I, that was probably a huge pivotal moment. So I went from this little pond of an all girls Catholic high school to all of a sudden 50,000 students at UT. And it was awesome. I loved UT . I had a great time a college barely pass, but I got through it.
AJV (42:36):

DV (42:39):
Awesome. And then I just, I kept growing. I found my passion for teaching there and felt really fell in love with it. I really felt that was the right place to be. And I would not have found that without two things, one, my mom who gave me permission to look outside of making money and to really find something that I was good at. And then secondly, was an offsite internship I had to do at the school for the blind, visually impaired and the two together and the young boy that I was working with at the school paved my way for the next 14 years. And then you know, there was lots of movement and I think years later, about eight years after teaching six, six to eight years, I decided that I wanted to go in and get my master’s and then my PhD in education.
DV (43:34):
And I think for me that was also a big pivotal point. I think I realized that I could do something even more than just for me, it was helping my classroom than it was even more. If I could help the school, then it was even more I could help a district. And so I really wanted to expand that. You know, so I think that’s really, and then from there I came an entrepreneur and then that was, you know, that was crazy. I mean, our journey has been fascinating at our companies. I’ve worked with the largest brands in the United States. We’ve been truly blessed in so many ways. And I think all of those things made me mean , ah,
AJV (44:20):
I love that. And I, I think, you know, this whole thing is like building an influential personal brand. And I think the best way you can build influence is you just get to know someone that’s the best way to have influence it’s. If I don’t know, you, you have very little influence over my decisions day to day, but if I know you and I, I like you and I trust you, you have great influence over my daily decisions and behaviors. And I, I love that. And I think if we all need to be a little bit more focused on how did you become who you are not, tell me about how you did all these things you did. Right.
AJV (44:56):
And I, and it’s like, and I still, like, there’s still a huge part of teaching in you. Right. And for those of you listening you know that about a year ago, we talk about this all the time. We launched our, you know, national research study, the trends and personal branding you know, it’s Denise’s company, her and her husband’s company that fielded this research for us. And it’s like today, he’s like, you run a team of researchers, right? It’s like, there’s still that education component that has stayed with you, even through your entrepreneurial journey. It’s like, you are a research firm, right? It’s like, you’re doing research for books and you’re doing research for these huge brands, but there’s a seriously academic part of what you do that has made you so successful
DV (45:39):
Completely. And thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Teaching is, is embedded in me. I love it. Sometimes I come off just as a teacher or my husband always gets mad at me. He’s like, don’t use your teacher voice on me. And I don’t mean to, but I, I love, I love getting educated. And so kind of my love language is to serve others in the, in that same way. So I really enjoy being part of those educational moments with our team and training our talent development programs that we do even like our talent acquisition and just teaching about the jobs. It it’s, it’s fascinating. And I get so much inspiration by seeing somebody’s face to slide up. I mean, I remember when I was younger, I started teaching when I was 22 and I remember thinking how that would never go away for me.
DV (46:36):
And you know, now I’m 50 and it still has never gone away for me. It’s, it’s almost amazing coupled with, and I will share this coupled with now, many of the students who I was in educational, like I said, for 14 years, just about so thousands of students that I’ve interacted with and I get every once in a while, somebody who pops up who comes up to me and says, are you miss be? And I say, yes. And, and they say something that just, you know, makes me smile. Like, I remember when you said this joke and I’ve always kept it with me, or I’ve had a couple of people say I became a science teacher because of you, those moments in time, you just they’re true blessings.
AJV (47:21):
Amazing. No, I’m not miss via I’m Dr. Via ,
AJV (47:25):
, that’s who I am. I love that. I think that’s so awesome. And I know I’ve just got one last thing I wanna bring up. And I know that we’re rounding out our time together, but you recently went on a pretty big research endeavor with writing your first book. Yes. And so Z economy is all around, you know, gen Z and the rise of this new generation. Right? Finally, the heat is off us millennials. and put the heat on the new emerging generation. And a huge part of that is you did that in partnership with your business partner and your husband, which I’m sure was no easy feat. But you guys did massive amounts of research. Yes. To put out this book. And so just give us that high level of why do it on gen Z and like, if there was like one thing that you learned through this process of doing research for your own project, right? Not for other companies the process of writing this book of, you know, getting all of your thoughts and research on paper or just on gen Z. Like if there was one thing that you’re like, man, through this entire journey of the research, the writing, the topic, doing it with my husband, like this is the one thing that I would share with someone who is interested in knowing a part of my journey, this would be it. What would you say?
DV (48:52):
Okay, those are good questions. So why gen Z? So our company is really founded on separating generational myth from truth. So that’s the core. And it was founded because we were finding out that CEOs were using data and the data wasn’t matching what they were saying. So that’s kind of how our company really started is, well, if they’re taking this data and it’s not matching what they’re saying, there’s teaching element and saying, they’re not understanding the data for some reason, another, or the data is not being read in a way that shows the information correctly. So let’s just make our own research company, that one shares the data correctly and shares a story that goes with it. So gen Z is kind of that new generation. There were so many myths that came up with millennials and you guys did get a lot of hate. not by us a lot,
AJV (49:52):
A lot of it.
DV (49:54):
And so of course, when gen Z started coming up, there was a great way to bring out what we were seeing with this generation. And we have been following them for probably a good seven years now. And what I love about this generation from the very beginning was really their, their money sets, which was huge, never saw it in any other generation except the baby boomers. And so that has been a huge part of them and their hard work and diligence which once again, was being portrayed in their earlier lives. And I think we’re seeing it again still into adulthood. So those are two of my favorite aspects about gen Z. I’d say the learning part of writing a book with your spouse. So this was two years of a labor of love. And I will say labor of love it was a long time and not only was it a long time, our writing styles are completely different.
DV (50:59):
I have come up through an academic work body of literature writing as you’re being published for different peer reviews, right? It’s a very different writing style than my husband who is a, you know, a, a published author multiple times over that has a very different voice and merging those two together. Oh my goodness gracious. That was probably the hardest things that we did. But at the end of the day, it worked, it took a lot of giving on my part and a lot of giving on his part. And there was many things if you get the book and you’ll notice, oh, Denise definitely wrote this. Because I channel data a little bit differently. Well, when my husband does so well, as he makes the everyday user read it and understand it instantly. And so we just, we really had to practice merging those two voices. And and so on top of doing the research, which took about a year to do then putting that together and merging the two voices, it was definitely almost as hard as having a shut ,
AJV (52:08):
It’s kinda like birthing a child of sorts. And I love the stories of anyone who has ever gone through the process of writing a book, you know, back like what we said. It’s like, nothing happens overnight.
AJV (52:21):
Neither does writing a book. Y’all it’s like, and I, we have so many people who enter into this very fortunate community. We’ve been able to help curate at brand builder’s group of going all right. My goal is the next 12 months is to write a book, get it published. And I’m like, we’re gonna need to adjust those goals. , it’s like, do you already have the book? Cause that’s about the only way we’re gonna have this done in the next 12 months. But one of the things that I love about this is, you know, you know, Roy and I, our next book is gonna be together. And so part of this is like as you know, and many of you who listen to the podcast, we’re quite different, by the way we communicate talk see things I’m very black and white, everything is black or white to me.
AJV (53:03):
And Rory is very gray, right? He’s like, well, that’s the best part of this and the worst part. And I’m like, Nope, she’s this or this . So it’s like, I think there’s a, a beautiful blending of how do you take the best parts of each person’s perspective and mold them into something that’s going to appeal to an even larger audience. And I love the way that you guys have been able to do, do that. And you know, we talk about research all the time. It is a constant theme ever since we did the research report on the national study for the trends and personal branding. I’m just such an advocate of like, that was what we said, we’re doing this, but our flag in the ground, that we are the first company doing what we’re doing and the way that we’re doing it. And we’re gonna do this study on personal brain because we believe it’s the future. We believe it’s the future of marketing, but it’s like to have data like that really sets you apart and thought leadership. And it’s like, you come from a really academic background. And for people who don’t come from that, it’s like, yeah, it’s like incorporating real data points really do attract a different type of clientele audience. That’s really powerful
DV (54:10):
Completely. And you have that backup to show you, Nope, this is what it said. And it’s statistically valid and we’ve done confidence in our roles and, and you can play up all the words and it’s, it’s valuable. And it also aligns with what you’re doing. It makes you feel like I’m doing this right. Or man, I need to know this. I actually have to change this, cuz I’ve been saying this and look, the population doesn’t agree with that. And so I think it’s very helpful to give people some kind of, one piece of mind and then two different strategies that maybe they just weren’t aware. And we all have our, you know, for lack of a better word, you know, box that we live in. And sometimes it becomes an echo chamber. So to look outside of that is, is, makes us grow. I mean, at the end of the day, that’s what it does.
AJV (54:59):
Yeah. You said something that just made me think about this is, you know I’m I’m, as you are. It’s like, I think feedback is one of the gifts that I didn’t always want. But I always need, and it’s like, I love getting feedback and input, and to me doing research was like another way of getting feedback. Yeah. It was, I can’t see what I can’t see. And sometimes I’m just, you know, the old saying I’m too close to the forest to see the trees. Yeah, exactly. Cause I need to get outta my own echo chamber. Right. Mm-hmm and I need to get a larger perspective, a larger scale of how does the pop population at large view this and then how do I take those data points to validate or unvalidated? Like, one of the things I loved about doing research is the amount of things that we’re like, oh, we had that really wrong.
AJV (55:44):
Like that was really good to go. You know, I think one of the big data points that came up to me, which I thought was so interesting to hear yours about gen Z was like mine about personal branding. Was that testimonials 62% of Americans say that testimonials is the number one most important factor when deciding whom to hire, not if you have a book or viral, Ted talk are large social media following none of those things, it was like at the very, very top of the list. And then 10 percentage points down was the next one, but 62%. Where do you have testimonials of other people validating that you are, who you say you are and you do what you say you’re gonna do. And for us, and the way that companies and people spend marketing dollars, I’m like, oh my gosh, this is the cheapest, fastest, easiest thing that you can do. It’s like you take that or it’s like, get on national media, create a viral Ted talk, get a New York times bestselling book. And I’m like, oh my gosh, like we’ve been, we’ve been putting all of our time energy resources into potentially the wrong avenue. It’s not that we shouldn’t do the other things, but it’s like, where should the majority of our intent go? It was so, so helpful.
DV (56:55):
And if you’re a gen Z, you’re gonna look at least 10 of ’em before you make a decision. I mean, you know, so there is some even way the different generations look at reviews who you’re trying to hit will give you some idea of what do these need to look like, or how many should I have up there, et cetera. Which I think is, is really helpful when you’re looking at your own personal brand or your company or anything, really people, people search those number one thing. And I, you know, I will say that we had so much fun working on your report. I just, I love working with friends because it gets me even closer into the mindset of what you do and what you and Rory do. And it was really neat working on that project.
AJV (57:39):
I agreed. I think you guys are brilliant in so many things I love this. I could continue this conversation on and on and on. And I know that we are way past our time that I love talking to you. I love, and I, I love what I’ve love most about this conversation is truly learning how you became who you are. That is gonna be my new question. So I’m transitioning out of how do you hours during the week of how did you become who you are and for everyone listening, it’s like, if you don’t get anything other than the importance of helping people get to know you, not what you do. That is my big takeaway from this conversation. That’s the heart of creating authentic leadership and being an entrepreneur that people actually wanna follow. Denise, thank you so much for being on the show.
DV (58:28):
Aw, thank you, AJ. It was a pleasure. Thank you for having me really appreciate talking into doing it.
AJV (58:34):
Oh, this was so awesome. I love it. And for everyone listening make sure you stay tuned for the recap episode and we’ll catch you next time on the influential personal brand. See y’all.

Ep 322: High-Performance Secrets of NBA Superstars with Alan Stein Jr.

RV (00:02):
Well, it’s not every day that you get a chance to talk to somebody who worked closely for years and years and years with people like Kobe Bryant and Steph Curry and Kevin Duran and our guest today, Alan Stein Jr. Did exactly that. So for 15 years he worked as a, basically a, a high performance skills and mental training coach for NBA superstars and athletes. And in the last few years, he’s transitioned over into speaking and writing. He’s got a couple books out. His first book has done very, very well. It’s called raise your game, high performance secrets from the best of the best. And then he has a new book out called sustain your game. And I just saw him in person recently at the event that we had for ed my let’s book launch in North Carolina, and we sort of connected there. And then he was on ed my let’s podcast a couple weeks before I was. And anyways, I just, I really love Alan and what he’s about and the people he’s hanging out with and, and what he’s doing. And I just was sort of curious, like, man, I, I wanna know what’s going on behind the scenes with some of NBA superstars and to see if I can get a little free coaching for myself. So welcome to the stage a Stein Jr. What’s up, man.
