A question that is asked often is, “how do I get to know this person,” or “what would I say that would incentivize that person to want to be on my podcast”? There are many more questions like this that all lead to the main question of what would make someone who already has a strong reputation, who has a large following, and who doesn’t need me, but I need them, want to help me? And the only answer I can ever come up with is, you can’t, unless you have a relationship with them, so focus on building that.
Lessons from Lewis Howes
The next obvious question is, “well how can I do that”? And that leads to my biggest mental shift of 2019 that is too good not to share. This lesson I learned from Lewis Howes and although I had heard him say it many times, it finally clicked this year. Lewis has been able to connect with the biggest names in their industries, people who don’t need to be on his podcast, but they want to be, and it comes down to one word: value.
He looks to add value to every person he connects with. It’s not a one-time thing, its continuous. He looks to serve that person above anything else. He builds the relationship and makes himself someone that is a value add to that person’s life instead of an energy taker. Just because he can ask them for help or a favor, he doesn’t. He waits until it makes perfect sense – and even after that, he continues to be on that person’s team.
You may have excuses or reasons as to why you wouldn’t be able to add value to the person you want to connect with or think that they have access to anything they want already so why would they need you, but you’re wrong. Evaluate your skills, what do you already offer to the world, and how can you offer that with a different angle. Look for ways to give without talking about your business, your brand, your needs and trust that this will further any objective you could possibly have if you focus on how you can help this person.
Step by Step Process
Here’s a simple step by step process on how to execute this:
- Do your research. Listen to their podcasts, read their books, watch their interviews, see them live, but look for areas of opportunity to add value.
- Show up! It is so much easier to build a relationship when you meet people in person. The more people see of you, the more they remember you.
- Connect the opportunity with something you can deliver. This may be a connection, it maybe they need to improve a skill set and you happen to excel in that area. For example, I offered an influencer feedback on their presentation to help them improve their delivery for greater impact and they enthusiastically accepted. It doesn’t have to be extreme. It just has to be something that they don’t have the skillset and you do.
- Nurture the relationship. Send them a message if they have something big coming up and cheer them on. If you see them at an event, take time to go say hi and ask what they have been up to. I love asking “what are you working on behind the scenes”? Let them know you are always happy to help.
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Continue these 3 steps and the relationships you build and the knowledge you gain in the process will give back to you in ways that you would have never reached if you were always looking to ask for something. It’s so simple and it goes back to the principle that Zig Ziglar always shared, “you will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.”
Now I know there are people out there that are doing this every day and I’d love for you to share your ideas below!
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Connect with Elle
Elle Petrillo is the Host of the upcoming Unfiltered Life Podcast where she challenges people to stop pretending and own who they are. From New York to Montana, Disney Cast member to Door to Door Sales, Partner at 23 to fired at 31, Elle is unapologetically flawed. She is a founding member of Brand Builders Group, where she delivers the honest truth about what it takes to turn your personality into profit.