ASJ (01:18):
Aw, man. It’s so great to be with you. I’m looking forward to a fun conversation and I’ll give you all the coaching you want my friend
RV (01:23):
well, it’s cool because you, so you did that, but then I noticed that like, so obviously I know you’re a speaker for Michelle Joyce. We’ve got, you know, some really good we’ve, we’ve got at least three really good friends that work with her and we love her and, and they’re, you know, like their team and what they’re all the, the speakers that she works with are our first class. So then, so you transitioned into doing these kind of programs for American express and under armor and Pepsi Starbucks and Charles swaps. So you like really have moved into the more of the corporate space, but like first of all, tell me about your name. What’s the junior cuz we were, we were talking before and you’re like, yeah, there’s a story behind Alan Stein Jr.
ASJ (02:06):
Well, you know, I’ve never gone by or embraced the junior part of my name. And, and throughout my basketball training career, it was always just Alan Stein. And when I decided to make the distinct pivot outside of, you know, to leave the direct training space of basketball and inter corporate speaking when I went to get my website domain and social handles Alan Stein was taken so I, I wanted to try and figure out a way to keep that branding consistent. But I also wanted to find a way from a searchable and SEO standpoint to kind of differentiate my two professional lives. So if you, you Google Alan Stein, you’re probably gonna find a lot of stuff from my basketball days and training. But when I add the junior, now it’s a very distinct difference and that’s kind of the corporate keynote speaking. And in writing that I do, and it’s allowed me to have alanine jr.com and at alanine Jr. On all social platforms. So smart, there’s kind kind of a branding play and just a, a separator for sure.
RV (03:03):
Yeah. I love that. I mean, that’s really smart to have that consistency, like man, it’s so it’s so tricky when you’re like, how do I tag this person on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and it’s all different every time. Like I actually have some issues with that myself because when we sold our company, some of my profiles were caught up in that transaction. So, but anyways, so I wanna, I wanna talk to you about what you talk about and what a lot of people ask you about, which is like, what is it, what do you learn? What have you learned from coaching? I mean, you’re not just coaching professional athletes, you’re coaching or coached some of the most legendary players in the history of the game. I mean, Steph Curry, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, like these are, these are at the, the absolute peak of the peak of the peak of the peak performance in one of the most competitive games in the world. So I’m curious, you know, for both myself and for the person listening, how do, what can we take from the, the mindset it takes to operate at that level?
ASJ (04:09):
Three things jump out immediately. And, and my favorite part of these three things is they have such high utility. You know, they, they apply to every area of our lives. I mean, these three things allow me to be a better speaker and run a better speaking business. But they also allow me to be a better father. And I’ve, I’ve always been fascinated by principles and strategies that have that type of utility. The very first one is, is something that I learned from Kobe Bryant that changed my life forever when he said the best, never get bored with the basics and that if you want to be good at anything, you have to work towards mastery of the fundamentals relentlessly during the unseen hours. And you know, the very first thing I do with anyone that I work with is get them to identify what are the basic building blocks required to be good in this specific area of your life. You know, if, if you want to thriving in healthy marriage, what are the basics of having a thriving and healthy marriage? If you wanna run an elite speaking business, what are the fundamentals required of doing that? So getting clarity, and I know that’s what you all are all about getting clarity on the basics and the fundamentals, and then having the, the humility to stick to them on a daily basis was definitely the first lesson. The
RV (05:20):
Second was, let me hold on. I wanna stop there cuz I wanna dig in on, on, on, on this, like there’s, this is so true for us because Alan, you know, people come to us and they go, oh, I wanna become a New York times bestselling author. Like, so and so, or I wanna have a podcast like Lewis Houser, I wanna speak on stages. I wanna have, you know, have millions of people watch my videos like Eric Thomas. And then it’s like, okay. And we go, great. We’ve broken it down step by step systematically. There’s there is no question about if we can teach people to do all of those things, we are a hundred percent sure that it works, cuz we’re doing it ourselves in addition to like doing with, with other people, but nobody wants to do it. And it’s the same thing. Like when, when you think of you know, like you think of Kobe Bryant, you think of the game winning shot, you think of these epic highlight real dunks. Tell us, like, tell me a little bit about him in real life. Like to this point of never being bored with the basics and to the fundamentals, even when he was at his peak, was he doing that or did, was that just sort of like something he did to get to the NBA or like how long was that a part of what his philosophy was?
ASJ (06:29):
Such an insightful question and I’m glad you went in that direction. You know, continuing to work on and work towards mastery of the basics, remained a fundamental component throughout his entire career. And then he took that same mindset, you know, when, when he left basketball and re and retired and he had that same mindset in business. Now what’s important to, to have discernment is I’m not saying that he never graduated to more advanced techniques and more advanced skills and drills. He obviously did what I’m saying is he never left the basics behind. He realized that those were the foundation to which the rest of the house was built. So the very first time I had a chance to watch him work out in one of his private workouts. Back in 2007, he spent the first 45 minutes doing basic footwork, basic shooting mechanics, basic ball handling drills.
ASJ (07:18):
I mean to the tune of stuff that I had already taught those things to middle school, age players. And here you’re talking about, you know, arguably the best player of a generation, certainly the best player in 2007. And yet he still made the commitment to focusing on those fundamentals for the first portion of his workout. And then of course, again, he would matriculate up and graduate to more advanced techniques, but he would never leave them. And, and as I’ve been a part of and, or studied other thriving organizations, especially in sports, you know, a, a duke basketball or a new England Patriots back in their heyday, you know, it was the same thing. You know, their practices and their workouts were built on the fundamentals of the game. They never left those that wasn’t something they said, well, we’re gonna do these things until we get good and then we’ll just leave them behind.
ASJ (08:06):
They made sure those were a staple of everything they did moving forward. And, and I know in my own life, you know, anytime I don’t believe I’m getting the results that I, I think I’m capable of when I, I sit with some self-reflection and some introspection, I usually realize that I’ve, I’ve started to skip the basics. I’ve started to, to kind of, you know, move on to more advanced techniques and leave them behind. And as soon as I refocus that lens and get that required clarity and get back to the fundamentals, I see my performance escalate again. So it’s, it’s not about never moving past them is just about never leaving them behind
RV (08:42):
Mm-Hmm and, and some of these, like how, what is the average NBA workout, like on a non, like say a non-game day? Like, you know what you’re talking about with Kobe Bryant? Like how much are they working out in a, a day?
ASJ (08:56):
Well, this is another part that kind of a part two to the story of when I saw him work out, that I thought was so cool was he had cuz the workout that I watched him do was really, really, really early in the morning. I mean at 3:30 AM type of work to some people that’s almost late cuz they’re considering it from the day before, but that was his first workout of the day. And, and he said to me at that time, cuz I asked him why he chose to get up that early. And he said even the most dedicated and determined NBA players in the off season, cuz this was an off season workout. He said the most D driven and ambitious NBA players will work out twice a day. They’ll work out for two to three hours mid-morning then they’ll take a little break and they’ll work out for two to three hours midafternoon and he said, if I only do what everybody else does, then I’ll only have what everyone else has.
ASJ (09:43):
I need to do more than they do. And this, this really parlays into, you know, ed my let’s concept of the power of one more. So Kobe said, if I can go in and get my first workout before they’re even awake and I’m leaving the gym from my first workout, as they’re coming to the gym for their first workout and then they’re coming home from their first workout and I’m heading in for my second workout, he said, I’ll always be a step ahead. And, and that might not matter over a couple of weeks or maybe a couple of months, but when you start to stack years and in his case decades, he said, no one will ever be able to catch me simply because I’m always doing one more than they are. And that was really kind of the, the cornerstone of his Mamba mentality.
ASJ (10:24):
And, and with that said, and I always make this disclaimer and I especially make it with younger players when I would work in that space. I don’t want everyone to think that the answer is always more as better. And that, you know, you know, if, if, if you’re working 12 hour days that working 16 hour days does not necessarily mean that that will improve your business. I mean, there’s, there’s a variety of, of different individual scenarios, but I just liked his mindset and his mindset was my edge is going to be my work ethic, my, my obsession towards mastering the fundamentals. And I’m always gonna do a little bit more than you’re going to do and you’ll never beat me. And I, I think that’s an incredible mindset to have.
RV (11:03):
Yeah. Well, I mean, I have to say like, you know, there’s a lot of this, like anti hu, like, you know, everyone was like, oh, the hustle culture. And then there’s like been this pendulum of like, oh, anti hustle. You don’t have to hustle. And you know, I’m not saying that you have to work your whole life. Like that’s all you do to be successful. But when I just look at the reality of the stories of the people who have become the elite in their profession, the volume of time spent matters tremendously. Like, and, and you know, I think, I think a lot of people would look at Kobe Bryant and go, oh, he is gifted. Right. Cause he was drafted straight outta the out of high school. Right. And go, oh yeah, totally gifted. Like just like wonder kin like the, the chosen one.
RV (11:49):
But then to hear this story of going that happened for decades and so people, they couldn’t catch him. And so it, it’s a different side of the story and it go, I’m not advocating for all we do is work, but I am, I, I can’t argue with the facts of the matter, which is that no, nobody gets to be at that level by just doing it. Part-Time like nobody. So that’s, that’s power, that’s powerful. And you’d say the same is true for Steph Curry, Kevin Durant, all the other teams in organizations you’re working with.
ASJ (12:23):
Absolutely. What, what most novice fans don’t see is that, that peak behind the curtain of the unseen hours, which I’ve been privy to. And you know, obviously this is during the NBA off season when we’re recording this, but let’s just say it was in the heart of the season. And, and Steph has one of his magical games where he knocks down 12 threes and scores, 60 points and people are mesmerized by that. And, and I certainly get that. It’s an incredible feat, but if they knew how much work he put in during the unseen hours and how many millions of shots he’s taken and Macon in empty gyms, when no one else is around, it actually becomes less spectacular. And I say that with a smile, cuz I’m not diminishing that type of feet, but when you shoot that many shots in an empty gym, when no one’s around, you’re supposed to make those shots.
ASJ (13:09):
When the lights come on and the cheerleaders start dancing and that’s how those guys look at it, you know, they’re never surprised by their unbelievable performances. It’s an expectation for them, but that’s because they’ve put in the work to deserve the right to, to perform that well. And that actually leads to the, the second lesson that I learned from those guys is they do a masterful job of blending confidence, which is what they earn through time in the unseen hours. They blend that with humility, which is what allows them to stay open to, to feedback is what allows them to stay open to being coached is what allows them to say, you know, you all might say I’m the best player in the NBA, but I’m not as good as I’m capable of becoming. So I’m gonna get back in the gym. You know, I mean, when, when I watched Kobe go through that workout, he was already an NBA champion already, an Allstar already, a multimillionaire, you know, 20 times over, already a surefire first ballot hall of Famer.
ASJ (14:04):
And he’s in the gym at three 30 in the morning working on his craft because he doesn’t believe he’s as good as he’s capable of. And when you can blend that type of confidence with humility, you get something really magical. And, and that’s something else that I’ve, I’ve tried to apply in my own life. I mean, I, I’m not anywhere on a performance level of a Kobe Bryant, but I wanna make sure that I am earning the right to hold someone’s attention when I’m on stage speaking, but I wanna stay open to being coached and, and to growing and, and developing and working on my craft. I mean, I, you know, my next speaking engagement, I aim to make the best one that I’ve ever done. But I also know that 10 years from now, if you have me back on your show, I will be a better speaker, 10 years from now than I am today because of my commitment to craft. And that’s, what’s most important to me.
RV (14:53):
Yeah. Yeah. I, we, we bumped up against this a lot because we have a fair number of like quasi celebrity or celebrity clients that we work with at brand builders group. And, you know, it’s, it’s a little bit amazing to be like, wow, we’re coaching, we’re coaching. We’re punching above our, our weight class here because like some of these people are, I mean, they’re real good and they’ve have, they’ve gotten, you know, had real success in real reach, but then, you know, so there’s like this initial part where you think, oh, that doesn’t make sense. Like why would somebody who’s the best in the world take coaching from somebody who has never even experienced that level personally. And it’s like, no, the reason they’re, they are the best in the world is because they take coaching from, from, from those people. Meanwhile, the people who you who need coaching are the ones who have no idea what they’re doing and they’re not good and they’re not starting and they’re set they’re, they’re not doing it cuz they think they’re above coaching and it’s, it’s not the weak or the, or the untalented or the UN gifted who get coaching.
RV (16:03):
Its the opposite. It’s the, it’s the, the elite highest performers on the, on the planet. And I think that’s amazing. So you talk about earning your confidence. So I like what you were saying there. So you’re so talk to talk to me a little bit more about that. You’re saying that they’re earning it through what they do in the, basically the unseen hours.
ASJ (16:26):
Yeah. They, they understand intimately that repetition is not punishment. Like that’s one of the lessons I teach my own children. Repetition is not punishment. Repetition is the oldest and most effective form of learning and skill acquisition on the planet. And that is never going to change. Even technology won’t change that you have to get in reps if you want to be good at anything. And, and they understand that and they’re willing to put in those reps to an unbelievable degree and you know, the reason Stephan Curry will go down in history as the greatest shooter the game has ever seen is not because he did a bunch of reps to get good. And now he just coast, he’s still in the gym working on his craft. He is still putting up shots, you know on off days and in the off season. Cuz that’s the repetition is what’s what’s required. And certainly it’s true in the speaking game. I mean the, how
RV (17:15):
Do you more reps
ASJ (17:17):
Get on stage the better you’ll be.
RV (17:18):
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. There’s, there’s no replacement for stage time and for sure. So when you, a lot of people listening are, you know, some type of a coach or a consultant or a leader, you know, kind of this experience like I’m presuming that you’re not, you, you’re not gonna be in the hall of fame, the NBA hall of fame as a player yourself. And so I think there’s a lot of people who end up sort of coaching above their weight class. Like I was talking about. Did, did you ever have insecurities or self doubt yourself? I mean standing on the court with these guys saying, Hey, do it this way. Not that way. Did you ever experience any of that? Like, well, who am I to tell, you know, Kevin Duran, like how to, how to whatever block somebody out or block a shot and how did you get past that?
ASJ (18:09):
Well, I, I got past it. One, by being honest, I mean I wasn’t trying to BS anybody. Those guys knew they were better players than I had ever dreamed of becoming, but they also knew that doesn’t exclude me from having certain expertise or experience that can still add value to what it is that they do. You know, a good portion of coaching comes from that, that intellectual knowledge from certain experiences from having a different vantage point from having different perspectives from shared experiences that you’ve had from other players. So I had to lean into that and say, yes, I realize that you are a better player than I ever. Would’ve been. However, I can still add to your game. You know, I can still give you things that will make you a better player. And with guys like that, you have to prove that very quickly, you know, the, the quickest way to get an elite level player to tune you out is the moment they don’t think you can make them better.
ASJ (19:04):
You know, I think that’s one of the reasons that coach Kay was so successful with, with the Olympic teams was because those guys, and then you’re talking about Kobe, LeBron, Steph Curry, KD, those guys knew that he still had something that could make them better. So they didn’t discount the fact that he was a college coach and they were pros. They realized that he could still make them better based on his experience and expertise. So to me that’s the most important part. I mean, if you look at, and, and I certainly wouldn’t want to go on a tangent of who’s the greatest player of all time, I’m, I’m still kind of in the Michael Jordan camp. And a lot of that is just based on my own age, but Michael Jordan is arguably the best player to ever play the game. So from that previous logic, he could never have a coach because no one is going to be better than him.
ASJ (19:51):
Right. Well, how foolish does that sound? Even me saying it out loud, you know, Phil Jackson was never as good of a player as Michael Jordan, but you better believe Phil Phil Jackson had a, a perspective and a philosophy and experience and expertise that he could use to help mentor and, and groom Michael Jordan to become the player he was. And, and, and I think all of those guys will acknowledge that. So to answer your question, yes, there were certainly moments of kind of that imposter syndrome. Oh my gosh, are they gonna listen to me? But I had to quickly move right through that, lean in with honesty and vulnerability and show them and prove to them that I have something that can make you better.
RV (20:29):
I love that. Okay, so you left us, hang in here, you got three, you covered to cover two of them. So I wanna, I wanna make sure that we have time to get into the third one.
ASJ (20:39):
The, the third is those guys were certainly driven by external results. They wanted to make Allstar teams. They wanted to win NBA championship rings. They wanted to win scoring titles. And, and those were often north stars that, that provided clarity and direction for where they were headed. But after that, they didn’t spend any time focused on results. They put all of their effort into the process. They put all of their effort into what are the habits I need to establish? What are the micro skills I need to develop? What are the behaviors that I need to exude on a, on a daily basis that will get me closer to that north star or that goal? So it wasn’t so much, you know, I want a championship ring as much as it was, what do I need to do today to give myself and my teammates the best opportunity to be a champion next season.
ASJ (21:27):
And they were very, very process driven. And when you can combine, you know, the, the humility and vulnerability, it takes to stick to the basics when you can earn your confidence in the unseen hours, but stay open to coaching and feedback, and you can stay focused on the steps and the processes and the habits you combine, those three things together. There’s really nothing that can stop you. And, and, and there’s no one arguing that the guys that, that we’ve been talking about were born with some physical predispositions that allowed them to be world class athletes. Sure. I mean, they’ll tell you, they were born with certain levels of athleticism, but so are a lot of people and they didn’t actualize it. And then of course, going back to what I said originally about these things, having high utility in the space that you and I play in, it doesn’t matter if you’re five feet tall or seven feet tall.
ASJ (22:13):
It doesn’t matter if you have a four inch vertical jump or a 40 inch vertical jump, the physicality is no longer relevant. So now these things actually are the separators and the difference makers in business or in entrepreneurship or in any of the, the playgrounds that we play in. So these are all things that are under our control, which goes back to your brilliant point, that you can lay out the blueprint of exactly what someone needs to do to reach a certain level of success. And it’s been proven, you guys have proven it with hundreds and hundreds of elite level clients. Problem is people just don’t stick to the script. They don’t execute the blueprint, they get bored with the basics, and then they try to do things their way, if they will follow your recipe, they will get unbelievable results.
RV (22:55):
Yeah, it’s funny. Like you know, I played basketball in high school was my whole big, you know, consuming focus. But when I, when I got to college, the, the way I was able to let go of the dream or what helped me let go of the dream was R realizing that I was competing. I know in, on something that I couldn’t control, which was the physicality part. And so I was like, well, if I’m always gonna be under massively under resourced in this area, I’m gonna quickly shift my attention into something where that is not a part of the game. And you know, that it actually was a pretty quick flip of the switch where it was like, it went from being my whole life to, I pretty much dropped it. You know, just because it was like, oh, I, this is I’m gonna go.
RV (23:46):
I’m gonna go basically find another game to, to play and to, to compete in, which is, which is really cool. So I mean, this is awesome, Alan. I, I, I think it’s, it’s, it’s amazing to me how, how consistent this story is. And, and people don’t necessarily want it to be that way and they try to rationalize it and popular culture tries to change it, but it’s like, this is the deal. And it’s super duper powerful to, to get to see it. So where do, where should we send people? All right. So we have, so your, your, your, you had raise your game, which was the first book, and then sustain your game, just came out. Where, where do you want people to go? If they wanna connect more with you and like, keep up with what you’re doing.
ASJ (24:31):
My primary speaking website is Alan Stein jr.com. And then I have a second,
RV (24:35):
Don’t forget the junior, don’t forget the junior
ASJ (24:38):
Don’t don’t ever forget that. And, and it’s a quick side note to that. Not implying that you ever would, but if you ever meet my father, he’ll tell you the biggest dad, joke of all time. He’ll say I’m Alan steins. I’m the original, he’s the carbon copy. he thinks that’s funny every single time. So I,
RV (24:53):
I think that’s funny.
ASJ (24:54):
Yeah, that’s good stuff. So Alan Stein jr.com is the speaking site, stronger team.com has info on my books podcast and online course, and some one-on-one coaching. And then I’m very easily found and very accessible and resp responsive on social media at Allen Stein Jr. On Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. And then of course you can just search for the books on Amazon or audible or wherever you like to get your books or audio books.
RV (25:18):
I love it, man. Well, what a, what a cool glimpse into what it takes, and then to see you applying it in your own life, in your own business, what you’re doing now as a speaker is really, really cool. Like you can, you can see the, the trajectory of your career just shaping up nicely in terms of like your ability to apply this to other people and to companies and organizations to build stronger teams. It’s really, really inspiring brother. And you know, I’m very encouraged by that and inspired by you. So, so stay the course. We’re cheering for you.
ASJ (25:51):
Thank you.

Ep 320: 4 Ways To Increase Your Content Engagement with Nora Sudduth

RV (00:07):
Hey brand builder, Rory Vaden here. Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this interview as always, it’s our honor to provide it to you for free and wanted to let you know there’s no big sales pitch or anything coming at the end. However, if you are someone who is looking to build and monetize your personal brand, we would love to talk to you and get to know you a little bit and hear about some of your dreams and visions and share with you a little bit about what we’re up to to see if we might be a fit. So if you’re interested in a free strategy call with someone from our team, we would love to hear from you. You can do that at brand builders, group.com/pod call brand builders, group.com/pod call. We hope to talk to you soon.
AJV (00:54):
Hey everyone. And welcome to another episode on the influential personal brand. I’m super excited today because I get to interview a newer friend. And as you guys know, if you guys listen to the podcast, you know, that we do not accept pitches very often. In fact, we have only accepted three pitches in the history of the influential personal brand and Nora happens to be one of those individuals. So I’m gonna introduce you to Nora and today is really special for three reasons. One, I’m getting to know Nora kind of at the same time that you are. So all of the questions I’m gonna be asking are super out of my own curiosity of going. Tell me more, tell me more. I wanna learn Nora about this. But two Nora is the creator and co-founder of this really amazing product called hello audio.
AJV (01:43):
And it’s all about consumption rates and engagement with audio, which if you’re listening to this, you are already in the mix, right? So this is really, really important. And really what we’re gonna answer is why are you not getting the consumption and engagement rates that you want and you need with audio. And then thirdly Nora self admitted that she doesn’t get to talk much about her personal brand. And so this is also a really cool invitation of not just getting to learn about some really cool things with content consumption and engagement and her awesome company. But I’m also generally just so excited to get to know you and how, why did you create this? And what’s your backstory. I love hearing stories like this. So if you’re listening stick around, this is going to be an energy and content impact episode.
AJV (02:34):
Now on a, a very high professional level, I will read Nora’s bio for you. But just really quickly . So Nora said is the co-founder of hello audio, which is a leading marketing and conversion strategist who has helped businesses sell over 500 million of products and services online. I also think what is super special in addition to all of the strategy and types of clients that she’s worked with. These are fortune 50, these are multimillionaire individuals. She’s got a SAS product, she’s got so many cool things going on, but one of the things that I loved learning most is that she left corporate. She had a very cushy high paying job in corporate and decided to leave that to do something that who knows where it would go, who knows if anyone would buy it. But you took that really big leap that often holds others back. And so with that, welcome to the show, Nora.
NS (03:34):
Oh my goodness. Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to be here.
AJV (03:38):
Hi, I am so excited. And so I wanna continue that conversation. I wanna help, I wanna get to know you more in our brief conversations, I, haven’t got to hear this part of your story. And I know our audience is many people who listen to this are in this transition of, you know, do I keep doing what I’m doing or do I really go for it? Right. Do I really like go out on that limb, jump off the cliff and do what I feel like I was put on this planet to do, or do I stay comfortable? Right. Do I play it safe? And I just keep doing the thing that I’m doing, but you, you took the leap, like you left it and you started hello audio. So I wanna know the story. How did, how did you do it? Why did you do it? Like, how did you get to where you are?
NS (04:18):
Oh, I love it. So I did, I took that traditional path to success or what we were taught right. Is that traditional path. I have a handful of college degrees, right. I started in computer science before there were many women in computer science. So I’ve got that degree. I’ve got an MBA, I’ve got a master’s degree in engineering. And I did, I, I started that, that corporate kind of path, that corporate climb and what I realized, and I didn’t, I’m not one of those folks that hated corporate. I had great experiences. I learned just, I’ve worked with so many different businesses, even, you know, exact target before they sold to Salesforce before they had a successful exit. I’ve worked with so many amazing humans along the way. And so, as I climbed, I would say up that ladder, I think I got further away from what one of my core values is.
NS (05:08):
And I am obsessed with client success. Mm-Hmm , I mean, it is, it is one of my core tenants and, and something is as I, as you climb that corporate ladder, and this is in many corporations, especially if you work for large corporations, you tend, as you climb, you get further away from the end user or that, that end customer. And I think I just started to feel like things were a little flat, right. And, and not that I was miserable and, you know, needed to escape. I mean, I, I think I was doing quite well. Obviously the salary was there, you know, had a, had a great salary and all the things. And yet I just felt like something was missing. And, and as I was going through my personal life at this time I’m actually adopted. And so for me, family is, is everything.
NS (05:53):
Cause I almost didn’t have a family. Right. I almost didn’t have that. And so at, at the time my dad was diagnosed with cancer and I knew that our time was limited and after he passed away, it’s just like, you know, we all have those moments in our lives where we have that realization of, you know, life is short and am I doing what I really want to do? Is this an opportunity for me to reassess some of those decisions? And, and to, like you said, stay comfortable, which there was there would’ve been nothing wrong if I would’ve stayed, you know, in that trajectory and kept going or do I want something else? And so I think that was one pivot point for that kind of help me wake up if you will. And maybe jarred me a little bit to rethink things. And the other thing that was happening was at that point when my dad passed away, I had a little kindergartner.
NS (06:40):
My oldest was in kindergarten. She is now in high school and getting her license, which is crazy. So time has definitely jumped here and I’ve been doing this for a while, but at the time she just, she was obsessed with the school bus. I wanna take the school bus home and I’m like, I am at the office until six o’clock like, you can’t take the school bus home. No one is home at 2 35 when that school bus is coming home. And so she just was like, I wanna take the school bus home. And I’ll tell you, I was sitting in a corporate meeting and there was a lot of meetings in corporate. And so I think this was one of, of many, and I just felt frustrated. I was feeling that sense of not being happy. And, and I, you know, some women collect shoes and handbags, I collect domain names. So I probably have like 600 over 600 domain names the time
AJV (07:28):
My husband, oh my gosh,
NS (07:30):
Can’t help it.
AJV (07:31):
The amount of go daddy, renewal fees that he’s come across my, my credit card.
NS (07:35):
You don’t wanna total. And when you total it up for your taxes, you’re like, oh my gosh, I need to sell. So, and I have sold some, I made some, but still, yes, it’s not. I don’t know if it’s any healthier than a shoe obsession. Quite frankly, it mights probably a lot more expensive. But as I said in that meeting and I bought the domain F the meeting.com, I still own that domain, but I was like, wow, what that, and, and as I look back, I’m like what energy that is, like, if that’s where I really was in life. And I knew it was a lot of things happening. So I left that day and I allowed my daughter to take the bus home. And so as she took, and I met her at the corner and the bus came and her, the joy that she was filled with as she came off, that school bus, granted, even a kindergartner, she was so excited. And I thought, you know what? I want more of that.
AJV (08:24):
Yeah.
NS (08:24):
Amen. I want more of that. And so I started putting things in place to plan that exit. And, and, and I’ll say this for anyone that is in that situation. Well, I think one of the biggest mistakes, or one of the biggest things we’re told when we look for a business opportunity, right? There’s a lot of folks that wanna sell you a Bizo right. There’s lots of different types, lots of different things, but where I think I had the most success in terms of that transition and that exit was, I started with my existing reach. I didn’t just build a product or create a service and then wonder how to get in front of people. Because I think that stops a lot of folks. I think one of the biggest things I did correctly was I started with my existing reach. I didn’t just say, okay, there’s this internet out there, this black box who the heck knows who’s in it, but they’re my clients.
NS (09:14):
I don’t know them yet, but they’re clearly who I need. And instead of doing that, I was like, no, who are the people already around me? Who are the people that already, that already know me that already trust me? And you know what that looks like. We, we forget our real life connections. And I know things have changed pre you know, post pandemic and all the things. But I, I looked at, okay, I was going through my TaeKwonDo. I went and got my first degree, black belt and TaeKwonDo with my daughter. I’m like the studio, all the people there, they’re in my network. Think about your professional network. Think about your personal network. Think about the stores you go to each and every day, the clubs that you’re a part of the memberships that you’re a part of. We don’t, we overlook all of these people that are in our existing.
NS (09:59):
And we’re like, oh, I don’t, I don’t have an audience. I didn’t have an email list. When I started, I had existing reach in every single person listening to this, you have your existing reach. And so I started there and I was like, you know what, I’m looking at, what I can do for people and the results, cuz I’m a very, like I said, I’m obsessed with client results. So what can I do for folks knowing my expertise, knowing my experience. And then I looked at my existing reach and I looked at what, where, where that intersection was now. I didn’t worry about like, well, what if I don’t wanna serve this audience five years from now? Mm-Hmm right. That wasn’t like, you might not. And that’s okay. But that doesn’t need to prevent you from taking the steps forward from taking it step by step by step and looking at your existing reach and saying, how can I serve these people?
NS (10:47):
And that’s how I started. So that was how I ultimately got to the point where yes, I was doing the side hustle in the evenings and on the weekends and before work. Right. Everyone’s like, yeah, you have a nine to five. Well, I didn’t have a nine to five. I felt like I had a seven to six. And then I was, you know, doing things after the kids went to bed or in the morning before they woke up or on the weekends when they went down for naps or all the things, cuz I had a, I had a younger one as well at that time. So I had two and I, I looked at that and I said, that’s the, that’s the path. It’s just step by step. But I think one of the biggest takeaways for me there is start with your existing reach and that’s ultimately so step by step by step. I put those things in place and I was ultimately able to leave that corporate position. And I created a marketing agency of my own and that was my first step into Andre. And I didn’t stay there, but that’s how I initially stepped from corporate into this entrepreneurial space.
AJV (11:42):
Oh, I love that there are so many gems and even the, your story of, you know, I already wrote down like two things and this is, we’re so aligned in this. And I know that we, we don’t know each other, all that well at this point, but I like one of my life mantras is that you do not have to have millions of followers to make millions of dollars. Yes. And we, we try to like instill this and it’s a great reminder to everyone who’s listening. Is that just start with the one? Yes. Like, and it’s, it’s a weird thing because offline, right. And our actual real circle of people we see every day, if we knew that we impacted one person’s life, that would be, we would be so fulfilled and content with that. It would mean something. But yet if we only have one like or one share or one comment online, we somehow think it’s a failure.
AJV (12:36):
Absolutely. It’s the online digital nature somehow often minimizes the impact of a changed life. And I love that. We talk so much about your offline reputation, your offline strategy, as much as your online. I love that. I love that so much. And I love too that you said it’s like the path is always step by step, right? It is. You may not be doing this in five years, like focus on what’s the next step. That’s true. So, so you went from marketing agency, so you left corporate yes. And had your own agency. So then I’m so curious to know is like, how did you go from that to hello audio? And then also tell everyone like, what is, hello, audio? So what was the path of creating a SAS product and how did you get to where you are now?
NS (13:23):
Absolutely. so I had that marketing agency and I grew that marketing agency agency in a multiple six figures in less than nine months. And it was at that point. And if you have, if you ever had a marketing agency or if you’re done done for you, you E you have a choice to make, you’re either gonna grow and you’re gonna hire more team members, or you’re gonna kind of stay in that niche kind of boutique kind of space. And, and it’s a choice and there’s not a right or wrong choice. It’s just a choice of what kind of business you want. And around that time where I was making a decision, I had started to use ClickFunnels in my agency because everything was WordPress. Right. And then click funnels was brand new at the time. And I mean, brand spanking new. And so I started using it, Russell found out what I was doing.
NS (14:03):
And all of a sudden I got a Voxer from Russell Brunson. And I, you, I mean, if I could’ve captured the look on my face, when I got that boxer from Russell Brunson and it was like, Hey, I think we need to talk. I would like you to rebuild my certification program. And so I was like, well, okay, right. Like this is, so here I am trying to make a decision if I’m gonna grow or grow this agency or kind of keep it small. And now I have a third option, which I never suspected, which was shut it down and go work and partner with Russell Brunson and rebuild one of his training programs. And so, you know, talk about what an amazing opportunity. So I’ve of course said, yes, partnered with Russell rebuilt. That certification program took that from like 300, about 300,000 a little bit more to like 4.1 million in 18 months built another seven figure coaching program for Russell.
NS (14:54):
And again, this is because I was so passionate about client success and SAS, right. I love technology. My first degree was in computer science. So this was a natural fit. And through that work and, and reviewing thousands of marketing campaigns and helping just so many people have success with their marketing campaigns. I ended up meeting Lindsay and Derek Padilla, who are the co-founders of, of hello audio. And, you know, I was actually, both of them are former community college professors who really also genuinely care about student success, right? It’s what they do. We all want our students to succeed. And so we had this shared value and as we had both started helping folks kind of with their online courses. And really, I was kind of maybe more focused on the marketing and sales piece of trying to help your digital products grow. And Lindsay was helping folks help be essentially become a better teacher online.
NS (15:49):
And so it was such an amazing partnership and, and a relationship that started there. And then it was Derek that kind of said, Hey, people don’t finish. Like the stats are there. They’re not finishing online courses. What can we do to help? And that’s how hello audio started. So it came from both of us, all three of us actually being so passionate about our, our students having success and knowing that consumption was getting in the way, which sounds silly. But depending on the study, you read, it can be like 3% or maybe I’ve seen a few that say up to 20% of courses get consumed or content is consumed. And people, when they don’t consume your content, they don’t get the results. And so that’s actually how hello audio started. The original product name was podcast, your course. And so as we look at, okay, what does that look like?
NS (16:38):
What are you talking about, Nora? Like, what’s this podcast thing isn’t like, right? Most people are familiar with public podcasts, right? If you’re listening to this, you already know this is an amazing public podcast. And so if you think about the way public podcasts are structured, most people are like, they assume you have to have a show it’s updated daily or weekly. And, and it’s open to the general public, right? As, as a public podcast, anyone can subscribe private podcasts. On the other hand are a little different. They look and feel like a normal pod pod, right? They still, you can play them in your favorite podcast app, your favorite podcast, player of choice. But as a, as the content owner, as the content creator, you get to choose who gets access to that. So now you could actually put some gated content, whether it’s your opt-in or whether it’s your course or other paid content.
NS (17:27):
Now it’s not kind of change a little bit about what it, what it means to be a podcaster. You can now have a podcast without having a show. You’re just using podcasts as a communication channel. And you’re meeting people where they’re already at. Cuz as we look at the numbers, millions of, of north Americans are listening to audio content in their podcast app each and every week to the point where the hours consumed are actually rivaling the number of hours that were consumed in Netflix every single week. Wow. So I’m thinking, why are we not meeting people where they’re already at? Your audience is already in their podcast apps, listening to content. Why aren’t they listening to you? And so that is how we originally started. Hello, audio. And then the use cases just grew from there.
AJV (18:13):
So, okay. There’s like, I could go like 15 different ways right now. I know, I know things. So one of the things you said is that consumption, right? The data around the consumption was like a real problem that is you guys could solve. So I would just love to hear your feedback rather. That’s just your own personal opinion. Or if it’s more scientific, whatever you’ve got. Why, why do, because I think, I think this is same ha it doesn’t matter if it’s a course or whatever. It’s like, we do the same thing with books. Like how many books they’re sitting on my bookshelf at a bot with great intentions, like, oh one day, right? Same thing with courses. And then there’s other books where I’m like, you know, I must finish this. Right. And so I’m so curious, like what is the data around consumption with courses and online content and why do you think that is?
NS (19:00):
You know, it’s fascinating as I look at it’s it, and it varies the percentage it’s fascinating to look at, is it just the login that we’re requiring people to log in? I look at the work involved and the effort involved, and this is kind of back to anything that we offer for sale. Right? I look at their belief, so that consumer needs to believe that by doing the work or by participating in their own success, they’re going to get a result. So that level of certainty needs to be a certain level. I think, for people to engage like it, whether it’s a book, I believe I’m going to enjoy this. So the level of certainty, I think the higher that is the more likely they are to engage. So a and by the way, they’re, they’re a lot more likely to buy your stuff.
NS (19:42):
if we can, if we can actually increase the, the likelihood that they’re gonna get the result or the perceived likelihood, right? The perceived level of certainty that they’re going to get the results. So that’s one thing I, I would say, and then I would say the other thing is ease in convenience, right? So, and there’s three things. So the second thing is ease in convenience. So, I mean, it’s not rocket science. If you make it easier for people to consume your stuff, they’re gonna be more likely to consume it. And so the cool part about using private podcasts is there protected right each. So if I give you an access to a private podcast, that link is actually tied to your specific email address. And as soon as you click that link and load it in whatever your favorite podcast app is, that link dies, which means you can’t share that with other people, which means that content stays protected.
NS (20:28):
And yet it’s so convenient for you to play at any time, anywhere when we’re not sitting here at the screen. So if you think about what audio does it unlocks all of the hours of the day that you can reach your ideal person or your customer or your student, whatever that looks like for you when they’re not sitting at a computer and I’ll tell you, especially post pandemic, people don’t really wanna spend that many hours sitting at the screen. And so you’re giving them that option. Let, ’em listen to you while they’re walking the dog, while they’re sitting in the carpool line while they’re taking a walk that’s to me, it, it like ease in convenience, allows for greater consumption. If you make it a lot more difficult. And that also is the medium too, right? If, if you’re doing like a 60 some page ebook or are like, that’s, that’s gonna go to the graveyard of PDFs, we all have one. We all know it’s there. I have multiple bad Dropbox and Google all these.
AJV (21:24):
And I’m like, oh, when am I gonna ever have time to get through 4 45
NS (21:28):
Pages? You’re no you’re. And, and with good intentions, you were interested in the topic. We all raise our hand and we’re like, that sounds cool, but you know what? That’s a lot of work. Yep. And I’m not gonna get to that. And so, and then, so that would be the second thing, easing convenience and, and dove dovetailing into the, the third and final one here I would say is time, right? What do we, time is money. We pay to shortcut our path to success. And so if I look at your content and I think this is gonna take me hours to get through, or, you know, if I can’t fit it in to the time pockets that I have in my day or in my life, that’s just gonna be really a lot more challenging for me to consume. And so if I look at for whatever content you’re putting out there, this is fulfillment content for your courses or your coaching program, or, you know, your book.
NS (22:17):
Or if I’m looking at your marketing content, I’m talking about your webinars, I’m talking about your summit presentations, all the cool stuff you’re doing in, when it comes to creating content, if I can make it easier and more convenient to consume, if I can shortcut the path to success and, and, and allow folks to get that, like reduce the time to, to value as, as another kind of term to reduce the time to value. And if I can increase the perceived likelihood that they’re going to get the result that, that, that we’re promising or that your content is promising, that level of certainty people are going, you’re gonna see engagement go up. Those three things I think are critical in order to see your engagement and consumption rates go up.
AJV (22:59):
Ugh. I love that. There’s so much like I wrote just like the, I wrote four. I, I made one up or I heard one extra one. I love
NS (23:07):
It. It’s okay. Bonus.
AJV (23:09):
But I love this. I think this is so powerful for anyone who is listening, who is a content creator of any, of any type, whether it’s written or video or audio, but four things to increase consumption one, make it enjoyable.
NS (23:23):
Yes. Right? Oh,
AJV (23:24):
Yes. It’s like, I’m not gonna do it if I don’t like it. If it, if it’s hard, right.
NS (23:29):
I don’t want it.
AJV (23:30):
I gotta want it. So make it enjoyable. And I think a huge part of doing that is the combination of the story, right? The emotional parts. It’s like, it’s, I think about some of the, my favorite and this, I always think about this. Some of my favorite books are also my least favorite keynote speeches.
NS (23:50):
Yes.
AJV (23:50):
And true. Right. The content is so good and the stories are so good in the book, but then when you hear the speaker, I’m like,
NS (23:58):
What happened?
AJV (24:01):
You know? And it’s like, yeah. And it’s like, it’s weird because it like dolls the value and all of a sudden this great content I’m like, all I can think about is how horrible about 60 or 90 minutes was. Yeah. So it’s like, make it enjoyable. It’s gotta be somewhat right. Edutaining right. The combination of that,
NS (24:17):
To, to that point. Exactly. Most people think the only way they can add value is to give more information. And that’s not true. You can add value by being entertaining. And by being insightful, like there’s, it’s, you can do more, you can add value more ways than just more information.
AJV (24:33):
Absolutely agree with that. But I think that’s just, that’s a great takeaway. If you’re listening is like more information does not equal more value. No, that’s really important. Right. Write that down people number two. So the first thing was, make it enjoyable. Number two increase the likelihood of results. Yes. So tell people, what are the results you’re gonna get if you complete this, like, that’s really important. Like how many of us buy something going a hope, this has the answer.
NS (25:00):
Yeah. Let’s hopefully it’ll work. I
AJV (25:02):
Need you to, I need to know that it’s in there. Right. So increase the likelihood of results. I love that. Three, make it easy to use. I wanna come back to this one, cuz I have a question for you about this one. Sure. and then the last one is reduce time to value, right? Like I think we do the same thing where it’s like, well, I’m gonna make it eight hours and oh, 165 pages because then it’ll be worth the dollar.
NS (25:30):
No, right. No, it’s just not gonna get consumed. That’s what’s gonna happen.
AJV (25:36):
But it’s like, we do that all the time. It’s like these whole value ladders are built on and you get this and you get this and you get this. And it’s interesting because sometimes I’m going, what am I gonna do with all that? like, what am I gonna have time for this? Or what is this? Or then we buy it. And this is how I feel often. And it actually decreases the value cuz I only use one part of it. And I’m like, well, I paid for all of this and this is all that I used. And absolutely what a counterintuitive thing to be thinking of. Like no less is more, actually less is more. If you make it enjoyable, increase likelihood of results and you decrease time to value. I would spend twice as much money. Like if you were sell and this just, just for anyone who’s listening, if I’m in your target audience, right. If you were gonna sell me a course, here’s how you would sell it to me. Get everything you need to know in the next 60 minutes.
NS (26:30):
Yes. Amen.
AJV (26:31):
I would, I would pay five times the amount of money versus it’s like, this is a 16 hour course with and I’d be like,
NS (26:38):
No, thank you.
AJV (26:39):
I couldn’t pay enough money to do that.
NS (26:41):
Can I pay to have someone do that for me? Can, is there add an option?
AJV (26:46):
Can you just give me the cliff notes? Can you tell me what you learned in a 15 minute coffee?
NS (26:50):
That would be great. Where’s the summary.
AJV (26:53):
The cliff notes please. But I think those are like really important things of like, we get it wrong. We try to add and add and add and add. And really what that’s doing is it’s like when people get in there and they don’t use it, then they think they’ve wasted all this money. Yes. When really the core thing, if we would’ve just kept the main thing, the main thing we could have added even increased the price tag because it doesn’t, it’s not gonna take you that long to get there.
NS (27:18):
That’s right. Because time they value that time. They value that time. And, and to your point, you should know your primary currency. So I like to talk about like, what’s the big promise of your product or the thing, or even if it’s a free training video, you still have to sell that thing. It is still a free offer. What is the primary currency? It what, okay, doesn’t matter if people are sending you their email address and then you’re giving them back something in return or if they’re giving you cold, hard cash, doesn’t matter. There’s still a currency exchange happening here. And so what I like what, this is a great exercise. If you’re listening to this that I love doing this, put you have a column for increase and a column for decrease. And I want you to think about what is that thing, the training, the product, the course your workshop, your book, what are, what are all the ways it can increase something in their life or in their business and decrease.
NS (28:08):
And I want you to try to be as specific as possible. If you can put a timeline on that, cuz we just know time, time is, is key here. People pay for that shortcut to shortcut to success. So do you help them to X their revenue in six months? Do you help reduce or decrease churn in their companies in the next 90 days, whatever that is for your business. Try to think of it and articulate it in, in a, in a currency exchange. Because that way, if you look at and, and chances are, I’m sure all of the folks listening to this, you’re all amazing. You can do more than one thing for people. There’s probably you’re gonna do this exercise. You’re probably gonna have 20 different things that you can increase or decrease in someone’s life or business. The key is to understand what’s the primary one that they care the most about. What’s the one that they’re going to pay the most for. That’s how you’re gonna be able to monetize your expertise in a, in a very scientific kind of a way.
AJV (29:04):
Oh, that’s so good. And it’s like, that’s really a short list of answers. Really? Yes. I mean it’s like most people are gonna pay to get more time. Yeah. They’re gonna pay to make more money or they’re gonna pay to have more fulfillment.
NS (29:18):
Yes. Less stress,
AJV (29:20):
Less stress,
NS (29:21):
More ease. Right. You can go on and on. But if I love the idea of like, oh, they’re actually giving me something and I’m giving them something in return and the clear I can be about what it is and why it’s so valuable, the easier it is to be able to sell.
AJV (29:37):
That’s so good. Do you feel like that translate into copy as well?
NS (29:42):
It does. Oh my God. That is your, I mean, to me, that’s copywriting gold. I would say that exercise. And then the other exercise I always recommend for copywriting is you have to get into the mind of your consumer and write down all of the potential problems they think they could have. And all of the ways that you’re providing a solution for those problems, it’s like problem, solution, exercise. Even if you think it’s crazy. Like I don’t what, and there’s honestly, if you go through this, there’s gonna be some pretty common ones. I don’t have time. I, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t believe this is gonna work for me because I’m special or my business is special or I have this special circumstance. Like there’s very common ones that come up. But if you can be able to, you know, those going into your marketing and sales campaigns, then your copy addresses them directly. I think those two exercises, the currency exchange. And then I would say your prospect problem list and your solution list is gonna be the two biggest things you can do to improve your copy.
AJV (30:37):
Ah, so good. And keep it short, right? Yeah. Like that time to your novel emails. No, I had to write a text. This is so funny. I literally one of my newer friends who is helping me break into the sport sports world, her name is Ashley. And she’s like, I’m not really good at email. I’m traveling all the time. So just, can you text me all these things? And I’m like writing this text and I get down. I’m like, oh my gosh, I have just written the longest text ever made on planet earth. And I literally, I sent it and I said, and now I know you’ll never read this. So I’m going to have to send an email that is a third of this link. And it was like, like as I’m writing it, I’m so annoyed with my stuff. I’m like, oh my gosh, why am I still typing?
AJV (31:23):
Why is this so long? Why am just taking so much time? But it’s so true. It’s like, if I have to scroll, I just go, I’ll do it later. Yep. I have to do, it’s gotta stay above the fold. Right. I think those, those are so good. Okay. So I wanna come back to this really quick thing. I literally could probably spend another hour talking to you. This is such a great company. I love this Nora. So ease of use. How do you make it easier for people to use? So I wanna answer that. And then I’m so sensitive of the time. I also then wanna go out, like, I want people to understand like, what is hello, audio, and really dive into this concept of a private podcast. Because at least to me that’s a really newer term. Right. And this gated content, but like how does this help? So, okay. So first ease of use and then let’s talk about private podcast.
NS (32:08):
Yes. Ease of use. So one of, I will say, even from a hello audio perspective is we were building this tool yet. Yes. It’s important in SAS, but I would argue it’s important in anything that people buy, but SAS specifically, why do people not buy software? Because they have a perception that it’s going to be a pain in the butt. They have a perception that it’s going to take them a long time to incorporate it into their business.
AJV (32:31):
A lot of money
NS (32:32):
And yeah, it, it is. Yeah. And depending on where you’re coming from a lot of buddy but it’s, it’s really the, the ability to kind of speed up that time to value, reduce the time to value speed up that success path because you’re making it easy for them to do. And so what other doesn’t matter, that’s why we see for example, authors, when there’s like the PDF version of your audio book or the, the book, and then you have the audio book tend to, if we look at comparisons, a lot of times your conversions on the audio book will be higher because it’s easier to consume. Right? Right. So if we look at your course, is it, are you making it easy to get through meaning are lessons maybe two hours long or are you chunking them up with very specific kind of headlines or very specific targeted engagements if you’re a coach and you do coaching calls, are you putting those replays in a locked membership site where you’re not providing time stamps or, or how can you make it easier for people to get through the content or to take the action?
NS (33:30):
So whenever I’m building an online course, I look at all right, what’s the information they need, what are the actions that they need to take? And what is the support that I can provide her that they’re going to need to take those actions and it, every single step of the way, how can I make it easier for them to consume the information? It it’s again, not creating 16 hours of content. It’s giving them only what they need to take the action. How can I make the action easier to take? Sometimes that’s templates, sometimes it’s swipe files. Sometimes it’s, it’s a certain level of support, right. And giving them that. But it’s all about making it easier. And with hello audio, when we built that, that was actually one of the non-negotiables in building that piece of software is it has to be easy to use if it’s not easy to use, people are not going to use it. And we, that was, that was how we, so now when we look at 70%, I think it’s a little over 70% of our folks said, join, hello, audio, and, and create their first private feed. They do it in less than a day. They launch their first feed in less than a day. And that isn’t a very important metric for our company, because if our product is not easy to use and they can’t get that value quickly, then we’ve done something wrong. That’s kind of what, what we truly believe.
AJV (34:45):
This is so good. So, alright. So I have a personal question for you that. Sure. So while you were talking, I pulled up think GI where we house all of our courses. Right? So as a part of brain builders group, our membership program, you get access to 14 courses. And so I it’s a lot, it’s a lot, right. That’s where I’m going. Right. So I broke it up and that’s why I pulled it in here. And so this has been a, it’s been a hot topic in our company because we have broken everything down into six lessons. Right. And at first everyone was like, that’s just too many. But the reason we did it is to make it bite size. Yep. So here’s what I’m curious to know is like, do you think the way that we’ve broken this up is still too long. So there are six lessons and in each of those lessons, we break them up into a training, a hot seat. And then a workbook. And so the training is 29 minutes and then the coaching hot seat is 15.
NS (35:38):
Okay. But they’re, but they’re distinct. Yeah. Which I love. And I think that, I mean, if I look at a 29 minute training, is that too long? No. Be, and I don’t think it’s never a number. I always look at the content. Are you giving more information that’s necessary knowing you no. Right. Like you’re giving exactly what they need to take the next action and nothing more. Does that mean you don’t care about them? And that you’re like, oh, let me over deliver. No, I like you are over delivering by keeping it as tight as possible. And that’s what I love
AJV (36:10):
Makes me so happy to hear, because if you told me something different, I’m pretty sure my team would’ve been like, we’re done. We
NS (36:16):
Quit. Your team is amazing. Your team is amazing. And here’s what I’ll say
AJV (36:20):
Backwards. Taking more ideas in here. That’s thing helpful to know. Cause it’s like we spent six months basically re orchestrating this from basically what you said is people are like, it’s so long, it’s hard prior to doing this. If you add all these up, you know, it’s like 12 hours of content. And it’s like, we had, ’em when we first started, this is so good for everyone to know. Like, don’t think just because that’s the way you start, that’s the way you have to end up. I know. But you know, when we started putting all of our courses in here, they were in two day, segments is a day, one and day two
NS (36:56):
Are long days. Those are
AJV (36:58):
One was six hours and then day two was like five hours. Right. But that’s how it was. And it wasn’t until like, we probably just had to have it that way. Cuz we have so much curriculum for, it was probably look that way for almost two years before we said, okay, let’s start going through our curriculum and how do we break this up? But that took a process of going, what is the best way to break this up and what is that right amount? And do we include both video and audio or is that too much? And we opted to do both video and audio right. As a, you know, but it’s really interesting of like even going through this, like we just launched our new version of our course membership just April 1st. So we just got it to the way that we wanted four years later. Yeah. And here’s the thing that I think is fascinating. The content itself has not changed.
NS (37:52):
It’s still valid. It still works.
AJV (37:54):
Yeah. And I think that’s a great reminder to anyone who is listening. It’s like just because you’re constantly reinventing and changing doesn’t mean the core content has to change. It’s just the format, the medium, the duration, the delivery mechanisms of it change. This is always a great reminder to me. I’m not sure if you know this, but our first book, so my husband launched his first book, take the stairs which hit number two on the New York times, we were super grateful, super blessed. It was a really awesome time, but we just celebrated 10 years of that book being out. And here’s the funniest thing B the exact same keynote today that he did 10 years ago, when the book launched
NS (38:38):
Still,
AJV (38:39):
When it launched, he was probably charging $7,500. Now his fee is 30. Yep. It’s the same content. The only thing that is different is the way that he delivers the content. That’s it? And I think that’s a great reminder to us is you don’t have to make new content. No. To make it better.
NS (39:00):
Yes. I, and I love that. And the fact that you’re zeroing in on the delivery mechanism, our, you gotta keep in mind markets evolve our habits as consumers evolve. I don’t know anyone who’s listening to this that does not have a, have an ideal customer that is busy. We’re all busy. And so while we, you know, before we would deliver things on like tele seminars, I don’t know about you, but the thought of sitting on a phone or having a phone for like hours on end, like we used to, you know, granted this was over a decade ago, but that was really popular. We have to continue to evolve our delivery mechanisms and our delivery channels to meet people where they’re already at. And that’s why I love. And we actually do integrate directly with think GI we have a lot of folks that host their courses on think GI and they automatically create private podcasts for courses because it’s just the delivery mechanism.
NS (39:54):
Some people will absolutely have time to log in and go through the videos. And I would even argue if you even have a visual course, there’s still benefit for people listening to where you’re taking them. Cuz we all know with learning repetition is key. And so when you sit down to watch that video where you sit down, it sounds like when you have your amazing workbooks and people are working through that, they’ve already heard it. Right. They’ve heard it once and they know where we’re headed or they know where you’re taking them. And that can provide a massive difference in terms of the results that your folks get.
AJV (40:24):
Hmm. I love that. And so you said something that’s really fascinating. It’s like you can create private podcasts yes. As courses in your membership site.
NS (40:33):
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
NS (40:36):
So with, with private podcasts, it kind of is it’s interesting that you can create all sorts of podcasts with different content. So we have a lot of teachers and a lot of online educators that use hello audio and they podcast their course. They have a private podcast version and Amy Porterfield who I know you just recently had on she’s one of a, she’s a hello audio user as well. And so she uses hello audio to deliver her DCA content to her, her audience because she has a lot of folks that are doing this as a side hustle. She has a lot of folks that are busy and here’s the thing. Her videos are amazing. They’re and, and she’s not trying to replace those videos. She’s just making it more convenient and easier to, for her audience to consume that information so that when they do sit down to do the work, they’ve already listened to it.
NS (41:23):
They have another option to get the information they need to get the results that they want. So for, for me, having, it’s easy to be able to just drag and drop all your course content and put it into a private feed that is still protected, right. That’s still very much protected cuz we all know that you put a lot of hard work into creating your premium courses. Right. But it’s also other things as well. We can, we can podcast. So if we look at the coaching calls, this is a great opportunity for coaching calls. You have group coaching calls, how many, and I know we’ve probably both invested heavily in coaching programs during our careers. How many times have we really logged in and watched that hour plus long zoom video really? For me hardly ever. Right. Hardly ever. And even if I start watching it, I have now opened bazillions of other tabs and I’m doing other things background
AJV (42:14):
I’m yeah. It’s just, it’ll just like, you know, absorb into my brain somehow. Yeah. exactly. So that’s so fascinating. So it’s like, you really create this really cool private feed. Yeah. Just for your membership, which is a really added value. But the thing I love too is like you create this gated thing. So once the, the link is clicked, it expires,
NS (42:34):
It expires, it expires and, and you get to set that time that it expires, you can set it to expire immediately. Or if you wanna give folks an hour because maybe they’re like me and they’ve got a bazillion devices and you wanna load it on maybe your iPad and your phone, you can do that as well, but we have it set so that you can choose to expire immediately after it’s used.
AJV (42:54):
So I’m curious, have you had any use studies on doing this for like private content? Just for your email list?
NS (43:03):
Yes. Okay.
AJV (43:04):
I’d love to hear
NS (43:05):
That we have folks. So we kind of use, if you think about a private podcast almost as the new inbox, right? So if your newsletters we have tar ZK is one of our users. She’s an amazing copywriter. Her emails are fantastic, right? Obviously she’s a copywriter, so she makes them, she’s a storyteller. They’re fantastic. And yet what she does is she’ll also read them and she has a private podcast called Tarzan, reads her emails, pretty clear what it is. Right. And it gives her subscribers a way to consume that content. Because I mean, I don’t know about your inbox. I probably have a lot of, let’s just say a lot. I don’t wanna get skewed a lot of unread emails in my inbox on a daily basis. So I probably will never need to read. Right. So just to give myself a little bit of an out, but it, it gets more and more crowded.
NS (43:53):
And so this gives her a way to con communicate and reach her existing list. And in a way that is, it allows her to express her personality. Think about reading that newsletter or reading that email and how different the experience is when you read it. And you’re listening to that person, read it with all of their intonation, their brand voice right now, that connection that we have with that person is more intimate. And it’s stronger because of the, the fact that it’s consumed in audio versus doesn’t this there’s nothing wrong with that email that email’s amazing, but it now takes our connection and our relationship to a new level.
AJV (44:30):
Yeah. Well that’s the, the thing with, you know, whether it’s, you know, audio or video, but it’s the audio component it’s like, don’t they say that hearing is like one of like the biggest sources of memory of smell and hearing, but it’s like one of the things too, it’s the thing that’s challenging about the written word is that you miss the tone and you miss those interests. I think, you know, it’s like we, I tried to all the time, it’s like, anytime I’m trying to write heated email, I’m like, delete that. Do not send that
NS (44:59):
That’s gonna not
AJV (44:59):
Be right. Cause it’s like, you always read it in the mood that you’re in, not the mood that it was sent, but totally different connotation and tone and feel when you hear someone in the intent that they desire to send us. Yes. Very much. I love this. This is so fascinating. Okay. So last two things, Nora. So what do you want people to know about hello audio?
NS (45:22):
Oh, well, hello. Audio is a great way for you to reach your consumers where they’re already at. And, and again, we made it easy to use, but even easier to try. So one of the things that we did with hello audience, we removed, I know a lot of SAS companies do this. They ask you to put in net credit card before you try it. We do not. So we have a free seven day trial, no credit card required to allow you to just experience it. So if you do wanna check it out and you’re interested in creating a private podcast for any sorts of content that you might already have, go ahead and go to hello, audio FM. And you can try it out for seven days without any requirements. No, no credit card requirements. It’s just making it super easy. There you go. Ease in convenience, reducing the friction
AJV (46:02):
Practice, what you preach. I’m gonna go from that. Absolutely too. And then last and not least, where can people follow you and learn more about you?
NS (46:11):
Absolutely. You can connect with [email protected] or on Instagram at Nora set.
AJV (46:17):
Oh my gosh, Nora, this was awesome. There is so much richness in this conversation and it’s like, I took an entire page of notes and I’m like trying to pay attention and come up with questions. Like I gotta write this down. This is so good. I love this. This was genuinely one of my favorite interviews that I’ve done. And it’s like, like I told you, it’s like into the audience, you know, it’s like we usually only have friends on it is very rare that we would take a pitch that somebody sent us. But I was so fascinated in this, that you have been the surprising delight in this conversation. Thank you so much for giving us your time today.
NS (46:53):
Oh, thanks for having me. I’m this has been amazing. I’m so glad we connected.
AJV (46:57):
Oh my gosh. I can’t wait to learn more. I can’t wait to stay connected. I’m so fascinated. And you, this has been such an awesome conversation. Thank you so much, everyone listening. Make sure you stay tuned. Come back for the recap episode and we will see you next time on the influential personal brand.

Ep 318: How to Get Publicity with Selena Soo

RV (00:02):
If you’ve hung around here for any length of time, you know, that the way that we define personal branding is simply the digitization of reputation. And one of the ways that I vet podcast guests, that we’re gonna bring on to introduce you to is through their reputation. It’s what do I hear about somebody from other people? And that is why you are about to meet Selena Soo. Selena is friends with lots of people that we know, Julie Solomon and Susie Moore, and just like I’ve heard her name for years, Celine Da Costa, who we’ve had on this show, who I really love and adore. And I think she’s brilliant. She actually was the one who finally connected us directly to Selena and Selena is an expert in publicity, you know, visibility and just helping people get seen and, and have more reach.
RV (00:57):
So she, for I think 18 years lived in New York, she had a publicity agency. She’s helped people get featured in Oprah and Forbes and Inc. And she works with lots of you know, experts and entrepreneurs, very similar obviously to our core audience. But specifically in the area of publicity. And so publicity is one of the things that we sort of lightly touch on, but we usually farm out that work to vendor partners. And so she’s a total, a total pro and I was like, we gotta get her on the show so that we can, we can get a chance to meet her. So Selena, welcome to the influential personal brand podcast.
SS (01:34):
Thank you, Rory. I’m so thrilled to be here.
RV (01:37):
So yeah. So let’s talk about publicity and let’s start with the easy ones. How do you get on good morning America?
SS (01:46):
you’re hilarious. But yeah, no, that, that’s a good question from the standpoint of like a lot of people are asking the wrong questions when they get started with publicity, you know, they’re saying, you know, I wanna get on good morning, America. I wanna get on Oprah’s couch. And I think it’s really important to start with getting clear on what is the right publicity strategy for me. So I think that we could begin with that. And so, you know, the number one thing that you need to be clear on are, what are your goals with publicity and connected to that? What is your business model? You know, if you are someone that is selling a $20 book, that’s very different than someone who is selling a $10,000 coaching program. So there’s, you know, different kinds of media that makes sense for your particular business model, but I’ll just briefly explain a framework that I developed called the publicity pyramid because,
RV (02:33):
Oh, we love frameworks. We love frameworks. Yes.
SS (02:36):
OK, great. So, you know, imagine a pyramid, a triangle at the bottom of the pyramid that is your home base, that is your online presence, right? That’s your personal brand. Cause the first thing that people are gonna do when they hear about you, whether it’s Oprah’s producers or someone else is Google you, and if they Google you and nothing shows up, then they’re not gonna
SS (02:54):
Like exactly. Right. So even just having like a solid website, a social media presence with content like that is step one, right? To really like be present online. And then step two is guest posting. Cause that’s a natural extension from writing content on social media or your blog or your newsletter. So now you’re sharing that same content, but on third party website so that other people can see you. And the great thing about guest posting is oftentimes you can include a link back to your website, right? So that’s good for SEO. It can be good for list building. You know, if you can link up to a lead magnet and there are some amazing places like Forbes, mind, body green that are built on this model of guest posting thrive global, right? All these different places. So that would be the second layer of the publicity pyramid. And then the
RV (03:42):
Third before you, so before you go onto the third one, which as I do wanna hear this, but I will say like, you know, we’ve been on Fox, we’ve been on good morning, America, we’ve been on Fox and friends. We’ve been on, you know, several local. I will say I would rather have a online article with a link to my site than I would be on good morning, America. Like the power of an article that people can read. I mean, being on good morning, America and stuff helps a bunch with credibility, but it’s mostly, it’s kind of like you drive for show and you put for dough and golf. Like most of the national TV is like the publicity perception. Yeah. But when it comes to driving traffic and sales and leads, man, I love a link. I wanna a link
SS (04:31):
Yeah. I’m still on the same page. And that’s, you know, how I started, like following this publicity pyramid framework where, you know, I had my website and you know, my social media, but then I was writing articles and writing guest posts, including writing guest posts for influencers who yeah. You know, mail the guest posts, like to their email list. And that’s how I got, you know, my first gosh, like maybe 2000 subscribers through that strategy. Wow. Yeah. So guest posts,
RV (04:57):
Your first 2000 email, like in your database came from just putting articles on other people’s sites.
SS (05:05):
Exactly. Yeah. So that was my, you know, starting point for really like getting my name out there to the public. And then from there, the next level is podcast interviews and video interviews or guest teaching would also fall into this category. You know, when you’re getting started as an expert, you wanna start with, you know, sharing your ideas through it in content, and eventually then you’re gonna have these back and forth conversations with people. Now, this is really where I hang out on the publicity pyramid because, you know, even though podcasts or doing guest teaching, it can be more niche, but these are people that are raising their hands saying, yes, I wanna be in the room. Or I wanna be listening to this conversation and learning 30 minutes or an hour. Those are the same kinds of people that buy online courses and coaching programs. So that’s really, you know, where I primarily hang out and maybe, you know, a certain podcast might not have the brand name recognition of as Forbes, but again, not all publicity is created equal and it’s not just about the branding. It’s about are my ideal clients who are right for my offers hanging out there.
RV (06:05):
Totally. Yeah. I mean that, I think this is a great example. Like you’re, you, you likely would get more clients from this podcast than probably from a national TV thing because it’s like, you know, there’s a random smattering of people listening, but you know, I, well, something you just said, I’ve never really thought about, which I love is when someone listens to a podcast mm-hmm, , it’s like they’ve already opted in because they already saw who the guest is. They read a little blurb and so based on the host and then like, okay, this guest looks interesting. It’s almost like a first level opt in that they’re choosing to be there. I like that. I’ve never heard anyone say that before. That’s good.
SS (06:47):
Yeah.
RV (06:48):
All right. So is there a step four?
SS (06:50):
Yeah, there’s four. There’s the next level? There’s four and five. Okay. So now we’re moving up, the publicity here, we’re getting more mainstream, so that’s gonna be magazines and, you know, magazines are powerful because people read magazines on the plane at the beach or the dentists office. Like you’re literally getting in front of millions of people. That being said with magazines, typically when you’re being mentioned in a magazine or featured, it’s usually, you know, your expertise, a quote versus like a fully written piece by you. Yeah. So you’re reaching millions, but it’s you know, less in depth. Right. And then with TV, which is at the top of the publicity pyramid, because it tends to be harder to get on TV than to get a podcast interview. That being said, as we move up, we’re reaching more people. But it can be less in depth. Like for example, a lot of TV interviews are just three or four minutes long. Yeah. So it’s kinda really
RV (07:41):
Powerful, even if you’re Tony Robbins like Tony, even if you’re Tony Robbins, you get you Dave Ramsey, you get four minutes and you’re out.
SS (07:48):
Exactly. Yeah. So, I mean, it’s a huge credibility builder to say you’re on good morning, America or CNN. And all of that. And it can be, you know, powerful if you’re spreading your message to the masses with like a mass product, whether it’s a book, an iPhone app or some kind of physical product. So it really depends on, you know, is your message one really for the mainstream mainstream masses, or are you going for a more niche audience? And then also like considering where do you really shine? You know, for some people they really wanna stick to the written word and that’s really where their magic comes out for other people like videos where it’s at. So but I would say in terms of like the law of least effort, the most natural path, it would be building out some basic online presence then going into guest posting then podcasting. And then if you want to moving your way up to magazines and TV.
RV (08:38):
Yeah. It’s interesting. You know, just that whole, this whole conversation that you just went through, which I love the publicity pyramid is what you call it Uhhuh. So, so great. Such a simple framework is so powerful is, you know, people go, oh, magazines and TV is so sexy, but like you’re gonna get way more business from podcasts and guest posting mm-hmm because it’s just, there’s that link click or that you direct drive. At least we have like that that’s been, that’s been our experience. So let’s can, can we talk about TV for a second, cuz that one is, I think people are super curious about it. Yeah. You know, I’m always amazed because you know, like when it comes to podcasts, I, I, I tend to see, and you tell me if you think differently, but I tend to see that, like when you see a big a guest on a podcast, you can almost predict it, cuz it’s like, oh, this person has a bunch of followers.
RV (09:34):
They’re super credible, you know? Or they’re like, you know, some world renowned person in, in, in their field. Yeah. You know, or they’re like famous for, for whatever. And in TV a lot of times it’s like, oh yeah, of course they’re gonna have Brad pit or whoever on there for something. But when it comes to featuring books, I’m often surprised that if you’re a mainstream person, it’s not an automatic laydown they might not have Gary Vayner Chuck on just because it’s Gary Vayner, Chuck, sometimes they do. But a lot of times they have newer authors on or people that I, that you haven’t heard of. In other words, it’s, it feels more random in terms of the, in terms of the selection. It’s not like, oh, this person checks every single box. And so they get invited on this huge show. It’s a little bit of that, but I, you know, a lot of times they they’ll, they’ll grab people that are like newer. I mean, I got on Fox and friends as a first time author. Like the week after my first book came out was my first national TV appearance. And I was like, well, that’s random. Like what are they doing with, what are they doing with me? So like, how do, is there anything you can speak to until like, how do you get those spots? Do, is there anything they are looking for or not looking for? Like for TV specifically?
SS (10:48):
Yeah. I mean, I would say, you know, you wanna differentiate between local news and national news because for local TV they have a responsibility to share the stories and ideas of local experts. So, you know, if you’re an author, you know, think about, well, what cities am I connected to? Where was I born? Where did I go to college? Where have I worked? Where am I living
RV (11:09):
Now? Oh, that’s good.
SS (11:10):
Right. So I would identify all those places and really start with those markets. Because if you can mention your local connection, then you’re kind of at the top of the priority list. So that’s, you know, that’s important. And I would say that before you go on national TV, I mean, that’s incredible that, you know, you were on these national shows, but I also think a big part of it is that you done an amazing job of building your personal brand, that they, they probably had confidence that, you know, you were good on video, but I will say for national TV, they’re gonna wanna see that someone has ideally been on local TV first. Because you know, just cuz someone’s good at the podcast interview doesn’t mean that they’re gonna be good at TV. They’re gonna consider like, you know, do they have a great setup with lighting?
SS (11:52):
Can they, they speak in soundbites because some people, yeah, they can talk on a 30 minute or one hour podcast interview, but can you speak succinctly in a four minute interview? So there’s a lot more at stake and it’s not like with podcast interviews where they’re gonna be editing it later, like you kind of gotta get it right at the first shop. So I will say for like the big leagues, like the big national outlets they’re definitely doing the research in terms of what that person’s personal brand is. Have they done TV before? Are they confident? Do they, you know, smile? Are they presentable? So I would say the first stop is really, you know, to start with local news. And then once you have those TV clips, then when you’re sending in your pitch, you wanna share that so they can see, you know, you have that experience.
RV (12:34):
That’s so good. And, and that, that is, that is so true. Selena that like, you know, I love podcasts. I feel so super at home on podcast. TV goes so fast, it’s it? It four minutes blows by and it’s like, you don’t have time for a setup. There’s no time for backstory. It’s like, you just gotta deliver sound bites. They gotta be tight and sharp. It’s, it’s a different, it’s a different, it’s a different skillset. And, and being on local TV is, is, is, is huge. I love that tip about too, you know, what’s your connection to local. And I would, I would, I would tell somebody, listening, you know, you think you wanna be on good morning America right now, but you actually don’t, you, you don’t want to be on there until you’re ready for it, which is until you’ve had some, you’ve had some reps at local TV, you have the sound bites and like your website is ready for it. And you’re like prepared to like receive that traffic and capture. But yeah, TV is a TV is a is a, is a different beast.
SS (13:38):
And the other thing that I will say is with TV, like they’re really looking to capture people’s interests, you know, with visuals, right. Cause you’re watching TV. So, you know, if you have good role of you, you know, I don’t know, working with clients or if you have like live exercise that the TV audience can do, like those are gonna be things that are interesting if you’re just a talking head like, and it’s just, you know, all they’re seeing is someone talking for four minutes straight. It’s not as interesting. So just know that when the producers are thinking about, well, I have a person on their show, they’re gonna think about not just what are the words are gonna kind of the person’s mouth, but is there something that the person that can share that can capture visual interest or is there activity that would be engaging to the audience?
RV (14:21):
Gosh, that’s so simple, but that’s, that makes so, so much sense. So when you make a pitch, would you include notes about like B roll that you would show or like a, if there’s a visual or something?
SS (14:33):
Yeah. So if you were say a love coach and you were pitching you know, you could talk about, you know, that you have clients that could come onto the show or you have like B role of you working with clients and so forth, or maybe there’s like an activity for someone to do to attract, you know, their soulmate. And maybe you would write out like what the activity activity would look like. Like maybe they need to have a journal that they did. They, they journal in 30 days and you would like mention all these different props so that the segment would look very dynamic where there’d be the talking head, but there would also be props and activities involved.
RV (15:06):
Yeah. That, and that’s why you see probably all the time you see like chefs on there, cuz it’s very visual. Cause they can cut and show the food and like show, show all the stuff. So it’s almost like you, when you’re pitching for TV, what I hear you saying is it’s like, you’re not even just pitching like the content of what you’re gonna say. Yeah. But almost like you’re pitching, think of it as pitching a segment to them of like how this could fold out visually and that makes it an easier. Yes.
SS (15:34):
Yeah, exactly. I mean, you know, TV producers are so busy and, you know, think about like with a podcast, there’ll be a certain number of episodes that are released, you know, per month, but TV, I mean it’s kind of 24 7, right. It’s every day. So they constantly need new content. They need to keep it interesting. So if you, as an expert can pitch yourself or as a publicist pitch, you and you’re kind of like mapping out what this segment could look like. You’re presenting something on a silver platter and making it easier for them to say yes. So when there’s so many options, of course we’re gonna say yes to the person who makes our job easy for us.
RV (16:08):
Mm-Hmm yeah. That’s great. That’s really great. So you mentioned earlier, which I think is really, is really keen about what are your goals? Like if you’re trying to sell a book versus you’re trying to generate coaching clients or clients for your practice. Right. So we have a lot of like professional service people who tend to listen to this financial advisors and like, you know, people like that. Or if you’re just trying to generate awareness for your company, you’re the CEO. And you’re like, I’m not trying to do direct marketing with a conversion. Yeah. I just want impressions and awareness. Yeah. So how does that map, or, or how do those business objectives map to your publicity pyramid or like, are there certain ones that are better fits for others or like talk about that.
SS (16:56):
That’s such a great question. So I think it’s important to get clear on with your expert topics. Are they niche or are they mainstream? So when I’m speaking of expert topics, it’s like the things that you wanna be known for. And I know a lot of entrepreneurs can be multi passionate at the end of the day. You wanna hone in on a few key things. So for example, at one point I had a business mastermind and people in the mastermind would ask me questions about scaling their business and you know, if they should hire a senior project manager, well, if I started getting bored of my regular expert topic and just wanted a podcast talking about how to grow your team, well then people are gonna circle back and be like, oh, I wanna work with you to grow my team. But like my mastermind is something that maybe is only four 20 people.
SS (17:39):
Whereas with my programs, let’s say I have 500 people you know, in a particular group program. Right. So my primary group program has been a program called impacting millions and that’s about publicity. So if my intention was, I wanna get people enrolled to my publicity program, then what I’m talking about in the media should match my offerings. Right? So looking at your own business, what’s the 80 20, what does the majority of revenue come from? Which offering will, you know, based on that offering, that should be what your expert topic is. And so when you look at your expert topic, is it mainstream or niche? So for publicity, I would consider that to be a niche topic. For me, a mainstream topic is something that applies to most people. For example, if I was to talk about being an introvert, well, you know, half of the population are introverts like approximately.
SS (18:27):
So that would be mainstream. Or if I were talking about networking or relationship building that applies to everyone, whether you’re a student at college or you have, you know, professional job or you’re an entrepreneur, whereas publicity typically, you know, it applies to entrepreneurs who are building their personal brands. So that’s a bit more niche. So knowing that with my offerings, I’m looking for a niche audience, not just kind of anybody I’m gonna target more niche media. So it might not have the same reach, but it’s gonna help me get in front of the right people. So those are the things I consider. But then there’s also, you know, there is a role for just personal brand building in terms of media. You know, there are certain brand names that are very recognizable, like Forbes and business insider. And so, you know, being featured in those outlets can also be really powerful whether or not your ideal client has actually read the article that you’re featured in.
SS (19:23):
But if they just see those media logos on, you know, your site, they see you as a credible expert. And the other thing that you can do with your email list is when you get your media features, you know, put them in front of them, you can add them to your email nurture sequence. You know, you can add those, you know, media logos and trust symbols next to you know, places where people opt in or, you know, make purchasing decisions. So I think that when it comes to publicity, it’s sort of multifaceted. I would say primarily you wanna get in front of people who are your ideal clients, but there is also something to be said about prestige media as well.
RV (19:58):
Yeah, that, I mean, I, I love that. And I agree with that so much. The I have found that most of the major national stuff, the real, the primarily the only real value of the media appearance is how you repurpose the appearance, basically putting it on your website. Also those of you that are speakers, you know, in your demo videos, or even if you’re a coach and you’re not a speaker, you could still have like a little, you know, little bio video. And I’m just pulling up, I’m pulling up a data point on this just for everybody. So one of the things that we did Selena was we led this trends in personal branding, national research study. And we we partnered with this PhD led research firm. And we asked, you know, all these different questions, but one of the questions was how important are each of the following when it comes to paying someone more for a product or service.
RV (20:58):
So I just wanna put a data point here behind something that Sina is saying. So, and we asked you have a, a Ted talk, a New York times bestselling book, a wall street journal, bestselling book a social media file. I’ll go ahead and show this on the screen for those of you that are watch watching this on YouTube. So I had to, I had to pull it up quick. So page 60 of our, of our report which is free, y’all know that you can, you can download this at on brand builders, group.com. But the number one thing that clients say they’re willing to pay more money for is when they see testimonials from their, from their customers. The second is that they’re paid to consult or speak, but the fourth. So this is a list of like 20 things, the fourth, and this is waited to the us census.
RV (21:49):
52% of Americans say they are more likely to pay more money to, to buy a product or service from someone who has been featured in the media as an expert. So that is an actual data point that is supporting what Selena is saying. And of course, we’ve, we’ve talked about this study in other times. And usually the point we make is actually the average pub person in the public doesn’t care that much about a New York times bestselling book or a wall street journal or a viral, you know, Ted talk, they care about testimonials and they care about, are you being paid to speak or, or consult. And then the fourth is that they care are that you’re appearing in the media. 52% of Americans say, they’ll pay you more money just because you have those logos on your site. So like Selena, that is amazing. Like, what do you call it? Prestige? Is that what you called it? Prestige. Pre
SS (22:45):
Prestige. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-Hmm
RV (22:48):
I love that. So prestige PR, so that’s really, really cool. And so the mainstream stuff too, is like, you know, so it’s like money, sex, careers relationships, like, you know, self
SS (23:03):
Productivity, success,
RV (23:04):
Productivity. Yeah. Those mm-hmm . But, but even I found like even personal branding, a lot of it, you know, we’ve gotten a lot of success from more like niche, niche stuff and not, not, not main, it’s not super mainstream for entrepreneurs. So let’s talk about entrepreneurs for a second. Okay. So clearly if you have a course, you know, you’re trying to sell a membership site, a book if you’re trying to get yourself out there as a speaker, a consultant. Okay. Media makes sense. I get it. What if I’m an entrepreneur or even an executive at a company how, or when, or why does, does, does the media really apply? And, and is there, is there a way you would use media differently if you had that object? Like if I’m an expert and I go, I’m trying to sell more of my widget. Great. Yeah. I wanna go on media and drive traffic and sell my, my widget. But if I’m an entrepreneur or I’m an executive company, would you modify that at all? Or how does that work?
SS (24:08):
I think it’s the same thing. Like having media, it builds your credibility as a go to expert, as you said, people are willing to pay you more, but also people are more interested inviting you to come in to be a speaker at their event. You know, there’s just more trust or more likely to take the meeting. Right? One of the first things that anyone does, you know, before they respond to someone or say yes to a request is they do a quick Google search on them. And when they land on their website, if they see media logos, it’s like, okay, this person is the real deal. And it just also shows that like, you’re taking your work seriously. If someone is just like quietly, you know, doing their work, but they’re not out there sharing their ideas. They’re not building that body of work. They’re not really seen as the real deal. So I would say that media is the ultimate credibility marker. It’s something that every person understands. Whereas if you’re like, oh, I had a webinar with, you know, a thousand people on people don’t really know what that means, but they understand what it means to be featured in a top, you know, magazine, newspaper, podcast, and so forth.
RV (25:07):
Yeah. Yeah. It is. It’s definitely this like universal credibility indicator. I, I I know we’re wrapping up one thing I wanna do how do you find these people? Okay. So, so let’s say, I mean, of course you could hire a publicist and then when you hire a publicist, you’re sort of treading off of that. They already have contact information and relationships with people, and that’s really what you’re paying for. You know, when you, I, I feel like when you hire a publicist, you’re paying for someone who has the contact information readily available and who has relationships to make that for you? They don’t, none of them guarantee results. Yeah. And and they get varying results partly based on their relationship, but largely based on your position in the marketplace. But if you’re gonna do it yourself and, and we’ve, we’ve actually had a lot of people be very successful doing it themselves. I, it how, how do you find the outlets? Like how do you find the people? I mean, do you basically just go to Google or like there anything specific you’re typing in to like find the right person to pitch to?
SS (26:13):
Yeah. I think the first step is figuring out what are the right media outlets for me. So I can share like a couple of very quick strategies that I think will help people a lot. So one of my favorite techniques is called the follow, the leader technique. That’s something that I created. Yeah. So getting clear on, okay, what’s my expert topic. So let’s say someone’s expert topic was, you know, public speaking then they wanna think about who are some other leaders either in their industry or connected to them, right. So they might be looking at well, who else is teaching on visibility? Maybe it’s a publicity expert. Maybe it’s a public speaking coach. Maybe it’s someone that specializes in getting people Ted talks, right. And then doing a Google search on them and seeing what kind of media they’ve been featured in, you know, maybe going to their website and seeing if their media page or even going to specialize search engine.
SS (27:05):
So there’s a search engine called listen, notes.com.com it’s for podcasts. And so if you type in someone’s name into that search engine, within moments, all the podcasts that they’ve been featured on are gonna come up. So if you do that exercise with five people in your industry in no time, you’re gonna have a media list of dozens of targeted outlets that top leaders in your industry have been featured in. And so these are places that you’ll wanna be considering for your own media list. So, you know, using the fall a leader technique is super, super powerful. Also even doing things like leveraging existing research, if you wanna be on top business podcast, literally type into Google, a top business podcast, and people have compiled the top 20, the top 50, the top, you know, a hundred business podcasts. And you can leverage that existing research to start building your own personal media list.
RV (27:55):
Yeah, that’s funny. Yeah. That’s how I, that’s how I met Celine. Actually, she was doing a four podcast on the top personal brand. No, I think it was top podcast for business and, and somebody. Yeah. John Lee Dumas introduced her to us. So that was actually, she put an article together, which was an amazing article. Yeah. And yeah, you mentioned listen notes, which is a great one because that is I was gonna, I was gonna mention, I was gonna mention that there’s another really great tool and I’m trying to remember what it is that will tell you that’s kind of similar listen notes is the best for podcasts for sure. There’s another one that you can like search by topic and it will tell you all of the people who are spark Toro, have you heard of spark Toro?
SS (28:49):
No, I feel like I need to write this down.
RV (28:51):
yeah, it’s a good, it’s a good one. For those of you listening li listen notes is the one we use for podcast, right? So you go figure out, by the way, this is the same technique, those of you that listening that we use to get speaking engagements, we figure out who are the other speakers that are in your same fee range. Mm-Hmm, go, go, go to their website or go follow ’em on social media. And they post had a great day speaking for so and so, or testimonials right on their website from Jane Smith at Oracle. And you’re like, there it is. You know, like it’s this is the same strategy, but spark Toro is a really powerful tool. And it’ll tell you like it’s more of like an influencer research tool, but it’s kind of in that. So anyways, like if you, if you never checked it out, those of you listening, you check out, listen, nos.com, spark Toro. We don’t even have affiliate links for those. We should get affiliate links for them, but that’s, that’s a freebie speaking of links Selena, where should people go if they wanna like connect with you and, and learn more. I know you have a bunch of free tools that you make available to people. So like how do we stay connected to you?
SS (29:54):
Absolutely. So the thing I’m most excited to share is my 12 month publicity calendar, because when it comes to getting to the media, there’s a few things that you need to understand. First of all, like what kinds of story ideas are they looking for? And one of the things that they’re looking for are timely story ideas. So every single month there are certain themes. And if you can hit on these themes, you’re more likely to get accepted onto podcasts, onto TV, in magazines and so forth. So I have a 12 month media calendar it’s full of 40 pages worth of store ideas, special hooks and dates to help you get into the media. And you love it. Yeah. Impacting millions.com/calendar. And people have used this to not just map out their publicity plans for the year, but they’ve also used it to map out their social media content, their newsletter content. So people can go ahead and get an impacting millions.com/calendar. This took me like a ridiculous number of hours to put together. And it’s 40 pages worth of time saving tips and resources and dates to help you get into the media. So you can go ahead and check it [email protected] slash calendar
RV (30:59):
Genius. I we don’t even have an affiliate link for this, but I went and did it myself. Great lead magnet, so useful and so practical because yeah, it gives you a way, like, all you need to know is what are the topics they’re interested in every month and then just like position what you do to that. Fantastic. So I’m downloading that we’ll put a link to impacting millions.com in the show notes slash slash calendar, impacting millions.com/calendar. You guys can check it out make sure you follow Selena online and send her some love. If you picked up some tips, let her know that you found her from our crew here. And gosh, Selena, this is just so cool. And I’m so great. I’m so glad to finally meet you in person. You, you are an example of your reputation procedures, you, and that’s what we want all of our clients to be. It’s what we try to aspire to be. And you got great tips, a great lead magnet, just, you know, I love it. So we wish you, we wish you the best. Thanks for coming.
SS (32:00):
Thanks so much.